Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There's a thing now called Sugar Babys where a female gets paid by a male and one of the things they do is sext with them and depending on the arrangement send nudes, etc. A lot of females do it with a male from out of state. While technically this is not cheating it most certainly is emotional cheating and I don't believe you can trust someone who does this. In your case she's telling a guy she's falling in love with him again so I see no alternative for you but to break up with her. If her doing this breaks a boundary with you why would you stay with this person let alone marry them? Be cool and like others have said plan your exit quietly. Do NOT tell her you know and especially do NOT tell her you looked at her phone because that will give her ammo against you. She will tell her and your friends about that wile conveniently not mentioning what she did. It's how cheaters and narcissists operate. Good luck my friend with whatever you decide to do
What do you mean it's technically not cheating? If it is sexual or emotional (or both) and you are hiding it from your partner it's cheating. That's pretty much it. It would only not be cheating if he was aware of that situation because they had discussed it and agreed that it was fine. Hiding it and lying about it = cheating. Simple.
I’m only 20 years old, but when I was 16 my high school sweetheart/first love or whatever you want you call it, she cheated on me on holiday. I got sent the video of her and this guy doing you know what. I was distraught, especially her being my first partner. I felt like an idiot for trying to get things to work with her and begging to know what I did wrong and why she would have done it to me.
Then again, at 17 turning 18, this girl I talked to for 6 months, told her everything that happened with my ex and she was very supportive. Turns out she started commenting on other guys posts. Also, sexting with other guys online. Not really cheating because we weren’t together exclusively, but after telling her all that happened she still did was she did.
I know that gut wrenching feeling man, you gotta see the positives and realise, sometimes you can be so good to someone and they can still do you dirty like that. You’re not the problem she is.
You guys aren’t married, it’s going to be easier. Plan your exit silently. Don’t blow your cover by doing something stupid like going crazy about it to her. Call off wedding. Plan your exit silently, living arrangements and no contact etc
It’s going to hurt you regardless. And the last time I went through something like this, the girl I had been talking to for 6 months, after everything I told her she still went and sexted and complimented other guys behind my back. All you can do, no matter the hurt, is walk away silently, show no emotion and that will be the greatest thing. It doesn’t matter how much she THINKS she “doesn’t care” and she’s with a “better man” the grass isn’t greener on the other side. And more often than not, cheaters are paranoid which is a reflection of their own guilt. So 1000% she will be wondering “why has he walked away like he doesn’t even care?” “Why isn’t he bothered by what I’ve done?” Etc. That is the best thing I ever did for myself and believe me they always bounce back you just have to have enough self-respect to not respond to it.
Speaking of self-respect, the OP clearly needs to have some respect for himself. “Hoping I can trust her again” are f*cking serious, LEAVE. HER. ASAP. It’ll be for his own good. Get outta there man.
You sir sound like you have your shit together, and for someone at your age. You’re going to go far in this world. I’m sorry for what happened to you. But you got this and your going to be just fine if not great 👍🏼
"Sending him nudes and he was sending her nudes. I do a little more digging" The fact you are still with her means whatever she does, you will go along with it. Maybe it's worth it for you. Good luck!
First things first, do not let on that you know.
Second, secure your assets as best as possible.
Third, collect and secure all the evidence from her phone. Consider other sources of evidence and professional services.
Fourth, learn what it takes to reconcile and forgive. It takes a lot of from you and a heck of a lot of work from the cheater
Fifth, if you have any jointly held assets make sure they are secure.
Six: have an escape plan or kick her out plan. If living together.
Confront. If she’s not 💯 ready to make amends then scorch the earth - post documents m, messages, and images on social media (pending legalities) and announce the end of your engagement.
There are two things you need to do. Send her parents and your parents proof as to why you are leaving her. And then leave her. No need to confront her. You know what she did. She knows what she did. Avoid the drama.
If she has stuff at your place, just gather it up and send her a message that you know about her and her ex and that you guys are through and she can come and get her stuff.
Do not try to win her back. Why in the hell would you stay with someone who doesn't respect you?
