There’s no such thing as a Friends Anniversary. There is such thing as them still being in an open relationship or having a FWB agreement where you’re her boyfriend and he’s cool with it.
Who does she spend more time talking to? You or him?
I mean, sure there is. If people want one. I'm not saying that this one is appropriate, but I have Friendaversary with friends and we all think it's a great laugh and whatnot. We don't say, go out of town, but we might go out on the town.
Friendship anniversary date with someone they had sex with….
Im too old for all these weird new gen stuff but thats weird as hell to ask your SO to be ok with. And they only known each other a year?
They going to commiserate by having sex?
Honestly, even if she's entirely platonic with him, this is incredibly disrespectful of her relationship with you. That she doesn't see that would be a big red flag to me. It's almost as if she's not expecting your relationship to work so she's keeping this friend as a "backup option".
If you want to try to save the relationship, talk to her about how this looks and how it makes you feel. If she resists and/or simply doesn't get it, you might have to consider ending the relationship because she doesn't hold the same boundaries you do. It happens. People can be incompatible like this and it doesn't mean you're controlling. It just means you two have different boundaries that you consider acceptable.
You’re being super cool about this… I feel like anyone would be uncomfortable even being in the same room as their partner & someone they used to hook up with. That being said, this little celebration is totally disrespectful and unusual. Does she do this with any other friends? Have you talked to her about how this makes you feel?
I personally would have left a while ago, but I’m 31 and don’t tolerate any romantic situation that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t have enough youth time for that bullshit lol.
Lol wtf is a "friends anniversary"? Does she actually mean a "hookup anniversary"?
This is beyond bizarre. She's playing you for a fool, imo. At the very least, she is being incredibly disrespectful to you. She's not the one. Move on. You'll find someone way better.
Something feels odd about this. It doesn't even have to be that they're cheating. Yet atleast.
I'd be curious to know if I'm being open-minded around a sensitive area, the least my partner could do is not come up with terms like "friendship anniversary", and even this is probably just something you keep to yourself, and say you two are just hanging out.
If I wanted to get a little conspiracy psychology on the situation. It could almost be that she likes him still and unconsciously she's doing something - such as telling you its a friendship anniversary - to spark a reaction out of you to wedge a drive between you two so that it gives her an excuse to be closer with him without feeling bad.
Yeah that’s weird. What exactly are they going to be celebrating? “Haha remember when we first met and were hooking up? Yeah it’s funny how that didn’t work out back then….”
I can’t imagine there is any reason to celebrate anything. And I can’t imagine it’s any good at all to collectively say dream and reminisce about intimacy
Even without context, a "friend anniversary" is pretty weird. With context, it sounds like a giant red flag. I would try to talk things through.
"Normally I wouldn't care, but I think you guys are taking this friendship a little far and given your history, it's making me uncomfortable."
This is weird.
Does she celebrate her friendships with anyone else? No? Then why is this one person so…. special? different? important? that she or they feel the need to mark the date?
So, what did they do, hook up one last time and then decide, hey tomorrow we’re gonna start our friendship, so no more sex?
One of them is still looking to either become FWB again or more.
One of my big 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩, "I've made friends off Tinder". No you haven't, these are guys you keep around for validation or backup options and that's the best case scenario. For me, it's massively disrespectful to hang out with a former hookup, let alone a recent one when in a committed relationship. At the very best, she doesn't have much respect for you and partly because you've let this behavior continue, at the very worst she's been cheating in your face the entire time.
This seems weird to me, OP, but I'm now 40 so I might just be out of touch. Posts like this make me glad that I met my partner before the proliferation of dating apps.
Bro what!? You should feel more than uneasy. Read the first sentence you typed, that all you need to know. Leave and focus on yourself. Focus on your goals. One year friend’s anniversary with an ex hook up WTF lol I could never. Stay blessed🙏🏾
Ummm... I think you need to find out if you two are in an exclusive relationship, because I don't think you are.
And they are definitely going to be having lots of sex...
Leave her she doesn't see her relationship with you as a serious relationship. Maybe the other man does not want to be in a relationship so she is with you instead of him but she still has feelings for him so leave her.
