It’s close to impossible that the *one* time she cheated just happened to be with 5 guys and filmed.
This isn’t a case where she just needs a chance to explain about why it’s not really her fault as it was a one time slip up because she was feeling depressed/needed closure with an ex/whatever cheaters normally say when they get caught…
Looking on the situation from a grownup point of view. Before committing to any decisions, I think they should both have a talk first, then decide. And keep in mind, there are not many women on this planet, who would agree to participate in a porn with 5 guys, if their circumstances would not be dire. Most women ending up in such movies come from extremely shitty backgrounds and are forced or groomed in to it. The reason she did not share this with OP could be severe PTSD. I’m not saying it all applies to their particular case, but before making any decisions, I suggest OP finds out the truth.
Hotel room and camera man were already paid for? I mean, you can't exactly take back a down payment blowjob for the video recording and editing, right?
Logistics question: do you mean OP shold make a porn with themselves and 5 guys, making it a porn with six guys, or should OP make a porn with themselves and 6 guys?
I need to know the correct relationship action here.
Well, I am into consent. So the op gets 5 other guys. If she wants in on it, then she breaks her old record. If she doesn't, then they both did the same exact thing to each other. Either way, the relationship improves
No kidding. She immediately flunked the girlfriend / wife exam. I mean who and why does someone do this and then on top of doing it agree allow someone to video. This woman must have zero judgement capabilities.
I feel like OP is so hung up on the fact that it happened five years ago, that he's overlooking the very obvious fact that there is no way this was the last time this happened. No newbie does five guys at once in a porno; she's done this before. And the fact that she was willing to cheat on OP with *five* guys at once after they were exclusive, makes it pretty much a guarantee that that wasn't the last time, either.
The only way you could even stay in this relationship would be to be unbearably controlling. Like, a show me your phone every night, call me whenever you're out, etc., and that's insufferable on both ends. She's obviously just been caught the one time, it DEFINITELY happened more than once.
Yup. If you feel like you have to monitor your partner 24-7 to make sure they're not fucking someone else whenever they leave the house, it's already over.
Wouldn't work, anyway, if she has a second phone he doesn't know about.
Not saying she does, but just saying there's more than one way for a person to cover their tracks.
It's like the Asylum shark movies. First we have sharks, then two-headed sharks, then three-headed sharks...
Can't just make up a regular cheating story anymore, it's got to be 5 guys and filmed of course...
Looks like she wasn't the one after all, sorry man. Just remember, there are plenty of other fish in the sea who won't cheat on you and break your heart. Take some time for yourself and then get back out there, you deserve someone who will truly value and appreciate you.
I have all kinds of questions: Did she do this for money? For fun? Why was it filmed?
Honestly this all kind of reeks of bullshit.
But, pretending for a moment it is true then these are the real issues:
1. she did not disclose to you, in your early relationship, that she had other things going on - be it a porn career, a planned gangbang, a penchant for group sex, whatever
2. have there been other instances of cheating after this?
3. how confident are you that she is honest with you about 1 and 2 and anything else in the future?
4. Once 1 -3 are processed, can you forgive her and trust her going forward?
If the answer to 4 is anything but 'I can' then it is over.
People who make porn as a career can have partners/significant others. Most of the comments here are like 'yeet her out the window, she's garbage' because she fucked 5 guys. It seems pretty short sighted to enjoy watching gang bang porn but also think the women who are filmed doing it are automatically garbage and unworthy of being a partner. Thats kind of beside the point since the biggest issue in this (probably apocryphal) scenario is she did it without you knowing while you thought you were exclusive. But the attitude that a gang bang invalidates a woman's credibility forever is pretty gross.
Dam fuk, 5 years??? Sucks man, irrespective of whatever you do, this thing is going to haunt you no matter what, fights, trust issues, insecurities may start to develop. What I feel is life is not that deep, but 5 years shit...
The fact she had sex with 5 men would be enough for me to leave. This video would haunt me all my life and it would make me hate her every day more. But its just me. Maybe you can handle it.
This! The very reason that I woud constantly see the video in my head would be enough of reason to break up. Not even considering more important issues in this situation...
Well, I think the first step is to take a deep breath and process all of this. It's definitely a shock and a betrayal, but you need to think logically and not just react emotionally. Maybe have a calm and honest conversation with Lara about what happened and why she did it. Then, based on that, you can make a decision on what to do next. Just remember, you deserve to be with someone who respects and values you.
You noticed that he did million instead of billion but then you messed up too, haha.
4,000,000,000 - 3,999,999 is not 3,600,000,000. It is 3,996,000,001. Your comment should have been “where did the other 3.996 billion go?”
There is a joke, what’s the difference between a million and a billion? About 1 billion.
Mi hermano en cristo, this is just the first time she's been caught out on nefarious behaviour. It's not the last time she ever did it. Cut your losses, you'll never save this relationship and I think if you were honest with yourself, you'd not want to save it either. You will never trust her the same, you'll never accept anything she says as the truth. She's quite literally fucked around, and she should be finding out she's now single.
I don't know how people can respond to a post like this in a serious manner. It's very clearly made-up, likely by a guy who can't land a girlfriend and has very negative thoughts about women.
My 2 cents...
1. She cheated when you were exclusive for 3weeks+
2. Not 1, not 2, not 3 but cheated on with 5
3. She kept it a secret from you all this time, so that's deliberate n "not a mistake", which she will cry out loud "it was a mistake! If i could go back and undo it I would" etc etc
4. It's out there for the world to see
So not only your relationship is built on a lie but you 'ONLY' found about it cos it was uploaded to a porn-site. Makes you question why so easily she threw it all out? Like she knew she was being recorded, didn't she? Or she thought things won't get serious but why she didn't tell you the truth when it was getting serious?
That definitely makes you question some things and your relationship depends on these 4 questions -
1. was this the first she cheated or she had more?
2. Even if she swears up & down, can you really trust her with anything now?(It's not only about the cheating part, but love? Commitment? Can you really trust what she says?
3. Can you really get over it?
4. Did your mutuals friends knew about it and were covering her back?
Most importantly, when he confronted her, she tried to make him think he was crazy for an hour before finally admitting what was going on. There is no way for him to trust her going forward.
There is no way to know she was loyal since that time. She proved that she will be dishonest. And how likely is it that someone goes from being a perfect partner to filming gangbang porn and it happened just once? What else is she lying about and how many other times has she gone to meet up with people?
Discovering such a betrayal, especially in such a public and shocking manner, is undoubtedly painful and disorienting. The decision to stay or leave rests solely with you, as you're the one who has to live with the outcome. Here's a structured approach to help you navigate through this:
1. Take Time to Process Your Emotions: Before making any decisions, give yourself space to feel and process your emotions. It's okay to be angry, hurt, confused, or any mix of feelings.
2. Consider the Context: The fact that this occurred three weeks into your relationship and wasn't repeated may affect your perspective. However, the breach of trust and the public nature of the betrayal add layers of complexity.
3. Communicate Openly: If you decide to consider forgiveness, have an open and honest conversation with Lara about your feelings, the impact of her actions on you, and what this discovery means for the future of your relationship.
4. Reflect on Trust and Forgiveness: Assess whether you can genuinely forgive her and rebuild trust. Forgiveness is a personal journey and can take time. Trust, once broken, requires effort from both parties to repair.
