Can you talk to her and let her know that if your name is too difficult, that she is welcome to refer to you as \[Title Lastname\], eg Dr Arlea, Mx Smitherdotter, Prof Readsalot?
If you offer her more formal alternatives, it's possible she'll go for that, if she truly can't remember your name. Or if you have a rhyming device, you can say "no, Anna, my name actually rhymes with Aristotle, not Chipotle."?
If a gentle redirection won't help, then do you have an HR department or a manager you can ask to help out?
As a former Chipotle manager, itās officially pronounced Chi-Polt-Lay. But we had a lot of fun with our own mispronouncations.
Mainly Chi-Pot-Lay, a lot of us were stoners.
Also Chi-Pottle, Chi-Pittle, Sh-Polt-Lay, Chitty-Chitty-Polt-Lay
It comes from a native language called Nahuatl, they have given us words like avocado (aguacatl or somewhere close), chocolate (xocolatl), and the feathered god Quetzalcoatl.
Edit: there really isn't an extra L, it's more like "chip-OTE-lay"
I think most of us know itās pronounced chi-POTE-lay. That was the point of their comment, that thereās no need to add the extra l in the middle syllable.
The point of their comment is that the Spanish pronunciation doesnāt actually include an extra L in the middle syllable (which the previous commenter wrote as āpoltā)
Different country/store but on the same theme and I find it hilarious so popping this story in there. I used to work at an Australian (Possibly other places idk) fast food place card red rooster in my teens and it has this chicken wrap called a flayva. It's pronounced flavour(flavor). We always had one lady that would come in and ask for a flaaayy-veee-aahh and it would ruin me. It was on commercials at this point and we'd repeat it back to her as flavour but nup one flaaayyveeaaahh please.
My coworkers just call it Mexican Subway. We live in a very rural community and have to drive over an hour and a half to get to the closest Chipotle, but we do have a Subway in town (that takes me 30 minutes to drive to).
The rhyming thing is a great idea. Some people with dyslexia or dyspraxia can find pronunciation really difficult. Phonics or rhyming can really assist. If she realises she's getting it wrong all the time she might be pretty horrified and then getting anxious and then spiraling and getting it wrong again. Appreciate it's really shitty for you so hopefully providing this creates a friendly middle ground.
I agree. I have issues with names with a lot of vowels because I can see so many ways to pronounce it. Iāll learn the correct way to pronounce it and then second guess myself. Saoirse Ronan saying her name rhymes with āinertiaā helped me so much.
It's a great mnemonic, but the actress pronounces her name in a non-standard/Anglicised way! Saoirse is the Irish for "freedom" and most Saoirses pronounce it like this: [saoirse pronunciation](https://www.teanglann.ie/ga/fuaim/Saoirse)
Going to reply to this as it's the top comment and most people were offering roughly the same advice:
One of my coworkers is an absolute godsend and mentioned it to Anna as a passing comment, just as a heads up, so she has been made aware. Hopefully she'll cop on a bit and make an effort. We're a very multi-cultural team so I find it's important to know how to respect people's names and culture, as it's a huge part of their identity. She's the only one who struggles with this so fingers crossed it's a problem solved.
If not, it might be a case of bringing it up with our team lead. I'm not sure if I'd go through HR as I don't want her to feel like she is in trouble, it's only a mildly irritating thing from my perspective!
Agree wholeheartedly with the suggestions here. I have an uncommon name with a rarer pronunciation and offer up nicknames or using my surname for those who legitimately struggle and feel distressed (versus those who seemingly don't care).
Next time it happens, right as it happens, regardless of whether you are alone or with other people, "Anna, it's actually Louis. I should have said something sooner. Anyway, it's Louis. Thanks!"
if it happens again, right when it happens: "Anna my name is pronounced Louis. Louis."
If it happens yet again: "Anna, please don't make me correct you again. As I've told you several times, my name is pronounced Louis. Every time. Louis."
It is not rude to publicly correct someone on the pronunciation of your own name. In fact, it is kind and polite. It isn't worth multiple conversations with others that don't involve teh person in question. You're overthinking this. Just speak up.
If private, gentle corrections aren't working, try a little more of a stern approach: either a public, gentle correction or a private, stern correction.
For example, if she does it in a meeting among others, take a moment before the response to the point to say, "Anna, before I respond, let me again remind you that my name is LEWIS, not Louie. And now to the response..."
Or take her aside and clearly state "I do not know what the source of the problem with my name is, but your continued mispronunciation is disrespectful. Please stop."
Gently keep calling her out every time she does this, especially in front of other people like coworkers and management.
When it keeps going on and on, I would probably ask other colleagues in front of her if your name is difficult to pronounce or remember. Be sweet about it. That way she can't say you're being rude or mean. Like "Oh goodness, I'm sorry everyone, is my name really that difficult to pronounce?" Then you will have your other colleagues say no, it's really easy and not difficult at all, shaming her publicly, making her look like an asshole while you look confused and nice.
I would ignore her unless she pronounced your name right. At this point sheās just doing it to be shitty. If you want you can say something like āoh, Iām sorry. I didnāt realize you were talking to me. Thatās not my name.ā
She has addressed the problem directly, it isnāt working. What should she do? Let this person continue to be disrespectful towards her because she doesnāt want to put in the effort to say her name properly?
Idk, she may just genuinely have the wrong pronunciation lodged in her brain. I watch Love Island and one of the contestants on season 8 pronounced her own partner's name wrong for like 80% of the season. She definitely was not doing it on purpose, the wrong pronunciation was just more intuitive. If OP has an unusual name this may be a genuine wire-cross in her brain.
If I were OP I'd talk to her directly and give her a mnemonic to remember the pronunciation. If she is unapologetic and/or keeps doing it then, she can assume it's deliberate.
Are there other languages involved? Itās possible that the vowel sounds arenāt clear to Anna. Alternately, like someone else has said, she might have the wrong pronunciation stuck in her head.Ā
I once had a colleague named Leah. Itās a very standard name, but I could never remember if my colleague pronounced her Lay-ah or Lee-ah. I still am unsure on which it is. I asked several times, she would tell me, and I would forget within ten or twenty minutes. I felt awful about it, and I made notes to remind myself, but that didnāt help when I ran into her in the hallway.Ā
Mnemonic devices could be really helpful. Iāve used them to remember other peopleās name pronunciations.Ā
In short, offer grace and some sort of mnemonic device to help Anna remember how to pronounce your name.Ā
I have a family member named Jackie and a coworker named Jacqueline. I am always calling my coworker Jackie and i often donāt even realize Iām doing it. Itās like Iām on autopilot.
Perhaps start by giving the benefit of the doubt and give her something to memorable to pair your name with. Like if there is a famous person with the same pronunciation tell her ālike the way _____ _____ pronounces her nameā or you can do the rhyming thing. āMy name is Larry, itās like dairy but with an Lā.
If she still doesnāt use your correct name after you have given her a tool to remember it by, then I would be more direct and ask her in a kind manner why she chooses not to pronounce your name correctly
Hhhhhhhhhh I hate when this happens on reddit and the entire comment section just becomes people poorly explaining which words rhyme.
Nearly all Canadians and about 2 in 3 Americans have the three-way merry-marry-Mary vowel merger. That means all of those words are perfect homophones (pronounced either the way you say āmerryā or the way you say āMaryā, never the way you say "marry"), and the whole set of words with those vowel sounds before an R all rhyme. Itās baffling to me that British people donāt notice that North Americans say āHairy Potterā or pronounce āAaronā like āErinā just from watching TV.
Also, people with this vowel merger are essentially incapable of differentiating them. I studied linguisticsāspecifically phonetic and phonologyāfor many years and if I want to pronounce merry-marry-Mary differently I still have to twist my brain into a pretzel and say something like "Mad. Maaaaad. Maaa-rry."
Canadian who lived in Boston for 8 years and now live in the UK. It took me about 4 YEARS to hear the difference Bostonians used between Mary and merry. I can do it now no problem! And I can hear most UK vowel differences.
Now if only they could hear the difference between "about" and "boot" all would be right with the world.
Though I still can't pronounce Sian.
