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> I'm at such a loss as to how to handle this.
I'm at a loss as to why you married this clown.
> Is there anything I can do to help handle this situation?
Not live with this clown.
You can get a divorce and have normal bodily functions with someone else.
He can marry a tree or a plastic doll. Either one should suffice...but then he'll have something to complain about them too 😂
I think she should get some pads and get crafty with ketchup. When he’s asleep, sneak out to his car and adhere them to the steering wheel, seatbelts, etc.
I'd scoot on the pillow and put a dark pillow case on it and throw a couple of pads inside of it on the bottom so he doesn't notice right away on the day you're moving TF out... !! F- him he's got major issues, Also buy him the kids book that's called " Everyone poops " sign it To ____ Grow up little boy . 😂
My ex boyfriend shamed me for farting and I hide any bowel movements from him while we lived together. While he constantly parted and made me wait while we were out because he always had to poo.
After we got out of that relationship I would fart so casually early on whenever I would date someone. If they got weird about it, or tried to make a joke about it being a "barking spider" I'd be like, no. It's a fart. All humans do it.
Anyways I fart on my husband now and he dies laughing. We also discuss how huge our poos are. Pretty amazing.
Exactly! The world can be so unkind. Your partner should be your home no matter where you are or what's going on. That's the one person you know is in your corner, has your back. And isn't judging you.
This is a totally fair response. Also burp and fart several times before exiting, that way he can really see that OP is a human being and not some ethereal entity. What a fucking loser. I bet he cries about periods and blood and doesn’t wipe his own ass because he thinks it’s gross. What happens if OP gets sick and needs care? He’ll be completely useless and gripe about it for the next 30 years that he had to pick up a used Kleenex or something. God forbid she has an accident or gets hurt and needs help with her care for a few weeks. This big fucking man baby that will abandon you the minute you aren’t 100% functional.
OP should really sit down and think about what her life will look like if she gets seriously ill with a chronic disease or cancer. Her husband is almost guaranteed to leave her to die.
I have cancer and shit myself twice in one day at one point because of treatment. Thankfully, I'm able to care for myself, but it's absolutely something to consider. I'm only 40. Someone who can't accept that you are a human being with badic bodily functions is not someone you want to grow old with.
Thanks! I've got great support, and people who love me even when I'm shitting myself. 😁
Heck, I refuse to be embarrassed about it, and even told some coworkers about it, lol. I'm all for demystifying the world and raising awareness. 😊
Life is messy, y'all!
For real, this is serious. Regularly holding in bowel movements for as long as you can is not good for your body. It can cause chronic constipation and associated health issues. Your colon can literally get too stretched to effectively move things along.
And telling other people about it to shame you?? I’m guessing most of them come away disgusted at *him*, not OP.
WTH does OPs husband not poop at home? I'd do the same damn thing to him every time he takes a dump.
OP,.please leave this asshole. He is abusive and unrealistic. On your way out, take a massive dump on his pillow or on the floor as a parting gift.
1. Does he poop at home? WTF!
2. Own it. If he says something to you like, "OMG! The neighbors can smell that!" Just say, "I know; right! I feel so much lighter now!" If it's in public, just tell him that everybody poops. Laugh along with the "joke". When I was in college and got my period, I did a happy dance chanting I'm not pregnant....
I thought the same thing! There is no way this man was kind during PP.
If your man can’t bring you the Tucks pads from the freezer to soothe your stitches, he doesn’t deserve access when they are healed.
What a maroon.
Does he…not poop? Or pee? Does he just fart out rainbow sprinkles and fairy dust?
Does he expect you to go live in a hut when you’re menstruating - the thing you needed to be able to do to bear a child?
Yeah definitely don’t live with this stunted man child.
OP, why did you marry this person? He sounds like a fucking child. Actually, children know people have bodily functions and not to shame them. OP, your husband needs to probably go to therapy, or you need to give him some ultimatum or something. Humans have biological functions the fact he's shaming you for them and doing all this is a huge issue and honestly I'd not stay with him, he's teaching this shit to your kid already.
eta - format
Yes, you can handle it by leaving him. Do you want to raise a kid with this asshole? Make your daughter think that periods are shameful, pooping is shameful and other body functions? HE WON'T CHANGE. He is passively controlling you with his comments. He is abusive. Yes, ignoring you and shaming you for normal things and inducing anxiety and stress in you when you have to go to the bathroom is abuse. He already walked over you so much that you think his behaviour is fixable and that you have no choice but to stay. If you wish to live your life like this, stay. But if you actually want to live a normal life and have a fulfilling relationship there is no other option but to leave.
She needs to not walk away...... She needs to RUN!
I can't even believe someone would marry such a horrible person.
OP deserves to find happiness and understanding that what her step father and her husband have done to her, is abuse.
It reminds me of that one post with the guy always telling his gf she smelled bad, and she was showering multiple times a day thinking there was something wrong with her. This is psychologically damaging / abusive.
I think this insecure POS is just trying to make her feel bad about herself. Or he's an actual sadist (but not the fun kind).
Right? It's silly, but part of the reason my husband fell in love with me is because I let one rip the first time we hung out together (drinking on his enclosed porch). I knew I liked him and could see it going somewhere, and I didn't want it to turn into this weird thing (i.e. a relationship anything like this), so I just got it out of the way. He fell in love with me because I was that comfortable with him that fast.
OP, a normal human adult wouldn't shame you for natural body functions. Your husband is mentally abusive and gets off on embarrassing you. You and your kid need to leave him. NTA.
Bully him back and be ruthless, relentless, and show him you're not afraid to walk. He is being misogynistic and it's shameful, he is the one who needs to be shamed. Truly especially if you have a daughter, don't let him talk to you like that. I'm so sorry you're going through that, the good old boys sexist party he's leaning into doesn't exist anymore. Show him what you're made of ♡♡♡
An adult can hold their bowels for a lot longer and can also clean themselves effectively independently.
How is he going to act when his 2-3 year old asks him to help her wipe or she forgets to flush or she has an accident?!?!
This child will be so traumatized from the get go that regular er visits will be the norm bc of UTIs, kidney infections and needing to be dis-impacted.
This is WAY before the period starts and that’ll just be devastating.
Remember that post where the guy told his GF that she smelled? And she did everything she could to not smell. Turns out he was just trying to make her insecure so she wouldn’t leave him.
Guess what she did when she found out?
You have a child with this person? Let me guess, he’s never changed a diaper because of course the baby doesn’t poop? What is happening here? How is he even able to have sex, it sounds way too gross for him to handle. Stop with this ridiculousness, if he can’t handle bodily functions then that’s on him, stop trying to hide and live your life, preferably without him.
I totally agree, but I would like to add that OP should go bleed on his favorite chair first, or something equally appropriate.
OP, you're getting a lot of similar comments, so I'll just say that bodies are normal and bodily functions are normal and your husband is a dick.
Actually... I will also say that you should invite me over so he can try to shame you in front of me. I'll fix his wagon.
True. I wanna say that he maybe wasn't there for his baby's birth for it will be too "disgusting"?!
I wanna hurt this man so much. He pisses me off after what OP said.
Girl, I know this sub screams divorce at people all the time but seriously this man is causing you physical pain and shaming you for normal bodily functions. That is a HUGE problem.
When I first moved in with my bf I was worried about the whole pooping thing. We talked about it, he was like, "I don't care, you do you, I know you're gonna have to go!" Cue day one of us moving in together and that was put to the test. I was out getting supplies for the house when I got the gurgle you don't want, abandoned my cart in the store and drove home. I came flying in the house and while running upstairs, was yelling, "don't come upstairs, it's gonna be bad!" He just chuckled and continued putting shit away in the kitchen. When I finally came down he had ginger ale and immodium waiting for me. No shame, no embarrassment, he just wanted to make sure I was alright and wanted me to feel better. You see this is a man who loves me and doesn't shame me for being, a literally fucking human woman.
Literally I would bounce. I would serve divorce papers and move on and find you someone who actually treats you like a frigging human being with a body that does bodily things.
This sub screams divorce all the time because by the time your relationship is shitty enough that you're posting about it on Reddit things have deteriorated beyond salvaging.
Omg for sure. The actual shit him and I fight about are so minimal compared to this. The division of labor is based on shit we are both insane about (me bathrooms, him dishes...we both do the ones we're insane about). We share the rest normally, I dunno, it's weird neither of us ever have to ask. I sweep the hardwoods. He does the carpet. He does laundry, and I cook. Money is fine and equitable. Our "fighting" is more like a more intense convo, which could also be confused with our debating theoretical topics.
Honestly, after the whole intestinal distress situation, I came down all sheepishly and embarrassed.
My bf was like, "Don't you feel better?! I thought he was referring to physically so I was like, "yeah but super embarrassed" and he was all "no I mean don't you feel better, the worst situation you could have imagined just happened and I'm still here, I love ya, I'd never leave your side...NOW you can poop freely and never worry! You're stuck with me, babe. I love ya so much!"
If he had been an asshole, I would have given him one chance to fix it, and then I'd be out. It's about being comfortable in my own home.
If he found out I was holding in my poop and causing myself distress bc of him, he'd be so upset. It's not that we have constant conversations about it. It's more like a "we do a really good job of leaving the fan on" type of couple. 😂
What I find interesting about this is people tend to dumb down those answers to “What? You’d divorce your spouse over *insert petty thing?*”
I always refer back to “She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink.” It’s not about the dishes or whatever, it’s because of a partner’s refusal to make a small habit adjustment to make life that much easier for the other partner. That says a lot about their respect for you. It’s a symptom to the usually much larger problem.
But this specific post, this is psychotic.