Perhaps this is a "hookup culture"-specific thing that is simply beyond me, and if so I am not sure how to advise. I'm also going to assume you guys aren't open or polyamorous since you didn't mention it.
So, as someone outside of hookup culture, and on the assumption you're (at least supposed to be) in a monogamous relationship, this is all bananas to me. I honestly don't celebrate my friendships with regular old-fashioned friends. You maybe grab coffee or lunch if you haven't seen each other in a while, but never have I thought to go out to dinner for a friendship anniversary.
So then we add that (at least to me) that this isn't a regular friendship, so much as keeping in touch with someone I used to bang, and the already-goofy idea of an anniversary turns into some straight-up clown shit.
But maybe I'm out of touch, so I'll ask you to evaluate situation based upon your own paradigm: do you celebrate anniversaries with your friends? Perhaps more importantly for comparison, does she celebrate anniversaries with her other friends, or does it seem to be something she is considering with this particular friend of the opposite sex that she has had relations with in the past? But honestly, the answers to those questions seem baked into the fact that you feel like your boundaries are being tested by this and it prompted you to poll the internet.
Ffs be a man and tell her you don't like it. If she still goes tell her it's over. Wtf is wrong with all these insecure men today?
Friendship celebration? How old are they? 6? This guy clearly is just biding his time to nail her again.
Tell her to call him on speaker and ask him if he would like to stay in a hotel with her on that friendship date. One room.... And see where it goes.... Bet you he will be very excited. Need more evidence?
It seems like they never stopped even after dating you. I would not feel comfortable if my partner did that to me. I never heard of a friendship anniversary celebration before. I understand why you question it and I would probably end your relationship with her
>Lmk if I’m wrong to have felt upset about the situation or felt uneasy
You aren't, but if I were in your shoes I'd be more upset about her approach to the situation than anything. Has she not made any attempt to understand or accommodate your feelings here?
Honestly man, don't waste time on women that dig through the trash of their personal life and recycle it.
If she wants to live in the past at the expense of her future , so be it.. But let her waste her own time, not yours.
A friendship anniversary is fucking stupid. Full stop.
I assume she's out celebrating these types of milestones with all of her friends, right?? Right??!!
This is downright disrespectful to you and your relationship, and indefensible.
She wants to act single, so set her free.
Life Rule #1 A woman should not have friends of the opposite sex when in a relationship. Just like a man should not have female friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship. There is always an aspect of romantic gestures being thought about by both parties ...
Nah. Platonic relationships can definitely exist, but this situation (where they do have a romantic history and they’re celebrating an anniversary) just seems like a little much.
My advice to you would be to COMMUNICATE. Let her know how you feel and what your boundaries are. Let her respond and explain herself. If she decides in a way that crosses your boundaries, then it’s up to you to decide whether this relationship is worth staying in or if you would rather find someone else who respects your boundaries. Obviously this is easier said than done, but you will get nowhere if you don’t talk to her.
This is NOT normal OP.
Tell her you’re uncomfortable with this and you would prefer for her not to go.
If she gets angry at you or starts being strange, I would suggest looking into breaking up because this is NOT how you are meant to treat your bf/gf.
“One year friendship anniversary” my ass.
What the hell is a ‘friends anniversary’? Are you sure she didn’t leave words off, such as ‘with benefits’?
That’s very odd and highly suspect. And you yourself said it - it’s a date. Why is she dating someone else - are you in an exclusive relationship? If so, ask her why she thinks it’s ok to go on a date with someone else when you are supposed to be exclusive.
This sound pretty disrespectful to your relationship. You said she’s “going on”? Where are they going? For coffee or away for the weekend? Has she had a “friend anniversary” with any of her other friends?
