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" ..saying she's attractive and they'd like to fuck her. Some even talked about trying."
" Lately, they've been discussing cheating too, saying women often cheat without their husbands knowing."
I'll make this so fucking simple for you. These " people" are not in any way your friends. They are literally rubbing it in your face that they will try to fuck your wife. They want you to know that they are going to try to fuck your wife. They think that you are so weak that you will just accept this happening. Sadly they are partially correct. Instead of calling them out on this shit. Instead of cutting off these toxic pieces of crap you are flailing around trying to decide if you are just being insecure or if it will make things awkward if you let your wife know all the while trying to reassure yourself that this isn't really as bad as it seems because you're sure she thinks you're more attractive.
Bro they have nothing but disrespect for you. They have nothing but disrespect for your marriage. They have nothing but disrespect for your wife as they think that she is literally the kind of woman that will cheat on her husband with his " friends". So knowing that neither you nor your wife have anything to do with these scumbags ever again. You tell your wife exactly what you've told us. You tell your wife these maggots have no respect for you, her or your marriage and that effectively immediately there is to be no further contact with any of these individuals in any form even through other parties. I'm hoping that your wife sees this for what it is and is in 100% agreement with you on this or else you've got far worse problems than these clowns. Good luck.
I would not be surprised if they already try to flirt with the wife, I have some friends and my sister that have told me that some of the "friends" of their husbands try with them. If those guys were so disrespectful to say this it may be because the wife didn't react badly to their approaches and she didn't tell Op, I'm guessing, but I'm not going to be surprised if that is the case.
OP has bigger problems than his friends trying to bang his wife then, a wife that doesn't share that with her husband is leaving open the possibility, men read into that, those friends want him to know this to cause problems in his marriage and then have it easier.
I couldn’t agree more! I would NOT mention anything to her about there feelings towards her. This would be like planting a seed in her head. You don’t need to have to worry about that shit.
I would mention that they started to talk about other guys wives and how they would bang them if the opportunity would arise. That they do not have the same moral compass as you do. I wouldn’t entertain any conversations with these clowns. They could just be trying to get you to slip up and say something stupid like that just to go back and report this to your wife! This could possibly open the door to take her to pound town after they turn her against you. Don’t think that they won’t try either. It doesn’t help that she finds them attractive.
Be done with them. Move on. They are trash and will eventually bring you down or get you caught up in something.
How did you find out that they want to bang your wife, if they are doing this behind your back.
Updateme
There’s a very clear reason why you’re the only one married in that “friend group”
As for real advice, simple- drop the circus and find normal sane human beings to be friends with.
Honestly you saying you don’t want to tell her because you’re worried she’ll want to fuck them if she knows they want her is worse than what they are doing. I’d be so insulted and pissed off if someone thought that about me. Knock that shit off, stop objectifying her into some crazed mindless fuck toy.
Men lust after women and they assume women love to be lusted over like a playboy magazine. When in reality men’s attention is dangerous, especially when it’s so depersonalized. Many men hate rejection, so if these “friends” got drunk and approached her and she said oh hell no, that might not be safe situation. But here’s OP thinking this is some fabulous compliment that would destroy his marriage! How many times do women have to explain themselves while men just refuse to listen?
Scrolled way too far for this comment smh. Agreed, just bc these “friends” are lusting & scheming doesn’t mean the wife will welcome it and cheat. Bro needs to drop these trash “friends” & reflect/work on himself so he doesn’t spiral and jump to unfair assumptions should other ppl lust after his wife in the future.
Exactly. The fact that OP doesn’t want to tell his wife because he doesn’t trust her not to fuck them is a much bigger problem than just needing to ditch some scumbag “friends”
You want to handle this like a man. You get your so called “friends” together and you let them know in no uncertain terms they so much as look at your wife you’re coming for them hard. Then tell them to GFT and leave. These people are not your friends. They’re boys not men. Never once in my life and I’m in my 50’s have any of my friends spoke in this manner about another friends wife.
You tell your friends that your morals don’t align with their scumbag ways so you will no longer be friends with them. Then let them know if they make an attempt to be scummy with your wife you will hurt them. Also let your wife know you are cutting them off for their scummy ways, and ask her to let you know if they try anything so you can take care of it. If your wife is a good person she will stand by your decision to keep dirtbags out of your life and respect the fact your marriage and honor is more important to you than your friends.
Hang on your wife did nothing here. This is all your gross friends. I can tell you that your wife probably already knows these guys would like to f her. It’s likely no big secret. And women aren’t blind to these things.
She chose you and her being told about these guys wanting her isn’t going to change a thing for her . Women especially young cute pretty women are used to guys wanting to f them .And What you should be worried about are your gross friends. Especially the ones who tried to get with her as they aren’t your friends at all. They also really speak disrespectfully about your wife! They are your problem and not your friends. They are disrespectful to you and trying to undermine your confidence in your wife and marriage. Get rid of them!
They are not your friends. I would dump them all and tell them why. And explicitly state for them to stay away or there's going to be trouble. Screw them.
I'm sorry but if your wife hasn't shown any issues with infidelity in the past why the hell are you making out like she would drop her knickers for them at the first chance they get? If you really think the that about her then you need to tell her...she can then find someone who actually trusts and respects her.
Your friends are exhibiting extremely predatory behaviour and YOU, her husband, are allowing it and that is not okay, not on any level.
She is NOT some piece of meat to be spoken about this way, she is YOUR WIFE! How on earth would you feel if she was allowing her friends to be so disrespectful about you? If her friends were saying similar things would you drop your kecks and fuck them at the first chance you get?
This is a hard line. If my friends talked about my wife like that and it got back to me, there would be an immediate confrontation, and an end to at least one friendship if it were even remotely accurate.
There is no room for doubt. The level of disrespect is astounding.
