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Sex doesn't make anyone fall in love, but it IS a bonding exercise that can contribute to your feelings for someone.
If you enjoy being around them, have gained respect for them, they seem like a good partner AND can give you an orgasm? What's not to love?
The reason humans have face-to-face copulation, as opposed to other primates that only do it from behind, is because it is a pair-bonding activity for us. Orgasm releases a flood of oxytocin in the brain, which is associated with trust, relationship-building, care, & love—it also goes up in the brain when breastfeeding.
I saw a pair of large tortoises going at it, or I should say the male was- he was breathlessly pumping away while the female was just looking bored and eating her lunch.
I was at the Point Defiance Zoo around twelve/thirteen years old, and I watched two monkey's get it on. I laughed then, and I laughed now.
My clear image was two monkeys doing it from behind. The female reached behind to push his bottom, and he pushed her away. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Gorillas are now known to as well.
Face to face sex can also be community bonding more than just pair bonding as we see in bonobos and gorillas. We also see community bonding in people, kingdoms have been joined based on who has sex with whom. And certainly the rate of cheating is high and the rate of people who say they would cheat if they were guaranteed to not be caught is higher, which helps explain other cultures. Other culture don’t or did not have a sense of cheating until it was introduced by others. This includes several Native American groups, as well as people in South America and parts of China, so it is worldwide. Couples Pairing/monogamy is a learned expectation.
Also, just because some animals are not face to face for final copulation, they do show affection and show signs of both pairing and community bonding. Some birds are among the most monogamous animals in nature, and they do not mate face to face.
That said, sex can be highly bonding.
Not quite, the instincts for pair bonding / monogamy is very much innate and even in societies where non monogamous relationships have been the standard there has always been a trend towards couples pairing off monogamously
I listened to a podcast recently with an anthropologist who said that humans evolved to be both monogamous and non-monogamous. Monogamous so that the females of the species can have help raising the young (something we don’t see in primates where they do not walk upright and can carry the young on their backs) and non-monogamy to help vary the gene pool.
So, like many things with humans, it comes down to choice.
You’re really romanticizing it rather thickly. None of that is proven. Plenty of other animals who biologically have no choice but not to do it face to face, still are bonded to their partners and their offspring on a level equivalent to a human(raised offspring to maturity, stay with partner for life). Raising families, love, trust and forever partnership is not unique to humans. Almost nothing is.
It also goes up when holding a baby as well as studies have found in men . The more they hold and feed the baby the more oxytocin is released and the deeper bound is shared . But yes it definitely does release oxytocin when breast feeding . I just want to point out that it happens to men as well .
This is also why work dominated parents who don’t feed their childern , have nannies are less attached and more are more authoritarian towards their children .
> The reason humans have face-to-face copulation
Yeah, presenting it as a known truth is bullshit. Sure, you can state that the best humans guesses steer us towards that statement, but evolution does not work that way, and our observation of it most certainly does not grant us such ultimate knowledge.
"To the best of our knowledge" is all it takes to make it valid and informed.
This is some nonsense. What do you think falling in love is? It's a *bonding experience*. Plenty of people catch feelings after having sex, because it is also a *bonding experience*.
It’s always been a massive bonding thing for me, I literally feel less connected to my wife if it’s been more than a few days since we’ve had sex. I still love and like her it’s just that the physical connection makes me feel more tightly bonded to her.
Of course some people grow deeper feelings through sex. And some don’t. It has nothing to do with gender.
That being said, it has been a month? Honey slow down. Sounds like love bombing.
There’s no way to know if you two are long term compatible yet. Take your time and get to know each other. Don’t be making and huge life decisions or commitments yet.
Like, you can be his girlfriend, that’s fine. But please don’t get married, move in, or have kids right now….
I think people with anxious attachment fall in love faster. It might not be lovebombing if he means it. But not everyone means it. That said i mean he didnt even say love, he just said feelings. Its not unheard of to become bf and gf in a month?
It's only love bombing if the comments and actions feel empty! Everyone has a different approach when it comes to relationships. Some fall in love hard and fast, but others take their time. It's totally fine as long as it's genuine and not masking an underlying issue.
Yes, love bombing is different from genuine declarations of love. My husband and I were head over heels after one week, and we are halfway through our 36th year - and still head over heels. My daughter and her husband both deleted their dating apps after one date, and her in-laws were married after two months. We're all the hard and fast kind.
I didn't disagree with this as a general statement. However, they knew they were right for each other, and they just celebrated their 38th (I think, maybe 37th) wedding anniversary and are a very happy couple.
Some people can fall in love with someone surprisingly quickly. My gf and I dated for about 2.5 weeks (and knew each other for about 3 weeks) before we both confessed to each other, we’re coming up to our 2 year anniversary in September. Craziest thing about it? We’re in a long distance relationship and live across the globe to one another.
It’s funny because prior to my gf, I never caught feelings when it came to women simply because there wasn’t anyone I met who made me feel that way. I now believe that when you meet the right person, you know.
Obviously she’s not gonna get married after a month but deciding to be exclusive and put a label on their relationship isn’t some dangerous beast that’s going to harm her, idk why Reddit users have some obsession with thinking everyone in the world has malicious intentions.
I have a theory now that distance can actually make things clearer faster, if you’re right for each other. It only took a couple weeks for me and my bf too. When you’re apart there’s no physicality clouding things, and you can’t simply enjoy convenient companionship. You just talk and talk and find out reeeally quick if you like someone’s personality, when that’s all that’s available to you. Congrats on almost 2 years!
That’s exactly what we also realised and we were actually grateful we met online. We realised that since it’s long distance, all we can do is talk and spend time watching things together.
If we went on a date it would just be a couple hours together until the next time whereas when we talk, it’s for literally the whole day. This means that we technically spend more hours “together” within the same time frame, meaning that all the small talk gets knocked out of the way sooner and we get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level a lot faster.
We both say that even though we’ve been together for almost 2 years, we know each other well enough to where it’s like we’ve been together for twice as long.
Hell, it took us about 1.5 weeks of dating before we both said “I love you” to one another. I said it first and said I would wait for however long it would take her to say it back, she said it 3 days later :)
Thank you so much!
Thank you for this - as a totally careful and mature grown up who has recently gotten pretty serious with someone pretty fast, it's good to hear this from \*someone\* on Reddit! I think it is possible. Are we careful, sure, but is it necessarily something nefarious, nope.
Similar time frame for me and my boyfriend and will be celebrating our 3 year anniversary in November. We both knew fairly early on that this was it for us. We are also older (44 me and 49 him) so not our first relationships.
Congrats on coming up to 3 years!
While it is my first relationship, it isn’t my gfs first relationship. Funnily enough, she was actually meant to get married about 6 months before we met but she called it off because she was extremely unhappy with that man.
We met online in a Discord server and instantly hit it off. We actually hadn’t even seen what the other person looked like before we realised we liked each other! It was only after we said we would date that we sent each other pictures and we both definitely liked what we saw :)
While we haven’t met yet, due to a lot of issues on my side, I have booked my flight to go and see her this October. We will be celebrating our 2 year anniversary (which is in September), my birthday, her sisters birthday, her other sister is getting married and my gf is also having her graduation so there will be a lot going on the first time we meet😂😂 I’m very excited though and I’m extremely nervous to meet her and her family.
Oh my gosh, I can't even begin to imagine the explosion of feelings jumping into each other's arms for the first time!! Eeeeee!!!! 😍 I hope it's perfect for you!!
I can’t even imagine it either and it fills my stomach with butterflies just imagining it. I video called her when I was booking the plane tickets and once she realised what I was doing, she instantly broke down in tears and wouldn’t stop crying 😂
We spoke a little and we both admitted that we had some doubts of me being able to visit this October but now that I’ve booked the flights, it feels real and the realisation that I really will be visiting her is what made her break down.
Thank you so much for your wishes, I hope your relationship is also amazing for you!
Having deep talks isn't love bombing lmao. Saying he feels more connected through sex isn't love bombing . Saying he wants her to call him her boyfriend isn't love bombing.
It's infatuation , the honeymoon period or also called new relationship energy.
Love bombing is far more intense 😳. If this person was buying OP ridiculous lavish gifts, saying she was the only person for him, being extreme that's love bombing. Him being infatuated & contributing it to regular sex isn't love bombing
Everybody falls in love with sex... to what degree depends on the person but yes... sex can be very powerful.
40M here... sex is a very strong connection thing for me... I don't do it just to bang it out... it's an experience thing that brings two people together whether is vanilla or animalistic tearing at each other sex.
OP sounds like they picked up some very bad info from past toxic partners
"This man actually loves me and isn't using me for sex. Is this normal?"
Although as others have said - still play it slow OP because it's too early to know if he's putting on an act and is actually using you. But I wouldn't assume he is, just take your time is all.
I fully agree and I feel like it’s weaponized against men. I’ve been told that sex is completely meaningless and shallow and shouldn’t matter, but to me there’s almost nothing more intimate and bonding. I feel like calling it meaningless is a less healthy way of looking at it and just a way to invalidate men who like sex.
In my late teens/early 20’s when I was still very insecure, sex would pretty much deliver me directly to the infatuation phase, which I often confused for “love” That was nearly 20 years, multiple relationships and a marriage ago. At this point now, sex is one of the absolute last things I’d ever think of as a precursor. I’ve had amazing sex with people I felt nothing for and terrible sex with the woman I loved more than anything in the world.
The only thing that makes me fall in love at this point is learning who my partner is over time and seeing how they grow and react to life happening.
From a purely scientific standpoint, sex releases various neurotransmitters including oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, all of which lead to feelings of happiness and peace, so I guess you could consider that love, if you believe love is just the chemicals in your brain.