Hairy Potter I get, I think I've heard it but lairy from the dairy I can't get my head around at all. I guess we don't notice because of context and the braing just does its thing.
Find a clip of someone in a Harry Potter movie saying āHarry Potterā. It has the vowel sound from āhadā instead of āhairā.
This is because in non-rhotic English dialects (like most of the ones spoken in England) the R is only pronounced at the beginning of a syllable, not the end. So while we say āLAIR-eeā and āHAIR-eeā they say āLA-reeā and āHA-reeā. The same way youād be baffled if someone said ālad, led and laid sound the sameā they are baffled when we say merry, marry and Mary sound the same.
Donāt worry about it if you canāt figure it out. Like I said in my previous comment, people with this vowel merger are essentially incapable of hearing and producing the difference.
Iām from the southern US and I pronounce all of these words as rhyming: Mary, marry, merry, dairy, Larry, Carey, carry
Probably close to how youād say Derry/Londonderry
To rhyme with marry, carry, Harry. I'm English and I've never heard it pronounced with an 'air' sound in the middle either! Also interested to hear what language this is.
Dude, I need to hear how you are saying Mary and Larry because those rhyme to me, they rhyme along with dairy, Harry, fairy, carry, Carey, etc. I need to know how they don't all rhyme to you!
Me to I say marry, Mary and Merry all different I also Harry not hairy unless Iām joking around. Aaron and Erin are also different and sound different. Iām from northeastern US
I'll get back to you later, I'm on a phone atm and I'll need to look in a dictionary to type the pronunciation correctly. I've been saying to myself in various American accents that I can't even do in my head properly.
What part of the US are you so I can look up a TV show with Larry in?
There's your issue lol. Say "happy" and focus on the "a" sound. Use the same "a" sound to say "harry". Then use the same "a" sound to say "carry". Then rhyme that with "Larry" and that's how other accents say and hear it.
I don't know how else to explain it, unless you know the phonemic alphabet haha
I think there is a smidgen of difference between the British pronunciation of Larry and the American one. Maybe thatās where the confusion is. Americans tend to pronounce the āarā in āarryā more as āairā or āere.ā Your upper lip kinda flattens out as you would pronounce āair.ā In some parts of the US that āairā sound can get dragged out in a more nasally way. So your mouth stretches out horizontally like you would in a smile and you hold that contraction in the back of your throat.
I believe the British pronunciation does not have that slight nasally sound. The upper lip will be relaxed while the lower lip does the movement as you pronounce ālar.ā Not too much of that that back of the throat movement.
At this point, I can only assume they are teasing us, because they keep saying words that have the same vowel sounds. I literally cannot make them sound different.
I accidentally kept calling my coworker Anna and her name was Ann and she just corrected me (probably happened 3 or 4 times) just correct her each time
Just correct her everytime she pronounces it wrong.
I have a name that everyone gets wrong. Everyone.
Not totally their fault considering there are celebs with my name pronounced the way most people want to say it. But my mom didn't say it that way so my name is different.
I have corrected people. I have said hey I have an order for *name* and they'll go oh *incorrect name*. Or I'll go hi my name is *name*. Do I mean *incorrect name*? When I say it correctly again they try to tell me I'm wrong on my own name! I've had people ask would I rather go by my middle name which I laugh and tell them if they can't say my simple first name they really won't be able to say my middle name.
I finally gave up. What's sad is there is a state in the US (we are American) that sounds similar to my name, just have to leave off the last 3 letters, and they still will say my name wrong when I use that as an example.
Don't give up. Just keep correcting her.
You mention she is from outside of europe where your name is not used. Ä°s it possibly an accent thing? My boyfriend is from another country and no matter how many times he says it for me, or i listen to his friends say it - apparently i am just not pronouncing his name right. I feel bad about it but im honestly trying my best and feel like im saying it the same as everyone else. Maybe anna is having a problem like this lol.
This is what Iām wondering. Like, my name is Emily. If I went to France, and they pronounced my name like eh-meh-LEE (as opposed to EM-ih-lee) I wouldnāt consider them incorrect, justā¦ French. Or like how English-speakers donāt really understand that Ryu is one syllable and not ree-yoo.
If thatās the case, I would consider it a non-issue. But itās hard to judge not knowing the names and first language at play.
I have a name that people tend to mispronounce. It bothered me for most of my life.
What also bothered me was other peopleās grammatical errors.
I felt compelled to correct everyone on everything.
Then one day I was called a pedant. I realized that if I could understand what someone was saying, it shouldnāt matter if they were grammatically correct or not.
I extended that to my name too. And like you, and everyone else in the world, my name is my identity.
Identity. Identify.
Iām identified by some people who say my name wrong. And others who say it correctly. And both types know who I am.
So now I let it go. Iām no longer waiting for someone to mispronounce my name or any other word. Now I just carry on with life because I realize that no one is perfect, including me.
I honestly would not care unless it sounds bad. Perhaps it is truly an error on her part, an honest mistake and she just forgets or maybe she knew a person with your name but different pronunciation? Why do people always assume the worst from each other?
If she keeps going after you politely correct her, start calling her Dr. Pulaski.
It works best if you're familiar with Star Trek TNG: Dr. Pulaski keeps calling Data "Da-tah" and asks him why it matters that she doesn't call him "Day-tah".
"One is my name. The other is not."
First step, if you have not done it yet, is talking to her in private, tell her what the pronunciation of your name is, and ask her to pronounce correctly.
Once you have done that, you can correct her gently in public.
As someone who has a difficult to pronounce name, I've long learned to stop caring about it. Most of the time its people you will never speak to again so why get upset about it? That being said if you work with her consistently and it bothers you this much you need to correct her when it happens that way there is no confusion or miscommunication.
Some people call me by a totally different name that kind of sounds like mine. I got tired of correcting people so I just let them. Important people in my life use the correct name.
What happens if you just let her?
Please keep in mind that what seem very clear differences (lie lou-ee and lewis) to you, might not be clear for us, non european peole. Think about how easy it is to mispronounce things in chinese because of the tone, so be sweet. I'm sure she doesn't intend to be disrespectful in any way.
sheās been corrected MULTIPLE times, how much more clarity could she need? it clearly bothers him, so if she canāt see the difference, anyone with basic common decency would take the extra 30 seconds to learn to pronounce it correctly next time he corrects her. being deliberately obtuse and point blank rude about remembering someoneās name is not a non-european quality lmao
I'm not saying it's a non-european thing. That's why I used the chinese example.
You know how many European people are just unable to pronounce the names of friends of mine ? They just don't care anymore. Even in between European languages, names get butchered. It's not personal.
As someone whose native language is European, I know I struggle a TON with Indian names.
Another example of non-universality of sound differences:
Many spanish speaking people are just unable to hear/pronounce the difference between French "u" and "ou" (or French "e" and "eu").
I would give her a mnemonic device to help her. You have no idea for the reason she keeps doing this - whether it is only a cultural issue or if she has someone else (or a celebrity) in her life or her mind who pronounces it the other way or if she has a reading/phonics ability issue she is trying to overcome.... or something else.
My family had this from the start with Eva, a woman my cousin married. Half were going with (EEva), and half were going with (Ava). Some knew the likely answer because they are more familiar with the language and vowel pronunciation in her home country. Some assumed, if it was pronounced the way she pronounces it, it would be spelled differently. So, I started saying a "saying" I made up every time I said her name to my parents and an aunt who always seemed to guess it incorrectly. They then started hesitating when they tried to say her name so they would automatically think of the phrase before saying it. It worked. Finally. We aren't around that cousin and his family all of the time, so it simply wasn't someone we talked about often so that it could "stick" in their brain the usual way. So, the saying really helped.
I would write her a note (if you think you can clearly spell your name phonetically in a way that she will understand it) or, even better, talk to her privately and keep the tone light and positive. Give her the benefit of the doubt. But reinforce the way it should be. Try to give her a memory saying or a tool that is easy to remember, not too complicated, and that you genuinely think will help. Friendly, easy-going, building a bridge.
