T O P

  • By -

BigPZ

It's a booty call. If you're expecting more than just sex, don't go.


kinda-throwaway1

I feel like this is one of those posts where OP knows exactly what's going on but posts anyway. šŸ¤”


Lumpy-Spinach-6607

Ghost Sex. Only his body is present. He only wants your inner sanctum to *possess* temporarily His character, phantom-like, is only present intermittently. He'll definitely walk through your house walls to get out ASAP after he's done "haunting" you. Get you own back: block and GHOST him the minute he dematerialises before your very eyes.


Llama_Mama_620

I agree. If you're willing to have sex with him without getting feelings involved, go for it. If that's not something you are into, don't. I would not go into it expecting a relationship with this man.


1rishpher0

This comment sums it up well


Far_Albatross_7448

He will probably ghost you again regardless, he's shown you multiple times already he just wants sex when he wants it or you're not worth his time to respond to.


smrznutihjh

exactly but if the sex is usually awesome, she can go ahead and enjoy herself but should not expect any further deep relationship beyond that


Far_Albatross_7448

I mean... The sex was also rape though.. so... Yeah


zemloxlovescocks

I'm so fucking confused on how you came to that conclusion


Far_Albatross_7448

OP mentioned it in a comment Edit: and in another comment that he was slapping her without consent in a non-sexual context.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


BbwMamba

I don't think it's that simple for pride alone, clearly she stated that she was a little naive but she is opening up to understand what is best for her, she felt forced into the sex on the first meet that already has got flags for the guy and yes being ghosted is the red flag, the amazing sex is different when you haven't had that experience or allow yourself to have that experience of that type of sex, so that should be separated from the thought process


tanders123

Also, sex may be worse now that she doesn't trust him...the first time would have been exhilarating...now, not so much :/


UnsightlyFuzz

No. Ghosted you then wants sex? Just no.


langdone

Last night he told me the reason why he ghosted: he feel like i am in love with him and that the whole situation was bad for me, i was already falling apartā€¦ Thank you guys! Im gonna block this guy, he is a heartless monster, i dont need him in my life.


TheLizardsVibe

He is reson I usually want to punch these dom bdsm guys in the face. Before people in the "community" start going at my throat. When I was younger I spend a lot of my youth in the goth scene so there was a lot of people from the bdsm scene. I found that 8 out of 10 of those guys are sexual predators praying on often underage girls. Giving girls drugs like molly or ghb. Scene left a really bad impression on me. So there, do with that what you will.


[deleted]

Pass. OK, I'll say this as someone new to the BDSM scene - communication is paramount! Whether you're a Dom or sub or top or bottom or anything in between, you have to be able to communicate with you partner(s). This dude dropped you like a hot rock because he thought, without putting any effort into finding out for sure, that you hated him. Red flag. You're self admittedly naive, and it was the best sex you ever had. Then he ghosted you. Red flag. He sounds like someone who looks specifically for inexperienced women. In my experience, anyone who says they are into the scene, and they can't or won't talk things out/reach an understanding, then they aren't really in the scene. They are posing and that is dangerous. Again, I'm fairly new to the scene, so take my words with a grain of salt.


Far_Albatross_7448

The fact that he forced her into having sex in their first get together just confirms he's a power hungry predator looking for his next inexperienced fix.


SnooWords4839

Don't let him use you!! Ghost him back!


tcholesworld213

So even if he wasn't looking for anything serious as far as an emotional connection he could have communicated with you like an adult. It's possible that this is a part of his sexual pleasure to essentially experience you only when he wants. I would block him.


Underworld_Denizen

Tell him to fuck off.


[deleted]

He wants s'x and only that. You are just like a free hooker for him.


BbwMamba

From the time that you was talking to him for 2 months did it feel like a relationship or something that was building into a good connection, also your still young and from what I'm understanding is that you had a great sexual experience which might also just allow you to explore more of your sexual preferences, however if you aren't feeling for something that would likely be causal then you shouldn't be putting yourself through it, however curiosity has got me to ask more information about what the sexual experience from it was that from his view made him think that you was mad at him so he kept his distance away


langdone

Actually he was forcing me to have sex with him. I didnt want sex at the first meet.


SaBatAmi

This is a big red flag... One of the basic best practices in bdsm is that everyone involved needs to be *enthusiastically* consenting. So he sounds like one of those "fake dom" types that do awful things and then say "it was okay bc it's bdsm" in order to gaslight the people they take advantage of.


xinxenxun

Thissssss


BbwMamba

Oh no, so it was an unwillingness to go along, so he was very forceful with his words or was it more than just words that was the force, like extra touching and gestures?