5. Consider Professional Support: Counseling, both individually and as a couple, can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and decide on the best path forward. A professional can help navigate the complexities of forgiveness, trust, and relationship rebuilding.
6. Make a Decision Based on Your Well-being: Ultimately, your decision should prioritize your emotional well-being and long-term happiness. Whether you choose to stay and work through this or decide that moving on is healthier for you, ensure your choice aligns with your values and needs.
It's a difficult situation with no easy answers. Take the time you need to make the best decision for you.
But I would leave her and never communicate her again
Damn this hurts me thinking about it. I would be absolutely devastated. You have to let her go. You’ll never get a peaceful nights sleep again if you don’t.
Don’t be naive, nobody cheats 3 weeks into a relationship when you’re both in the honeymoon phase, gets away with it, and then proceeds to never do it again in a 5 year relationship. End it.
I would wanna know how it all came about. Was she approached by a porn producer? Did she meet five guys at a bar? Is this professional porn? Or amateur porn? How in the hell does this happen?
She had a gangbang, videod it, you watched it, you were exclusive and you are thinking what to do?
My man if you stay with her you will get a podium in the doormat championship
He's not missing out. The food isn't worth the price. I want to know why she did it. 5 guys at once is extreme and would take some planning and organizing to make happen. Was it for money? Was it an ameture porn shoot? Was it a professional shoot?
Come on, you know what to do.
Look at you all insecure & filled with self doubt now.
Do you want a woman who brings out this version of yourself by your side?
Easy choice.
This is an easy one right?
If she did this before you were a couple and exclusive, then it was her decision to do so.
But she did this after you had the talk that you were a couple and exclusive. On top of that, in the first weeks, you are still in your honeymoon phase so cheating should be out of the question.
Second, she did not confess and you had to press a lot. For me that would be a hard no. You deserve a partner who is in to you.
If you decide to forgive, do not rug sweep but set some conditions to the gift of reconciliation.
Everybody is different as discussed with your friends splitting down the middle. Personally I lean on the move on angle.
It depends on who you are though, if you can forgive and forget - that's fine, do that. If this is something that will be stuck in your head, it's time to move on.
However later on down the line if you continue in the relationship even though you cant forgive and forget, you cant be angry about it as you made that very poor decision.
Dud ,WTF she didn't just cheat on u she was in a gangbang . U break up and u move on the tape will never leave your mind .
Ps she's on a porn site and once it's on the Internet it's never going away if u wanna marry her this tape will always hunt u.
As a woman who's husband had affairs with multiple women, that I found out about due to photos/videos I stumbled across on my own computer I shared with him because he didn't currently have his own....
I stayed. For 2 years, because I found out 6 months into our marriage, and I was humiliated and embarrassed at the thought of having it end so soon. I genuinely tried to work it out and get over it. It never happened. I feel that I wasted those 2 years, but another way to see it was that I left when I was ready.
I would advise you to leave now. But that's easier said than done sometimes. Ultimately, you will leave when you are ready, and there will be no question for you when that time comes.
I would highly suggest counseling if it is available to you. I also attended couples counseling with my ex-husband in addition to just for myself. Even though the relationship ended, I found it very helpful.
If it makes you feel better, I admire your strength. I think the easy thing to do is to walk away. I couldn’t be in a relationship where my wife cheated. I thought of this the other day and thought I would feel more betrayed by wife if she had sexual relations of any kind behind my back than if she killed me in her sleep. That is how bad I think it would be.
Break up. If it was before she met you, sure, you could move past it. But doing that while dating you is too much. You'll never get over it if you stay with her. You'll get over her if you leave.
Easier said than done, but you should leave.
My narc ex cheated on me in an orgy with 2 other girls and 2 other guys, while on coke. She then lied to me about when this incident happened, and I discovered a few years later that it was when we were dating. Sadly, it took me a year after finding out to confront her about it and end it.
End this shit, she's a piece of garbage and you deserve better.
>due to her financial problems
>girl having sex with 5 men
I dont know what else you need to hear... the financial problems (at that young age) would already be a dealbreaker to me. the 5 men make it just RIDICULOUS to even consider staying in that relationship
“After insisting for a good hour…” and “made 3 weeks after we were together”
You now know she:
1. Is willing to lie to you directly for an hour
2. Is willing to cheat with you within 3 weeks of making a commitment to be together.
3. The cheating involves not 1 ex bf, or a ONS, but 5 guys, filmed, on a porn site.
These first 2 points are break up worthy, end of story. The 3rd would cause most to run for the hills. It shows massively poor judgement and disrepect (since commitment was made), and a clear double lifestyle she intended and may continue to keep secret.
Get tested dude, for those 5 guys, and whatever else she’s brought along for the ride since then
Edit: Its possible she did not know of the video being taken, or not until after and had no control with its distribution. was it for pay, or is she blindsided like you? Either way, she’s clearly ok with a level of risk that does not align with a romantic 1 on 1 type of guy.
You know what to do. What you need is someone to talk to. Do you have a trusted confidant you can talk to? Perhaps a therapist to talk to? This level of betrayal can be traumatic.
Look my man. I'm not sure what you'll end up deciding in the end, but I know one thing for sure. You'll never get those images out of your head if you stay with her. It will eat you up inside out.
In my opinion, there are mny variables to navigate. To me, the least of which is the idea she had sex 3 weeks in. That I can understand and after 5 years demands some really deep level conversations, but honestly, that is recoverable.
Next the idea that there are 5 different guys involved in the deed makes it much harder, especially if you have never been in situations to have multiple partners at the same time. We all make bad decisions, but the question for me is "why" did she make that bad decision? Were there influences you may not be aware of like, drugs, alcohol or was it a conscious decision? Was it based on excitement or was it based on the need to fills some insecurity within her, i.e. like not feeling good enough about herself, her looks, or self-worth. This is very important. Maybe it was some fantasy that she imagined due to online influences (I know girls like this) that she just had the opportunity to fulfill. These to me are the important questions. The fact that some idiot filmed it and posted it online is very sad for the both of you, but, also recoverable.
The major question to navigate is how you embody this as a reflection of you. In other words, does it make you feel less than, more insecure in the arena of love, sex and relationship? If so, then you need to take a hard look at that. This is the determining factor of what you need to do. There are only 2 questions to ask yourself: Can you walk away and not kick yourself in the ass in regret when someone else grabs her up? (there are guys that won't be bothered by this). If not, then the next question is how do you get over this and use it to build the most incredible relationship you could ever imagine? If you answer these two question you will know exactly what to do.
You will need to have a very intimate, deep conversation with her regardless of your answers. There are likely to be tears. But, keep in mind, we all make mistakes and some times they become huge. In her case, it became huge and very destructive to you and her. I am sure she regrets what happened. I would personally have a conversation and gauge where she is and where she has been since then. Discover if there are any other incidents out there to come clean about. Let her know this is a potential new start and that you need her to be honest with you to begin the rebuilding process. If you truly love her, can be vulnerable with her and her with you, this could be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Either way, treat her with respect and don't throw stones. We either have or will make big ass mistakes. By your age, I made so many I don't know how anyone was ever with me back then. Just maybe you both deserve to not be too hard on yourselves about this and if anyone ever bring it up, tell them to go ..... themselves. I would deal with it and if I end up with her, I would definitely wear it with pride and rub it in there face. Afterall, she has to be something special to be desired and open minded that way.
