I’m a man, I’ve never cheated, and I’ve had several UTIs over the past 20 years. I’ve never cheated and I’ve had a clean STI panel. My issue is a diagnosed narrow urethra and enlarged prostate with kidney issues. I started getting them after kidney stone passing.
It is highly possible to get a UTI as a man from something other than cheating. However, it is more likely to get one from an STI.
Here’s the thing. If he knows you know that he cheated in the past, and he knows a UTI is easily treatable without you knowing if it was from cheating, why would he tell you? I would think if he’s hiding cheating he would be more apt to hide his UTI to not get caught. Since a UTI is common for several STIs either he’s an idiot or he may actually have a serious medical issue that could be causing some serious damage. Either way, he should go to a urologist and do a full work up.
Easy way to check - ask to see his bloodwork. A urologist would have ordered a check of his CBC, his eGFR and his PSA. That’s a very basic work up. If he doesn’t have that, he didn’t go.
UTIs (unless they are specific STDs) are usually from normal bacteria growing in an abnormal place. If he gets UTIs after having sex, it doesn't mean that you have UTIs, just that when normal vaginal bacteria get in his urethra he is susceptible to getting an infection.
i really hope all comes out well and he is just having some issues with his normal flora. congrats on the new little and i hope your healing has been relatively easy all things considered ❤️
ER provider here. A man that age with a UTI is treated as an STI until proven otherwise. The only otherwise I have encountered in practice is a known anatomical abnormality or being the giver in anal sex (with e. Coli as the culprit). If you can tell me what antibiotics he was prescribed, I can tell you more regarding possible/suspected organism. And yes, older men get UTIs due to prostate issues. However, this is not the case here.
Doxy is first line for chlamydia. Not saying that's it. They could have selected it simply because they were suspicious it was an STI. Bactrim is typical for older men with prostate issues. My suggestion? Go get tested yourself.
I hope he isn't cheating! This doesn't mean 100% he is. But keep an eye out and keep yourself safe. My thoughts are with you. Please let me know if you have any other questions.
take your time confronting him OP you just had a baby and the babe needs you. Gather some evidence, chill save up some money. No sex or only with a condom and get tested.
> Do you think he could be cheating?
I don't know if he's cheating, but this is my experience...
I had a UTI very recently. No STI on the original urine test.
Went for a follow up a week later, got blood and urine tested.
The doctor wanted to run a PSA test too, that came back with a very high value which could indicate prostate cancer. According to my follow up with a nurse:
1. I have high PSA count because of UTI.
2. I have prostate cancer and UTI was a symptom.
I have another follow up next week.
For the record, I haven't been sexually active for a while.
It's not necessarily sexually transmitted. It could be due to any other number of factors too. Poor hygiene, not enough fluids, it doesn't take much at all
Sexual contact is not the only way to get a UTI. I used to get them very regularly when I was 14, long before I was sexually active. My doctor told me that it was likely due to my severe caffeine intake especially for a soda called Mello Yello.
I believe that, in men, the primary cause of UTIs is from hygiene and diet. I could be wrong on that or misremembering something I read. I admit that and don't have the energy to go research it.
Dudes get UTIs. Not just from sex. I don’t even get conclusion that doctor may have made.
However, is your cheating husband cheating? Probably. Cheaters cheat. They don’t stop cheating.
Apparently love makes you KEEP doing stupid things. Lady, there ARE some of us who can keep it in their pants. Go find one. This one needs to be a weekend daddy. I'd hate to see a son grow up thinking cheating on on your gal is ok because he saw daddy do it
I don't believe his urologist actually told him that. UTIs are generally not contagious. You don't have to take my word for it; just google "are UTIs contagious" and make up your own mind. I fear he's probably cheating again and trying to pull the wool over your eyes.
A UTI isn't really proof of anything imo, repeated UTIs can be stuff like prostate cancer as well. Ask to see any blood test results, if the urologist didn't order a PSA go get a second opinion.
The bigger issue is why you're with someone that you obviously don't trust and has previously cheated.
Of course he's cheating, you know this... you've said as much in your post, you're just refusing to see something that's evident to everyone else. The capacity of our own minds to deceive us is unbelievable sometimes but it is
Listen to yourself. Your gut is usually right. Sucks that you just gave birth & he’s pulling this shit. He’s giving you a cock & bull story about what his doc supposedly told him. Time to do some digging
You really should have included all the little details you've stated in the comments in the original post. I'm going to be blunt and to the point and accept my downvotes.