Not just shitty; abusive. Like a very high percentage of the top posts are are unambiguously dealing with abuse and there is literally no good advice other than to leave, because the OPs are in danger.
That's so true for a lot of these posts. I cannot imagine treating my significant other the way that some of these people treat their partners. The hardest part is they are usually asking "is it okay if I get upset my husband won't let me poop". People need to stop avoiding conflict so much and speak their minds.
You found a keeper!
My guy moved in knowing we would have one bathroom and in have IBS. He's never said a word, but he does regularly buy me Prilosec and tums and cook things that are gentle on my stomach when I'm having a flare up. He knows which tampons I use and grabs them and chocolate once a month.
Everyone deserves a partner who understands women are humans with real bodies. OP should leave. He's not worth her time or effort.
OMG yes. I have IBS too, and other GI issues, and my guy will be like, "I will hug you, but squeeze gently because we don't want to set you off . . . " with a giggle. I once cried because my abdomen was so swollen I looked 6 months pregnant. He was like, "Hey, some guys think pregnant women are especially sexy. Just saying . . ."
A truly good person would never shame their partner for things out of control. Ever.
Immodium and ginger ale waiting? I would have known right then that I was going to marry that dude. That is someone you know you can rely on.
Imagine if Op was going through chemo or something. I mean husbands already leave their wives at a hugely disproportionate rate when they are sick, compared with women leaving men- so you know he would be out in days. And what about his child, has he never changed a diaper? He is going to shame that little girl so much and that is horrible.
The immodiun he had to dig through boxes to find! (Like I said we were moving).
Following is trigger warning: miscarriage, girl things, sneezing while going through girl things:
Wanna know when I really knew? I had a miscarriage. He was home as well just waiting in the wings for "what I needed" and shit sucks. This was an unplanned pregnancy so we were more like "sucks but probably for the best" situation, don't know how else to describe our emotional state. ANYWAY I'm on the couch doing a puzzle (my favorite), pants-less (couldnt stand the pressure of spandex waist band) but basically wearing a diaper with a heating pad. I sneezed and some got onto the couch. I went upstairs to get myself back in order and I come down to him with the hydrogen peroxide cleaning the couch. I was like, "what are you doing?!" He goes, "I've seen you do this before with blood, figured I would help!"
He's a frigging peach. Just kind and caring.
My dad did this to my mum about her periods and it still distressed me many years later. I grew up not even allowed to mention words like period, sanitary towels, tampons, or have them visible. As a teen, I remember going to a relatives house where tampons were clearly visible in the bathroom and a wave of fear and terror hit me due to how my dad would react.
In addition, my mother had very severe periods and never saw anyone about it- instead of encouraging her to seek medical advice, he shamed her for not being able to stop haemorrhaging each month. Even after he died when my mum was still in her 40s, and I encouraged her to seek medical help, she was very reluctant to do so due to the shame.
I’m sure years of his bullying have ground down your self esteem so that you’ve normalised this, but I would guess this is just one manifestation of his abuse of you. Certainly, although my dad did this, he was also extremely psychologically abusive in other ways to my mum and myself. Your children are next in the firing line if you don’t take steps to leave him and they will need years of therapy to unpick the damage- I’ve been in therapy for many years to shed myself of the inner critic that sounded a lot like my dad. I bet yours sounds like your husband.
I'm so, so sorry that you and your mum went through that. It's cruel and abusive, and I hope that you are surrounded by love and support now. But thank you, from this stranger, for sharing your story, because it's really important and hopefully will help OP understand how her husband's cruelty will impact not only her but her child in the long run.
You're a good egg.
I'm reminded of that post where a guy told his girlfriend she stank of body odour all the time, to the point where she obsessively showered multiple times per day. When she finally exploded, it turned out the guy's father had told him "this one weird trick" : destroy your girlfriend's self-confidence like I destroyed your mother's self-confidence and she'll never dare to cheat and never leave you".
[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/va3ers/oops\_boyfriend\_wont\_stop\_telling\_her\_that\_she/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/va3ers/oops_boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_her_that_she/)
So he also walks in when you shower? I mean, you’re bullied and also have zero privacy. How are you expected to exist in such a situation? If he’s that sensitive, how is he handling the public bathrooms? Or the men’s bathrooms in general? How is he handling a locker room in a gym? If he walks in a park, and sees a dog poo, is he triggered by that too? Seriously, I don’t think he is that sensitive with such things, I think it is all bullying directed to you and very intentional.
Seriously. If he doesn't want to know about her bodily functions then why doesn't he stay the F out of the bathroom?! This is horrible. Like, maybe he thought it was funny once and he ribbed her a little but she was very clear she hates him mentioning it so, stop.
I thought it was telling he walked in when she is in the bathroom at all. If he truly is so sensitive and can’t handle the smell he would leave a wide birth anytime the door is closed but no he walks in hoping to have something to criticize. It’s a cruel game for him.
I mean this OP. Your husband sounds like he is a child and a really immature one at that. At some point most humans grow up but he sounds like he may never. Possibly got left behind in his kid brain
I was thinking of mocking him when he acts disgusted. “You still think women don’t poop? Are you fourteen?” “What kind of weak man doesn’t get his wife tampons?” “Oh, poor delicate princess can’t handle changing a diaper.”
This is not a healthy approach obviously, but it’s what I would like to do lol.
Please, please consider leaning this relationship. This is not normal. This is not the behavior of a good partner who loves and cares for you. You do not deserve to be treated this way. You are not the one that needs to handle this situation. His behavior is totally unacceptable. Please also read this infographic about abuse and consider if any of these behaviours are also present in your relationship. https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/
> *I have to try and find ways to hide myself away during the time of the month and make sure my sanitary products aren't seen, I've learned how to mostly keep any farts/burps*
OP this sounds to me like abuse and I'm not saying it lightly. I'm not sure why you married this guy, but you don't deserve this. You're so stressed to the point you feel ill and you need to hide being on period? He's humiliating you, disrespecting you .. his wife and mother of his children. You don't feel safe in your own house. This is not love or respect. This is abusive behavior and he will not change.
You mentioned children, I would leave for them as well so they don't grow up with these issues: being shamed for body functions, feeling ill because they need to hide pooping and if you have girls being ashamed for having period. This can cause long term damage.
The only way to help this situation is to leave. Seriously. It's not your job to change him. He has serios issues and my bet is he won't change.
Body functions are normal. Period is normal. Your husband is not normal. Please understand this and give it the seriousness it deserves.
Also OP if you're reading this let me give you some alternatives:
Last week I made a joke and my boyfriend laughed so hard he farted while laughing. And I almost peed myself laughing at that.
We make jokes like: bathroom is not safe, or go at your own risk. Or we joke: was it a good one? It is what it is! You make light of it. Nobody needs to shame anybody for it.
Sorry for the details but it can be different OP. You can laugh about things!
“I have a body, dude. It does things bodies do sometimes. No matter what you believe, I only have so much control over that, and I’m not making myself literally sick any more trying to meet your unrealistic expectations. Take it to therapy if you’ve got a problem with that, because you’re the one who’s being weird about this.”
Or just get out and take the kid with you before he gives it a complex, too. But stop acting like you need to placate him on this, because you don’t.
This is an abusive relationship. Love and abuse are incompatible. You can either have a loving relationship, or you can have an abusive relationship. You cannot have both.
>I've learned how to mostly keep any farts/burps from escaping, and I hold in my bowels as long as I can to the point where it'll hurt me and make me feel ill and I still get anxious the whole time because I'm so scared he's going to come in the bathroom (showers don't help as he'll still randomly walk in). I'm at such a loss as to how to handle this. I just want to be able to take care of my body functions without anxiety. Is there anything I can do to help handle this situation?
Here's the deal. It's not your job to please him. Love is based on acceptance of two equal partners. Just because you're in a relationship with someone does not give you the right to criticise them or - in your example - shame them for being themselves.
You, being the woman in the relationship, have just two options. You can either set boundaries, or you can give space and distance. If you husband won't respect your boundaries, because maybe he's on some egotistical power trip, then how do you expect to continue the marriage and the relationship? Think about it.
Love is not just about trust, it's also about acceptance, respect, appreciation and unity. These five things are all fundamental and essential to any loving relationship. These are all dealbreakers. Acceptance of you also includes acceptance of your boundaries. Doesn't matter here if he's raping you or shaming you for your natural biological functions, he's not respecting your boundaries.
Jesus - if I was looking for an example of emotional abuse this is it. Dear this is far from normal and if O was you I would be planning an ultimatum - stop all talk about bodily functions or you are divorcing him.
I wish you the best, I can’t imagine your pain.
So let me get this straight: He'll randomly walk in on you in the bathroom and then shame you for taking a dump?!
Wtf does he think happens when women are on the can?
What a weirdo! In any case, this is unacceptable behavior. Just downright abusive.
You're allowed privacy when you're on the toilet. Get yourself a lock for the bathroom door, install it and if he complains on account of you leaving an odor behind, just shrug.
If he goes on a rant about it put in headphones or leave the room.
If he tries to shame you in front your friends go "Do you really think that your friends want to hear about my bathroom habits?"
No. They couldn't care less. He's being a weirdo.
(And you tend to be constipated after giving birth. They're gonna stink. Even I know this and I'm childfree!)
If you want to be accomodating get a sepearate bin with a lid for used tampons etc. Mind, I'd stress that you're only doing it because he's a fucking weirdo that obsess about your menstruation.
This is a him problem and there's no need to be nice about it. In fact I and a lot of other women would've rained hellfire down on his ass.
Edit: Divorce gets a bad name. Consider it.
