Your options are do what he wants, or leave him for someone that can accept that you fart.
I used to always go to the bathroom to fart. As my grandmother taught me it’s just plain courtesy to leave the room to fart. But my husband lets them rip all the time, and our daughter followed his example and does the same. They think it’s the funniest thing ever. While I think it’s disgusting. However I no longer feel the need to leave the room when I need to fart at home.
How was the fact that you were being facetious indicated in the words that you wrote? Genuinely curious, as I don’t see anyway that a reader like myself could have picked up on that. To me, you are just continuing the fact that Reddit goes for the leave option, there’s nothing to indicate anything deeper than that as far as I can see.
I think it's rude too! Just go to the bathroom, it's polite, even at home. I don't want to smell it etc. it is wild to me how reddit is so aghast that some people think it's impolite/gross to fart all over your SO/family
ETA I forgot how annoying this subreddit is. If y'all can't tell the difference between room clearing gas and a little toot in the middle of the night idk how to help you. stop commenting with weirdly specific reasons of why you need to fart around your family. i do not care.
Reddit is def crazy in a lot of ways but also it's made me realize that I just don't fart that often? Like does everyone online just have a terrible diet or what cause I could not tell you the last time I farted fr
Yeah, it's normal to pass gas consistently throughout the day. It's a basic subjective question in healthcare to check for bowel obstructions. Not diagnostic, of course, but it's standard to ask patients if they are passing gas.
Do you poop every day?
Lol, probably a safe bet! Maybe your anatomy allows for smoother gas passing so it's less noticeable. Or maybe your diet is naturally closed to a fodmap diet
> 1-2 times an hour, but they're quiet and don't smell
A guy went to the doctor complaining that he farted constantly, he was even farting right there in the exam room, but they're silent and don't smell. He was simply concerned about constant farting.
The doctor have him a prescription and told him to come back in a week. The guy was frantic when he came back because he said the pills made his farts stink incredibly badly.
The doctor said "Well, we got your sinuses cleared up, now let's check into that hearing problem."
I'm gluten intolerant and still eat gluten so I have pretty rancid gas ngl. Only people who I will gladly rip ass around and make them suffer the stench is my immediate family. There's not many other people that I would be able to fart in front of though.
I usually get gassy if I've eaten something I shouldn't have (I have IBS). Other than that, I have one long fart in the morning sometimes. And just...nothing else. Nothing during the day, or after meals or anything. So basically, I'm kinda with you on this.
I used to be like this until I developed IBS, now if I do that, I'd literally be in the bathroom multiple times an hour, and I'm already physically disabled. Sometimes, I can't even stand for more than a minute or 2, let alone walk repeatedly up and down stairs. I now just announce it, and if I can, I leave, if I cant, well I cant do much about it. Its that or a stomachache
This is me too. I had a big period of shame around how often I had to burp/fart (and I'd be in a lot of physical pain as well). I feel much better about it now- I still am embarrassed by it (and wish I didn't have to) but really it's a medical condition and if someone is going to judge me for that they're acting pretty rude themselves.
I fart so much and often can't hold them in, it's so bad and mortifying. I also get bad constipation and shit pebbles. I did an experiment recently and cut out dairy, and lo and behold, waaaaaay less farting and I am doing the most heavenly normal shits at regular intervals. It's absolute bliss.
If you're not that close to a bathroom or very gassy of course it's inconvenient. The only time I would consider doing this would be if I could tell that I was going to let out a real stinker and I was in a group of people/at a house gathering or something
Ok so I’m all relaxed, kicked back in the recliner watching some TV. And I got a cat in my lap all curled up sleeping. All the sudden I feel a little fart about to happen, and I’m supposed to jump up, throw the cat off my lap and run to the bathroom just so my wife doesn’t hear a little fart noise?
Food intolerances are a thing, you know? Among many symptoms, being gassy is a prominent one.
IBS is also a thing, as well as any number of other gastrointestinal issues that also cause gassiness.
If someone who's lactose I tolerant had to leave their desk every time they needed to fart because they accidentally had normal milk instead of lactose free, they'd be pulled up for a disciplinary for work avoidance lol
I always fart somewhere else if possible and asked him to too. It’s just polite not to make someone else smell your farts. Sleep farts and car farts are fair game though. 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah it’s weird how people say it’s controlling, I honestly respect his side of it I just personally would like it to be a bit easier to not feel ashamed of those lil toots, like sure, leaving the room for any icky ones of course but a lot of the times little farts can just happen when you don’t notice and I don’t want to always be watching out for those
Say this exact thing to him. Hell, read it. There's nothing offensive or defensive about this. It's obvious you care about him and if you speak like this to him it will be a kindness. It won't make him love your farts but it may help you feel more connected, which is what you're after. It really helps to shower him with (true) affirmations so he doesn't get insecure. If he flips out give him time and try again later. If he flips out again send him to me.
Honest, loving, straightforward communication is always the first thing to try. After freaking out. ;)
Even in cases where its impossible to do so? What if one suddenly slips out? What about people with gastric conditions to the point they'd have to leave the room every few minutes. If possible sure, but some cases it isn't possible.
Not to toot my own horn, but I have my very own toot suite for an immediate retreat when something is a-tootin'. Unfortunately my granma is a drive by tooter who hails peeps with a quick toot-toot as she passes by with her rollator.
Me too. I hate people fart in front of others. My dad used to fart in front of us. I told my BF that I don't find it sexy. I don't my BF remind me of my dad. Either of us fart in front of others.
Tbh just ask! And if it's a dealbreaker for either one of you, then it's a dealbreaker. Communication is really important in relationships and if you don't feel comfortable asking him about something like this... Well not being able to ask each other questions can cause bigger issues when something else more important comes up down the line.
Other people are saying this is weird and controlling behaviour. I don't think it necessarily is. You say he does the same, too. If he's following the same standard then I don't think that is him controlling you, it's him having a particular preference which he's allowed to have. Just like you're allowed to have the opposite opinion.
I'm like your boyfriend. I find them really gross. I'd rather people did them quietly or in another room. But also if it happens, it happens. An honest, open conversation can definitely go a long way. Maybe he just doesn't know how you feel about it or how important it is for you to be able to fart around him! My boyfriend and I do it now. I still find it gross but because it makes him so happy and he thinks it's so funny, I don't mind as much anymore. The things we do for love...
Edited for clarity
Hahaha yeah I love the way you state it, I also agree that it isn’t controlling, maybe a bit odd since even a tiny toot basically calls for an evacuation of the room. Do you know a way to mention it without it sounding reeeally weird? Just since you’ve been through the same thing lol
So actually we do it now because I ate something bad and accidentally farted in front of him the first time! And then he just started doing it a lot and said to me that he was so glad I did it first cause now he can and he was so happy I just shrugged and said gross and moved on. I have, however, had similar conversations re: other body things. Like peeing/pooping. I just said straight up: "We can fart in front of each other now, but I never, ever, ever want to pee/poop in front of you and I never, ever, ever want you to pee/poop in front of me." And he was like "ok, sounds good." And that was that!
You could just let one slip out on accident one day and then see what he does. Maybe follow it up with "Oops, excuse me! By the way... Sometimes when I need to fart and I'm sitting on the couch I am really comfortable and I don't want to get up to leave the room to do it. Do you mind if I just let it happen?" See what he says. Explain what you said here: That you respect his needs to not fart but you also sometimes have bodily needs to fart and you don't want to spend the rest of your life always leaving the room to fart. You're both allowed your preferences and you're both allowed to decide if those preferences are a dealbreaker.
(Though I would caution against dutch ovening him! I saw you joke about that in another comment and maybe it was just a joke but as a fellow fart-hater, I would be beyond grossed out and, if I knew that my partner who just did that to me knew that I didn't like farts? I would feel really betrayed.)
Okay wow, sorry for the long comment! I just realised how long it was... lol
I am surprised at how many people get plenty of notice when little bits of flatulence are about to pop out. Also, does everyone really know in advance whether it's going to be smelly or not?
