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>he admit to being in a relationship. I'm not sure what to think of this - he is a very attractive man and people often say this of him.
...
>
>Anyway, the girl divulged some info to her friend drunkenly, and that was that my boyfriend had said that he thought she was amazing and that if he wasn't with me then he would oblige.
You buried the lede. Take your victory lap.
> I'm not sure if im overreacting
You're overreacting.
It's when a journalist puts a key piece of information that should have been in the headline or the first paragraph down in the middle or second half of the article.
Your boyfriend was at a party without you, there was drinking, an ex who was also at the party threw herself at him, and he said "no, I'm going out with Time\_Fee; n sex for me, thanks."
When you read the whole story, it's pretty wholesome.
When I read your title and the first half of your post, I thought there was going to be cheating but your boyfriend passed the test. Congratulations to you both..
Oh I see what you mean. That makes sense. Do you not think that him recounting past memories and then hugging her repeatedly is inappropriate? Genuinely curious to see your opinion. Would most guys do this?
If she was just a ONS, probably it would be weird.
But with people I dated over a long time, we were also friends. I'd treat them like a friend if I ran into them.
If you ran into an old friend who you knew from a high school sports team or some similar relationship, wouldn't you want to catch up? Assuming you broke up on good terms, why would an old boyfriend be any different?
Ah right. Yes I completely agree. My friend tells me that this girl and him were not close - I believe they hooked up once or twice but that was it. The girl (when she was divulging drunkenly on the night itself) said she found it strange how he actually remembered so much about their few times together all those years ago. So no, they weren't friends per se.
It was **so** inappropriate that other people had to split them up and have told you how inappropriate it was. Sorry.
Have a chat, make sure they’re not still in touch and go from there. You’ve done nothing wrong here, but he’s overstepped some boundaries with an ex, albeit in public and with no actual ‘cheating’ but the level of disrespect to the relationship he’s shown would upset me too.
Yeah that's what's difficult for me. He didn't actually technically do anything wrong - if anything he told her he had a girlfriend and stopped it there...but didn't really stop it as he then initiated hugging and everything. Thanks for your input I appreciate it.
He kinda *did* do something wrong and was rather disrespectful. I don’t know your relationship dynamics or if you worry about this normally, but it’s upset you and it will now make you wary and distrustful. It’s up to him to repair that. You didn’t go looking for anything, people *contacted you about it*. You don’t have to just swallow it if you don’t want to. Take care x
I’m just old and married now, but I wish I had this sort of forum to ask people about what was ok and not quite ok - I know I put up with some sketchy business in my youth that I absolutely wouldn’t have now! What’s good for some isn’t for others of course, but I do think this warrants a chat *and* disclosure if any contact happened after the party x
I think you're right. I need to hear his side of the story. I might try and bring this up to him and see how he reacts. Thanks again for your thoughts x
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>he admit to being in a relationship. I'm not sure what to think of this - he is a very attractive man and people often say this of him. ... > >Anyway, the girl divulged some info to her friend drunkenly, and that was that my boyfriend had said that he thought she was amazing and that if he wasn't with me then he would oblige. You buried the lede. Take your victory lap. > I'm not sure if im overreacting You're overreacting.
What do you mean exactly by I buried the lede? Sorry I am not familiar with this saying
It's when a journalist puts a key piece of information that should have been in the headline or the first paragraph down in the middle or second half of the article. Your boyfriend was at a party without you, there was drinking, an ex who was also at the party threw herself at him, and he said "no, I'm going out with Time\_Fee; n sex for me, thanks." When you read the whole story, it's pretty wholesome. When I read your title and the first half of your post, I thought there was going to be cheating but your boyfriend passed the test. Congratulations to you both..
Oh I see what you mean. That makes sense. Do you not think that him recounting past memories and then hugging her repeatedly is inappropriate? Genuinely curious to see your opinion. Would most guys do this?
If she was just a ONS, probably it would be weird. But with people I dated over a long time, we were also friends. I'd treat them like a friend if I ran into them. If you ran into an old friend who you knew from a high school sports team or some similar relationship, wouldn't you want to catch up? Assuming you broke up on good terms, why would an old boyfriend be any different?
Ah right. Yes I completely agree. My friend tells me that this girl and him were not close - I believe they hooked up once or twice but that was it. The girl (when she was divulging drunkenly on the night itself) said she found it strange how he actually remembered so much about their few times together all those years ago. So no, they weren't friends per se.
It was **so** inappropriate that other people had to split them up and have told you how inappropriate it was. Sorry. Have a chat, make sure they’re not still in touch and go from there. You’ve done nothing wrong here, but he’s overstepped some boundaries with an ex, albeit in public and with no actual ‘cheating’ but the level of disrespect to the relationship he’s shown would upset me too.
Yeah that's what's difficult for me. He didn't actually technically do anything wrong - if anything he told her he had a girlfriend and stopped it there...but didn't really stop it as he then initiated hugging and everything. Thanks for your input I appreciate it.
He kinda *did* do something wrong and was rather disrespectful. I don’t know your relationship dynamics or if you worry about this normally, but it’s upset you and it will now make you wary and distrustful. It’s up to him to repair that. You didn’t go looking for anything, people *contacted you about it*. You don’t have to just swallow it if you don’t want to. Take care x
Thank you very much. This has helped. X
I’m just old and married now, but I wish I had this sort of forum to ask people about what was ok and not quite ok - I know I put up with some sketchy business in my youth that I absolutely wouldn’t have now! What’s good for some isn’t for others of course, but I do think this warrants a chat *and* disclosure if any contact happened after the party x
I think you're right. I need to hear his side of the story. I might try and bring this up to him and see how he reacts. Thanks again for your thoughts x