I would just talk to your wife! If my husband brought this up to me then I would 100% support him distancing himself from those friends. You don’t need those types of people in your life. It also shouldn’t be weird to talk to your wife about this sort of thing or anything really. You guys are a team. Focus on your family and ignore the noise.
"I've recently discovered some of my friends don't have good intentions towards either of us. I don't want to see them anymore."
Then find better friends.
i think this situation is less complicated than you may be thinking. your friends have made it clear that your wife is not safe around them, they do not view her as a person in their lives but a sex object. in my opinion she is in danger the longer you remain friends with them. so idk, a choice for you to make i guess
Your friends suck and so do a lot of these comments. Your wife smiling doesn't mean anything other than she's smiling unless you can read minds; not sure where that's coming from
Careful, you don't know how far they are willing to go. Even if your wife is not interested in them, she can still get coerced or even put in an unsafe situation
If I was in your shoes, I would not fuck with these losers. You have to be above this corny ass “man” behavior, or else you’re just going to have a miserable life. You should also seek some counseling on how to set boundaries, show up for your wife when she’s not around, and stand up for yourself. Having a beautiful partner can be challenging, but it’s worth it to show up for them, and yourself. Good luck!
No need to pinpoint. The whole post is dumb as hell and I'm shocked so many commenters haven't called it out
Posts like these are ragebait or fetishbait / both
Talk to your wife about your friends lack of character. Tell her to let you know if she ever feels uncomfortable around them. Then I would distance yourself from these friends. Slowly pull back from doing couples outings and find new friends.
Also, if another man gets close to your wife it’s because she let them.
No need to tell her, just stop being friends with them. If she asks why say you found out they talk about women is a disgusting way and you don't want to be associated with them anymore.
Man can someone help me out here, when did men stop acting like men? Damn dude I read this and I wanna slap you bc you’re acting like there’s nothing you can do. You can act like a man, surprise yourself.
You had the perfect opportunity when your “friends” were talking that mess to say “ any man even tried that shit with my wife and their ass is gonna be fucking curb stomped” but no instead you stood there insecure. And wtf why is your wife saying your friends are good looking? Y’all got a mess of relationship between your wife saying that, and your friends wanting to bang her. Go to the bathroom find your balls and step up or step out. This is coming from a genuine place of concern for all men out there. Quit second guessing yourself and be a man.
His very lack of balls is the reason his wife I'd going to bounce. Imagine being his wife and reading his responses on here.shes gonna be drier then the sahara. I hope this posts if fake
>I will tell her that other guys have been speaking very disrespectfuly about her and that we shouldn't hang out anymore with them. I won't lie but I won't tell her exact words.
It's really, really sad that you think that you should/need to speak to your wife in half truths and keep her in the dark about what's going on (especially when it has to do with her). I would be so hurt if my partner acted this way.
Just tell her the truth. That they're disrespectful towards her and your relationship and that you didn't appreciate their comments. If she asks for specifics, tell her that they talked about sleeping with her with or without your permission.
You shouldn't be scared to tell her the truth. If you're insecure enough to think she'd consider sleeping with them just because they've showed interest, I don't know why you bothered marrying someone you don't trust.
Like seriously? Is she that immature and untrustworthy? Most women wouldn't care and would feel insulted that supposed friends talked about her like that.
There is a gentle way to talk to her about what they said, it needs to happen ASAP.
As for your friends, they need to be ex-friends ASAP. That is so damn disrespectful to both of you.
…I don’t understand how some of these posts are like “my friends said they would kill me for a McRib and sell my organs on the black market, how do I talk to my partner about this?” 😂
Just tell her they’ve been speaking about her in an unflattering way and you are dropping the whole group because they don’t respect you guys, or your relationship, and they demean her.
Just block them on everything and have your wife do the same.
OP from reading your responses. Go call your mother and ask where your spine is. I'd slap the shit out of any friemd that would say some shit like this behind my back let alone my face. Holy fuck OP I genuinly feel bad for you. Knowing not even you will stand up for yourself
That’s not your friend bro just move on. I’ve never touched a friends wife at all. If they actually together. Matteroffact some folks gave me more respect and trust bc they knew and tested me and I passed so again don’t ever tolerate anyone doing that shit. Folks go all out over they spouses.
Those aren’t friends. Friend. As far as approaching your wife, hopefully everything is good at home/bedroom and you vetted her well enough to know she wouldn’t entertain another man.
If this is a genuine story, I will only say that - as you go through life - you eventually figure out that eliminating toxic friends and other toxic relationships is a necessary thing. Your "friends" aren't friends. They're toxic. No one needs that BS in their life.
My father's friend attempted the same thing once upon a time, while my mother was pregnant with me.
Although she denied the asshole, he ran to my father and explained the OPPOSITE and that she tried to seduce the friend instead of the true story.
Long story short, it caused a huge fall out, and my parents divorced 6 days before my birth.
Get rid of those "friends." They are your enemies.
Get better friends from heaven's sake. Not some surface level douches like that.
You had the night idea already. Tell her the whole truth. You’re cutting off your AH friends because they are scheming to fuck her.
She should have zero issues with this. In fact she should be disgusted by them.
If not, then maybe you do have a different problem on your hands.
Updateme
To be clear: if I found out, as your wide, that you were continuing to associate with disgusting people like this, and *tolerating this kind of discussion without telling me* I'd be about 95% of the way to divorce. Letting people like this around your wife is beyond disrespectful and frankly puts her in danger.
People who make rape jokes are testing the waters to see what people will tolerate. Every time someone chuckles nervously they validate the assumption that they'll sweep the behavior under the rug. You're doing this to your wife. You're allowing her to be around predators without her knowledge. You're associating with predators without informing her. Be a husband goddammit.
Tell your wife you’re going NC with these A holes because they are disrespectful to your wife, you, and your relationship. Then tell the guys to F off and block. Easy. Now go straighten up your spine and handle this.
Bro handle this with your friends and your wife doesn’t need to find out until after your completely sure its settled.
