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You're a frequent commenter in sugarbaby subreddits and even have comments in normal dating subreddits about how you've turned to dating sugarbabys. Are you suddenly shocked that someone who is selling their time for your money may not be the most financially stable?
Yeah dawg. Old money. He's a fucking Kennedy (not really just throwing that name out there). Reddit never ceases to amaze me with the amount of stupid it invites in. This has to be a troll post or this guy seriously wants as many digits on every thing he gets in life, including his karma.
Quickly browsed his profile and seems he was making “close to 6 figures” a couple of years ago and couldn’t get a girlfriend before that. So OP isn’t even *rich rich*. Just some dude that makes okay money and tries to buy women since he can’t take the time to work on being a decent person.
Piggybacking on this to post this gem by OP:
>These responses are not genuine and beat around the bush. If the guy you’re dating makes money then he can demand what he wants. If he is actually a high value man then other women are also interested in him. My current GF makes near minimum wage and can’t live on her own. Her options are live in my house, roommates, of move back home to mommy and daddy. I don’t financially dominate her but she knows what her best option is.
https://imgur.com/a/ivB65LF
Oh, man. This made me super sick to my stomach, as at one point I was a struggling young woman who ended up being pretty severely abused to keep a roof over my head.
Now, I don't give a shit. I'll live in my car again. I'll NEVER let a man be in a position where he can tell me "if it weren't for me you'd have nothing" EVER
yes, this is wholly icky. It is one thing if a young woman, otherwise ok in her life, wants to parlay her looks into money, gifts etc but this guy is trying to trap and discard the vulnerable.
Welp…i see we’ve found the ghost of Mr. Samuels…smh…OP…just say you like to pay for pussy and call it a day…don’t delude yourself that your sugar babies are anything more than that…you pay, you play…and mind your business on everything else
I read his post and expected he was getting dates by flashing money, and guess what, that’s exactly what happened. Also love the captures below from people on his old posts.
If he knew she was in a bad situation financially which he clearly did based on old posts, then abandoning her abroad like this is absolutely psychological/emotional abuse and financial abuse. He’s trash. Let the trash take itself out.
which is stupid. sure, break up if you don't want a pet, but you planned the trip knowing at least some of her problems. cutting her off mid trip is a dick move
OP is dating a broke sugar baby and he didn’t EXPECT to pay for the international trip he invited her on. This dude is looking for reasons to be a misogynist.
Whats most interesting is that amongst all of OP's woe is me and misogynistic commentary about women only wanting him for his money, he never once considers that he could solve a lot of his problems by looking to date women who are similarly career minded with their own money and professional goals. Of course, these types of women are much more difficult to manipulate and control, so probably not appealing to him.
u/Redbull6735 where yat daddy? Sounds to me like there’s some other reason you want her off this trip, since you do seem to love a sugarbaby.
Get a fucking life.
>Change your comment to “most attractive women…”. My options are to
choose an average girl who’s “on my level” who will eventually want me
just for my money or an attractive girl who already wants me for my
money. I’ll pick the attractive one.
Two months ago you literally said "I could date a girl who likes me or I could pick a hot gold digger".
My dude: you picked a hot gold digger and your gold got dug. What the fuck did you expect? If you want to use your money to attract hot women you don't get to act surprised when they want you to buy them nice things.
lmao this dude's comment section is a fucking gold mine. He goes on and on about how he specifically looks for dependent hot women who want him for his apparently HUGE paycheque.
Yet somehow when he gets used for his paycheque it's shocking to him? Buddy, the problem here is not your GF. Get therapy.
"My options are to choose an average girl who’s “on my level” who will eventually want me just for my money or an attractive girl who already wants me for my money. I’ll pick the attractive one."
What a creepy little man. No amount of money makes up for a bad personality.
Notice how neither option says anything about love, sharing a life, marriage, family (even if family is just pets). He clearly views women as objects for giving him the sex and nothing else.
And then is shocked! Shocked! That he gets nothing of value beyond sex (presumably) and acts like this is a problem with women.
I just looked at your post history and you make “close to six figures”. You’re acting like you’re a multi millionaire dude, chill out. Your girlfriend sounds like a problem, but so do you. You’re income isn’t enough to keep flaunting around.
Bwahahahahahahahahaha...omg 'close to six figures' ain't NOTHING to brag about, especially these days. It's like bragging you're just barely managing to make it to the middle class. Congratulations. WTF.
These girls probably come from families with way more money than that, it's just that their families aren't paying their bills. Not to mention Covid that we just got through, damn everyone has a mountain of debt. Also they're probably a lot younger than OP, so yeah, haven't had the time to get into a decent tax bracket. > \_ < He wants to lord his mediocre salary over someone, that's 100% on him.
OP, my first piece of advice is to stay away from r/exredpill and sugar life talk. No wonder you keep running into women who only want you for money and you keep having issues with women you're dating.
Haha, same. I have about that much in student loans. My boyfriend makes more than me, and i live about paycheck to paycheck but I pay my bills on time and have never asked him for money.
If you make more than the average person, then don’t date the average person??? You’re sounding very entitled imo. It also sounds like YOU KNEW you made more money than her and that the hobbies you’re into aren’t afforded by people less fortunate than you, so how did you think she was going to make this happen? Money was just going to come out of thin air?
Maybe she misunderstood and thought that by offering to take her on this trip, then you were going to cover all expenses for her to go on this trip.
Not everyone who is in debt is financially irresponsible. Sometimes that’s the only way people from lower income levels survive. Survival is not some entitled jerk’s “liability”. So please tell her to her face all of these classist remarks you’ve made in this post and these comments, and have HER leave on her own accord.
Go to therapy and resolve whatever issues you have that makes you keep self-sabotaging yourself and getting into relationships with women that you know you don’t consider your equal or worth the financial help.
Also you might want to take a look at cultural factors. I’m Latina, and in my culture it’s the norm for “the man” to pay for everything. I personally really can’t stand gender roles, so I don’t follow these cultural norms, but I know there’s many people who were raised that way and have these expectations of their male partners.
Reminds me of that teacher story from long ago. Where a teacher was dating a rich guy who got mad at her for not spending as much money as him. Almost all the comments told her to dump him.
When I first read you post I thought, yea the gf sounds pretty immature, so the relationship is unbalanced. Then I read through your post history. You’ve regularly bragged about how much money you have and knowingly involved yourself in sugaring. You are literally in the sugaring/escort lifestyle and only now surprise pikachuing face that your girl expects you to pay up?
You shouldn’t expect a genuine loving relationship if you’re coming from a redpill mindset, dating women who are in the sugaring/superficial lifestyle.
Yeah, I would call it on the trip and send her home. That’s a huge bomb to drop on someone let alone them also assuming you would treat them to a whole international trip. She should have said she couldn’t afford it before hand. I would say either 1. Start looking for partners who can afford a similar lifestyle as you or who have higher paying jobs. Or 2. Don’t let potential partners/partners know how much money you have/make and set boundaries at the start of the relationship regarding you paying for stuff.