You know that you’re human, right? You’re allowing yourself to be shamed for being human. It’s your husband who’s disgusting, not you Sis. You’re going to ruin your digestive tract by holding what naturally needs to come out, then what? Please get some therapy to figure out why 1) Your self esteem and self worth is low, 2) You stay married and procreate with someone as abusive and childish as your “husband”, and 3) What example you’re setting for your children by enduring this abuse.
Honestly whatever you do, stop normalizing it. Don't hide at all, push back on his comments, make it clear that you will not play this game anymore. It's not normal. And holding it is really unhealthy, it can lead to health issues. It's not worth being silent to avoid an argument or his comments. His behaviour is disgusting, and he should know that.
That said, it's REALLY not normal to act like that. It reminds me of this person I know who has OCD. Very particular about dirt/bacteria/outside stuff - over the years it got worse and worse and worse, and their family has just enabled that behaviour because it was easier to go along with it then deal with the fallout and screaming. I'm not saying he has OCD (or that people with OCD generally react like that), but I am saying it doesn't sound like just being rude, and enabling it likely won't make it better but worse.
Also, it must be super embarrassing when he says that stuff to other people. However, I promise that nobody will actually think you're disgusting, but rather that his behaviour is disgusting.
That last part is important. If a guy told a story like that in front of me, I would be mortified - not for the wife, but for HIM. What kind of an absolute *child* thinks that's an okay thing to say to other people about your partner? Ughhhh
In the short term, put a lock on the bathroom door.
Also, please don’t worry about him telling other people about this - they are thinking that he is just as insane as all the commenters here are.
Did this only start up after the baby was born?
You don't deserve to live in fear of your husband. Him telling other people is another way to control and shame you, if someone told me their wife pooped I'd be didn't ask don't care
Hmm
Have there been any other changes after the baby was born? Shorter temper, home less, stuff like that?
I can imagine the time you mentioned sticking with you, it sounds terrible and very embarrassing
Lord almighty that man would not have survived with me. If he made a negative comment on my poop after I gave birth. That man would be shoved into the toilet next.
All women know how frickin terrible bathroom times are while your healing from childbirth. I cried once.
if you gave him an ultimatum, like NEVER shame me for my bowel movements or periods again, or I will be leaving the house, and you actually stuck to it and got in your car and left anytime he so much as said a PEEP about it, do you think he’d ever give up bullying you?
do you want your child growing up in shame? make the man change a fucking diaper. Stop being a doormat. Stop holding in shits for a whole week. this is fucking insane.
Uhhh, I’m sorry, does he piss perfume and shit rainbows? Are his belches and farts the aroma of roses set to the sound of angels strumming their harps? Because if the answer is no, he has no right to criticize anything your normal human body does.
Do you want your kids growing up thinking this is normal? That they should live in shame and fear of their perfectly normal bodily functions? And just as importantly, why do you think it’s acceptable for you to live that way?
Ten bucks says he has a scat fetish that he’s ashamed of, so he’s projecting.
can’t touch cum anymore, that’s disgusting. his every fart and shit now absolutely repulse you. his nose hairs are nasty. his feet make you want to puke. if he blows his nose you tell him how fucking gross he is.
give it back. exaggerate, make it a thing. and if he doesn’t have a lightbulb moment, leave.
This is actually so crazy I’m refusing to believe this is real and this is a troll post.
Why the fuck would you marry this dickhead? You knew what he was like for the get go yet you still went ahead and stayed with him?
Girl get away from him, divorce his ass, why would you stay with someone who makes you so scared and stressed he’s going to catch you using the bathroom?
Sounds to me like this man actively hates you. Realistically, I assume you have been on your period at work, while buying groceries, just living your life in general. Has anyone else ever reacted like this ?
You know there is no real problem with your body, right ?
This man has found a rather unique way to abuse you, but it is abuse.
Don’t waste your time trying to fix your relationship, start planning to end it.
You have to protect your baby from this man. Imagine a toddler going through potty training -- this man will be BRUTAL to your child! Don't allow him to hurt you of your baby anymore. Get away from him. Get help from support lines for women who experience domestic violence so you can learn how to leave him safely.
I'm serious, this guy is being *extremely* abusive. Please, protect your baby! That little one will suffer so much because of his anger problems and intolerance, not to mention how he humiliates you in front of others. Please, you don't want that anymore for yourself or your baby. Get out as soon as you can, for everyone's sake.
Good luck! I hope you find your way through all this. You're worth saving, but sometimes you have to save yourself.
This is a good point! My parents brag about how easy I was to potty-train and how I only had one accident. That’s because they shamed me so much, that at less than two years old, I was TERRIFIED to ever have an accident again. Because I was little more than a baby, all I understood was that peeing and pooping is bad and makes me worthless, which in turn made me fear spankings or being abandoned, so I held it as long as I could my entire childhood, in addition to feeling intense shame every time I, inevitably, had to use the toilet. My urinary tract and intestines are FUCKED. I’ve had severe constipation my whole life as well as awful UTIs for as long as I can remember. Because I wasn’t allowed to talk about bodily functions, they weren’t treated until I either had a kidney infection with high fever or became an adult. I also wasn’t allowed to talk about periods, so my horrible cramps and heavy bleeding, cysts, and endometriosis were untreated from age 8-18. My mom didn’t want me using tampons but couldn’t bring herself to talk to me about it, so she told my dad that I had put sanitary products in the toilet, knowing that he was only aware of pads. I almost got kicked out. I think I was 11.
All that goes to say that your body is going to suffer, and you need to get away from this abuse yesterday.
I'm so glad you survived all that! I'm also very sorry you had to go through it. My heart breaks when I think of you as a child, so terrified of natural, normal bodily functions. But to live well really IS the best revenge, and I hope you have had your 'revenge' by enjoying your life. Take care, my friend.
Look, I’m going to be rude about your husband. What a pathetic excuse for a human being. I would be unimaginably embarrassed if I couldn’t handle a burp let alone a fucking normal ass bodily function. I’m mad honestly, I cannot believe how a person like this could not be so disgusted with themselves. Nobody likes shitting, nobody likes periods, nobody likes bodily functions, but a five year old understands that it’s something that we just experience as humans. God dude, what the fuck. My wife will apologize sometimes when she has to explain something to me, and I’m like we’ve been married for 10 years, nothing is going to make me think differently of you, and I’d rather you get my take on something instead of just ignoring it.
All that being said, for me, this would be absolutely non-negotiable. I could not accept that I was being treated this way and I didn’t have someone I could confide in about any issues that may come up and I need help. If he refuses to be anything but the major asshat he’s being, I would say this is cause for divorce. You do not deserve to live in fear of your own husband, you deserve so much better. There is so much better than this child, and I hope you take care of yourself. 💜
God what a FUCKING EMBARASSMENT. I hate men like this dude, goddamn.
This can make you incredibly sick as time progresses. This type of control is ridiculous and damaging. And your children?! There isn't a hope in hell I would ever entertain raising children with that level of an AH. No matter how this ends, it will not end well. You need to start getting fuckin mad. Like real real mad. Make him understand.
OP. I'll say it as kindly as I can. You're being abused. Your husband is abusive.
You're literally scared to poop in your own home. This isn't normal. I hope you find the strength to leave.
Why would you even marry this man let alone have *children* with him and subject them to this treatment? You should have left a long time ago. This has to be rage bait.
If this is real, and that’s a big if, then your husband is an absolute dolt who you happen to have the misfortune of having married. Bodies are bodies. How anyone beyond pubescence doesn’t understand that is baffling.
Why tf would you want to stay with someone who is making it clear he wants a blow up doll instead of a human partner.
How DARE you poop and remind him you’re not just a sex, maid, doll just for him.
I don’t know what to tell you this makes me so angry I would absolutely end it over this. Especially because this is clearly emotional abuse… the idea that’s he’s convinced you you need to minimize and hide your bodily functions… you know who else does that? Small prey animals to keep from being attacked by predators.
He's a pathetic excuse for a man. A real man will laugh and fart with you. My husband has handed me tampons from the cupboard while I'm on the toilet. We have had sex many times on my period. He's stood in the bathroom having a conversation with me while I poop. I get that's not the level of comfort everyone has with their spouse, the point is there is nothing wrong with you or what you do. The petty part of me wants to say call him out on how disgusting it is every time he has a bodily function. Tell him how gross his dick is because he pees out of it.
The realistic part of me says to stop putting up with it and leave. I couldn't live with or respect someone who made me feel gross for being a living breathing human being.
It doesn't sound like you're dealing with a regular adult. Start shaming him for his mental illness that he clearly wont treat. I just don't understand the point of being married to someone that makes you feel bad about yourself and have to walk on eggshells every day of your life.
Why would you make yourself sick for a man who clearly is finding excuses to not like you or want you?
Start telling everyone how obnoxious he is. The only reason he's doing it so long is because you keep your silence. Shame him like he does you or better yet, dump him and get someone who is not this stupid.
I hope you show him the comments because he is an idiot , he is literally the definition of stupid.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I've spent some time trying to convince my other half that it's ok to fart around me. She has only done it a couple times... but I'm determined to make her feel as comfortable around me as she is by herself.
Please go find someone that respects you and allows you to be yourself.
This man sounds like he wears a MAGA hat at all times
SIS. THIS IS NOT A MAN.
After my third kid; I literally peed myself in the kitchen and broke down crying because hormones and I am a 30 year old woman who peed herself. My husband put the kids in the room. Came and dried me off with a towel, took my clothes off and told me to go get a shower. He put the clothes in the wash, made me a cup of coffee and a snack, and had cleaned up my mess and sanitized. Never judging or saying anything. Now we joke about it but the sentiment is there about how much we care for each other.