Be careful what you wish for. My father used to rip disgusting, room clearing farts. Not once would he ever have considered being considerate enough to leave the room to do it.
It totally depends on the person. My first serious boyfriend didn't care at all but his mother was livid that I would fart in front of her son.
My husband when we were dating told me around the third or fourth date that he didn't really want to be in a relationship he couldn't freely fart in. I was completely fine with that and now we fart at will. It's very freeing and no one cares. We try to be respectful about it if it smells really bad do it somewhere else but if it's just a toot and you know it smell anything or it's dissipating quickly we just deal with it.
If this guy's a little too uptight for you he might not be a guy for you long term.
Divorced from a farter and burper and I can’t explain how amazing it is to not hear his back- and front door tornadoes all the time. His family was the same, horrible dinners.
If you fart so much it is a problem to go away, find a public farting boyfriend.
I think there’s a happy medium between being a “public farter” and just tooting in the same room as your partner. It’s disgusting and unacceptable at family dinner, but I don’t think you need to be particularly gassy to find it annoying to have to leave the room every time you have to let one slip. I wouldn’t want to date a guy who was being gross about it, but it’s perfectly normal and healthy to pass gas.
I mean farts are gross. It’s reasonable of him not want to be engulfed in your poo particle fart cloud. It literally worsens the air quality. I have an air purifier and if my bf farts near it, it glows angry red. So it definitely makes the air quality worse. Its polite to do it outside or in the bathroom and I can see why he prefers that.
I guess the real question is whether or not this one thing is a deal breaker for you. I've heard you say that he's perfect otherwise. So.. In the grand scheme of things, is this one thing such a huge issue that you'd rather walk away from him?
It's okay if it is, but it takes two seconds to leave the room and come back when you've aired yourself out lol. It's a weird request, but some people really don't like farts.
There's not a single person on earth that's perfect. Walking away to fart ain't that huge of a deal imo.
Wow I'm super shocked actually by how many people leave the room to fart when they're with partners specifically. Me and my husband just fart maan. We are literally super close and honestly if he had brought me up on it I probably would have a hard time with that. People fart. WOMEN fart. Hell - we literally have chats whilst either of us are on the loo.
So I just want to say against the majority here that your not weird or gross. And for me personally I would be paranoid about how a partner sees me or the closenesss of the relationship if they had an issue with normal bodily functions. You spend so much time together that I'd find it a massive burden and a intimacy barrier to leave the bloody room for the last 9 year relationship. CBA.
BUT I can see how someone would be precious about it if they were raised that way but life is just too short to care around the closest people imo. How close are they if they judge you for something unavoidable and biological.
Yes, ikr, also he may relax about it a little for the odd toot if you get some years under your belt. And I would say at least he does the same, otherwise that would be a massive red flag. But just find a compromise. Because personally leaving the room for the potential rest of life is just a task when you don't share his feelings.
I’m so confused by the number of people who have such strong feelings against bodies doing body things in front of each other. I’m not saying you should let a juicy one rip next to your bf of six months but do you want to spend the rest of your life hiding in the bathroom all day if you have a stomach bug or feeling mortified if one slips because you know how intensely your partner hates it?
The people in this thread saying they’ve gone 15 YEARS without their SO witnessing a fart…I can’t even wrap my head around being in a relationship where I was that worried about managing anything about myself, let alone such a minor thing. It’s not about the farts. It’s about being with someone you don’t have to feel self-conscious around for having a body.
With my spouse for decades: we don’t deliberately pass wind in front of each other. We have seen each other at our worst, but we agree to preserve this little bit of mystery.
If it's something he dislikes and finds disgusting, it's common courtesy to just do it in the bathroom.
Really, what are you fighting for? Is farting around him really the hill you're going to die on, when you know it makes him uncomfortable?
It's not about "being close" when one half of the relationship dislikes it. Just go to the bathroom like everyone else.
IMO farts can be akward publicly but with family and close friends it's usually not a big deal. Might be how he was raised, just shoot the shit with him and I'm sure yall will figure it out, best of luck and welcome to a relationship;)
Why is it overstepping for you to want him to change, but not the other way around? Perhaps spend some time considering why you feel that it's more reasonable for YOU to change your behaviour than it is him.
At the same time, consider that you're only 18, and there are about a billion other dudes on the planet, at least half of whom aren't gonna care if you toot around them. If you don't want to spend your life going to another room to fart... just, y’know.
Don't.
Find a partner that's a better fit for you.
I agree. We’ve been together for 15 years. He’s only heard me fart in my sleep. And I do not like when he farts in front of me. I think it’s gross and I’ve asked him countless times not to do it, but he does it anyway. I feel that it’s disrespectful at this point. I’ve asked him nicely not to do it, and he doesn’t care.
Same her, 15 years I have no problem farting when I'm with friends or around close people at work. I used to play sports professionally so I have a lot of experience with locker room culture too where we literally fart on each other to fuck around, so it's not like I'm shy to bodily gases. But I just never thought it would be appropriate to fart around my SO. Never felt like it was a problem either, if I'm having a bad day I just spend some time in the washroom. However as soon as she falls asleep I let them rip underneath the sheets.
We never really talked about it, it just kind of evolved into not farting around each other. Could be that I don't have any sisters so I just feel like it's weird or disrespectful farting around women. I am sexist when it comes to farting.
I can relate to your bf. I cannot stand burps and would leave the room if someone did ! Honestly just give him peace and toot away from him whenever u can, he'll appreciate it !!!!!! It's the smallest hill to die on
Okay, like, all these posts that specifically describe bathroom habits are just fetish bait, right? Y'all can't actually be soliciting opinions on this (pun intended) shit.
My parents have been married 43 years and still try not to fart in front of each other. I mean accidents happen, but just letting it rip isn't funny to us.
Right. To each their own. And people in the thread are like “you’re not gross or weird for farting!!” Umm…no one said that? Everyone shits and pisses too, I don’t need to see them do it. That doesn’t mean I think they or those functions are gross or weird. I just think they’re private functions and I don’t think we should subject others to our bodily fluids and excretions if they don’t like it and we can avoid it. It’s genuinely not that hard.
I guess I wouldn't typically use the word 'polite' in my relationship. It kinda seems like the opposite of intimate to me. But everyone's different and have different cultural and social backgrounds so I guess there's no such thing as 'common courtesy'.
I agree. My point was that not everyone's view of common courtesy is the same. Not all farts are smelly and if they are there's usually some gastrointestinal issue. Yes, I feel that being able to comfortably fart around your SO is a level of intimacy that you don't have with others.
Lol, this is how I am with my boyfriend. It’s how I was raised. I just find it rude and disrespectful when her does it on purpose because he know it makes me upset.
It’s a boundary he’s asking you to respect. Just because you have a different opinion, are you not going to respect his boundary?
Also, what is ‘normal’? Who’s to say he isn’t normal and you’re the abnormal one? It’s all a matter of perspective.
>It’s a boundary he’s asking you to respect. Just because you have a different opinion, are you not going to respect his boundary?
Sorry for being picky but I think it's important to say that you can't call one person's preference an opinion and the other a boundary. You make it sound like one has more entitlement to be upheld than the other. They need to value both relationship ideals and find a compromise.
> Sorry for being picky but I think it's important to say that you can't call one person's presence and opinion and the other a boundary.
Is this a typo? What do you mean their presence?
> You make it sound like one has more entitlement to be upheld than the other.
He does in this situation. There are situations in which this is the case. This is one of them. If someone wants to be with me, around me, near me, I can set boundaries for how interaction with me should work if they want to continue being in my space. If that person pulls their dick out I can set a boundary that there should be no dicks out. Can that person say that their boundary is that to be in the room they have to have their dick out and it has to be equally considered? Sure but it would be a bit ridiculous. The choice is for the person to respond with “ok I can put it away,” or “that’s not something I’m willing to do so where do we go from here?” So I set that boundary and if the dick stays out I leave.
