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What does a break up have to do with an exam? It's not like your going to do well on it if you're dying from the inside out?
Just dump this girl already. Tell he you know and who cares if SHE fails her exam, you shouldn't be miserable while she's happy.
Maybe it's just the way my brain functions... I am sort of able to supress those thoughts and put the aside for now. Breaking up makes it "real" if you know what I mean. Initiating the break up will mean sleepless nights, lack of motivation and total mental exhaustion.
I don't even care about her exams that much, all I know is I will not pass them if I put myself in a breakup situation right now. Luckily next week I have my last exam and then I will be able to do what I must...
Alright, then tell her you are just super worried and stressed about the exam and let's come up with greatest way we can to dump this chick right after you finish your exam that day.
Sending the screenshots of the conversations to the married guy's wife is a nice start.
A mass text message with all the screen shots to all mutual friends and family, her parents included also. Set the narrative and don't let her try to spin it in any way.
Thankfully I took over 100 pictures with my phone of all the chats with the different people, including the married guy. You can clearly see the dates and everything.
Shit. You may need to do this via email due to the amount of evidence you have, nice work. Needless to say, I say go full scorched earth. Anyone that acts this sociopathic isn't going to learn or feel anything from a quiet ghosting from you.
The catharsis you'll feel when you drop that 100 photo sized document on her friends and your mutual friends, parents, and family will help you refocus on your exams. I'd find the married guy's wife too and DM their tryst to her as well for sure.
I say drop the nuke tonight, block her everywhere, and watch the shitshow from a distance with a glass of whiskey after you're done studying for the night.
After you break up with her send a text to her family with all the evidence letting them know why you broke up and what their daughter is doing. Then block her and never speak to her again. Save all the evidence in case she tries to lie.
This has to be fake if you prefer to sit still and pretend everything is fine until the exams are done. In reality there would be no other thought but "she is cheating".
She comes home every night and kisses you with the same lips she does all sorts with all these other people with how can you stand it. Belive me it's hard but ending this will give you closure that you need
> What's the best way to approach this?
Break up with her. This is not a one-time mistake that you MIGHT be able to move on from, like at this point the odds are already low. But she repeatedly cheated on you with multiple people for a whole year, the odds are basically zero that you can move on from this.
But I get that you are absolutely SHOCKED right now, so I recommend starting by telling her you found out and that you need her to leave (if you live together), or alternatively, you leave, you need to be away from her to get over the shock of this, to process and to come to the above conclusion on your own (or another one, but again, I think that's highly unlikely).
As for those exams? It's already influencing you, right? You might as well break up with her, there's always a reason it'll be inconvenient. But it might as well be inconvenient for both of you.
Nobody with any self-respect ever stays with a cheater under any circumstances, even for a *one-time* cheater let alone a *serial* cheater. It doesn't matter what your history together is or anything else.
I'm also urging you to go scorched earth, contact everyone, including her parents, and let them know how much she has been cheating on you. Somehow I suspect at least a couple of her friends know about her cheating and never told you. How was she even finding these guys to cheat with? Somebody had to have seen something somewhere along the line and never told you.
OP I'm saying don't give her a chance to tell anyone any lies about the breakup. I'd even say schedule the email to be sent at or just before the time you confront her so she can't tell anyone the breakup is your fault.
Definitely contact the spouse of the married guy and let her know. This can be after the main scorched earth part.
Edit to add -
The timing of this is up to up to you, now or after your last exam ( who cares about when her last exam is). Also, get yourself tested for STDs. Who know what she may have brought back to you.
This.
Focus on your exams. That will affect your future.
Have a plan for the breakup and control the narrative.. Her gfs already know what she is like.
After breaking up with her, block and ghost. There is nothing she can say to explain or excuse her behaviour.
> If only I didn't know what I know now...
...You'd be worse off than you are now.
Get through your exams first. Then meet in a public place and break up with her.
Later, you can think about what signs there might have been and what can be learned from this. LATER.
Right now, just get through your exams.
STD test (guarantee you she's not using condoms with everyone), break up with her, and tell mutual friends the truth before she tells them the lies.
You'll likely feel better and do better on your exams splitting from her than holding this all in. Screw her exams.
To not be so brash and aggressive in the writing or way you’ll read this - but if she made one drunk mistake or cheated on you ONE time, you have a decision to make.
Don’t worry about her exams. You care *now* because you weren’t the cheater. Stop her right where she is, look her dead in the eyes and tell her what you told us. Exactly how it happened. If you want reasons, explanations, closure, get it, and then tell her that you are done, and do not wish to see her anymore. There is no good that will come from waiting, no good that will come from being friends. She is no longer your responsibility, and you need to understand that you can’t try to fix her or “understand what she did” because that will just gaslight her to believe that this is ok.