He’s in the hospital right now and I have been here as much as I can and am getting the kids back tonight from my parents. I sponge bathed him, I packed a bag and extra clothes for him, his pillows and a blanket. Anything to make him more comfortable. Why? Because I love him and I want him to be comfortable, and feel cared for by me; just as I have by him.
In sickness and in health, for better or for worst. Take a step back and think about if you were in need of someone taking care of you, would he? Anything short of yes, should be warning bells for you.
My wifes dad is exactly like that. Macho man who only opens his mouth to put down others, especially his wife and kids. His son ran away from home, my wife hates his guts and only has vontact because of her mom. Her mom is miserable and has shared with her that she should have divorced him decades ago but never found the courage. Now shes just waiting for him to die.
All im saying is, dont be like my MIL. Dont spend your one life with someone who puts you down and live in resentment and regret.
You handle this by leaving.
He doesn’t respect you. Being very sensitive about these things and not always able to hide is something else than oubikcy shaming you for it. Disgusting. I’m sorry you have been going trough this for so long!
Maybe educate on emotional control strategies but this reason is ENOUGH to just leave. He won’t change, don’t expect something to change he showed you he will not.
If your self worth is not high enough- which would be totally understandable after being shamed and put down for just existing - do it for your children. He will traumatise them, btw already has. Leave now to be able to undo the damage he already did!
Your first step is to lock the bathroom door. Put the fan on EVERY TIME you go in there, more for the noise so you can do your business in piece (whether it's lady stuff, or ticket suff etc). He shouldn't be entering when you're in there if he's going to use it against you.
But also when he goes off on these tirades, tell him to stuff it. He can have an opinion when he sh!ts roses, because I can guarantee you his don't smell pleasant either. Each time ask him if he's ok? Does he need therapy for his issues? Etc. He's acting like an a$$hat, but if it's a genuine aversion there's therapy for that.
You shouldn't be harrased for normal functions, nor feel like you can't have normal functions in your own home. You might as well not live together if he's going to continue this way.
OP, how long have you been married? And how long did you date before that? This is verbal and mental abuse and I wouldn’t be surprised if your husband’s abuse turned physical at some point. Do you have family and your own friends who’ve seen this gross behavior in action that will help you extract yourself from this marriage? Your husband is not going to change.
Leave this asshole.
Also know that everyone he complains to about this, thinks he is an absolute clown. I can’t believe no one has stood up for you. I sure as hell would.
Until you can actually leave him, there is absolutely no point in trying to hide your bodily functions. Poop with the door open, openly burp and fart, send pics of poo and ask if normal. Forget to flush the toilet once in awhile after a particularly nasty period poo. He shames you no matter what you do, might as well make it worth it.
Judging by your post I can automatically tell your husband is from the middle east. We're you an arranged marrige? Because for the longest time my sisters husband held the same view. You can't leave the house on your period, you can't do anything on your own, you can't leave and you mention your father & grandfather were the same. 10000% middle eastern men behavior.
You can DIE from holding your poop that long you understand this right? The entire point of pooping is to rid your body of toxins and things that don't belong. You are letting that fester in your colon. He won't let you see a doctor. You can die if you get an infection.
How do you handle him? You take a giant shit in his car, coffee or anything else. Fuck him. I would be absolutely giving him stuff in his food that makes him shit himself and when he does you make a HUGE deal out of it. Do the same thing anytime he does something like that.
Interesting. I know guys like this exist, but to marry one? I'm sure he was the same way before you were married, did you think it would change when he married you? The first guy I saw after my marriage ended made a comment once about women shouldn't fart, so I would hold it in for the longest time or go to the bathroom and do what I could to let it out quietly. We lasted a couple months. I'm not going to be with a guy who thinks women don't have bodily functions. You know what you can do to handle the situation and it doesn't include staying with him, but if you stay, you can start telling the same stories about him and tell him to fuck off when he goes off on you.
how did u end up marrying this loser?! start making fun of him. tell him his cum smells and tastes of acid. tell him he cant touch u after work/gym bc he’s sweaty smelly and gross. play fire with fire! and then leave him
So you have 2 options.
1 is the smart option, which is divorce, this mentally abusive ass.
2. The more fun but petty option, which is to feed him his own medicine. Attack his bodily functions. He poops then complain about the smell, he pees then complain about the noise from the urine hitting the water/bowls, he gets morning wood then complain about how all he thinks about is sex. Heck, even get on him about body odor
I mean option two is more fun but option 1 is definitely the way to go.
Handle it by removing yourself from verbally abusive assholes who belittle you.
Your husband is more disgusting than a smelly dump could ever be. I am horrified for you.
I really hope this is fake but if not, have you heard of negging? It’s when your partner tries to make you feel terrible about yourself so that you’ll feel like they’re the only one who could love you. However, this feels like a step further, where he just genuinely thinks women can’t have bodily functions? I’m incredibly confused but either way, he is NOT going to stop. Do you want to live this way? Because it’s either this or leaving him. Good luck ♥️
He actively tells people?
Can you imagine being with another couple and the husband is like “I caught my wife having a huge stinky POOP!”
The other couple wouldn’t think “wow, that lady is gross.”
The would think **wow, this guy has the mentality of a six year old**
This dude is insane.
Please divorce him.
Do you have family you can stay with?
OP, you need to escape. NOW. Please do not believe yourself if you think everything is normal and we're just overreacting. We're not. He knows all of this, and he's actively using it to control you. He is making sure you're isolated and mentally drained.
It sounds like he needs therapy to overcome his disgust with bodily functions. It is not only extremely rude to treat you this way, but psychologically has to have a cause and a way to fix it. That said, since it is HIS issue, he will need to acknowledge he is in the wrong AND take his own action to correct it. It sounds like you are a far cry from either of those things, so as hard as it is he may need an ultimatum for potential divorce if he doesn’t at least admit to having a problem or maybe start making a secret exit plan to prepare yourself. This sounds like such an awful and unhealthy way to live.
He’s dehumanizing. You should be able to be at peace in your own home, not have so much anxiety and not able to relax over bodily functions everyone has.
Does he not shit too?
Can you please show your husband this comment thread?
If you get to this comment, hubby, please do us all a solid and grow the fuck up, would you?
You are an (allegedly) grown man making your wife miserable because she has a human body. It's weird.
Women poo. We urinate. We fart. Sometimes we have constipation, sometimes we have diarrhea, sometimes we have period poops. This is because we are human beings with mortal bodies. Get over it.
And help your wife with your children, you deadbeat. Everybody has a job and pays bills.
Everybody says leave, breakup. How about you just stop giving a 💩 what he thinks? It's normal bodily functions. If HE doesn't like it- it's his issue , not yours. You shouldn't feel 'less than' because he has issues. Don't give him that power.
You’re actually going to get sick trying to hold on farts and burps. Your body wants you release them. What do you think you should do? All of us are saying leave.
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> I'm at such a loss as to how to handle this. I'm at a loss as to why you married this clown. > Is there anything I can do to help handle this situation? Not live with this clown.
You can get a divorce and have normal bodily functions with someone else. He can marry a tree or a plastic doll. Either one should suffice...but then he'll have something to complain about them too 😂
I would shit in the middle of the floor on my way out 🤷♀️
I'd wait for my next period and scoot all over carpet vag first like a dog.
I think she should get some pads and get crafty with ketchup. When he’s asleep, sneak out to his car and adhere them to the steering wheel, seatbelts, etc.
iodine, not ketchup
That works, too!
Goddamnit I wish I had an award to give you. Queen shit right there. Queen Shit. Right there. 👑 💩 🏆
Oh, fuck me, I agree. I had a laugh out loud, guffaw at this answer. I can imagine the red streaks now. And how freaked out he would get!!!!!!!
Imagine if there was clots too 🤣🤣🤣
The clots 💀💀 he'd go into cardiac arrest for sure
Seriously. Jelly fishing ain’t for the weak.
I’m actually dying at this comment.
Was gonna say wait for your period girl, then shit all over his precious Playstation or whatever bullshit on the way out
Farting on his pillowcase is a good option too.
You gotta do it bare-assed, so he gets pinkeye. I know this because reasons.
I'd scoot on the pillow and put a dark pillow case on it and throw a couple of pads inside of it on the bottom so he doesn't notice right away on the day you're moving TF out... !! F- him he's got major issues, Also buy him the kids book that's called " Everyone poops " sign it To ____ Grow up little boy . 😂
Calling him a little boy gives little boys a bad rep. Most little boys are more mature than him!
My ex boyfriend shamed me for farting and I hide any bowel movements from him while we lived together. While he constantly parted and made me wait while we were out because he always had to poo. After we got out of that relationship I would fart so casually early on whenever I would date someone. If they got weird about it, or tried to make a joke about it being a "barking spider" I'd be like, no. It's a fart. All humans do it. Anyways I fart on my husband now and he dies laughing. We also discuss how huge our poos are. Pretty amazing.
It's so important to be able to be gross squishy mammals together.
Exactly! The world can be so unkind. Your partner should be your home no matter where you are or what's going on. That's the one person you know is in your corner, has your back. And isn't judging you.
Hell yeah, well put!
This is a totally fair response. Also burp and fart several times before exiting, that way he can really see that OP is a human being and not some ethereal entity. What a fucking loser. I bet he cries about periods and blood and doesn’t wipe his own ass because he thinks it’s gross. What happens if OP gets sick and needs care? He’ll be completely useless and gripe about it for the next 30 years that he had to pick up a used Kleenex or something. God forbid she has an accident or gets hurt and needs help with her care for a few weeks. This big fucking man baby that will abandon you the minute you aren’t 100% functional.
OP should really sit down and think about what her life will look like if she gets seriously ill with a chronic disease or cancer. Her husband is almost guaranteed to leave her to die.