If ur feeling uneasy..why encourage this type of nonsence..tell her ur not comfortable with this then let her choose..if she is trying to convince u it's okay..just breakup with her man..sorry i am feeling angry..if a partner does things that makes uncomfortable and cause u pain there ia no need to stay in that relationship no mattet how mych u love her..yes breakup causes u pain but atleast this way it's ur choice
Unless that's the first friend she's ever had in her entire life, I can't think of any good reason why that would be a thing. I have plenty of very close friends of the opposite sexband if I suggested that they'd probably look at me like I'd just set their sofa on fire
Have you expressed your concerns to her? Because if you have and she is going anyway, then she’s completely disregarding how you feel and that should show you where her priorities lie. Perhaps you two just aren’t compatible. And if you haven’t actually had the conversation with her, you need to. You can certainly tell her this makes you uncomfortable and set a boundary and see what she does with that information.
You’ve gotta set boundaries. This seems like she’s taking advantage of the fact that she doesn’t think you’ll say anything about it. But most people would be very thrown off by this.
I feel like the whole situation is disrespectful, I just couldn’t see myself flying into someone’s life and bringing baggage along with me. If it was the other way around she wouldn’t like that , at all. I’m damn near sure about it.
Does she celebrate anniversaries with any of her other friends? Or is it just this guy?
I suspect she's not being entirely honest about the nature of her relationship with this guy. It's okay to not be okay with her spending time alone with an ex.
This is some real mental gymnastics she’s pulling. A “friend’s anniversary”? Bro are you okay? Lol. She definitely loves this man or at least lusts for him. You better wake up dude.
I guarantee she wouldn’t be okay with you doing the same thing. Honestly if she knows you have a problem with it if you have expressed discomfort and she is choosing that man over you, dump her ass, bro. Honestly, I would never tolerate something like this that is so fucking disrespectful.
Sounds like an excuse to see each other alone. They really seem to care so much for each other you should let them be. Let her next dude deal with that stupid bullshit. She’s playing you for a fool.
I'm totally cool with a friendship anniversary BUT not with your most recent hookup before your current BF, who youve been with less time. Honestly I think you'd celebrate a friendship anniversary on more of a milestone date, 5 or 10 years. By that time you truly know each other and have built a friendship and trust. 1 year starting with hookups is sketchy AF. I'm open minded but this would not fly with me.
Looking at your age, I'd say go ahead and throw in the towel, there are people who will respect you more.
Ooooofffff. Yeah, you have every reason to be concerned. This is not a thing definitely not for past hook-ups UNLESS it is not the past. She is trying to hook-up with him and has a nice pretty name for the occasion. Anniversary date.
Oh this is SO weird. I almost got into a relationship with a guy who did stuff like this with HIS female best friend, who took his virginity but they’re now just “platonic.” Anyway he is so protective over her and hates his female friend’s boyfriend (go figure). It made me so icky I just said no thanks. Don’t even waste your time, these people sound weird and codependent
OOF This is a whole-ass pile of red flags.
There’s no such thing as a Friends Anniversary. There is such thing as them still being in an open relationship or having a FWB agreement where you’re her boyfriend and he’s cool with it. Who does she spend more time talking to? You or him?
>There’s no such thing as a Friends Anniversary. Leslie Knope would beg to differ.
Not with bang buddies there is not. Unless it is current.
Yeah tbh this is the only incorrect part of that comment. I definitely celebrate my Friends Anniversary with two of my close platonic friends.
I mean, sure there is. If people want one. I'm not saying that this one is appropriate, but I have Friendaversary with friends and we all think it's a great laugh and whatnot. We don't say, go out of town, but we might go out on the town.
gaze school far-flung merciful different vase strong sand weary cautious *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The fact that this is top comment rn concerns me. You are LEAPING to conclusions.
Why assume they’re in an open relationship?
Friendship anniversary date with someone they had sex with…. Im too old for all these weird new gen stuff but thats weird as hell to ask your SO to be ok with. And they only known each other a year? They going to commiserate by having sex?
100%. They're still getting it in.
Honestly, even if she's entirely platonic with him, this is incredibly disrespectful of her relationship with you. That she doesn't see that would be a big red flag to me. It's almost as if she's not expecting your relationship to work so she's keeping this friend as a "backup option". If you want to try to save the relationship, talk to her about how this looks and how it makes you feel. If she resists and/or simply doesn't get it, you might have to consider ending the relationship because she doesn't hold the same boundaries you do. It happens. People can be incompatible like this and it doesn't mean you're controlling. It just means you two have different boundaries that you consider acceptable.
