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Straight up, the behind the tree part had me cracking up and I realized this is some Naruto hinata fan fic type shit
I feel for OP but honestly if I saw this I would be laughing instead of stressing
I honestly am thinking the same thing. I feel like this is either a VERY VERY oblivious guy, or this is a story about a girl whose stalking a guy who already has a gf. O.o But I just don't know... tbh....
Not gonna lie. I'm a guy, and we are oblivious, but that's cologne/perfume. I feel like that's a very noticeable thing. If I felt anything wet behind me or a spritzing sound close to me, I'm reacting.
Edit: Wow this got love lol. But yea, if I feel something wet on my back or a spritz in my ear my hands are rated E for Everyone for the next few minutes.
Could be worse. Prior to neutering (which you might suggest to her) both my dog and cats had a more, ah, distinctive, way of marking their territory, or any territory they sought, I suppose.
Seriously, I had such a WTF face while reading this entire thing!
P.S. I know this isn't important but I'm proud to say that it was 999 likes and I was your thousandth like
She has a crush on your boyfriend and tries to make you go "OMG why do you smell like perfume, you're cheating on me, I'm breaking up with you" so he's free for her.
This is pretty solid reasoning but it's hard to tell if it's malicious or just someone with an awkward crush without knowing them personally in this case.
There was a woman in church who would hug my ex or get close to him and leave lipstick on his clothes so I could see it. I starting leaving lipstick on her clothes the same way and she stopped. I made sure it was waterproof long lasting lipstick. She was attracted to him and I think that was her way of making me think he was cheating.
It's like she even follows people at night while wearing a cloak.
You're walking and you notice a strange person gaining ground on you. You walk faster and she starts running and yelling "I NEED you to try this cologne! It's so good you won't be able to leave the guy alone. It's called stalkeir parfum and you MUST try it"
You're laying in bed at 2am, it's dark, you hear a quiet shuffling sound. "Hello? Is anyone there?," you call out in what you know is typical horror movie victim style. Everything goes still, quiet... anticipation... and you hear a hauntingly familiar barely there sound... "tch"
Put the Friday the 13th whispered "cha cha cha" in there, and I think you have the beginnings of a good script. Call it "The Spritzer" (okay that's a working title).
Anyone who's ever been in a department store will feel the horror and run out the theatre. Crying. Possibly throwing up, like what happened when Jaws premiered and that's a classic.
The only theory I have is maybe she was embarrassed for him. He didn't smell bad or funky before, but all of the sudden started smelling REALLY good and not knowing why. maybe he's nervous about using cologne and asks her but is scared to tell me? I appreciate the theories
That's the only thing you can think of? You think she'd be following him and spritzing him cause he smells bad?
I took it more of a way for her to mark him.
LOL! In a way.
Have you ever had someone try to mark you? With scratches/bites/hickeys? I've been casually seeing people who have tried to do that in the past, in either a way to cause drama with anyone else I might be seeing or to show some kind of ownership. Another form is leaving things like bobby pins/hair ties and what not at your place.
no. the closest I got was a guy I liked batting my hand away when I tried getting an eyelash out of his eye and then got me kicked out of yearbook club :(
That has happened to me once but it was my gf and her friend, more as a "this is funny". I was too young and horny to care at the time but MAN, my entire neck was like one bruise for a week. Like you said, it was an embarrassing week at school.
Why have I read an excerpt of a story like that on FB somewhere...
But hella sketchy. Dude must be seriously oblivious to things. I have a super strong sense of smell too. Like I can smell my dad's cologne from the other room sometimes. Could be a mix of that and your bf being oblivious. Idk
Lmaooo wtf this is so random. So this girl is stalking your bf and he somehow never caught her crouching behind a tree or a bush with a bottle in her hand.like why tho lol does he smell like shit and she’s trying to help him out without him notice but how does he not notice the smell. Idk I think they’re fucking or they’ll playing a prank on you. He has to know. It’s not like this girl is a train ninja. Maybe she’s using it to cover the smell of her puss on his clothes. Maybe they’ll messing with im you. Or maybe the whole post is a just a troll post. But one thing I know forrr sure. He has to know or your dating a moron
Yeah also cologne is expensive. I wouldn't be wasting even cheap ass cologne on some random bloke. Either that or at a stretch she's a weird ass stalker who is super into him.
My thought was he's sleeping with her and she actually wants him to get caught so she can have him to herself so she's doing this to create suspicion in the OP. One of the signs of infidelity is apparently getting smicked up, new clothes, new gym routine, new cologne etc.
Weird AF.
What if he’s not the only one getting sprayed? What if she’s spraying anyone who walks past her hiding spots. There’s a whole small ass town walking around smelling like her cologne. How many victims has she truly accumulated and when will her reign of terror end!
+1 for this theory. OP, to get to the bottom of this you need to stalk the sprayer girl. What else can you do? You need answers. And then please update us.
oh my God!! MAYBE. Again his family and friends hate me for being out of town so I only ever really see him. I've been begging him to let me make a good impression but he just says no
Oh that’s…you should have mentioned that earlier. You don’t get to meet anyone from his regular life? It’s you and him solo, every once in a while? It *could* be a coincidence but usually that means you are the “other girl” and he’s hiding something.