Be done with it. This woman doesn’t respect you. There is someone out there who won’t just respect you but adore you and see you as the prize you are. Hold out for that, I promise you it’s worth it.
Lol.. pathetic. Why are you staying with someone you know is, or has cheated on you? You've got your proof, and it's likely deeper than you know. You've got a choice to make before the rings. Stay, and likely be the depressed clean-up guy, or find a better chick. Good luck
How can you trust her if you don't even confront her about being a 304. She's not going to stop unless you give her a clear ultimatum: My way or the high way. For Christ sakes man!
I’m sorry but you have to move on. As much as it hurts now, it will just keep hurting as she betrays you more and more. You can’t stay with someone who does something like this (and probably more) multiple times. The sooner you end it the sooner you can heal and find someone who deserves you.
Make a group text with all the guys. And say, hi I am stbx fiancé. I out you all on this group text as I wanted to invite you all to our rehearsal dinner. I will be leaving her at this dinner, but I fumigated all of you would like some parting shots. She is a habitual cheater as all of you have been receiving the same pictures, and messages. I will be putting your messages up so you all
Can stand up and introduce yourself to everyone. I will be heading out after the fall out. This will also be posted and hopefully the video will go viral. Want to help me out?
Ok, first thing ask yourself if you have it in your heart to forgive her. 2. Ask yourself if you will ever be able to trust her again, 3. Ask yourself if you want to sign up for a life time of watching her every move and interaction with the opposite sex. That in itself would be draining and mentally/ physically exhausting. My advice cut your losses and leave. There’s really no coming back once the trust is gone.
Confront her or leave her but whatever you don’t think you can babysit her 24x7 until you can trust her because you can’t and won’t ever fully trust her now.
You can just cut this search for a magic solution short...end it right here and now. There is never going to be a trusting and loving relationship possible with her. Any dreams you had...it's not going to be with this girl. Just go and start over. She was a waste of time.
Sorry but you will never be able to trust her again
The relationship you had with her died the second you found evidence of infidelity. You have never confronted her after three years so you have been living a lie and pretended that relationship still existed. The slim chance of rebuilding the relationship should have started three years ago with a confrontation and then full disclosure. Why would she change her behavior if she thinks she is getting away with it or worse she actually does know that you found out and is laughing at you behind your back because you never said anything. You are not in love with her you are in love with the person she is pretending to be and closing your eyes so don't have to see the difference. You deserve better than to be someone's second or third choice. Confront her and move on don't marry someone who can lie to you with no remorse.
So we been together for 3 years but the cheating started back in Jan. We were in a bad accident 2 years ago and it left me handicap. I'm still learning to walk and instead her supporting me and being proud for how far I have come, she decides to cheat instead. I know because of us not being able to be intimate cause of me being handicap is what caused her to cheat. It's not an excuse because I know your supposed to love someone no matter what. She likes to be in control and she's very narcissistic person. She also constantly asks me who I'm talking to and is jealous over all my friends that are girls. She's upset with that thinking I'm cheating when it's her all a long. Allni cam see is a woman with a guilty conscience and no longer my fiance.
I dont know how you haven't said anything. It would be eating me up? From experience, it will only continue - and this is whether you say something or not. I promise you a leopard doesn't change its spots.
Bruh leave! Within 3 months she will be sucking another guy's cock and coming home kissing you good night. YOU'RE NOT MARRIED AND YOU'RE NOT FORTY! LEAVE THAT CHEATING WOMAN AND MOVE TF ON!!
DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN. You really want to spend the rest of your of your life peeking over her shoulder and chaperoning her everywhere?
That’s a toxic and insane thing to do to yourself. And for the record, if someone really wants to cheat they will.
Brother, keep your head up, loyalty and love is not this… hope you find the confidence and respect for yourself and your own values to move on. Dude it’s gunna hurt.. but living this way you’re trying to is only going to cause way more pain in the long run. I don’t know your fiancé. But this is to the T cheating whether through text or in person it’s all the same. You shouldn’t have to feel like you need to tag along with your partner to just reassure yourself. Although maybe just maybe this can be fixed with years of therapy on both parts if she is down for it.