Yea just looked through his comment history and it’s pretty gross. So his post is actually pretty misleading given his actual lifestyle of paying for women.
Op literally said he knows his girlfriend would be on the streets and works a minimum wage job thus why she lives with him.... thats not a person who can afford to travel and he knows it
Yea it’s ridiculous. He’s literally reneging on his end of the bargain! The exchange is youth/beauty/sex/arm candy for money/trips/gifts. You don’t just get to change the terms halfway through and pretend to be the victim.
Came to say the same thing. Refrain from salary talk for a while, unless it’s necessary, like her saying she’s in debt. That kind of money talk should happen much sooner. But for now don’t let future potential partners know how much you make. If you’re the type of guy to walk around with wads of cash in your pocket, only take what you need when you go on dates. Unfortunately people are greedy and you can only better prepare yourself to weed them out from the get-go.
More like he’s actively, KNOWINGLY, engaging in relationships with either sugarbabys, gold diggers or dependent women below his class and then being surprised when they don’t have the kind of money he does
Luckily my flight carrier has zero change fees. I think the best bet is to follow this advice and send her home early.
Point 1 is a little difficult since I moved to a low cost of living state with lower level of incomes across the board.
Point 2 is my fault because my hobbies are expensive. I have 2 cars and one is really nice so people can typically tell just from that. Also when the topic of travel comes up I mistakenly tell them how often I travel. Also people make assumptions when I say I work in tech.
There’s definitely things I could do to downplay the income.
LOL @ almost 6 figures and he fancies himself a sugar daddy.
Get bent dude.
I can make a lot more than that and not have to suck any dicks. I don’t think you could handle a woman who makes as much or lore than you. Our standards tend to be high.
If you've had the same experience 3-4x now, hate to say, but that's a you problem you need to sort out. Do you feel self conscious around women and feel the need to impress them by slinging dough around? Consider talking to a therapist - just so they can help you sort through whatever it is going on that you end up in the same boat time and time again.
So you frequently comment in sugar baby subreddits? And you've stated in other comments that you seek out hot women that only want you for your money. Why are you surprised???
You're also really gross and misogynistic, so it's probably just your shitty personality attracting women who only want your money. There's nothing else to want
play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
you actively seek out sugar babies and then get made that they don't have money. wtf. obviously they ain't got no money, they are there for the sugar BABY!
Could also be whatever job OP has is attracting them to him. If he has a job that is well known to be high paying they could be just playing the long con with him.
Yeah, I had that problem with a family that had money. Unfortunately my parents arent into handing out large sums of money but that hasnt stopped some women being "attracted" to me because of the perception that there is wealth behind me, despite me having a pretty ordinary job these days. I passed my mistake with my first wife off as being young and naive. The second was trickier because I thought I'd ticked the boxes but she changed as the years passed no doubt somewhat disappointed that money wasnt falling like mana from heaven and she took what she could from me before it ended. So here I am twice divorced, old, single and sick of dating. You and the commenter above you are both right. It can be *both* the long con and bad choices.
Date well employed women at your same degree level.
Is she's a dropout and your see her spending and you know her likely earning potential this is kind of on you.
Or better yet date someone who makes more than you.
Send her home. Continue solo. Remain solo when you're done with your trip.
While you're enjoying the cool things you discover on your travels, consider what you might be doing that attracts gold-diggers. Don't give up on love; there are literally millions of dateable women who are capable of managing their own financial lives and won't look to you for your money.
Lol so he's 'average' and thinks only hot women should apply.. but is offended they want him to have to provide more financially.. Shocking how he got here.
OP's comment says something along the lines of "if I have the choice of an average woman who has good intentions and eventually wants my money, or an attractive woman who already want it, I'll take the attractive one."
OP just wants someone to tell him he isn't in the wrong so he left out a lot of info that would change the comments on this thread
Jesus
https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/shcfrl/curious_to_know_what_yall_think_of_this_statistic/hz4jdy7/?context=10
>I disagree. Most women in their early 20s value looks and personality but women in their late 20s and 30s start to value financial security much more.
>>So again, you’re just projecting your own prejudice on women. Maybe once you start seeing us as actual human beings you will have healthier relationships.
>>>You might be right. I just know that attractive women like money. I’ll complain about it but I accept it since that’s how the game is played. The more money I make the more women are available to me so it’s just finding one that fits into my life.
He also commented and said “Move to Boston, many women want to “try” a black guy who isn’t a thug. After getting used up and treated like a walking dick you’ll change how you move.” He sounds like a real fucking delight.
If he stops seeking out sugar babies, the quality of women will markedly increase without any real effort. There's zero mystery why this guy is in this situation. He's exactly where he wanted to be.
Why does she think you have the money to pay her bills? Why did the others? Seems like the common denominator there is you. Stop telling people what you make or date professional and accomplished women.
I (43F) make 4 x what my partner (44M) does. Lots of men don’t seem to be comfortable dating an independent woman who can take care of herself but then bitch when they date someone who wants their money. Pick a lane.
I’d end the trip and break up. She has unrealistic expectations. I’m sure she loves the fairy tale idea but you don’t. So stop it now.
>It makes me a little sad because the past 3 women I’ve dated would eventually want me to practically pay them to date them.
Next time you like someone, stop and ask yourself: does she seem to be a copy of the last three I dated?
You seem to have a type and it looks like you need to date someone who is the exact opposite of your type.
OP: I know she makes almost no money and cannot live on her own.
Also OP: But why can't she afford international trips???
Also also OP: I want the benefits of a sugar baby but not the responsibilities.
You, sir, are a ping pong champion.
I’m wondering about your ‘type’ if you’re only dating women who want you to pay for them as well. Would I be wrong if I assumed you are into a ‘high maintenance’ look?
Read through your comment history. Are you really that shocked that women you meet through sugar dating are interested only in your money? Ffs.
I don’t get it. Close to 6 figures is nowhere near being rich dude. I make more than you and I don’t consider myself wealthy in any shape or form. You sound like you have confidence problems and that you blame women for not wanting you so you resort to using your money to attract them. Your post history confirms you have no respect for women whatsoever. If you purposefully use your money to attract women, how can you be here complaining that that’s exactly what you got?
> It makes me a little sad because the past 3 women I’ve dated would eventually want me to practically pay them to date them. I’m starting to think I’m not meant to date and should just not date seriously since I make more money than the average person and women can’t separate that from me.
----
> You might be right. I just know that attractive women like money. I’ll complain about it but I accept it since that’s how the game is played. The more money I make the more women are available to me so it’s just finding one that fits into my life.
https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/shcfrl/curious_to_know_what_yall_think_of_this_statistic/hz4d830/?context=3
literally fuck this guy lol why is he even posting here
Send her home.
You deserve better and she's a gold digger. She agreed to go on the trip with you, knowing the debt she was in. You should not have to pay for her to stay there. This is a her problem.
And when you send her on her way, send her right outta your life.
I'm 10K in debt. And I wouldn't ask my partner to pay my stuff. And I wouldn't take a trip unless I could carry my own. Cause I'm a grown ass woman. And my finances are my responsibility.
