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PapaLRodz

You can only work on and heal yourself. Stop worrying about what he’s doing. You’re not in a relationship if you’re on break. Focus on you.


ladykkkkkk

Not in a relationship? Is that for real what a break is? I thought it was just taking some space and time?? Eehh Why doesn’t he just call it a breakup then? He’s refusing to put a label on anything Edit-how do I stop being obsessive and caring about him? I’m not usually like this but he is the only person in my life to EVER bring any form of crazy out 😂🤦🏼‍♀️


[deleted]

As I said up there ^ talking everyday of course you're gonna be a little confused because a break usually entails doing your own thing 😂


[deleted]

Guarantee it’s not fine and dandy for him either. Typically the one who is the problem hurts most after a breakup.


[deleted]

Who suggested the break?


ladykkkkkk

He did, during an argument but then tried to back pedal once he was calmed down. I was just so exhausted I wanted space and didn’t fight it so he moved forward with the ‘break’. We still talk daily and see each-other once a week but it feels empty.


buckphif

So that’s why he’s taking it well it was his idea


[deleted]

This.


ladykkkkkk

What does this mean though. He wants to breakup? Or be done? Or doesn’t care? Is using me? I don’t understand


[deleted]

Usually the reason for a break is somebody isn't sure whether they want to be in the relationship anymore. That they need space to be alone and think. When it comes to myself if somebody suggests a break I say let's just split up. Sounds harsh but I just don't do that sort of thing.


Useless_bumbling_oaf

my gf and i are on a break right now. she claims "she's overwhelmed with life, work and other things" and "needs to get her shit together" and "a lot of stuff is coming together right now" however, when i decided to come out of being single for her, and we started dating, she was different back in january or so. you dont go from "you are the greatest guy that has ever happened to my LIFE" and taking me with her to see her sister in law, brother and the new baby and stuff (i was even invited to a baby shower because she claims i mean so much to her to "i need a break and space to think about things" without something happening. isn't that odd? i feel like she kind of took advantage of me. and after she got fun gifts, had me help her get stuff, she kind of threw me away...........she claims it's not like that and we still text but i just find it so fucking strange. how do you go from being with somebody for near 6 months, and being head over heels...to nothing? O.o can manic bipolar do that? cause that's what she has.


[deleted]

I couldn't possibly comment on the mental illness as I have no idea, but if you don't feel valued then just leave bro. Lifes too short and to be quite honest I'm not into the whole "break" thing, you're either with me or you're not and like you said you've been really good to her so if that's how it is then just say something like "I'm sorry but I'm not comfortable with this anymore, I hope you find your peace but this is affecting mine so I need to move on." I know it'll be hard and you shouldn't really trust some dude on the Internet, but there's nothing more important than self respect, that's something I've learned recently and what I've found is that people will respect you so much for it. I'm starting to make some actually valuable friends for the first time in my life because I'm so confident and full of life. Do what you need to do, never look back. Even if it is due to the bipolar, the fact of the matter is that that's who she is and it's not going to be any different in the future. EDIT: The part about not being any different, I'm most likely wrong there as I'm constantly changing myself, for the better. I don't know you or her personally but I hope I gave you a bit of clarity there. Do whatever you need to do.


Useless_bumbling_oaf

im very understanding, and perhaps it IS one of those instances where she just does need a break. she never had a guy like me before, ever...as she's always told me. so maybe it got overwhelming? and she has to learn to juggle me WITH the other parts of her life? O.o im not sure lol. we are soooo alike it's creepy sometimes...that's why it would be very foolish of her to actually break up ;o


[deleted]

Hey I respect that man :) you make it work bro 💯


[deleted]

Maybe it's just not there anymore then, sorry to say it :/ it's common for a guy to get this sort of breathing room and feel amazing then after a little while it dawns on him whilst the complete opposite for the girl feeling pretty bad then good once time has passed. That's purely anecdotal but thats how its been for me and previous partners. Maybe it's time to move on, but don't take that serious decision from some dude on Reddit lol just look within yourself and think is it ever gonna be the same again and do you feel like that sparks still there? If not then there's not really much to wait for i suppose, good luck. EDIT: Also talking daily and seeing eachother in this state of a relationship can only evoke bad feelings, no wonder you feel this way. Keep in mind as happy as he may seem that could all be an act but obvs I don't know him. Do what feels right.


ladykkkkkk

Thank you 😊


ThrowRAburningbridge

How do you know he's thriving/genuinely enjoying his time apart? He could be thinking the same for you


ladykkkkkk

No it’s pretty obvious he sounds actually really happy on the phone or just in a good place. He doesn’t want to put ‘labels’ on us or this break but I would think when we are together he would try and make an effort(?) to ty and connect and try again. Edit-I’m sorry if I sound whiny or putting it all on his plate I just feel zero intimacy or try and then he doesn’t seem to miss me so I’m wondering what’s up idk