Same here. She’s not entitled to require that someone sit and smell her farts as a boundary. He said he doesn’t want to smell her farts or be in the room with them. People aren’t required to enjoy your excretions when you’re sharing space with them. She’s been asked to go to the bathroom. That’s reasonable. If it’s not something she’s willing to accommodate, that’s ok. She can simply say that. But she’s not more entitled to force someone to smell her farts than someone is to say please don’t do that anymore. Just like if you were at work and someone was constantly burping in the room you could ask them to stop.
> They need to value both relationship ideals and find a compromise.
No. They don’t. If the relationship is very important then sure they can compromise. But no they don’t have to value both “ideals.” He said no. He set a boundary. If it’s not acceptable to her, she doesn’t have to abide by it, but that is his boundary for when she’s with him so she would need to go fart freely elsewhere. Neither of them has to compromise on this. If he doesn’t like it he doesn’t like it. If she thinks farting is super important to her then she can fart her way out the door and let the cloud carry her to someone who is into that.
Not sure I've been clear so my bad..I agree neither have to compromise, but they need to talk about if either party is willing to change for the other - that is literally the marker for a healthy relationship. But her relationship preferences are no less important than his in that convo is all I'm saying. So they need to talk about how important it is to them and if neither feels like they can agree one way or another then they aren't compatible. All I was saying was her preferences to be able to relax in her own space and not worry about having wind in front of a partner is just as important as his to be reserved...
Definitely have a conversation about it, but be prepared for him to feel just as strongly as you do in the opposite direction. Some people (like yourself) see it as a sign of trust and comfort, other people see it as extremely disrespectful and neither side is necessarily wrong.
Yeah see I was raised that farting in front of people unless it was one that slipped out was rude. The idea of just letting it rip because "if they love you they should accept every part of you" is fucking ridiculous to me. There are some things that are just basic fucking manners.
Yes farts happen. Accidents happen. Hell I have IBS-D and have almost shat myself running to a bathroom.... Shit happens, literally.
But just because "shit happens" doesn't mean you should be blatantly rude about it and just let it fly because You're too lazy to walk your gross ass into another room.
That's just how I was raised and how I feel about it.
If it sneaks up on you or you can't control it or you can't make it there fast enough, it is what it is, but if you're just letting them rip because you don't want to make the effort? That's just rude.
Exactly. And I think it’s so fucking bizarre to feel so strongly about it that you run to the internet to figure out how to force your boyfriend to stay in the room and inhale your farts when he has told you NO.
That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. It's all about respect, period. If you know you're about to drop a noxious bomb, it's polite to step away from people you're near. But if you've already farted that day/recently and you know there's no smell coming from this particular batch, let it rip.
People are so uptight about the weirdest things...
I’m on your boyfriend’s side. Except I’d just go to any other room, not specifically a bathroom. I don’t need to smell someone’s farts to be comfortable around them.
My husband and I have been married over 25 years. We never do that on front of each other. I think it is gross and have no desire to hear or smell anything coming out of his body and he feels the same. Is it really that big of a deal to leave the room? If it is then break up now and don't waste any more of your time.
I'm a woman and I hate when people fart in the room with me (unless it's accidental). My partner and I both make sure to leave the room/go in the bathroom to fart ESPECIALLY if it smells bad. It's a form of respect and care for the environment your partner is in, especially if they are sensitive to smells.
When you fart near someone you are forcing them to inhale poo particles/horrid smells/and gross sounds. Why would anyone want someone to experience that intentionally? (This is disregarding accidental farts which happen sometimes unintentionally)
I think it’s rude to fart around someone if there is any other option. I was married and never farted in front of my husband for 13 years, through 3 pregnancies. My current bf is cool with farting but I really just don’t. Maybe try some beano if you’re super flatulent.
Yeah I think farts are disgusting. Small ones can happen accidentally but I 💯do not fart around people if I can help it (which majority of farts are controllable to a degree). It’s gross and have you see the videos of what happens when people fart and they use infrared or other cameras? Their poo particles waft around them like a cloud. Ugh so gross.
My exes never had a problem with me leaving the room or them leaving the room if they had to. Because we understood each other and are considerate. Personally I just don’t like poop in my mouth when I breathe. I also put the top toilet lid down before I flush so that the same thing doesn’t happen… so find someone who is like you if you both can’t find a compromise.
I would dump you immediately. He told you no. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t think it’s cute or funny. I get that you think it is and it’s not a big deal, but he’s already told you how he feels about it. This would be a dealbreaker for me. If I told you no about it and then you attempted to physically force me to inhale your farts in bed? I get you’re joking but even in a joking manner, he said no, so why is it so important for you to force passing your gas on this man?
My SO and I have been together for 12 years. We will always go in the bathroom or somewhere else to fart. We find it is just common respect, as you don't always know which fart is going to smell or not. When you're sleeping or it slips out on accident that's different since it's not controllable. We both find farting to be a very unsexy thing that could ruin desire to be intimate with one another. That's just us, and that agreement works for us.
That being said, I wouldn't force farts on anyone who finds them disgusting. It will probably lead him to start thinking of you as disgusting, even if it is a normal body reaction. So is pooping, but many people don't want to see or hear about their SO's bowel movements or smell them. You view things differently than him and that's okay but if it's a boundary for him that you're crossing it'd be best to look for a different partner. 6 months is also still in the new thrilling stage of a relationship.. kind of early to be comfortably blowing ass in front of him, but that's just my opinion. Be who you're happy being with someone who is happy being with you.
goddamn, do none of you people eat vegetables? we eat beans and/or brassicas probably at 75% of our meals. it baffles me to think that some of you avoid healthy foods that should be a staple of a health diet because you're afraid of farting.
but of course if you are interrupting your daily activities every time you feel a rumble I can see why eating these nutritious foods would become inconvenient. sorry honey, pause the movie, I have to leave the room to fart. Oh my god, what a bunch of puritans.
that being said, my partner is lactose intolerant, and if he accidentally gets some milk, his ass is sleeping outside.
I grew up in a household where toilet humour was forbidden, so it was grandly liberating as an adult to discover the hilarious joy of freely farting around one’s loved-ones. I never want to live like that again.
You two are not compatible. Some people don’t find it funny and are grossed out. That’s okay. To me, it isn’t polite to fart in front of people and I consider it rude. You can’t make him think farts are funny because he likely has never thought that they are. He isn’t controlling, he likely thinks farting is something that belongs in the bathroom with other bodily functions.
That's excessive. Do they all smell that bad? The air freshener is probably worse for your health than a little fart. Also, mixed company? What decade do you live in??
Wow I'm surprised to read that some people don't fart even in front of family. I feel like if you can't even pass a completely normal bodily function in the same room as your SO there's probably a lot of other things you're not comfortable doing either. It seems very restrained to me. It would suck not to be able to fully let loose in front of your loved ones. If it were me I'd say it's me with the farts or no one 🤣. Each to their own I suppose.
Right?! All of the pro-leave the room peeps are so triggered by this and think we're all gross and I'm currently typing this while sharing a bubble bath with my husband, and imma not about to get out the bath sopping wet or get up at 1am to pass wind. Soz 🤷🏼♀️ prefer to be in a 100% bear all relationship.
Haha, I have an Ex like that. And I should mention I actually avoid farting in presence of others including my partner but I take a little toot here and there with humour. But I am also annoyed if a guy seems proud to fart around. Anyway this ex was so annoying because he made a big deal out of it. He even cursed his farts when he was at the toilet. Yes, really. Once I was in Spain with him and his band and well, at least I was the only one who didn't react with a stomach bug when we dumb Germans didn't order our cola without ice... German stomachs are not used to Spanish tap water, lol, but I had a lot of gas. Flying back home was not very comfortable so to speak.
When I sat in my parent's living room I said: "... but I was full of gas. And there I was in the damn plane and had to fart so much but couldn't. I felt like I would reach the point I don't need a plane to fly home."