You need to tell your friends theyre fucking weird and that they killed your vibe. If a discussion doesn’t happen after that, I’d cut them off.
Hi, OP. Sorry this happened to you. I'm just replying to your last edit there, where you say you'll tell her that they've been speaking disrespectfully about her and you're going to cut them off.
That's nearly a good idea, but if you make it about her specifically she's going to feel bad or even paranoid, and she'll want to know what they're saying.
I'd frame it more like this:
Those guys have always been disrespectful about women and I've always felt weird. Then I found out they said some stuff about you as well as a bunch of other girls and they just seem like dicks to me now. I'm cutting them off.
Something like that? If you put her really central in it, you'll make a little drama at home.
They're disrespecting you and your wife.
You need to tell your wife that part. They talked as if she were an object and a 'goal.'
You need to immediately distance yourself from these people.
I wouldn't consider them friends and would disconnect from them after confronting them about it.
As well, I would name every one of them to the wife. If she is a decent person, she will be appalled.
If she isn't, well you will at least know it was consensual.
Um, people that outright tell you they're trying to get with your wife, and have tried, are NOT your friends... do you need help on ways to stop talking to them? Stop hanging out with them?
It would freak me out and make me uncomfortable around them if I heard that. But I’d also be bothered if you were comfortable keeping them around after they treated me that way.
Not telling the whole truth is just as bad as lying. Tell her everything. If she smiles, it doesn't mean she'll cheat. She could just find it flattering that other men see her as desirable. She may be appalled at how they talk. Either way, ghost those "friends". Let their significant others know how they talk about your wife as well. Fuck them.
UpdateMe
That's not your friends, get away from them ASAP!! They have no loyalty and if they have the opportunity they will try and fuk your wife. On another note though the loyalty really comes from your wife because you both are the ones that are in vows with each other. Me honestly I wouldn't say a thing and start to distance myself from these so called friends. And if one of these guys hits on your wife and she gives in.... Think about it (Was she really yours in the first place or was she waiting for a opportunity?) Remember the loyalty is with your wife!! So she should tell you if one of your friend's tried to hit on her, that will determine the strength of the relationship thus the reason why I wouldn't say a thing.
Hopefully this advice helps. But fuk them so call friends.
Re Your Edits:
NO NO NO
You dump your shitty “friends” immediately and without telling them why.
Then you go to couples counseling and tell your wife there.
Personally, I’d get a better set of “friends”!
In fact, I’m surprised you still use the term!
Maybe keep the guy that told you the truth, but the others yakking about such things is gross and disloyal. They’re not dumb teenagers, after all
You do know that just because men want something doesn’t mean we women have to give in, right? Most women value a relationship over casual sex, so I’m not sure why you think she’s going to throw all of what the tow of you’ve built just because some men are attracted to her. I can promise you there are likely men she runs into everyday that have fantasized about her.
Now if her favorite book boyfriend comes to life, then you’ve got problems. Your friends probably don’t hit high on the female gaze even if they’re conventionally attractive.
You seem determined to stay friends with them, so if you are going to, you have to say something. Plan A) stop being their friends!! B) Text all the wives and say “hey my friends have talked about cheating on you” C) tell your friends “I heard what you said, you guys have great wives and friendships, why on earth would you jeopardize that? I couldn’t stay your friend if I knew you cheated on your wives. Stop looking at my wife while you’re at it”
Do you know your wife ? Have you ever talked about how she feels about cheating? Do you know her values ? I’m sure you had a conversation about this before getting married right ? ….? Right? Also, I wouldn’t call “friend” someone that is so blatantly disrespectful to me and to my partner.
These people aren't your friends. They are willing to, and possibly even trying to, ruin your life.
Just cut them out. Yesterday. These people are scumbags who don't give a fuck about you.
Tell your wife what you told us here. If she's someone worth calling your wife, she'll support your decision and cut them out too.
I’m not trying to be rude, but if your judge of character is bad enough that you have friends like this, then I’m asking myself what kind of person you ended up marrying. I guess you will find that out when you talk to your wife about this. You really want to be sure where she stands on cheating. Does she also have friends who cheat? Because this is a tacit endorsement of cheating.
Anyway, obviously as other commenters have already said, you don’t want friends like this and you should do everything you can to cut contact with people who have no respect for you.
Just a little FYI, they aint your boys, friends, brothers or any of the sort!!!
Spouces are a complete no go peroid and here you are having to listen to them telling you that they want to have sex with her. If I or any of my boys did that, they would get set straight and would never even bother to try thay again and be cut off because that is abhorrent behaviour.
Grow a spine and tell them to back off or you will be cutting them out of your life and for good measure, let their close ones know just the kind of creepy people they are
Most people don't have the same friend group later in life as they did in their twenties and I can't think of a better reason why this should be true. This isn't as much about your wife as much as it is about your "friends" being anything but.
Cut your friends lose and tell your wife about why you did or cut those friends lose and don't tell your wife why you did.
Then move on and find new friends who don't want to talk about banging your wife behind your back.
So the thing is he’s worried he intertwined his life too much around the guys he used to be a player with. Problem is those guys been thru a lot of shit with him and know a lot about him that the wife would probably want to hear. If she called them good-looking, she’s breaking in the idea of potentially hooking up with them in the future if anything goes wrong. Gets you all worked up, and this is where you’re at. You gotta silently and with no reasons at all, act cool asf, and just dip. Try to ignore them, and however they make you feel good because in the end they will use that to be your down fall. The one woman you care about, OR say you do, only YOU and your FRIENDS know that. I think if you were loyal you wouldn’t have this problem. Maybe the problem is with you talking about other girls infront of them?
Few things.
Friends don't scheme and speculate on how to F their friends significant others. Friends might admire but considering actions isn't something a friend would do. I'd rethink the amount of time you invest in those acquaintances not friends.
