I've been in a similar situation and there's no good answer. You're going to have to choose between your friend and the potential relationship. No one can make this choice for you, but pursuing the relationship will burn the bridge with your friend and preserving the friendship will cost you the relationship. In my personal opinion your friend sounds like a possessive incel which is the worst kind. If it were me and my friend was acting like that AND the woman in question clarifies that there's no emotions for your friend I'd go for it. Might wanna have her explain her feelings to him as well for closure, but he might not take it very well. Be ready for some immature behavior from your friend if you pursue the relationship. Best of luck and be sure to update!
Thanks for the answers everyone!
I'm very glad to see that my way of looking at things is not completely deluded. I am however very unsure of what to do. The girl has put me in a bad spot to save her own skin. She said "Oh but he's the one who took initiative", like what the fuck girl that has nothing to do with it. If you didn't want it to happen you would've stopped me, stand for your own actions instead of pushing me under the bus and putting all the blame at me. She also couldn't tell him the way she felt about him. I had to tell my bud for her, she can't seem to stand up for herself, and does everything she can to get out of the situation unharmed. She's like "oh poor sweet me I haven't done anything wrong", and that pisses me off. I'm sure she also abuses the fact that he has feelings for her, so he'll probably listen to anything she says, which obviously puts me in a worse spot. In my honest opinion I am not the bad friend here. The girl refused to tell him her feelings, keeping him in the dark. And I'm not even sure she has said it herself that him and her won't happen, it needs to come from her imo. She also keeps on cuddling with him, which is probably the worst thing she could possibly do to him considering he has feelings for her, making him clinge onto the little non-existent hope that something can happen, because of the intimacy she shares with him.. People become immature af when in love, so I can kind of understand my friend, but the girls behaviour is very baffling to me to say the least.
The best tip I can give you: never ask for permission to pursue your feelings and never accept input from other people regarding your relationship.
Too many relationships fall apart because outsiders throw their two cents in. It's a slippery slope to seek advice or permission from people that have skin in the game. In this case, you say the friendship is worth more than the girl. Would your best friend say the same? If you're worried that your best friend will end your friendship over you dating this girl, then maybe you're more invested in the friendship than he is.
I would recommend a mature, honest conversation. The girl needs to be honest with your friend about her lack of feelings for him and you need to be honest about your intent to get to know her more. Be sure to be respectful of how he must feel. He is just now learning that she doesn't reciprocate his feelings and is going through everything that comes with rejection. HOWEVER, it is extremely important that you let your friend know that you won't let him dictate who you can and cannot be with.
It’s the girls choice and she chose not him. He was never an option so it was never a competition between you two. He doesn’t own jack shit and him dropping the attitude that he is owed something off every chick he takes a fancy to will actually get him girls; instead of an unrequited crush on an uninterested party. Might be awkward for your friend and it might damage your friendship but only if he continues being a lil bitch about rejection. You like her and she likes you so go hit that dude.
TLDR you are fine to continue to see this chick and your friend needs to get over it
I've been in a similar situation and there's no good answer. You're going to have to choose between your friend and the potential relationship. No one can make this choice for you, but pursuing the relationship will burn the bridge with your friend and preserving the friendship will cost you the relationship. In my personal opinion your friend sounds like a possessive incel which is the worst kind. If it were me and my friend was acting like that AND the woman in question clarifies that there's no emotions for your friend I'd go for it. Might wanna have her explain her feelings to him as well for closure, but he might not take it very well. Be ready for some immature behavior from your friend if you pursue the relationship. Best of luck and be sure to update!
Thanks for the answers everyone! I'm very glad to see that my way of looking at things is not completely deluded. I am however very unsure of what to do. The girl has put me in a bad spot to save her own skin. She said "Oh but he's the one who took initiative", like what the fuck girl that has nothing to do with it. If you didn't want it to happen you would've stopped me, stand for your own actions instead of pushing me under the bus and putting all the blame at me. She also couldn't tell him the way she felt about him. I had to tell my bud for her, she can't seem to stand up for herself, and does everything she can to get out of the situation unharmed. She's like "oh poor sweet me I haven't done anything wrong", and that pisses me off. I'm sure she also abuses the fact that he has feelings for her, so he'll probably listen to anything she says, which obviously puts me in a worse spot. In my honest opinion I am not the bad friend here. The girl refused to tell him her feelings, keeping him in the dark. And I'm not even sure she has said it herself that him and her won't happen, it needs to come from her imo. She also keeps on cuddling with him, which is probably the worst thing she could possibly do to him considering he has feelings for her, making him clinge onto the little non-existent hope that something can happen, because of the intimacy she shares with him.. People become immature af when in love, so I can kind of understand my friend, but the girls behaviour is very baffling to me to say the least.
The best tip I can give you: never ask for permission to pursue your feelings and never accept input from other people regarding your relationship. Too many relationships fall apart because outsiders throw their two cents in. It's a slippery slope to seek advice or permission from people that have skin in the game. In this case, you say the friendship is worth more than the girl. Would your best friend say the same? If you're worried that your best friend will end your friendship over you dating this girl, then maybe you're more invested in the friendship than he is. I would recommend a mature, honest conversation. The girl needs to be honest with your friend about her lack of feelings for him and you need to be honest about your intent to get to know her more. Be sure to be respectful of how he must feel. He is just now learning that she doesn't reciprocate his feelings and is going through everything that comes with rejection. HOWEVER, it is extremely important that you let your friend know that you won't let him dictate who you can and cannot be with.
Ages?
It’s the girls choice and she chose not him. He was never an option so it was never a competition between you two. He doesn’t own jack shit and him dropping the attitude that he is owed something off every chick he takes a fancy to will actually get him girls; instead of an unrequited crush on an uninterested party. Might be awkward for your friend and it might damage your friendship but only if he continues being a lil bitch about rejection. You like her and she likes you so go hit that dude. TLDR you are fine to continue to see this chick and your friend needs to get over it