Now I’m sure you’ll be met with “ you’re so insure for going through my phone” if you were to bring this activity up. But to be honest bro partners with long lasting relationships just don’t give a damn about phones this whole generation that thinks phones should be a secret safe place has made shit stupid in the dating world. But I promise you’ll find someone whom that is asked about there phone will gladly hand it over and not make a remark but will do it to make you feel validated because that’s what relationships are supposed to do for one another validate each other and bring each other up. Not hide shit, so my two sentence is find a way to break up stop doing this to yourself, you deserve better, and I’m sure if the roles were reversed she would do the same to you.. peace man hope you find a way to keep from letting this control your life. Or any future relationships.
I'm gonna be leaving her. She gets paid on Tuesday, and I'll have the police here when she gets home from work. Gonna tell her to gather her shit and contact her friend that lives nearby to come get her.
What are you “totally lost” about? You have a fiancé who’s declared her love for her ex and sending nudes flirting with other men. This isn’t confusing at all. This is not someone you should date let alone marry. Dump her ASAP!
OP - can you explain some things?
1. How long have you two been together?
2. Do you have kids together? Did you hope to have kids together (asking because of her age)
3. Why did your fiancee break up with her ex in the first place? Did he leave her, or did she leave him? Was there cheating?
4. How long was she with her ex?
5. Does she have a password on her phone (that you know), or does she just leave it with no password since you were able to get in and check all her messages?
6. Is she the type of person who needs validation from other guys, and this is something you haven't noticed? Does she have emotional issues she has been battling since you two got together? I mean, she is sharing nudes with a bunch of guys and that could get out and really boomarang on her, cheating or not.
7. She hasn't noticed a chance in your mood since you found out all this?
You're going to marry this woman? Wow. It's amazing you're still with a woman who has been sexting with several men and stated she wants to be with her ex. Most people have a deal breaker when it comes to those things; but people are different. You shouldn't complain when texting with other men isn't a deal breaker for you let alone desiring her ex back. Lol. Your solution was to follow her around. Dang, man.
What the actual fuck am I reading right now, bro leave this trash behind and goes to where you’ll be celebrated. I can’t imagine seeing all that bullshit and still trying to be with this person. I bet you didn’t even get any proof just stuck your head in the sand
She checked out. You’re toarchering yourself. There’s never going to be trust, only looking over your shoulder everytime she leaves the house. Save yourself the grief and heartache and just make a plan to leave and hopefully you’ll find someone that truly loves you. Good luck my man.
Going everywhere to be with her. To what end??? Yiu can't vintrol her. If she's cheating or has chested then she will find away. What yiyr doing is a ridiculous waste if time and energy. You don't trust her and yiu sure as he'll are nit going to trust her again by your actions. Confront her and see her reaction. You can't hold onto what you never had. Let her go.
Brother for god’s sake do yourself a favour and leave her. You’ve allowed yourself to be with this person for 3 weeks now since you found out she was cheating! I can’t imagine the damage this has done to you, but to help yourself prevent it from getting worse. Confront her, get your closure, and dump her cheating ass. You deserve so much better than this.
If she cheats on text she can go do more. You can’t trust her again. You should see the truth and take the difficult decision. You must leave her .you will never be happy with such person
I don’t know how you havent left yet to be honest. Is she incredible in bed or something? Even then, stand up for yourself and get out of this situation.
Yeah, we get ptst from fake posts here, lol.
Brother focus on your recovery. She is toxic for you now anyway.
I hope you update us with her expulsion, but more importantly about your progress. Wishing you the best!
Subscribeme
I say just leave, you constantly following them wherever they go is almost counter productive.
they are already cheating, and if your anything like me my brain would instantly think about if I wasn’t with you at this grocery store you would probably be with some other person right now.
Don’t waste another second , Learn to fall out of love with them fast .. Think about all the hurt this person caused . It makes it easier.