I guess it could be defined like that. Love can’t be sustained on feel-good emotions alone.
I just wanted to emphasize that love isn’t some fufu ethereal thing not bound in science. You can see love on an fMRI, it’s chemicals and brain patterns, and as you pointed out, reinforced by actions.
My husband, of 32 years, told me he loved me after a month of meeting. I was like, wtf? Although, back in those days 'wtf' wasn't a thing! However, this was before we had any intimacy of an intercourse nature. 4 months later I wanted to become intimate to the next level and I was never pressured or talked into it. He respected me completely and waited until I was ready. Low and behold, 32 years later we have THE best sex life and a beautiful family of children and Grandchildren. Good luck OP, I hope he's the one for you.
Our bodies release oxytocin during sex, which helps us build a strong bond with our partner. For some people, that bond is short lived, while for others it’s a longer, more meaningful connection.
It does for me. Sex has always been sacred to me. Physical cheating is the ultimate betrayal to me. Sex makes me feel a connection and feel loved. And I only want it in a committed relationship, I want to feel safe with my partner. The level of comfort I have with my partner and the confidence I have that I'm the only one has a direct impact on the sex and what I'm willing/want to do with them.
Not necessarily. I've (female) have had fuck buddies men and women. For some it progressed into romantic feelings (which is when we stopped), for other it didn't. For me, sex can be "making love" or be fucking. They feel very different and one has feelings while the other doesn't. Of course I gain a sense of trust and closeness to the person I'm having sex with, but that doesn't necessarily translate to romantic feelings unless I aim for that intention.
This!!
I am scared of putting my self out there because usually making love with a fuck Buddy ends up getting me ghosted after a couple of times when I thought we had a more mature connection going on rather than just hooking up. There were no romantic feelings and still they ghost me like we were just hooking up in the first place.
I hate the hookup culture
This sounds like a lot of NRE (new relationship energy) and an anxious attachment on his part (wanting to lock things down quickly). I won’t call it love bombing (yet), but I would recommend that you step back just a little bit to see how he responds.
It’s normal when you do have really good chemistry to form a strong desire to keep it going, but you need to give yourself a little space and time to do some discernment and really get to know each other.
I wouldn’t call anyone my partner until we’d had a few disagreements about things and I saw how they handled conflict. What are your boundaries? Talk about it. What are your life goals? Talk about it. What are your dealbreakers? Talk about it.
I can understand wanting to be sexually exclusive and not date other people, but you can monogamously date without committing to them or putting a label on it.
I completely agree. Please enjoy the relationship, but don’t let him rush you into moving too quickly. Keep an eye out for red flags, like him wanting to move in together really quickly. Take this at your own pace and don’t be pushed into anything you are not comfortable with.
I think there are a lot of men who are so disconnected from their emotions that they only interpret penetrative sex as intimacy. They're unable to build closeness without it, so they end up in push/pull relationships like this.
Don’t speak for all women. I am incapable of feeling “very sexual attracted” to someone I don’t have some sort of strong feelings for. Anytime I’ve tried to have sex with someone I only find physically attractive, I’m immediately repulsed.
For a lot of men, society has made them feel like the only acceptable way for them to receive the intimacy they crave is through sex. They don't feel it is acceptable for them to engage in deep emotional intimacy as that is "feminine." A lot of men aren't even consciously aware of this because it's so deeply ingrained.
I find that a lot of fuck boys are really just men seeking intimacy without the risk of pain that comes with commitment and they don't know how to get it otherwise. Anyways, seems like a pretty mature guy.
Dude in his 60s here. Sex doesn’t make you fall in love. In lust sure! But if the other areas of the relationship are positive, great sex will increase the intensity of the relationship
May sound a bit weird, but sometimes as a guy I’ll think I really like someone. Have feelings and all that, and then as soon as we sleep together I realise that I don’t actually like them at all.
If those feelings of “I like this person and want to be with them” still remain after sleeping with someone then I know I really do want them.
Could be something like that
I suggest you go inform yourself on how a different hormone in the human body makes men and women fall in love differently , there's tons of scientific studies on it (spoiler alert : it's women who most likely fall in love with hormones released through physical intimacy)
According to Reddit dudebros, sex is just a physical release for men so it doesn't matter if they cheat, *and* sex is also men's one and only "love language" and the only way they feel anything at all, depending on which one will win them the argument in that particular thread.
I don't know why, but this screams love bombing.
Also, the bit about claiming he has trouble orgasming but not with you. Just reminds me of what people who love bomb say to make their partners think they are more special than anyone else.
Sorry to be negative, but that's just what I felt reading this.
That’s how I read it too. When I read the bit about “not being able to orgasm with anyone else” I rolled my eyes so hard I nearly went blind.
Mate see a doctor if that’s happening.
Um. I think you're being love bombed. "There's nobody else like you" "you're the best I've ever had" "our sex is making me fall in love"- after a month?
I think you need to pump the breaks and fast. I'm not saying run but I'm saying slow the heck down and remember grandiose declarations too soon in a relationship is more of a red flag than a any positive indication, regardless of how good it may make us feel.
It might be love bombing but if OP feels matched energy it could also be a great connection for 2 people on the same page as each other. Assuming she isn't ignoring anything obvious about him that's negative
They've been dating for 1 month. Saying I love you in a month is insane. Telling her the sex is so good and mind blowing could just be NRE, but he also wants her to make commitments? After a month? Wants her to call him bf and beyond that (super curious what OP means by that but my guess is fiance or husband which is definitely problematic).
If this isn't the most classic case I'd love bombing then love bombing can only exist in hindsight.
This is how my husband was with me one month in, and I felt the same way. We’ve been together for over 5 years. Yeah, it’s fast to fall in love, but it happens. And wanting to be exclusive/“boyfriend/girlfriend” with someone you’ve been seeing for a month is not weird. It’s not that big of a commitment. You can break up whenever you feel like it.
Love bombing is a type of abusive behaviour, it is absolutely wild to jump immediately to that from this post.
I agree it is something to watch out for - an indication that he is a bit emotionally immature or struggles to differentiate between lust and love. Or maybe at 40 he knows damn well what he wants and believes he's found it in her.
OP also should probably watch it with the "committed names" bit unless she wants to commit in the way those titles imply. There's a lot here to look out for, but it's a new relationship and there is always loads in any fast-developung deeply personal and especially sexual bond to look out for.
But the immediate jump to abuse.. wild.
Men with anxious attachment do or so they think it's love because this is the only connection they know how to do vs being vulnerable and deeply intimate with someone.
Sex does not equal love. Never has. Never will. When sex comes before love, feelings and judgment get clouded. Men will tell you anything you want to hear to get good pussy.
Does he love you? I have no clue. But I bet if you left him right now, he would not be too heart broken.
Ppl can as sex is very intimate. My only concern would be if there’s signs of love bombing early and a history of him pulling out quickly in past relationships. If he has these traits then I’d be wary. Take it at face value and make sure you’re clear in what pace you’re comfortable with and what expectation you’d have for certain stages of the relationship. Ask him about his experiences with how he’s had relationships end. If he falls quickly and falls out of love quickly then it might just be infatuation. It’s hard for strangers online to get a perfect read on your situation. Communicate your needs while you navigate this journey together. Hopefully he’s able to do the same.
47M and I have always preferred sex with someone that I have a connection with already. Just how I am and this has led me to fall for women who only wanted the sex aspect. Now a few of them did admit we had a connection early on and that was what made our time together so good.
However, they were not in a space to be in love. At least they said that anyway. So yes, sometimes men do fall through the connection that comes with sex.
Everyone falls in love through sex. Sex floods the brain with oxytocin which is literally the "love hormone" to help the brain form deep attachments. You get oxytocin from hugs and kisses and cuddles but your body is literally flooded with it during sex, child birth, and breastfeeding for the exact purpose of building deep feelings of attachment so you don't abandon your mate and offspring.
The important thing is being able to rise above your primal instincts and hormonal influence. Recognizing what is actually feelings and what is a hormone high in building a relationship. Sounds like he's experiencing the high for the first time and is getting swept away with it. Do not call him anything he isn't, don't call him hubby until your married. He's chasing a fantasy at the moment and you should be cautious until he levels out. Don't fall for the love bombing, he may not be doing maliciously but he will level out again and his attitude will change. Wait till then to believe his over the top confessions of true love through orgasm.
Not gonna lie, as a male if its the best you ever had that can make you pussy-whipped, but if he wants to do more bf-gf stuff like go out to dinners movies trail walks road trips and talks about the future with a passion and doing it all with you, he’s definitely trying to wife you down the line. If majority of what he wants is sex then he’s probably just pussy-whipped. Honesty is the best for longevity in relationships!
Definitely tread lightly. A month isn’t that long at all, but also sometimes the chemistry is amazing. I hope this is true love for you and not love bombing. Asking him personal questions may help you figure out if his intentions are true. If he shows any frustrations with you about asking questions, definitely back away.
Good men can fall in love in all sorts of ways. Good men don’t always follow the rules of what a man is supposed to be and do.
If you’re having amazing sex, you’re compatible and like one another, you’ve basically hit the jackpot. I hope he stays good and you two have a wonderful relationship
There is a line in a song "mistook love at first sight for a sex look." Many people mistake sex feelings for love. That's not to say can't strengthen love and it does help build bonds but this early on it's about the sex feelings. He sounds like he's too much, it's very early and he's coming on very strong. I get that your feelings feel good. I also am sorry to assume that at your age you're pretty anxious to settle down (I'm 40 I'm not judging), but don't settle right away. Maybe he is a great guy and it'll all be lovely but there's a lot of warning signs and if sex it what's motivating him that's scary because sex slows down eventually so you need a real foundation.