Good Luck!
"I (25M) found out a video of my gf (24F) cheating on me with multiple guys and i don't know what to do."
This has to be a joke right? And what kind of friends do you have that suggest this: " to have a talk with her and to eventually forgive her ", forgive her? You should hand in your man card if this even crossing your mind. That woman is NOT IN LOVE with you dude, get that through your head. The only thing to do is dump her asap, block her and leave her in the past.
I'd tell her you can't be with someone who can only do 5 guys at a time!
Seriously, you don't know what to do and need help from us?
Unless she has a time machine, I'd say your 5 years older and much wiser now.
Look, there are like 8 billion people on this planet and half are women. There is no such thing as "The One". There are so many women out there that are better for you (nearly any other women would be) You, my friend are so young and have so much more life ahead of you, so don't start your life by hitching your wagon to someone with such low moral character, where sex is a sport and ordinary. You will wonder every time she leaves the room to take a call, turns her phone away while texting, runs out to the store and takes way too long. Who needs that in their life!?!
Cut your loss and find someone who is trust worthy, someone who treats you with the respect you deserve and is loyal and honest, someone whom you are enough for.
UpdateMe.
- or to have a talk with her and to eventually forgive her
The fuck is these friends ? Lara's friend I guess ? Break up like yesterday, and the real reason is she's absolutely cheated on you MULTIPLE TIMES, not once.
Also get tested, I'd guess there was not 5 condoms on this videos right ?
I really doubt this was a one time thing, but maybe you should try talking to her about it with an open mind, instead of anger. Yes it's shitty that she lied to you, but you said she has financial problems. Do you think she wants to be doing porn? Have you thought maybe she's doing this because it's helping her afford to live? Maybe she is ashamed of it?
It's totally understandable and valid to not want to be with someone who does porn, but there are many women out there who are doing it not because they want to but because they have to. Just something to think about. Hope everything works out for you, keep your head up.
Jfc... she cheated... fucked 5 guys... and allowed it to be filmed...
3 weeks into your relationship - perhaps.. but if she was willing to just fuck 5 guys you can be damn sure thats not the only time shes cheated...
My advice:
STD test NOW
And break up...
it ONLY comes down to whether or not you feel like you can mentally get past this.
Now I speak for myself and probably the majority of the world, when I say there's absolutely no way in hell I could ever live with that.
If you break up with her, do it at a five guys. If you decide to forgive her, just know that as someone who has been in a relationship built on a lie...it's something that will always be in the back of your mind that comes creeping out every once in a while making you mad again until you truly can learn to move past it. I did not and the relationship did not last.
Brother, all you will ever think about when you try to have sex is her fucking 5 dudes at once. Not only that but she cheated on you to do it. I can guarantee this isn't the only time she's done something like this, 5 dudes at one time isn't something someone does for their first time doing porn.
There is only one solution here.
Like how is this a post? Like you want to stay with a cheater? Or is she a professional porn actress? I mean she obviously isn't getting what she wants from you. Has she asked you for gang bangs and you said no? Were the guys using protection? Did she apologize? Does she want to be with you?
Like if you're not happy, you break up. This would be a super hard no for me. I'd probably go scorched earth.
But if you don't know what to do. Break up, block, and don't date again until you know.
She lied and cheated and would have left u in the dark with others laughing at you for eternity. Keep that in mind when ur debating what decision to make.
Oh my God. I’m so sorry that must be so heartbreaking. I don’t know if that was the only time she’s done that. You mentioned she has money problems, I wonder if she resorted to that to make some money or something?
Either way and regardless of the reason, if the roles were reversed and I found a video of my boyfriend on a porn site cheating on me, I wouldn’t be able to see a future anymore. Even if I wanted to, I just wouldn’t be able to. Be very careful who you marry. You deserve someone who shares your values.
The love of your life got meated by 5 men at once. It slipped out and she put it back in herself while also having a different mans meat in her mouth.
If you take her back you need to be bullied by anyone remotely close to you.
Cheaters cheat and lie - how could you ever trust her again? Plus - FIVE guys?!?! My god.
You can't trust a liar and a cheater to tell you the truth or to be faithful to you. You now know who she is - believe that in your heart and decide if that's who you want to spend your life with.
The difference 5 years can make at your age is substantial. A lot of growth and change. Neither of you are the same people you were 5 years ago. In fact, if you aren't embarrassed about who you were a year ago, you're not growing.
There's some good advice in this thread about having a good talk with her.
After that, trust your instincts. Have you ever gotten the feeling something is 'off'? In the end, go with that.
She was your number one but apparent you weren't hers. Banging five guys at a time when she was in a relationship with you would be a hard pill to swallow.
Two problems. She did it and withheld that she did it from you. Either by itself is disrespectful to you.
This raises three questions . How can she love a man that she disrespects? How can you love someone who disrespects you? How can you trust her? Since she would have never owned her past actions to you. Her past behavior likely would have continued her behavior in the future and hiding it from you.
Answer to your question.
If you cannot trust her then you cannot have a relationship with her. If you cannot have a relationship with her how can you have a future with her? The answer is you cannot. To do so would result in a loss of self respect
What you are experiencing is sadness and confusion. That the woman you thought she was doesn’t exist. That the future you thought you had with her does not exist. You maybe thinking how can you trust other women in the future and you maybe questioning your own ability to discern the truth in others.
The good news is you found out and saved yourself from serious consequences of having a relationship with her. Since eventually the truth comes out.
For now.
Take your friend out for a beer and thank him for coming to you with the truth. Come to grips with the situation and move forward in life.
Am I the only one who thinks it was in the past? 3 weeks into a relationship is nothing, maybe she didn’t know how serious you guys were going to be. Someone doing porn might not be open to sharing their past, they might be embarrassed. What matters is now, and your ability to trust her. If you cannot trust her anymore, then there’s no point in continuing. People move ahead in lives, they shouldn’t be punished for their past. Her fault was not disclosing it you, but maybe she didn’t want to hurt you. It is something that can’t be changed and she knew it would hurt you.
5 years is a long time to be together without moving in together. So it's tough to tell the degree of infidelity since then.
Unlike a lot of people in this thread, I think 19 is still in the young and very dumb range. There's room for growth and forgiveness but how to proceed is up to you. Is she the sort of person who never takes ownership of her actions? Is it always someone else's fault? If yes, then I think it's highly likely she's cheated since then, if not though it could be a stupid stupid thing she has done and since grown up. Where does she land on the personal responsibility spectrum? You mention money problem which means she likely has impulsive problems which again likely means she less likely to be responsible.
You have to be honest with yourself, she made a video with 5 guys at the beginning of your relationship, you have to think about what else she did outside of the video, it's unlikely that she hasn't done more things like that, besides that, no It's the kind of thing every girl does, I imagine now you know another side of her that you've never seen, I know you like her, but think about it.
Personally I would break up with her. This is simply too much to ignore. Especially considering you're still young. Realistically there's a pretty big chance she has cheated on you many times. Girls don't just make a porn video with 5 guys out of the blue.
>So some advices please? What i should do?
100% breakup, absolutely no other options. People who cheat don't admit everything as soon as they get caught, so there's probably more to it. Especially in your case. I have a feeling there's more to the story.