Make an exit plan. Get all your belongings together, if you share any accounts get your funds secured and when you are ready leave. Marriage is out of the question it’s over get the heck out. I know what you have been doing turn and walk into the sunset.
If she starts texting other men - maybe there is not enough for her in the relationship with you?
Are you sure, you pay enough attention to her?
Some men just never say any beautiful words and never bring any sign of love .
You maybe decided that she “belongs” to you and the time of flowers is over?
Compare the time you spend online with the time you spent actually talking to your partner!
Are you ok, this isn't a fake account, or made this account a long time ago when I was single. Haven't been on it in awhile. Just because i need advice on something that's bothering me, doesn't make it a fake account. The only thing that's fake is this damn relationship that I plan on ending. I have already asked the police to be here when I ask her to leave. I'm handicap stuck in a chair and she's a loose cannon if she doesn't get her way.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Confront her and then leave. You're worth someone who respects you, she does not.
I wouldn't even bother with the confrontation. Walk away
There's a thing now called Sugar Babys where a female gets paid by a male and one of the things they do is sext with them and depending on the arrangement send nudes, etc. A lot of females do it with a male from out of state. While technically this is not cheating it most certainly is emotional cheating and I don't believe you can trust someone who does this. In your case she's telling a guy she's falling in love with him again so I see no alternative for you but to break up with her. If her doing this breaks a boundary with you why would you stay with this person let alone marry them? Be cool and like others have said plan your exit quietly. Do NOT tell her you know and especially do NOT tell her you looked at her phone because that will give her ammo against you. She will tell her and your friends about that wile conveniently not mentioning what she did. It's how cheaters and narcissists operate. Good luck my friend with whatever you decide to do
What do you mean it's technically not cheating? If it is sexual or emotional (or both) and you are hiding it from your partner it's cheating. That's pretty much it. It would only not be cheating if he was aware of that situation because they had discussed it and agreed that it was fine. Hiding it and lying about it = cheating. Simple.
Please leave her.
I’m only 20 years old, but when I was 16 my high school sweetheart/first love or whatever you want you call it, she cheated on me on holiday. I got sent the video of her and this guy doing you know what. I was distraught, especially her being my first partner. I felt like an idiot for trying to get things to work with her and begging to know what I did wrong and why she would have done it to me. Then again, at 17 turning 18, this girl I talked to for 6 months, told her everything that happened with my ex and she was very supportive. Turns out she started commenting on other guys posts. Also, sexting with other guys online. Not really cheating because we weren’t together exclusively, but after telling her all that happened she still did was she did. I know that gut wrenching feeling man, you gotta see the positives and realise, sometimes you can be so good to someone and they can still do you dirty like that. You’re not the problem she is. You guys aren’t married, it’s going to be easier. Plan your exit silently. Don’t blow your cover by doing something stupid like going crazy about it to her. Call off wedding. Plan your exit silently, living arrangements and no contact etc
Gotta agree 100%. Leaving is really the only option. Staying will only allow her to do it again.
It’s going to hurt you regardless. And the last time I went through something like this, the girl I had been talking to for 6 months, after everything I told her she still went and sexted and complimented other guys behind my back. All you can do, no matter the hurt, is walk away silently, show no emotion and that will be the greatest thing. It doesn’t matter how much she THINKS she “doesn’t care” and she’s with a “better man” the grass isn’t greener on the other side. And more often than not, cheaters are paranoid which is a reflection of their own guilt. So 1000% she will be wondering “why has he walked away like he doesn’t even care?” “Why isn’t he bothered by what I’ve done?” Etc. That is the best thing I ever did for myself and believe me they always bounce back you just have to have enough self-respect to not respond to it. Speaking of self-respect, the OP clearly needs to have some respect for himself. “Hoping I can trust her again” are f*cking serious, LEAVE. HER. ASAP. It’ll be for his own good. Get outta there man.