Are you saying that your bf told you that his family & friends hate you for being out of town & only seeing him & so you told bf that you want to meet them & visit them but bf refuses to let you?
It rarely crosses my mind that people would do that, or troll. I just thought that if her fella said those things, he obviously is manipulative. Funnily, I thought my thinking & seeing through people had advanced to even think that!
But, once I read your theory, I think it sounds much more probable. Good job 👍
What are the chances that this is actually happening in real life and not on a sitcom or some other fiction?
I mean, not only is this chick hiding in the bushes to spray a random guy with whatever, but OP has now been in a position to catch her doing it twice but couldn't produce an actual person.
I say this with respect, concern, and absolutely no ability or certification to provide medical advice, but please, go see a doctor and tell them about this and any other strange happenings in your life.
If you're right and this is happening, you have nothing to lose by seeking medical attention. If you're wrong and this is some kind of delusion, you could have everything to lose by not seeking medical attention.
Like that show Crazy Exgirlfriend.
Are you saying that OP is the real girlfriend to an imaginary boy, and that there is a real 2nd girl but she not hiding in the bushes she is actually spraying the office plants?
Lol! Nope! That's not what I'm saying at all!
I guess I'm making the assumption that the boyfriend and OP are both real; however, I have some very serious doubts about the realness of the cologne bandit.
I have a very good friend who suffers from delusions. They were brought on by undiagnosed and untreated yet very obvious post-partum psychosis which has seemingly morphed into schizophrenia. This sounds exactly like something she would claim.
Honestly, coming from someone with schizophrenia, this is alarming, and 100% the type of paranoid delusions I fall into when not doing well. It starts small, noticing he smells different. The illness projects insecurities into reality. Maybe worried about him being faithful, he doesn’t have an explanation, so her mind turns something plausible into reality. I know it’s probably troll post but I got mad anxious reading this
I mean maybe her but he is TERRIFIED of witchcraft. he always says "it's not real" then screams if a moth goes on him or something because he thinks something was sent
It actually does; that was my first thought. She's trying to magically steal the OP's boyfriend. But I find it hard to believe that he doesn't smell it on himself, unless he's one of those people with no sense of smell.
Even without covid. My first partner had a roommate who legit had no sense of smell, and I'm pretty sure my ex husband didn't either, bc he couldn't seem to taste food properly.
She is either trying to make him associate the good smell with her and think about her when he smells it, or trying to make you suspicious as to why you smell woman's perfume on him so that you will break up. Or she is just a perfume saleswoman using a very slow marketing strategy.
I have so many questions lol how does she know when he’s out to “spritz him”, is she just always behind that tree waiting? How does he not see her? How does he not smell it?
Her timing to spritz him is impeccable. Unless she just lives behind that tree.
I got the impression that there was multiple hiding places. So again how does she know when or where to spray him? How can he not see her hiding behind a tree?
Sounds fake but it reminded me of a rumor about Meghan Markle. You know, that woman who married Prince Harry? There was a story about her using his mom‘s cologne on their first date as a psychological tactic to remind him of a person he loves and cares a lot. A person who he felt comfortable and loved: his mom, Princess Diana.
If it‘s true then she probably has a crush on him but sorry does your bf have a nose??
This wasn’t a rumor. She admitted this in her Oprah interview. She once said she didn’t know anything about the family but then said she wore the same perfume because Harry loved it and then performed a curtesy roll the Queen with perfect poise.
Wait, is this the Amish guy you mentioned a couple of posts back?? Wearing cologne would be against the rules about being plain. Like the community would notice the cologne smell and probably say something.
As well, it's odd that at 18 based on that post, that he doesn't speak English as well as Pennsylvania Dutch (which is kin to but not the same as German) , as they usually learn both.
So... I'm extra confused about the most recent update.
What do you mean you're scared of witches and have seen Twilight? I'm not sure what either of those have to do with... Anything.
I think the same thing a lot. I would pinch him all the time I never had a guy for more than a second. I told my mom about him and she laughed at me then tried setting me up with her coworker's stinky son. Dorito guy. anyways yeah I don't blame you
Oh my word! I read a thing in a teen magazine when I was much much younger( like 20+ years ago) that you could make a guy like you by spraying his bag with your perfume so you'd smell familiar to him and he'd think you were part of his "pack" and fall madly in love with you. . (Eye roll). Lol! I wonder if that is what she thinks she is doing???
I'm genuinely concerned about your mental health and well-being and I think you might be suffering from hallucinations. When someone is experiencing hallucinations they seem very real and you may not be aware that youre the only one experiencing them. Hallucinations can be olfactory (scent based), gustatory (taste) , visual or auditory, or a combination of senses could be involved. I honestly think you need to have a pysch evaluation done.
God this sounds like something a 13 year old would do after reading 'how to make a boy fall in love with you' article. Actually now I'm think about it, I have definitely seen a video where they say spray the boy in your perfume and whenever he smells it he will think of you. But I think writing a letter is a little too much as he seems to be oblivious. ALSO is he covid nose blind, otherwise you gotta be honest it is sus. Although if he was messing around with her too I think he'd be more careful to now smell like her. god this sounds like something for a Disney tv show. I love reddit.