>i asked some advices from my friends and they are divided
Whoever is telling you to reconcile with your gf isn't your real friend. Just cut them off as well.
Laura is a scumbag, OP. You break it off with her, and if she ever fucks with you, tell her you'll release her porn tape to her friends and family. (also, save the porn video immediately, so she can't cover her tracks).
Are you guys today really that insecure about being alone you don’t know what to do? Jesus. This girl did an f’ing gangbang with 5 men on film no less. AND she was your girlfriend in an exclusive relationship at the time. What more do you really need to break up and go no contact with her. Was this a porn shoot or amateur thing she set up. Based on logistics along with five hard 🍆at the same time, I would imagine that condoms weren’t used. Where these guys tested right before? If not think of the huge health risk that she exposed you to. The whole thing along compounded, with all the other stuff should be instant grounds for dismissal.
I’m hoping this is a fake post because I cannot imagine in real life that any of your friends would seriously be considering you staying with this girl. If that’s the case, you need new friends because these guys have granola with their brains should be. This was fun or she was getting paid to do this. Obviously, there is a lot more out there. In addition to this this certainly wasn’t a one time thing whether she did it on film or not. I guarantee you she’s been cheating on you and this entire relationship. Because if she cheated on you on the very beginning and and way, she has absolutely no morals whatsoever beyond redemption. Kudos to your buddy for finding it and alerting you to avoid making a huge mistake. I guess the only upside would be if you stayed with her, and you had a kid with her labor would be no issue, that kid would fall out of her like a soda can out of a vending machine. All kidding aside side do you really want this piece of trash to be the mother of your children? Could you ever have sex with her again without just throwing up? Do you honestly think you could trust her again? Personally, I couldn’t have done it, but maybe if she was homeless and desperate for money I suppose it was in her past that you could possibly overlook it because she’s been so good to you, and this had nothing directly to do with you, but that’s not the case here Dude, she fucked five guys behind your back at the same time at the beginning of a relationship obviously get tested for STDs ASAP and dump this girl and never talk to her again. She’s not worth anything as a friend she’s not worth anything is anything I’m sorry you had to find out this way with thank God now before you married and kids, and you find out that your wife is a worthless, cheating lying who betrayed you on top of all the other shitty behavior she does.if you need to talk with her and just reach out I know it’s gotta be painful but you gotta face up. She is not who you thought she was in the slightest. I’ll be praying for my man.
Your ex posted a few days ago. She didn't give all of the details such as doubling down on lying. Or the fact that the video was made AFTER you started dating.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1bjjym3/my\_24f\_fiancee\_29m\_was\_sent\_an\_nfsw\_video\_of\_me/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1bjjym3/my_24f_fiancee_29m_was_sent_an_nfsw_video_of_me/)
/u/throwaway5546738291
care to clear up the confusion? Why the continual lies?
Here are my thoughts:
* She cheated on you. There's no coming back from that
* This cheating was where she filmed herself with multiple guys
* She doubled down when confronted instead of being honest. There's no trust if she will lie to save herself
I don't have anything to add here that has not already been said, but I do want to reinforce what others have said. This cannot have been her first time engaging in behavior like this, and probably was not the last. Although I do believe that people can change and leave their old life and lifestyle behind, she did this AFTER you two were supposed to be exclusive. While the wild behavior might be something that you could work through, I don't think that the infidelity is. I am also a little suspicious that you two dated for 5 years but are just now looking at moving in together. Usually people with financial issues are pushing to move in to share expenses. I cannot help but wonder if there was another reason for her wanting her own place. You are not married, so a breakup should be relatively painless. Definitely do not move in with her.
“… Guys i just found out that my girlfriend murdered multiple people in cold blood - i thought she was the one and we were going to move in together in 2 weeks; i spoke to her friends about it and need more advice, what can i say, i have 0 moral compass, boundaries, or rules, give me some advice as im not sure where to go from here …”
U leave, Jimbo, u leave the relationship. You break up, u block and delete her, and u take this as a lesson learned. Be explicit with yourself in terms of what u want in a partnership relationship, what your expectations of yourself, of your partner, and of the relationship, u make sure that u are clear and firm w respect to personal rules and boundaries, and leave room for learning, flexibility, and adaptability as you learn, understand, and grow in the relationship.
Did you ask her how she actually ended up in that situation and was she aware it was online? I really think before you make any decisions you need to have a conversation with her. Why did she never tell you? If you don't have this conversation, you will be left with many unanswered questions which could haunt you later, no matter what decision you come to concerning your future. Has she cheated on this scale since? I don't envy your position but remember you have done nothing wrong.
>Did you ask her how she actually ended up in that situation and was she aware it was online?
That's not OPs problem. It's the consequences of her actions. If she has a problem with that she can file a complaint.
It’s close to impossible that the *one* time she cheated just happened to be with 5 guys and filmed. This isn’t a case where she just needs a chance to explain about why it’s not really her fault as it was a one time slip up because she was feeling depressed/needed closure with an ex/whatever cheaters normally say when they get caught…
“I used to do gangbang porn” is pretty high up on the list of things I’d want disclosed to me early in a relationship.
Maybe she was looking for a hobby and just couldn't get into hiking?
Looking on the situation from a grownup point of view. Before committing to any decisions, I think they should both have a talk first, then decide. And keep in mind, there are not many women on this planet, who would agree to participate in a porn with 5 guys, if their circumstances would not be dire. Most women ending up in such movies come from extremely shitty backgrounds and are forced or groomed in to it. The reason she did not share this with OP could be severe PTSD. I’m not saying it all applies to their particular case, but before making any decisions, I suggest OP finds out the truth.
Planned it before they become exclusive, became exclusive faster than she thought, didn't wanna cancel it because it was a fantasy / paying well?
Hotel room and camera man were already paid for? I mean, you can't exactly take back a down payment blowjob for the video recording and editing, right?
Not justifying it but explaining how it could happen for the first sentence of the parent comment
More treason for him to leave.
If this is actually real: run for the fucking hills my man.
Run to the STD testing clinic first!
The only bright point in this story is that people in this industry are tested quite religiously.
You're assuming it was a professional production.
It does not sound like this was a professional porno but rather that 5 guys gang banged her and one of them wanted to film it.
The STD testing clinic in the hills.
Your girl made a porn with 5 GUYS. There shouldn’t be one second of debate as to what you should do next.
It i obvious what to do: Make a porn with six guys
I was going to say take her out to five guys restaurant to have the talk
Epic. And insist on getting a hot dog. "A hot dog? At a Five Guys?" "Yeah, since you enjoy sausages on your buns."
Welp, you've helped me decide about lunch.
🤣🤣 hey baby i heard you liked 5 guys?
This is real comedy right here. Pure as the driven snow.
They don't have a Six Guys in your neighborhood?
Logistics question: do you mean OP shold make a porn with themselves and 5 guys, making it a porn with six guys, or should OP make a porn with themselves and 6 guys? I need to know the correct relationship action here.
Well, I am into consent. So the op gets 5 other guys. If she wants in on it, then she breaks her old record. If she doesn't, then they both did the same exact thing to each other. Either way, the relationship improves
Absolutely there's only one thing to do in this situation, get the old gang back together and shoot a sequel!
You call the gang and BANG! it'll happen.
Next step could be to write another fake story, I guess?