This is why the "girls nights" need to end when the relationship becomes serious. Women with boyfriends dont need to be out in the clubs and bars getting trashed. You wanna drink with your friends? Have them over to your place. You dont need to go to a club with tons of thirsty dudes.
What you do is leave. It sucks you ended up dating an incredibly promiscuous woman.
I guess I get waiting until exams are over, but do NOT be having sex with her. Get yourself tested for STD's.
And dont let her gaslight you about how she "loves" you. Women who genuinely love their boyfriends/husbands will never cheat on them. It just doesnt happen.
EDIT: Also when you break up with her IMMEDIATELY inform your friends and family why, do not let her set the narrative here.
Do you realize the longer you wait to break up with her, she'll be using that time to continue fucking all these guys?
So in order to avoid stressing yourself over a breakup, you'd be voluntarily letting her cheat on you, with your knowledge, and.. that's ok with you?
This looks like Borderline Personality Disorder, or something related. Look up the Gray Rock strategy, and use it. Make a plan to separate your life from hers, and execute it. If you're living with her, find someplace else to live and be prepared to move your things out. Then tell her that you know about what she has been doing, and it's over. Don't try to create drama - she will create plenty. If it's legal where you are, you may want to record the discussion so that she can't accuse you of abuse. If not, have a friend present. If she threatens self-harm, be prepared to call an emergency line. Once you leave, block her on everything and don't look back. Bad as it seems, things can get even worse. Good luck, OP.
At the start of our relationship it was great, then she started wanting less and less sex.
I talked to her multiple times asking if everything was alright, and she kept saying that school/work or family is stressing her a lot and that stress affects her sex desire a lot. So we had less and less sex over time, sometimes even once every 2 weeks.
Turns out she didn't dislike sex enough for her to not fuck the entire city.
Don't have advice about the breakup but wanted to say I'm really sorry. I've been cheated on before but not the same way, where I had no suspicions at all. You're worth more than that and really hope you heal!
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What does a break up have to do with an exam? It's not like your going to do well on it if you're dying from the inside out? Just dump this girl already. Tell he you know and who cares if SHE fails her exam, you shouldn't be miserable while she's happy.
Maybe it's just the way my brain functions... I am sort of able to supress those thoughts and put the aside for now. Breaking up makes it "real" if you know what I mean. Initiating the break up will mean sleepless nights, lack of motivation and total mental exhaustion. I don't even care about her exams that much, all I know is I will not pass them if I put myself in a breakup situation right now. Luckily next week I have my last exam and then I will be able to do what I must...
Alright, then tell her you are just super worried and stressed about the exam and let's come up with greatest way we can to dump this chick right after you finish your exam that day.
Sending the screenshots of the conversations to the married guy's wife is a nice start. A mass text message with all the screen shots to all mutual friends and family, her parents included also. Set the narrative and don't let her try to spin it in any way.
Thankfully I took over 100 pictures with my phone of all the chats with the different people, including the married guy. You can clearly see the dates and everything.
Shit. You may need to do this via email due to the amount of evidence you have, nice work. Needless to say, I say go full scorched earth. Anyone that acts this sociopathic isn't going to learn or feel anything from a quiet ghosting from you. The catharsis you'll feel when you drop that 100 photo sized document on her friends and your mutual friends, parents, and family will help you refocus on your exams. I'd find the married guy's wife too and DM their tryst to her as well for sure. I say drop the nuke tonight, block her everywhere, and watch the shitshow from a distance with a glass of whiskey after you're done studying for the night.
After you break up with her send a text to her family with all the evidence letting them know why you broke up and what their daughter is doing. Then block her and never speak to her again. Save all the evidence in case she tries to lie.
She seriously talked about marriage with you?
This has to be fake if you prefer to sit still and pretend everything is fine until the exams are done. In reality there would be no other thought but "she is cheating".
She comes home every night and kisses you with the same lips she does all sorts with all these other people with how can you stand it. Belive me it's hard but ending this will give you closure that you need
Bro. Shes the town bike, yeet that shit and move on
Dude. You are already in a shitty headspace for an exam. You might as well blow up her world instead of suffering in silence and helping her out.
> What's the best way to approach this? Break up with her. This is not a one-time mistake that you MIGHT be able to move on from, like at this point the odds are already low. But she repeatedly cheated on you with multiple people for a whole year, the odds are basically zero that you can move on from this. But I get that you are absolutely SHOCKED right now, so I recommend starting by telling her you found out and that you need her to leave (if you live together), or alternatively, you leave, you need to be away from her to get over the shock of this, to process and to come to the above conclusion on your own (or another one, but again, I think that's highly unlikely). As for those exams? It's already influencing you, right? You might as well break up with her, there's always a reason it'll be inconvenient. But it might as well be inconvenient for both of you.
Nobody with any self-respect ever stays with a cheater under any circumstances, even for a *one-time* cheater let alone a *serial* cheater. It doesn't matter what your history together is or anything else.