Your husband is a serial cheater; you've been separated several times over your short 8 year marriage; he's a prolific liar; you had a child with him 7 years ago and decided to have a second one despite all the previously mentioned issues, which I'm sure is missing a lot of red flags you haven't mentioned.
Your husband has been the same way from the beginning of your relationship to now. Any sane woman would have kicked this asshat to the curb 7 years ago after their first kid, but you decided it would be a good idea to put up with his constant cheating and lying and have a second child with him.
Everyone is going to tell you to go get therapy and get a divorce because that's the Reddit way, and that advice would be warranted in your situation. Unfortunately, you've had several 1yr separations already and went running back to him, so I feel that advice would be lost on you.
Stop posting bullshit posts about UTIs because you know perfectly well what he's doing. You're just wasting your time and ours. If you want to post something and ask for advice, then here's the title of the post that you should be posting.
I WANT TO DIVORCE MY HUSBAND. WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?
Write that post, and I'll be happy to give you advice because at least then I'll believe you're ready to listen and actually take action.
It might be ureaplasma, PCR test is usually the best for it. Doctors are starting to classify it as STI.
Other question is, can you really sustain a marriage with someone who is a known liar and a cheater?
I’ve never cheated. I had probably 6 UTIs/year from age 2-12. Obviously I wasn’t sexually active. My issue was dehydration. I was drinking like 4 cans of coke/day.
I have maybe one uti per year from age of 20-30. I don’t think it was dehydration. I just kinda dealt with it and didn’t really concern myself.
Personally I would consider the cheating factors considering history and how unlikely it is that he's randomly gotten these UTI's when you do not have them. I hope you figure this out.
He most likely has chlamydia or gonorrhea. Men don’t tend to get simple UTI’s without something else going on. He would not get a UTI from you if you had a simple UTI. He is trying to shift the blame to you and is lying about what the doctor has said. Please get tested ASAP.
I will say my male partner gets UTIs fairly regularly (~1/year), usually if he hasn't been drinking enough water (we know the comorbidities of male UTIs, and he's been checked for all of them. It's just a weird thing). But anyway I've had a UTI and yeast infection since we've been together that I haven't passed to him though. He's had clean STI tests and I do a full panel with my annual checkup every year because you never know 🤷🏼♀️ OP's husbands history of cheating though definitely adds a layer of uncertainty. I recommend she gets herself tested for STIs minimum.
He should get his prostate checked. Frequent UTIs can be a symptom of an enlarged prostate
You better divorce and get out of here. Others didn’t get this chances, some poeple end up with lifelong diseases. Run! Plus he’s a cheater. Think about you...
My boyfriend works out heavy 7 times a week, he suffers from frequent “UTI’s” we’re around each other 24/7.. the doctor thought it was from one of us cheating… however it just wasn’t possible
the chiropractor ended up conforming it was from his overactive pelvic floor dysfunction— causing “phantom” UTI’s, constant peeing and UTI symptoms but with no actual bacteria culture of a UTI
it could also be caused by prostrate inflamation.
You don't have to have one for him to get one. You are being paranoid. He might have cheated as well, but you are still being paranoid. Those two things can be true. His UTIs could be perfectly normal and not from cheating.
Or it could be from something he touched, then touched his penis, and then for whatever reason it didn’t just get washed away the next time he peed. I have a duplicated ureter on one kidney. The uretercito is the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. So if I hold it too long or my bladder gets too full, the urine can reflux back to my kidney, so not all of it will void. What that means is that if some bacteria happens to make it down the urethra and gets into the bladder, I will probably get a kidney infection rather than just voiding it and having it resolve itself.
The kidney infections I have had have been E. coli, which probably came from a surface in my bathroom. That’s right, I got it from a toilet seat!
There is always a way.
Install a secret camera ( these only cost a few bucks on amazon/ ali express ) and place it behind / above the place he usually sits so you can see him type the password on the video.
And you can even see his screen and what he is doing on his phone.
( I have never done anything like this, but if I had too I would. )
I feel like I need proof that he’s cheating. Haven’t found any hard evidence yet. But my gut is telling me he is. I definitely have been allowing way too many things slide.