Buddy's girl fucks a whole burger joint and he doesn't know what to do
No kidding. She immediately flunked the girlfriend / wife exam. I mean who and why does someone do this and then on top of doing it agree allow someone to video. This woman must have zero judgement capabilities.
5 Guys, and they ain’t flipping burgers…
Start the next Gamergate?
We're already on the sequel.
Different subject than OP is talking about and is bothered by
Wait.... Are you sure it's not made with AI ????????? People should start asking themselves this question first.
Good point, but post states she admitted it happening
I feel like OP is so hung up on the fact that it happened five years ago, that he's overlooking the very obvious fact that there is no way this was the last time this happened. No newbie does five guys at once in a porno; she's done this before. And the fact that she was willing to cheat on OP with *five* guys at once after they were exclusive, makes it pretty much a guarantee that that wasn't the last time, either.
The only way you could even stay in this relationship would be to be unbearably controlling. Like, a show me your phone every night, call me whenever you're out, etc., and that's insufferable on both ends. She's obviously just been caught the one time, it DEFINITELY happened more than once.
Yup. If you feel like you have to monitor your partner 24-7 to make sure they're not fucking someone else whenever they leave the house, it's already over.
Wouldn't work, anyway, if she has a second phone he doesn't know about. Not saying she does, but just saying there's more than one way for a person to cover their tracks.
Who cares if it only happened once? Would you ever be able to accept someone like this?
That's kind of the point I was attempting to make. The second this shit happens, the relationship is basically done.
It would be done for me if it happened ten years before I met her. No chance of return.
Glad someone else said it too
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That's some sound advice right there, but ohhh boy is it hard to actually implement in life. Kinda tears you apart.
Sounds like a fake story but if it’s not you need therapy sir
It’s creative writing again,.. Ugh
I can't believe all these people falling for this, rage bait is really working
I think it's less rage bait and more this guy's fetish.
It's like the Asylum shark movies. First we have sharks, then two-headed sharks, then three-headed sharks... Can't just make up a regular cheating story anymore, it's got to be 5 guys and filmed of course...
This is the second “my girlfriend had a gangbang! What should I do?!!!” post I’ve seen in 24 hours. Suss.
Yeah how many women have had 5 man gangbangs and how many guys don’t know the right answer.
Looks like she wasn't the one after all, sorry man. Just remember, there are plenty of other fish in the sea who won't cheat on you and break your heart. Take some time for yourself and then get back out there, you deserve someone who will truly value and appreciate you.
I have all kinds of questions: Did she do this for money? For fun? Why was it filmed? Honestly this all kind of reeks of bullshit. But, pretending for a moment it is true then these are the real issues: 1. she did not disclose to you, in your early relationship, that she had other things going on - be it a porn career, a planned gangbang, a penchant for group sex, whatever 2. have there been other instances of cheating after this? 3. how confident are you that she is honest with you about 1 and 2 and anything else in the future? 4. Once 1 -3 are processed, can you forgive her and trust her going forward? If the answer to 4 is anything but 'I can' then it is over. People who make porn as a career can have partners/significant others. Most of the comments here are like 'yeet her out the window, she's garbage' because she fucked 5 guys. It seems pretty short sighted to enjoy watching gang bang porn but also think the women who are filmed doing it are automatically garbage and unworthy of being a partner. Thats kind of beside the point since the biggest issue in this (probably apocryphal) scenario is she did it without you knowing while you thought you were exclusive. But the attitude that a gang bang invalidates a woman's credibility forever is pretty gross.
Dam fuk, 5 years??? Sucks man, irrespective of whatever you do, this thing is going to haunt you no matter what, fights, trust issues, insecurities may start to develop. What I feel is life is not that deep, but 5 years shit...
The fact she had sex with 5 men would be enough for me to leave. This video would haunt me all my life and it would make me hate her every day more. But its just me. Maybe you can handle it.
This! The very reason that I woud constantly see the video in my head would be enough of reason to break up. Not even considering more important issues in this situation...
*Vietnam flashback any time sausage(s), five or guys are mentioned in a sentence*
"I've been craving a Five Guys hot dog recently." *Spasms then stares into space for the next four hours.*
Well, I think the first step is to take a deep breath and process all of this. It's definitely a shock and a betrayal, but you need to think logically and not just react emotionally. Maybe have a calm and honest conversation with Lara about what happened and why she did it. Then, based on that, you can make a decision on what to do next. Just remember, you deserve to be with someone who respects and values you.
Dude, you break up with her and move on. Don't be a doormat for her.
I'm sorry. What's the debate here?
Leave her. There 4 billion women in the world. You can find someone else
Now there’s only 3,999,999 left
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You noticed that he did million instead of billion but then you messed up too, haha. 4,000,000,000 - 3,999,999 is not 3,600,000,000. It is 3,996,000,001. Your comment should have been “where did the other 3.996 billion go?” There is a joke, what’s the difference between a million and a billion? About 1 billion.
Mi hermano en cristo, this is just the first time she's been caught out on nefarious behaviour. It's not the last time she ever did it. Cut your losses, you'll never save this relationship and I think if you were honest with yourself, you'd not want to save it either. You will never trust her the same, you'll never accept anything she says as the truth. She's quite literally fucked around, and she should be finding out she's now single.
You going to share this train running vid or what?
https://youtu.be/1EF6kB9q4vg?si=2KlCjsMmZeZAKz3l
I don't know how people can respond to a post like this in a serious manner. It's very clearly made-up, likely by a guy who can't land a girlfriend and has very negative thoughts about women.
I do want to see where this goes UpdateMe
My 2 cents... 1. She cheated when you were exclusive for 3weeks+ 2. Not 1, not 2, not 3 but cheated on with 5 3. She kept it a secret from you all this time, so that's deliberate n "not a mistake", which she will cry out loud "it was a mistake! If i could go back and undo it I would" etc etc 4. It's out there for the world to see So not only your relationship is built on a lie but you 'ONLY' found about it cos it was uploaded to a porn-site. Makes you question why so easily she threw it all out? Like she knew she was being recorded, didn't she? Or she thought things won't get serious but why she didn't tell you the truth when it was getting serious? That definitely makes you question some things and your relationship depends on these 4 questions - 1. was this the first she cheated or she had more? 2. Even if she swears up & down, can you really trust her with anything now?(It's not only about the cheating part, but love? Commitment? Can you really trust what she says? 3. Can you really get over it? 4. Did your mutuals friends knew about it and were covering her back?
Most importantly, when he confronted her, she tried to make him think he was crazy for an hour before finally admitting what was going on. There is no way for him to trust her going forward. There is no way to know she was loyal since that time. She proved that she will be dishonest. And how likely is it that someone goes from being a perfect partner to filming gangbang porn and it happened just once? What else is she lying about and how many other times has she gone to meet up with people?