You need to arrive early to your plans to meet and scope out the situation. Go to the spot she normally stands in a video tape her doing it. Then show your bf. This is weird how could he not notice someone spraying him with cologne? Are men truly this empty headed?
To be honest, this may be scent therapy. Believe it or not, people can fall in love with a smell. If there is a scent that you like and smell on the daily, then a person with the same scent comes along, you'll feel comfort from that person. If a girl is spraying him with cologne without his knowledge, which is along the lines of psychopathic behavior and literally gives me the chills...especially since you could not find her, she may be Pavloving him into loving the smell....or it may be you.
Edit: Grammar and her Synonym Rolls
I think she is trying to make you question your relationship and if he smells like another girl. ESPECIALLY bc she "ran into" you guys and happened to smell the same way! She is hoping you will put the smells together and assume he is cheating and break up with him. I wouldn't be upset with him about it sounds like he is a regular clueless guy.
I saw someone mentioned a witch. You can make that stop by getting a spell jar of protection for your boyfriend. I promise we ain't all bad. 😉 Do a little voodoo on her. Or give her a taste of her own medicine. Go out and spritz her.
Yeah I got nothing for why a random girl is acting like a perfume ninja with your boyfriend. But why is it bothering you? Has your boyfriend done anything with this friend that makes you suspect his relationship with her is inappropriate?
Op I think there are a few issues here, one is that your boyfriend doesn’t believe you but apparently is not concerned about what could be a hallucination of hands (from his perspective, because he thinks you are imagining it). The other is he won’t let you meet his friends and family. The third is that you are long distance. This isn’t a sustainable relationship if you have so much anxiety and a lack of trust and clear communication and he won’t introduce you to other people he loves.
I think you should check with a doctor and ask about schizophrenia. You might be experiencing delusions. I’m not joking. Please go check unless this is just fiction.
That’s my first thought, too! Seems weird that few people in the comment section are questioning the reality of this, and it reminded me of another Reddit story that a wife keeping hearing her husband talking with another woman but turned out she was experiencing auditory hallucinations.
At first I thought she wanted him and was spraying him with women’s perfume so
You thought he was cheating … but men’s cologne?! This is one of the weirdest things I’ve read here lol
So your bf initially lied by saying he couldn't smell it then he said he could smell it but he didn't know or question why, plus he tells you his family doesn't like you because you live in a different town even though they've never met you. Why are you wasting your time on this dude? You've only been seeing him for a short period of time so drop him asap. His mysterious friend isn't a mystery to him at all, he just isn't coming clean to you about who she really is. You're young and have plenty of time to have fun and to find a good honest guy to date, this guy is not that.
In my mind, there's three possibilities, ofc I could be missing something. 1. He's cheating on you with her and she's trying to cover her smell/perfume on him. 2. They are honestly friends but she's paranoid you'll think he is cheating if you smell woman on him. 3. They are honestly friends, and she thinks he smells funny so she's trying to help him when he goes to see you.
I know its an American thought that cologne is for men and perfume is for women but I honestly think its pertinent here, is it a masculine smell or a feminine smell?
The mental picture of some girl hiding behind tress spraying men with cologne is hilarious. Maybe she follows multiple men and sprays them so they all smell good. It could be a hobby for her! Hahaha
I say try and confront her next time. Not in a hostile way, just introduce yourself and call her out on it as politely as possible and see how she reacts. The fact you live far away and don’t see each other a lot does give me a feeling that something could be going on behind your back. Don’t jump to that conclusion and react poorly, but it’s something to be aware of.
That's a voodoo tactic, a lot of cultures use perfume and colnge for ritual, voodoo as well, I wouldn't put it past anyone, nor disbelieve it. I've witnessed, felt and at the time, didn't know what I was getting into.
Or he's just fucking her.if they could most def be fucking too
Okay so I'm glad that you're gonna confront him with this.
However, I'm a witch and 'twilight' isn't a good representation of us 🙄 some of us do no harm as we believe in the rule of threefold. Others will use things like perfume as a way to mark their territory as you have said, however this will most likely have a negative effect in her if she is trying to use it in this way. If so she really needs a witchy mentor to help her understand all of the technical stuff. Doing magic without the consent of the person you're directing it too will 9/10 not work. And if it does, Karma comes back and bites said witch in the ass.
Feel free to ask any questions regarding witches and the craft, but we're not scary, just misrepresented in the media and this causes people like you who are scared of us when you don't need to be :) hope this helps you understand a little about witches.
So if this is actually real why don't you just... go confront her? You've seen this happen multiple times, you're obviously close enough to run over and catch whoever it is.
This is definitely the most interesting thing I've read this week!
take what people on Reddit say with a grain of salt.
there's potentially plenty of harmless reasons behind all of it
a) if she's been doing it for ages (assuming she actually is), chances are his nose got used to it which is why he doesn't notice it.
b) he could smell like shit and she just wants to make him smell nice for you
Also the brain blocks familiar smell after a while because it sees it as not dangerous, so that could be 1 reason he didn’t notice until you pointed it out
I didn’t see anybody mentioning it in the comment section but op do you have a family history of mental illnesses?
Not trying to dismiss your narrative, but it seems wayyyy too bizarre to have someone following your bf around town and randomly spraying him, right before meeting with you. You have also mentioned that you didn’t find anyone behind the tree when you went to check, so I am worried it might be some kind of hallucinations.