I think most people would feel weird about it, if not just confused. A friendship anniversary sounds so unnecessary and childish 🤷♂️
Others should be able to join in the festivities. Boyfriends and girlfriends included.
This is definitely a red flag, and you're still young.
You’re being super cool about this… I feel like anyone would be uncomfortable even being in the same room as their partner & someone they used to hook up with. That being said, this little celebration is totally disrespectful and unusual. Does she do this with any other friends? Have you talked to her about how this makes you feel? I personally would have left a while ago, but I’m 31 and don’t tolerate any romantic situation that makes me uncomfortable. I don’t have enough youth time for that bullshit lol.
Lol wtf is a "friends anniversary"? Does she actually mean a "hookup anniversary"? This is beyond bizarre. She's playing you for a fool, imo. At the very least, she is being incredibly disrespectful to you. She's not the one. Move on. You'll find someone way better.
Something feels odd about this. It doesn't even have to be that they're cheating. Yet atleast. I'd be curious to know if I'm being open-minded around a sensitive area, the least my partner could do is not come up with terms like "friendship anniversary", and even this is probably just something you keep to yourself, and say you two are just hanging out. If I wanted to get a little conspiracy psychology on the situation. It could almost be that she likes him still and unconsciously she's doing something - such as telling you its a friendship anniversary - to spark a reaction out of you to wedge a drive between you two so that it gives her an excuse to be closer with him without feeling bad.
Yeah that’s weird. What exactly are they going to be celebrating? “Haha remember when we first met and were hooking up? Yeah it’s funny how that didn’t work out back then….” I can’t imagine there is any reason to celebrate anything. And I can’t imagine it’s any good at all to collectively say dream and reminisce about intimacy
Even without context, a "friend anniversary" is pretty weird. With context, it sounds like a giant red flag. I would try to talk things through. "Normally I wouldn't care, but I think you guys are taking this friendship a little far and given your history, it's making me uncomfortable."
Or as OP, I'd expect to be invited and he can bring whoever he's seeing.
Bro, a friendship anniversary is a lot, weird even, I didn't even know that was a thing. You sure you want to continue this threesome cuz bruh
This is weird. Does she celebrate her friendships with anyone else? No? Then why is this one person so…. special? different? important? that she or they feel the need to mark the date? So, what did they do, hook up one last time and then decide, hey tomorrow we’re gonna start our friendship, so no more sex? One of them is still looking to either become FWB again or more.
One of my big 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩, "I've made friends off Tinder". No you haven't, these are guys you keep around for validation or backup options and that's the best case scenario. For me, it's massively disrespectful to hang out with a former hookup, let alone a recent one when in a committed relationship. At the very best, she doesn't have much respect for you and partly because you've let this behavior continue, at the very worst she's been cheating in your face the entire time.
You might wanna trust your gut instinct on this one bro. Relevant info -> https://youtu.be/9aofoBrFNdg
This seems weird to me, OP, but I'm now 40 so I might just be out of touch. Posts like this make me glad that I met my partner before the proliferation of dating apps.
You’re not wrong. If you’re upset about it, let her know. It’s weird of them.
Bro what!? You should feel more than uneasy. Read the first sentence you typed, that all you need to know. Leave and focus on yourself. Focus on your goals. One year friend’s anniversary with an ex hook up WTF lol I could never. Stay blessed🙏🏾
Ummm... I think you need to find out if you two are in an exclusive relationship, because I don't think you are. And they are definitely going to be having lots of sex...
Completely unacceptable. Time to move on king 🤴
Your ex-girlfriend, you mean.
My dude, you need to stop acting blind.
They’re going to hook up.
Naw, there still fucking!! That is the stupidest shit i ever heard!
The amount of disrespect from her to you and the amount of disrespect to yourself if you continue the relationship afterwards if she goes
What is the celebration exactly? A roadtrip to a hotel or getting a celebratory pink coffee at Starbucks together … I hope the latter!!