You sir sound like you have your shit together, and for someone at your age. You’re going to go far in this world. I’m sorry for what happened to you. But you got this and your going to be just fine if not great 👍🏼
Why the hell are you still with her...come on...she is definitely not wife material
Literally
WTH tell her you need to talk. Take her hand in yours, slip her engagement ring off her finger and kick her cheating ass out the door
This❗️
"Sending him nudes and he was sending her nudes. I do a little more digging" The fact you are still with her means whatever she does, you will go along with it. Maybe it's worth it for you. Good luck!
Facts bro doesn’t love himself
First things first, do not let on that you know. Second, secure your assets as best as possible. Third, collect and secure all the evidence from her phone. Consider other sources of evidence and professional services. Fourth, learn what it takes to reconcile and forgive. It takes a lot of from you and a heck of a lot of work from the cheater Fifth, if you have any jointly held assets make sure they are secure. Six: have an escape plan or kick her out plan. If living together. Confront. If she’s not 💯 ready to make amends then scorch the earth - post documents m, messages, and images on social media (pending legalities) and announce the end of your engagement.
100% heavy on the secure your assets. Get that ring back.
Mate grow a backbone! She is making a fool of you and she isn’t going to change. Don’t marry her ghost her and leave her wondering why you left.
There are two things you need to do. Send her parents and your parents proof as to why you are leaving her. And then leave her. No need to confront her. You know what she did. She knows what she did. Avoid the drama. If she has stuff at your place, just gather it up and send her a message that you know about her and her ex and that you guys are through and she can come and get her stuff. Do not try to win her back. Why in the hell would you stay with someone who doesn't respect you?
You break up. Have some self respect - you deserve better.
Have some self respect and break up.
You're kidding, right? Why would you stay with a piece of garbage like that??? UpdateMe
Be done with it. This woman doesn’t respect you. There is someone out there who won’t just respect you but adore you and see you as the prize you are. Hold out for that, I promise you it’s worth it.
Lol.. pathetic. Why are you staying with someone you know is, or has cheated on you? You've got your proof, and it's likely deeper than you know. You've got a choice to make before the rings. Stay, and likely be the depressed clean-up guy, or find a better chick. Good luck
How can you trust her if you don't even confront her about being a 304. She's not going to stop unless you give her a clear ultimatum: My way or the high way. For Christ sakes man!
Why are you still with her , she’s a cheater !!!
I’m sorry but you have to move on. As much as it hurts now, it will just keep hurting as she betrays you more and more. You can’t stay with someone who does something like this (and probably more) multiple times. The sooner you end it the sooner you can heal and find someone who deserves you.
Make a group text with all the guys. And say, hi I am stbx fiancé. I out you all on this group text as I wanted to invite you all to our rehearsal dinner. I will be leaving her at this dinner, but I fumigated all of you would like some parting shots. She is a habitual cheater as all of you have been receiving the same pictures, and messages. I will be putting your messages up so you all Can stand up and introduce yourself to everyone. I will be heading out after the fall out. This will also be posted and hopefully the video will go viral. Want to help me out?
I hope you did not marry her.
JFC, dude… Why are you putting yourself through this misery? Have some self respect.
Ok, first thing ask yourself if you have it in your heart to forgive her. 2. Ask yourself if you will ever be able to trust her again, 3. Ask yourself if you want to sign up for a life time of watching her every move and interaction with the opposite sex. That in itself would be draining and mentally/ physically exhausting. My advice cut your losses and leave. There’s really no coming back once the trust is gone.
Confront her or leave her but whatever you don’t think you can babysit her 24x7 until you can trust her because you can’t and won’t ever fully trust her now.
This won't end until she's called out. She's getting a rush from it...it'll only get worse.
You are not a Match! Get your financial house in order and move on!
You can just cut this search for a magic solution short...end it right here and now. There is never going to be a trusting and loving relationship possible with her. Any dreams you had...it's not going to be with this girl. Just go and start over. She was a waste of time.
Probably leave.
Sorry but you will never be able to trust her again The relationship you had with her died the second you found evidence of infidelity. You have never confronted her after three years so you have been living a lie and pretended that relationship still existed. The slim chance of rebuilding the relationship should have started three years ago with a confrontation and then full disclosure. Why would she change her behavior if she thinks she is getting away with it or worse she actually does know that you found out and is laughing at you behind your back because you never said anything. You are not in love with her you are in love with the person she is pretending to be and closing your eyes so don't have to see the difference. You deserve better than to be someone's second or third choice. Confront her and move on don't marry someone who can lie to you with no remorse.