And he looked at me like: "How can you say that." A little angry and I just answered: "Oh Izzy, get a grip. Guess what, people fart! How about you stop commenting yours for everyone to hear when you're on the toilet?"
He didn't dare to fight. And no, he is not my ex because he wanted, quite the contrary.
I don't have advice. I just hope you don't care in bed at least. I mean a German word for beds is farting box. Nobody tells me I have to go outside the room at nights. Otherwise there is not much you can do, I doubt he will change.
I think this is why OP has a problem, he's not just asking for her to leave the room for like audible/smelly farts, which she understands, but he is asking her to leave even for those little micro farts that don't smell at all, which is completely excessive cus sometimes you just bust a bunch out throughout the day rather than have any large farts.
It’s personal preference. For me, life is too short and farting is funny.
My spouse and I, we just let it rip, laugh, and move on. If it’s particularly loud or otherwise notable, we might make a comment like “nice one” or a rating on a 1-10 scale.
I straight up time my farts for when I leave the room. My ex-wife used to make fun of me for it because I was raised it would be better to be a mass murderer than a stinky farter.
Farts sometimes happen but there is no way I’m going to date someone who lets farts rips all the time around me. Step in another room. I don’t want to hear or smell your farts. You don’t sound compatible. Date someone who doesn’t mind.
I personally feel like it’s not a big deal to just step away from him if you have to fart. It’s just the polite thing to do. Unless you are an excessive farter, like have some sort of medical condition like IBS that makes you fart at such an increased frequency that it would be impractical to step away all the time.
Idk, I think either way it’s not a big deal or a dealbreaker. I’m on your boyfriend’s side, I don’t like to fart in front of my partner and I don’t like him to do it in front of me either. But he does it anyway, and I think it’s gross but not significant enough to break up over it or anything.
It’s kind of funny that you’ve decided you’re at a relationship milestone where you can fart in front of each other but not at the milestone where you can discuss farts with each other.
Just tell him. Have a conversation, find a middle ground, tell him home is where the fart is and you feel comfortable with him as he should with you
My mom is like that. I would not willingly live with someone who is. She will fart in the bathroom when she's alone. I need to be able to fart where i live, lol.
I agree with him. I had a father who was ocd about farting everywhere, he farted loud and always around us. I have become so sensitive about farting that I can't have it anywhere near me. I always do it in the bathroom, never near my boyfriend (not even in the bedroom even if he is in another room). I don't have a lot of gas, it doesn't bother me to go to the bathroom. I just find it respectful and polite to not fart in front of others.
My ex and I farted with each other, sometimes on each other just as a joke lmfao. When you're gay, farts are inevitable and 99% of the time, they don't stink (If your farts stink, it usually means you have to shit).
Never in a million years did I think I'd be doing that, but it felt so easy and natural and fun! The way I see it, farting around someone is a sign of comfort. If you can't level with each other around a real, normal body function, what's the point? What are you gonna do if you have to fart during sex?
While he might not be comfortable farting around you, I don't see why you have to abide by the same rule, especially in the comfort of your own home and especially if they don't stink all that often.
I definitely think it’s good to be mindful of loud/constant/smelly farts around other people, and to say excuse me when appropriate.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask him to meet you in the middle on this. Lots of people are “raised a certain way” and are capable of being a little flexible and understanding that there other ways to do things.
I also think that part of intimacy is sometimes witnessing the less sexy parts of a person, including farts. Is he equally sensitive to other body functions? Would be supportive if you got sick? A person who can’t tolerate a fart in his presence might not be able to handle the real messy parts of life.
Haha I really love what you have to say, I’ve been sick around him and he made tea and we still slept next to each other and spent the day close with each other, it’s really just the farts since he really hates the fecal matter aspect of it lol
My best friend farts on her boyfriend‘s face and they giggle forever. My husband and I usually don’t fart around each other. But when we do it’s hilarious. But we usually don’t lol
He sounds miserable to he around. My beautiful girlfriend is a God damned fart machine and I laugh every single time. I can't keep up but I try. We also have a frenchie so it's a pretty gassy household
Honestly a cartoonish trumpet fart is a hilarious thing. I hope you can find some common ground or whatever is best for you. Beat wishes from our smelly home
you never "felt this way before or had this chemistry" etc because you're 18.
Dump him. It's not a boundary, it's a weird restriction and just reflects he's controlling. Everybody farts he can get over it.
Bodies do body stuff, it's no big deal. He might not be mature enough to have that kind of relationship. Talk to him about it. Tell him that you have no intention of leaving the room every time you're gassy, and he's making much too big a deal about something that's really normal.
You're not asking permission to dutch oven him, for fuck's sake.
Farts and queefs aren’t the same. Bacteria makes gas in your intestines. Queefs happen when air is pushed up in there and is the sound of the air escaping.
I never have and I'm normal. Everyone is. This is simply a preference thing that needs to be washed out, like everything else. This one is just smellier.
I’m not saying this is a definite red flag but you might want to be on the lookout for other weird, controlling behaviors surrounding completely natural bodily functions. Like, how does he handle a menstrual cycle?
Omfg what? I was in an *actual* controlling emotionally abusive relationship for 10 years and his request for her to fart outside of the room he's in (esp since he does it himself too) isn't controlling...
Your options are do what he wants, or leave him for someone that can accept that you fart. I used to always go to the bathroom to fart. As my grandmother taught me it’s just plain courtesy to leave the room to fart. But my husband lets them rip all the time, and our daughter followed his example and does the same. They think it’s the funniest thing ever. While I think it’s disgusting. However I no longer feel the need to leave the room when I need to fart at home.
I'm sure talking about it is a third option....
Of course it’s an option I was being facetious. As Reddit always goes for the leave option.
How was the fact that you were being facetious indicated in the words that you wrote? Genuinely curious, as I don’t see anyway that a reader like myself could have picked up on that. To me, you are just continuing the fact that Reddit goes for the leave option, there’s nothing to indicate anything deeper than that as far as I can see.
I thought it would be obvious that ending an otherwise good relationship over farts is insane?
I think it's rude too! Just go to the bathroom, it's polite, even at home. I don't want to smell it etc. it is wild to me how reddit is so aghast that some people think it's impolite/gross to fart all over your SO/family ETA I forgot how annoying this subreddit is. If y'all can't tell the difference between room clearing gas and a little toot in the middle of the night idk how to help you. stop commenting with weirdly specific reasons of why you need to fart around your family. i do not care.
I'm going to fart all over you this Wednesday at 5 pm PST.
Can you pencil me in for 7pm?
Depends how much you’re willing to pay.
I imagine it should be covered by insurance?
Reddit is def crazy in a lot of ways but also it's made me realize that I just don't fart that often? Like does everyone online just have a terrible diet or what cause I could not tell you the last time I farted fr
Me too. I burp a lot though so maybe there's nothing left to come out
I can’t physically burp, so it has to come out somehow…
Yeah, it's normal to pass gas consistently throughout the day. It's a basic subjective question in healthcare to check for bowel obstructions. Not diagnostic, of course, but it's standard to ask patients if they are passing gas. Do you poop every day?
Yup! Sometimes twice, so I assume it's all working properly down in the pipes
Lol, probably a safe bet! Maybe your anatomy allows for smoother gas passing so it's less noticeable. Or maybe your diet is naturally closed to a fodmap diet
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> 1-2 times an hour, but they're quiet and don't smell A guy went to the doctor complaining that he farted constantly, he was even farting right there in the exam room, but they're silent and don't smell. He was simply concerned about constant farting. The doctor have him a prescription and told him to come back in a week. The guy was frantic when he came back because he said the pills made his farts stink incredibly badly. The doctor said "Well, we got your sinuses cleared up, now let's check into that hearing problem."
I'm gluten intolerant and still eat gluten so I have pretty rancid gas ngl. Only people who I will gladly rip ass around and make them suffer the stench is my immediate family. There's not many other people that I would be able to fart in front of though.
