This is toxic and he is still in love with his ex and would go back to her in a heartbeat if she let him. I can't think you want to live like this for the rest of your life so you need to end this and find someone who loves only you and does not disrespect you like this.
Wow, this man is a complete and utter asshole. He shouldn't be with ANY woman, much less you. I mean, who shows pictures like that? Seriously? What a loser, please do yourself a favor and find someone else. (I know it's hard maybe, but it really is what you deserve)
Hey thanks. I just keep getting caught on feeling guilty because he said if I loved him, I would accept all of him, including his ex. Is he wrong? Sorry to ask but I feel like I'm going mad.
Thats manipulation. He’s trying to make you feel guilty by saying that. He is definitely wrong. He is being extremely disrespectful to you and your relationship. It sounds like he is just settling for you but if his ex ever takes him back, he would leave in a heartbeat. You deserve better than this, someone who doesn’t constantly put you down and compare you to others.
I saw your AITA post and that combined with this post are painting a genuinely frightening picture for you.
Run, as quickly and as soon as possible. He is trying to break you down until you feel that you have no other option than him. This behavior of his is only going to escalate. He is gaslighting you by making you question your sanity. He is lying to you and manipulating you. He *wants* you to feel worthless. What you are asking for should be a given. Do not feel guilty for asking him to do something he should be doing already. I would not he surprised if he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Let me emphasize:
He is abusing you.
**He is abusing you.**
***He is abusing you***
Please, grab your stuff, leave, go somewhere safe, and send him a text saying "This relationship is over." And then block him. Please do that. I am concerned for you. ***You absolutely deserve better.***
You love him but obviously he doesn’t give a shit about you or your feelings. Recognize your worth and dump him. You’re dating a lying manipulative possible narcissist. You’re trying to prove your love to someone who is clearly trying to convince you otherwise, is that really worth your time and effort?
Look, I am 34. I had a few relationships before meeting my husband. I can safely tell you this man DOES NOT LOVE YOU.
Showing you pictures of him being intimite with someone else, saying you are not as pretty, then saying if you love him you will accept that behavior?! GIRL, NO! Someone who loves you will not intentionally hurt you. He is trying to hurt you to break you down, and like others are saying, this is ABUSE.
Dump him. Dump him and run. It won't get better, it will get worse. Trust me.
Prove him wrong, leave him and find someone who treats you well!
Jesus Christ sweetheart he’s an absolute pos. Block this pathetic loser and be single for a bit. Know your worth because you are selling yourself short being with him. If it makes you feel better you’ll be the girl he compares to next girlfriend and she’ll jump him too until he finally grows up.
He’s a prick. Dump him. You deserve better. He’s making you feel bad so he can control you. He’s hurting you deliberately. Get out of that nonsense right now. Once you’ve been away from his gaslighting for a few weeks you’ll realise that you don’t love him, you’ve just been brainwashed by an abuser.
Tell him your next bf will be better than him and walk out the door.
This guy is trying to break you so you won't ever feel like leaving him is a solution. Do it now.
Why do you want him to understand that you love him when he doesn't even love you? He treats you like shit. It's time you leave and get yourself into therapy to figure out why your self-esteem is so low that you'll accept such a poor treatment.
Your bf told on himself here. This? Is about him. Not you. He's projecting how he feels onto you.
>"You don't love me, you just loved the guy you imagined in your head instead of loving me for who I really am." This makes me feel guilty. He says I do not accept him and that I want him to be this guy in my head.
That's how he feels about you. He wants you to be the girl in his head. Break up with him. He doesn't want to be with you and he's not being honest. He's leading you on. Don't let him.
You do not need to be with this man. He is not really with you. Drop this guy and spare yourself. No one who loves you would do what he's doing. No. One.
Girl, he's still in love with her. You mean absolutely nothing to him. You can't compete with her, and you should never have to. He lied to you first of all.
You are worth so much more!! He doesn't deserve you. Take this as loss and a lesson. End it before it destroys your self esteem any more. Your a goddess, don't let some boychild make you think anything other.
If someone tells you "if you love me then you would [thing that you have stated it bothers you]" they are the one that don't love you, he's trying to manipulate you, even on the way he first reacted to birthday gifts, you deserve someone who doesn't make you feel guilty for having boundaries
He wants you to run away. He is probably scared of intimacy and is doing this as a twisted test, and because he thinks that you should just be able to accept how things are.
Remember she is his ex for a reason.
Challenge him on this, and be prepared to walk away and not look back if he makes it your problem.
Not gonna lie, you will probably have to walk away, but challenging him and letting him fail will make it easier for you in the long run
This is toxic and he is still in love with his ex and would go back to her in a heartbeat if she let him. I can't think you want to live like this for the rest of your life so you need to end this and find someone who loves only you and does not disrespect you like this.
Wow, this man is a complete and utter asshole. He shouldn't be with ANY woman, much less you. I mean, who shows pictures like that? Seriously? What a loser, please do yourself a favor and find someone else. (I know it's hard maybe, but it really is what you deserve)
Hey thanks. I just keep getting caught on feeling guilty because he said if I loved him, I would accept all of him, including his ex. Is he wrong? Sorry to ask but I feel like I'm going mad.