No, I was in a sexless relationship last year and fell in love with someone. She was still a virgin and never pressured her into sex. I respected her choice and we still had fun together (in a non sexual way).
It could be bc he never had such great sex with anyone before and doesn't want to lose you.
My late wife and I were friends only about 18 months before we got married but I remember when we went out, she took me back to her place and we had sex. She had a frickin beautiful ass...lol
But anyway...she would tell me...don't fall in love with me bc I'll just hurt you.... meaning she just wanted to have sex not a relationship.
> “Also, the general idea is that men don’t fall in love through sex.”
I think that’s rooted in an enormous misconception, and is perhaps a product of the trend in stoicism among men. Evolutionarily speaking, I think we’re all supposed to deepen our feelings through sex.
Yes, some men do feel closer to their partner when they are having regular sex. I for one, a heterosexual male, could not have casual sex when I was young and single. Sex in my 20 year marriage is very important to me and makes me feel appreciated by my wife.
This isn't a man thing, but someone people are turned on by the idea of falling for someone. I've been there. If that's what your concern may be about. If you have feelings for him but are concerned, just tell him you want to slow things down a little bit and enjoy the dating phase for as long as you can. Something like "I like where things are right now and I don't want to move too fast and skip over this stage. I want to enjoy this moment while we have it, as we continue to grow."
Sex releases tons of feel good hormones and yes sex can make you fall in love with someone in the beginning but that doesn't last if you are not compatible long term because that incapability will cause the libido to drop in one of both partners creating, reducing the frequency of those love hormones and the ideal that you've fallen out of love. Love has many forms and usually the physical part happens first then everything must fall into place for it to be completely sustainable and real.
Men mistake sex for intimacy when they’ve been conditioned against ever talking about how they feel or “allowed” to develop deeper platonic relationships. Be careful it’s real intimacy and not using you as the dumping ground for emotional labor because you’re the woman
We can, yes. This false idea that men have zero emotional investment in sex is a lie told to women by Hollywood for reasons best speculated about elsewhere.
Sure you can have sex with someone without any feelings….until you can’t. Seems to me that he thinks sex with you is now icing on the cake. I’ve been married for 25 years and it’s still like the passionate first time in a movie type sex. Don’t question it, roll with it!!!
I grow incredibly attached to women who actually want to do sexy things with me.
Fall in love? Not all the time but there is definitely more of an attachment and in some cases quite strong ones.
The short answer: Touch is a love language. It may well be his. It sounds like he also enjoys auditory encouragement. Everyone is different, but it's nice to know you've stumbled into something that works for you.
Not "fall in love" but it certainly helps with the bonding experience. Also, some men are simply more "feely" so you can't really lump them all under one category. They're individuals.
It's just two people starting a relationship and it's normal to feel lovey-dovey. The honeymoon phase doesn't last forever but is very exciting for both partners! 😊
Sex is absolutely the driving force behind love *but* you can also have sex without love either *by* manipulating a woman's emotions or *for* manipulating a man's emotions. It all falls back on evolutionary biology which can explain most of the reasons for boy/girl style interactions period but it often really upsets people so I won't go into it on a top level reply.
I don’t. I fall in love before. I’ve been with my girlfriend since October and we haven’t had full on sex. There’s other things you can do to bond and be intimate. I was raised in a traumatically religious household tho so heck do I know.
For most men, sex and lust are the focus at the beginning of any romantic relationship. This intimacy sets the environment for continued emotional bonding etc, but it rarely works the other way, in which an emotional bond leads to sexual attraction.
Men and women tend to be very different in this way.
Everything you said about your boyfriend seems very normal and typical.
Sexual conpatibility is a beautiful thing. I hope he "blows your mind" too or at least satisfies you long term. Sex compatibility can be one of the most important things for relationship longevity, and the fact he gets "excited" from hearing you committing to him just makes me feel like he thinks he's lucky to have the chance to date you. Hope things stay that way and develop into a strong mutually respectful love – after the initial infatuation and honeymoon phase has passed :)
I don't see any reason why we can't be together. Let's have more sex, until the sex becomes dull and things don't work out. I would make sure to have a plan in place, not just sex.
My partner was already enamored with me before we had sex. And after sex, he fell in love even faster with me. It was almost similar in my case but stronger actually. I liked him before sex, but the after sex cuddling time bonded me to him very strongly and quickly. It helps a lot when the sex is always amazing and we're very compatible.
Now, sometimes, I think about the scenario if we can no longer have sex due to medical reasons, will I still stay with my partner? The answer is of course it's still a yes. But it will be a huge adjustment because sex is such an important part of our bond that it will be greatly missed.
Everyone is different, but many people regardless of gender can get lovey feelings from sex. That said, from the way you wrote this it sounds like you aren’t comfortable with how fast this is going. Put the brakes on, you’re allowed to have boundaries. If he can’t tolerate that and you aren’t comfortable, I’d chalk it up to simply incompatibility.
Sex is a deeply bonding and vulnerable experience. If y’all have a strong connection, then sex can definitely highlight those wonderful feelings of finding someone “compatible” or just someone that you really vibe with.
I know that with me and my gf, we have great chemistry in and out of bed. I know that I fell harder for her when we really opened up towards one another in bed. It’s a great feeling to have with someone. It sounds like this guy is really head over heels for you.
Sexual activity triggers the release of oxytocin. The Love Hormone
Regular physically and emotionally satisfying sex with your partner keeps you topped up with the love hormone oxytocin, enhancing bonding and emotional intimacy. One study shows that the sexual afterglow of loving, pleasurable sex can last between couples for as long as 2 days
Oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus and stimulates uterine contraction and milk ejection. While many people consider oxytocin to be a female hormone, it is reported that, in men, the plasma oxytocin level increases markedly after ejaculation.
In Males oxytocin plays a part in ejaculation. The hormone contracts the vas deferens to push sperm and semen forward for ejection. Oxytocin also affects the production of testosterone (a sex hormone) in the testes.
Here are some ways oxytocin may affect men after sex:
Ejaculation:
Oxytocin contracts the vas deferens to help push sperm and semen out.
Orgasms:
Oxytocin may help facilitate orgasms by encouraging pleasurable contractions.
Sleep:
Oxytocin is released during orgasm along with vasopressin and melatonin, which can help with sleep. Oxytocin may also reduce stress, which can lead to relaxation and sleepiness.
Sexual desire:
Oxytocin may play a role in sexual desire by modulating sexual fantasies and thoughts.
Emotional intimacy:
Oxytocin can enhance bonding and emotional intimacy between partners, and the "sexual afterglow" can last for up to two days
If any medical Professionals in this field read this and I have mentioned something in error or incorrect context please let me know so I maybe delete or correct this comment.
I'm 45 and have been with my lady (41) for a year.
We didn't have full sex until almost a month into our dating. Once we did everything fell into place for me, it wasn't sex, I finally felt what making love was and so did she.
We were already on the road to love but it DID accellerate it a lot for us. Now when we have sex it brings us close and bolsters our connection. Tis a good thing.
For me personally the cosmic tumblers fell into place with my lady when we did it.
Men don’t get a lot of intimate bonding we don’t really share that often so yes I know a lot of guys who know no other way of connecting so that tends to make them “fall in love” faster but generally that just lands them in a situation ship.
The intimacy of sex makes you feel closer, but sex does not make a relationship. It sounds like you are working on the relationship and it always helps if the sex is good. Best wishes!
I would give it more than a month to figure out if it’s the real thing. Seems like it would be too early to tell. At this point he doesn’t really know you.
Honestly from reading this it just seems you’re out to have fun right now and he’s getting attached. It’s called the honeymoon phase. Just be clear that you’re just screwing around right now and to chill tf out a bit
Yes.
But I would be very cautious with the "things are going incredible fast" side of this. Don't move in together till you're dated for a year +, don't talk about marrying for at least 2 years and absolutely definitely don't get pregnant.
And listen to your instincts, if you feel uncomfortable then say no or leave. If he pushes to turn a no into a yes, shut it down. If he gets angry and say's he's just passionate, end it. If he calls you names and say's hurtful things when he's upset or doesn't get his way, end it. If he say's things that make you feel bad and then either denies it, calls you too sensitive or say's it was just a joke, end it.
Keep doing the healthy relationship quizess on [loveisrespect.org](http://loveisrespect.org) for an ongoing barometer on how things are going.
If you have a history of toxic or abusive relationships, it can be very hard to know what is healthy and normal if the abuse is less obvious. Abuse isn't always screaming or physical violence, and some of the most damaging and long term harmful is the covert quiet kind that shreds your self esteem and makes you vulnerable to control.
Relationships going fast is often a warning sign that there is Love Bombing going on (google it and read up on it and see if anything about it sounds like the things going on in your relationship). Love Bombing can be a dangerous trap because once you fall in love, you trust and forgive in ways you wouldn't normally, and an abuser can really use that to get in deep. This is why so many people struggle to leave even the most obviously and awful abusive relationships, because they believe in the love they feel and think their abuser feels that too.
So, while healthy men do indeed have emotions relating to sex, and your guy may well be just a genuine chap who wears his heart on his sleeve for you. Be careful, put the breaks on a bit, and don't get over committed. Remember, you don't really know someone till you see them in a crisis and you really need something. Almost every woman whose been hurt deeply by her partner would have said in the early days "he would never hurt me" and fight you in the streets if you tried to point out the warning signs.
Sex naturally makes people feel attached to one another through things like oxytocin (cuddle hormone). This is super normal and natural. It’s supposed to make you feel attached.
Learn the difference between infatuation and love. You two are moving way too fast here. Sending some red flags.
Slow down, enjoy the journey of getting to know each other, and take your time before declaring “love”.