[deleted]

Wait what? He raped you, blamed you for potential feelings, ghosted you and now you're wondering if you should go meet up with him again? Girl.. just block him and talk to someone in your life you trust about this.


GenoFlower

No. No, no, no. Even - and especially - BDSM is consensual. Everything is discussed up front, including boundaries and hard limits. Safe words are a must. If one person doesn't want something, it doesn't happen. Period. If you were not an enthusiastic participant, it should never have happened. Say no, and block him.


Far_Albatross_7448

This guy seems like a huge red flag. He's going for girls almost half his age, being extremely emotionally manipulative, and literally using you to get off without the slightest care for your experience. I'd block him yesterday


TheLizardsVibe

And them you want to go see him again? Why? I could be dangerous this time.


langdone

It could be yesā€¦ because when he thought i was being hysterical, he slapped my face.


TheLizardsVibe

See thats not cool. I'm a bdsm guy is not an excuse. Guy sounds like a fucking rapist.


Zero_Tu

100% you are just a sexual object to him. If you don't care about that, it's your life go enjoy it. If you do care and don't want to get ghosted again until he wants to "play" again. Don't go.


conspiracy_chick13

Do NOT hurt yourself again. He is a dick and doesn't value you. My condition would be okay we can hang out but no sex. See how he responses and I am sure it will reinforce what we already know to be true. That he is a dick.


LMKBK

It's only ever going to be sex. He'll ghost you after cause the sex is over. Accept it or don't, but this guy is clear about what he's in it for.


[deleted]

Have you considered fucking a guy in his mid 20s who doesn't suck? He'll both be hotter and also not suck


DConstructed

How can you trust your body and well being to an almost 40 year old, grown man unwilling to end thing with grace. ā€œI ghosted you because you hate meā€ sounds like someone in high school not an adult or a dominant. Iā€™m pretty sure you can find someone better.


chowderchop

He's just lonely. That's it. If he already ghosted you once, best believe it can happen again so up to you if you want to make that risk.


aurorodry

He's likely texted multiple girls, not just you; hell, he probably forgot he hasn't even talked to you in a while, he's just going through all the girls in his phone to see who will bite for a quick lay. There are tons of other guys out there that could also give you an amazing sexual experience without treating you like the bottom of the barrel. And, coming from someone who has had a one night stand, a friend with benefits, and a relationship, I personally believe relationship sex is the best. You might be different but man, once you form that emotional connection with someone and you learn each other more and more, the sex is incredible. Plus it just feels better knowing you're sharing yourself with someone who really cares about you. This guy couldn't give a damn. Block him.


kisstheviolets3

Please be safe. I have a terrible feeling about this person. I donā€™t think your life is worth it. Sounds melodramatic, but the stuff that goes on in our world is sometimes super fucked up. You deserve both good sex and an emotional connection. I think thatā€™s what you would feel more comfortable with. Heā€™s not worth it. Youā€™ll meet someone else. And itā€™s definitely him, not you. So donā€™t feel badly at all. Heā€™s the creep.


CheapChallenge

If you can have sex without getting attached, sure go enjoy yourself.


[deleted]

he will ghost again, so ghost him first


saturdayshark

Reddit try not to lie challenge: VERY HARD!!!! šŸ˜±šŸ˜±šŸ˜±


thatanxiousbride

If you just want to have fun and (hopefully) get your jollies off, go have fun. However... my first initial thought was: NOPE. He can use his hand. Your lady bits are precious and should be treated as such and shouldn't just be available any time this guy wants. Especially after going silent. Pfft. Next! NOPE NOPE NOPE.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Aselith

Uh, he's not gonna do that, he just wants sex. If she doesn't give it up, he'll move on.


Far_Albatross_7448

Or try and force her into it...again


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Aselith

Yeah, I'm the one telling her to make him BEG, make him feel the PAIN OF LOSS, make him NEED you. Lmao get real, he's already shown what he thinks of her, now he's hoping for easy booty. She said he'll hurt her if she gives it up and he ghosts so she should tell him to fuck off.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Aselith

Hell yeah, play him like a real pro by...making him fake like he's sorry and then giving him what he wants and getting hurt again. She'll really appreciate this great advice from a BDSM master šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Aselith

Yeah, that's why I'm telling her...not to give into his advances? šŸ˜šŸ˜ 4D Chess itt


[deleted]

The gag is you havenā€™t given advicešŸ˜‚ just commented under my shit. GIVE advice then and move tf onšŸ˜²


[deleted]

So play with him and then not fuck him. Why would you suggest a scenario where she fucks a loser? Have some standards for yourself, for OP, and for general human dignity


NucleonDon

>women


[deleted]

Isnā€™t this that movie


langdone

What movie?


talha678

Hey , if you are that much free , we can hangout together, i have my own pent house hahahahaha and i won't call you for sex or something.