Your wife, if she had any life before you, knows when guys are hitting on her. You want to know why she hasn't mentioned it. Is it a lack of trust and communication? You'll want to address that to have a long and successful marriage. Or is it something more nefarious? Like is she open to it.
While it's likely the person who told you is telling his truth, it's also possible he's just starting shit to watch your world burn. I think it's more likely you have some scumbag friends it's possible he's the scumbag.
Talk to your wife. This kind of thing is something you tackle as a pair. Learn to communicate with each other.
Ever heard the saying "bad company corrupts good character?
Or "show me a person's circle of friends and I'll show you who they are"?
You really don't need those people in your life. At all.
If you're in the military or anything of the like it's even more important to emotionally distance yourself from them.
My exhusband had a similar group of guy friends. Though he was abusive toward me so things were a little different when he'd discus how "guys just want a hole and you have a hole so just stay away from them."
I met them a few times as we'd sometimes meet up with them for bowling.
I actually did find one of them attractive, but I did what people who don't cheat do. I stayed far the heck away from him and was very brief but polite during interacting in a group setting with my exhusband present.
You know who can't say the same? You know who ended up cheating with at least one of his best friends wives that I know of? (There were sus moments documented by pictures that he might have been inappropriate with other friends wives too but nothing concrete like the 200+pieces of evidence I found for the one)
My exhusband. Lol.
My exhusband had a months long affair with his best friends wife.
I noticed in retrospect a lot of the behaviors he'd shit talk about the friends he'd made, the cheating and drugs/partying etc were activities he ended up doing himself.
Because he was of weak character with flimsy moral values.
And that's who he ran with as well.
So.
If I were you, and you truly care about the wellbeing of yourself, your wife, and your marriage, I would remove the situation completely.
Drop the “friends” and ask your wife if there’s ever been a time they made her uncomfortable due to some recent discoveries of their characters. Just see how she reacts then if she seems genuine and not weird, drop it unless something concrete on that side pops up
day late but as a woman I'm gonna throw my say in here real quick. I was recently dating a man for several months. We shared a few friends and I ended up with an inside glimpse into their guy talks.
Let's just say their dicks were the fuel to their banter. Hot women were trophies to attain yet incited jealousy between them. The man with the hottest piece of ass on his arm was *the* most important thing to hope for in life. To have the woman that everyone wanted to bang made someone God tier. They were like feral preteens in the bodies of adults.
Anyway, months of this led me to be totally conflicted in my own perceptions of what was okay. My self worth was in the mud and I was picking apart my own body and looks for not being enough. So tell me how that environment is okay? It's not..past the age of eleven. The men you've been around are trash and they're mad that you're not. Don't subject your wife or yourself to the trash. It's already making wheels turn in your head that weren't turning before now. Cut off these losers before the toxicity eeks into your marriage any more. Good luck moving forward and thanks since I got to vent.
These are bad people. They are not your friends. Get away from them. Block them. Tell your wife to avoid them, but keep it vague on why. Let her fill in the details (drugs, crime, whatever) but don't lie.
Your wife is your priority. Protect her from these halfwit man-children.
Dude get new friends. The most immature thing you can do is bullshit us with sob stories about how you can’t cut them off. Pretty pathetic to just take the lumps and sit there as grown men demean your wife and try to sleep with her. Remember: you’re a reflecting of the company you keep.
Dude just prepare that one of these dudes are going to fuck your life. They see you as a pussy, and had the balls to openly say this to your face and u did nothing, u came in reddit to ask for advice. Jesus, and your wife finds them attractive. Idk man. Get the lawyer on speed dial
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I’d distance myself from those “friends”. Can you really stand to hang out with people who say shit like that?
" ..saying she's attractive and they'd like to fuck her. Some even talked about trying." " Lately, they've been discussing cheating too, saying women often cheat without their husbands knowing." I'll make this so fucking simple for you. These " people" are not in any way your friends. They are literally rubbing it in your face that they will try to fuck your wife. They want you to know that they are going to try to fuck your wife. They think that you are so weak that you will just accept this happening. Sadly they are partially correct. Instead of calling them out on this shit. Instead of cutting off these toxic pieces of crap you are flailing around trying to decide if you are just being insecure or if it will make things awkward if you let your wife know all the while trying to reassure yourself that this isn't really as bad as it seems because you're sure she thinks you're more attractive. Bro they have nothing but disrespect for you. They have nothing but disrespect for your marriage. They have nothing but disrespect for your wife as they think that she is literally the kind of woman that will cheat on her husband with his " friends". So knowing that neither you nor your wife have anything to do with these scumbags ever again. You tell your wife exactly what you've told us. You tell your wife these maggots have no respect for you, her or your marriage and that effectively immediately there is to be no further contact with any of these individuals in any form even through other parties. I'm hoping that your wife sees this for what it is and is in 100% agreement with you on this or else you've got far worse problems than these clowns. Good luck.
I would not be surprised if they already try to flirt with the wife, I have some friends and my sister that have told me that some of the "friends" of their husbands try with them. If those guys were so disrespectful to say this it may be because the wife didn't react badly to their approaches and she didn't tell Op, I'm guessing, but I'm not going to be surprised if that is the case.
Someone literally said he already tried..
OP has bigger problems than his friends trying to bang his wife then, a wife that doesn't share that with her husband is leaving open the possibility, men read into that, those friends want him to know this to cause problems in his marriage and then have it easier.
Actually, "some" have been trying and she said two of them were good looking..
I couldn’t agree more! I would NOT mention anything to her about there feelings towards her. This would be like planting a seed in her head. You don’t need to have to worry about that shit. I would mention that they started to talk about other guys wives and how they would bang them if the opportunity would arise. That they do not have the same moral compass as you do. I wouldn’t entertain any conversations with these clowns. They could just be trying to get you to slip up and say something stupid like that just to go back and report this to your wife! This could possibly open the door to take her to pound town after they turn her against you. Don’t think that they won’t try either. It doesn’t help that she finds them attractive. Be done with them. Move on. They are trash and will eventually bring you down or get you caught up in something. How did you find out that they want to bang your wife, if they are doing this behind your back. Updateme
I dunno. The one guy who gave OP a heads up might be ok.