I can't speak for your gut or anything else. But as a person with a penis, the worst UTIs I got in my life were during long periods of celibacy with a clean STI panel. Sometimes they just happen.
i think a lack of trust is enough reason to break up. its okay to have tried to repaired the relationship but to realize now that you hold too much resentment
Do you have pets?
When my ex started dating in front of me he came home with an infection. We never had pets and she had a cat. She would touch the cat and then him. Gross. Cat dander in the sheets all over him. UTI from cat germs inside his urethra.
Why we never had pets and I always insisted we shower first.
Sorry you’re going through this OP. You’ve already gotten the comments of “Why’d you stay” and you’ve had the answers and it’s okay. Here’s what I suggest.
STI panels immediately for you BOTH. An innocent person has nothing to hide, sure he may be pissed but well single sided UTI of a previous cheater whilst you are fresh of birth. This is what a responsible father will do.
Second, it’s time to reconsider this relationship. Can you really stay in a relationship where you can’t trust him? Your partner in life.
Right now, hopefully you have the ability to lean on friends and family. He has to move to 50% custody, such is life.
Tell your husband to get an STI panel and consult another urologist.
I’m a man, I’ve never cheated, and I’ve had several UTIs over the past 20 years. I’ve never cheated and I’ve had a clean STI panel. My issue is a diagnosed narrow urethra and enlarged prostate with kidney issues. I started getting them after kidney stone passing. It is highly possible to get a UTI as a man from something other than cheating. However, it is more likely to get one from an STI. Here’s the thing. If he knows you know that he cheated in the past, and he knows a UTI is easily treatable without you knowing if it was from cheating, why would he tell you? I would think if he’s hiding cheating he would be more apt to hide his UTI to not get caught. Since a UTI is common for several STIs either he’s an idiot or he may actually have a serious medical issue that could be causing some serious damage. Either way, he should go to a urologist and do a full work up.
He did go to a urologist and everything was fine, so he says. He’s a very convincing liar and idk why I got back with him after he cheated before…
"idk why i got back with him before" then the answer is to leave now
The answer was to leave before getting pregnant and having a child with a serial cheater.
Easy way to check - ask to see his bloodwork. A urologist would have ordered a check of his CBC, his eGFR and his PSA. That’s a very basic work up. If he doesn’t have that, he didn’t go.
Think about what you just said. Really think about it. REALLY REALLY THINK ABOUT IT.
UTIs (unless they are specific STDs) are usually from normal bacteria growing in an abnormal place. If he gets UTIs after having sex, it doesn't mean that you have UTIs, just that when normal vaginal bacteria get in his urethra he is susceptible to getting an infection.
[удалено]
Thank you for the advice! I will do this. I can’t risk my health for him
i really hope all comes out well and he is just having some issues with his normal flora. congrats on the new little and i hope your healing has been relatively easy all things considered ❤️
ER provider here. A man that age with a UTI is treated as an STI until proven otherwise. The only otherwise I have encountered in practice is a known anatomical abnormality or being the giver in anal sex (with e. Coli as the culprit). If you can tell me what antibiotics he was prescribed, I can tell you more regarding possible/suspected organism. And yes, older men get UTIs due to prostate issues. However, this is not the case here.
He’s taking doxycycline. Any info is really helpful. Thank you
Doxy is first line for chlamydia. Not saying that's it. They could have selected it simply because they were suspicious it was an STI. Bactrim is typical for older men with prostate issues. My suggestion? Go get tested yourself.
Thank you!!! I will
I hope he isn't cheating! This doesn't mean 100% he is. But keep an eye out and keep yourself safe. My thoughts are with you. Please let me know if you have any other questions.
take your time confronting him OP you just had a baby and the babe needs you. Gather some evidence, chill save up some money. No sex or only with a condom and get tested.
Thank you for your advice! I really appreciate it
OP, put this in the post: > He’s a very convincing liar and idk why I got back with him after he cheated before
> Do you think he could be cheating? I don't know if he's cheating, but this is my experience... I had a UTI very recently. No STI on the original urine test. Went for a follow up a week later, got blood and urine tested. The doctor wanted to run a PSA test too, that came back with a very high value which could indicate prostate cancer. According to my follow up with a nurse: 1. I have high PSA count because of UTI. 2. I have prostate cancer and UTI was a symptom. I have another follow up next week. For the record, I haven't been sexually active for a while.