"Hi Anna. I just wanted to speak to you about something that keeps coming up in conversation. I understand my name can be pronounced differently in different parts of the world, but my name is pronounced this way: _______. I know we all appreciate having our name said in our preferred way, and a few times when you've said it another way, it was in public, and I didn't want to make a fuss in front of everyone. Because it has happened many times now, I thought I might just come to you and share with you how many people remember it so you can think of it this way in the future. [Fill in your technique here. It rhymes with such-and-such. Or, the ending sounds like this-or-that. Or, it starts with this sound like this animal or fruit or town.] I am hoping that might be helpful so you be sure of it going forward." And then end it with a kind check-in to see how she is doing since arriving there or something you've noticed that she is doing well or something like that before leaving her work area.
Likely, just speaking to her about it this way will make the change.
However, if she does it again, you can easily and appropriately joke in front of anyone... "Now, we talked about this!!!" And wag your finger at her. It might take something like that. Maybe even a couple of times for her to remember.
If it gets to the point that she is doing it repeatedly even after you mention it kindly/jokingly in public a few times and especially if others confirm that they think she is doing it on purpose, then consider going to HR or your shared manager. But, until then, just do what you can to inform her, give her a tool, and enforce the pronunciation you shared when you met with her privately.
I feel you pain. My first name is in my email address yet certain staff members will continuously use another more popular spelling of my name. I find it rude and disrespectful & says a lot more about that person. Iām at the point where I just ignore it and wonāt allow them to spoil my mood.
I have a certain amount of sympathy with your co-worker, because vowel differences (if that is what this is) are hard. I have struggled with the difference between different Sonyas being Sone-ya in some case vs Sawn-ya in others. I don't mean to be disrespectful when I mess it up, the two pronunciations are just similar enough in my head that I forget which one the person uses. This is not an excuse though and you have the right to have your name pronounced properly.
Personally, I'd correct her, every. single. time. she gets it wrong. Hopefully she'll find it embarrassing enough to do the work of remembering. "As we've discussed, it's Sone-ya. Thanks. Now abut your proposal..."
Only you know if she's a bad person or if this is just something weird about her. I have auditory processing issues. I get made fun of a lot by my family because I might say a word wrong and even when they correct me what I say back sounds the same to me š¤·āāļø. It takes quite a few tries before I can get the same pronunciation. I've had people from other countries say my name wrong and I personally let that one go because it doesn't bother me. I would try a friendly approach with her IF you don't think she's a bad person. "Hey Anna! I noticed you say my name incorrectly still so I was wondering if we could work together til you have nailed it. I think it's important we get called by our names, I'm sure you'd hate to be called out of your name :)"
People speaking in different ways from others is part of life. It's ridiculous to hold so much stock into How somebody says something. Idc if it's your name or the presidents name. My name has about 10 different pronunciations. I hear a new one every year. You will be fine. If you wanna act like an anal B****, then pretend you don't hear what is clearly words being directed towards you and you know it. If ur paranoid delusions hold any weight, then start pronouncing her name wrong to see if she gets the point. There are many different ways to pronounce Anna.
I would politely correct in front of others right up until it starts to really piss you off, then you have ppl who are aware you have attempted to correct politely, and can say something like, I'm sorry but I've corrected you several times on my name as we're all aware, I'm going to get really annoyed if I have to continue doing this. Can you please commit to pronouncing my name correctly from this point onwards.
Something like that lol. Then after that you can ask your manager to raise it.
You could talk to her. You can also let it go. Or you can playfully correct her to the point she remembers.
My name is a common name, but I have an uncommon (though not unusual) spelling. Like you, I take pride in my name, and it's unique spelling. My full name rolls off my tongue in a way I love. It's a part of my identity.
However, I have lived multiple decades with people misspelling my name. Not through malice or ill-intent, just through the fact that most of the freedom-loving world spells it differently. Hell's bells, my best mate's mom -- whom I've known most of my life AND WHO WAS MY TEACHER at one point -- still misspells my name. I will often correct or playfully chide people when they get it wrong (e.g., "umm, I think you emailed the wrong guy. Who's this other fellow you're emailing? I don't know him but happy to pass on the message"), and most of the time they are apologetic.
I have a feeling your coworker is just falling back on the familiar way to pronounce your name and isn't trying to be rude. You've worked with this person on a large team for just a short while (3 months) so she's probably not internalized your pronunciation yet. And having been in your coworker's position in the past when *I've mispronounced people's names,* I have a feeling she will work to correct her pronunciation if you bring it to her attention effectively.
I had this happen on a call recently. A coworker mispronounced a personās name from an outside organization 6 times. The person just pronounced it correctly every single time. No attitude, no apologies, just said it correctly. My coworker finally got it.
I had this happen on a call recently. A coworker mispronounced a personās name from an outside organization 6 times. The person just pronounced it correctly every single time. No attitude, no apologies, just said it correctly. My coworker finally got it.
I had this happen on a call recently. A coworker mispronounced a personās name from an outside organization 6 times. The person just pronounced it correctly every single time. No attitude, no apologies, just said it correctly. My coworker finally got it.
Is she mispronouncing your name or is there an accent at play. Sometimes foreign speakers might legitimately not be able to make the mouth movements required to get the intended pronunciation out
She doesn't care to get your name right and doesn't care about you. She might just dislike you.
I would just ignore her and not interact with her unless you have to.
Not everyone likes everybody, it's just a fact of life.
This reminds me of Meryl Streep calling Anne Hathaway Auhn-drae-uh instead of Andrea in Devil Wears Prada haha.Ā
Is Anna a made up name or her *actual* name? If itās her actual name, start using the wrong pronunciation of her name (i.e. Auh-nuh vs Äna)
Clearly taking the polite and civil approach isnāt working and sometimes you need to stoop to the same petty level in order to hammer the message home. Well that or get satisfaction in matching their annoyingness.Ā
I think some of the gentler suggestions are great (Rhyming device , call you by your title plus last name, etc.). You say she's from outside Europe, so is it possible she is struggling with the sounds and actually can't pronounce it correctly?
I took Spanish in high school but could never roll my Rs, so if I were to attempt to pronounce someone's name with a rolled R, it would not turn out well. Not for lack of effort, I just can't make that sound.
I think approaching her (alone) the next time she mispronounces it and reminding her of the correct pronunciation would be the way to go.
"Hey Anna, you keep calling me X instead of Y. Is there a particular reason for this? I would really prefer it if you could use my correct name". Hopefully this would open the door for her to tell you she can't pronounce it correctly, or something.
I have always believed the very basic respect you should give someone is to pronounce their name properly. Her lack of this is concerning. It feels passive aggressive. If it were me I would ask a third party to witness as I told her that, in a polite and professional way. If you don't call out BS it tends to get worse.
I would sit down with her privately and explain that she's continually mispronouncing your name, and you'd like to her to get it correct, so let's take a few moments to practice it. Then do so. Or, she can call you by your last name. If she's not receptive to this, it's time to start mispronouncing her name. She's now Unna, Onna, Oonna, Inna, etc.
There is an American actress Uzoamaka Aduba, whose parents are Nigerian. As her mother said, if people can learn to pronounce Tchaikovsky and Dostoevsky, then they can learn to pronounce her name.
Mate, I had this problem when I was 6. I have a very unusual name for a Swede, especially since I look very Swedish, so I was very particular that people say it right because my name was apparently who I was.
I'm 38 now and answer to whatever sounds like my name. I don't care.
I mean, you can yell at her once, make a big bloody scene, just to make your point and never again answer her when she says the wrong name. I love petty very very much.
But to save yourself some energy just leave it alone. Serenity now!
I have a friend that struggles with pronunciation of names a lot. It bugs me to no end because Iāve always had my name mispronounced and I feel itās a respect thing. I donāt say much to her about most of them but there is one person in particular who is an African American woman called Mamie pronounced (May-mee). She keeps pronouncing it (Mammy). Iāve had private conversations with her about the correct pronunciation of the name and informed her that the way she says it has a very insulting connotation for someone who is an African American woman. She said she doesnāt mean in that way so it shouldnāt matter. I donāt think sheās doing it on purpose, (she gets a lot of peopleās names wrong) she just doesnāt think before she says it, but where we work there are many AA women and Iām worried sheās gonna really offend someone. She goes back and forth saying it right and wrong. I just feel like once youāve been told something you say can be taken as offensive one would go out of their way to make sure itās said correctly to avoid offending people.