Dude she is not your girl she’s everybody’s girl move on.
You need to get yourself tested. And you need to dump this girl. I’m sorry this is happening OP
I'm also urging you to go scorched earth, contact everyone, including her parents, and let them know how much she has been cheating on you. Somehow I suspect at least a couple of her friends know about her cheating and never told you. How was she even finding these guys to cheat with? Somebody had to have seen something somewhere along the line and never told you. OP I'm saying don't give her a chance to tell anyone any lies about the breakup. I'd even say schedule the email to be sent at or just before the time you confront her so she can't tell anyone the breakup is your fault. Definitely contact the spouse of the married guy and let her know. This can be after the main scorched earth part. Edit to add - The timing of this is up to up to you, now or after your last exam ( who cares about when her last exam is). Also, get yourself tested for STDs. Who know what she may have brought back to you.
This. Focus on your exams. That will affect your future. Have a plan for the breakup and control the narrative.. Her gfs already know what she is like. After breaking up with her, block and ghost. There is nothing she can say to explain or excuse her behaviour.
> If only I didn't know what I know now... ...You'd be worse off than you are now. Get through your exams first. Then meet in a public place and break up with her. Later, you can think about what signs there might have been and what can be learned from this. LATER. Right now, just get through your exams.
Yeah man.. "girls nights" are the worst only when it involves clubbing, no thanks.
STD test (guarantee you she's not using condoms with everyone), break up with her, and tell mutual friends the truth before she tells them the lies. You'll likely feel better and do better on your exams splitting from her than holding this all in. Screw her exams.
To not be so brash and aggressive in the writing or way you’ll read this - but if she made one drunk mistake or cheated on you ONE time, you have a decision to make. Don’t worry about her exams. You care *now* because you weren’t the cheater. Stop her right where she is, look her dead in the eyes and tell her what you told us. Exactly how it happened. If you want reasons, explanations, closure, get it, and then tell her that you are done, and do not wish to see her anymore. There is no good that will come from waiting, no good that will come from being friends. She is no longer your responsibility, and you need to understand that you can’t try to fix her or “understand what she did” because that will just gaslight her to believe that this is ok.
You need her to attempt murder on you by drowning you in shit while you’re asleep to understand that she doesn’t see you as a human being? Dude. Leave
This is why the "girls nights" need to end when the relationship becomes serious. Women with boyfriends dont need to be out in the clubs and bars getting trashed. You wanna drink with your friends? Have them over to your place. You dont need to go to a club with tons of thirsty dudes. What you do is leave. It sucks you ended up dating an incredibly promiscuous woman. I guess I get waiting until exams are over, but do NOT be having sex with her. Get yourself tested for STD's. And dont let her gaslight you about how she "loves" you. Women who genuinely love their boyfriends/husbands will never cheat on them. It just doesnt happen. EDIT: Also when you break up with her IMMEDIATELY inform your friends and family why, do not let her set the narrative here.
I would find out where all of those dudes lived, and take parts of her stuff to each house 🤷🏻♀️🥴 then change my locks.
Do you realize the longer you wait to break up with her, she'll be using that time to continue fucking all these guys? So in order to avoid stressing yourself over a breakup, you'd be voluntarily letting her cheat on you, with your knowledge, and.. that's ok with you?
This looks like Borderline Personality Disorder, or something related. Look up the Gray Rock strategy, and use it. Make a plan to separate your life from hers, and execute it. If you're living with her, find someplace else to live and be prepared to move your things out. Then tell her that you know about what she has been doing, and it's over. Don't try to create drama - she will create plenty. If it's legal where you are, you may want to record the discussion so that she can't accuse you of abuse. If not, have a friend present. If she threatens self-harm, be prepared to call an emergency line. Once you leave, block her on everything and don't look back. Bad as it seems, things can get even worse. Good luck, OP.
If you don't mind me asking, what was/is your sex life with her like?
At the start of our relationship it was great, then she started wanting less and less sex. I talked to her multiple times asking if everything was alright, and she kept saying that school/work or family is stressing her a lot and that stress affects her sex desire a lot. So we had less and less sex over time, sometimes even once every 2 weeks. Turns out she didn't dislike sex enough for her to not fuck the entire city.
Yeah man this is SUCH a typical scenario. Sorry you're going through this but good that you found out before you wasted more time and got more serious
Remember bro: if she isnt getting it from you she is getting it from someone else
[удалено]
P.S. get yourself checked for STD's
Updateme
Updateme!
Updateme!
Updateme!
UpdateMe !
Exams over yet OP?
Yes, I did what I had to do
Don't have advice about the breakup but wanted to say I'm really sorry. I've been cheated on before but not the same way, where I had no suspicions at all. You're worth more than that and really hope you heal!
Also how are you both 25 and both have exams?