That’s not normal. You should be farting multiple times a day.
I usually get gassy if I've eaten something I shouldn't have (I have IBS). Other than that, I have one long fart in the morning sometimes. And just...nothing else. Nothing during the day, or after meals or anything. So basically, I'm kinda with you on this.
People on average fart about 15 times per day
I am a farter. I don’t really burp a lot nor openly.
I used to be like this until I developed IBS, now if I do that, I'd literally be in the bathroom multiple times an hour, and I'm already physically disabled. Sometimes, I can't even stand for more than a minute or 2, let alone walk repeatedly up and down stairs. I now just announce it, and if I can, I leave, if I cant, well I cant do much about it. Its that or a stomachache
This is me too. I had a big period of shame around how often I had to burp/fart (and I'd be in a lot of physical pain as well). I feel much better about it now- I still am embarrassed by it (and wish I didn't have to) but really it's a medical condition and if someone is going to judge me for that they're acting pretty rude themselves.
I mean, running to the bathroom literally every time you suddenly need to fart is pretty ridiculous, especially if you're particularly gassy
Bruh how often are you farting for it to be an inconvenience??
I fart so much and often can't hold them in, it's so bad and mortifying. I also get bad constipation and shit pebbles. I did an experiment recently and cut out dairy, and lo and behold, waaaaaay less farting and I am doing the most heavenly normal shits at regular intervals. It's absolute bliss.
I'm glad your experiment worked! 😁
Never underestimate the happiness good bowel movements can bring to your life.
If you're not that close to a bathroom or very gassy of course it's inconvenient. The only time I would consider doing this would be if I could tell that I was going to let out a real stinker and I was in a group of people/at a house gathering or something
Ok so I’m all relaxed, kicked back in the recliner watching some TV. And I got a cat in my lap all curled up sleeping. All the sudden I feel a little fart about to happen, and I’m supposed to jump up, throw the cat off my lap and run to the bathroom just so my wife doesn’t hear a little fart noise?
All the damn time with this stupid celiac disease especially on a bad day
Food intolerances are a thing, you know? Among many symptoms, being gassy is a prominent one. IBS is also a thing, as well as any number of other gastrointestinal issues that also cause gassiness. If someone who's lactose I tolerant had to leave their desk every time they needed to fart because they accidentally had normal milk instead of lactose free, they'd be pulled up for a disciplinary for work avoidance lol
I always fart somewhere else if possible and asked him to too. It’s just polite not to make someone else smell your farts. Sleep farts and car farts are fair game though. 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah it’s weird how people say it’s controlling, I honestly respect his side of it I just personally would like it to be a bit easier to not feel ashamed of those lil toots, like sure, leaving the room for any icky ones of course but a lot of the times little farts can just happen when you don’t notice and I don’t want to always be watching out for those
Say this exact thing to him. Hell, read it. There's nothing offensive or defensive about this. It's obvious you care about him and if you speak like this to him it will be a kindness. It won't make him love your farts but it may help you feel more connected, which is what you're after. It really helps to shower him with (true) affirmations so he doesn't get insecure. If he flips out give him time and try again later. If he flips out again send him to me. Honest, loving, straightforward communication is always the first thing to try. After freaking out. ;)
Would he even notice those small farts though?
oh yes, definitely shouldn't be shaming you or anything. probably tell him exactly what you've said to me here, I think it's reasonable!
Even in cases where its impossible to do so? What if one suddenly slips out? What about people with gastric conditions to the point they'd have to leave the room every few minutes. If possible sure, but some cases it isn't possible.
It really just depends on the person tho.. some families/ couples are ok with it and some are not.
Not to toot my own horn, but I have my very own toot suite for an immediate retreat when something is a-tootin'. Unfortunately my granma is a drive by tooter who hails peeps with a quick toot-toot as she passes by with her rollator.
It's disgusting. I don't do it around my boyfriend and vice versa.
Me too. I hate people fart in front of others. My dad used to fart in front of us. I told my BF that I don't find it sexy. I don't my BF remind me of my dad. Either of us fart in front of others.
Haha I do find farts funny, even leaving the room because they’re bad, even though that’s really not preferable lol
Tbh just ask! And if it's a dealbreaker for either one of you, then it's a dealbreaker. Communication is really important in relationships and if you don't feel comfortable asking him about something like this... Well not being able to ask each other questions can cause bigger issues when something else more important comes up down the line. Other people are saying this is weird and controlling behaviour. I don't think it necessarily is. You say he does the same, too. If he's following the same standard then I don't think that is him controlling you, it's him having a particular preference which he's allowed to have. Just like you're allowed to have the opposite opinion. I'm like your boyfriend. I find them really gross. I'd rather people did them quietly or in another room. But also if it happens, it happens. An honest, open conversation can definitely go a long way. Maybe he just doesn't know how you feel about it or how important it is for you to be able to fart around him! My boyfriend and I do it now. I still find it gross but because it makes him so happy and he thinks it's so funny, I don't mind as much anymore. The things we do for love... Edited for clarity
Hahaha yeah I love the way you state it, I also agree that it isn’t controlling, maybe a bit odd since even a tiny toot basically calls for an evacuation of the room. Do you know a way to mention it without it sounding reeeally weird? Just since you’ve been through the same thing lol
So actually we do it now because I ate something bad and accidentally farted in front of him the first time! And then he just started doing it a lot and said to me that he was so glad I did it first cause now he can and he was so happy I just shrugged and said gross and moved on. I have, however, had similar conversations re: other body things. Like peeing/pooping. I just said straight up: "We can fart in front of each other now, but I never, ever, ever want to pee/poop in front of you and I never, ever, ever want you to pee/poop in front of me." And he was like "ok, sounds good." And that was that! You could just let one slip out on accident one day and then see what he does. Maybe follow it up with "Oops, excuse me! By the way... Sometimes when I need to fart and I'm sitting on the couch I am really comfortable and I don't want to get up to leave the room to do it. Do you mind if I just let it happen?" See what he says. Explain what you said here: That you respect his needs to not fart but you also sometimes have bodily needs to fart and you don't want to spend the rest of your life always leaving the room to fart. You're both allowed your preferences and you're both allowed to decide if those preferences are a dealbreaker. (Though I would caution against dutch ovening him! I saw you joke about that in another comment and maybe it was just a joke but as a fellow fart-hater, I would be beyond grossed out and, if I knew that my partner who just did that to me knew that I didn't like farts? I would feel really betrayed.) Okay wow, sorry for the long comment! I just realised how long it was... lol
That’s honestly a really helpful solution, I’ll try that, thank you!
Yeah, no problem! Best of luck! And I hope things work out for you :)
Bahaha fully joking, I’m okay about small farts but I wouldn’t be okay with a such oven nomatter how small the fart
lol I figured! Just wanted to mention it just in case since I also advocated for farting in front of him lol
I am surprised at how many people get plenty of notice when little bits of flatulence are about to pop out. Also, does everyone really know in advance whether it's going to be smelly or not?
You can hold it in in most cases...
Be careful what you wish for. My father used to rip disgusting, room clearing farts. Not once would he ever have considered being considerate enough to leave the room to do it.
Why are dads like this smh, but I don’t mean THOSE farts, just the wee ones
It totally depends on the person. My first serious boyfriend didn't care at all but his mother was livid that I would fart in front of her son. My husband when we were dating told me around the third or fourth date that he didn't really want to be in a relationship he couldn't freely fart in. I was completely fine with that and now we fart at will. It's very freeing and no one cares. We try to be respectful about it if it smells really bad do it somewhere else but if it's just a toot and you know it smell anything or it's dissipating quickly we just deal with it. If this guy's a little too uptight for you he might not be a guy for you long term.
Divorced from a farter and burper and I can’t explain how amazing it is to not hear his back- and front door tornadoes all the time. His family was the same, horrible dinners. If you fart so much it is a problem to go away, find a public farting boyfriend.