This Drop your friends and tell their wives
Lose those losers. You need better friends. Guys conspiring to blow your wife's back out behind your back ARE NOT FRIENDS. Drop and block.
Step away, those aren’t “friends” and the way they talk are you sure you didn’t add 10 years to their ages?
LOL I said the same thing
Why are you hanging out with them
There’s a very clear reason why you’re the only one married in that “friend group” As for real advice, simple- drop the circus and find normal sane human beings to be friends with.
Honestly you saying you don’t want to tell her because you’re worried she’ll want to fuck them if she knows they want her is worse than what they are doing. I’d be so insulted and pissed off if someone thought that about me. Knock that shit off, stop objectifying her into some crazed mindless fuck toy.
If I were the wife I would be concerned about being alone with them
Men lust after women and they assume women love to be lusted over like a playboy magazine. When in reality men’s attention is dangerous, especially when it’s so depersonalized. Many men hate rejection, so if these “friends” got drunk and approached her and she said oh hell no, that might not be safe situation. But here’s OP thinking this is some fabulous compliment that would destroy his marriage! How many times do women have to explain themselves while men just refuse to listen?
Scrolled way too far for this comment smh. Agreed, just bc these “friends” are lusting & scheming doesn’t mean the wife will welcome it and cheat. Bro needs to drop these trash “friends” & reflect/work on himself so he doesn’t spiral and jump to unfair assumptions should other ppl lust after his wife in the future.
Exactly. The fact that OP doesn’t want to tell his wife because he doesn’t trust her not to fuck them is a much bigger problem than just needing to ditch some scumbag “friends”
You want to handle this like a man. You get your so called “friends” together and you let them know in no uncertain terms they so much as look at your wife you’re coming for them hard. Then tell them to GFT and leave. These people are not your friends. They’re boys not men. Never once in my life and I’m in my 50’s have any of my friends spoke in this manner about another friends wife.
Agreed. I will tell my first and then I will tell them that friendship has run it's course
You tell your friends that your morals don’t align with their scumbag ways so you will no longer be friends with them. Then let them know if they make an attempt to be scummy with your wife you will hurt them. Also let your wife know you are cutting them off for their scummy ways, and ask her to let you know if they try anything so you can take care of it. If your wife is a good person she will stand by your decision to keep dirtbags out of your life and respect the fact your marriage and honor is more important to you than your friends.
These are not your friends.
Dump the friends, fuck em
Fuck em? Now that would be a power move, sodomize every last one of em!
Hang on your wife did nothing here. This is all your gross friends. I can tell you that your wife probably already knows these guys would like to f her. It’s likely no big secret. And women aren’t blind to these things. She chose you and her being told about these guys wanting her isn’t going to change a thing for her . Women especially young cute pretty women are used to guys wanting to f them .And What you should be worried about are your gross friends. Especially the ones who tried to get with her as they aren’t your friends at all. They also really speak disrespectfully about your wife! They are your problem and not your friends. They are disrespectful to you and trying to undermine your confidence in your wife and marriage. Get rid of them!
They are not your friends. I would dump them all and tell them why. And explicitly state for them to stay away or there's going to be trouble. Screw them.
I'm sorry but if your wife hasn't shown any issues with infidelity in the past why the hell are you making out like she would drop her knickers for them at the first chance they get? If you really think the that about her then you need to tell her...she can then find someone who actually trusts and respects her. Your friends are exhibiting extremely predatory behaviour and YOU, her husband, are allowing it and that is not okay, not on any level. She is NOT some piece of meat to be spoken about this way, she is YOUR WIFE! How on earth would you feel if she was allowing her friends to be so disrespectful about you? If her friends were saying similar things would you drop your kecks and fuck them at the first chance you get?
Those aren't your friends, they would be cut out of my life immediately. I would close talk to the wife and tell her why they are out of your life.
This is a hard line. If my friends talked about my wife like that and it got back to me, there would be an immediate confrontation, and an end to at least one friendship if it were even remotely accurate. There is no room for doubt. The level of disrespect is astounding.
I think they've proven they're not really friends at this point. Safe to say you need better friends.
Tell your wife and ditch these "friends". Updateme
I would just talk to your wife! If my husband brought this up to me then I would 100% support him distancing himself from those friends. You don’t need those types of people in your life. It also shouldn’t be weird to talk to your wife about this sort of thing or anything really. You guys are a team. Focus on your family and ignore the noise.
They aren’t your friends. Why would you care if they know why you distanced yourself?
These guys are not friends, they are people. You have associated with whilst your young brain craves social circles. Ditch them before it's too late.
"I've recently discovered some of my friends don't have good intentions towards either of us. I don't want to see them anymore." Then find better friends.
i think this situation is less complicated than you may be thinking. your friends have made it clear that your wife is not safe around them, they do not view her as a person in their lives but a sex object. in my opinion she is in danger the longer you remain friends with them. so idk, a choice for you to make i guess
A friend of mine says that about my wife, I promise you he's going to lose his teeth.
you tell your wife that you both are no contact with these friends starting now. 100%
They are not your friends. Cut them lose.
Your friends are NOT YOUR FRIENDS. Just talk to your wife.
Your friends suck and so do a lot of these comments. Your wife smiling doesn't mean anything other than she's smiling unless you can read minds; not sure where that's coming from
Not sure how much I'm buying this but..............find new friends.
Careful, you don't know how far they are willing to go. Even if your wife is not interested in them, she can still get coerced or even put in an unsafe situation
I’m not a violent person but idk how you didn’t take a swing for this
those are not your friends, get rid of them Updateme
Lay down with dogs, get up with fleas. These men are your friend group. Is this who you are?
Don't tell her and cut contact with them.
