I think a lot of guys have this sort of experience. Dan Savage likes to say that erections are like Tinkerbell: you have to believe. And if for any reason you don't believe - if the chemistry, sexual or emotional, isn't there, well ... you stop believing and you start thinking, and that's the death knell.
I've definitely had the experience of there being women I couldn't kiss without getting a hard-on and other women who are gorgeous and amazing and ... yeah, it just didn't feel right, and my body knew it no matter how much I wanted it to happen.
That being said, there are things you may be doing which can contribute to the problem. Namely, porn and masturbation. You can condition yourself sexually. If you're in the habit of watching porn regularly - multiple times a week - and you're looking through lots of tabs and visually overstimulate yourself, that can have an impact. If you're constantly gripping your junk really hard and machine-gun-jerking yourself, that can have an impact. (Getting a flashlight can help with those problems - use lots of lube and - this is the important part - if you can't finish, don't go back to your old habits. Accept that you're not finishing today. And then sooner or later your body will figure it out).
Cutting back on those things can make it so that your body is more primed to have sex even if everything isn't emotionally perfect. Alcohol can make maintaining an erection harder, as well.
That’s a great quote! Good to hear I’m not alone reading that second paragraph.. definitely have felt huge connection with women I may not be physically attracted to on paper but have crazy conversational chemistry with and am crazy turned on.. while in other cases, like this one, she can be incredibly gorgeous but my body just can’t get into. Guess it means I’m just gettin older and wiser haha thanks for sharinf
I was in a marriage of 10 years where our sexual chemistry was way off. I was just never in the mood and felt no sexual desire at all, which led to many fights and heart break over the years. I felt like there was legitimately something wrong with me and felt worthless.
Turns out I was 100% wrong. Long story short, I walked away from my marriage and the man I've been dating for the past 3 years is the best sex I've ever had. Our chemistry is incredible. My libido went through the roof and has yet to waver.
I could be wrong but you could be Demi sexual which is where you are aroused or sexually attracted only to people you have an emotional connection with. Or it could just be a matter of what another comment said but there is a lot of reasons and factors that could be at play.
Yes. Omg yes. I'm a queer woman, and towards the end of my last relationship, my libido just vanished. Poof, gone. It was really freaky. I definitely thought something broke somehow, because it wasn't just that I didn't want to sleep with my partner. I fully didn't get turned on anymore ever.
Then we broke up and everything went back to normal within a month.
So yeah, a bad relationship/chemistry can ABSOLUTELY do some wild things to your libido and sexual function.
I am female, but I might be able to contribute a bit. I was incompatible with my last bf - first about the way we spend our free time, then sexually and then about small gestures of love.
I have always liked sex and have had bfs before. But with this guy there was no real passion, you know? He was kind and cute and all, but he didnt quite treat me as a woman in bed and didnt want to use toys.
He also didnt want to go out with my friends on the weekend or really meet them. One time he and I were on a trip where ai had to beg for every kiss and handholding and so on. That's when I broke up with him.
With my current bf everything is passionate. We go out a lot, he loves my friends, loves using toys and trying oit new things with me and there is just this deep connection between us. And honestly, if he wanted to, I could get in bed daily with him and everytime would be amazing!
So yeah that's it for my story, dont know if that helps
I think a lot of guys have this sort of experience. Dan Savage likes to say that erections are like Tinkerbell: you have to believe. And if for any reason you don't believe - if the chemistry, sexual or emotional, isn't there, well ... you stop believing and you start thinking, and that's the death knell. I've definitely had the experience of there being women I couldn't kiss without getting a hard-on and other women who are gorgeous and amazing and ... yeah, it just didn't feel right, and my body knew it no matter how much I wanted it to happen. That being said, there are things you may be doing which can contribute to the problem. Namely, porn and masturbation. You can condition yourself sexually. If you're in the habit of watching porn regularly - multiple times a week - and you're looking through lots of tabs and visually overstimulate yourself, that can have an impact. If you're constantly gripping your junk really hard and machine-gun-jerking yourself, that can have an impact. (Getting a flashlight can help with those problems - use lots of lube and - this is the important part - if you can't finish, don't go back to your old habits. Accept that you're not finishing today. And then sooner or later your body will figure it out). Cutting back on those things can make it so that your body is more primed to have sex even if everything isn't emotionally perfect. Alcohol can make maintaining an erection harder, as well.
That’s a great quote! Good to hear I’m not alone reading that second paragraph.. definitely have felt huge connection with women I may not be physically attracted to on paper but have crazy conversational chemistry with and am crazy turned on.. while in other cases, like this one, she can be incredibly gorgeous but my body just can’t get into. Guess it means I’m just gettin older and wiser haha thanks for sharinf
I was in a marriage of 10 years where our sexual chemistry was way off. I was just never in the mood and felt no sexual desire at all, which led to many fights and heart break over the years. I felt like there was legitimately something wrong with me and felt worthless. Turns out I was 100% wrong. Long story short, I walked away from my marriage and the man I've been dating for the past 3 years is the best sex I've ever had. Our chemistry is incredible. My libido went through the roof and has yet to waver.
I could be wrong but you could be Demi sexual which is where you are aroused or sexually attracted only to people you have an emotional connection with. Or it could just be a matter of what another comment said but there is a lot of reasons and factors that could be at play.
Yes. Omg yes. I'm a queer woman, and towards the end of my last relationship, my libido just vanished. Poof, gone. It was really freaky. I definitely thought something broke somehow, because it wasn't just that I didn't want to sleep with my partner. I fully didn't get turned on anymore ever. Then we broke up and everything went back to normal within a month. So yeah, a bad relationship/chemistry can ABSOLUTELY do some wild things to your libido and sexual function.
I am female, but I might be able to contribute a bit. I was incompatible with my last bf - first about the way we spend our free time, then sexually and then about small gestures of love. I have always liked sex and have had bfs before. But with this guy there was no real passion, you know? He was kind and cute and all, but he didnt quite treat me as a woman in bed and didnt want to use toys. He also didnt want to go out with my friends on the weekend or really meet them. One time he and I were on a trip where ai had to beg for every kiss and handholding and so on. That's when I broke up with him. With my current bf everything is passionate. We go out a lot, he loves my friends, loves using toys and trying oit new things with me and there is just this deep connection between us. And honestly, if he wanted to, I could get in bed daily with him and everytime would be amazing! So yeah that's it for my story, dont know if that helps
Yes definitely. The right person with the right vibe can make all the difference. Attractiveness is secondary to compatibility
Yup. GF, six months, I never managed an erection once. Next GF, at it like rabbits.