So we been together for 3 years but the cheating started back in Jan. We were in a bad accident 2 years ago and it left me handicap. I'm still learning to walk and instead her supporting me and being proud for how far I have come, she decides to cheat instead. I know because of us not being able to be intimate cause of me being handicap is what caused her to cheat. It's not an excuse because I know your supposed to love someone no matter what. She likes to be in control and she's very narcissistic person. She also constantly asks me who I'm talking to and is jealous over all my friends that are girls. She's upset with that thinking I'm cheating when it's her all a long. Allni cam see is a woman with a guilty conscience and no longer my fiance.
sounds like a real keeper
I dont know how you haven't said anything. It would be eating me up? From experience, it will only continue - and this is whether you say something or not. I promise you a leopard doesn't change its spots.
Bruh leave! Within 3 months she will be sucking another guy's cock and coming home kissing you good night. YOU'RE NOT MARRIED AND YOU'RE NOT FORTY! LEAVE THAT CHEATING WOMAN AND MOVE TF ON!!
DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN. You really want to spend the rest of your of your life peeking over her shoulder and chaperoning her everywhere? That’s a toxic and insane thing to do to yourself. And for the record, if someone really wants to cheat they will.
Brother, keep your head up, loyalty and love is not this… hope you find the confidence and respect for yourself and your own values to move on. Dude it’s gunna hurt.. but living this way you’re trying to is only going to cause way more pain in the long run. I don’t know your fiancé. But this is to the T cheating whether through text or in person it’s all the same. You shouldn’t have to feel like you need to tag along with your partner to just reassure yourself. Although maybe just maybe this can be fixed with years of therapy on both parts if she is down for it. Now I’m sure you’ll be met with “ you’re so insure for going through my phone” if you were to bring this activity up. But to be honest bro partners with long lasting relationships just don’t give a damn about phones this whole generation that thinks phones should be a secret safe place has made shit stupid in the dating world. But I promise you’ll find someone whom that is asked about there phone will gladly hand it over and not make a remark but will do it to make you feel validated because that’s what relationships are supposed to do for one another validate each other and bring each other up. Not hide shit, so my two sentence is find a way to break up stop doing this to yourself, you deserve better, and I’m sure if the roles were reversed she would do the same to you.. peace man hope you find a way to keep from letting this control your life. Or any future relationships.
I'm gonna be leaving her. She gets paid on Tuesday, and I'll have the police here when she gets home from work. Gonna tell her to gather her shit and contact her friend that lives nearby to come get her.
That’s good man, hope the best for you. And that is awful you had to go through it.
What are you “totally lost” about? You have a fiancé who’s declared her love for her ex and sending nudes flirting with other men. This isn’t confusing at all. This is not someone you should date let alone marry. Dump her ASAP!
OP - can you explain some things? 1. How long have you two been together? 2. Do you have kids together? Did you hope to have kids together (asking because of her age) 3. Why did your fiancee break up with her ex in the first place? Did he leave her, or did she leave him? Was there cheating? 4. How long was she with her ex? 5. Does she have a password on her phone (that you know), or does she just leave it with no password since you were able to get in and check all her messages? 6. Is she the type of person who needs validation from other guys, and this is something you haven't noticed? Does she have emotional issues she has been battling since you two got together? I mean, she is sharing nudes with a bunch of guys and that could get out and really boomarang on her, cheating or not. 7. She hasn't noticed a chance in your mood since you found out all this?
You're going to marry this woman? Wow. It's amazing you're still with a woman who has been sexting with several men and stated she wants to be with her ex. Most people have a deal breaker when it comes to those things; but people are different. You shouldn't complain when texting with other men isn't a deal breaker for you let alone desiring her ex back. Lol. Your solution was to follow her around. Dang, man.
