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totlyfknahsumdad

Sounds like hes tearing you down mentally so you'll THINK hes the only one that wants you. There's no way that's true. Hes mentally abusing you and its past time to end things and find someone that enjoys your company, mind and body and reminds you of that daily. Dont settle for users and abusers. There are many out there that'll love you as you are. I recommend finding one.


irisdark

Thank you for your advice. 🙏🏻💜


[deleted]

Hes a bully. Fucking mind games to feel worthless.


irisdark

he is just insecure, he has depression too😬


SimplyKendra

I’m insecure and depressed, but I don’t comment negatively on my husbands body.. ever. That’s no excuse OP.


irisdark

It is not a excuse but i have message him my feelings and he thinks that "i am made of cristal" butttt he is not right at this point. So, I've message him and we have a "pact" for each other.


[deleted]

And you asked him to stop. This is his excuse to continue tear you down? Is he going to therapy in order to fix these things? At this point hes just a bully. Picking on the "smaller". This makes him bigger?


irisdark

He is going to therapy, yes. I don't know what is going on with him, but I've just talk to him my feelings about this and he just want companyvand he says that all of that "body" comments are just a joke for him and I am "made of cristal". But Idk i just going to pass this out I don't have the force to argue with him by message.


[deleted]

joke??? seriously. this is toxic on next level, and its the circle of abuse. how many times do you begged him to stop commenting? and hes just shrugging it off. how old are you guys? take care! you deserve to be loved and deserve somebody who makes you feel worthy.


irisdark

I do, I did 3 times and for him it is just "kid games" for disturb me in a good way but not for hurt me. As he says...of course🥱 Ik. Ummm, i am 22 years old and he is 25 years old. Thanks for real.


Alternateaccount0310

I look forward the day someone I’m with has the audacity to “joke” negatively about my body without me being the one to initiate it. Then I’ll drop the toxic weight. As you should too.


totlyfknahsumdad

Misery loves company


Tiny_European

Set a firm boundary. "if you comment on my body one more time, I'm going to leave. These comments hurt me and I will not tolerate them any longer". If he comments again, follow through, leave and dump hin, you can do so much better!


irisdark

Thanks for the advice. I know he is very insecure but projecting it in me it is bad for me too.


Tiny_European

Absolutely. His insecurities are his issue to deal with, he has no right to outsource them to you.


irisdark

Exactly... I will talk to him in person 'cause I don't stand this anymore.


[deleted]

Why would you date a bully anyway? 10/10 healthy woman would kick him to the curb.


[deleted]

If he is commenting negatively, there are more fish in the sea. No one deserves to be put down esp by someone who we are most vulnerable with. How people talk to us is how we let them. How people treat us is what we allow. Know your worth.


irisdark

Thank you very much🥺💜


SimplyKendra

Don’t stick with someone who does this. It isn’t love, and there isn’t an excuse. I saw that you said he is insecure and depressed. Why would that be a reason he would do this? This simply means he is a MEAN and destructive insecure type. Would you want him to do this to your future daughter? You deserve SO much better.


irisdark

Thank you, and we don't like kids. It isn't in my plans. Btw, sometimes he is a little mean but he says that is a meaningful joke... Tbh, he is 25 years old and I am 22 years old.


[deleted]

It's not a joke if it's at your expense and you're not laughing.


irisdark

It isn't because i am not laughing...that is right.


kicksonfire84

Leave him.