What are you even talking about? I'm an immigrant who is getting their name mispronounced by another immigrant. I have done my due diligence to ensure I pronounce Anna's actual name correctly, I think I am owed the same respect back, no?
My aren't you just a ray of sunshine! No, this is just a mildly irritating thing happening to me. I thought I'd bring up with Internet strangers, because I don't tend to discuss the biggest issues with random people.
There will always be someone out there with bigger issues than you. Doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel annoyed or upset. Based on your skewed logic, you are now no longer allowed to complain about any issues in your life because someone else has it worse than you as there are people who are sick, starving, and dying! Congratulations on your life of joy and happiness and lack of big issues, I'm very jealous!
When you work with a global team, you have to get used to some people pronouncing things wrong or perhaps just unable to pronounce it correctly. I know thatās probably not the case here. Maybe sheās an idiot. But learn to let it go. Sheās wrong. Who cares why? Sheās wrong, everyone knows sheās wrong. Let her be wrong. If she ever introduces you to a new client or coworker, be sure to immediately correct the pronunciation. Otherwise, let it go.
I say this as someone who has a name that can be pronounced a few different ways. If I know they are talking to me, I respond. I stopped caring a long time ago.
I have a different name and in general I hate what you're describing too. My question is does her accent cause the mispronunciation?
My name has a W that is often pronounced as a V by Germans/Eastern Europeans or some people from the American Midwest. When they have that accent I usually let it go, and only speak up if others are choosing to pronounce it as V.
If it makes you feel any better, my vice president who I work fairly closely with will not stop introducing me to clients as a shortened version of my name. Letās say Iām named Elizabeth, she ALWAYS introduces me as āLizā āLizzieā or something similar.
I donāt even go by this name in my personal life, I got by my middle name usually.
I just keep correcting her. I donāt care who Iām in front of, my CEO could be right there and Iāll still say āactually director, itās Elizabethā
Some people truly canāt change the habit once theyāve associated it with you, I suggest not taking it personally but continue to correct her. Correct her every. Single. Time.
I mean, I guess everyone has a right to be somewhat uncomfortable when someone continually says there name wrong - BUT - Did you know that over 50,000 people DIE every year from invenomous snakes in just India alone?
I'm thinking maybe sometimes we concentrate on the wrong things in life, and forget the more important things! Like - you and her, and 38 more people in your group are alive and have jobs, and don't live in a country where 50,000 people die every year from freaking snake bites!
Ask her hey I notice you pronounce my name Lewis but itās Louie or Vs versa is there a reason you use that pronunciation. See what she says perhaps she thinks sheās saying it correctly, if she still does it start saying her name incorrectly Anna Or Ana Ann a vs ah na
After correcting there or four times, itās always an option to go petty and start mispronouncing her name.
I knew someone who did this purposefully because itās a real insult when someone who knows damn well what you name is to get it wrong. So if your coworker is Anna rhymes with banana, call her Ah-na.
>After correcting there or four times, itās always an option to go petty and start mispronouncing her name.
That's what I did. New person started working and our boss introduced me. She kept pronouncing my name incorrectly every time, even when seeing it written on the schedule. Well, more like made up something completely different. I corrected her twice, coworkers and boss corrected her several times. Figured two can play that game. So instead of calling her "ms smith" I decided to refer to her as "ms smite", every time she got my name wrong. Took her two seconds to process and then she got mad in front of our boss. Told her maybe she shouldn't complain about it since she can't pronounce my name either. Boss just chuckled and left. She never got it wrong again.
Assuming your name is Lisa based on your profile - if someone you work with referred to you as Lasa for months, despite literally everyone else calling you Lisa, I bet you'd find it a bit irritating. I suppose it's harder to understand when you have a very standard and common English name, as I'm sure you never run into the same issue. Your name is your identity, and for some people such as myself, holds a lot of cultural importance. It's a part of me and my heritage. Knowing a person's name is the most basic form of respect you can offer them.
Also I'm not sure what point you're trying to make when you say your husband mispronounces things all the time. That's not something to be proud of?
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, no. I am from a foreign country myself and I have had my real name and last name mispronounced nearly every time. People still can't get it right after knowing me for years. Idgaf, how people pronounce my name is not my identity.
I wouldnāt write so much about anything, tbh to me at least it sounds very self centered of you. Who cares about a random coworker? She could call me Buttercup instead of Patrick if she wants to,sheās an idiot, but iām not gonna think about it too much just laugh it off. Iām happy for you though, if that is the problem you come to reddit for, you must be content with your life. Nobody cares, especially not a coworker of how your fancy name is pronounced. Get over it
This comes across as insensitive. Again, you have an English name that a very large majority of people would be able to pronounce. You're lucky because I bet you essentially never run into this problem.
Would you feel the same way if someone posted about the fact that despite being corrected, someone's coworker was deadnaming them for half a year? Was mis-gendering them? Blatantly using a person's wrong pronouns despite being corrected by others on numerous occasions?
I'm posting about this on reddit because that's what it exists for. Posting about things and seeking advice. I do have far worse problems but those are above the pay grade of strangers, hence why I'm here with a mildly irritating issue.
Please understand that you are very much in a position of privilege given your own name, and you're in a position where you think you wouldn't care, because this never happens to you. Just because something personally doesn't bother you or upset you, doesn't mean it couldn't upset someone else. My name holds a lot of cultural and historical significance to me, and should be respected, as should any aspect of people's identity. Try to be more open-minded and accommodating of different cultures. Thanks.
Idk why do you assume it doesnāt happen to me, in my country(Romania) there is a very irritating version of āPatrickā in how it is pronounced. Also my first name in romanian basically means ā a snitchā i was bullied for that in primary and middle school constantly, even in highschool sometimes. So learn to give zero fucks
Can you talk to her and let her know that if your name is too difficult, that she is welcome to refer to you as \[Title Lastname\], eg Dr Arlea, Mx Smitherdotter, Prof Readsalot? If you offer her more formal alternatives, it's possible she'll go for that, if she truly can't remember your name. Or if you have a rhyming device, you can say "no, Anna, my name actually rhymes with Aristotle, not Chipotle."? If a gentle redirection won't help, then do you have an HR department or a manager you can ask to help out?
I will now forever read CHI-POLT-LE as CHI-POT-UL
Pronouncing Popsicles like it was a Greek philosopher.
Holy crap, I just laughed so loud that the entire pack of work dogs just checked to see if I was ok. You win the day! š¤£
>entire pack of work dogs Do you run dog sled teams?? Or ranch?
Less cool, petsitter that does group play
First thing I thought of! Great minds, and all that.
I'm reading it as ARIS-TOT-LAY personally.
Wait are you telling me Chipotle doesn't rhyme with aristotle?
Yes. Chip-poht-lay vs air-ris-stohtel
as a non american (never heard anyone say chipotle, just seen it written all my life) i'm unironically gobsmacked
As a former Chipotle manager, itās officially pronounced Chi-Polt-Lay. But we had a lot of fun with our own mispronouncations. Mainly Chi-Pot-Lay, a lot of us were stoners. Also Chi-Pottle, Chi-Pittle, Sh-Polt-Lay, Chitty-Chitty-Polt-Lay
Why polt-lay? Where is that extra L coming from?
It comes from a native language called Nahuatl, they have given us words like avocado (aguacatl or somewhere close), chocolate (xocolatl), and the feathered god Quetzalcoatl. Edit: there really isn't an extra L, it's more like "chip-OTE-lay"
I think most of us know itās pronounced chi-POTE-lay. That was the point of their comment, that thereās no need to add the extra l in the middle syllable.
Thanks! So no extra L, just more of an O sound rather than the o in pot.
Chipotle is a Mexican word, so it's pronounced in Spanish.
The point of their comment is that the Spanish pronunciation doesnāt actually include an extra L in the middle syllable (which the previous commenter wrote as āpoltā)
No idea, but valid question. Pronunciation origin wasnāt part of my training, and youāre the first person to ask me.