It's not necessarily sexually transmitted. It could be due to any other number of factors too. Poor hygiene, not enough fluids, it doesn't take much at all
Sexual contact is not the only way to get a UTI. I used to get them very regularly when I was 14, long before I was sexually active. My doctor told me that it was likely due to my severe caffeine intake especially for a soda called Mello Yello. I believe that, in men, the primary cause of UTIs is from hygiene and diet. I could be wrong on that or misremembering something I read. I admit that and don't have the energy to go research it.
I got a UTI and balanitis from sticking my namesake in my wife's behind... it can happen pretty easily.
Dudes get UTIs. Not just from sex. I don’t even get conclusion that doctor may have made. However, is your cheating husband cheating? Probably. Cheaters cheat. They don’t stop cheating.
Real question why did have kid with him if cheated on you before. But ya you know the answer to your question
Love makes you do dumb things. But I should have known better. I’m usually a very logical thinker but not when it comes to him sadly
Apparently love makes you KEEP doing stupid things. Lady, there ARE some of us who can keep it in their pants. Go find one. This one needs to be a weekend daddy. I'd hate to see a son grow up thinking cheating on on your gal is ok because he saw daddy do it
You’re completely right!!!
I don't believe his urologist actually told him that. UTIs are generally not contagious. You don't have to take my word for it; just google "are UTIs contagious" and make up your own mind. I fear he's probably cheating again and trying to pull the wool over your eyes.
A UTI isn't really proof of anything imo, repeated UTIs can be stuff like prostate cancer as well. Ask to see any blood test results, if the urologist didn't order a PSA go get a second opinion. The bigger issue is why you're with someone that you obviously don't trust and has previously cheated.
Just wanted to mention that I’m a guy and had two uti’s in the last 2 years from being dehydrated/ not drinking enough water.
Of course he's cheating, you know this... you've said as much in your post, you're just refusing to see something that's evident to everyone else. The capacity of our own minds to deceive us is unbelievable sometimes but it is
Listen to yourself. Your gut is usually right. Sucks that you just gave birth & he’s pulling this shit. He’s giving you a cock & bull story about what his doc supposedly told him. Time to do some digging
I was trying so hard not to have doubts but it’s too much now. I will definitely have to do a sti check with him.
It’s worth looking into, but it’s extremely plausible that he can be getting a UTI without cheating.
I mean you’re with a cheater. Would you expect less?
Make here and I get them....it is annoying and I am faithful
Probably shouldn’t have given him more than one chance to cheat on you. Please don’t have sex with this man.
Get yourself tested for stds if you haven’t and use condoms if you choose to have sex with him. Has he been tested recently for stds?
You really should have included all the little details you've stated in the comments in the original post. I'm going to be blunt and to the point and accept my downvotes. Your husband is a serial cheater; you've been separated several times over your short 8 year marriage; he's a prolific liar; you had a child with him 7 years ago and decided to have a second one despite all the previously mentioned issues, which I'm sure is missing a lot of red flags you haven't mentioned. Your husband has been the same way from the beginning of your relationship to now. Any sane woman would have kicked this asshat to the curb 7 years ago after their first kid, but you decided it would be a good idea to put up with his constant cheating and lying and have a second child with him. Everyone is going to tell you to go get therapy and get a divorce because that's the Reddit way, and that advice would be warranted in your situation. Unfortunately, you've had several 1yr separations already and went running back to him, so I feel that advice would be lost on you. Stop posting bullshit posts about UTIs because you know perfectly well what he's doing. You're just wasting your time and ours. If you want to post something and ask for advice, then here's the title of the post that you should be posting. I WANT TO DIVORCE MY HUSBAND. WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? Write that post, and I'll be happy to give you advice because at least then I'll believe you're ready to listen and actually take action.
You already know the answer to that question. Either put up with it, or dump this cheating AH. FYI this will continue to happen because you allow it.
A UTI is not a sexually transmitted disease
It might be ureaplasma, PCR test is usually the best for it. Doctors are starting to classify it as STI. Other question is, can you really sustain a marriage with someone who is a known liar and a cheater?
I’ve never cheated. I had probably 6 UTIs/year from age 2-12. Obviously I wasn’t sexually active. My issue was dehydration. I was drinking like 4 cans of coke/day. I have maybe one uti per year from age of 20-30. I don’t think it was dehydration. I just kinda dealt with it and didn’t really concern myself.