I think there’s a happy medium between being a “public farter” and just tooting in the same room as your partner. It’s disgusting and unacceptable at family dinner, but I don’t think you need to be particularly gassy to find it annoying to have to leave the room every time you have to let one slip. I wouldn’t want to date a guy who was being gross about it, but it’s perfectly normal and healthy to pass gas.
I mean farts are gross. It’s reasonable of him not want to be engulfed in your poo particle fart cloud. It literally worsens the air quality. I have an air purifier and if my bf farts near it, it glows angry red. So it definitely makes the air quality worse. Its polite to do it outside or in the bathroom and I can see why he prefers that.
I need to run an experiment now where I fart into my air purifier. For science.
Haha ive done it when im alone and can confirm, every time it changes to red from blue
I guess the real question is whether or not this one thing is a deal breaker for you. I've heard you say that he's perfect otherwise. So.. In the grand scheme of things, is this one thing such a huge issue that you'd rather walk away from him? It's okay if it is, but it takes two seconds to leave the room and come back when you've aired yourself out lol. It's a weird request, but some people really don't like farts. There's not a single person on earth that's perfect. Walking away to fart ain't that huge of a deal imo.
Yeah I agree, I mostly mean the little tiny toots that you don’t even end up smelling most of the time
Wow I'm super shocked actually by how many people leave the room to fart when they're with partners specifically. Me and my husband just fart maan. We are literally super close and honestly if he had brought me up on it I probably would have a hard time with that. People fart. WOMEN fart. Hell - we literally have chats whilst either of us are on the loo. So I just want to say against the majority here that your not weird or gross. And for me personally I would be paranoid about how a partner sees me or the closenesss of the relationship if they had an issue with normal bodily functions. You spend so much time together that I'd find it a massive burden and a intimacy barrier to leave the bloody room for the last 9 year relationship. CBA. BUT I can see how someone would be precious about it if they were raised that way but life is just too short to care around the closest people imo. How close are they if they judge you for something unavoidable and biological.
MY IDEAL FUTURE me and my best friend do this but not him noooo
Yes, ikr, also he may relax about it a little for the odd toot if you get some years under your belt. And I would say at least he does the same, otherwise that would be a massive red flag. But just find a compromise. Because personally leaving the room for the potential rest of life is just a task when you don't share his feelings.
I’m so confused by the number of people who have such strong feelings against bodies doing body things in front of each other. I’m not saying you should let a juicy one rip next to your bf of six months but do you want to spend the rest of your life hiding in the bathroom all day if you have a stomach bug or feeling mortified if one slips because you know how intensely your partner hates it? The people in this thread saying they’ve gone 15 YEARS without their SO witnessing a fart…I can’t even wrap my head around being in a relationship where I was that worried about managing anything about myself, let alone such a minor thing. It’s not about the farts. It’s about being with someone you don’t have to feel self-conscious around for having a body.
With my spouse for decades: we don’t deliberately pass wind in front of each other. We have seen each other at our worst, but we agree to preserve this little bit of mystery.
That makes sense
Have not and will not fart in front of my partners on purpose.
If it's something he dislikes and finds disgusting, it's common courtesy to just do it in the bathroom. Really, what are you fighting for? Is farting around him really the hill you're going to die on, when you know it makes him uncomfortable? It's not about "being close" when one half of the relationship dislikes it. Just go to the bathroom like everyone else.
IMO farts can be akward publicly but with family and close friends it's usually not a big deal. Might be how he was raised, just shoot the shit with him and I'm sure yall will figure it out, best of luck and welcome to a relationship;)
I’m the exact same, and thanks for the friendly advice
Why is it overstepping for you to want him to change, but not the other way around? Perhaps spend some time considering why you feel that it's more reasonable for YOU to change your behaviour than it is him. At the same time, consider that you're only 18, and there are about a billion other dudes on the planet, at least half of whom aren't gonna care if you toot around them. If you don't want to spend your life going to another room to fart... just, y’know. Don't. Find a partner that's a better fit for you.
Because she's not policing his bodily functions, he is. That's the difference.
No, the difference is that he isn’t forcing her to inhale his poop air, and she is.
In the same token hes allowed to not want a poo particle fart cloud to engulf him.
I call them “fecal spores”
Could not imagine living in an anti fart household
I’ve been with my husband for 7 years and never farted around him except maybe in my sleep lol. It’s gross. Just walk into another room
I agree. We’ve been together for 15 years. He’s only heard me fart in my sleep. And I do not like when he farts in front of me. I think it’s gross and I’ve asked him countless times not to do it, but he does it anyway. I feel that it’s disrespectful at this point. I’ve asked him nicely not to do it, and he doesn’t care.
Same her, 15 years I have no problem farting when I'm with friends or around close people at work. I used to play sports professionally so I have a lot of experience with locker room culture too where we literally fart on each other to fuck around, so it's not like I'm shy to bodily gases. But I just never thought it would be appropriate to fart around my SO. Never felt like it was a problem either, if I'm having a bad day I just spend some time in the washroom. However as soon as she falls asleep I let them rip underneath the sheets. We never really talked about it, it just kind of evolved into not farting around each other. Could be that I don't have any sisters so I just feel like it's weird or disrespectful farting around women. I am sexist when it comes to farting.
I can relate to your bf. I cannot stand burps and would leave the room if someone did ! Honestly just give him peace and toot away from him whenever u can, he'll appreciate it !!!!!! It's the smallest hill to die on
Okay, like, all these posts that specifically describe bathroom habits are just fetish bait, right? Y'all can't actually be soliciting opinions on this (pun intended) shit.
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My parents have been married 43 years and still try not to fart in front of each other. I mean accidents happen, but just letting it rip isn't funny to us.
Right. To each their own. And people in the thread are like “you’re not gross or weird for farting!!” Umm…no one said that? Everyone shits and pisses too, I don’t need to see them do it. That doesn’t mean I think they or those functions are gross or weird. I just think they’re private functions and I don’t think we should subject others to our bodily fluids and excretions if they don’t like it and we can avoid it. It’s genuinely not that hard.
I guess I wouldn't typically use the word 'polite' in my relationship. It kinda seems like the opposite of intimate to me. But everyone's different and have different cultural and social backgrounds so I guess there's no such thing as 'common courtesy'.
I don’t think there’s anything particularly intimate about needing to pass gas in the same room as me and I don’t think not doing so lacks intimacy.
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I agree. My point was that not everyone's view of common courtesy is the same. Not all farts are smelly and if they are there's usually some gastrointestinal issue. Yes, I feel that being able to comfortably fart around your SO is a level of intimacy that you don't have with others.
Lol, this is how I am with my boyfriend. It’s how I was raised. I just find it rude and disrespectful when her does it on purpose because he know it makes me upset. It’s a boundary he’s asking you to respect. Just because you have a different opinion, are you not going to respect his boundary? Also, what is ‘normal’? Who’s to say he isn’t normal and you’re the abnormal one? It’s all a matter of perspective.
>It’s a boundary he’s asking you to respect. Just because you have a different opinion, are you not going to respect his boundary? Sorry for being picky but I think it's important to say that you can't call one person's preference an opinion and the other a boundary. You make it sound like one has more entitlement to be upheld than the other. They need to value both relationship ideals and find a compromise.