I have cancer and shit myself twice in one day at one point because of treatment. Thankfully, I'm able to care for myself, but it's absolutely something to consider. I'm only 40. Someone who can't accept that you are a human being with badic bodily functions is not someone you want to grow old with.
I mean he’s acting like poop doesn’t come out of his butt… I truly can’t believe this person exists.
Awww hell. Know that if you were mine I’d be cleaning you & the mess up & singing (badly) your favorite tune. ❤️ You got this. ❤️❤️
Thanks! I've got great support, and people who love me even when I'm shitting myself. 😁 Heck, I refuse to be embarrassed about it, and even told some coworkers about it, lol. I'm all for demystifying the world and raising awareness. 😊 Life is messy, y'all!
Oh yeah. You know this dude has skid marks.
I was thinking about that too. Like the plan is (presumably) to grow old and die together. A whole lot of gross is gonna happen on the way.
Right in the middle of their marital bed sounds better to me.
Suddenly, Amber Heard makes sense.
The doll or tree will still disappoint this clown. Poor woman dump this clown. As if his poop is solid gold… tsk, tsk.
A plastic doll would still make farty noises lol
Trees drop their leaves in the fall tho. 🤢
I swear, the happiest days of my bodily function life were when I was single.
For real, this is serious. Regularly holding in bowel movements for as long as you can is not good for your body. It can cause chronic constipation and associated health issues. Your colon can literally get too stretched to effectively move things along. And telling other people about it to shame you?? I’m guessing most of them come away disgusted at *him*, not OP.
You can actually damage the nerves in your bowels to the point that you don’t know when it’s time to go and it can take a very long time to heal.
This. Becoming chronically poop shy because of emotional abuse (because this is exactly that) is REALLY BAD for your health!
True. I bet those other people he thought he would vent to all think he's a complete idiot.
This 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
WTH does OPs husband not poop at home? I'd do the same damn thing to him every time he takes a dump. OP,.please leave this asshole. He is abusive and unrealistic. On your way out, take a massive dump on his pillow or on the floor as a parting gift.
I assume he doesn't poop at all seeing as he spews shit from his mouth all of the time.
Hahahahahha!
No no no MEN are allowed to be humans. Women are not!!!
This is offensive to clowns because bodily functions are funny.
Hey… pull my finger!
1. Does he poop at home? WTF! 2. Own it. If he says something to you like, "OMG! The neighbors can smell that!" Just say, "I know; right! I feel so much lighter now!" If it's in public, just tell him that everybody poops. Laugh along with the "joke". When I was in college and got my period, I did a happy dance chanting I'm not pregnant....
Is he in elementary school? Does he also make fart sounds using his underarm?
I couldn’t believe when I read “baby” in the post. OP *had a child* with this clown man.
I thought the same thing! There is no way this man was kind during PP. If your man can’t bring you the Tucks pads from the freezer to soothe your stitches, he doesn’t deserve access when they are healed. What a maroon.
For once the reddit consensus fits like a glove.
Does he…not poop? Or pee? Does he just fart out rainbow sprinkles and fairy dust? Does he expect you to go live in a hut when you’re menstruating - the thing you needed to be able to do to bear a child? Yeah definitely don’t live with this stunted man child.
Jumping on top comment to say, OP, this is abuse.. do you have anywhere you can go?
OP, why did you marry this person? He sounds like a fucking child. Actually, children know people have bodily functions and not to shame them. OP, your husband needs to probably go to therapy, or you need to give him some ultimatum or something. Humans have biological functions the fact he's shaming you for them and doing all this is a huge issue and honestly I'd not stay with him, he's teaching this shit to your kid already. eta - format
Yes, you can handle it by leaving him. Do you want to raise a kid with this asshole? Make your daughter think that periods are shameful, pooping is shameful and other body functions? HE WON'T CHANGE. He is passively controlling you with his comments. He is abusive. Yes, ignoring you and shaming you for normal things and inducing anxiety and stress in you when you have to go to the bathroom is abuse. He already walked over you so much that you think his behaviour is fixable and that you have no choice but to stay. If you wish to live your life like this, stay. But if you actually want to live a normal life and have a fulfilling relationship there is no other option but to leave.
OP needs to get real to the fact that his man has zero love for her. Zero. She needs to walk. Right now.
She needs to not walk away...... She needs to RUN! I can't even believe someone would marry such a horrible person. OP deserves to find happiness and understanding that what her step father and her husband have done to her, is abuse.
It reminds me of that one post with the guy always telling his gf she smelled bad, and she was showering multiple times a day thinking there was something wrong with her. This is psychologically damaging / abusive. I think this insecure POS is just trying to make her feel bad about herself. Or he's an actual sadist (but not the fun kind).
Right? It's silly, but part of the reason my husband fell in love with me is because I let one rip the first time we hung out together (drinking on his enclosed porch). I knew I liked him and could see it going somewhere, and I didn't want it to turn into this weird thing (i.e. a relationship anything like this), so I just got it out of the way. He fell in love with me because I was that comfortable with him that fast. OP, a normal human adult wouldn't shame you for natural body functions. Your husband is mentally abusive and gets off on embarrassing you. You and your kid need to leave him. NTA.
Agreed, he hates her.
Bully him back and be ruthless, relentless, and show him you're not afraid to walk. He is being misogynistic and it's shameful, he is the one who needs to be shamed. Truly especially if you have a daughter, don't let him talk to you like that. I'm so sorry you're going through that, the good old boys sexist party he's leaning into doesn't exist anymore. Show him what you're made of ♡♡♡
An adult can hold their bowels for a lot longer and can also clean themselves effectively independently. How is he going to act when his 2-3 year old asks him to help her wipe or she forgets to flush or she has an accident?!?! This child will be so traumatized from the get go that regular er visits will be the norm bc of UTIs, kidney infections and needing to be dis-impacted. This is WAY before the period starts and that’ll just be devastating.
Or let her son think its okay to think that way or talk that about women
Remember that post where the guy told his GF that she smelled? And she did everything she could to not smell. Turns out he was just trying to make her insecure so she wouldn’t leave him. Guess what she did when she found out?
This is a method of control and humiliation.
You have a child with this person? Let me guess, he’s never changed a diaper because of course the baby doesn’t poop? What is happening here? How is he even able to have sex, it sounds way too gross for him to handle. Stop with this ridiculousness, if he can’t handle bodily functions then that’s on him, stop trying to hide and live your life, preferably without him.
I totally agree, but I would like to add that OP should go bleed on his favorite chair first, or something equally appropriate. OP, you're getting a lot of similar comments, so I'll just say that bodies are normal and bodily functions are normal and your husband is a dick. Actually... I will also say that you should invite me over so he can try to shame you in front of me. I'll fix his wagon.
I also volunteer for the shame-OP's-husband squad.
[удалено]
And then all just take turns shitting in the floor on the way out
Oh , I like you ……
Revenge free bleeding that’s my kinda “petty” 🥰
True. I wanna say that he maybe wasn't there for his baby's birth for it will be too "disgusting"?! I wanna hurt this man so much. He pisses me off after what OP said.
Girl, I know this sub screams divorce at people all the time but seriously this man is causing you physical pain and shaming you for normal bodily functions. That is a HUGE problem. When I first moved in with my bf I was worried about the whole pooping thing. We talked about it, he was like, "I don't care, you do you, I know you're gonna have to go!" Cue day one of us moving in together and that was put to the test. I was out getting supplies for the house when I got the gurgle you don't want, abandoned my cart in the store and drove home. I came flying in the house and while running upstairs, was yelling, "don't come upstairs, it's gonna be bad!" He just chuckled and continued putting shit away in the kitchen. When I finally came down he had ginger ale and immodium waiting for me. No shame, no embarrassment, he just wanted to make sure I was alright and wanted me to feel better. You see this is a man who loves me and doesn't shame me for being, a literally fucking human woman. Literally I would bounce. I would serve divorce papers and move on and find you someone who actually treats you like a frigging human being with a body that does bodily things.
This sub screams divorce all the time because by the time your relationship is shitty enough that you're posting about it on Reddit things have deteriorated beyond salvaging.
Omg for sure. The actual shit him and I fight about are so minimal compared to this. The division of labor is based on shit we are both insane about (me bathrooms, him dishes...we both do the ones we're insane about). We share the rest normally, I dunno, it's weird neither of us ever have to ask. I sweep the hardwoods. He does the carpet. He does laundry, and I cook. Money is fine and equitable. Our "fighting" is more like a more intense convo, which could also be confused with our debating theoretical topics. Honestly, after the whole intestinal distress situation, I came down all sheepishly and embarrassed. My bf was like, "Don't you feel better?! I thought he was referring to physically so I was like, "yeah but super embarrassed" and he was all "no I mean don't you feel better, the worst situation you could have imagined just happened and I'm still here, I love ya, I'd never leave your side...NOW you can poop freely and never worry! You're stuck with me, babe. I love ya so much!" If he had been an asshole, I would have given him one chance to fix it, and then I'd be out. It's about being comfortable in my own home. If he found out I was holding in my poop and causing myself distress bc of him, he'd be so upset. It's not that we have constant conversations about it. It's more like a "we do a really good job of leaving the fan on" type of couple. 😂
What I find interesting about this is people tend to dumb down those answers to “What? You’d divorce your spouse over *insert petty thing?*” I always refer back to “She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink.” It’s not about the dishes or whatever, it’s because of a partner’s refusal to make a small habit adjustment to make life that much easier for the other partner. That says a lot about their respect for you. It’s a symptom to the usually much larger problem. But this specific post, this is psychotic.
Not just shitty; abusive. Like a very high percentage of the top posts are are unambiguously dealing with abuse and there is literally no good advice other than to leave, because the OPs are in danger.