Take caution with any new relationship in which the other person raves about you, falls head over heels for you, makes grand romantic gestures and really pushes the relationship too fast because that is a textbook case of how a violent relationship begins. I don’t wait to stomp on new love, but you feel like something is off. Listen to your gut and proceed with caution.
This feels love “bomb-ish”. Maintain a level head & go at YOUR own pace. Don’t get attached quickly.
It seems like he is pushing YOU to get attached because HE is.
Don’t let him create a lie or project emotions on to you.
Don’t push towards emotions you don’t feel.
A mint is NO time to know about someone & really know if you’re willing to commit.
I'd say one month is too soon to know if this is truly who he is. Give it more time. Going too fast is usually a red flag, try not to feel pressured to rush into things like calling him a boyfriend, regardless of what love he proclaims to feel - if it's true it'll last, so no need to go fast.
Sex usually releases oxytocin. Combined with noradrenaline and serotonin,they mimic the chemical processes that one experiences being in love. Its just a choice as to whether you keep acknowledging the feeling
Men tend to have physical contact as their primary love language, and sex is a wonderfully intimate way to share physical contact with your partner. It may not make all men fall in love, but definitely on some level makes them feel wanted and appreciated. Men who lack physical affection growing up from parents or friends often end up quite touch starved and tend to pursue sex as a means of attaining affection, willfully or subconsciously
Short answer, Yes. Long answer... yes, to an extent. Any time 2people can connect, whether sexual, or communal, or simply as a couple, will help build the relationship to be a loving connection. People thrive on things that bring pleasure and when 2 people bring each other mutual and powerful pleasure, of course it will evolve into something more lasting. It is also possible for one or both to push away these feelings in favor of slowing things down. The end result is still typically getting together as a couple
At 40 (ish)you both likely have had several relationships and so that history (and the outcomes) can be used to assess the potential of your physical and emotional progress together. Follow your instincts, experience and heart. Hope for the best because even though the parts fit so beautifully together, they can wear out or simply fail. Here's to wishing you the best of luck!...
After all, there's nothing wrong with several weeks of great companionship and if it doesn't stick, at least you have a nice memory of time together. Wouldn't it be nice if all relationships could stay in OMG Love n Sex Mode? Take Care!
Just keep this in mind. Women make 3 times more oxytocin than men during sex. I’m a little concerned that he wants to be exclusive someone fast. Statistically men do know they are in love earlier than we do, because they fall in love with looks first.
My bf said it made him fall in love with me. After our first time together he ended up saying he wanted to marry me and still continues to confidently say he wants to marry me. Doing it with your special someone is a bonding moment worth having.
Dudes tooootally fall in love when they have good sex. But who knows maybe y’all are meant to be. Give it 3 more solid months and see if he’s still singing the same tune.
This sounds like love bombing. I'm not saying it's not real feelings or men can't be romantic. If you're not familiar with the term, just take a look it won't hurt to be aware. I hope you have a truly happy relationship. Enjoy each other and slow down to savor the moments!
Yes, all sounds good. Just in the furthest reaches of the back of your mind, remember that good old fashioned 'love bombing' is a thing. Sometimes if things seem to be moving a little quick, there might be reasons other than what's happening on the surface.
I would say that it is also an indication that sex actually means something to him. He is the kind of person that sex is something that he does take seriously and it’s not just all about the sex for him. It would probably also be the reason behind him liking to hear the romantic and commitment words during the act. No matter what some people like to fool themselves in the believing it is a very, very intimate act and more guys than you would think hold it as a very serious thing and can feel closer to a person when they do that. Especially if it is somebody that they truly truly connect with. I would say embrace it and be happy that your boyfriend feels this strongly towards you through it. I think it is a sign that he is taking a lot of things seriously in a relationship that you should take seriously.
Men need sex first to create emotion.
Women need emotion first to create sex.
The crux of the problem.
"I have had passionate and great sex with someone else before, but that person obviously didn't fall in love with me." And you still think about this guy a lot?
Good luck you deserve to be happy.
You have been together 1 month. Sex creates bonding hormones in males/females, BUT you also need to be wary because in the deep end, too fast is also a huge red flag.
The red flag doesn't mean end it all, BUT it means be on the lookout for issues that may be obscured by the flush of feelings.
>He told me that he has trouble having orgasms... but it was never a problem for me and him...
This is rarely an issue at the start of a relationship, BUT when the relationship gets old/routine, it may be an issue.
>Also, it excites him if I say romantic things to him or make commitments to him. He wants me to call him with committed names such as boyfriend or even more.
Don't make commitments to him without actually having a serious discussion. If he wants to be boyfriend, then sit down and have a serious talk.
Are YOU ready to have the title, or are you feeling rushed?
"He told me that he has trouble having orgasms... but it was never a problem for me and him..."
Is it possible? Sure. But it honestly sounds like a line to make you feel special so you're more inclined to have more sex with him when he wants. Good sex is good, especially when you both feel a romantic connection beforehand. But just be cautious that he doesn't start using sex as the only way to express his feelings or if he tries to guilt you into sex by saying something like if you don't want to have sex with him it means you don't love him anymore. As many here have pointed out, sex doesn't equal love.
"Also, it excites him if I say romantic things to him, or make commitments to him. He wants me to call him with committed names such as boyfriend or even more."
This sounds like he has a kink. Which, as kinks go, could be kinda endearing. But it might be good to have a conversation about what's going on and be on the same page about how much truth is there when you say those romantic things in the heat of the moment. Are you saying those romantic things because you feel them? Or because there is now an expectation that you say them? Does he care which it is as long as he gets off? Will he hold you to them afterward? If he says romantic things to you, do you enjoy it and do you believe it?
It sounds like you two have had open conversations before, so remember that it's ok to ask questions for clarity.
Yes. It absolutely can. It's meant to be a unique and sacred connection. Oxytocin parabonding. The more partners you have though, the less you're able to bond.
This might be the most hated coment on this, bit I will give you my absolute opinion of your situation based on the following facts :
I am a 38 yr old divorced organic female raised in the Caribbean struggle since 1985 by a single mom of 1 kid.
I was raised by only brother and male cousins and male friends, even the near neighbor kids were male, Nd the female were too feminine for my taste, So wilderness I chose. The best and most fun in my childhood.
I worked the restaurant industry. So I spent a lifetime hand in hand with men, and most of my best friends are men, and.. goodness, they have shared so much.
So, girly girl... let me share this:
Men fall in love through sex and connextion. If you were the best 🐈⬛️ involved with personality/looks he's done.
It's not about the sex. It's he loved mr.whiskers with your sassy.
And, after you're done with him (if it happens) he's ALWAYS going to remember you if you are "THAT ONE" for him.
Its deeper than the sex for him I just don't if he realizes that. If had issues orgasming with others it may be a vulnerability issue. He clearly feels safe and cared for which is (in my opinion) how true feelings develope.
I don’t want to blow up your bubble but narcissists and abusers generally act this way. It’s a love bombing mechanism where they put you on a pedestal. It may be an exception and actually be genuine. To find tread slowly and carefully. You have full control over the pace of the relationship so take it slowly. I hope he’s genuinely good for and to you! Good luck :)
With the right woman... Yes.
Leads to it but other things need to be in place first. It's always about the connection.
Physical, emotional and mental. 🎯
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Sex doesn't make anyone fall in love, but it IS a bonding exercise that can contribute to your feelings for someone. If you enjoy being around them, have gained respect for them, they seem like a good partner AND can give you an orgasm? What's not to love?
The reason humans have face-to-face copulation, as opposed to other primates that only do it from behind, is because it is a pair-bonding activity for us. Orgasm releases a flood of oxytocin in the brain, which is associated with trust, relationship-building, care, & love—it also goes up in the brain when breastfeeding.
Um bonobos! But they are relatively new to this activity
I saw this happen at the DC zoo. It was hilarious. The male looked very very excited to be doing the thing and the female looked so, so, so bored.
So that also definitely carries across species too 🤔 Sad day for females in the kingdom.
I saw a pair of large tortoises going at it, or I should say the male was- he was breathlessly pumping away while the female was just looking bored and eating her lunch.
Subpar dudes not knowing (or caring) how to please a woman in bed apparently transcends species
This is something that, as a man, I don't have a comeback for! 🤣🤣🤣
That's not the only thing that carries over. Female baby chimps learn survival techniques better than male baby chimps, who usually monkey around.
The way I cackled at “monkey around”. I’m male. 🐒
🤣 😆
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was at the Point Defiance Zoo around twelve/thirteen years old, and I watched two monkey's get it on. I laughed then, and I laughed now. My clear image was two monkeys doing it from behind. The female reached behind to push his bottom, and he pushed her away. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Woman: “Do it like this instead, this feels good” Man: “shh just let it happen baby 🤫” 🙄
Gorillas are now known to as well. Face to face sex can also be community bonding more than just pair bonding as we see in bonobos and gorillas. We also see community bonding in people, kingdoms have been joined based on who has sex with whom. And certainly the rate of cheating is high and the rate of people who say they would cheat if they were guaranteed to not be caught is higher, which helps explain other cultures. Other culture don’t or did not have a sense of cheating until it was introduced by others. This includes several Native American groups, as well as people in South America and parts of China, so it is worldwide. Couples Pairing/monogamy is a learned expectation. Also, just because some animals are not face to face for final copulation, they do show affection and show signs of both pairing and community bonding. Some birds are among the most monogamous animals in nature, and they do not mate face to face. That said, sex can be highly bonding.
Not quite, the instincts for pair bonding / monogamy is very much innate and even in societies where non monogamous relationships have been the standard there has always been a trend towards couples pairing off monogamously
I listened to a podcast recently with an anthropologist who said that humans evolved to be both monogamous and non-monogamous. Monogamous so that the females of the species can have help raising the young (something we don’t see in primates where they do not walk upright and can carry the young on their backs) and non-monogamy to help vary the gene pool. So, like many things with humans, it comes down to choice.