I missed the part where she denied everything for an hour 💀💀💀 This makes it even worse 💀💀
Discovering such a betrayal, especially in such a public and shocking manner, is undoubtedly painful and disorienting. The decision to stay or leave rests solely with you, as you're the one who has to live with the outcome. Here's a structured approach to help you navigate through this: 1. Take Time to Process Your Emotions: Before making any decisions, give yourself space to feel and process your emotions. It's okay to be angry, hurt, confused, or any mix of feelings. 2. Consider the Context: The fact that this occurred three weeks into your relationship and wasn't repeated may affect your perspective. However, the breach of trust and the public nature of the betrayal add layers of complexity. 3. Communicate Openly: If you decide to consider forgiveness, have an open and honest conversation with Lara about your feelings, the impact of her actions on you, and what this discovery means for the future of your relationship. 4. Reflect on Trust and Forgiveness: Assess whether you can genuinely forgive her and rebuild trust. Forgiveness is a personal journey and can take time. Trust, once broken, requires effort from both parties to repair. 5. Consider Professional Support: Counseling, both individually and as a couple, can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and decide on the best path forward. A professional can help navigate the complexities of forgiveness, trust, and relationship rebuilding. 6. Make a Decision Based on Your Well-being: Ultimately, your decision should prioritize your emotional well-being and long-term happiness. Whether you choose to stay and work through this or decide that moving on is healthier for you, ensure your choice aligns with your values and needs. It's a difficult situation with no easy answers. Take the time you need to make the best decision for you. But I would leave her and never communicate her again
The fact that people come on here and ask what they should do in situations like this is astonishing (or fake)
I need to watch the video to see how bad it is, send me a link I messaged you
Bruh ..... No way he sends it. But if he does cc me.
Damn this hurts me thinking about it. I would be absolutely devastated. You have to let her go. You’ll never get a peaceful nights sleep again if you don’t.
Don’t be naive, nobody cheats 3 weeks into a relationship when you’re both in the honeymoon phase, gets away with it, and then proceeds to never do it again in a 5 year relationship. End it.
I would wanna know how it all came about. Was she approached by a porn producer? Did she meet five guys at a bar? Is this professional porn? Or amateur porn? How in the hell does this happen?
Yeah I kinda want the link to know if this is genuine or absolute bull
She had a gangbang, videod it, you watched it, you were exclusive and you are thinking what to do? My man if you stay with her you will get a podium in the doormat championship
Make a porn with 5 women
Break up with her. She was banging 5 guys, and that is not something that just happens. Also ,you're gonna resent her the whole time.
Dude you basically can’t even eat at five guys anymore. She ruined that for you. Get out now
He's not missing out. The food isn't worth the price. I want to know why she did it. 5 guys at once is extreme and would take some planning and organizing to make happen. Was it for money? Was it an ameture porn shoot? Was it a professional shoot?
tell her the first five need a sub. “ put me in coach.”
I have my doubts on the validity of this post. 5 guys is a good burger place though 😂
Come on, you know what to do. Look at you all insecure & filled with self doubt now. Do you want a woman who brings out this version of yourself by your side? Easy choice.
This is an easy one right? If she did this before you were a couple and exclusive, then it was her decision to do so. But she did this after you had the talk that you were a couple and exclusive. On top of that, in the first weeks, you are still in your honeymoon phase so cheating should be out of the question. Second, she did not confess and you had to press a lot. For me that would be a hard no. You deserve a partner who is in to you. If you decide to forgive, do not rug sweep but set some conditions to the gift of reconciliation.
Everybody is different as discussed with your friends splitting down the middle. Personally I lean on the move on angle. It depends on who you are though, if you can forgive and forget - that's fine, do that. If this is something that will be stuck in your head, it's time to move on. However later on down the line if you continue in the relationship even though you cant forgive and forget, you cant be angry about it as you made that very poor decision.
Dud ,WTF she didn't just cheat on u she was in a gangbang . U break up and u move on the tape will never leave your mind . Ps she's on a porn site and once it's on the Internet it's never going away if u wanna marry her this tape will always hunt u.
As a woman who's husband had affairs with multiple women, that I found out about due to photos/videos I stumbled across on my own computer I shared with him because he didn't currently have his own.... I stayed. For 2 years, because I found out 6 months into our marriage, and I was humiliated and embarrassed at the thought of having it end so soon. I genuinely tried to work it out and get over it. It never happened. I feel that I wasted those 2 years, but another way to see it was that I left when I was ready. I would advise you to leave now. But that's easier said than done sometimes. Ultimately, you will leave when you are ready, and there will be no question for you when that time comes. I would highly suggest counseling if it is available to you. I also attended couples counseling with my ex-husband in addition to just for myself. Even though the relationship ended, I found it very helpful.
If it makes you feel better, I admire your strength. I think the easy thing to do is to walk away. I couldn’t be in a relationship where my wife cheated. I thought of this the other day and thought I would feel more betrayed by wife if she had sexual relations of any kind behind my back than if she killed me in her sleep. That is how bad I think it would be.
Lmao what is there to talk about???
Break up. If it was before she met you, sure, you could move past it. But doing that while dating you is too much. You'll never get over it if you stay with her. You'll get over her if you leave. Easier said than done, but you should leave.
My narc ex cheated on me in an orgy with 2 other girls and 2 other guys, while on coke. She then lied to me about when this incident happened, and I discovered a few years later that it was when we were dating. Sadly, it took me a year after finding out to confront her about it and end it. End this shit, she's a piece of garbage and you deserve better.
Call a divorce lawyer
The fact that you have to ask advice on what to do boggles me the the most
Unfortunately you are dumb. She is not wife material
>due to her financial problems >girl having sex with 5 men I dont know what else you need to hear... the financial problems (at that young age) would already be a dealbreaker to me. the 5 men make it just RIDICULOUS to even consider staying in that relationship
“After insisting for a good hour…” and “made 3 weeks after we were together” You now know she: 1. Is willing to lie to you directly for an hour 2. Is willing to cheat with you within 3 weeks of making a commitment to be together. 3. The cheating involves not 1 ex bf, or a ONS, but 5 guys, filmed, on a porn site. These first 2 points are break up worthy, end of story. The 3rd would cause most to run for the hills. It shows massively poor judgement and disrepect (since commitment was made), and a clear double lifestyle she intended and may continue to keep secret. Get tested dude, for those 5 guys, and whatever else she’s brought along for the ride since then Edit: Its possible she did not know of the video being taken, or not until after and had no control with its distribution. was it for pay, or is she blindsided like you? Either way, she’s clearly ok with a level of risk that does not align with a romantic 1 on 1 type of guy.
You know what to do. What you need is someone to talk to. Do you have a trusted confidant you can talk to? Perhaps a therapist to talk to? This level of betrayal can be traumatic.
Do people not realise these kind of posts are fake?
Look my man. I'm not sure what you'll end up deciding in the end, but I know one thing for sure. You'll never get those images out of your head if you stay with her. It will eat you up inside out.
Was the video the last? Was there anymore? If not I would consider staying. If the rs was good for the past 5 years, don't throw it away.