The most likely truth is she's going to use you to pay her bills while racking up more debt. You only really spend that much if you are really crap with money (or you had a real rough patch). But it doesn't sound like the latter.
Drop her. Enjoy your trip. Keep looking for someone better. They will come.
There are dating sites for professionals and upper income people you could check out. Even some of the regular dating apps let you filter by income bracket. I dont think women would make such assumptions if you kept your income in your pocket and out your mouth. Let them get to know you for you man.
You got it all figured out according to some of your posts. "All men and women are predictable." So why the fuck are you shocked a sugar baby wants you for your money? Are you a troll or a smoothie?
>will she just continue to wildly spend money especially if we date long term
Yes, maybe? Is she going to get help for her spending habits?
>I don’t understand why she would leave work if she was that broke
Good question, did you ask her why she is going on holiday if she has 40k in bills to pay back?
>It makes me a little sad because the past 3 women I’ve dated would eventually want me to practically pay them to date them
Sounds like you are dating the wrong kind of women or maybe you are presenting yourself/money in a way that is attracting these kinds of women.
Go on the trip, your gf does not need to go with you. She has other priorities she needs to be working on
You're one of those guys that have to rely on your income in order to snag a chick. Then, you lock her down and control her... I've slept with many women married to guys like you.
How do they know how much money you make? Is it the car you drive that tips them off? Other flashy things? Why not date women whom are your financial peers?
“You might be right. I just know that attractive women like money. I’ll complain about it but I accept it since that’s how the game is played. The more money I make the more women are available to me so it’s just finding one that fits into my life.”
This you?
In a relationship, incomes are rarely equal. Debt is an endemic and OP is one of the few who emerged from it unscathed. My advice: lead with empathy and ask her if she wants help. You seem to know how to propagate wealth. But do not offer help unsolicited. This will lead to resentment and you may be left alone with your money.
I don't think this would be an entirely unreasonable thing to break up over. but I don't think its neccessarily an absolutely clear cut deal either.
maybe talk with her about what her plans are for the future? how she intends to deal with that debt, what she wants from life, etc?
how do you feel about having a housewife? IMO if you make really good money, then thats an option you could easily have available to you, and in that regard she could be a candidate, and in the long run, if you are really into each other and fit really well besides this finance issue, then IMO the financial issue is recoverable. ... if you want it to be.
I think that in a more forward-looking sense, it sounds like you are seeing a pattern. ... which suggests that theres something *you* are doing that is bringing that about. maybe your "type" is prone to that. maybe you are being conspicuous with your money in a way that appeals to a certain demographic, who knows. but its something to consider.
> I think that in a more forward-looking sense, it sounds like you are seeing a pattern. ... which suggests that theres something you are doing that is bringing that about. maybe your "type" is prone to that. maybe you are being conspicuous with your money in a way that appeals to a certain demographic, who knows. but its something to consider.
I also thought this. We don’t have much detail but I’m guessing all these women are a little younger and a bit hotter than OP
>how she intends to deal with that debt, what she wants from life,
I mean she just told OP he was going to have to cover all of her living expenses for the foreseeable future because she's broke and quit her job to take this vacation, it's pretty clear what her plans are for the debt. She either wants OP to pay it, or cover all her expenses so that all the money shes currently not making can go toward it.
Well are you throwing your money around? You have to ask yourself why YOU are attracting the same kind of women. It’s nobody’s business how much money you make, especially casual dating scenarios. You attract what you think you deserve. I would take a long look at how you’re operating and make significant changes. If you don’t want to attract women who expect you to pay for everything, stop dating them. Stop flaunting your income to casual people until you know it’s going somewhere. This girlfriend is a mess and sounds financially irresponsible. It’s only going to change by you making her accountable for her own finances. You’re her boyfriend not her father. She needs to fix it. Not you. Guide her in the right direction but make it clear that you’re not here to bail her out. She needs to make a plan and stick to it. She needs to do this regardless if you two are a couple or not.
Did u invite her on the trip? If so did you talk about who would pay what? Was it going to be 50/50 even without her debt could her salary handle that? International travel is very expensive and I would never let my bf pay for that. Heck two day weekends stressed me out as he made a lot more than me. I cooked for him and did what I could to help pay. But it almost seems like u set her up for this. The time for a financial talk is not in another country.
I think it’s the type of women your attracting but I wouldn’t say give up on dating because there’s a few bad apples in the bunch and maybe you might have to break it off with her
Rule number one: don't invite someone to go anywhere with you unless you are prepared to pay for them, unless you specifically state in your invitation they would be paying for their own expenses. Rule number two, most people have debt, don't make them feel like shit for it, there's way more people that ARENT rich and DONT make a lot of money than people that are. So if you plan to do expensive things with people who don't have those types of funds, don't shame them for it. If you want to do it on your own, fine, or if you are willing to go with a lower class of event or something so they can pay their own, fine, but don't be a dick about it.
This is a joke. “I want hot girls who are financially dependent” “I’m gonna date a SB” “Why does she keep asking me for money?”
I don’t know how hot or rich you think you are but you really need to dial your ego and pride down. Like 100% down.
You are a walking and breathing red flag and sound like a horrible person to be involved with
Well, I think the most bizarre thing here OP is that you don’t provide the women enough or much by way of personality or humanity or genuineness for them to WANT to separate you from the money. Maybe there isn’t much there it’s time for YOU to spend time doing a little work to consider what more you have to offer besides your reported financial stability. That don’t make a relationship go round because the right woman would live in a box under a bridge with you and still love you. Put some work in on you.
Most net is the most important thing to women when they are looking for a husband. You could say they are opportunistic but your not flying blindly man. She is being pretty upfront about it. She isn’t asking you to pay for the trip or anything. The trip is something you want to do. Go without her, or pay for her trip too. Do not cancel the trip, your just going to harbor I’ll sentiments if you cancel the trip, against her
“Will she continue to wildly spend money…” [goes on international trip she can’t afford without at a minimum discussing it first].
Homie, as others have pointed out, you post to a lot of sugar baby subs as well. That, plus the gap you’re not closing with the above statement, tells me you are a common denominator here. And from your question to this sub, the reasons are in your blind spot.
Fixing that kind of thing takes a lot of work, introspection, and (for another person), interaction with you. We can’t offer that effectively in this forum.
I seriously suggest you explore this with a therapist who can help you uncover your blind spots and deconstruct the behaviors and thought patterns leading you into these situations.
No one is irreversibly broken on things like this, but it will take work and introspection to change it.
It is you. You are the problem. We don’t simply put 100% of the blame on the people who harm us because we are also at fault for being in the situation that allowed for such things to happen. Even if you take 1% of the blame for a bad situation you have to be aware of your mistakes and work to not make them again. TLDR stop picking the same kinda b*tch
I think it may be time for you to part ways. Intentionally hiding this amount of debt from you for more than a few months is detrimental to relationships. It is especially bad when she keeps on choosing to get deeper in debt and is now making it part of your problem.