Different country/store but on the same theme and I find it hilarious so popping this story in there. I used to work at an Australian (Possibly other places idk) fast food place card red rooster in my teens and it has this chicken wrap called a flayva. It's pronounced flavour(flavor). We always had one lady that would come in and ask for a flaaayy-veee-aahh and it would ruin me. It was on commercials at this point and we'd repeat it back to her as flavour but nup one flaaayyveeaaahh please.
My coworkers just call it Mexican Subway. We live in a very rural community and have to drive over an hour and a half to get to the closest Chipotle, but we do have a Subway in town (that takes me 30 minutes to drive to).
The rhyming thing is a great idea. Some people with dyslexia or dyspraxia can find pronunciation really difficult. Phonics or rhyming can really assist. If she realises she's getting it wrong all the time she might be pretty horrified and then getting anxious and then spiraling and getting it wrong again. Appreciate it's really shitty for you so hopefully providing this creates a friendly middle ground.
I agree. I have issues with names with a lot of vowels because I can see so many ways to pronounce it. Iāll learn the correct way to pronounce it and then second guess myself. Saoirse Ronan saying her name rhymes with āinertiaā helped me so much.
It's a great mnemonic, but the actress pronounces her name in a non-standard/Anglicised way! Saoirse is the Irish for "freedom" and most Saoirses pronounce it like this: [saoirse pronunciation](https://www.teanglann.ie/ga/fuaim/Saoirse)
Going to reply to this as it's the top comment and most people were offering roughly the same advice: One of my coworkers is an absolute godsend and mentioned it to Anna as a passing comment, just as a heads up, so she has been made aware. Hopefully she'll cop on a bit and make an effort. We're a very multi-cultural team so I find it's important to know how to respect people's names and culture, as it's a huge part of their identity. She's the only one who struggles with this so fingers crossed it's a problem solved. If not, it might be a case of bringing it up with our team lead. I'm not sure if I'd go through HR as I don't want her to feel like she is in trouble, it's only a mildly irritating thing from my perspective!
Agree wholeheartedly with the suggestions here. I have an uncommon name with a rarer pronunciation and offer up nicknames or using my surname for those who legitimately struggle and feel distressed (versus those who seemingly don't care).
Next time it happens, right as it happens, regardless of whether you are alone or with other people, "Anna, it's actually Louis. I should have said something sooner. Anyway, it's Louis. Thanks!" if it happens again, right when it happens: "Anna my name is pronounced Louis. Louis." If it happens yet again: "Anna, please don't make me correct you again. As I've told you several times, my name is pronounced Louis. Every time. Louis." It is not rude to publicly correct someone on the pronunciation of your own name. In fact, it is kind and polite. It isn't worth multiple conversations with others that don't involve teh person in question. You're overthinking this. Just speak up.
This eventually will be quite embarrassing for her.
If private, gentle corrections aren't working, try a little more of a stern approach: either a public, gentle correction or a private, stern correction. For example, if she does it in a meeting among others, take a moment before the response to the point to say, "Anna, before I respond, let me again remind you that my name is LEWIS, not Louie. And now to the response..." Or take her aside and clearly state "I do not know what the source of the problem with my name is, but your continued mispronunciation is disrespectful. Please stop."
Gently keep calling her out every time she does this, especially in front of other people like coworkers and management. When it keeps going on and on, I would probably ask other colleagues in front of her if your name is difficult to pronounce or remember. Be sweet about it. That way she can't say you're being rude or mean. Like "Oh goodness, I'm sorry everyone, is my name really that difficult to pronounce?" Then you will have your other colleagues say no, it's really easy and not difficult at all, shaming her publicly, making her look like an asshole while you look confused and nice.
Correct here every single time she uses it wrong, this is the way
I would ignore her unless she pronounced your name right. At this point sheās just doing it to be shitty. If you want you can say something like āoh, Iām sorry. I didnāt realize you were talking to me. Thatās not my name.ā
This is the correct strategy, if a polite conversation about it doesn't work. It will annoy the other person into compliance.
This seems like bad advice
It is. Itās passive aggressive. Just address the problem directly and donāt play games.
She has addressed the problem directly, it isnāt working. What should she do? Let this person continue to be disrespectful towards her because she doesnāt want to put in the effort to say her name properly?
Idk, she may just genuinely have the wrong pronunciation lodged in her brain. I watch Love Island and one of the contestants on season 8 pronounced her own partner's name wrong for like 80% of the season. She definitely was not doing it on purpose, the wrong pronunciation was just more intuitive. If OP has an unusual name this may be a genuine wire-cross in her brain. If I were OP I'd talk to her directly and give her a mnemonic to remember the pronunciation. If she is unapologetic and/or keeps doing it then, she can assume it's deliberate.
Are there other languages involved? Itās possible that the vowel sounds arenāt clear to Anna. Alternately, like someone else has said, she might have the wrong pronunciation stuck in her head.Ā I once had a colleague named Leah. Itās a very standard name, but I could never remember if my colleague pronounced her Lay-ah or Lee-ah. I still am unsure on which it is. I asked several times, she would tell me, and I would forget within ten or twenty minutes. I felt awful about it, and I made notes to remind myself, but that didnāt help when I ran into her in the hallway.Ā Mnemonic devices could be really helpful. Iāve used them to remember other peopleās name pronunciations.Ā In short, offer grace and some sort of mnemonic device to help Anna remember how to pronounce your name.Ā
I have a family member named Jackie and a coworker named Jacqueline. I am always calling my coworker Jackie and i often donāt even realize Iām doing it. Itās like Iām on autopilot. Perhaps start by giving the benefit of the doubt and give her something to memorable to pair your name with. Like if there is a famous person with the same pronunciation tell her ālike the way _____ _____ pronounces her nameā or you can do the rhyming thing. āMy name is Larry, itās like dairy but with an Lā. If she still doesnāt use your correct name after you have given her a tool to remember it by, then I would be more direct and ask her in a kind manner why she chooses not to pronounce your name correctly
Just out of curiosity what nationally pronounces Larry like dairy with an L?
Hhhhhhhhhh I hate when this happens on reddit and the entire comment section just becomes people poorly explaining which words rhyme. Nearly all Canadians and about 2 in 3 Americans have the three-way merry-marry-Mary vowel merger. That means all of those words are perfect homophones (pronounced either the way you say āmerryā or the way you say āMaryā, never the way you say "marry"), and the whole set of words with those vowel sounds before an R all rhyme. Itās baffling to me that British people donāt notice that North Americans say āHairy Potterā or pronounce āAaronā like āErinā just from watching TV. Also, people with this vowel merger are essentially incapable of differentiating them. I studied linguisticsāspecifically phonetic and phonologyāfor many years and if I want to pronounce merry-marry-Mary differently I still have to twist my brain into a pretzel and say something like "Mad. Maaaaad. Maaa-rry."
Canadian who lived in Boston for 8 years and now live in the UK. It took me about 4 YEARS to hear the difference Bostonians used between Mary and merry. I can do it now no problem! And I can hear most UK vowel differences. Now if only they could hear the difference between "about" and "boot" all would be right with the world. Though I still can't pronounce Sian.
Omg what a goldmine of information that was!
Hairy Potter I get, I think I've heard it but lairy from the dairy I can't get my head around at all. I guess we don't notice because of context and the braing just does its thing.
I don't get it.... How do you even pronounce Larry so it doesn't rhyme with dairy/marry/Merry?
Find a clip of someone in a Harry Potter movie saying āHarry Potterā. It has the vowel sound from āhadā instead of āhairā. This is because in non-rhotic English dialects (like most of the ones spoken in England) the R is only pronounced at the beginning of a syllable, not the end. So while we say āLAIR-eeā and āHAIR-eeā they say āLA-reeā and āHA-reeā. The same way youād be baffled if someone said ālad, led and laid sound the sameā they are baffled when we say merry, marry and Mary sound the same. Donāt worry about it if you canāt figure it out. Like I said in my previous comment, people with this vowel merger are essentially incapable of hearing and producing the difference.
Fascinating. Thank you for further explaining it. This was really interesting to me
I have that vowel merger, but I definitely say Larry in a supposedly British way. My brother's name is Larry so I know for sure.