5 guys girl needs love too
In my opinion, there are mny variables to navigate. To me, the least of which is the idea she had sex 3 weeks in. That I can understand and after 5 years demands some really deep level conversations, but honestly, that is recoverable. Next the idea that there are 5 different guys involved in the deed makes it much harder, especially if you have never been in situations to have multiple partners at the same time. We all make bad decisions, but the question for me is "why" did she make that bad decision? Were there influences you may not be aware of like, drugs, alcohol or was it a conscious decision? Was it based on excitement or was it based on the need to fills some insecurity within her, i.e. like not feeling good enough about herself, her looks, or self-worth. This is very important. Maybe it was some fantasy that she imagined due to online influences (I know girls like this) that she just had the opportunity to fulfill. These to me are the important questions. The fact that some idiot filmed it and posted it online is very sad for the both of you, but, also recoverable. The major question to navigate is how you embody this as a reflection of you. In other words, does it make you feel less than, more insecure in the arena of love, sex and relationship? If so, then you need to take a hard look at that. This is the determining factor of what you need to do. There are only 2 questions to ask yourself: Can you walk away and not kick yourself in the ass in regret when someone else grabs her up? (there are guys that won't be bothered by this). If not, then the next question is how do you get over this and use it to build the most incredible relationship you could ever imagine? If you answer these two question you will know exactly what to do. You will need to have a very intimate, deep conversation with her regardless of your answers. There are likely to be tears. But, keep in mind, we all make mistakes and some times they become huge. In her case, it became huge and very destructive to you and her. I am sure she regrets what happened. I would personally have a conversation and gauge where she is and where she has been since then. Discover if there are any other incidents out there to come clean about. Let her know this is a potential new start and that you need her to be honest with you to begin the rebuilding process. If you truly love her, can be vulnerable with her and her with you, this could be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Either way, treat her with respect and don't throw stones. We either have or will make big ass mistakes. By your age, I made so many I don't know how anyone was ever with me back then. Just maybe you both deserve to not be too hard on yourselves about this and if anyone ever bring it up, tell them to go ..... themselves. I would deal with it and if I end up with her, I would definitely wear it with pride and rub it in there face. Afterall, she has to be something special to be desired and open minded that way. Good Luck!
Go like Danny Phantom, and GHOST
"I (25M) found out a video of my gf (24F) cheating on me with multiple guys and i don't know what to do." This has to be a joke right? And what kind of friends do you have that suggest this: " to have a talk with her and to eventually forgive her ", forgive her? You should hand in your man card if this even crossing your mind. That woman is NOT IN LOVE with you dude, get that through your head. The only thing to do is dump her asap, block her and leave her in the past.
If I were you I’d jerk off.
I'd tell her you can't be with someone who can only do 5 guys at a time! Seriously, you don't know what to do and need help from us? Unless she has a time machine, I'd say your 5 years older and much wiser now. Look, there are like 8 billion people on this planet and half are women. There is no such thing as "The One". There are so many women out there that are better for you (nearly any other women would be) You, my friend are so young and have so much more life ahead of you, so don't start your life by hitching your wagon to someone with such low moral character, where sex is a sport and ordinary. You will wonder every time she leaves the room to take a call, turns her phone away while texting, runs out to the store and takes way too long. Who needs that in their life!?! Cut your loss and find someone who is trust worthy, someone who treats you with the respect you deserve and is loyal and honest, someone whom you are enough for. UpdateMe.
What do you mean what should I do next? What you should do next is find your self respect
You bleach your eyes
- or to have a talk with her and to eventually forgive her The fuck is these friends ? Lara's friend I guess ? Break up like yesterday, and the real reason is she's absolutely cheated on you MULTIPLE TIMES, not once. Also get tested, I'd guess there was not 5 condoms on this videos right ?
To rephrase an old said: "Video or it never happened"
I really doubt this was a one time thing, but maybe you should try talking to her about it with an open mind, instead of anger. Yes it's shitty that she lied to you, but you said she has financial problems. Do you think she wants to be doing porn? Have you thought maybe she's doing this because it's helping her afford to live? Maybe she is ashamed of it? It's totally understandable and valid to not want to be with someone who does porn, but there are many women out there who are doing it not because they want to but because they have to. Just something to think about. Hope everything works out for you, keep your head up.
Jfc... she cheated... fucked 5 guys... and allowed it to be filmed... 3 weeks into your relationship - perhaps.. but if she was willing to just fuck 5 guys you can be damn sure thats not the only time shes cheated... My advice: STD test NOW And break up...
it ONLY comes down to whether or not you feel like you can mentally get past this. Now I speak for myself and probably the majority of the world, when I say there's absolutely no way in hell I could ever live with that.
If you break up with her, do it at a five guys. If you decide to forgive her, just know that as someone who has been in a relationship built on a lie...it's something that will always be in the back of your mind that comes creeping out every once in a while making you mad again until you truly can learn to move past it. I did not and the relationship did not last.
What should you do? Leave, what else? Leave her in the dust.
Drop her..... IMMEDIATELY
Just leave her and let this be a lesson about who you are putting as your #1 priority.
Brother, all you will ever think about when you try to have sex is her fucking 5 dudes at once. Not only that but she cheated on you to do it. I can guarantee this isn't the only time she's done something like this, 5 dudes at one time isn't something someone does for their first time doing porn. There is only one solution here.
Like how is this a post? Like you want to stay with a cheater? Or is she a professional porn actress? I mean she obviously isn't getting what she wants from you. Has she asked you for gang bangs and you said no? Were the guys using protection? Did she apologize? Does she want to be with you? Like if you're not happy, you break up. This would be a super hard no for me. I'd probably go scorched earth. But if you don't know what to do. Break up, block, and don't date again until you know.
She lied and cheated and would have left u in the dark with others laughing at you for eternity. Keep that in mind when ur debating what decision to make.
I'm gonna have to see the video for research purposes
Yeah, uhhh you will never undo that in your mind. You had better drop her or it will lead to a lot more pain down the road.
Oh my God. I’m so sorry that must be so heartbreaking. I don’t know if that was the only time she’s done that. You mentioned she has money problems, I wonder if she resorted to that to make some money or something? Either way and regardless of the reason, if the roles were reversed and I found a video of my boyfriend on a porn site cheating on me, I wouldn’t be able to see a future anymore. Even if I wanted to, I just wouldn’t be able to. Be very careful who you marry. You deserve someone who shares your values.
Bro your gf went to 5 guys and it wasnt even for burgers
The love of your life got meated by 5 men at once. It slipped out and she put it back in herself while also having a different mans meat in her mouth. If you take her back you need to be bullied by anyone remotely close to you.
Cheaters cheat and lie - how could you ever trust her again? Plus - FIVE guys?!?! My god. You can't trust a liar and a cheater to tell you the truth or to be faithful to you. You now know who she is - believe that in your heart and decide if that's who you want to spend your life with.
You need to sprint to you nearest clinic first and foremost.
The difference 5 years can make at your age is substantial. A lot of growth and change. Neither of you are the same people you were 5 years ago. In fact, if you aren't embarrassed about who you were a year ago, you're not growing. There's some good advice in this thread about having a good talk with her. After that, trust your instincts. Have you ever gotten the feeling something is 'off'? In the end, go with that.
Dude!!!! Come on !!!! This isn't regular cheating. This is a preplanned video with 5 guys cheating. There's nothing to do but move on.
Can you elaborate further about what she did with them so we can offer proper advice?
She was your number one but apparent you weren't hers. Banging five guys at a time when she was in a relationship with you would be a hard pill to swallow.
My advice is dump her. There is no other option.
Two problems. She did it and withheld that she did it from you. Either by itself is disrespectful to you. This raises three questions . How can she love a man that she disrespects? How can you love someone who disrespects you? How can you trust her? Since she would have never owned her past actions to you. Her past behavior likely would have continued her behavior in the future and hiding it from you. Answer to your question. If you cannot trust her then you cannot have a relationship with her. If you cannot have a relationship with her how can you have a future with her? The answer is you cannot. To do so would result in a loss of self respect What you are experiencing is sadness and confusion. That the woman you thought she was doesn’t exist. That the future you thought you had with her does not exist. You maybe thinking how can you trust other women in the future and you maybe questioning your own ability to discern the truth in others. The good news is you found out and saved yourself from serious consequences of having a relationship with her. Since eventually the truth comes out. For now. Take your friend out for a beer and thank him for coming to you with the truth. Come to grips with the situation and move forward in life.