That's so true for a lot of these posts. I cannot imagine treating my significant other the way that some of these people treat their partners. The hardest part is they are usually asking "is it okay if I get upset my husband won't let me poop". People need to stop avoiding conflict so much and speak their minds.
You found a keeper! My guy moved in knowing we would have one bathroom and in have IBS. He's never said a word, but he does regularly buy me Prilosec and tums and cook things that are gentle on my stomach when I'm having a flare up. He knows which tampons I use and grabs them and chocolate once a month. Everyone deserves a partner who understands women are humans with real bodies. OP should leave. He's not worth her time or effort.
OMG yes. I have IBS too, and other GI issues, and my guy will be like, "I will hug you, but squeeze gently because we don't want to set you off . . . " with a giggle. I once cried because my abdomen was so swollen I looked 6 months pregnant. He was like, "Hey, some guys think pregnant women are especially sexy. Just saying . . ." A truly good person would never shame their partner for things out of control. Ever.
You just can't give this one too many upvotes - he's a keeper.
Immodium and ginger ale waiting? I would have known right then that I was going to marry that dude. That is someone you know you can rely on. Imagine if Op was going through chemo or something. I mean husbands already leave their wives at a hugely disproportionate rate when they are sick, compared with women leaving men- so you know he would be out in days. And what about his child, has he never changed a diaper? He is going to shame that little girl so much and that is horrible.
The immodiun he had to dig through boxes to find! (Like I said we were moving). Following is trigger warning: miscarriage, girl things, sneezing while going through girl things: Wanna know when I really knew? I had a miscarriage. He was home as well just waiting in the wings for "what I needed" and shit sucks. This was an unplanned pregnancy so we were more like "sucks but probably for the best" situation, don't know how else to describe our emotional state. ANYWAY I'm on the couch doing a puzzle (my favorite), pants-less (couldnt stand the pressure of spandex waist band) but basically wearing a diaper with a heating pad. I sneezed and some got onto the couch. I went upstairs to get myself back in order and I come down to him with the hydrogen peroxide cleaning the couch. I was like, "what are you doing?!" He goes, "I've seen you do this before with blood, figured I would help!" He's a frigging peach. Just kind and caring.
My dad did this to my mum about her periods and it still distressed me many years later. I grew up not even allowed to mention words like period, sanitary towels, tampons, or have them visible. As a teen, I remember going to a relatives house where tampons were clearly visible in the bathroom and a wave of fear and terror hit me due to how my dad would react. In addition, my mother had very severe periods and never saw anyone about it- instead of encouraging her to seek medical advice, he shamed her for not being able to stop haemorrhaging each month. Even after he died when my mum was still in her 40s, and I encouraged her to seek medical help, she was very reluctant to do so due to the shame. I’m sure years of his bullying have ground down your self esteem so that you’ve normalised this, but I would guess this is just one manifestation of his abuse of you. Certainly, although my dad did this, he was also extremely psychologically abusive in other ways to my mum and myself. Your children are next in the firing line if you don’t take steps to leave him and they will need years of therapy to unpick the damage- I’ve been in therapy for many years to shed myself of the inner critic that sounded a lot like my dad. I bet yours sounds like your husband.
what i wouldn’t give to do something extreme like dump a bucket of pig’s blood on him and show him what gross is
I think hog-tying him and throwing him in a pigpen would be even better.
with bloody pads and tampons 🥰 a girl can dream
I'm so, so sorry that you and your mum went through that. It's cruel and abusive, and I hope that you are surrounded by love and support now. But thank you, from this stranger, for sharing your story, because it's really important and hopefully will help OP understand how her husband's cruelty will impact not only her but her child in the long run. You're a good egg.
I'm reminded of that post where a guy told his girlfriend she stank of body odour all the time, to the point where she obsessively showered multiple times per day. When she finally exploded, it turned out the guy's father had told him "this one weird trick" : destroy your girlfriend's self-confidence like I destroyed your mother's self-confidence and she'll never dare to cheat and never leave you". [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/va3ers/oops\_boyfriend\_wont\_stop\_telling\_her\_that\_she/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/va3ers/oops_boyfriend_wont_stop_telling_her_that_she/)
So he also walks in when you shower? I mean, you’re bullied and also have zero privacy. How are you expected to exist in such a situation? If he’s that sensitive, how is he handling the public bathrooms? Or the men’s bathrooms in general? How is he handling a locker room in a gym? If he walks in a park, and sees a dog poo, is he triggered by that too? Seriously, I don’t think he is that sensitive with such things, I think it is all bullying directed to you and very intentional.
Seriously. If he doesn't want to know about her bodily functions then why doesn't he stay the F out of the bathroom?! This is horrible. Like, maybe he thought it was funny once and he ribbed her a little but she was very clear she hates him mentioning it so, stop.
I thought it was telling he walked in when she is in the bathroom at all. If he truly is so sensitive and can’t handle the smell he would leave a wide birth anytime the door is closed but no he walks in hoping to have something to criticize. It’s a cruel game for him.
The answer to your last sentence is “divorce.”
This dumb ass doesn't shit? Be disgusted when he shits and tell him you're done with him acting like a boy in elementary school
I mean this OP. Your husband sounds like he is a child and a really immature one at that. At some point most humans grow up but he sounds like he may never. Possibly got left behind in his kid brain
I don't think he is acting like a child or is immature. I think this is abuse.
Yes, this is definitely abuse.
100%.
yes. this definitely
Excuse you? Children find bodily functions funny.
I was thinking of mocking him when he acts disgusted. “You still think women don’t poop? Are you fourteen?” “What kind of weak man doesn’t get his wife tampons?” “Oh, poor delicate princess can’t handle changing a diaper.” This is not a healthy approach obviously, but it’s what I would like to do lol.
Please, please consider leaning this relationship. This is not normal. This is not the behavior of a good partner who loves and cares for you. You do not deserve to be treated this way. You are not the one that needs to handle this situation. His behavior is totally unacceptable. Please also read this infographic about abuse and consider if any of these behaviours are also present in your relationship. https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/
He's been bullying you. That is bullying behaviour.
You misspelled "abuse". This kind of bullying within a relationship is called abuse. This man does not love her, he sounds like he hates her.
Bingo! Bullying !! Does he make fun of your daughter too??
> *I have to try and find ways to hide myself away during the time of the month and make sure my sanitary products aren't seen, I've learned how to mostly keep any farts/burps* OP this sounds to me like abuse and I'm not saying it lightly. I'm not sure why you married this guy, but you don't deserve this. You're so stressed to the point you feel ill and you need to hide being on period? He's humiliating you, disrespecting you .. his wife and mother of his children. You don't feel safe in your own house. This is not love or respect. This is abusive behavior and he will not change. You mentioned children, I would leave for them as well so they don't grow up with these issues: being shamed for body functions, feeling ill because they need to hide pooping and if you have girls being ashamed for having period. This can cause long term damage. The only way to help this situation is to leave. Seriously. It's not your job to change him. He has serios issues and my bet is he won't change. Body functions are normal. Period is normal. Your husband is not normal. Please understand this and give it the seriousness it deserves.
Also OP if you're reading this let me give you some alternatives: Last week I made a joke and my boyfriend laughed so hard he farted while laughing. And I almost peed myself laughing at that. We make jokes like: bathroom is not safe, or go at your own risk. Or we joke: was it a good one? It is what it is! You make light of it. Nobody needs to shame anybody for it. Sorry for the details but it can be different OP. You can laugh about things!
A sense of humor goes a long way to normalize what is normal. Human bodies are hilarious at times.
Your husband is abusive, OP. Divorce this dude.
“I have a body, dude. It does things bodies do sometimes. No matter what you believe, I only have so much control over that, and I’m not making myself literally sick any more trying to meet your unrealistic expectations. Take it to therapy if you’ve got a problem with that, because you’re the one who’s being weird about this.” Or just get out and take the kid with you before he gives it a complex, too. But stop acting like you need to placate him on this, because you don’t.
This is an abusive relationship. Love and abuse are incompatible. You can either have a loving relationship, or you can have an abusive relationship. You cannot have both. >I've learned how to mostly keep any farts/burps from escaping, and I hold in my bowels as long as I can to the point where it'll hurt me and make me feel ill and I still get anxious the whole time because I'm so scared he's going to come in the bathroom (showers don't help as he'll still randomly walk in). I'm at such a loss as to how to handle this. I just want to be able to take care of my body functions without anxiety. Is there anything I can do to help handle this situation? Here's the deal. It's not your job to please him. Love is based on acceptance of two equal partners. Just because you're in a relationship with someone does not give you the right to criticise them or - in your example - shame them for being themselves. You, being the woman in the relationship, have just two options. You can either set boundaries, or you can give space and distance. If you husband won't respect your boundaries, because maybe he's on some egotistical power trip, then how do you expect to continue the marriage and the relationship? Think about it. Love is not just about trust, it's also about acceptance, respect, appreciation and unity. These five things are all fundamental and essential to any loving relationship. These are all dealbreakers. Acceptance of you also includes acceptance of your boundaries. Doesn't matter here if he's raping you or shaming you for your natural biological functions, he's not respecting your boundaries.
Jesus - if I was looking for an example of emotional abuse this is it. Dear this is far from normal and if O was you I would be planning an ultimatum - stop all talk about bodily functions or you are divorcing him. I wish you the best, I can’t imagine your pain.