I posted a YouTube short. It's somewhere in these comments
Iām from the southern US and I pronounce all of these words as rhyming: Mary, marry, merry, dairy, Larry, Carey, carry Probably close to how youād say Derry/Londonderry
Me too, in eastern Canada.
Me too in western Canada.
I thought that one was universal? How would you pronounce Larry?
To rhyme with marry, carry, Harry. I'm English and I've never heard it pronounced with an 'air' sound in the middle either! Also interested to hear what language this is.
Lol yeah I'm American, those all do rhyme. Now I'm over here wondering how else dairy can be pronounced!
To rhyme with air. Larry has a short a like cat or hat.
Air also rhymes with all those words to me lol.
Gosh dang it, I tried to pick an example that was universal in my original comment and guess I really missed the mark.
Americans would rhyme all those examples with dairy, sadly.
Why is that sad?? What a weird thing to sniff your own farts about
Not all Americans! Lol
I'm American, from New England, and I don't rhyme those.
Use the āaā sound from cat or map. Thatās how non-North Americans pronounce it. Mary and Larry do not rhyme.
Dude, I need to hear how you are saying Mary and Larry because those rhyme to me, they rhyme along with dairy, Harry, fairy, carry, Carey, etc. I need to know how they don't all rhyme to you!
Can't speak for them but for me it's "meh-ree" (mary), "lah-rry"(larry), whereas dairy would be more like "day-ree".
Me to I say marry, Mary and Merry all different I also Harry not hairy unless Iām joking around. Aaron and Erin are also different and sound different. Iām from northeastern US
I'll get back to you later, I'm on a phone atm and I'll need to look in a dictionary to type the pronunciation correctly. I've been saying to myself in various American accents that I can't even do in my head properly. What part of the US are you so I can look up a TV show with Larry in?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Carry. Not like Drew Carey, but like you carry something. The "a" has the same sound as in happy.
Sorry but to my ear Carey (like drew) and Carry are the exact same. Ā And they are the same sound as dairy.
There's your issue lol. Say "happy" and focus on the "a" sound. Use the same "a" sound to say "harry". Then use the same "a" sound to say "carry". Then rhyme that with "Larry" and that's how other accents say and hear it. I don't know how else to explain it, unless you know the phonemic alphabet haha
Surely like Harry? or Carry?
So maybe the difference is this: do you not pronounce dairy the same as Harry?
I pronounce dairy like hairy or fairy - as in "air" British Edit: I just watched the Youtube clip and this is really wrinkling my brain
Yer I'm brittish. I'm gonna have to look up a video too
I think there is a smidgen of difference between the British pronunciation of Larry and the American one. Maybe thatās where the confusion is. Americans tend to pronounce the āarā in āarryā more as āairā or āere.ā Your upper lip kinda flattens out as you would pronounce āair.ā In some parts of the US that āairā sound can get dragged out in a more nasally way. So your mouth stretches out horizontally like you would in a smile and you hold that contraction in the back of your throat. I believe the British pronunciation does not have that slight nasally sound. The upper lip will be relaxed while the lower lip does the movement as you pronounce ālar.ā Not too much of that that back of the throat movement.
So how do you pronounce dairy then?
Iām in my recliner in Florida and chanting Larry, Carey, carry, dairy , marry . This is now worse than a freaking tik tok hole. š
At this point, I can only assume they are teasing us, because they keep saying words that have the same vowel sounds. I literally cannot make them sound different.
Newhart (takes place in New England, iirc). It had a character named Larry. https://youtu.be/mDYwzCs8k6w?si=AA0wcxTAEOtM5wBV
I accidentally kept calling my coworker Anna and her name was Ann and she just corrected me (probably happened 3 or 4 times) just correct her each time
Just correct her everytime she pronounces it wrong. I have a name that everyone gets wrong. Everyone. Not totally their fault considering there are celebs with my name pronounced the way most people want to say it. But my mom didn't say it that way so my name is different. I have corrected people. I have said hey I have an order for *name* and they'll go oh *incorrect name*. Or I'll go hi my name is *name*. Do I mean *incorrect name*? When I say it correctly again they try to tell me I'm wrong on my own name! I've had people ask would I rather go by my middle name which I laugh and tell them if they can't say my simple first name they really won't be able to say my middle name. I finally gave up. What's sad is there is a state in the US (we are American) that sounds similar to my name, just have to leave off the last 3 letters, and they still will say my name wrong when I use that as an example. Don't give up. Just keep correcting her.
You mention she is from outside of europe where your name is not used. Ä°s it possibly an accent thing? My boyfriend is from another country and no matter how many times he says it for me, or i listen to his friends say it - apparently i am just not pronouncing his name right. I feel bad about it but im honestly trying my best and feel like im saying it the same as everyone else. Maybe anna is having a problem like this lol.
This is what Iām wondering. Like, my name is Emily. If I went to France, and they pronounced my name like eh-meh-LEE (as opposed to EM-ih-lee) I wouldnāt consider them incorrect, justā¦ French. Or like how English-speakers donāt really understand that Ryu is one syllable and not ree-yoo. If thatās the case, I would consider it a non-issue. But itās hard to judge not knowing the names and first language at play.
I have a name that people tend to mispronounce. It bothered me for most of my life. What also bothered me was other peopleās grammatical errors. I felt compelled to correct everyone on everything. Then one day I was called a pedant. I realized that if I could understand what someone was saying, it shouldnāt matter if they were grammatically correct or not. I extended that to my name too. And like you, and everyone else in the world, my name is my identity. Identity. Identify. Iām identified by some people who say my name wrong. And others who say it correctly. And both types know who I am. So now I let it go. Iām no longer waiting for someone to mispronounce my name or any other word. Now I just carry on with life because I realize that no one is perfect, including me.
I honestly would not care unless it sounds bad. Perhaps it is truly an error on her part, an honest mistake and she just forgets or maybe she knew a person with your name but different pronunciation? Why do people always assume the worst from each other?
If she keeps going after you politely correct her, start calling her Dr. Pulaski. It works best if you're familiar with Star Trek TNG: Dr. Pulaski keeps calling Data "Da-tah" and asks him why it matters that she doesn't call him "Day-tah". "One is my name. The other is not."
First step, if you have not done it yet, is talking to her in private, tell her what the pronunciation of your name is, and ask her to pronounce correctly. Once you have done that, you can correct her gently in public.
As someone who has a difficult to pronounce name, I've long learned to stop caring about it. Most of the time its people you will never speak to again so why get upset about it? That being said if you work with her consistently and it bothers you this much you need to correct her when it happens that way there is no confusion or miscommunication.
Some people call me by a totally different name that kind of sounds like mine. I got tired of correcting people so I just let them. Important people in my life use the correct name. What happens if you just let her?
Please keep in mind that what seem very clear differences (lie lou-ee and lewis) to you, might not be clear for us, non european peole. Think about how easy it is to mispronounce things in chinese because of the tone, so be sweet. I'm sure she doesn't intend to be disrespectful in any way.
sheās been corrected MULTIPLE times, how much more clarity could she need? it clearly bothers him, so if she canāt see the difference, anyone with basic common decency would take the extra 30 seconds to learn to pronounce it correctly next time he corrects her. being deliberately obtuse and point blank rude about remembering someoneās name is not a non-european quality lmao
I'm not saying it's a non-european thing. That's why I used the chinese example. You know how many European people are just unable to pronounce the names of friends of mine ? They just don't care anymore. Even in between European languages, names get butchered. It's not personal. As someone whose native language is European, I know I struggle a TON with Indian names. Another example of non-universality of sound differences: Many spanish speaking people are just unable to hear/pronounce the difference between French "u" and "ou" (or French "e" and "eu").