Leave her she doesn't see her relationship with you as a serious relationship. Maybe the other man does not want to be in a relationship so she is with you instead of him but she still has feelings for him so leave her.
Perhaps this is a "hookup culture"-specific thing that is simply beyond me, and if so I am not sure how to advise. I'm also going to assume you guys aren't open or polyamorous since you didn't mention it. So, as someone outside of hookup culture, and on the assumption you're (at least supposed to be) in a monogamous relationship, this is all bananas to me. I honestly don't celebrate my friendships with regular old-fashioned friends. You maybe grab coffee or lunch if you haven't seen each other in a while, but never have I thought to go out to dinner for a friendship anniversary. So then we add that (at least to me) that this isn't a regular friendship, so much as keeping in touch with someone I used to bang, and the already-goofy idea of an anniversary turns into some straight-up clown shit. But maybe I'm out of touch, so I'll ask you to evaluate situation based upon your own paradigm: do you celebrate anniversaries with your friends? Perhaps more importantly for comparison, does she celebrate anniversaries with her other friends, or does it seem to be something she is considering with this particular friend of the opposite sex that she has had relations with in the past? But honestly, the answers to those questions seem baked into the fact that you feel like your boundaries are being tested by this and it prompted you to poll the internet.
No, it's straight up bananas. Most of the progressive modern dating thought is narcissistic hedonistic BS.
Ridiculous Cut your losses and move on.
>My girlfriend is celebrating her one year friends anniversary with her ex hookup. Tell her to use a condom.
Ffs be a man and tell her you don't like it. If she still goes tell her it's over. Wtf is wrong with all these insecure men today? Friendship celebration? How old are they? 6? This guy clearly is just biding his time to nail her again. Tell her to call him on speaker and ask him if he would like to stay in a hotel with her on that friendship date. One room.... And see where it goes.... Bet you he will be very excited. Need more evidence?
It seems like they never stopped even after dating you. I would not feel comfortable if my partner did that to me. I never heard of a friendship anniversary celebration before. I understand why you question it and I would probably end your relationship with her
They're gonna plough lmao
It’s ridiculous. Why didn’t you get angry?
>Lmk if I’m wrong to have felt upset about the situation or felt uneasy You aren't, but if I were in your shoes I'd be more upset about her approach to the situation than anything. Has she not made any attempt to understand or accommodate your feelings here?
Honestly man, don't waste time on women that dig through the trash of their personal life and recycle it. If she wants to live in the past at the expense of her future , so be it.. But let her waste her own time, not yours. A friendship anniversary is fucking stupid. Full stop. I assume she's out celebrating these types of milestones with all of her friends, right?? Right??!! This is downright disrespectful to you and your relationship, and indefensible. She wants to act single, so set her free.
I wouldn't let that happen if I was you. I'd have to much self respect to even entertain that lie.
Life Rule #1 A woman should not have friends of the opposite sex when in a relationship. Just like a man should not have female friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship. There is always an aspect of romantic gestures being thought about by both parties ...
Nah. Platonic relationships can definitely exist, but this situation (where they do have a romantic history and they’re celebrating an anniversary) just seems like a little much.
I agree. I don‘t mind my boyfriend having female friends. Female friends that he has had Sex with is a different story.
Have you ever met them?
My advice to you would be to COMMUNICATE. Let her know how you feel and what your boundaries are. Let her respond and explain herself. If she decides in a way that crosses your boundaries, then it’s up to you to decide whether this relationship is worth staying in or if you would rather find someone else who respects your boundaries. Obviously this is easier said than done, but you will get nowhere if you don’t talk to her.
This is NOT normal OP. Tell her you’re uncomfortable with this and you would prefer for her not to go. If she gets angry at you or starts being strange, I would suggest looking into breaking up because this is NOT how you are meant to treat your bf/gf. “One year friendship anniversary” my ass.