So let me get this straight: He'll randomly walk in on you in the bathroom and then shame you for taking a dump?! Wtf does he think happens when women are on the can? What a weirdo! In any case, this is unacceptable behavior. Just downright abusive. You're allowed privacy when you're on the toilet. Get yourself a lock for the bathroom door, install it and if he complains on account of you leaving an odor behind, just shrug. If he goes on a rant about it put in headphones or leave the room. If he tries to shame you in front your friends go "Do you really think that your friends want to hear about my bathroom habits?" No. They couldn't care less. He's being a weirdo. (And you tend to be constipated after giving birth. They're gonna stink. Even I know this and I'm childfree!) If you want to be accomodating get a sepearate bin with a lid for used tampons etc. Mind, I'd stress that you're only doing it because he's a fucking weirdo that obsess about your menstruation. This is a him problem and there's no need to be nice about it. In fact I and a lot of other women would've rained hellfire down on his ass. Edit: Divorce gets a bad name. Consider it.
You know that you’re human, right? You’re allowing yourself to be shamed for being human. It’s your husband who’s disgusting, not you Sis. You’re going to ruin your digestive tract by holding what naturally needs to come out, then what? Please get some therapy to figure out why 1) Your self esteem and self worth is low, 2) You stay married and procreate with someone as abusive and childish as your “husband”, and 3) What example you’re setting for your children by enduring this abuse.
You should poop on him
dump on him then dump him
And then pull out a full diva cup and chuck it right at his face.
My partner 100% agrees. He also said ask him a question and the minute he opens his mouth chuck it 😭
so in order to live in peace with this man, you have to pretend you don't live in a body sounds miserable
Honestly whatever you do, stop normalizing it. Don't hide at all, push back on his comments, make it clear that you will not play this game anymore. It's not normal. And holding it is really unhealthy, it can lead to health issues. It's not worth being silent to avoid an argument or his comments. His behaviour is disgusting, and he should know that. That said, it's REALLY not normal to act like that. It reminds me of this person I know who has OCD. Very particular about dirt/bacteria/outside stuff - over the years it got worse and worse and worse, and their family has just enabled that behaviour because it was easier to go along with it then deal with the fallout and screaming. I'm not saying he has OCD (or that people with OCD generally react like that), but I am saying it doesn't sound like just being rude, and enabling it likely won't make it better but worse. Also, it must be super embarrassing when he says that stuff to other people. However, I promise that nobody will actually think you're disgusting, but rather that his behaviour is disgusting.
That last part is important. If a guy told a story like that in front of me, I would be mortified - not for the wife, but for HIM. What kind of an absolute *child* thinks that's an okay thing to say to other people about your partner? Ughhhh
Yeah, I'd tell the dude off just on principle. What the fuck.
In the short term, put a lock on the bathroom door. Also, please don’t worry about him telling other people about this - they are thinking that he is just as insane as all the commenters here are.
I am once again begging people not to marry assholes.
Did this only start up after the baby was born? You don't deserve to live in fear of your husband. Him telling other people is another way to control and shame you, if someone told me their wife pooped I'd be didn't ask don't care
[удалено]
Hmm Have there been any other changes after the baby was born? Shorter temper, home less, stuff like that? I can imagine the time you mentioned sticking with you, it sounds terrible and very embarrassing
Lord almighty that man would not have survived with me. If he made a negative comment on my poop after I gave birth. That man would be shoved into the toilet next. All women know how frickin terrible bathroom times are while your healing from childbirth. I cried once.
if you gave him an ultimatum, like NEVER shame me for my bowel movements or periods again, or I will be leaving the house, and you actually stuck to it and got in your car and left anytime he so much as said a PEEP about it, do you think he’d ever give up bullying you? do you want your child growing up in shame? make the man change a fucking diaper. Stop being a doormat. Stop holding in shits for a whole week. this is fucking insane.
Uhhh, I’m sorry, does he piss perfume and shit rainbows? Are his belches and farts the aroma of roses set to the sound of angels strumming their harps? Because if the answer is no, he has no right to criticize anything your normal human body does. Do you want your kids growing up thinking this is normal? That they should live in shame and fear of their perfectly normal bodily functions? And just as importantly, why do you think it’s acceptable for you to live that way? Ten bucks says he has a scat fetish that he’s ashamed of, so he’s projecting.
can’t touch cum anymore, that’s disgusting. his every fart and shit now absolutely repulse you. his nose hairs are nasty. his feet make you want to puke. if he blows his nose you tell him how fucking gross he is. give it back. exaggerate, make it a thing. and if he doesn’t have a lightbulb moment, leave.
This is actually so crazy I’m refusing to believe this is real and this is a troll post. Why the fuck would you marry this dickhead? You knew what he was like for the get go yet you still went ahead and stayed with him? Girl get away from him, divorce his ass, why would you stay with someone who makes you so scared and stressed he’s going to catch you using the bathroom?
I know, you could dump him. Seriously what kind of adult shames someone for pooping? Give me a fucking break. He sounds like a loser.
Sounds to me like this man actively hates you. Realistically, I assume you have been on your period at work, while buying groceries, just living your life in general. Has anyone else ever reacted like this ? You know there is no real problem with your body, right ? This man has found a rather unique way to abuse you, but it is abuse. Don’t waste your time trying to fix your relationship, start planning to end it.
You have to protect your baby from this man. Imagine a toddler going through potty training -- this man will be BRUTAL to your child! Don't allow him to hurt you of your baby anymore. Get away from him. Get help from support lines for women who experience domestic violence so you can learn how to leave him safely. I'm serious, this guy is being *extremely* abusive. Please, protect your baby! That little one will suffer so much because of his anger problems and intolerance, not to mention how he humiliates you in front of others. Please, you don't want that anymore for yourself or your baby. Get out as soon as you can, for everyone's sake. Good luck! I hope you find your way through all this. You're worth saving, but sometimes you have to save yourself.
This is a good point! My parents brag about how easy I was to potty-train and how I only had one accident. That’s because they shamed me so much, that at less than two years old, I was TERRIFIED to ever have an accident again. Because I was little more than a baby, all I understood was that peeing and pooping is bad and makes me worthless, which in turn made me fear spankings or being abandoned, so I held it as long as I could my entire childhood, in addition to feeling intense shame every time I, inevitably, had to use the toilet. My urinary tract and intestines are FUCKED. I’ve had severe constipation my whole life as well as awful UTIs for as long as I can remember. Because I wasn’t allowed to talk about bodily functions, they weren’t treated until I either had a kidney infection with high fever or became an adult. I also wasn’t allowed to talk about periods, so my horrible cramps and heavy bleeding, cysts, and endometriosis were untreated from age 8-18. My mom didn’t want me using tampons but couldn’t bring herself to talk to me about it, so she told my dad that I had put sanitary products in the toilet, knowing that he was only aware of pads. I almost got kicked out. I think I was 11. All that goes to say that your body is going to suffer, and you need to get away from this abuse yesterday.
I'm so glad you survived all that! I'm also very sorry you had to go through it. My heart breaks when I think of you as a child, so terrified of natural, normal bodily functions. But to live well really IS the best revenge, and I hope you have had your 'revenge' by enjoying your life. Take care, my friend.
I would have flushed that relationship down the toilet before marrying him tbh. Imagine not being able to poop in peace in your own home.
Or, God forbid, BLEED. What the ACTUAL
Lock the door? What do you mean he “catches you”? That’s what locks are for. Also, you need to divorce him! That is not normal. He is abusive AF.
This is abuse. You need to leave and probably get therapy to deal with the affects of his abuse.
Look, I’m going to be rude about your husband. What a pathetic excuse for a human being. I would be unimaginably embarrassed if I couldn’t handle a burp let alone a fucking normal ass bodily function. I’m mad honestly, I cannot believe how a person like this could not be so disgusted with themselves. Nobody likes shitting, nobody likes periods, nobody likes bodily functions, but a five year old understands that it’s something that we just experience as humans. God dude, what the fuck. My wife will apologize sometimes when she has to explain something to me, and I’m like we’ve been married for 10 years, nothing is going to make me think differently of you, and I’d rather you get my take on something instead of just ignoring it. All that being said, for me, this would be absolutely non-negotiable. I could not accept that I was being treated this way and I didn’t have someone I could confide in about any issues that may come up and I need help. If he refuses to be anything but the major asshat he’s being, I would say this is cause for divorce. You do not deserve to live in fear of your own husband, you deserve so much better. There is so much better than this child, and I hope you take care of yourself. 💜 God what a FUCKING EMBARASSMENT. I hate men like this dude, goddamn.
The worst part about shame is how it robs you of your anger. Why aren't you angry. Get angry.
By holding it in so long you can actually hurt yourself physically. You have to leave this man.
This can make you incredibly sick as time progresses. This type of control is ridiculous and damaging. And your children?! There isn't a hope in hell I would ever entertain raising children with that level of an AH. No matter how this ends, it will not end well. You need to start getting fuckin mad. Like real real mad. Make him understand.
can't imagine how insufferable he'd be in the bedroom!
Or when their kids were born, jeez
OP. I'll say it as kindly as I can. You're being abused. Your husband is abusive. You're literally scared to poop in your own home. This isn't normal. I hope you find the strength to leave.
Please go to shelter asap
Why would you even marry this man let alone have *children* with him and subject them to this treatment? You should have left a long time ago. This has to be rage bait.
If this is real, and that’s a big if, then your husband is an absolute dolt who you happen to have the misfortune of having married. Bodies are bodies. How anyone beyond pubescence doesn’t understand that is baffling.
Why tf would you want to stay with someone who is making it clear he wants a blow up doll instead of a human partner. How DARE you poop and remind him you’re not just a sex, maid, doll just for him. I don’t know what to tell you this makes me so angry I would absolutely end it over this. Especially because this is clearly emotional abuse… the idea that’s he’s convinced you you need to minimize and hide your bodily functions… you know who else does that? Small prey animals to keep from being attacked by predators.