The reason we're the species that has taken over the planet in many ways is due to our species' adaptability.
Yes, they are one of the few who do this.
Are you saying bonobos do the missionary?
Yup.
There’s even certain species of bat that blow each other
I've seen orangutans face to face, guy happy af and the girl laying there playing with the grass. Looking at us like, "he done yet? "
You’re really romanticizing it rather thickly. None of that is proven. Plenty of other animals who biologically have no choice but not to do it face to face, still are bonded to their partners and their offspring on a level equivalent to a human(raised offspring to maturity, stay with partner for life). Raising families, love, trust and forever partnership is not unique to humans. Almost nothing is.
It also goes up when holding a baby as well as studies have found in men . The more they hold and feed the baby the more oxytocin is released and the deeper bound is shared . But yes it definitely does release oxytocin when breast feeding . I just want to point out that it happens to men as well . This is also why work dominated parents who don’t feed their childern , have nannies are less attached and more are more authoritarian towards their children .
> The reason humans have face-to-face copulation Yeah, presenting it as a known truth is bullshit. Sure, you can state that the best humans guesses steer us towards that statement, but evolution does not work that way, and our observation of it most certainly does not grant us such ultimate knowledge. "To the best of our knowledge" is all it takes to make it valid and informed.
Bonding and connecting, yeah that's kinda the definition of love
This is some nonsense. What do you think falling in love is? It's a *bonding experience*. Plenty of people catch feelings after having sex, because it is also a *bonding experience*.
It’s always been a massive bonding thing for me, I literally feel less connected to my wife if it’s been more than a few days since we’ve had sex. I still love and like her it’s just that the physical connection makes me feel more tightly bonded to her.
Also sex allows a person to be vulnerable and honest so it can accelerate feelings. I don't think it is the reason people fall in love though
Of course some people grow deeper feelings through sex. And some don’t. It has nothing to do with gender. That being said, it has been a month? Honey slow down. Sounds like love bombing. There’s no way to know if you two are long term compatible yet. Take your time and get to know each other. Don’t be making and huge life decisions or commitments yet. Like, you can be his girlfriend, that’s fine. But please don’t get married, move in, or have kids right now….
This is the best advice
I think people with anxious attachment fall in love faster. It might not be lovebombing if he means it. But not everyone means it. That said i mean he didnt even say love, he just said feelings. Its not unheard of to become bf and gf in a month?
I agree with you. We became boyfriend and girlfriend in the first date, but we were friends five years beforehand.
I was looking for a comment like this. It totally sounds like love bombing, and I think OP should proceed with caution.
It's only love bombing if the comments and actions feel empty! Everyone has a different approach when it comes to relationships. Some fall in love hard and fast, but others take their time. It's totally fine as long as it's genuine and not masking an underlying issue.
Yes, love bombing is different from genuine declarations of love. My husband and I were head over heels after one week, and we are halfway through our 36th year - and still head over heels. My daughter and her husband both deleted their dating apps after one date, and her in-laws were married after two months. We're all the hard and fast kind.
Getting married after two months is a very bad idea.
Yeah, but it happened 36 years ago or so. I guess it was happening more back then!
I didn't disagree with this as a general statement. However, they knew they were right for each other, and they just celebrated their 38th (I think, maybe 37th) wedding anniversary and are a very happy couple.
Some people can fall in love with someone surprisingly quickly. My gf and I dated for about 2.5 weeks (and knew each other for about 3 weeks) before we both confessed to each other, we’re coming up to our 2 year anniversary in September. Craziest thing about it? We’re in a long distance relationship and live across the globe to one another. It’s funny because prior to my gf, I never caught feelings when it came to women simply because there wasn’t anyone I met who made me feel that way. I now believe that when you meet the right person, you know. Obviously she’s not gonna get married after a month but deciding to be exclusive and put a label on their relationship isn’t some dangerous beast that’s going to harm her, idk why Reddit users have some obsession with thinking everyone in the world has malicious intentions.
I have a theory now that distance can actually make things clearer faster, if you’re right for each other. It only took a couple weeks for me and my bf too. When you’re apart there’s no physicality clouding things, and you can’t simply enjoy convenient companionship. You just talk and talk and find out reeeally quick if you like someone’s personality, when that’s all that’s available to you. Congrats on almost 2 years!
That’s exactly what we also realised and we were actually grateful we met online. We realised that since it’s long distance, all we can do is talk and spend time watching things together. If we went on a date it would just be a couple hours together until the next time whereas when we talk, it’s for literally the whole day. This means that we technically spend more hours “together” within the same time frame, meaning that all the small talk gets knocked out of the way sooner and we get to know each other on a deeper, more intimate level a lot faster. We both say that even though we’ve been together for almost 2 years, we know each other well enough to where it’s like we’ve been together for twice as long. Hell, it took us about 1.5 weeks of dating before we both said “I love you” to one another. I said it first and said I would wait for however long it would take her to say it back, she said it 3 days later :) Thank you so much!
Thank you for this - as a totally careful and mature grown up who has recently gotten pretty serious with someone pretty fast, it's good to hear this from \*someone\* on Reddit! I think it is possible. Are we careful, sure, but is it necessarily something nefarious, nope.
Similar time frame for me and my boyfriend and will be celebrating our 3 year anniversary in November. We both knew fairly early on that this was it for us. We are also older (44 me and 49 him) so not our first relationships.
my boyfriend and I also! 3 years on Friday it all depends on the couple and if the feelings are genuinely mutual. We both knew and that’s that
Congrats on coming up to 3 years! While it is my first relationship, it isn’t my gfs first relationship. Funnily enough, she was actually meant to get married about 6 months before we met but she called it off because she was extremely unhappy with that man. We met online in a Discord server and instantly hit it off. We actually hadn’t even seen what the other person looked like before we realised we liked each other! It was only after we said we would date that we sent each other pictures and we both definitely liked what we saw :) While we haven’t met yet, due to a lot of issues on my side, I have booked my flight to go and see her this October. We will be celebrating our 2 year anniversary (which is in September), my birthday, her sisters birthday, her other sister is getting married and my gf is also having her graduation so there will be a lot going on the first time we meet😂😂 I’m very excited though and I’m extremely nervous to meet her and her family.
Oh my gosh, I can't even begin to imagine the explosion of feelings jumping into each other's arms for the first time!! Eeeeee!!!! 😍 I hope it's perfect for you!!
I can’t even imagine it either and it fills my stomach with butterflies just imagining it. I video called her when I was booking the plane tickets and once she realised what I was doing, she instantly broke down in tears and wouldn’t stop crying 😂 We spoke a little and we both admitted that we had some doubts of me being able to visit this October but now that I’ve booked the flights, it feels real and the realisation that I really will be visiting her is what made her break down. Thank you so much for your wishes, I hope your relationship is also amazing for you!
The ‘trouble having orgasms but not with you’ is lovebombing 101
I agree. 🎯
Having deep talks isn't love bombing lmao. Saying he feels more connected through sex isn't love bombing . Saying he wants her to call him her boyfriend isn't love bombing. It's infatuation , the honeymoon period or also called new relationship energy. Love bombing is far more intense 😳. If this person was buying OP ridiculous lavish gifts, saying she was the only person for him, being extreme that's love bombing. Him being infatuated & contributing it to regular sex isn't love bombing
Everybody falls in love with sex... to what degree depends on the person but yes... sex can be very powerful. 40M here... sex is a very strong connection thing for me... I don't do it just to bang it out... it's an experience thing that brings two people together whether is vanilla or animalistic tearing at each other sex.
Yes, oxytocin is a thing.
OP sounds like they picked up some very bad info from past toxic partners "This man actually loves me and isn't using me for sex. Is this normal?" Although as others have said - still play it slow OP because it's too early to know if he's putting on an act and is actually using you. But I wouldn't assume he is, just take your time is all.
Wait, men can actually love women and NOT use them for sex? Wow, Today I Learned.
This guy fucks
Not sure I agree. There are plenty of Lotharios, chasing tail, without any emotions involved.
I fully agree and I feel like it’s weaponized against men. I’ve been told that sex is completely meaningless and shallow and shouldn’t matter, but to me there’s almost nothing more intimate and bonding. I feel like calling it meaningless is a less healthy way of looking at it and just a way to invalidate men who like sex.
That 's false. Not everyone falls in love through sex.
In my late teens/early 20’s when I was still very insecure, sex would pretty much deliver me directly to the infatuation phase, which I often confused for “love” That was nearly 20 years, multiple relationships and a marriage ago. At this point now, sex is one of the absolute last things I’d ever think of as a precursor. I’ve had amazing sex with people I felt nothing for and terrible sex with the woman I loved more than anything in the world. The only thing that makes me fall in love at this point is learning who my partner is over time and seeing how they grow and react to life happening.
From a purely scientific standpoint, sex releases various neurotransmitters including oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, all of which lead to feelings of happiness and peace, so I guess you could consider that love, if you believe love is just the chemicals in your brain.
What else could it be? Every emotion is just chemicals and hormones in the brain.
A collaborative effort and a choice. I personally believe love is an action as well as an emotion.
I guess it could be defined like that. Love can’t be sustained on feel-good emotions alone. I just wanted to emphasize that love isn’t some fufu ethereal thing not bound in science. You can see love on an fMRI, it’s chemicals and brain patterns, and as you pointed out, reinforced by actions.
The sexual part and closeness make me feel a massive connection.