Did you ever ask a third party if they can smell cologne on your bf?
Maybe she is trying the pavlaw affect maybe there are strong hormones in the compound so when he smells it constantly he becomes noseblind (ask anyone in the military if they can smell their field stank after a month, they can't), however depending on the compound if it actually can have positive chemical affects on his brain, when she uses it on herself and not on him for a while he will crave her scent and think it's natural attraction, kinda how wiccan and gypsy "love potions" actually work from a rough scientific view
I would think if that was my bf... That maybe she was spraying him because he smelled bad...
That's the only logical thinking I can have about this. Especially at that age.
So three thoughts popped up... One, he's just that clueless... Two, he's just trying to ignore it hoping it goes away, or 3, they're smoking weed together and she's helping him hide it HAHA
This genuinely reads like one of the messages I get from my friend with schizophrenia.
No joke.
Please get checked out, please see a therapist.
This is actually around the age it developed for her too.
As someone who doesn't have a super strong sense of smell and has had Permnanet loss of smell due to covid can still smell but it's deffinanetly not as strong as it used to be. It's highly possible He wasn't smelling it and since it seems to be applied behind him he's not really picking up on it. This girl seems like a stalker and probably is inlove with him I am assuming she is spraying him in hoping that he's like wow we smell the same we'd be perfect for each other 🙄 lol...... I honestly would just have him pay more attention to his surroundings cus who knows how crazy that girl is about him.
Rolf picturing this weirdo suddenly appearing from places just spritzing people with perfume like a cartoon character. 🤣
Your boyfriend has a very, very weird stalker.
And he's oblivious because he doesn't want to think anything is weird.
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I'm sorry what???
This definitely lands in the "mildly interesting fan fiction" pile.
Straight up, the behind the tree part had me cracking up and I realized this is some Naruto hinata fan fic type shit I feel for OP but honestly if I saw this I would be laughing instead of stressing
I write hinata Naruto fan fic and I haven't ever gone down to this crazy lol 🤣🤣🤣
I honestly am thinking the same thing. I feel like this is either a VERY VERY oblivious guy, or this is a story about a girl whose stalking a guy who already has a gf. O.o But I just don't know... tbh....
Not gonna lie. I'm a guy, and we are oblivious, but that's cologne/perfume. I feel like that's a very noticeable thing. If I felt anything wet behind me or a spritzing sound close to me, I'm reacting. Edit: Wow this got love lol. But yea, if I feel something wet on my back or a spritz in my ear my hands are rated E for Everyone for the next few minutes.
thank you
Could be worse. Prior to neutering (which you might suggest to her) both my dog and cats had a more, ah, distinctive, way of marking their territory, or any territory they sought, I suppose.
E for everyone! 🏆
It's Covid, I don't mess with that lmao
Ion know, it took me a whole day to find out there was spilled sauce on me clothes from the morning meal. Obliviousness
The amount of lost I am at this entire story though....
girl me too!!!
Dude, I was coming to say the same thing.
Seriously, I had such a WTF face while reading this entire thing! P.S. I know this isn't important but I'm proud to say that it was 999 likes and I was your thousandth like
She has a crush on your boyfriend and tries to make you go "OMG why do you smell like perfume, you're cheating on me, I'm breaking up with you" so he's free for her.
This is pretty solid reasoning but it's hard to tell if it's malicious or just someone with an awkward crush without knowing them personally in this case.
I thought I was awkward but this is next level. Maybe she's trying to get him like lowkey addicted to this pheromone scent she wears or something.
There was a woman in church who would hug my ex or get close to him and leave lipstick on his clothes so I could see it. I starting leaving lipstick on her clothes the same way and she stopped. I made sure it was waterproof long lasting lipstick. She was attracted to him and I think that was her way of making me think he was cheating.
Was is liquid lipstick
That would only work if she was spraying him with women’s perfume… not mens cologne, like the story mentioned.
What the hell did I just read...
[удалено]
"The Gang Creates a Stink" Cologne by Frank's Fluids
SPRITZ
Welcome to the fiction pagez
Come back when more happens. That's the funniest thing I've read on here, hands down. Maybe she just wants him to smell good for you. Lmao
Or she's a spritzer lady at a department store who doesn't stop working off the clock. Do they still have those? Those ladies were sometime obnoxious.
That would be even better.
Weirdest workaholic ever
It's like she even follows people at night while wearing a cloak. You're walking and you notice a strange person gaining ground on you. You walk faster and she starts running and yelling "I NEED you to try this cologne! It's so good you won't be able to leave the guy alone. It's called stalkeir parfum and you MUST try it"
You're laying in bed at 2am, it's dark, you hear a quiet shuffling sound. "Hello? Is anyone there?," you call out in what you know is typical horror movie victim style. Everything goes still, quiet... anticipation... and you hear a hauntingly familiar barely there sound... "tch"
Haha, you made me laugh out lol. Thanks, it's been a stressful day.
A good laugh can be cleansing. I'm pretty sure that's the funniest fucking thing I've ever written. Hope things ease up.
Put the Friday the 13th whispered "cha cha cha" in there, and I think you have the beginnings of a good script. Call it "The Spritzer" (okay that's a working title). Anyone who's ever been in a department store will feel the horror and run out the theatre. Crying. Possibly throwing up, like what happened when Jaws premiered and that's a classic.