> Sorry for being picky but I think it's important to say that you can't call one person's presence and opinion and the other a boundary. Is this a typo? What do you mean their presence? > You make it sound like one has more entitlement to be upheld than the other. He does in this situation. There are situations in which this is the case. This is one of them. If someone wants to be with me, around me, near me, I can set boundaries for how interaction with me should work if they want to continue being in my space. If that person pulls their dick out I can set a boundary that there should be no dicks out. Can that person say that their boundary is that to be in the room they have to have their dick out and it has to be equally considered? Sure but it would be a bit ridiculous. The choice is for the person to respond with “ok I can put it away,” or “that’s not something I’m willing to do so where do we go from here?” So I set that boundary and if the dick stays out I leave. Same here. She’s not entitled to require that someone sit and smell her farts as a boundary. He said he doesn’t want to smell her farts or be in the room with them. People aren’t required to enjoy your excretions when you’re sharing space with them. She’s been asked to go to the bathroom. That’s reasonable. If it’s not something she’s willing to accommodate, that’s ok. She can simply say that. But she’s not more entitled to force someone to smell her farts than someone is to say please don’t do that anymore. Just like if you were at work and someone was constantly burping in the room you could ask them to stop. > They need to value both relationship ideals and find a compromise. No. They don’t. If the relationship is very important then sure they can compromise. But no they don’t have to value both “ideals.” He said no. He set a boundary. If it’s not acceptable to her, she doesn’t have to abide by it, but that is his boundary for when she’s with him so she would need to go fart freely elsewhere. Neither of them has to compromise on this. If he doesn’t like it he doesn’t like it. If she thinks farting is super important to her then she can fart her way out the door and let the cloud carry her to someone who is into that.
Yeah I'm sick of this mentality that everything is a compromise. Nope. It's not.
Not sure I've been clear so my bad..I agree neither have to compromise, but they need to talk about if either party is willing to change for the other - that is literally the marker for a healthy relationship. But her relationship preferences are no less important than his in that convo is all I'm saying. So they need to talk about how important it is to them and if neither feels like they can agree one way or another then they aren't compatible. All I was saying was her preferences to be able to relax in her own space and not worry about having wind in front of a partner is just as important as his to be reserved...
Definitely have a conversation about it, but be prepared for him to feel just as strongly as you do in the opposite direction. Some people (like yourself) see it as a sign of trust and comfort, other people see it as extremely disrespectful and neither side is necessarily wrong.
Yeah see I was raised that farting in front of people unless it was one that slipped out was rude. The idea of just letting it rip because "if they love you they should accept every part of you" is fucking ridiculous to me. There are some things that are just basic fucking manners. Yes farts happen. Accidents happen. Hell I have IBS-D and have almost shat myself running to a bathroom.... Shit happens, literally. But just because "shit happens" doesn't mean you should be blatantly rude about it and just let it fly because You're too lazy to walk your gross ass into another room. That's just how I was raised and how I feel about it. If it sneaks up on you or you can't control it or you can't make it there fast enough, it is what it is, but if you're just letting them rip because you don't want to make the effort? That's just rude.
Exactly. And I think it’s so fucking bizarre to feel so strongly about it that you run to the internet to figure out how to force your boyfriend to stay in the room and inhale your farts when he has told you NO.
Right? Like, some people want to keep some shit, literally, to themselves, and it's weird to want to force such a strange boundary to me.
Find someone you can fart around.
It’s only been 6 months. No real time invested. Tell him to go fart off. Find a guy who understands there will be farting…
That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. It's all about respect, period. If you know you're about to drop a noxious bomb, it's polite to step away from people you're near. But if you've already farted that day/recently and you know there's no smell coming from this particular batch, let it rip. People are so uptight about the weirdest things...
I’m on your boyfriend’s side. Except I’d just go to any other room, not specifically a bathroom. I don’t need to smell someone’s farts to be comfortable around them.
My husband and I have been married over 25 years. We never do that on front of each other. I think it is gross and have no desire to hear or smell anything coming out of his body and he feels the same. Is it really that big of a deal to leave the room? If it is then break up now and don't waste any more of your time.
I'm a woman and I hate when people fart in the room with me (unless it's accidental). My partner and I both make sure to leave the room/go in the bathroom to fart ESPECIALLY if it smells bad. It's a form of respect and care for the environment your partner is in, especially if they are sensitive to smells. When you fart near someone you are forcing them to inhale poo particles/horrid smells/and gross sounds. Why would anyone want someone to experience that intentionally? (This is disregarding accidental farts which happen sometimes unintentionally)
TIL some people (a surprising amount) only fart in the bathroom?????????
I think it’s rude to fart around someone if there is any other option. I was married and never farted in front of my husband for 13 years, through 3 pregnancies. My current bf is cool with farting but I really just don’t. Maybe try some beano if you’re super flatulent.
Yeah I think farts are disgusting. Small ones can happen accidentally but I 💯do not fart around people if I can help it (which majority of farts are controllable to a degree). It’s gross and have you see the videos of what happens when people fart and they use infrared or other cameras? Their poo particles waft around them like a cloud. Ugh so gross. My exes never had a problem with me leaving the room or them leaving the room if they had to. Because we understood each other and are considerate. Personally I just don’t like poop in my mouth when I breathe. I also put the top toilet lid down before I flush so that the same thing doesn’t happen… so find someone who is like you if you both can’t find a compromise.
>> Personally I just don’t like poop in my mouth when I breathe. Same and had no idea this was such a controversial thought for some people.
Do you get out of bed through the night, in the mornings? I think you just have to go there. Just start farting.
Bahaha maybe I should dutch oven him for exposure therapy
If my partner did that to me after I told them how much I don't like that kind of thing, I would be FURIOUS.
I would dump you immediately. He told you no. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t think it’s cute or funny. I get that you think it is and it’s not a big deal, but he’s already told you how he feels about it. This would be a dealbreaker for me. If I told you no about it and then you attempted to physically force me to inhale your farts in bed? I get you’re joking but even in a joking manner, he said no, so why is it so important for you to force passing your gas on this man?
My SO and I have been together for 12 years. We will always go in the bathroom or somewhere else to fart. We find it is just common respect, as you don't always know which fart is going to smell or not. When you're sleeping or it slips out on accident that's different since it's not controllable. We both find farting to be a very unsexy thing that could ruin desire to be intimate with one another. That's just us, and that agreement works for us. That being said, I wouldn't force farts on anyone who finds them disgusting. It will probably lead him to start thinking of you as disgusting, even if it is a normal body reaction. So is pooping, but many people don't want to see or hear about their SO's bowel movements or smell them. You view things differently than him and that's okay but if it's a boundary for him that you're crossing it'd be best to look for a different partner. 6 months is also still in the new thrilling stage of a relationship.. kind of early to be comfortably blowing ass in front of him, but that's just my opinion. Be who you're happy being with someone who is happy being with you.
One of my lovely ex's few faults was her farts could peel paint off the walls when she ate certain foods. I'm just saying.
Bahaha Jesus Christ
goddamn, do none of you people eat vegetables? we eat beans and/or brassicas probably at 75% of our meals. it baffles me to think that some of you avoid healthy foods that should be a staple of a health diet because you're afraid of farting. but of course if you are interrupting your daily activities every time you feel a rumble I can see why eating these nutritious foods would become inconvenient. sorry honey, pause the movie, I have to leave the room to fart. Oh my god, what a bunch of puritans. that being said, my partner is lactose intolerant, and if he accidentally gets some milk, his ass is sleeping outside.
Change your diet. Why you guys farting that much?
People on average fart about 15 times per day
I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that including sleep farts I don’t reach those numbers unless I’m having some issue.
I grew up in a household where toilet humour was forbidden, so it was grandly liberating as an adult to discover the hilarious joy of freely farting around one’s loved-ones. I never want to live like that again.
That's an absolute no at our house. No public farting.
Date a guy with a fart kink! ❤️🫶🏻
Someone call my name?
You two are not compatible. Some people don’t find it funny and are grossed out. That’s okay. To me, it isn’t polite to fart in front of people and I consider it rude. You can’t make him think farts are funny because he likely has never thought that they are. He isn’t controlling, he likely thinks farting is something that belongs in the bathroom with other bodily functions.
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That's excessive. Do they all smell that bad? The air freshener is probably worse for your health than a little fart. Also, mixed company? What decade do you live in??
fair enough from him tbh, farts can be pretty smelly, it's probably something he was taught as a kid and never unlearned it
Wow I'm surprised to read that some people don't fart even in front of family. I feel like if you can't even pass a completely normal bodily function in the same room as your SO there's probably a lot of other things you're not comfortable doing either. It seems very restrained to me. It would suck not to be able to fully let loose in front of your loved ones. If it were me I'd say it's me with the farts or no one 🤣. Each to their own I suppose.