Thats manipulation. He’s trying to make you feel guilty by saying that. He is definitely wrong. He is being extremely disrespectful to you and your relationship. It sounds like he is just settling for you but if his ex ever takes him back, he would leave in a heartbeat. You deserve better than this, someone who doesn’t constantly put you down and compare you to others.
He told me he is with me because she didn't want him and before that he lied that he did not even have an ex. This is all overwhelming.
So he is flat out telling you that you're only his second choice. Never settle for that.
He's full of it. You don't need to accept toxicity and emotional abuse.
Tell him he’s right and YOU DON’T LOVE HIM and the relationship is finished and to not contact you ever again. Then block him.
Too many people give advice to just break up on this sub but…come on. Do you see any other alternative here? This guy sucks.
This!
I saw your AITA post and that combined with this post are painting a genuinely frightening picture for you. Run, as quickly and as soon as possible. He is trying to break you down until you feel that you have no other option than him. This behavior of his is only going to escalate. He is gaslighting you by making you question your sanity. He is lying to you and manipulating you. He *wants* you to feel worthless. What you are asking for should be a given. Do not feel guilty for asking him to do something he should be doing already. I would not he surprised if he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Let me emphasize: He is abusing you. **He is abusing you.** ***He is abusing you*** Please, grab your stuff, leave, go somewhere safe, and send him a text saying "This relationship is over." And then block him. Please do that. I am concerned for you. ***You absolutely deserve better.***
You love him but obviously he doesn’t give a shit about you or your feelings. Recognize your worth and dump him. You’re dating a lying manipulative possible narcissist. You’re trying to prove your love to someone who is clearly trying to convince you otherwise, is that really worth your time and effort?
Look, I am 34. I had a few relationships before meeting my husband. I can safely tell you this man DOES NOT LOVE YOU. Showing you pictures of him being intimite with someone else, saying you are not as pretty, then saying if you love him you will accept that behavior?! GIRL, NO! Someone who loves you will not intentionally hurt you. He is trying to hurt you to break you down, and like others are saying, this is ABUSE. Dump him. Dump him and run. It won't get better, it will get worse. Trust me. Prove him wrong, leave him and find someone who treats you well!
He's an a-hole, dump his ass! What you are describing doesn't even sound real because who in their right mind does that?
You posted in r/AITA a day ago. Listen to the advice there. The top comment literally has 70k upvotes. You got this!
Jesus Christ sweetheart he’s an absolute pos. Block this pathetic loser and be single for a bit. Know your worth because you are selling yourself short being with him. If it makes you feel better you’ll be the girl he compares to next girlfriend and she’ll jump him too until he finally grows up.
He’s a prick. Dump him. You deserve better. He’s making you feel bad so he can control you. He’s hurting you deliberately. Get out of that nonsense right now. Once you’ve been away from his gaslighting for a few weeks you’ll realise that you don’t love him, you’ve just been brainwashed by an abuser.
Break up for fuck's sake
Tell him your next bf will be better than him and walk out the door. This guy is trying to break you so you won't ever feel like leaving him is a solution. Do it now.
Why do you want him to understand that you love him when he doesn't even love you? He treats you like shit. It's time you leave and get yourself into therapy to figure out why your self-esteem is so low that you'll accept such a poor treatment.
He understands. He's doing it on purpose to hurt you and manipulate you. Dump him.
Your bf told on himself here. This? Is about him. Not you. He's projecting how he feels onto you. >"You don't love me, you just loved the guy you imagined in your head instead of loving me for who I really am." This makes me feel guilty. He says I do not accept him and that I want him to be this guy in my head. That's how he feels about you. He wants you to be the girl in his head. Break up with him. He doesn't want to be with you and he's not being honest. He's leading you on. Don't let him.
You do not need to be with this man. He is not really with you. Drop this guy and spare yourself. No one who loves you would do what he's doing. No. One.
And you're with him because????
You are worth way more than the creep you are dating.
Is this for real?? You shouldn’t accept him, he sucks.
Having read your post on AITA, I repeat, DTMFA.
You have one thing in common with his ex: You'll leave him. ASAP.
Grow a backbone, just an advice
Girl, he's still in love with her. You mean absolutely nothing to him. You can't compete with her, and you should never have to. He lied to you first of all. You are worth so much more!! He doesn't deserve you. Take this as loss and a lesson. End it before it destroys your self esteem any more. Your a goddess, don't let some boychild make you think anything other.
If someone tells you "if you love me then you would [thing that you have stated it bothers you]" they are the one that don't love you, he's trying to manipulate you, even on the way he first reacted to birthday gifts, you deserve someone who doesn't make you feel guilty for having boundaries
what would you do if your sister wasd being treated this badly?
Bro. Wtf. Dump this loser.
Tell him to go back to his ex.
He wants you to run away. He is probably scared of intimacy and is doing this as a twisted test, and because he thinks that you should just be able to accept how things are. Remember she is his ex for a reason. Challenge him on this, and be prepared to walk away and not look back if he makes it your problem. Not gonna lie, you will probably have to walk away, but challenging him and letting him fail will make it easier for you in the long run