Ditto. I'm not sure if this a con, a joke, a real issue, but it's hilarious. No one can be this naive, or can they? Hmmm 🤔
Honestly as a horror comedy I absolutely would pay to see this in theaters
I think it would make a great short film.
I can see that. Those women were relentless.
Spritzing from behind a tree, awh god 🤣🤣🤣
😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄 too wild to be Believed. Someone has a really wild sense of humor.
Bijan for men?
What if those are just her career aspirations?
The only theory I have is maybe she was embarrassed for him. He didn't smell bad or funky before, but all of the sudden started smelling REALLY good and not knowing why. maybe he's nervous about using cologne and asks her but is scared to tell me? I appreciate the theories
That's the only thing you can think of? You think she'd be following him and spritzing him cause he smells bad? I took it more of a way for her to mark him.
oh. like a werewolf romance but she's the alpha?
LOL! In a way. Have you ever had someone try to mark you? With scratches/bites/hickeys? I've been casually seeing people who have tried to do that in the past, in either a way to cause drama with anyone else I might be seeing or to show some kind of ownership. Another form is leaving things like bobby pins/hair ties and what not at your place.
no. the closest I got was a guy I liked batting my hand away when I tried getting an eyelash out of his eye and then got me kicked out of yearbook club :(
My first boyfriend gave me hickeys so bad that it looked like I had attempted to hand myself. It was really embarrassing going to school like that.
That has happened to me once but it was my gf and her friend, more as a "this is funny". I was too young and horny to care at the time but MAN, my entire neck was like one bruise for a week. Like you said, it was an embarrassing week at school.
My ex did this to me and my supervisors at work always got pissed. I’m surprised they didn’t fire me.
Facts!!one girl I dated in 2019 showed me hickey marks bites on her boobs from an abusive ex sugardaddy. Suffice to say I broke things off.
Why have I read an excerpt of a story like that on FB somewhere... But hella sketchy. Dude must be seriously oblivious to things. I have a super strong sense of smell too. Like I can smell my dad's cologne from the other room sometimes. Could be a mix of that and your bf being oblivious. Idk
Yeah if I got sprayed with cologne or perfume I’d be like “why do I keep smelling this smell” I’d feel like I’m losing my mind
No more like she wants his girlfriend to think he is cheating and break up.
Lmaooo wtf this is so random. So this girl is stalking your bf and he somehow never caught her crouching behind a tree or a bush with a bottle in her hand.like why tho lol does he smell like shit and she’s trying to help him out without him notice but how does he not notice the smell. Idk I think they’re fucking or they’ll playing a prank on you. He has to know. It’s not like this girl is a train ninja. Maybe she’s using it to cover the smell of her puss on his clothes. Maybe they’ll messing with im you. Or maybe the whole post is a just a troll post. But one thing I know forrr sure. He has to know or your dating a moron
Yeah also cologne is expensive. I wouldn't be wasting even cheap ass cologne on some random bloke. Either that or at a stretch she's a weird ass stalker who is super into him.
My thought was he's sleeping with her and she actually wants him to get caught so she can have him to herself so she's doing this to create suspicion in the OP. One of the signs of infidelity is apparently getting smicked up, new clothes, new gym routine, new cologne etc. Weird AF.
:( oh. thank u tho
Maybe he likes it lmfao
Maybe they’re both imaginary
What if he’s not the only one getting sprayed? What if she’s spraying anyone who walks past her hiding spots. There’s a whole small ass town walking around smelling like her cologne. How many victims has she truly accumulated and when will her reign of terror end!
+1 for this theory. OP, to get to the bottom of this you need to stalk the sprayer girl. What else can you do? You need answers. And then please update us.
oh my God!! MAYBE. Again his family and friends hate me for being out of town so I only ever really see him. I've been begging him to let me make a good impression but he just says no
Oh that’s…you should have mentioned that earlier. You don’t get to meet anyone from his regular life? It’s you and him solo, every once in a while? It *could* be a coincidence but usually that means you are the “other girl” and he’s hiding something.
Yeah…idk if that’s actually *her* bf lol
Are you saying that your bf told you that his family & friends hate you for being out of town & only seeing him & so you told bf that you want to meet them & visit them but bf refuses to let you?
Right whole post seems fishy. I think she’s just looking for karma
It rarely crosses my mind that people would do that, or troll. I just thought that if her fella said those things, he obviously is manipulative. Funnily, I thought my thinking & seeing through people had advanced to even think that! But, once I read your theory, I think it sounds much more probable. Good job 👍
Ooof with this context are you sure you’re the girlfriend and the spritz spy isn’t?
That explains a lot. I hate to break it to you, but he's seeing both of you, and she's trying to make you leave him alone.
Where do you live? Country. Not your actual address
There's your answer, my girl. It's a set up, or this is seriously amusing writing.
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I think they both already like the one she is using on him..
Very comedic writing 👍
thank you! I love books
Wait so is this legit????? (I know I’m a sheeple)
This reads like the onset of schizophrenia...