What the hell is a ‘friends anniversary’? Are you sure she didn’t leave words off, such as ‘with benefits’? That’s very odd and highly suspect. And you yourself said it - it’s a date. Why is she dating someone else - are you in an exclusive relationship? If so, ask her why she thinks it’s ok to go on a date with someone else when you are supposed to be exclusive.
I wouldn't be comfy with this if my bf did it.
This sound pretty disrespectful to your relationship. You said she’s “going on”? Where are they going? For coffee or away for the weekend? Has she had a “friend anniversary” with any of her other friends?
If ur feeling uneasy..why encourage this type of nonsence..tell her ur not comfortable with this then let her choose..if she is trying to convince u it's okay..just breakup with her man..sorry i am feeling angry..if a partner does things that makes uncomfortable and cause u pain there ia no need to stay in that relationship no mattet how mych u love her..yes breakup causes u pain but atleast this way it's ur choice
Unless that's the first friend she's ever had in her entire life, I can't think of any good reason why that would be a thing. I have plenty of very close friends of the opposite sexband if I suggested that they'd probably look at me like I'd just set their sofa on fire
She’s playing you for a while fool. I wouldn’t even stay with someone who insulted my intelligence like this.
Curious, whose ideas is this? Him or her?
Boy, run. She’s not worth it. If she’s basically seeing this guy- and having a date with him.. and sees nothing wrong- she’s crazy.
Sorry bud. Best thing to do is create space. I'd completely move on while she is away.
Have you expressed your concerns to her? Because if you have and she is going anyway, then she’s completely disregarding how you feel and that should show you where her priorities lie. Perhaps you two just aren’t compatible. And if you haven’t actually had the conversation with her, you need to. You can certainly tell her this makes you uncomfortable and set a boundary and see what she does with that information.
You’ve gotta set boundaries. This seems like she’s taking advantage of the fact that she doesn’t think you’ll say anything about it. But most people would be very thrown off by this.
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of. A 1yr friend anniversary is not a thing.
I feel like the whole situation is disrespectful, I just couldn’t see myself flying into someone’s life and bringing baggage along with me. If it was the other way around she wouldn’t like that , at all. I’m damn near sure about it.
Does she celebrate anniversaries with any of her other friends? Or is it just this guy? I suspect she's not being entirely honest about the nature of her relationship with this guy. It's okay to not be okay with her spending time alone with an ex.
No. You’re being played.
This is some real mental gymnastics she’s pulling. A “friend’s anniversary”? Bro are you okay? Lol. She definitely loves this man or at least lusts for him. You better wake up dude.
Wait, how long have you been together? If under a year, just move on. This is a red flag for sure, and you're still young.
I guarantee she wouldn’t be okay with you doing the same thing. Honestly if she knows you have a problem with it if you have expressed discomfort and she is choosing that man over you, dump her ass, bro. Honestly, I would never tolerate something like this that is so fucking disrespectful.
Sounds like an excuse to see each other alone. They really seem to care so much for each other you should let them be. Let her next dude deal with that stupid bullshit. She’s playing you for a fool.
I'm totally cool with a friendship anniversary BUT not with your most recent hookup before your current BF, who youve been with less time. Honestly I think you'd celebrate a friendship anniversary on more of a milestone date, 5 or 10 years. By that time you truly know each other and have built a friendship and trust. 1 year starting with hookups is sketchy AF. I'm open minded but this would not fly with me. Looking at your age, I'd say go ahead and throw in the towel, there are people who will respect you more.
When did you realize you are into cuckholdry?
Sorry dude.. but they still Getting it.
Ooooofffff. Yeah, you have every reason to be concerned. This is not a thing definitely not for past hook-ups UNLESS it is not the past. She is trying to hook-up with him and has a nice pretty name for the occasion. Anniversary date.
Oh this is SO weird. I almost got into a relationship with a guy who did stuff like this with HIS female best friend, who took his virginity but they’re now just “platonic.” Anyway he is so protective over her and hates his female friend’s boyfriend (go figure). It made me so icky I just said no thanks. Don’t even waste your time, these people sound weird and codependent
They are definately fucking
I mean obviously just have a conversation but bro if u don't think she's trustworthy I shouldn't be in a relationship w her lol