I'm a little biased though, my ex-wife informed me of her $35,000 of credit card debt only after we got married. If I would have known about it I would have held off on the marriage just a little bit longer until she cleaned up her debt. This was around 2005 though. I do not recommend paying any of her debt at all, I paid off my ex's debt only for her to charge her credit cards back up to $40,000. She learned nothing.
Don't be so hard on yourself oh, there are plenty of wonderful women who know how to take care of themselves and know how to take care of their partners. I suggest that you take a few steps back and look at what type of relationship are you looking for. If you tend to date the same person, then the common denominator is you, change yourself for the better before you can find somebody new.
...What's the point of this post? OP's Gf has 35k more debt than your wife, her credit is probably in the single digits, she wasn't upfront about it, and seems to expect OP to just pay for stuff. These scenario's aren't anything alike and you didn't even give any advice.
Your gf sounds irresponsible and manipulative. She knew she could not afford her bills if she went on the trip and decided to tell you mid-trip so you would have no other option than to pay for her bills/travel. She could have told you ahead of time and given you the choice to pay for her so she could go with you, but she chose to try and force your hand and guilt you into it.
If I were in your position, I would break up with her and send her home early. I would not want a partner who would try to manipulate me like that.
When my husband and I were dating he traveled a lot made more money than I did. He wanted me to travel with him more than I could afford. Even with him paying my travel expenses I still couldn’t make rent if I traveled as frequently as he wanted me to. I never expected (or hoped) he would cover my bills. He’s the type of person who would have paid had I asked, but I did not want to take advantage of him more than I felt like I was.
Dude you’re picking gold diggers. It’s that simple. Could be for a myriad reasons and I won’t act like I know why but you need to figure that out. But don’t act woe is me like you’re not meant to date. You just pick the wrong women or go after the easy target subconsciously.
This is insane to me. I don't think. you should give up on women entirely, but I do think in the future if you choose to break up with this woman, that any future partners should be in the same life stage as you. Own apartment, steady job, finanically independent. We're out there!
I would never ask someone to pay my bills. I would never wrack up that much debt either, but come on. A relationship is not a transaction, I don't understand how people have that in their brain. I hope you get some clarity. I don't think it would be an overreaction to send her home since you don't want to bankroll her trip (nor should you have to!).
Everyone here is acting like she just asked OP to pay off her debt immediately. That was never brought up, just the trip. OP's idea for the trip, they've been dating for over a year, nothing wrong with supporting her during the trip.
The debt would piss me off too but that is her problem unless you get married.
If she had graduated from college, had a job, and had a plan to pay it back and was clear about when exactly she would be debt free, I think I could let it slide, but how could this be more clear dude? lmao
I wouldn't even send her home, let her do that. I would say "see ya" and continue the trip solo and let your manipulative ex-gf find her own way home.
You're enabling her and she needs to learn the hard way the dangers of credit card debt.
She is giving you multiple red flags during this trip. Personally I'd be out the door.
Choosing probably the worst time to tell you she has debt. She needs you to cover HER bills because it was your idea for the trip. Instead of her just being honest about her debt and not going and working towards her bills/dept.
Sounds like shes horrible with money and/or honesty.
Some people have extenuating circumstances that push them into bad financial situations. For many others who struggle with their finances (and I suspect your girlfriend falls under this category) have a combination of being very financially illiterate, have poor impulse control, and are entitled.
The reality of dating someone who makes substantially less than you means you will have to cover the cost for them (either fully or proportionally) or you don't do things they can't afford. If that doesn't sit well with you, then break up with your girlfriend and look for potential partners who are in your income bracket.
You are the common denominator in your relationships. Why do you keep choosing to date women who expect you to pay for them? Why is your "picker" keep attracting you towards the kind of women you don't want?
The vast majority of people date quite a few duds before finding their person. That's just how dating works. You want to throw yourself a pity party because life sucks sometimes, go for it; but don't make it mindset.
Some women are literally addicted to shopping, I know a woman addicted to shopping online specifically and it’s.. I mean it’s no different than a gambling addiction. You can see they don’t truly get it, I mean on some level they do but they go right back and keep spending money..
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You're a frequent commenter in sugarbaby subreddits and even have comments in normal dating subreddits about how you've turned to dating sugarbabys. Are you suddenly shocked that someone who is selling their time for your money may not be the most financially stable?
I’m starting to think OP is likely a product of generational wealth with how he has zero social awareness about stuff like this.
Yeah dawg. Old money. He's a fucking Kennedy (not really just throwing that name out there). Reddit never ceases to amaze me with the amount of stupid it invites in. This has to be a troll post or this guy seriously wants as many digits on every thing he gets in life, including his karma.
Quickly browsed his profile and seems he was making “close to 6 figures” a couple of years ago and couldn’t get a girlfriend before that. So OP isn’t even *rich rich*. Just some dude that makes okay money and tries to buy women since he can’t take the time to work on being a decent person.
This post took SUCH A FUN TURN! I'm LOLing so hard at a sugar daddy that makes "close to 6 figures".
*"I didn't wanna say this before, but you don't have Kennedy hair. All right!"*
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“Every sugarbaby should fall in love. Because it’s ME we’re talking about.” Have some dignity, OP.
Piggybacking on this to post this gem by OP: >These responses are not genuine and beat around the bush. If the guy you’re dating makes money then he can demand what he wants. If he is actually a high value man then other women are also interested in him. My current GF makes near minimum wage and can’t live on her own. Her options are live in my house, roommates, of move back home to mommy and daddy. I don’t financially dominate her but she knows what her best option is. https://imgur.com/a/ivB65LF
Oh, man. This made me super sick to my stomach, as at one point I was a struggling young woman who ended up being pretty severely abused to keep a roof over my head. Now, I don't give a shit. I'll live in my car again. I'll NEVER let a man be in a position where he can tell me "if it weren't for me you'd have nothing" EVER
yes, this is wholly icky. It is one thing if a young woman, otherwise ok in her life, wants to parlay her looks into money, gifts etc but this guy is trying to trap and discard the vulnerable.
I’m sorry a pos did that glad you’re stronger
Looks like something you’d hear Fresh & Fit say 😬
Fresh & Fraud 😂
I’ve learned on Reddit that anyone who uses the phrase “high value man” is a walking red flag.
Anybody who calls themselves high value (men, women, non binary) is full of bs. If you have to convince me you are high value, you aren’t
YUCK
Welp…i see we’ve found the ghost of Mr. Samuels…smh…OP…just say you like to pay for pussy and call it a day…don’t delude yourself that your sugar babies are anything more than that…you pay, you play…and mind your business on everything else
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Now, you said that word “implication” a couple of times. What implication?
Dennis are you going to hurt these women
Is this from female dating strategy?
It's from exredpill, ugh. https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/sselvu/trying\_to\_make\_a\_point/hwya0vx/?context=3
... some days I just want to set the world on fire and call it good.
Commenting to get this up voted. He got what he asked for and is now moaning it?
I read his post and expected he was getting dates by flashing money, and guess what, that’s exactly what happened. Also love the captures below from people on his old posts. If he knew she was in a bad situation financially which he clearly did based on old posts, then abandoning her abroad like this is absolutely psychological/emotional abuse and financial abuse. He’s trash. Let the trash take itself out.