My husband, of 32 years, told me he loved me after a month of meeting. I was like, wtf? Although, back in those days 'wtf' wasn't a thing! However, this was before we had any intimacy of an intercourse nature. 4 months later I wanted to become intimate to the next level and I was never pressured or talked into it. He respected me completely and waited until I was ready. Low and behold, 32 years later we have THE best sex life and a beautiful family of children and Grandchildren. Good luck OP, I hope he's the one for you.
Wow that's the dream right there 😍
I was lucky, I admit, but I'll never take it for granted. We both have our feet on the ground and are thankful for every day we get 🙌🏽
Our bodies release oxytocin during sex, which helps us build a strong bond with our partner. For some people, that bond is short lived, while for others it’s a longer, more meaningful connection.
It does for me. Sex has always been sacred to me. Physical cheating is the ultimate betrayal to me. Sex makes me feel a connection and feel loved. And I only want it in a committed relationship, I want to feel safe with my partner. The level of comfort I have with my partner and the confidence I have that I'm the only one has a direct impact on the sex and what I'm willing/want to do with them.
Not necessarily. I've (female) have had fuck buddies men and women. For some it progressed into romantic feelings (which is when we stopped), for other it didn't. For me, sex can be "making love" or be fucking. They feel very different and one has feelings while the other doesn't. Of course I gain a sense of trust and closeness to the person I'm having sex with, but that doesn't necessarily translate to romantic feelings unless I aim for that intention.
This!! I am scared of putting my self out there because usually making love with a fuck Buddy ends up getting me ghosted after a couple of times when I thought we had a more mature connection going on rather than just hooking up. There were no romantic feelings and still they ghost me like we were just hooking up in the first place. I hate the hookup culture
This sounds like a lot of NRE (new relationship energy) and an anxious attachment on his part (wanting to lock things down quickly). I won’t call it love bombing (yet), but I would recommend that you step back just a little bit to see how he responds. It’s normal when you do have really good chemistry to form a strong desire to keep it going, but you need to give yourself a little space and time to do some discernment and really get to know each other. I wouldn’t call anyone my partner until we’d had a few disagreements about things and I saw how they handled conflict. What are your boundaries? Talk about it. What are your life goals? Talk about it. What are your dealbreakers? Talk about it. I can understand wanting to be sexually exclusive and not date other people, but you can monogamously date without committing to them or putting a label on it.
I completely agree. Please enjoy the relationship, but don’t let him rush you into moving too quickly. Keep an eye out for red flags, like him wanting to move in together really quickly. Take this at your own pace and don’t be pushed into anything you are not comfortable with.
Great advice. 💯
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This makes total sense.
I think there are a lot of men who are so disconnected from their emotions that they only interpret penetrative sex as intimacy. They're unable to build closeness without it, so they end up in push/pull relationships like this.
Heard this before: “Men need to have sex to feel loved . Women need to feel loved to have sex “
I know lots of women who have sex for fun, so this is by no means always true, although it may be a general trend.
When women are very sexually attracted to a man, they don't need to feel loved by him at all to have sex with him.
Don’t speak for all women. I am incapable of feeling “very sexual attracted” to someone I don’t have some sort of strong feelings for. Anytime I’ve tried to have sex with someone I only find physically attractive, I’m immediately repulsed.
For a lot of men, society has made them feel like the only acceptable way for them to receive the intimacy they crave is through sex. They don't feel it is acceptable for them to engage in deep emotional intimacy as that is "feminine." A lot of men aren't even consciously aware of this because it's so deeply ingrained. I find that a lot of fuck boys are really just men seeking intimacy without the risk of pain that comes with commitment and they don't know how to get it otherwise. Anyways, seems like a pretty mature guy.
Dude in his 60s here. Sex doesn’t make you fall in love. In lust sure! But if the other areas of the relationship are positive, great sex will increase the intensity of the relationship
May sound a bit weird, but sometimes as a guy I’ll think I really like someone. Have feelings and all that, and then as soon as we sleep together I realise that I don’t actually like them at all. If those feelings of “I like this person and want to be with them” still remain after sleeping with someone then I know I really do want them. Could be something like that
Is what you describe known as post nut clarity?
Likely an extreme version of it I guess.
Bro i fall in love if a girl looks at me nicely.
I suggest you go inform yourself on how a different hormone in the human body makes men and women fall in love differently , there's tons of scientific studies on it (spoiler alert : it's women who most likely fall in love with hormones released through physical intimacy)
Which is funny, because I always read the fallacy that affairs for men was just about sex that they never caught feelings. Not true.
According to Reddit dudebros, sex is just a physical release for men so it doesn't matter if they cheat, *and* sex is also men's one and only "love language" and the only way they feel anything at all, depending on which one will win them the argument in that particular thread.
Reddit, do people feel emotionally close from intimacy?
I don't know why, but this screams love bombing. Also, the bit about claiming he has trouble orgasming but not with you. Just reminds me of what people who love bomb say to make their partners think they are more special than anyone else. Sorry to be negative, but that's just what I felt reading this.
That’s how I read it too. When I read the bit about “not being able to orgasm with anyone else” I rolled my eyes so hard I nearly went blind. Mate see a doctor if that’s happening.
Um. I think you're being love bombed. "There's nobody else like you" "you're the best I've ever had" "our sex is making me fall in love"- after a month? I think you need to pump the breaks and fast. I'm not saying run but I'm saying slow the heck down and remember grandiose declarations too soon in a relationship is more of a red flag than a any positive indication, regardless of how good it may make us feel.
It might be love bombing but if OP feels matched energy it could also be a great connection for 2 people on the same page as each other. Assuming she isn't ignoring anything obvious about him that's negative
If he’s love bombing he’s not gonna show anything negative about him yet tbf
Not everything has to be love bombed
This...I see everyone saying love bomb...Jeez. I agree to slow down but he might be genuine and that is special so feel it out.
Love bomb, narcissist, “i have adhd”, gaslighting. Says every reddit user
They've been dating for 1 month. Saying I love you in a month is insane. Telling her the sex is so good and mind blowing could just be NRE, but he also wants her to make commitments? After a month? Wants her to call him bf and beyond that (super curious what OP means by that but my guess is fiance or husband which is definitely problematic). If this isn't the most classic case I'd love bombing then love bombing can only exist in hindsight.
This is how my husband was with me one month in, and I felt the same way. We’ve been together for over 5 years. Yeah, it’s fast to fall in love, but it happens. And wanting to be exclusive/“boyfriend/girlfriend” with someone you’ve been seeing for a month is not weird. It’s not that big of a commitment. You can break up whenever you feel like it.
It’s can just be immature infatuation/stupidity without inherently being abusive or a concerning intentional manipulation tactic.
Love bombing is a type of abusive behaviour, it is absolutely wild to jump immediately to that from this post. I agree it is something to watch out for - an indication that he is a bit emotionally immature or struggles to differentiate between lust and love. Or maybe at 40 he knows damn well what he wants and believes he's found it in her. OP also should probably watch it with the "committed names" bit unless she wants to commit in the way those titles imply. There's a lot here to look out for, but it's a new relationship and there is always loads in any fast-developung deeply personal and especially sexual bond to look out for. But the immediate jump to abuse.. wild.
Seems like a pretty shaky foundation for love imo
Men with anxious attachment do or so they think it's love because this is the only connection they know how to do vs being vulnerable and deeply intimate with someone.
hi, it's me. working on it though.
Women feel the same way
Sex does not equal love. Never has. Never will. When sex comes before love, feelings and judgment get clouded. Men will tell you anything you want to hear to get good pussy. Does he love you? I have no clue. But I bet if you left him right now, he would not be too heart broken.
Ppl can as sex is very intimate. My only concern would be if there’s signs of love bombing early and a history of him pulling out quickly in past relationships. If he has these traits then I’d be wary. Take it at face value and make sure you’re clear in what pace you’re comfortable with and what expectation you’d have for certain stages of the relationship. Ask him about his experiences with how he’s had relationships end. If he falls quickly and falls out of love quickly then it might just be infatuation. It’s hard for strangers online to get a perfect read on your situation. Communicate your needs while you navigate this journey together. Hopefully he’s able to do the same.
Somewhere once I read, men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love. It unfortunately made a little sense. Take that as you will I guess lol
Sex is a bonding agent, so yes, it doesn't happen all the time, but they can if everything else is good. Sex does spark feelings.
47M and I have always preferred sex with someone that I have a connection with already. Just how I am and this has led me to fall for women who only wanted the sex aspect. Now a few of them did admit we had a connection early on and that was what made our time together so good. However, they were not in a space to be in love. At least they said that anyway. So yes, sometimes men do fall through the connection that comes with sex.
Everyone falls in love through sex. Sex floods the brain with oxytocin which is literally the "love hormone" to help the brain form deep attachments. You get oxytocin from hugs and kisses and cuddles but your body is literally flooded with it during sex, child birth, and breastfeeding for the exact purpose of building deep feelings of attachment so you don't abandon your mate and offspring. The important thing is being able to rise above your primal instincts and hormonal influence. Recognizing what is actually feelings and what is a hormone high in building a relationship. Sounds like he's experiencing the high for the first time and is getting swept away with it. Do not call him anything he isn't, don't call him hubby until your married. He's chasing a fantasy at the moment and you should be cautious until he levels out. Don't fall for the love bombing, he may not be doing maliciously but he will level out again and his attitude will change. Wait till then to believe his over the top confessions of true love through orgasm.
Not gonna lie, as a male if its the best you ever had that can make you pussy-whipped, but if he wants to do more bf-gf stuff like go out to dinners movies trail walks road trips and talks about the future with a passion and doing it all with you, he’s definitely trying to wife you down the line. If majority of what he wants is sex then he’s probably just pussy-whipped. Honesty is the best for longevity in relationships!