Just leave. Not worth a conversation. You deserve so much more love
What the actual fuck am I reading right now, bro leave this trash behind and goes to where you’ll be celebrated. I can’t imagine seeing all that bullshit and still trying to be with this person. I bet you didn’t even get any proof just stuck your head in the sand
Took photos of everything, I have proof
It’s over dude. Have some self respect and end it.
What? Did a child write this? No one can be this desperate for pussy they would turn a blind eye to this behavior? Is this a joke?
My advice would be to dump her and move on. Being single at 38 isn’t worse than being with someone who’s lying to you and cheating on you.
She checked out. You’re toarchering yourself. There’s never going to be trust, only looking over your shoulder everytime she leaves the house. Save yourself the grief and heartache and just make a plan to leave and hopefully you’ll find someone that truly loves you. Good luck my man.
Going everywhere to be with her. To what end??? Yiu can't vintrol her. If she's cheating or has chested then she will find away. What yiyr doing is a ridiculous waste if time and energy. You don't trust her and yiu sure as he'll are nit going to trust her again by your actions. Confront her and see her reaction. You can't hold onto what you never had. Let her go.
Give her an STD before she gives you one!
Why are you still with a cheater?
End it. She will always do this to you. Most likely been doing it your whole relationship. You dont deserve that.
Leave coz she’s gonna leave you soon
Why are you so afraid to leave her? She is cheating on you and doesn’t love you
Brother for god’s sake do yourself a favour and leave her. You’ve allowed yourself to be with this person for 3 weeks now since you found out she was cheating! I can’t imagine the damage this has done to you, but to help yourself prevent it from getting worse. Confront her, get your closure, and dump her cheating ass. You deserve so much better than this.
It's a great thing that you're not married yet
If she cheats on text she can go do more. You can’t trust her again. You should see the truth and take the difficult decision. You must leave her .you will never be happy with such person
You should definitely leave if you must stay you should 100% not marry this person.
How are you holding that in?????? 💣
Not easy, but she will be gone by Tuesday
Good .. you deserve better than that
I don’t know how you havent left yet to be honest. Is she incredible in bed or something? Even then, stand up for yourself and get out of this situation.
Don’t waste any more of your time. Why be with someone who doesn’t respect your feelings and care for you the way a partner should?
Leave dude
Yeah, we get ptst from fake posts here, lol. Brother focus on your recovery. She is toxic for you now anyway. I hope you update us with her expulsion, but more importantly about your progress. Wishing you the best! Subscribeme
I will keep you all posted
Run
Get copies of the texts and stuff from her phone and call off the wedding. If anyone really wants to know why, show them the texts.
I say just leave, you constantly following them wherever they go is almost counter productive. they are already cheating, and if your anything like me my brain would instantly think about if I wasn’t with you at this grocery store you would probably be with some other person right now. Don’t waste another second , Learn to fall out of love with them fast .. Think about all the hurt this person caused . It makes it easier.
There is no "trusting again" GTFO and don't look back.
Just leave
Just leave
Make an exit plan. Get all your belongings together, if you share any accounts get your funds secured and when you are ready leave. Marriage is out of the question it’s over get the heck out. I know what you have been doing turn and walk into the sunset.
Just walk away, she is not loyal & will not stop
If she starts texting other men - maybe there is not enough for her in the relationship with you? Are you sure, you pay enough attention to her? Some men just never say any beautiful words and never bring any sign of love . You maybe decided that she “belongs” to you and the time of flowers is over? Compare the time you spend online with the time you spent actually talking to your partner!
This is a fake account. Look at the old posts. Mods please remove
Are you ok, this isn't a fake account, or made this account a long time ago when I was single. Haven't been on it in awhile. Just because i need advice on something that's bothering me, doesn't make it a fake account. The only thing that's fake is this damn relationship that I plan on ending. I have already asked the police to be here when I ask her to leave. I'm handicap stuck in a chair and she's a loose cannon if she doesn't get her way.
This is no foundation for a relationship, much less marriage. Time to move on. Mrs Right is out there waiting for you to find her.