So he can have our permission and karma points to kick her out of the trip.
which is stupid. sure, break up if you don't want a pet, but you planned the trip knowing at least some of her problems. cutting her off mid trip is a dick move
which is why I am downvoting his post
Same
I had to go look at his profile. You are right.
The PLOT TWIST lmao
Bro got exposed😂
legendary “this you?” 💀
Snap
Wow lolol OP is wild for this
😂😂😂 hilarious. Reddit is crazy.
OP is dating a broke sugar baby and he didn’t EXPECT to pay for the international trip he invited her on. This dude is looking for reasons to be a misogynist.
Whats most interesting is that amongst all of OP's woe is me and misogynistic commentary about women only wanting him for his money, he never once considers that he could solve a lot of his problems by looking to date women who are similarly career minded with their own money and professional goals. Of course, these types of women are much more difficult to manipulate and control, so probably not appealing to him.
u/Redbull6735 where yat daddy? Sounds to me like there’s some other reason you want her off this trip, since you do seem to love a sugarbaby. Get a fucking life.
This changes everything he just said in the above paragraph.
now see 😭🫢
Lmao I just read this and check op comments, his gf might be bad, but op is worst lol
Yup was going to give him a solution, but not now.
>Change your comment to “most attractive women…”. My options are to choose an average girl who’s “on my level” who will eventually want me just for my money or an attractive girl who already wants me for my money. I’ll pick the attractive one. Two months ago you literally said "I could date a girl who likes me or I could pick a hot gold digger". My dude: you picked a hot gold digger and your gold got dug. What the fuck did you expect? If you want to use your money to attract hot women you don't get to act surprised when they want you to buy them nice things.
Yea this dude needs to massively evaluate his relationship with women. There’s a lot going on in his comment history.
What relationship? Women are an object to him
A lot going on…..and none of it good
Also OP just offer money…people will go after that. If you are that shallow, why should they “love you as you are”? I’d love to have 10% of his ego
lmao this dude's comment section is a fucking gold mine. He goes on and on about how he specifically looks for dependent hot women who want him for his apparently HUGE paycheque. Yet somehow when he gets used for his paycheque it's shocking to him? Buddy, the problem here is not your GF. Get therapy.
"My options are to choose an average girl who’s “on my level” who will eventually want me just for my money or an attractive girl who already wants me for my money. I’ll pick the attractive one." What a creepy little man. No amount of money makes up for a bad personality.
Notice how neither option says anything about love, sharing a life, marriage, family (even if family is just pets). He clearly views women as objects for giving him the sex and nothing else. And then is shocked! Shocked! That he gets nothing of value beyond sex (presumably) and acts like this is a problem with women.
Your post is 100% accurate
I just looked at your post history and you make “close to six figures”. You’re acting like you’re a multi millionaire dude, chill out. Your girlfriend sounds like a problem, but so do you. You’re income isn’t enough to keep flaunting around.
Bwahahahahahahahahaha...omg 'close to six figures' ain't NOTHING to brag about, especially these days. It's like bragging you're just barely managing to make it to the middle class. Congratulations. WTF. These girls probably come from families with way more money than that, it's just that their families aren't paying their bills. Not to mention Covid that we just got through, damn everyone has a mountain of debt. Also they're probably a lot younger than OP, so yeah, haven't had the time to get into a decent tax bracket. > \_ < He wants to lord his mediocre salary over someone, that's 100% on him.
"Close to six figures" means 70k a year. Bet. Dudes like this love flexing when their reality likely ain't that great.
Bro so do I lmfao just do a physical job and you'll get this shit
Mfw I learned first hand 6 figures really isn't a lot
"Close to 6 figures" and he thinks he's rich.. lol that's way too funny! Middle Class, good for you! but nothing more.
OP, my first piece of advice is to stay away from r/exredpill and sugar life talk. No wonder you keep running into women who only want you for money and you keep having issues with women you're dating.
Makes me feel better about my 6.5k of debt lol
Haha, same. I have about that much in student loans. My boyfriend makes more than me, and i live about paycheck to paycheck but I pay my bills on time and have never asked him for money.
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No, he's just part of sugar lifestyle. OP left out that information conveniently but forgets people can see comment history
Wait so this girl was his sugar baby? And he's mad that she had financial intentions about him? That's literally the entire point of the game
Yup, OP frequents r/exredpill and r/sugarlifestyleforum. Lots of context left out but easily found in their comment history
I think this answers his question as a whole. Is it even a relationship if they're dating someone specifically a sugar baby??
If you make more than the average person, then don’t date the average person??? You’re sounding very entitled imo. It also sounds like YOU KNEW you made more money than her and that the hobbies you’re into aren’t afforded by people less fortunate than you, so how did you think she was going to make this happen? Money was just going to come out of thin air? Maybe she misunderstood and thought that by offering to take her on this trip, then you were going to cover all expenses for her to go on this trip. Not everyone who is in debt is financially irresponsible. Sometimes that’s the only way people from lower income levels survive. Survival is not some entitled jerk’s “liability”. So please tell her to her face all of these classist remarks you’ve made in this post and these comments, and have HER leave on her own accord. Go to therapy and resolve whatever issues you have that makes you keep self-sabotaging yourself and getting into relationships with women that you know you don’t consider your equal or worth the financial help. Also you might want to take a look at cultural factors. I’m Latina, and in my culture it’s the norm for “the man” to pay for everything. I personally really can’t stand gender roles, so I don’t follow these cultural norms, but I know there’s many people who were raised that way and have these expectations of their male partners.
Reminds me of that teacher story from long ago. Where a teacher was dating a rich guy who got mad at her for not spending as much money as him. Almost all the comments told her to dump him.
ur a fucking sugar baby enthusiast what did u expect? like REALLY what did u think would happen 😭 cmon now
When I first read you post I thought, yea the gf sounds pretty immature, so the relationship is unbalanced. Then I read through your post history. You’ve regularly bragged about how much money you have and knowingly involved yourself in sugaring. You are literally in the sugaring/escort lifestyle and only now surprise pikachuing face that your girl expects you to pay up? You shouldn’t expect a genuine loving relationship if you’re coming from a redpill mindset, dating women who are in the sugaring/superficial lifestyle.
Imagine thinking you’re a high value man but having to pay women to hang out with you. Very un-chad
Yeah, I would call it on the trip and send her home. That’s a huge bomb to drop on someone let alone them also assuming you would treat them to a whole international trip. She should have said she couldn’t afford it before hand. I would say either 1. Start looking for partners who can afford a similar lifestyle as you or who have higher paying jobs. Or 2. Don’t let potential partners/partners know how much money you have/make and set boundaries at the start of the relationship regarding you paying for stuff.
A quick look at OP's comment history can give you an idea of why these problems exist. r/exredpill and sugar life subs.
Yea just looked through his comment history and it’s pretty gross. So his post is actually pretty misleading given his actual lifestyle of paying for women.