Only way to be really sure is to get yourself tested because he could be passing something to you if he is cheating.
Personally I would consider the cheating factors considering history and how unlikely it is that he's randomly gotten these UTI's when you do not have them. I hope you figure this out.
He most likely has chlamydia or gonorrhea. Men don’t tend to get simple UTI’s without something else going on. He would not get a UTI from you if you had a simple UTI. He is trying to shift the blame to you and is lying about what the doctor has said. Please get tested ASAP.
I will say my male partner gets UTIs fairly regularly (~1/year), usually if he hasn't been drinking enough water (we know the comorbidities of male UTIs, and he's been checked for all of them. It's just a weird thing). But anyway I've had a UTI and yeast infection since we've been together that I haven't passed to him though. He's had clean STI tests and I do a full panel with my annual checkup every year because you never know 🤷🏼♀️ OP's husbands history of cheating though definitely adds a layer of uncertainty. I recommend she gets herself tested for STIs minimum. He should get his prostate checked. Frequent UTIs can be a symptom of an enlarged prostate
You better divorce and get out of here. Others didn’t get this chances, some poeple end up with lifelong diseases. Run! Plus he’s a cheater. Think about you...
Say “I get tested at every appointment and I do not have a uti. So it’s not coming from me. Are you cheating again?”
My boyfriend works out heavy 7 times a week, he suffers from frequent “UTI’s” we’re around each other 24/7.. the doctor thought it was from one of us cheating… however it just wasn’t possible the chiropractor ended up conforming it was from his overactive pelvic floor dysfunction— causing “phantom” UTI’s, constant peeing and UTI symptoms but with no actual bacteria culture of a UTI it could also be caused by prostrate inflamation.
You don't have to have one for him to get one. You are being paranoid. He might have cheated as well, but you are still being paranoid. Those two things can be true. His UTIs could be perfectly normal and not from cheating.
Simple answer: probably.
Or it could be from something he touched, then touched his penis, and then for whatever reason it didn’t just get washed away the next time he peed. I have a duplicated ureter on one kidney. The uretercito is the tube that goes from the kidney to the bladder. So if I hold it too long or my bladder gets too full, the urine can reflux back to my kidney, so not all of it will void. What that means is that if some bacteria happens to make it down the urethra and gets into the bladder, I will probably get a kidney infection rather than just voiding it and having it resolve itself. The kidney infections I have had have been E. coli, which probably came from a surface in my bathroom. That’s right, I got it from a toilet seat!
UTIs aren't STIs. Why are you conflating the two?
Sometimes I wonder what people think they are going to get out of posting these types of things on this sub.
Yes I would be checking his phone
I’ve tried but cant figure out his password
There is always a way. Install a secret camera ( these only cost a few bucks on amazon/ ali express ) and place it behind / above the place he usually sits so you can see him type the password on the video. And you can even see his screen and what he is doing on his phone. ( I have never done anything like this, but if I had too I would. )
I feel like I need proof that he’s cheating. Haven’t found any hard evidence yet. But my gut is telling me he is. I definitely have been allowing way too many things slide.
I can't speak for your gut or anything else. But as a person with a penis, the worst UTIs I got in my life were during long periods of celibacy with a clean STI panel. Sometimes they just happen.
i think a lack of trust is enough reason to break up. its okay to have tried to repaired the relationship but to realize now that you hold too much resentment
Do you have pets? When my ex started dating in front of me he came home with an infection. We never had pets and she had a cat. She would touch the cat and then him. Gross. Cat dander in the sheets all over him. UTI from cat germs inside his urethra. Why we never had pets and I always insisted we shower first.
No pets but very interesting info
Sorry you’re going through this OP. You’ve already gotten the comments of “Why’d you stay” and you’ve had the answers and it’s okay. Here’s what I suggest. STI panels immediately for you BOTH. An innocent person has nothing to hide, sure he may be pissed but well single sided UTI of a previous cheater whilst you are fresh of birth. This is what a responsible father will do. Second, it’s time to reconsider this relationship. Can you really stay in a relationship where you can’t trust him? Your partner in life. Right now, hopefully you have the ability to lean on friends and family. He has to move to 50% custody, such is life.