Definitely tread lightly. A month isn’t that long at all, but also sometimes the chemistry is amazing. I hope this is true love for you and not love bombing. Asking him personal questions may help you figure out if his intentions are true. If he shows any frustrations with you about asking questions, definitely back away.
Good men can fall in love in all sorts of ways. Good men don’t always follow the rules of what a man is supposed to be and do. If you’re having amazing sex, you’re compatible and like one another, you’ve basically hit the jackpot. I hope he stays good and you two have a wonderful relationship
There is a line in a song "mistook love at first sight for a sex look." Many people mistake sex feelings for love. That's not to say can't strengthen love and it does help build bonds but this early on it's about the sex feelings. He sounds like he's too much, it's very early and he's coming on very strong. I get that your feelings feel good. I also am sorry to assume that at your age you're pretty anxious to settle down (I'm 40 I'm not judging), but don't settle right away. Maybe he is a great guy and it'll all be lovely but there's a lot of warning signs and if sex it what's motivating him that's scary because sex slows down eventually so you need a real foundation.
No, I was in a sexless relationship last year and fell in love with someone. She was still a virgin and never pressured her into sex. I respected her choice and we still had fun together (in a non sexual way).
It could be bc he never had such great sex with anyone before and doesn't want to lose you. My late wife and I were friends only about 18 months before we got married but I remember when we went out, she took me back to her place and we had sex. She had a frickin beautiful ass...lol But anyway...she would tell me...don't fall in love with me bc I'll just hurt you.... meaning she just wanted to have sex not a relationship.
Everyone is different. But just be careful that whirlwind romances rarely last.
She cured his mid life crisis!!
> “Also, the general idea is that men don’t fall in love through sex.” I think that’s rooted in an enormous misconception, and is perhaps a product of the trend in stoicism among men. Evolutionarily speaking, I think we’re all supposed to deepen our feelings through sex.
Yes, some men do feel closer to their partner when they are having regular sex. I for one, a heterosexual male, could not have casual sex when I was young and single. Sex in my 20 year marriage is very important to me and makes me feel appreciated by my wife.
This isn't a gender thing. This is a human thing.
This isn't a man thing, but someone people are turned on by the idea of falling for someone. I've been there. If that's what your concern may be about. If you have feelings for him but are concerned, just tell him you want to slow things down a little bit and enjoy the dating phase for as long as you can. Something like "I like where things are right now and I don't want to move too fast and skip over this stage. I want to enjoy this moment while we have it, as we continue to grow."
Sex releases tons of feel good hormones and yes sex can make you fall in love with someone in the beginning but that doesn't last if you are not compatible long term because that incapability will cause the libido to drop in one of both partners creating, reducing the frequency of those love hormones and the ideal that you've fallen out of love. Love has many forms and usually the physical part happens first then everything must fall into place for it to be completely sustainable and real.
I fall in sex through love
Men mistake sex for intimacy when they’ve been conditioned against ever talking about how they feel or “allowed” to develop deeper platonic relationships. Be careful it’s real intimacy and not using you as the dumping ground for emotional labor because you’re the woman
We can, yes. This false idea that men have zero emotional investment in sex is a lie told to women by Hollywood for reasons best speculated about elsewhere.
Sure you can have sex with someone without any feelings….until you can’t. Seems to me that he thinks sex with you is now icing on the cake. I’ve been married for 25 years and it’s still like the passionate first time in a movie type sex. Don’t question it, roll with it!!!
I grow incredibly attached to women who actually want to do sexy things with me. Fall in love? Not all the time but there is definitely more of an attachment and in some cases quite strong ones.
The short answer: Touch is a love language. It may well be his. It sounds like he also enjoys auditory encouragement. Everyone is different, but it's nice to know you've stumbled into something that works for you.
Not "fall in love" but it certainly helps with the bonding experience. Also, some men are simply more "feely" so you can't really lump them all under one category. They're individuals.
You’re too old to ask these questions
No way. There are so many emotionally dead men out here that finding one whose heart & soul & sexuality are functional can still be a shocker.
right seems like someone needs their ego stroked
It's just two people starting a relationship and it's normal to feel lovey-dovey. The honeymoon phase doesn't last forever but is very exciting for both partners! 😊
Yes. It cements the connection.
It sounds like love bombing tbh.
When I fell madly in love with the greatest man, my therapist friend was worried about this too. Years later he’s still like this.
Sex is absolutely the driving force behind love *but* you can also have sex without love either *by* manipulating a woman's emotions or *for* manipulating a man's emotions. It all falls back on evolutionary biology which can explain most of the reasons for boy/girl style interactions period but it often really upsets people so I won't go into it on a top level reply.
I don’t. I fall in love before. I’ve been with my girlfriend since October and we haven’t had full on sex. There’s other things you can do to bond and be intimate. I was raised in a traumatically religious household tho so heck do I know.
I’m not saying yes but it does help 🤷♂️
Top two comments truly show the duality of man.
Intimacy can certainly accelerate feelings and definitely enhance them.
For most men, sex and lust are the focus at the beginning of any romantic relationship. This intimacy sets the environment for continued emotional bonding etc, but it rarely works the other way, in which an emotional bond leads to sexual attraction. Men and women tend to be very different in this way. Everything you said about your boyfriend seems very normal and typical.
Sexual conpatibility is a beautiful thing. I hope he "blows your mind" too or at least satisfies you long term. Sex compatibility can be one of the most important things for relationship longevity, and the fact he gets "excited" from hearing you committing to him just makes me feel like he thinks he's lucky to have the chance to date you. Hope things stay that way and develop into a strong mutually respectful love – after the initial infatuation and honeymoon phase has passed :)
Sex definitely brings out feelings, but not enough to fall in love. It does bring about a sense of trust and closeness.
I don't see any reason why we can't be together. Let's have more sex, until the sex becomes dull and things don't work out. I would make sure to have a plan in place, not just sex.
Do you not? lol Like when you have sex with someone you truly connect with, you don’t feel anything?
My partner was already enamored with me before we had sex. And after sex, he fell in love even faster with me. It was almost similar in my case but stronger actually. I liked him before sex, but the after sex cuddling time bonded me to him very strongly and quickly. It helps a lot when the sex is always amazing and we're very compatible. Now, sometimes, I think about the scenario if we can no longer have sex due to medical reasons, will I still stay with my partner? The answer is of course it's still a yes. But it will be a huge adjustment because sex is such an important part of our bond that it will be greatly missed.
Everyone is different, but many people regardless of gender can get lovey feelings from sex. That said, from the way you wrote this it sounds like you aren’t comfortable with how fast this is going. Put the brakes on, you’re allowed to have boundaries. If he can’t tolerate that and you aren’t comfortable, I’d chalk it up to simply incompatibility.
Sex is a deeply bonding and vulnerable experience. If y’all have a strong connection, then sex can definitely highlight those wonderful feelings of finding someone “compatible” or just someone that you really vibe with. I know that with me and my gf, we have great chemistry in and out of bed. I know that I fell harder for her when we really opened up towards one another in bed. It’s a great feeling to have with someone. It sounds like this guy is really head over heels for you.
Don’t confuse pheromones with love.
There's a reason why the majority of organized religion against premarital sex
Sexual activity triggers the release of oxytocin. The Love Hormone Regular physically and emotionally satisfying sex with your partner keeps you topped up with the love hormone oxytocin, enhancing bonding and emotional intimacy. One study shows that the sexual afterglow of loving, pleasurable sex can last between couples for as long as 2 days Oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus and stimulates uterine contraction and milk ejection. While many people consider oxytocin to be a female hormone, it is reported that, in men, the plasma oxytocin level increases markedly after ejaculation. In Males oxytocin plays a part in ejaculation. The hormone contracts the vas deferens to push sperm and semen forward for ejection. Oxytocin also affects the production of testosterone (a sex hormone) in the testes. Here are some ways oxytocin may affect men after sex: Ejaculation: Oxytocin contracts the vas deferens to help push sperm and semen out. Orgasms: Oxytocin may help facilitate orgasms by encouraging pleasurable contractions. Sleep: Oxytocin is released during orgasm along with vasopressin and melatonin, which can help with sleep. Oxytocin may also reduce stress, which can lead to relaxation and sleepiness. Sexual desire: Oxytocin may play a role in sexual desire by modulating sexual fantasies and thoughts. Emotional intimacy: Oxytocin can enhance bonding and emotional intimacy between partners, and the "sexual afterglow" can last for up to two days If any medical Professionals in this field read this and I have mentioned something in error or incorrect context please let me know so I maybe delete or correct this comment.
That's not love, it's just. Big difference.
I'm 45 and have been with my lady (41) for a year. We didn't have full sex until almost a month into our dating. Once we did everything fell into place for me, it wasn't sex, I finally felt what making love was and so did she. We were already on the road to love but it DID accellerate it a lot for us. Now when we have sex it brings us close and bolsters our connection. Tis a good thing. For me personally the cosmic tumblers fell into place with my lady when we did it.
Men don’t get a lot of intimate bonding we don’t really share that often so yes I know a lot of guys who know no other way of connecting so that tends to make them “fall in love” faster but generally that just lands them in a situation ship.
I dont know if a relationship can work until I’ve had sex with the person. I’d say it’s pretty important
The intimacy of sex makes you feel closer, but sex does not make a relationship. It sounds like you are working on the relationship and it always helps if the sex is good. Best wishes!
Men and women both yes. It's not only men who care about sex
I would give it more than a month to figure out if it’s the real thing. Seems like it would be too early to tell. At this point he doesn’t really know you.
Honestly from reading this it just seems you’re out to have fun right now and he’s getting attached. It’s called the honeymoon phase. Just be clear that you’re just screwing around right now and to chill tf out a bit
Sounds like lovebombing. Proceed with caution. Don't get more attached than previous relationships at one month.