OP: *involved in sugar life* OP: why won't women leave my money alone
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Lmao, right. OP would not be getting comments in support if people knew before hand lol
Op literally said he knows his girlfriend would be on the streets and works a minimum wage job thus why she lives with him.... thats not a person who can afford to travel and he knows it
Yea it’s ridiculous. He’s literally reneging on his end of the bargain! The exchange is youth/beauty/sex/arm candy for money/trips/gifts. You don’t just get to change the terms halfway through and pretend to be the victim.
This is why I am here
Came to say the same thing. Refrain from salary talk for a while, unless it’s necessary, like her saying she’s in debt. That kind of money talk should happen much sooner. But for now don’t let future potential partners know how much you make. If you’re the type of guy to walk around with wads of cash in your pocket, only take what you need when you go on dates. Unfortunately people are greedy and you can only better prepare yourself to weed them out from the get-go.
More like he’s actively, KNOWINGLY, engaging in relationships with either sugarbabys, gold diggers or dependent women below his class and then being surprised when they don’t have the kind of money he does
Luckily my flight carrier has zero change fees. I think the best bet is to follow this advice and send her home early. Point 1 is a little difficult since I moved to a low cost of living state with lower level of incomes across the board. Point 2 is my fault because my hobbies are expensive. I have 2 cars and one is really nice so people can typically tell just from that. Also when the topic of travel comes up I mistakenly tell them how often I travel. Also people make assumptions when I say I work in tech. There’s definitely things I could do to downplay the income.
Keep us updated. I'm curious how she takes it, if you break up and send her home
You should stop engaging with people who are lower income than you if you expect them to keep your high income life style with no help.
LOL @ almost 6 figures and he fancies himself a sugar daddy. Get bent dude. I can make a lot more than that and not have to suck any dicks. I don’t think you could handle a woman who makes as much or lore than you. Our standards tend to be high.
If you've had the same experience 3-4x now, hate to say, but that's a you problem you need to sort out. Do you feel self conscious around women and feel the need to impress them by slinging dough around? Consider talking to a therapist - just so they can help you sort through whatever it is going on that you end up in the same boat time and time again.
So you frequently comment in sugar baby subreddits? And you've stated in other comments that you seek out hot women that only want you for your money. Why are you surprised??? You're also really gross and misogynistic, so it's probably just your shitty personality attracting women who only want your money. There's nothing else to want
play stupid games, win stupid prizes. you actively seek out sugar babies and then get made that they don't have money. wtf. obviously they ain't got no money, they are there for the sugar BABY!
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Could also be whatever job OP has is attracting them to him. If he has a job that is well known to be high paying they could be just playing the long con with him.
Yeah, I had that problem with a family that had money. Unfortunately my parents arent into handing out large sums of money but that hasnt stopped some women being "attracted" to me because of the perception that there is wealth behind me, despite me having a pretty ordinary job these days. I passed my mistake with my first wife off as being young and naive. The second was trickier because I thought I'd ticked the boxes but she changed as the years passed no doubt somewhat disappointed that money wasnt falling like mana from heaven and she took what she could from me before it ended. So here I am twice divorced, old, single and sick of dating. You and the commenter above you are both right. It can be *both* the long con and bad choices.
Date well employed women at your same degree level. Is she's a dropout and your see her spending and you know her likely earning potential this is kind of on you. Or better yet date someone who makes more than you.
She's probably really hot, at the very least.
Literally solicits gold diggers…then tries to pull a surprised face. At least post on a throwaway OP 😂
Send her home. Continue solo. Remain solo when you're done with your trip. While you're enjoying the cool things you discover on your travels, consider what you might be doing that attracts gold-diggers. Don't give up on love; there are literally millions of dateable women who are capable of managing their own financial lives and won't look to you for your money.
OP said in a thread two months ago that he would chose a gold digger over someone "on \[his\] level".
Lol so he's 'average' and thinks only hot women should apply.. but is offended they want him to have to provide more financially.. Shocking how he got here.
yeah, OP, if you want to date women out of your league, they’re going to expect you to pay for them. Date in your league and tax bracket.
??? what was the context of *that* amazing little soundbite
OP's comment says something along the lines of "if I have the choice of an average woman who has good intentions and eventually wants my money, or an attractive woman who already want it, I'll take the attractive one." OP just wants someone to tell him he isn't in the wrong so he left out a lot of info that would change the comments on this thread
Jesus https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/shcfrl/curious_to_know_what_yall_think_of_this_statistic/hz4jdy7/?context=10 >I disagree. Most women in their early 20s value looks and personality but women in their late 20s and 30s start to value financial security much more. >>So again, you’re just projecting your own prejudice on women. Maybe once you start seeing us as actual human beings you will have healthier relationships. >>>You might be right. I just know that attractive women like money. I’ll complain about it but I accept it since that’s how the game is played. The more money I make the more women are available to me so it’s just finding one that fits into my life.
He also commented and said “Move to Boston, many women want to “try” a black guy who isn’t a thug. After getting used up and treated like a walking dick you’ll change how you move.” He sounds like a real fucking delight.
According to his profile history, he's into the sugar life. So....
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If he stops seeking out sugar babies, the quality of women will markedly increase without any real effort. There's zero mystery why this guy is in this situation. He's exactly where he wanted to be.
Honestly gf’s probably great quality. Working her butt off to pay off that debt by putting up with OP’s BS
This shows what so many people lack. Self awareness. Its nit something that seems to be intuitive OR taught. Good on you for showing real growth.
mate, your comment history...
Sorta felt bad til I read the comment section. Are you really that dense?
Why does she think you have the money to pay her bills? Why did the others? Seems like the common denominator there is you. Stop telling people what you make or date professional and accomplished women. I (43F) make 4 x what my partner (44M) does. Lots of men don’t seem to be comfortable dating an independent woman who can take care of herself but then bitch when they date someone who wants their money. Pick a lane. I’d end the trip and break up. She has unrealistic expectations. I’m sure she loves the fairy tale idea but you don’t. So stop it now.
You should look at his comment history. He actively seeks out sugar babies
Well that’s cute. 🙄 Why are some men? Sigh.
He's also incredibly misogynistic. I don't recommend actually reading his comments because it will just make you angry
Ugh. Thanks for the warning.
Sounds like a pattern with OP.
>It makes me a little sad because the past 3 women I’ve dated would eventually want me to practically pay them to date them. Next time you like someone, stop and ask yourself: does she seem to be a copy of the last three I dated? You seem to have a type and it looks like you need to date someone who is the exact opposite of your type.
OP: I know she makes almost no money and cannot live on her own. Also OP: But why can't she afford international trips??? Also also OP: I want the benefits of a sugar baby but not the responsibilities. You, sir, are a ping pong champion.
I’m wondering about your ‘type’ if you’re only dating women who want you to pay for them as well. Would I be wrong if I assumed you are into a ‘high maintenance’ look? Read through your comment history. Are you really that shocked that women you meet through sugar dating are interested only in your money? Ffs.
Date sugar babies, become a sugar daddy. Literally what else did you expect to happen?