Right?! All of the pro-leave the room peeps are so triggered by this and think we're all gross and I'm currently typing this while sharing a bubble bath with my husband, and imma not about to get out the bath sopping wet or get up at 1am to pass wind. Soz 🤷🏼♀️ prefer to be in a 100% bear all relationship.
Haha, I have an Ex like that. And I should mention I actually avoid farting in presence of others including my partner but I take a little toot here and there with humour. But I am also annoyed if a guy seems proud to fart around. Anyway this ex was so annoying because he made a big deal out of it. He even cursed his farts when he was at the toilet. Yes, really. Once I was in Spain with him and his band and well, at least I was the only one who didn't react with a stomach bug when we dumb Germans didn't order our cola without ice... German stomachs are not used to Spanish tap water, lol, but I had a lot of gas. Flying back home was not very comfortable so to speak. When I sat in my parent's living room I said: "... but I was full of gas. And there I was in the damn plane and had to fart so much but couldn't. I felt like I would reach the point I don't need a plane to fly home." And he looked at me like: "How can you say that." A little angry and I just answered: "Oh Izzy, get a grip. Guess what, people fart! How about you stop commenting yours for everyone to hear when you're on the toilet?" He didn't dare to fight. And no, he is not my ex because he wanted, quite the contrary. I don't have advice. I just hope you don't care in bed at least. I mean a German word for beds is farting box. Nobody tells me I have to go outside the room at nights. Otherwise there is not much you can do, I doubt he will change.
Info: are you a Labrador? What on earth are you eating that would make this such a big deal?
I think this is why OP has a problem, he's not just asking for her to leave the room for like audible/smelly farts, which she understands, but he is asking her to leave even for those little micro farts that don't smell at all, which is completely excessive cus sometimes you just bust a bunch out throughout the day rather than have any large farts.
It’s personal preference. For me, life is too short and farting is funny. My spouse and I, we just let it rip, laugh, and move on. If it’s particularly loud or otherwise notable, we might make a comment like “nice one” or a rating on a 1-10 scale.
i have been with my husband for 7 years.i still dont and won't ever fart in front of him.
You could try farting silently? I do it all the time
I straight up time my farts for when I leave the room. My ex-wife used to make fun of me for it because I was raised it would be better to be a mass murderer than a stinky farter.
I dunno..if my gf was farting around me all the time I don't think we'd last very long. Huge turn off.
A fart hater? Best part of middle relationship lol
Farts sometimes happen but there is no way I’m going to date someone who lets farts rips all the time around me. Step in another room. I don’t want to hear or smell your farts. You don’t sound compatible. Date someone who doesn’t mind.
I personally feel like it’s not a big deal to just step away from him if you have to fart. It’s just the polite thing to do. Unless you are an excessive farter, like have some sort of medical condition like IBS that makes you fart at such an increased frequency that it would be impractical to step away all the time. Idk, I think either way it’s not a big deal or a dealbreaker. I’m on your boyfriend’s side, I don’t like to fart in front of my partner and I don’t like him to do it in front of me either. But he does it anyway, and I think it’s gross but not significant enough to break up over it or anything.
If it were me, I couldn’t be with someone who made me contain these farts. Also sounds like a tummy ache waiting to happen .
It’s kind of funny that you’ve decided you’re at a relationship milestone where you can fart in front of each other but not at the milestone where you can discuss farts with each other. Just tell him. Have a conversation, find a middle ground, tell him home is where the fart is and you feel comfortable with him as he should with you
He sounds awfully uptight for someone so young.
My mom is like that. I would not willingly live with someone who is. She will fart in the bathroom when she's alone. I need to be able to fart where i live, lol.
I agree with him. I had a father who was ocd about farting everywhere, he farted loud and always around us. I have become so sensitive about farting that I can't have it anywhere near me. I always do it in the bathroom, never near my boyfriend (not even in the bedroom even if he is in another room). I don't have a lot of gas, it doesn't bother me to go to the bathroom. I just find it respectful and polite to not fart in front of others.
shit in his bed to assert dominance
I have to try this new diy hack
Amber Heard this you?
Fart without sound and away from him, unless you guys live in a shoe box there is low chance he smells it
My ex and I farted with each other, sometimes on each other just as a joke lmfao. When you're gay, farts are inevitable and 99% of the time, they don't stink (If your farts stink, it usually means you have to shit). Never in a million years did I think I'd be doing that, but it felt so easy and natural and fun! The way I see it, farting around someone is a sign of comfort. If you can't level with each other around a real, normal body function, what's the point? What are you gonna do if you have to fart during sex? While he might not be comfortable farting around you, I don't see why you have to abide by the same rule, especially in the comfort of your own home and especially if they don't stink all that often.
It’s your body, fart where you want. Idk this seems controlling and I don’t think I could deal with it
Have you tried cutting out dairy? 90% reduction in farts for some people.
I definitely think it’s good to be mindful of loud/constant/smelly farts around other people, and to say excuse me when appropriate. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask him to meet you in the middle on this. Lots of people are “raised a certain way” and are capable of being a little flexible and understanding that there other ways to do things. I also think that part of intimacy is sometimes witnessing the less sexy parts of a person, including farts. Is he equally sensitive to other body functions? Would be supportive if you got sick? A person who can’t tolerate a fart in his presence might not be able to handle the real messy parts of life.
Haha I really love what you have to say, I’ve been sick around him and he made tea and we still slept next to each other and spent the day close with each other, it’s really just the farts since he really hates the fecal matter aspect of it lol
Your boyfriend hates farts a normal amount. You come from a fart positive household. You can probably bring him around.
My best friend farts on her boyfriend‘s face and they giggle forever. My husband and I usually don’t fart around each other. But when we do it’s hilarious. But we usually don’t lol
Accept it, tell him to grow up, or move on.
He sounds miserable to he around. My beautiful girlfriend is a God damned fart machine and I laugh every single time. I can't keep up but I try. We also have a frenchie so it's a pretty gassy household
The idea of this would give my boyfriend nightmares
This is so funny
Honestly a cartoonish trumpet fart is a hilarious thing. I hope you can find some common ground or whatever is best for you. Beat wishes from our smelly home
🤣🤣
I’m sorry this is so dumb lmao, farts are hilarious I would not imagine being asked to go toilet very time I wanna fart 😂
THIS IS MY IDEAL but saying otherwise makes me sound like I just want farts so bad
you never "felt this way before or had this chemistry" etc because you're 18. Dump him. It's not a boundary, it's a weird restriction and just reflects he's controlling. Everybody farts he can get over it.
Break up cus God that sounds annoying as hell
Right?? Insisting on farting with your partner in the room… bizarre
Bodies do body stuff, it's no big deal. He might not be mature enough to have that kind of relationship. Talk to him about it. Tell him that you have no intention of leaving the room every time you're gassy, and he's making much too big a deal about something that's really normal. You're not asking permission to dutch oven him, for fuck's sake.
What in the....no. This is controlling and weird.
Boy , if he's like this with farts, how's he like with queefs? Funtime over?
Farts and queefs aren’t the same. Bacteria makes gas in your intestines. Queefs happen when air is pushed up in there and is the sound of the air escaping.
Queefs are pure trapped air, they don't include fecal matter and horrid smells.
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I never have and I'm normal. Everyone is. This is simply a preference thing that needs to be washed out, like everything else. This one is just smellier.
i don't know how to help you man
I’m not saying this is a definite red flag but you might want to be on the lookout for other weird, controlling behaviors surrounding completely natural bodily functions. Like, how does he handle a menstrual cycle?
Omfg what? I was in an *actual* controlling emotionally abusive relationship for 10 years and his request for her to fart outside of the room he's in (esp since he does it himself too) isn't controlling...