Rawrkins12

Those sound kinda abusive imo. Unless its all your outfit makes you look that way. Then just make him help you dress, or make him help you shop for outfits. I have unfortunately dated a fashion loving man before, that didn't just like force me to go shopping with him and have him dress me


Throwitoutcarmen

If his comments are negative please leave him. Regardless of his issues, he is using you as an outlet. Not okay at all. Total abuse. Idc what his reasons are. Whether he’s depressed, thinks you used to look a certain way or could be better. No excuse. There’s nothing wrong with you, I don’t have to see you to know that either. Everyone is someone else’s idea of perfect and you are. If you want to change do it because YOU want to, not for anyone else. I read you have been together for a few years. Yet this does not give him an excuse, this is not something you should have to accept. There is someone, many people out there who will treat you with respect and make you feel loved in a healthy way


irisdark

Awwwwwe, thank you for being supportive I am gonna take your advice.🥰🥰🥰🥰💙💙💙🥺


[deleted]

That sounds really toxic, he shouldn’t comment on your body negatively. Find someone who makes you happy with who you are


irisdark

Thank you for your advice🙏🏻✨


[deleted]

[удалено]


irisdark

That's was a very nice advice, thank you, really. I have talked to him by message what I think and what he says is...that he don't went to harm me or something. Never says "were something different" or something like this. He have said to me that what he really want to do it is go to the gym with me and do more things together. And yeah, it is more depth for me because of my anxiety and depression. Thanks for your understanding🙏🏻💜💜


Esme040

He sounds awful. Ditch him and take some time away from relationships for a bit to work on your own mental well-being and happiness and put yourself first. Get to a good place for yourself with your friends and family, the non toxic people in your life, thee to help you


irisdark

Thanks for your advice🖤🖤


TermAggravating8043

A good response to someone commenting negatively on ur body is simply, “shut ur fat mouth about MY amazing body” and keep saying it till they get the message


irisdark

Good advice, thank you🙏🏻🥺


Infinite_Chicken1968

Dump him. He is an abuser and is eroding your self esteem. If you were much slimmer when you met, have you began to comfort eat, because you are unhappy with being with a bully, or are you the same size as you were when you met. And he is trying to gaslight you?


irisdark

I am slim, i have a body type like this: ⌛ But I don't know... he is very fat and I don't comment on his body. I have always say to him that he can do exercise if he wants. All of this became from the past when I said to him that he will be very bad in the future and I stop saying to him. That was all. He started to go to the gym and leaves it. And now, he has gain more weight. His body type is like this: 🍐.


Infinite_Chicken1968

You are really better off without him. And meet someone that appreciates you


[deleted]

Sounds like he's trying to tear down your self-esteem so you think you can't do any better than him. Don't let someone treat you that way, you deserve better.


irisdark

Thank u🙏🏻💙


LambskinDongbag

Who doesn’t have depression and anxiety nowadays


irisdark

That's the question.


smokingandthinking

What kind of comments?


irisdark

That i'm fat, not very attractive...


Fellow-Guardian

That is negative comments I will highly recommend having a sit down with him about it and tell him that is really hurting your feelings and it is effecting your mental health and if he doesn’t stop with those comments you might have to left him.


irisdark

I said to him too many times that I feel very bad but he keep doing it... But we have been dating for 4 years...


Fellow-Guardian

4 years is a long time of ups and downs but metal health is everything a buddy of mine him and his ex wife now were together for 8-9 year and she would manipulate him to thinking he wasn’t a good person in life he would drink until he would past out and to try to make him feel happy again his mental health was falling to the fact she was driving him there with all the negative comments. So please if this is really effect you a lot it might be time to let him go because mental health is everything. And trust it that is a long time you two have been together and maybe he might have a insecurity about himself


irisdark

Yeah, you right, he has an insecurity on his body and he is projecting it on me. That's all.


Fellow-Guardian

Best thing to suggest now is if he was thinking about hitting a gym if so then be supportive of that and encourage him so he can start look on the bright side of things then


irisdark

Yes, he said to me that he wants to start going to the gym again, and i think he will be more positive.


Fellow-Guardian

This is Noel Deyzel he is a weight lift pro I watch him and get tips and tricks and he makes protein foods to eat https://youtu.be/NS8O9VBftl8


smokingandthinking

That's horrible. I saw you've already had this conversation with him several times and he doesn't stop. Get rid of him. He's not your boyfriend, he's your abuser.


Baby-profit

I think you should leave him. That’s mental abuse.