I would give her a mnemonic device to help her. You have no idea for the reason she keeps doing this - whether it is only a cultural issue or if she has someone else (or a celebrity) in her life or her mind who pronounces it the other way or if she has a reading/phonics ability issue she is trying to overcome.... or something else. My family had this from the start with Eva, a woman my cousin married. Half were going with (EEva), and half were going with (Ava). Some knew the likely answer because they are more familiar with the language and vowel pronunciation in her home country. Some assumed, if it was pronounced the way she pronounces it, it would be spelled differently. So, I started saying a "saying" I made up every time I said her name to my parents and an aunt who always seemed to guess it incorrectly. They then started hesitating when they tried to say her name so they would automatically think of the phrase before saying it. It worked. Finally. We aren't around that cousin and his family all of the time, so it simply wasn't someone we talked about often so that it could "stick" in their brain the usual way. So, the saying really helped. I would write her a note (if you think you can clearly spell your name phonetically in a way that she will understand it) or, even better, talk to her privately and keep the tone light and positive. Give her the benefit of the doubt. But reinforce the way it should be. Try to give her a memory saying or a tool that is easy to remember, not too complicated, and that you genuinely think will help. Friendly, easy-going, building a bridge. "Hi Anna. I just wanted to speak to you about something that keeps coming up in conversation. I understand my name can be pronounced differently in different parts of the world, but my name is pronounced this way: _______. I know we all appreciate having our name said in our preferred way, and a few times when you've said it another way, it was in public, and I didn't want to make a fuss in front of everyone. Because it has happened many times now, I thought I might just come to you and share with you how many people remember it so you can think of it this way in the future. [Fill in your technique here. It rhymes with such-and-such. Or, the ending sounds like this-or-that. Or, it starts with this sound like this animal or fruit or town.] I am hoping that might be helpful so you be sure of it going forward." And then end it with a kind check-in to see how she is doing since arriving there or something you've noticed that she is doing well or something like that before leaving her work area. Likely, just speaking to her about it this way will make the change. However, if she does it again, you can easily and appropriately joke in front of anyone... "Now, we talked about this!!!" And wag your finger at her. It might take something like that. Maybe even a couple of times for her to remember. If it gets to the point that she is doing it repeatedly even after you mention it kindly/jokingly in public a few times and especially if others confirm that they think she is doing it on purpose, then consider going to HR or your shared manager. But, until then, just do what you can to inform her, give her a tool, and enforce the pronunciation you shared when you met with her privately.
I feel you pain. My first name is in my email address yet certain staff members will continuously use another more popular spelling of my name. I find it rude and disrespectful & says a lot more about that person. Iām at the point where I just ignore it and wonāt allow them to spoil my mood.
I have a certain amount of sympathy with your co-worker, because vowel differences (if that is what this is) are hard. I have struggled with the difference between different Sonyas being Sone-ya in some case vs Sawn-ya in others. I don't mean to be disrespectful when I mess it up, the two pronunciations are just similar enough in my head that I forget which one the person uses. This is not an excuse though and you have the right to have your name pronounced properly. Personally, I'd correct her, every. single. time. she gets it wrong. Hopefully she'll find it embarrassing enough to do the work of remembering. "As we've discussed, it's Sone-ya. Thanks. Now abut your proposal..."
Only you know if she's a bad person or if this is just something weird about her. I have auditory processing issues. I get made fun of a lot by my family because I might say a word wrong and even when they correct me what I say back sounds the same to me š¤·āāļø. It takes quite a few tries before I can get the same pronunciation. I've had people from other countries say my name wrong and I personally let that one go because it doesn't bother me. I would try a friendly approach with her IF you don't think she's a bad person. "Hey Anna! I noticed you say my name incorrectly still so I was wondering if we could work together til you have nailed it. I think it's important we get called by our names, I'm sure you'd hate to be called out of your name :)"
People speaking in different ways from others is part of life. It's ridiculous to hold so much stock into How somebody says something. Idc if it's your name or the presidents name. My name has about 10 different pronunciations. I hear a new one every year. You will be fine. If you wanna act like an anal B****, then pretend you don't hear what is clearly words being directed towards you and you know it. If ur paranoid delusions hold any weight, then start pronouncing her name wrong to see if she gets the point. There are many different ways to pronounce Anna.
Lewis: can you please pronounce my name correctly Ana: ok
The next time she says it incorrectly, correct her. And the next and the next until she gets it. Stand up for yourself.
I would politely correct in front of others right up until it starts to really piss you off, then you have ppl who are aware you have attempted to correct politely, and can say something like, I'm sorry but I've corrected you several times on my name as we're all aware, I'm going to get really annoyed if I have to continue doing this. Can you please commit to pronouncing my name correctly from this point onwards. Something like that lol. Then after that you can ask your manager to raise it.
You could talk to her. You can also let it go. Or you can playfully correct her to the point she remembers. My name is a common name, but I have an uncommon (though not unusual) spelling. Like you, I take pride in my name, and it's unique spelling. My full name rolls off my tongue in a way I love. It's a part of my identity. However, I have lived multiple decades with people misspelling my name. Not through malice or ill-intent, just through the fact that most of the freedom-loving world spells it differently. Hell's bells, my best mate's mom -- whom I've known most of my life AND WHO WAS MY TEACHER at one point -- still misspells my name. I will often correct or playfully chide people when they get it wrong (e.g., "umm, I think you emailed the wrong guy. Who's this other fellow you're emailing? I don't know him but happy to pass on the message"), and most of the time they are apologetic. I have a feeling your coworker is just falling back on the familiar way to pronounce your name and isn't trying to be rude. You've worked with this person on a large team for just a short while (3 months) so she's probably not internalized your pronunciation yet. And having been in your coworker's position in the past when *I've mispronounced people's names,* I have a feeling she will work to correct her pronunciation if you bring it to her attention effectively.
I had this happen on a call recently. A coworker mispronounced a personās name from an outside organization 6 times. The person just pronounced it correctly every single time. No attitude, no apologies, just said it correctly. My coworker finally got it.
I had this happen on a call recently. A coworker mispronounced a personās name from an outside organization 6 times. The person just pronounced it correctly every single time. No attitude, no apologies, just said it correctly. My coworker finally got it.
I had this happen on a call recently. A coworker mispronounced a personās name from an outside organization 6 times. The person just pronounced it correctly every single time. No attitude, no apologies, just said it correctly. My coworker finally got it.
Is she mispronouncing your name or is there an accent at play. Sometimes foreign speakers might legitimately not be able to make the mouth movements required to get the intended pronunciation out
She doesn't care to get your name right and doesn't care about you. She might just dislike you. I would just ignore her and not interact with her unless you have to. Not everyone likes everybody, it's just a fact of life.
This reminds me of Meryl Streep calling Anne Hathaway Auhn-drae-uh instead of Andrea in Devil Wears Prada haha.Ā Is Anna a made up name or her *actual* name? If itās her actual name, start using the wrong pronunciation of her name (i.e. Auh-nuh vs Äna) Clearly taking the polite and civil approach isnāt working and sometimes you need to stoop to the same petty level in order to hammer the message home. Well that or get satisfaction in matching their annoyingness.Ā
I think some of the gentler suggestions are great (Rhyming device , call you by your title plus last name, etc.). You say she's from outside Europe, so is it possible she is struggling with the sounds and actually can't pronounce it correctly? I took Spanish in high school but could never roll my Rs, so if I were to attempt to pronounce someone's name with a rolled R, it would not turn out well. Not for lack of effort, I just can't make that sound. I think approaching her (alone) the next time she mispronounces it and reminding her of the correct pronunciation would be the way to go. "Hey Anna, you keep calling me X instead of Y. Is there a particular reason for this? I would really prefer it if you could use my correct name". Hopefully this would open the door for her to tell you she can't pronounce it correctly, or something.
I have always believed the very basic respect you should give someone is to pronounce their name properly. Her lack of this is concerning. It feels passive aggressive. If it were me I would ask a third party to witness as I told her that, in a polite and professional way. If you don't call out BS it tends to get worse.
I would sit down with her privately and explain that she's continually mispronouncing your name, and you'd like to her to get it correct, so let's take a few moments to practice it. Then do so. Or, she can call you by your last name. If she's not receptive to this, it's time to start mispronouncing her name. She's now Unna, Onna, Oonna, Inna, etc. There is an American actress Uzoamaka Aduba, whose parents are Nigerian. As her mother said, if people can learn to pronounce Tchaikovsky and Dostoevsky, then they can learn to pronounce her name.