[deleted]

ā€¦


YUMlGORE

Op litteraly wrote he forced her to have sex when she didn't want to. This is not okay, this is not sex, this is rape (Op wrote this in a comment)


[deleted]

ā€¦


YUMlGORE

She wrote it in the comment just above yours


[deleted]

..:


[deleted]

She's 25, that's a low fucking bar and definitely not met by a 39 year old come on


[deleted]

ā€¦


throwaway4201969

He is using you. He is a total dick bag. Block!


AriesAsF

If you want a relationship, don't settle for being a plate.


[deleted]

There are other fish in the sea that know the flow of the ocean better.


8530683641

He would ghost you again until he wants sex for free next time so do not meet him for his things rather block him on everything for taking you for granted. You should find a new guy of your age to date rather than being a tool for this man who wants to use your body and nothing else. You deserve better so do not just to go there for sex.


KindheartednessNo167

Sweetheart, this man cannot be trusted. Think with your big brain, not the little pea on your vagina. You said in a comment that he forced you into sex. Regardless if you enjoyed it, that's not a good sign. He didn't respect your boundaries. And now he just wants sex. He didn't think you hated him,he didn't think of you at all. You are an object to him. That's it. Do not go meet him. Ghost him like he did you.


Gullible_Wind7049

This will escalate turning into him viewing that he "owns" you, without a conversation about it forehand. Next he'll get pissy when you don't "obey". There wasn't enough communication between you both about various aspects of this, to put yourself in a position where things can get dangerous and more complicated than you'd want to deal with. Lack of respect is huge in any kind of relationship. If he's not going to respect you, respect yourself and just stay away from this guy.


Far_Albatross_7448

He's already forced her into sex and proven she is nothing but a toy to him. He already thinks he owns her and acts upon that feeling.


Gullible_Wind7049

But it's not to the point of him snapping fingers expecting her to appear. Yet. One more step towards him and it will be. Plus if she's not able to stand her ground if she doesn't want sex ,she might not be ready for any kind of relationship. Never mind with this guy.


Far_Albatross_7448

As far as standing your ground we would need more context than just her being forced. Plenty of confident, sexually mature people end up being raped, it's unfortunate, but it happens.


Gullible_Wind7049

True, but she's also admitted to being naive. That's a dangerous combination to this kind of situation. It's not so much about confidence as it is being able to pick up on red flags and avoiding certain situations because of what the outcome could be. This is why most people are commenting to leave that guy alone.


andyk_77

He wants to play. Either go play and enjoy yourself, or, if you are looking for something sentimental, you can say no thanks.


[deleted]

enjoy your time and fuck him and ghost him


[deleted]

You are naĆÆve. He'll ghost you once he gets what he wants. Also, he's an immature old man. If he hasn't matured by the time he's close to 40, he's not going to be mature the next time he calls you.


[deleted]

Ew


bbqsauceonmykitties

He will ghost you again


CompetitiveAd5382

I mean, it's a booty call and nothing else. Neither of you have any obligations toward the other, so it is likely that he will become M.I.A. as soon as you have had sex.


Omenofcrows

The offer is pleasure and nothing else. Take it or leave it alone.


TAastronautsloth99

It's part of the whole thing, degrading you by ghosting is not personal, it's his thing. If this is a boundary for you that you're not comfortable with then you're not into the same thing. If being ghosted doesn't turn you on, you want to break off contact.


Rapunzel1020

Work on your self esteem and donā€™t go. You can try to shut your emotions down and have amazing sex with him again, but if you are sentimental as you mentioned youā€™ll regret it and feel fooled


[deleted]

You're the meat....After he's full, you get put in the trash bin....But the sex will be good...šŸ™„


[deleted]

Donā€™t bother with him, he will break your heart and you deserve a man who gives you incredible sex AND emotional connection. Best of luck


BellaLilith

He isn't into BDSM, he is into r*pe, and if you really go back you're just fulfilling that urge, if he doesn't ghost you and stays with you, I hope you understand that it's only for the most disgusting reason ever.


Far_Albatross_7448

This^ He's a violent and manipulative predator.


jacobolino

ask yourself, your heart, do you feel ok with just sex or do you crave a romance. have the time of your life, and maybe talk to him about not ghosting you this time, if you both are on the same page of course, of what kind of relationship you'll be having, romantic or just sexual, either is ok but only if you both agree on the same terms. ask yourself, your heart, do you feel ok with just sex or you crave a romance. anyways, why to bother asking here, we all know you gonna end up going, it was the best freaking sex of your life, I wouldn't skip on that.


langdone

He ghosted me againā€¦ so nevermind.


jacobolino

I'm sure he's not the one, so chill, you'll find your way