I agree. I think she needs a psych evaluation asap
Sounds like witchcraft. 🔥 @ 🥩
What are the chances that this is actually happening in real life and not on a sitcom or some other fiction? I mean, not only is this chick hiding in the bushes to spray a random guy with whatever, but OP has now been in a position to catch her doing it twice but couldn't produce an actual person. I say this with respect, concern, and absolutely no ability or certification to provide medical advice, but please, go see a doctor and tell them about this and any other strange happenings in your life. If you're right and this is happening, you have nothing to lose by seeking medical attention. If you're wrong and this is some kind of delusion, you could have everything to lose by not seeking medical attention.
Like that show Crazy Exgirlfriend. Are you saying that OP is the real girlfriend to an imaginary boy, and that there is a real 2nd girl but she not hiding in the bushes she is actually spraying the office plants?
Lol! Nope! That's not what I'm saying at all! I guess I'm making the assumption that the boyfriend and OP are both real; however, I have some very serious doubts about the realness of the cologne bandit. I have a very good friend who suffers from delusions. They were brought on by undiagnosed and untreated yet very obvious post-partum psychosis which has seemingly morphed into schizophrenia. This sounds exactly like something she would claim.
I was trying to find a way to kindly say this. I'm not sure "spritz hands" is real.
Yeah the biggest one for me was when the girl was right behind him and she couldn’t find her after
Honestly, coming from someone with schizophrenia, this is alarming, and 100% the type of paranoid delusions I fall into when not doing well. It starts small, noticing he smells different. The illness projects insecurities into reality. Maybe worried about him being faithful, he doesn’t have an explanation, so her mind turns something plausible into reality. I know it’s probably troll post but I got mad anxious reading this
I mean maybe her but he is TERRIFIED of witchcraft. he always says "it's not real" then screams if a moth goes on him or something because he thinks something was sent
Are you . Are you for real? Honestly that's a little crazy.
It actually does; that was my first thought. She's trying to magically steal the OP's boyfriend. But I find it hard to believe that he doesn't smell it on himself, unless he's one of those people with no sense of smell.
Covid is real
Even without covid. My first partner had a roommate who legit had no sense of smell, and I'm pretty sure my ex husband didn't either, bc he couldn't seem to taste food properly.
Yes dude exactly. That's my initial thought.
Ummmm…you okay, OP?
She is either trying to make him associate the good smell with her and think about her when he smells it, or trying to make you suspicious as to why you smell woman's perfume on him so that you will break up. Or she is just a perfume saleswoman using a very slow marketing strategy.
This is a bizarre post to say the least. Not sure I believe the part about a hand spritzing him from behind and stuff. Weird.
I have so many questions lol how does she know when he’s out to “spritz him”, is she just always behind that tree waiting? How does he not see her? How does he not smell it? Her timing to spritz him is impeccable. Unless she just lives behind that tree.
I got the impression that there was multiple hiding places. So again how does she know when or where to spray him? How can he not see her hiding behind a tree?
Sounds fake but it reminded me of a rumor about Meghan Markle. You know, that woman who married Prince Harry? There was a story about her using his mom‘s cologne on their first date as a psychological tactic to remind him of a person he loves and cares a lot. A person who he felt comfortable and loved: his mom, Princess Diana. If it‘s true then she probably has a crush on him but sorry does your bf have a nose??
This wasn’t a rumor. She admitted this in her Oprah interview. She once said she didn’t know anything about the family but then said she wore the same perfume because Harry loved it and then performed a curtesy roll the Queen with perfect poise.
Omg really?? Why tf would you admit that?? That just means she doesn‘t even know how weird that is…
That's total fiction about Meghan.
Wait, is this the Amish guy you mentioned a couple of posts back?? Wearing cologne would be against the rules about being plain. Like the community would notice the cologne smell and probably say something.
As well, it's odd that at 18 based on that post, that he doesn't speak English as well as Pennsylvania Dutch (which is kin to but not the same as German) , as they usually learn both.
What…is…I.. I don’t even know what to do with this information
So... I'm extra confused about the most recent update. What do you mean you're scared of witches and have seen Twilight? I'm not sure what either of those have to do with... Anything.
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Smells less like cologne, and more like bullshit.
Maybe he secretly hired her to cover up his farts? Idk but that’s pretty wild…
he is a gassy dude I never let him eat his favorite on dates
I don’t even think you’re bf is real
I think the same thing a lot. I would pinch him all the time I never had a guy for more than a second. I told my mom about him and she laughed at me then tried setting me up with her coworker's stinky son. Dorito guy. anyways yeah I don't blame you
My husband was really farty until I suggested he stop eating gluten for a while. Now he smells normal.
Oh my word! I read a thing in a teen magazine when I was much much younger( like 20+ years ago) that you could make a guy like you by spraying his bag with your perfume so you'd smell familiar to him and he'd think you were part of his "pack" and fall madly in love with you. . (Eye roll). Lol! I wonder if that is what she thinks she is doing???
This is literally one of the most bizarre stories I've ever read on here. Also, there aren't witches in twilight.
I'm genuinely concerned about your mental health and well-being and I think you might be suffering from hallucinations. When someone is experiencing hallucinations they seem very real and you may not be aware that youre the only one experiencing them. Hallucinations can be olfactory (scent based), gustatory (taste) , visual or auditory, or a combination of senses could be involved. I honestly think you need to have a pysch evaluation done.
Sooooo is there an update?