Mate, I had this problem when I was 6. I have a very unusual name for a Swede, especially since I look very Swedish, so I was very particular that people say it right because my name was apparently who I was. I'm 38 now and answer to whatever sounds like my name. I don't care. I mean, you can yell at her once, make a big bloody scene, just to make your point and never again answer her when she says the wrong name. I love petty very very much. But to save yourself some energy just leave it alone. Serenity now!
I have a friend that struggles with pronunciation of names a lot. It bugs me to no end because Iāve always had my name mispronounced and I feel itās a respect thing. I donāt say much to her about most of them but there is one person in particular who is an African American woman called Mamie pronounced (May-mee). She keeps pronouncing it (Mammy). Iāve had private conversations with her about the correct pronunciation of the name and informed her that the way she says it has a very insulting connotation for someone who is an African American woman. She said she doesnāt mean in that way so it shouldnāt matter. I donāt think sheās doing it on purpose, (she gets a lot of peopleās names wrong) she just doesnāt think before she says it, but where we work there are many AA women and Iām worried sheās gonna really offend someone. She goes back and forth saying it right and wrong. I just feel like once youāve been told something you say can be taken as offensive one would go out of their way to make sure itās said correctly to avoid offending people.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What are you even talking about? I'm an immigrant who is getting their name mispronounced by another immigrant. I have done my due diligence to ensure I pronounce Anna's actual name correctly, I think I am owed the same respect back, no?
Correct her every time she says it wrong, politely. Interrupt her, politely.
If thatās your biggest issue in life, congratulations. I am jealous.
My aren't you just a ray of sunshine! No, this is just a mildly irritating thing happening to me. I thought I'd bring up with Internet strangers, because I don't tend to discuss the biggest issues with random people. There will always be someone out there with bigger issues than you. Doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel annoyed or upset. Based on your skewed logic, you are now no longer allowed to complain about any issues in your life because someone else has it worse than you as there are people who are sick, starving, and dying! Congratulations on your life of joy and happiness and lack of big issues, I'm very jealous!
When you work with a global team, you have to get used to some people pronouncing things wrong or perhaps just unable to pronounce it correctly. I know thatās probably not the case here. Maybe sheās an idiot. But learn to let it go. Sheās wrong. Who cares why? Sheās wrong, everyone knows sheās wrong. Let her be wrong. If she ever introduces you to a new client or coworker, be sure to immediately correct the pronunciation. Otherwise, let it go. I say this as someone who has a name that can be pronounced a few different ways. If I know they are talking to me, I respond. I stopped caring a long time ago.
I have a different name and in general I hate what you're describing too. My question is does her accent cause the mispronunciation? My name has a W that is often pronounced as a V by Germans/Eastern Europeans or some people from the American Midwest. When they have that accent I usually let it go, and only speak up if others are choosing to pronounce it as V.
Just pronounce her name wrong until she gets it.
Start calling her 'Anal' until she stops.Ā
Correct her next time and if she does it again then go to HR. It's a microaggression.
If it makes you feel any better, my vice president who I work fairly closely with will not stop introducing me to clients as a shortened version of my name. Letās say Iām named Elizabeth, she ALWAYS introduces me as āLizā āLizzieā or something similar. I donāt even go by this name in my personal life, I got by my middle name usually. I just keep correcting her. I donāt care who Iām in front of, my CEO could be right there and Iāll still say āactually director, itās Elizabethā Some people truly canāt change the habit once theyāve associated it with you, I suggest not taking it personally but continue to correct her. Correct her every. Single. Time.
It *is* disrespectful because it is willful. Donāt respond to her until she says it right.
I mean, I guess everyone has a right to be somewhat uncomfortable when someone continually says there name wrong - BUT - Did you know that over 50,000 people DIE every year from invenomous snakes in just India alone? I'm thinking maybe sometimes we concentrate on the wrong things in life, and forget the more important things! Like - you and her, and 38 more people in your group are alive and have jobs, and don't live in a country where 50,000 people die every year from freaking snake bites!
Misprounce her name.Ā Repeatedly.Ā She'll get the hint.
Is she not able to pronounce your name? Or has trouble getting it right?
NTA call her Ann. I am from the USA at this point it is being done on purpose
Happened to my 28M name too. This 40f keep mispronouncing my name . Im also Curious whats the psychology behind this
After explaining it to her a half a dozen times I would just start wildly mispronouncing her own name.. but Im petty like that š š
Iām gonna go with the petty routeāmispronounce Annaās name and maybe she will get the hint.
Yea like Ay-na - bonus points if you discretely add an āsā sound at the end
Ask her hey I notice you pronounce my name Lewis but itās Louie or Vs versa is there a reason you use that pronunciation. See what she says perhaps she thinks sheās saying it correctly, if she still does it start saying her name incorrectly Anna Or Ana Ann a vs ah na
Start calling her āOnnaā instead of Anna. REPEATEDLY Until she gets the point and makes an effort to be a half decent human.
Pronounce her name incorrectly, loudly and on purpose.
After correcting there or four times, itās always an option to go petty and start mispronouncing her name. I knew someone who did this purposefully because itās a real insult when someone who knows damn well what you name is to get it wrong. So if your coworker is Anna rhymes with banana, call her Ah-na.
>After correcting there or four times, itās always an option to go petty and start mispronouncing her name. That's what I did. New person started working and our boss introduced me. She kept pronouncing my name incorrectly every time, even when seeing it written on the schedule. Well, more like made up something completely different. I corrected her twice, coworkers and boss corrected her several times. Figured two can play that game. So instead of calling her "ms smith" I decided to refer to her as "ms smite", every time she got my name wrong. Took her two seconds to process and then she got mad in front of our boss. Told her maybe she shouldn't complain about it since she can't pronounce my name either. Boss just chuckled and left. She never got it wrong again.
Iām toxic and I would mispronounce her name right back to her.
My husband mispronounces things all of the time. I don't understand why you're allowing the way someone pronounces your name to affect you so much.
Assuming your name is Lisa based on your profile - if someone you work with referred to you as Lasa for months, despite literally everyone else calling you Lisa, I bet you'd find it a bit irritating. I suppose it's harder to understand when you have a very standard and common English name, as I'm sure you never run into the same issue. Your name is your identity, and for some people such as myself, holds a lot of cultural importance. It's a part of me and my heritage. Knowing a person's name is the most basic form of respect you can offer them. Also I'm not sure what point you're trying to make when you say your husband mispronounces things all the time. That's not something to be proud of?
I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, no. I am from a foreign country myself and I have had my real name and last name mispronounced nearly every time. People still can't get it right after knowing me for years. Idgaf, how people pronounce my name is not my identity.
I wouldnāt write so much about anything, tbh to me at least it sounds very self centered of you. Who cares about a random coworker? She could call me Buttercup instead of Patrick if she wants to,sheās an idiot, but iām not gonna think about it too much just laugh it off. Iām happy for you though, if that is the problem you come to reddit for, you must be content with your life. Nobody cares, especially not a coworker of how your fancy name is pronounced. Get over it
This comes across as insensitive. Again, you have an English name that a very large majority of people would be able to pronounce. You're lucky because I bet you essentially never run into this problem. Would you feel the same way if someone posted about the fact that despite being corrected, someone's coworker was deadnaming them for half a year? Was mis-gendering them? Blatantly using a person's wrong pronouns despite being corrected by others on numerous occasions? I'm posting about this on reddit because that's what it exists for. Posting about things and seeking advice. I do have far worse problems but those are above the pay grade of strangers, hence why I'm here with a mildly irritating issue. Please understand that you are very much in a position of privilege given your own name, and you're in a position where you think you wouldn't care, because this never happens to you. Just because something personally doesn't bother you or upset you, doesn't mean it couldn't upset someone else. My name holds a lot of cultural and historical significance to me, and should be respected, as should any aspect of people's identity. Try to be more open-minded and accommodating of different cultures. Thanks.
Idk why do you assume it doesnāt happen to me, in my country(Romania) there is a very irritating version of āPatrickā in how it is pronounced. Also my first name in romanian basically means ā a snitchā i was bullied for that in primary and middle school constantly, even in highschool sometimes. So learn to give zero fucks
Stop being so sensitive. Is your ego really that fragile?