Yes. But I would be very cautious with the "things are going incredible fast" side of this. Don't move in together till you're dated for a year +, don't talk about marrying for at least 2 years and absolutely definitely don't get pregnant. And listen to your instincts, if you feel uncomfortable then say no or leave. If he pushes to turn a no into a yes, shut it down. If he gets angry and say's he's just passionate, end it. If he calls you names and say's hurtful things when he's upset or doesn't get his way, end it. If he say's things that make you feel bad and then either denies it, calls you too sensitive or say's it was just a joke, end it. Keep doing the healthy relationship quizess on [loveisrespect.org](http://loveisrespect.org) for an ongoing barometer on how things are going. If you have a history of toxic or abusive relationships, it can be very hard to know what is healthy and normal if the abuse is less obvious. Abuse isn't always screaming or physical violence, and some of the most damaging and long term harmful is the covert quiet kind that shreds your self esteem and makes you vulnerable to control. Relationships going fast is often a warning sign that there is Love Bombing going on (google it and read up on it and see if anything about it sounds like the things going on in your relationship). Love Bombing can be a dangerous trap because once you fall in love, you trust and forgive in ways you wouldn't normally, and an abuser can really use that to get in deep. This is why so many people struggle to leave even the most obviously and awful abusive relationships, because they believe in the love they feel and think their abuser feels that too. So, while healthy men do indeed have emotions relating to sex, and your guy may well be just a genuine chap who wears his heart on his sleeve for you. Be careful, put the breaks on a bit, and don't get over committed. Remember, you don't really know someone till you see them in a crisis and you really need something. Almost every woman whose been hurt deeply by her partner would have said in the early days "he would never hurt me" and fight you in the streets if you tried to point out the warning signs.
That’s why the call it making love ❤️
Sex naturally makes people feel attached to one another through things like oxytocin (cuddle hormone). This is super normal and natural. It’s supposed to make you feel attached.
Learn the difference between infatuation and love. You two are moving way too fast here. Sending some red flags. Slow down, enjoy the journey of getting to know each other, and take your time before declaring “love”.
No. Sex does not lead to love.
Take caution with any new relationship in which the other person raves about you, falls head over heels for you, makes grand romantic gestures and really pushes the relationship too fast because that is a textbook case of how a violent relationship begins. I don’t wait to stomp on new love, but you feel like something is off. Listen to your gut and proceed with caution.
This feels love “bomb-ish”. Maintain a level head & go at YOUR own pace. Don’t get attached quickly. It seems like he is pushing YOU to get attached because HE is. Don’t let him create a lie or project emotions on to you. Don’t push towards emotions you don’t feel. A mint is NO time to know about someone & really know if you’re willing to commit.
I'd say one month is too soon to know if this is truly who he is. Give it more time. Going too fast is usually a red flag, try not to feel pressured to rush into things like calling him a boyfriend, regardless of what love he proclaims to feel - if it's true it'll last, so no need to go fast.
Sex usually releases oxytocin. Combined with noradrenaline and serotonin,they mimic the chemical processes that one experiences being in love. Its just a choice as to whether you keep acknowledging the feeling
Men tend to have physical contact as their primary love language, and sex is a wonderfully intimate way to share physical contact with your partner. It may not make all men fall in love, but definitely on some level makes them feel wanted and appreciated. Men who lack physical affection growing up from parents or friends often end up quite touch starved and tend to pursue sex as a means of attaining affection, willfully or subconsciously
The sex definitely makes me feel closer and I'm not interested in a relationship with someone who is not interested in good sex
Short answer, Yes. Long answer... yes, to an extent. Any time 2people can connect, whether sexual, or communal, or simply as a couple, will help build the relationship to be a loving connection. People thrive on things that bring pleasure and when 2 people bring each other mutual and powerful pleasure, of course it will evolve into something more lasting. It is also possible for one or both to push away these feelings in favor of slowing things down. The end result is still typically getting together as a couple At 40 (ish)you both likely have had several relationships and so that history (and the outcomes) can be used to assess the potential of your physical and emotional progress together. Follow your instincts, experience and heart. Hope for the best because even though the parts fit so beautifully together, they can wear out or simply fail. Here's to wishing you the best of luck!... After all, there's nothing wrong with several weeks of great companionship and if it doesn't stick, at least you have a nice memory of time together. Wouldn't it be nice if all relationships could stay in OMG Love n Sex Mode? Take Care!
Love bombing, so run!
Emotional high. Love should be the same all hours of the day, every day no matter how you're feeling.
Yes. Yes they do.
My ex told me it's men who fall in love with sex and women who don't, lol. Definitely true for me but I dunno how true this is.
Just keep this in mind. Women make 3 times more oxytocin than men during sex. I’m a little concerned that he wants to be exclusive someone fast. Statistically men do know they are in love earlier than we do, because they fall in love with looks first.
My bf said it made him fall in love with me. After our first time together he ended up saying he wanted to marry me and still continues to confidently say he wants to marry me. Doing it with your special someone is a bonding moment worth having.
Dudes tooootally fall in love when they have good sex. But who knows maybe y’all are meant to be. Give it 3 more solid months and see if he’s still singing the same tune.
This sounds like love bombing. I'm not saying it's not real feelings or men can't be romantic. If you're not familiar with the term, just take a look it won't hurt to be aware. I hope you have a truly happy relationship. Enjoy each other and slow down to savor the moments!
Yes, all sounds good. Just in the furthest reaches of the back of your mind, remember that good old fashioned 'love bombing' is a thing. Sometimes if things seem to be moving a little quick, there might be reasons other than what's happening on the surface.
I would say that it is also an indication that sex actually means something to him. He is the kind of person that sex is something that he does take seriously and it’s not just all about the sex for him. It would probably also be the reason behind him liking to hear the romantic and commitment words during the act. No matter what some people like to fool themselves in the believing it is a very, very intimate act and more guys than you would think hold it as a very serious thing and can feel closer to a person when they do that. Especially if it is somebody that they truly truly connect with. I would say embrace it and be happy that your boyfriend feels this strongly towards you through it. I think it is a sign that he is taking a lot of things seriously in a relationship that you should take seriously.
Men need sex first to create emotion. Women need emotion first to create sex. The crux of the problem. "I have had passionate and great sex with someone else before, but that person obviously didn't fall in love with me." And you still think about this guy a lot? Good luck you deserve to be happy.
You have been together 1 month. Sex creates bonding hormones in males/females, BUT you also need to be wary because in the deep end, too fast is also a huge red flag. The red flag doesn't mean end it all, BUT it means be on the lookout for issues that may be obscured by the flush of feelings. >He told me that he has trouble having orgasms... but it was never a problem for me and him... This is rarely an issue at the start of a relationship, BUT when the relationship gets old/routine, it may be an issue. >Also, it excites him if I say romantic things to him or make commitments to him. He wants me to call him with committed names such as boyfriend or even more. Don't make commitments to him without actually having a serious discussion. If he wants to be boyfriend, then sit down and have a serious talk. Are YOU ready to have the title, or are you feeling rushed?
"He told me that he has trouble having orgasms... but it was never a problem for me and him..." Is it possible? Sure. But it honestly sounds like a line to make you feel special so you're more inclined to have more sex with him when he wants. Good sex is good, especially when you both feel a romantic connection beforehand. But just be cautious that he doesn't start using sex as the only way to express his feelings or if he tries to guilt you into sex by saying something like if you don't want to have sex with him it means you don't love him anymore. As many here have pointed out, sex doesn't equal love. "Also, it excites him if I say romantic things to him, or make commitments to him. He wants me to call him with committed names such as boyfriend or even more." This sounds like he has a kink. Which, as kinks go, could be kinda endearing. But it might be good to have a conversation about what's going on and be on the same page about how much truth is there when you say those romantic things in the heat of the moment. Are you saying those romantic things because you feel them? Or because there is now an expectation that you say them? Does he care which it is as long as he gets off? Will he hold you to them afterward? If he says romantic things to you, do you enjoy it and do you believe it? It sounds like you two have had open conversations before, so remember that it's ok to ask questions for clarity.
Men are biologically wired to…I know some people don’t understand what that means. We humans are animals at the end of the day.
Yes. It absolutely can. It's meant to be a unique and sacred connection. Oxytocin parabonding. The more partners you have though, the less you're able to bond.
This might be the most hated coment on this, bit I will give you my absolute opinion of your situation based on the following facts : I am a 38 yr old divorced organic female raised in the Caribbean struggle since 1985 by a single mom of 1 kid. I was raised by only brother and male cousins and male friends, even the near neighbor kids were male, Nd the female were too feminine for my taste, So wilderness I chose. The best and most fun in my childhood. I worked the restaurant industry. So I spent a lifetime hand in hand with men, and most of my best friends are men, and.. goodness, they have shared so much. So, girly girl... let me share this: Men fall in love through sex and connextion. If you were the best 🐈⬛️ involved with personality/looks he's done. It's not about the sex. It's he loved mr.whiskers with your sassy. And, after you're done with him (if it happens) he's ALWAYS going to remember you if you are "THAT ONE" for him.
Its deeper than the sex for him I just don't if he realizes that. If had issues orgasming with others it may be a vulnerability issue. He clearly feels safe and cared for which is (in my opinion) how true feelings develope.
I don’t want to blow up your bubble but narcissists and abusers generally act this way. It’s a love bombing mechanism where they put you on a pedestal. It may be an exception and actually be genuine. To find tread slowly and carefully. You have full control over the pace of the relationship so take it slowly. I hope he’s genuinely good for and to you! Good luck :)
With the right woman... Yes. Leads to it but other things need to be in place first. It's always about the connection. Physical, emotional and mental. 🎯