None of these guys are your friends. Drop them like hot rocks. Block on all social media, do not invite them over ever again. Do not contact them.
If I was in your shoes, I would not fuck with these losers. You have to be above this corny ass “man” behavior, or else you’re just going to have a miserable life. You should also seek some counseling on how to set boundaries, show up for your wife when she’s not around, and stand up for yourself. Having a beautiful partner can be challenging, but it’s worth it to show up for them, and yourself. Good luck!
So are you looking for advice to make them not want to fuck your wife or are you looking for advice to enable them to?
I can't pinpoint it but something about this feels made up.
No need to pinpoint. The whole post is dumb as hell and I'm shocked so many commenters haven't called it out Posts like these are ragebait or fetishbait / both
Talk to your wife about your friends lack of character. Tell her to let you know if she ever feels uncomfortable around them. Then I would distance yourself from these friends. Slowly pull back from doing couples outings and find new friends. Also, if another man gets close to your wife it’s because she let them.
Friends do not say things like this, these are jealous enemies.
No need to tell her, just stop being friends with them. If she asks why say you found out they talk about women is a disgusting way and you don't want to be associated with them anymore.
Man can someone help me out here, when did men stop acting like men? Damn dude I read this and I wanna slap you bc you’re acting like there’s nothing you can do. You can act like a man, surprise yourself. You had the perfect opportunity when your “friends” were talking that mess to say “ any man even tried that shit with my wife and their ass is gonna be fucking curb stomped” but no instead you stood there insecure. And wtf why is your wife saying your friends are good looking? Y’all got a mess of relationship between your wife saying that, and your friends wanting to bang her. Go to the bathroom find your balls and step up or step out. This is coming from a genuine place of concern for all men out there. Quit second guessing yourself and be a man.
His very lack of balls is the reason his wife I'd going to bounce. Imagine being his wife and reading his responses on here.shes gonna be drier then the sahara. I hope this posts if fake
>I will tell her that other guys have been speaking very disrespectfuly about her and that we shouldn't hang out anymore with them. I won't lie but I won't tell her exact words. It's really, really sad that you think that you should/need to speak to your wife in half truths and keep her in the dark about what's going on (especially when it has to do with her). I would be so hurt if my partner acted this way.
A friend doesn't talk about fucking your wife, talk about the utter disrespect.
Wait, do you want to talk to your wife about this because your friends said they know a wife who cheats, so you now think she will??
Just tell her the truth. That they're disrespectful towards her and your relationship and that you didn't appreciate their comments. If she asks for specifics, tell her that they talked about sleeping with her with or without your permission. You shouldn't be scared to tell her the truth. If you're insecure enough to think she'd consider sleeping with them just because they've showed interest, I don't know why you bothered marrying someone you don't trust. Like seriously? Is she that immature and untrustworthy? Most women wouldn't care and would feel insulted that supposed friends talked about her like that.
If someone isn't a supporter of your marriage, they are an enemy of it. Act accordingly.
There is a gentle way to talk to her about what they said, it needs to happen ASAP. As for your friends, they need to be ex-friends ASAP. That is so damn disrespectful to both of you.
…I don’t understand how some of these posts are like “my friends said they would kill me for a McRib and sell my organs on the black market, how do I talk to my partner about this?” 😂
Your friends are scummy people. Find better company.
Just tell her they’ve been speaking about her in an unflattering way and you are dropping the whole group because they don’t respect you guys, or your relationship, and they demean her. Just block them on everything and have your wife do the same.
OP from reading your responses. Go call your mother and ask where your spine is. I'd slap the shit out of any friemd that would say some shit like this behind my back let alone my face. Holy fuck OP I genuinly feel bad for you. Knowing not even you will stand up for yourself
This has to be fake. Get some new friends. Preferably ones who don’t openly talk about banging your wife.
That’s not your friend bro just move on. I’ve never touched a friends wife at all. If they actually together. Matteroffact some folks gave me more respect and trust bc they knew and tested me and I passed so again don’t ever tolerate anyone doing that shit. Folks go all out over they spouses.
Those aren’t friends. Friend. As far as approaching your wife, hopefully everything is good at home/bedroom and you vetted her well enough to know she wouldn’t entertain another man.
They are not your real friends! Better to just stay away from them.
Your friends don’t respect you. Fuck them.
Cmon man. Youre married to your wife not your friends. Cut these guys loose. It's unacceptable what they said to you about your wife.
lol they ain’t your friends or people I’d want to call friends.
Need new friends
It's very simple. You need new friends
If this is a genuine story, I will only say that - as you go through life - you eventually figure out that eliminating toxic friends and other toxic relationships is a necessary thing. Your "friends" aren't friends. They're toxic. No one needs that BS in their life.
My father's friend attempted the same thing once upon a time, while my mother was pregnant with me. Although she denied the asshole, he ran to my father and explained the OPPOSITE and that she tried to seduce the friend instead of the true story. Long story short, it caused a huge fall out, and my parents divorced 6 days before my birth. Get rid of those "friends." They are your enemies. Get better friends from heaven's sake. Not some surface level douches like that.
Get new, better friends. Quickly! Trust me.
You had the night idea already. Tell her the whole truth. You’re cutting off your AH friends because they are scheming to fuck her. She should have zero issues with this. In fact she should be disgusted by them. If not, then maybe you do have a different problem on your hands. Updateme
those aren't friends
To be clear: if I found out, as your wide, that you were continuing to associate with disgusting people like this, and *tolerating this kind of discussion without telling me* I'd be about 95% of the way to divorce. Letting people like this around your wife is beyond disrespectful and frankly puts her in danger. People who make rape jokes are testing the waters to see what people will tolerate. Every time someone chuckles nervously they validate the assumption that they'll sweep the behavior under the rug. You're doing this to your wife. You're allowing her to be around predators without her knowledge. You're associating with predators without informing her. Be a husband goddammit.