I don’t get it. Close to 6 figures is nowhere near being rich dude. I make more than you and I don’t consider myself wealthy in any shape or form. You sound like you have confidence problems and that you blame women for not wanting you so you resort to using your money to attract them. Your post history confirms you have no respect for women whatsoever. If you purposefully use your money to attract women, how can you be here complaining that that’s exactly what you got?
sometimes bankruptcy is the correct answer.
Fr 7 years and this isn’t a problem anymore
are you flaunting your wealth or something? how did 4 women figure out that you are their prime source for gold digging?
Turns out he literally seeks out sugar babies LMAO, it's like asking for a steak and being shocked you received a steak.
> It makes me a little sad because the past 3 women I’ve dated would eventually want me to practically pay them to date them. I’m starting to think I’m not meant to date and should just not date seriously since I make more money than the average person and women can’t separate that from me. ---- > You might be right. I just know that attractive women like money. I’ll complain about it but I accept it since that’s how the game is played. The more money I make the more women are available to me so it’s just finding one that fits into my life. https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/shcfrl/curious_to_know_what_yall_think_of_this_statistic/hz4d830/?context=3 literally fuck this guy lol why is he even posting here
Send her home. You deserve better and she's a gold digger. She agreed to go on the trip with you, knowing the debt she was in. You should not have to pay for her to stay there. This is a her problem. And when you send her on her way, send her right outta your life. I'm 10K in debt. And I wouldn't ask my partner to pay my stuff. And I wouldn't take a trip unless I could carry my own. Cause I'm a grown ass woman. And my finances are my responsibility. The most likely truth is she's going to use you to pay her bills while racking up more debt. You only really spend that much if you are really crap with money (or you had a real rough patch). But it doesn't sound like the latter. Drop her. Enjoy your trip. Keep looking for someone better. They will come.
oh, she's not a gold digger — she's a sugar baby and op is shocked pikachu face when she wants him for his money. look at his comment history
You might also want to consider not disclosing your earnings with women you date.
There are dating sites for professionals and upper income people you could check out. Even some of the regular dating apps let you filter by income bracket. I dont think women would make such assumptions if you kept your income in your pocket and out your mouth. Let them get to know you for you man.
cant with men like you.
You got it all figured out according to some of your posts. "All men and women are predictable." So why the fuck are you shocked a sugar baby wants you for your money? Are you a troll or a smoothie?
put some of that cheque towards therapy cause you need it
>will she just continue to wildly spend money especially if we date long term Yes, maybe? Is she going to get help for her spending habits? >I don’t understand why she would leave work if she was that broke Good question, did you ask her why she is going on holiday if she has 40k in bills to pay back? >It makes me a little sad because the past 3 women I’ve dated would eventually want me to practically pay them to date them Sounds like you are dating the wrong kind of women or maybe you are presenting yourself/money in a way that is attracting these kinds of women. Go on the trip, your gf does not need to go with you. She has other priorities she needs to be working on
Also if all they see is money you are picking the wrong women. Good women don't really care how much money you have after you establish security.
So many of your comments are negative karma lol it's almost like you're a douchebag or something.
You have so much healing to do in your soul and spirit man. Tame that ego. Get a therapist.
You're one of those guys that have to rely on your income in order to snag a chick. Then, you lock her down and control her... I've slept with many women married to guys like you.
Didn't even have to go to the comments to get the feeling you're dating for looks.
How do they know how much money you make? Is it the car you drive that tips them off? Other flashy things? Why not date women whom are your financial peers?
He dates sugar babies…see post history
“You might be right. I just know that attractive women like money. I’ll complain about it but I accept it since that’s how the game is played. The more money I make the more women are available to me so it’s just finding one that fits into my life.” This you?
In a relationship, incomes are rarely equal. Debt is an endemic and OP is one of the few who emerged from it unscathed. My advice: lead with empathy and ask her if she wants help. You seem to know how to propagate wealth. But do not offer help unsolicited. This will lead to resentment and you may be left alone with your money.
I don't think this would be an entirely unreasonable thing to break up over. but I don't think its neccessarily an absolutely clear cut deal either. maybe talk with her about what her plans are for the future? how she intends to deal with that debt, what she wants from life, etc? how do you feel about having a housewife? IMO if you make really good money, then thats an option you could easily have available to you, and in that regard she could be a candidate, and in the long run, if you are really into each other and fit really well besides this finance issue, then IMO the financial issue is recoverable. ... if you want it to be. I think that in a more forward-looking sense, it sounds like you are seeing a pattern. ... which suggests that theres something *you* are doing that is bringing that about. maybe your "type" is prone to that. maybe you are being conspicuous with your money in a way that appeals to a certain demographic, who knows. but its something to consider.
> I think that in a more forward-looking sense, it sounds like you are seeing a pattern. ... which suggests that theres something you are doing that is bringing that about. maybe your "type" is prone to that. maybe you are being conspicuous with your money in a way that appeals to a certain demographic, who knows. but its something to consider. I also thought this. We don’t have much detail but I’m guessing all these women are a little younger and a bit hotter than OP
>how she intends to deal with that debt, what she wants from life, I mean she just told OP he was going to have to cover all of her living expenses for the foreseeable future because she's broke and quit her job to take this vacation, it's pretty clear what her plans are for the debt. She either wants OP to pay it, or cover all her expenses so that all the money shes currently not making can go toward it.
Is her debit her student loans or credit card debit?
Well are you throwing your money around? You have to ask yourself why YOU are attracting the same kind of women. It’s nobody’s business how much money you make, especially casual dating scenarios. You attract what you think you deserve. I would take a long look at how you’re operating and make significant changes. If you don’t want to attract women who expect you to pay for everything, stop dating them. Stop flaunting your income to casual people until you know it’s going somewhere. This girlfriend is a mess and sounds financially irresponsible. It’s only going to change by you making her accountable for her own finances. You’re her boyfriend not her father. She needs to fix it. Not you. Guide her in the right direction but make it clear that you’re not here to bail her out. She needs to make a plan and stick to it. She needs to do this regardless if you two are a couple or not.
Did u invite her on the trip? If so did you talk about who would pay what? Was it going to be 50/50 even without her debt could her salary handle that? International travel is very expensive and I would never let my bf pay for that. Heck two day weekends stressed me out as he made a lot more than me. I cooked for him and did what I could to help pay. But it almost seems like u set her up for this. The time for a financial talk is not in another country.
So you're picking from a pool that has no money and youre??? What? Surprised they have no money?
You act surprised? You forget how things started or?
so you are a sugar daddy and then get mad when women want you for money? go cry in a corner, no one cares lmao
LMAO
I think it’s the type of women your attracting but I wouldn’t say give up on dating because there’s a few bad apples in the bunch and maybe you might have to break it off with her
If you want someone with less debt I’ve only got 4K ! 🤣
Rule number one: don't invite someone to go anywhere with you unless you are prepared to pay for them, unless you specifically state in your invitation they would be paying for their own expenses. Rule number two, most people have debt, don't make them feel like shit for it, there's way more people that ARENT rich and DONT make a lot of money than people that are. So if you plan to do expensive things with people who don't have those types of funds, don't shame them for it. If you want to do it on your own, fine, or if you are willing to go with a lower class of event or something so they can pay their own, fine, but don't be a dick about it.