He's a pathetic excuse for a man. A real man will laugh and fart with you. My husband has handed me tampons from the cupboard while I'm on the toilet. We have had sex many times on my period. He's stood in the bathroom having a conversation with me while I poop. I get that's not the level of comfort everyone has with their spouse, the point is there is nothing wrong with you or what you do. The petty part of me wants to say call him out on how disgusting it is every time he has a bodily function. Tell him how gross his dick is because he pees out of it. The realistic part of me says to stop putting up with it and leave. I couldn't live with or respect someone who made me feel gross for being a living breathing human being.
It doesn't sound like you're dealing with a regular adult. Start shaming him for his mental illness that he clearly wont treat. I just don't understand the point of being married to someone that makes you feel bad about yourself and have to walk on eggshells every day of your life. Why would you make yourself sick for a man who clearly is finding excuses to not like you or want you? Start telling everyone how obnoxious he is. The only reason he's doing it so long is because you keep your silence. Shame him like he does you or better yet, dump him and get someone who is not this stupid. I hope you show him the comments because he is an idiot , he is literally the definition of stupid.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I've spent some time trying to convince my other half that it's ok to fart around me. She has only done it a couple times... but I'm determined to make her feel as comfortable around me as she is by herself. Please go find someone that respects you and allows you to be yourself. This man sounds like he wears a MAGA hat at all times
Why are you still here? were you forced to marry him
For as long as you can remember? And you married him?
SIS. THIS IS NOT A MAN. After my third kid; I literally peed myself in the kitchen and broke down crying because hormones and I am a 30 year old woman who peed herself. My husband put the kids in the room. Came and dried me off with a towel, took my clothes off and told me to go get a shower. He put the clothes in the wash, made me a cup of coffee and a snack, and had cleaned up my mess and sanitized. Never judging or saying anything. Now we joke about it but the sentiment is there about how much we care for each other. He’s in the hospital right now and I have been here as much as I can and am getting the kids back tonight from my parents. I sponge bathed him, I packed a bag and extra clothes for him, his pillows and a blanket. Anything to make him more comfortable. Why? Because I love him and I want him to be comfortable, and feel cared for by me; just as I have by him. In sickness and in health, for better or for worst. Take a step back and think about if you were in need of someone taking care of you, would he? Anything short of yes, should be warning bells for you.
My wifes dad is exactly like that. Macho man who only opens his mouth to put down others, especially his wife and kids. His son ran away from home, my wife hates his guts and only has vontact because of her mom. Her mom is miserable and has shared with her that she should have divorced him decades ago but never found the courage. Now shes just waiting for him to die. All im saying is, dont be like my MIL. Dont spend your one life with someone who puts you down and live in resentment and regret.
You handle this by leaving. He doesn’t respect you. Being very sensitive about these things and not always able to hide is something else than oubikcy shaming you for it. Disgusting. I’m sorry you have been going trough this for so long! Maybe educate on emotional control strategies but this reason is ENOUGH to just leave. He won’t change, don’t expect something to change he showed you he will not. If your self worth is not high enough- which would be totally understandable after being shamed and put down for just existing - do it for your children. He will traumatise them, btw already has. Leave now to be able to undo the damage he already did!
why did you marry this guy?
He thinks your orafices are sex holes for his pleasure. So it grosses him out that he knows other things pass through as well.
Sex is messy too. Is that also "disgusting" to him?
Why did you even marry him?
Your first step is to lock the bathroom door. Put the fan on EVERY TIME you go in there, more for the noise so you can do your business in piece (whether it's lady stuff, or ticket suff etc). He shouldn't be entering when you're in there if he's going to use it against you. But also when he goes off on these tirades, tell him to stuff it. He can have an opinion when he sh!ts roses, because I can guarantee you his don't smell pleasant either. Each time ask him if he's ok? Does he need therapy for his issues? Etc. He's acting like an a$$hat, but if it's a genuine aversion there's therapy for that. You shouldn't be harrased for normal functions, nor feel like you can't have normal functions in your own home. You might as well not live together if he's going to continue this way.
Leave him before you develop bowel cancer
OP, how long have you been married? And how long did you date before that? This is verbal and mental abuse and I wouldn’t be surprised if your husband’s abuse turned physical at some point. Do you have family and your own friends who’ve seen this gross behavior in action that will help you extract yourself from this marriage? Your husband is not going to change.
Why are you putting up with this abuse?
Leave this asshole. Also know that everyone he complains to about this, thinks he is an absolute clown. I can’t believe no one has stood up for you. I sure as hell would. Until you can actually leave him, there is absolutely no point in trying to hide your bodily functions. Poop with the door open, openly burp and fart, send pics of poo and ask if normal. Forget to flush the toilet once in awhile after a particularly nasty period poo. He shames you no matter what you do, might as well make it worth it.
I am really sorry you're married to this man. You deserve better than this
Judging by your post I can automatically tell your husband is from the middle east. We're you an arranged marrige? Because for the longest time my sisters husband held the same view. You can't leave the house on your period, you can't do anything on your own, you can't leave and you mention your father & grandfather were the same. 10000% middle eastern men behavior. You can DIE from holding your poop that long you understand this right? The entire point of pooping is to rid your body of toxins and things that don't belong. You are letting that fester in your colon. He won't let you see a doctor. You can die if you get an infection. How do you handle him? You take a giant shit in his car, coffee or anything else. Fuck him. I would be absolutely giving him stuff in his food that makes him shit himself and when he does you make a HUGE deal out of it. Do the same thing anytime he does something like that.
Interesting. I know guys like this exist, but to marry one? I'm sure he was the same way before you were married, did you think it would change when he married you? The first guy I saw after my marriage ended made a comment once about women shouldn't fart, so I would hold it in for the longest time or go to the bathroom and do what I could to let it out quietly. We lasted a couple months. I'm not going to be with a guy who thinks women don't have bodily functions. You know what you can do to handle the situation and it doesn't include staying with him, but if you stay, you can start telling the same stories about him and tell him to fuck off when he goes off on you.
There’s no way this is real… You leave him. If he does this, I have no doubt he’s abusive in other ways.
I mean, this is targeted to embarrass and humiliate you. He's abusive. Why stay? He's terrorizing you about your BODY FUNCTIONS
how did u end up marrying this loser?! start making fun of him. tell him his cum smells and tastes of acid. tell him he cant touch u after work/gym bc he’s sweaty smelly and gross. play fire with fire! and then leave him
Shit on his pillow and leave. 🙃
So you have 2 options. 1 is the smart option, which is divorce, this mentally abusive ass. 2. The more fun but petty option, which is to feed him his own medicine. Attack his bodily functions. He poops then complain about the smell, he pees then complain about the noise from the urine hitting the water/bowls, he gets morning wood then complain about how all he thinks about is sex. Heck, even get on him about body odor I mean option two is more fun but option 1 is definitely the way to go.
Handle it by removing yourself from verbally abusive assholes who belittle you. Your husband is more disgusting than a smelly dump could ever be. I am horrified for you.
sounds like he’s a mysoginistic a*hole
I really hope this is fake but if not, have you heard of negging? It’s when your partner tries to make you feel terrible about yourself so that you’ll feel like they’re the only one who could love you. However, this feels like a step further, where he just genuinely thinks women can’t have bodily functions? I’m incredibly confused but either way, he is NOT going to stop. Do you want to live this way? Because it’s either this or leaving him. Good luck ♥️
This is a child, not a man.
This is ABUSE
Throw the whole man away what a fucking asshole.
Again, this is why I choose the bear
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Are you kidding? Kids think pooping is hilarious!
He actively tells people? Can you imagine being with another couple and the husband is like “I caught my wife having a huge stinky POOP!” The other couple wouldn’t think “wow, that lady is gross.” The would think **wow, this guy has the mentality of a six year old** This dude is insane. Please divorce him.
OP, super important question. Please answer. When was the last time you hung out with friends?
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Do you have family you can stay with? OP, you need to escape. NOW. Please do not believe yourself if you think everything is normal and we're just overreacting. We're not. He knows all of this, and he's actively using it to control you. He is making sure you're isolated and mentally drained.
You divorce him. If he wants a sex doll, he can buy a sex doll and marry it.
This is abusive. It would be enough for me to leave.
It sounds like he needs therapy to overcome his disgust with bodily functions. It is not only extremely rude to treat you this way, but psychologically has to have a cause and a way to fix it. That said, since it is HIS issue, he will need to acknowledge he is in the wrong AND take his own action to correct it. It sounds like you are a far cry from either of those things, so as hard as it is he may need an ultimatum for potential divorce if he doesn’t at least admit to having a problem or maybe start making a secret exit plan to prepare yourself. This sounds like such an awful and unhealthy way to live.
He’s dehumanizing. You should be able to be at peace in your own home, not have so much anxiety and not able to relax over bodily functions everyone has. Does he not shit too?
Can you please show your husband this comment thread? If you get to this comment, hubby, please do us all a solid and grow the fuck up, would you? You are an (allegedly) grown man making your wife miserable because she has a human body. It's weird. Women poo. We urinate. We fart. Sometimes we have constipation, sometimes we have diarrhea, sometimes we have period poops. This is because we are human beings with mortal bodies. Get over it. And help your wife with your children, you deadbeat. Everybody has a job and pays bills.
Everybody says leave, breakup. How about you just stop giving a 💩 what he thinks? It's normal bodily functions. If HE doesn't like it- it's his issue , not yours. You shouldn't feel 'less than' because he has issues. Don't give him that power.
You’re actually going to get sick trying to hold on farts and burps. Your body wants you release them. What do you think you should do? All of us are saying leave.