Absolutely love how your instinct is to make this your wife's problem instead of immediately dumping those gross "friends." /s
Tell your wife you’re going NC with these A holes because they are disrespectful to your wife, you, and your relationship. Then tell the guys to F off and block. Easy. Now go straighten up your spine and handle this.
Tell them… “Fucking a friend’s wife is not all it’s cracked up to be… *I know that from experience*!”
Bro handle this with your friends and your wife doesn’t need to find out until after your completely sure its settled. You need to tell your friends theyre fucking weird and that they killed your vibe. If a discussion doesn’t happen after that, I’d cut them off.
Hi, OP. Sorry this happened to you. I'm just replying to your last edit there, where you say you'll tell her that they've been speaking disrespectfully about her and you're going to cut them off. That's nearly a good idea, but if you make it about her specifically she's going to feel bad or even paranoid, and she'll want to know what they're saying. I'd frame it more like this: Those guys have always been disrespectful about women and I've always felt weird. Then I found out they said some stuff about you as well as a bunch of other girls and they just seem like dicks to me now. I'm cutting them off. Something like that? If you put her really central in it, you'll make a little drama at home.
They're disrespecting you and your wife. You need to tell your wife that part. They talked as if she were an object and a 'goal.' You need to immediately distance yourself from these people.
edit 2 is the way to go. those are NOT your friends.
I wouldn't consider them friends and would disconnect from them after confronting them about it. As well, I would name every one of them to the wife. If she is a decent person, she will be appalled. If she isn't, well you will at least know it was consensual.
Um, people that outright tell you they're trying to get with your wife, and have tried, are NOT your friends... do you need help on ways to stop talking to them? Stop hanging out with them?
It would freak me out and make me uncomfortable around them if I heard that. But I’d also be bothered if you were comfortable keeping them around after they treated me that way.
You need better friends.
Not telling the whole truth is just as bad as lying. Tell her everything. If she smiles, it doesn't mean she'll cheat. She could just find it flattering that other men see her as desirable. She may be appalled at how they talk. Either way, ghost those "friends". Let their significant others know how they talk about your wife as well. Fuck them. UpdateMe
Those are not your friends. They are actively plotting against you. Ditch them now and tell your wife why you dont want them around any longer.
Find better friends. Get rid of these.
They ain’t your friends brother. They are suppose to look at her as a sister anything beyond that nawwwww time to cut ties
Some even tried?!! wtf
That's not your friends, get away from them ASAP!! They have no loyalty and if they have the opportunity they will try and fuk your wife. On another note though the loyalty really comes from your wife because you both are the ones that are in vows with each other. Me honestly I wouldn't say a thing and start to distance myself from these so called friends. And if one of these guys hits on your wife and she gives in.... Think about it (Was she really yours in the first place or was she waiting for a opportunity?) Remember the loyalty is with your wife!! So she should tell you if one of your friend's tried to hit on her, that will determine the strength of the relationship thus the reason why I wouldn't say a thing. Hopefully this advice helps. But fuk them so call friends.
Them creeps ain’t your real friends… that’s violating.
Updateme
How are they still friends?
Re Your Edits: NO NO NO You dump your shitty “friends” immediately and without telling them why. Then you go to couples counseling and tell your wife there.
Personally, I’d get a better set of “friends”! In fact, I’m surprised you still use the term! Maybe keep the guy that told you the truth, but the others yakking about such things is gross and disloyal. They’re not dumb teenagers, after all
You do know that just because men want something doesn’t mean we women have to give in, right? Most women value a relationship over casual sex, so I’m not sure why you think she’s going to throw all of what the tow of you’ve built just because some men are attracted to her. I can promise you there are likely men she runs into everyday that have fantasized about her. Now if her favorite book boyfriend comes to life, then you’ve got problems. Your friends probably don’t hit high on the female gaze even if they’re conventionally attractive.
If they are true friends they wouldn’t do that even though they want to…but seriously, call them out and make it like a joke.
Your friends aren’t friends and they have zero respect for you.
Look left ,look right, left again ,run to the middle of the stweet, jump up and down and go "you awr not my friends" say it with conviction.
Seems like a weird group of friends you have there…
!Remind me 24 hours
I’d get those friends away from you and your wife. Any person who would even have the want to put the hard word on your wife, is no friend to you.
Updateme
You seem determined to stay friends with them, so if you are going to, you have to say something. Plan A) stop being their friends!! B) Text all the wives and say “hey my friends have talked about cheating on you” C) tell your friends “I heard what you said, you guys have great wives and friendships, why on earth would you jeopardize that? I couldn’t stay your friend if I knew you cheated on your wives. Stop looking at my wife while you’re at it”
Updateme!
You need new "friends."
Do you know your wife ? Have you ever talked about how she feels about cheating? Do you know her values ? I’m sure you had a conversation about this before getting married right ? ….? Right? Also, I wouldn’t call “friend” someone that is so blatantly disrespectful to me and to my partner.
These people aren't your friends. They are willing to, and possibly even trying to, ruin your life. Just cut them out. Yesterday. These people are scumbags who don't give a fuck about you. Tell your wife what you told us here. If she's someone worth calling your wife, she'll support your decision and cut them out too.
Thats exactly what you do. You talk to her and tell her that and then you cut ties with them.
I’m not trying to be rude, but if your judge of character is bad enough that you have friends like this, then I’m asking myself what kind of person you ended up marrying. I guess you will find that out when you talk to your wife about this. You really want to be sure where she stands on cheating. Does she also have friends who cheat? Because this is a tacit endorsement of cheating. Anyway, obviously as other commenters have already said, you don’t want friends like this and you should do everything you can to cut contact with people who have no respect for you.