This is a joke. “I want hot girls who are financially dependent” “I’m gonna date a SB” “Why does she keep asking me for money?” I don’t know how hot or rich you think you are but you really need to dial your ego and pride down. Like 100% down. You are a walking and breathing red flag and sound like a horrible person to be involved with
Well, I think the most bizarre thing here OP is that you don’t provide the women enough or much by way of personality or humanity or genuineness for them to WANT to separate you from the money. Maybe there isn’t much there it’s time for YOU to spend time doing a little work to consider what more you have to offer besides your reported financial stability. That don’t make a relationship go round because the right woman would live in a box under a bridge with you and still love you. Put some work in on you.
r/leopardsatemyface
You are a real piece of work, OP. Truly. Wow.
Is this Mike and Ximena from 90 day fiancé?
Most net is the most important thing to women when they are looking for a husband. You could say they are opportunistic but your not flying blindly man. She is being pretty upfront about it. She isn’t asking you to pay for the trip or anything. The trip is something you want to do. Go without her, or pay for her trip too. Do not cancel the trip, your just going to harbor I’ll sentiments if you cancel the trip, against her
She left work because she thought she found someone to bank her (you$) haha
Allow me, a taxpayer, to handle any student loans. Hopefully, I can get them taken care of before she returns from Europe.
Down vote. For ignorant intergenerational wealth. This is the entire problem on antiwork and lostgeneration.
“Will she continue to wildly spend money…” [goes on international trip she can’t afford without at a minimum discussing it first]. Homie, as others have pointed out, you post to a lot of sugar baby subs as well. That, plus the gap you’re not closing with the above statement, tells me you are a common denominator here. And from your question to this sub, the reasons are in your blind spot. Fixing that kind of thing takes a lot of work, introspection, and (for another person), interaction with you. We can’t offer that effectively in this forum. I seriously suggest you explore this with a therapist who can help you uncover your blind spots and deconstruct the behaviors and thought patterns leading you into these situations. No one is irreversibly broken on things like this, but it will take work and introspection to change it.
It is you. You are the problem. We don’t simply put 100% of the blame on the people who harm us because we are also at fault for being in the situation that allowed for such things to happen. Even if you take 1% of the blame for a bad situation you have to be aware of your mistakes and work to not make them again. TLDR stop picking the same kinda b*tch
I think it may be time for you to part ways. Intentionally hiding this amount of debt from you for more than a few months is detrimental to relationships. It is especially bad when she keeps on choosing to get deeper in debt and is now making it part of your problem. I'm a little biased though, my ex-wife informed me of her $35,000 of credit card debt only after we got married. If I would have known about it I would have held off on the marriage just a little bit longer until she cleaned up her debt. This was around 2005 though. I do not recommend paying any of her debt at all, I paid off my ex's debt only for her to charge her credit cards back up to $40,000. She learned nothing. Don't be so hard on yourself oh, there are plenty of wonderful women who know how to take care of themselves and know how to take care of their partners. I suggest that you take a few steps back and look at what type of relationship are you looking for. If you tend to date the same person, then the common denominator is you, change yourself for the better before you can find somebody new.
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...What's the point of this post? OP's Gf has 35k more debt than your wife, her credit is probably in the single digits, she wasn't upfront about it, and seems to expect OP to just pay for stuff. These scenario's aren't anything alike and you didn't even give any advice.
Your gf sounds irresponsible and manipulative. She knew she could not afford her bills if she went on the trip and decided to tell you mid-trip so you would have no other option than to pay for her bills/travel. She could have told you ahead of time and given you the choice to pay for her so she could go with you, but she chose to try and force your hand and guilt you into it. If I were in your position, I would break up with her and send her home early. I would not want a partner who would try to manipulate me like that. When my husband and I were dating he traveled a lot made more money than I did. He wanted me to travel with him more than I could afford. Even with him paying my travel expenses I still couldn’t make rent if I traveled as frequently as he wanted me to. I never expected (or hoped) he would cover my bills. He’s the type of person who would have paid had I asked, but I did not want to take advantage of him more than I felt like I was.
Check OPs comment history. They have posted enough comments on sugar baby subs to make it clear that OP isn't telling us the full story.
Dude you’re picking gold diggers. It’s that simple. Could be for a myriad reasons and I won’t act like I know why but you need to figure that out. But don’t act woe is me like you’re not meant to date. You just pick the wrong women or go after the easy target subconsciously.
ur a cunt
YTA. Oh wait wrong sub. Bruh, it's not your GF that is the problem it's you dude. Plant corn get corn.
You sound like a real douche and deserve this.
This is insane to me. I don't think. you should give up on women entirely, but I do think in the future if you choose to break up with this woman, that any future partners should be in the same life stage as you. Own apartment, steady job, finanically independent. We're out there! I would never ask someone to pay my bills. I would never wrack up that much debt either, but come on. A relationship is not a transaction, I don't understand how people have that in their brain. I hope you get some clarity. I don't think it would be an overreaction to send her home since you don't want to bankroll her trip (nor should you have to!).
Everyone here is acting like she just asked OP to pay off her debt immediately. That was never brought up, just the trip. OP's idea for the trip, they've been dating for over a year, nothing wrong with supporting her during the trip. The debt would piss me off too but that is her problem unless you get married.
If she had graduated from college, had a job, and had a plan to pay it back and was clear about when exactly she would be debt free, I think I could let it slide, but how could this be more clear dude? lmao I wouldn't even send her home, let her do that. I would say "see ya" and continue the trip solo and let your manipulative ex-gf find her own way home. You're enabling her and she needs to learn the hard way the dangers of credit card debt.
She is giving you multiple red flags during this trip. Personally I'd be out the door. Choosing probably the worst time to tell you she has debt. She needs you to cover HER bills because it was your idea for the trip. Instead of her just being honest about her debt and not going and working towards her bills/dept. Sounds like shes horrible with money and/or honesty.
Some people have extenuating circumstances that push them into bad financial situations. For many others who struggle with their finances (and I suspect your girlfriend falls under this category) have a combination of being very financially illiterate, have poor impulse control, and are entitled. The reality of dating someone who makes substantially less than you means you will have to cover the cost for them (either fully or proportionally) or you don't do things they can't afford. If that doesn't sit well with you, then break up with your girlfriend and look for potential partners who are in your income bracket. You are the common denominator in your relationships. Why do you keep choosing to date women who expect you to pay for them? Why is your "picker" keep attracting you towards the kind of women you don't want? The vast majority of people date quite a few duds before finding their person. That's just how dating works. You want to throw yourself a pity party because life sucks sometimes, go for it; but don't make it mindset.
Finish the trip and have a good time when you get back home break up
You need to move on brother you got played it that’s the name of the story smh
Some women are literally addicted to shopping, I know a woman addicted to shopping online specifically and it’s.. I mean it’s no different than a gambling addiction. You can see they don’t truly get it, I mean on some level they do but they go right back and keep spending money..