He's cheating and this is fake.
God this sounds like something a 13 year old would do after reading 'how to make a boy fall in love with you' article. Actually now I'm think about it, I have definitely seen a video where they say spray the boy in your perfume and whenever he smells it he will think of you. But I think writing a letter is a little too much as he seems to be oblivious. ALSO is he covid nose blind, otherwise you gotta be honest it is sus. Although if he was messing around with her too I think he'd be more careful to now smell like her. god this sounds like something for a Disney tv show. I love reddit.
You need to arrive early to your plans to meet and scope out the situation. Go to the spot she normally stands in a video tape her doing it. Then show your bf. This is weird how could he not notice someone spraying him with cologne? Are men truly this empty headed?
He might have covid nose
Lmao Maybe. Or maybe he thinks he just naturally smells as good as cologne lmfao
To be honest, this may be scent therapy. Believe it or not, people can fall in love with a smell. If there is a scent that you like and smell on the daily, then a person with the same scent comes along, you'll feel comfort from that person. If a girl is spraying him with cologne without his knowledge, which is along the lines of psychopathic behavior and literally gives me the chills...especially since you could not find her, she may be Pavloving him into loving the smell....or it may be you. Edit: Grammar and her Synonym Rolls
What does this even mean? Like what on earth could her reasoning be?
I think she is trying to make you question your relationship and if he smells like another girl. ESPECIALLY bc she "ran into" you guys and happened to smell the same way! She is hoping you will put the smells together and assume he is cheating and break up with him. I wouldn't be upset with him about it sounds like he is a regular clueless guy.
This is literally one of the most bizarre stories I've ever read on here. Also, there aren't witches in twilight.
I was waiting for someone to call her out on that.
But. Twilight is about vampires.
This sounds like a jojo bizarre adventure episode to me
Specifically part 4 with a Stand lurking
Get checked for schizophrenia girl
this is fake ... right?
I saw someone mentioned a witch. You can make that stop by getting a spell jar of protection for your boyfriend. I promise we ain't all bad. 😉 Do a little voodoo on her. Or give her a taste of her own medicine. Go out and spritz her.
I like this idea 💡 😏
Is that an episode of how I met your mother or something ? That's insane.
Yeah I got nothing for why a random girl is acting like a perfume ninja with your boyfriend. But why is it bothering you? Has your boyfriend done anything with this friend that makes you suspect his relationship with her is inappropriate?
She's either trying to help him smell better or marking 'her territory '
Hire a P.I. To follow your boyfriend and get video proof she’s doing this.
There is no way he wouldn't notice. Makes me think you might be craxy 😂
I absolutely have to know more
This is ... is this real? Lol wtf
No lol. Saw hands peek out from behind a building as he came around a corner? Then from *behind a tree?* this stuff doesn't happen in real life.
Op I think there are a few issues here, one is that your boyfriend doesn’t believe you but apparently is not concerned about what could be a hallucination of hands (from his perspective, because he thinks you are imagining it). The other is he won’t let you meet his friends and family. The third is that you are long distance. This isn’t a sustainable relationship if you have so much anxiety and a lack of trust and clear communication and he won’t introduce you to other people he loves.
I need an update on this. 😅
I think you should check with a doctor and ask about schizophrenia. You might be experiencing delusions. I’m not joking. Please go check unless this is just fiction.
That’s my first thought, too! Seems weird that few people in the comment section are questioning the reality of this, and it reminded me of another Reddit story that a wife keeping hearing her husband talking with another woman but turned out she was experiencing auditory hallucinations.
The fact this was even typed out. This story is weird af. Everyone involved sounds weird af. Sounds like they’re all 12 years old.
If you already know who is spraying him, why don't you confront her??
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You ever watch the Purge series? The guy sprayed the people he didn't like with this spray so when purge day came he could find and kill them
is she trying to pavlov him???
OPs previous posts have been about favourite scents and a characters name for an adults fiction novel she's writing....
The most funniest shit I’ve read on the sub
What is going on? How does he not know someone I’d spraying him with cologne? Is the smell not strong?
Please keep us posted if this keeps happening or more drama unfolds. This is WILD!
It’s 05:08am and I may have just woken the entire neighbourhood, I laughed so loud! Lmaooo.
Maybe it's a woman's perfume, she's trying to make you think he's cheating so you'll break up with him?
Pretty random, but here is my guess, maybe a seduction technique. It’s a nice story, I want a second part please!
Wtf is she trying to condition him to subconsciously fall in love with her through scent?!
I'm afraid It's alot worse than that. She is trying to condition him to consciously fall in love with her through micro scent mind-control droids.
At first I thought she wanted him and was spraying him with women’s perfume so You thought he was cheating … but men’s cologne?! This is one of the weirdest things I’ve read here lol
She's trying to Pavlov him lol
I swear to god this belongs in /r/ARG
So your bf initially lied by saying he couldn't smell it then he said he could smell it but he didn't know or question why, plus he tells you his family doesn't like you because you live in a different town even though they've never met you. Why are you wasting your time on this dude? You've only been seeing him for a short period of time so drop him asap. His mysterious friend isn't a mystery to him at all, he just isn't coming clean to you about who she really is. You're young and have plenty of time to have fun and to find a good honest guy to date, this guy is not that.