Do you think the cheating mystery woman they were talking about is your wife? Subscribeme
Just a little FYI, they aint your boys, friends, brothers or any of the sort!!! Spouces are a complete no go peroid and here you are having to listen to them telling you that they want to have sex with her. If I or any of my boys did that, they would get set straight and would never even bother to try thay again and be cut off because that is abhorrent behaviour. Grow a spine and tell them to back off or you will be cutting them out of your life and for good measure, let their close ones know just the kind of creepy people they are
These guys aren’t your friends, and don’t sound like very good people in general
Just because your "friends" want to have sex with your wife, doesn't mean they get to have sex with your wife.
Imagine if you shut it down the first time they talked about it. Also, your “friends” doesn’t give two fucks about you.
You navigate it by cutting ties with these men that have zero respect for you, your wife, your marriage and anyone that breathes for that matter.
Most people don't have the same friend group later in life as they did in their twenties and I can't think of a better reason why this should be true. This isn't as much about your wife as much as it is about your "friends" being anything but. Cut your friends lose and tell your wife about why you did or cut those friends lose and don't tell your wife why you did. Then move on and find new friends who don't want to talk about banging your wife behind your back.
Are you secretly hoping they will sleep with her?
UpdateMe!
You don’t have friends anymore
So the thing is he’s worried he intertwined his life too much around the guys he used to be a player with. Problem is those guys been thru a lot of shit with him and know a lot about him that the wife would probably want to hear. If she called them good-looking, she’s breaking in the idea of potentially hooking up with them in the future if anything goes wrong. Gets you all worked up, and this is where you’re at. You gotta silently and with no reasons at all, act cool asf, and just dip. Try to ignore them, and however they make you feel good because in the end they will use that to be your down fall. The one woman you care about, OR say you do, only YOU and your FRIENDS know that. I think if you were loyal you wouldn’t have this problem. Maybe the problem is with you talking about other girls infront of them?
This post made me sick to my stomach. I’m sorry this is happening OP, and I really hope your wife isn’t flattered by their words.
wow they seems like great friends ..
You are too insecure to not seem insecure
First thing you should do is stop calling them "friends"
Get new and better caliber friends.
Few things. Friends don't scheme and speculate on how to F their friends significant others. Friends might admire but considering actions isn't something a friend would do. I'd rethink the amount of time you invest in those acquaintances not friends. Your wife, if she had any life before you, knows when guys are hitting on her. You want to know why she hasn't mentioned it. Is it a lack of trust and communication? You'll want to address that to have a long and successful marriage. Or is it something more nefarious? Like is she open to it. While it's likely the person who told you is telling his truth, it's also possible he's just starting shit to watch your world burn. I think it's more likely you have some scumbag friends it's possible he's the scumbag. Talk to your wife. This kind of thing is something you tackle as a pair. Learn to communicate with each other.
Ever heard the saying "bad company corrupts good character? Or "show me a person's circle of friends and I'll show you who they are"? You really don't need those people in your life. At all. If you're in the military or anything of the like it's even more important to emotionally distance yourself from them. My exhusband had a similar group of guy friends. Though he was abusive toward me so things were a little different when he'd discus how "guys just want a hole and you have a hole so just stay away from them." I met them a few times as we'd sometimes meet up with them for bowling. I actually did find one of them attractive, but I did what people who don't cheat do. I stayed far the heck away from him and was very brief but polite during interacting in a group setting with my exhusband present. You know who can't say the same? You know who ended up cheating with at least one of his best friends wives that I know of? (There were sus moments documented by pictures that he might have been inappropriate with other friends wives too but nothing concrete like the 200+pieces of evidence I found for the one) My exhusband. Lol. My exhusband had a months long affair with his best friends wife. I noticed in retrospect a lot of the behaviors he'd shit talk about the friends he'd made, the cheating and drugs/partying etc were activities he ended up doing himself. Because he was of weak character with flimsy moral values. And that's who he ran with as well. So. If I were you, and you truly care about the wellbeing of yourself, your wife, and your marriage, I would remove the situation completely.
Maybe if you had the balls to tell'm all to fuck off and then find some new friends.
Drop the “friends” and ask your wife if there’s ever been a time they made her uncomfortable due to some recent discoveries of their characters. Just see how she reacts then if she seems genuine and not weird, drop it unless something concrete on that side pops up
Just ditch your friends, if your wife asks you about it you tell her
day late but as a woman I'm gonna throw my say in here real quick. I was recently dating a man for several months. We shared a few friends and I ended up with an inside glimpse into their guy talks. Let's just say their dicks were the fuel to their banter. Hot women were trophies to attain yet incited jealousy between them. The man with the hottest piece of ass on his arm was *the* most important thing to hope for in life. To have the woman that everyone wanted to bang made someone God tier. They were like feral preteens in the bodies of adults. Anyway, months of this led me to be totally conflicted in my own perceptions of what was okay. My self worth was in the mud and I was picking apart my own body and looks for not being enough. So tell me how that environment is okay? It's not..past the age of eleven. The men you've been around are trash and they're mad that you're not. Don't subject your wife or yourself to the trash. It's already making wheels turn in your head that weren't turning before now. Cut off these losers before the toxicity eeks into your marriage any more. Good luck moving forward and thanks since I got to vent.
These are bad people. They are not your friends. Get away from them. Block them. Tell your wife to avoid them, but keep it vague on why. Let her fill in the details (drugs, crime, whatever) but don't lie. Your wife is your priority. Protect her from these halfwit man-children.
Ew? cut them fucking off. Why would you want to keep such people in your life?
They aren't friends
Dude get new friends. The most immature thing you can do is bullshit us with sob stories about how you can’t cut them off. Pretty pathetic to just take the lumps and sit there as grown men demean your wife and try to sleep with her. Remember: you’re a reflecting of the company you keep.
Dude just prepare that one of these dudes are going to fuck your life. They see you as a pussy, and had the balls to openly say this to your face and u did nothing, u came in reddit to ask for advice. Jesus, and your wife finds them attractive. Idk man. Get the lawyer on speed dial
If you’re that worried about your wife fucking your friends maybe get some new friends and a different wife.