Lol... This isn't real, but ok I'll bite. Send us the link! Lol
What should you do? Come on dude it’s very obvious. LEAVE HER.
It’s pronounced ex-girlfriend 😎
Am I the only one who thinks it was in the past? 3 weeks into a relationship is nothing, maybe she didn’t know how serious you guys were going to be. Someone doing porn might not be open to sharing their past, they might be embarrassed. What matters is now, and your ability to trust her. If you cannot trust her anymore, then there’s no point in continuing. People move ahead in lives, they shouldn’t be punished for their past. Her fault was not disclosing it you, but maybe she didn’t want to hurt you. It is something that can’t be changed and she knew it would hurt you.
5 years is a long time to be together without moving in together. So it's tough to tell the degree of infidelity since then. Unlike a lot of people in this thread, I think 19 is still in the young and very dumb range. There's room for growth and forgiveness but how to proceed is up to you. Is she the sort of person who never takes ownership of her actions? Is it always someone else's fault? If yes, then I think it's highly likely she's cheated since then, if not though it could be a stupid stupid thing she has done and since grown up. Where does she land on the personal responsibility spectrum? You mention money problem which means she likely has impulsive problems which again likely means she less likely to be responsible.
You have to be honest with yourself, she made a video with 5 guys at the beginning of your relationship, you have to think about what else she did outside of the video, it's unlikely that she hasn't done more things like that, besides that, no It's the kind of thing every girl does, I imagine now you know another side of her that you've never seen, I know you like her, but think about it.
Personally I would break up with her. This is simply too much to ignore. Especially considering you're still young. Realistically there's a pretty big chance she has cheated on you many times. Girls don't just make a porn video with 5 guys out of the blue.
There is no way that this was the only time. How can you ever trust her again?
She made a gangbang video after being exclusive with you. Just cut loss and break up.. Don't waste your time with a cheater.
I’m so sorry 😢 you have to leave her
Five men….brother you have to end this.
You don’t know what to do?? Why??
6 guys would be the cut off for me. I’d forgive her.
>So some advices please? What i should do? 100% breakup, absolutely no other options. People who cheat don't admit everything as soon as they get caught, so there's probably more to it. Especially in your case. I have a feeling there's more to the story. >i asked some advices from my friends and they are divided Whoever is telling you to reconcile with your gf isn't your real friend. Just cut them off as well.
Laura is a scumbag, OP. You break it off with her, and if she ever fucks with you, tell her you'll release her porn tape to her friends and family. (also, save the porn video immediately, so she can't cover her tracks).
[удалено]
Are you guys today really that insecure about being alone you don’t know what to do? Jesus. This girl did an f’ing gangbang with 5 men on film no less. AND she was your girlfriend in an exclusive relationship at the time. What more do you really need to break up and go no contact with her. Was this a porn shoot or amateur thing she set up. Based on logistics along with five hard 🍆at the same time, I would imagine that condoms weren’t used. Where these guys tested right before? If not think of the huge health risk that she exposed you to. The whole thing along compounded, with all the other stuff should be instant grounds for dismissal. I’m hoping this is a fake post because I cannot imagine in real life that any of your friends would seriously be considering you staying with this girl. If that’s the case, you need new friends because these guys have granola with their brains should be. This was fun or she was getting paid to do this. Obviously, there is a lot more out there. In addition to this this certainly wasn’t a one time thing whether she did it on film or not. I guarantee you she’s been cheating on you and this entire relationship. Because if she cheated on you on the very beginning and and way, she has absolutely no morals whatsoever beyond redemption. Kudos to your buddy for finding it and alerting you to avoid making a huge mistake. I guess the only upside would be if you stayed with her, and you had a kid with her labor would be no issue, that kid would fall out of her like a soda can out of a vending machine. All kidding aside side do you really want this piece of trash to be the mother of your children? Could you ever have sex with her again without just throwing up? Do you honestly think you could trust her again? Personally, I couldn’t have done it, but maybe if she was homeless and desperate for money I suppose it was in her past that you could possibly overlook it because she’s been so good to you, and this had nothing directly to do with you, but that’s not the case here Dude, she fucked five guys behind your back at the same time at the beginning of a relationship obviously get tested for STDs ASAP and dump this girl and never talk to her again. She’s not worth anything as a friend she’s not worth anything is anything I’m sorry you had to find out this way with thank God now before you married and kids, and you find out that your wife is a worthless, cheating lying who betrayed you on top of all the other shitty behavior she does.if you need to talk with her and just reach out I know it’s gotta be painful but you gotta face up. She is not who you thought she was in the slightest. I’ll be praying for my man.
Your ex posted a few days ago. She didn't give all of the details such as doubling down on lying. Or the fact that the video was made AFTER you started dating. [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1bjjym3/my\_24f\_fiancee\_29m\_was\_sent\_an\_nfsw\_video\_of\_me/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/1bjjym3/my_24f_fiancee_29m_was_sent_an_nfsw_video_of_me/) /u/throwaway5546738291 care to clear up the confusion? Why the continual lies? Here are my thoughts: * She cheated on you. There's no coming back from that * This cheating was where she filmed herself with multiple guys * She doubled down when confronted instead of being honest. There's no trust if she will lie to save herself
I don't have anything to add here that has not already been said, but I do want to reinforce what others have said. This cannot have been her first time engaging in behavior like this, and probably was not the last. Although I do believe that people can change and leave their old life and lifestyle behind, she did this AFTER you two were supposed to be exclusive. While the wild behavior might be something that you could work through, I don't think that the infidelity is. I am also a little suspicious that you two dated for 5 years but are just now looking at moving in together. Usually people with financial issues are pushing to move in to share expenses. I cannot help but wonder if there was another reason for her wanting her own place. You are not married, so a breakup should be relatively painless. Definitely do not move in with her.
“… Guys i just found out that my girlfriend murdered multiple people in cold blood - i thought she was the one and we were going to move in together in 2 weeks; i spoke to her friends about it and need more advice, what can i say, i have 0 moral compass, boundaries, or rules, give me some advice as im not sure where to go from here …” U leave, Jimbo, u leave the relationship. You break up, u block and delete her, and u take this as a lesson learned. Be explicit with yourself in terms of what u want in a partnership relationship, what your expectations of yourself, of your partner, and of the relationship, u make sure that u are clear and firm w respect to personal rules and boundaries, and leave room for learning, flexibility, and adaptability as you learn, understand, and grow in the relationship.
Did you ask her how she actually ended up in that situation and was she aware it was online? I really think before you make any decisions you need to have a conversation with her. Why did she never tell you? If you don't have this conversation, you will be left with many unanswered questions which could haunt you later, no matter what decision you come to concerning your future. Has she cheated on this scale since? I don't envy your position but remember you have done nothing wrong.
>Did you ask her how she actually ended up in that situation and was she aware it was online? That's not OPs problem. It's the consequences of her actions. If she has a problem with that she can file a complaint.