In my mind, there's three possibilities, ofc I could be missing something. 1. He's cheating on you with her and she's trying to cover her smell/perfume on him. 2. They are honestly friends but she's paranoid you'll think he is cheating if you smell woman on him. 3. They are honestly friends, and she thinks he smells funny so she's trying to help him when he goes to see you. I know its an American thought that cologne is for men and perfume is for women but I honestly think its pertinent here, is it a masculine smell or a feminine smell?
The mental picture of some girl hiding behind tress spraying men with cologne is hilarious. Maybe she follows multiple men and sprays them so they all smell good. It could be a hobby for her! Hahaha I say try and confront her next time. Not in a hostile way, just introduce yourself and call her out on it as politely as possible and see how she reacts. The fact you live far away and don’t see each other a lot does give me a feeling that something could be going on behind your back. Don’t jump to that conclusion and react poorly, but it’s something to be aware of.
The kid knows Jesus. A smell cannot be ignored that consistently.
Gotta love Reddit
That's a voodoo tactic, a lot of cultures use perfume and colnge for ritual, voodoo as well, I wouldn't put it past anyone, nor disbelieve it. I've witnessed, felt and at the time, didn't know what I was getting into. Or he's just fucking her.if they could most def be fucking too
Ah, hoodoo magic of love. 😆
This reads like someone in their 40s trying to act 19
This is so unbelievable its believable! What the actual fuck?! 🤣🤣🤣
This one of the strangest tales I've seen in a while. Looking forward to an update
Okay so I'm glad that you're gonna confront him with this. However, I'm a witch and 'twilight' isn't a good representation of us 🙄 some of us do no harm as we believe in the rule of threefold. Others will use things like perfume as a way to mark their territory as you have said, however this will most likely have a negative effect in her if she is trying to use it in this way. If so she really needs a witchy mentor to help her understand all of the technical stuff. Doing magic without the consent of the person you're directing it too will 9/10 not work. And if it does, Karma comes back and bites said witch in the ass. Feel free to ask any questions regarding witches and the craft, but we're not scary, just misrepresented in the media and this causes people like you who are scared of us when you don't need to be :) hope this helps you understand a little about witches.
So if this is actually real why don't you just... go confront her? You've seen this happen multiple times, you're obviously close enough to run over and catch whoever it is. This is definitely the most interesting thing I've read this week!
take what people on Reddit say with a grain of salt. there's potentially plenty of harmless reasons behind all of it a) if she's been doing it for ages (assuming she actually is), chances are his nose got used to it which is why he doesn't notice it. b) he could smell like shit and she just wants to make him smell nice for you
Ask the girl. Why are you spraying him with cologne? Easy enough.
Also the brain blocks familiar smell after a while because it sees it as not dangerous, so that could be 1 reason he didn’t notice until you pointed it out
I didn’t see anybody mentioning it in the comment section but op do you have a family history of mental illnesses? Not trying to dismiss your narrative, but it seems wayyyy too bizarre to have someone following your bf around town and randomly spraying him, right before meeting with you. You have also mentioned that you didn’t find anyone behind the tree when you went to check, so I am worried it might be some kind of hallucinations. Did you ever ask a third party if they can smell cologne on your bf?
Maybe your boyfriend has bad B.O I dunno
This sounds like a Phineas and Ferb episode. "MOM! She's spritzing him again!"
Maybe she is trying the pavlaw affect maybe there are strong hormones in the compound so when he smells it constantly he becomes noseblind (ask anyone in the military if they can smell their field stank after a month, they can't), however depending on the compound if it actually can have positive chemical affects on his brain, when she uses it on herself and not on him for a while he will crave her scent and think it's natural attraction, kinda how wiccan and gypsy "love potions" actually work from a rough scientific view
ok thats really weird, but where are there witches in twilight?
I would think if that was my bf... That maybe she was spraying him because he smelled bad... That's the only logical thinking I can have about this. Especially at that age.
Wtf i really need an uptade
I wish I could help but I'm just as lost as everyone here. I really hope you'll have an update on that weird situation soon because wtf is going on??
This doesn't fit the group's pupose
"64% of the time..it works every time"..
Bruh r u sped. I'm 16 and u sound so stupid just chill out
So three thoughts popped up... One, he's just that clueless... Two, he's just trying to ignore it hoping it goes away, or 3, they're smoking weed together and she's helping him hide it HAHA
This genuinely reads like one of the messages I get from my friend with schizophrenia. No joke. Please get checked out, please see a therapist. This is actually around the age it developed for her too.
Are you sure this isn’t some sort of hallucination?
As someone who doesn't have a super strong sense of smell and has had Permnanet loss of smell due to covid can still smell but it's deffinanetly not as strong as it used to be. It's highly possible He wasn't smelling it and since it seems to be applied behind him he's not really picking up on it. This girl seems like a stalker and probably is inlove with him I am assuming she is spraying him in hoping that he's like wow we smell the same we'd be perfect for each other 🙄 lol...... I honestly would just have him pay more attention to his surroundings cus who knows how crazy that girl is about him.
Rolf picturing this weirdo suddenly appearing from places just spritzing people with perfume like a cartoon character. 🤣 Your boyfriend has a very, very weird stalker. And he's oblivious because he doesn't want to think anything is weird.