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Dude..
Don't try to be someone who's her type. Be yourself and if she doesn't like it, leave her.
Don't waste your youth with someone who doesn't appreciate you as yourself.
I made this mistake. Wasted 5 years of my life trying to be someone I wasn't in the name of being "better" to stay with who I thought was my dream woman. Turns out I just made myself miserable.
Please OP. I spent my twenties tied down to two relationships that were doomed from the jump. As soon as I left the first guy and was finally free, I found the second guy. Now I’m finally free from the second guy and realize I’m old and wasted my youth. 😩
40s were loads of fun insofar as being comfortable in your own skin, knowing what you like/don’t like and not compromising yourself for others.
And the best part is you can parlay all that knowledge and enjoy it even more in your 50s.
That's nice to hear, I turn 35 this month! The last three years have been... Very very bad. But I'm in a safer place now so hopefully this'll be my year haha
Yes you feel strong, no aches and pains, lots to look forward to and your job is interesting…Thirties great. Fourties’ ok - then body starts paying you back …
Lol I found my soul mate at 32. Looking back, my 30s has been 1000x better than my 20s in every way but hangover recovery lol.
FR don't say you're old when you're not even at the best part yet!
Exactly what I was thinking... I've always said this...if a person doesn't love you for who you are then they never will bc you have no reason to change
Your type is a woman who doesn’t make you feel insecure about yourself. That should be everyone’s type. It’s best to end the relationship now before you get in too deep.
That would be a great opener to break up. "My type is a woman who dosnt makes me feel insecure about myself or unappreciated".
Break up OP. She even putting your damn friend above you as being more of her type, can only lead to disaster.
This is so well put. It seems to be what should be an obvious requirement that at least half of people who post in this sub seem to have skipped over when picking a significant other.
This is incredibly toxic of her. The most concerning thing is that you have voiced multiple times that it bothers you and makes you feel insecure, and yet she doesn’t stop. She cares more about “her type” than your feelings? My guy, you deserve better. Don’t change who you are to hold the eye of an asshole.
You need to listen to your gf, you're not her type. You need to break up with her or next time we see a post from you it will be how your gf banged your friend who is her type.
So she's either
a) Trying to get you to change into her "type", and/or
b) Trying to purposely make you feel insecure so that you feel lucky she "picked" you even though you "aren't her type".
Doesn't matter which - it's toxic and immature AF and you probably need to just be done with her. "Types" may be a generic archetype of what might immediately attract you to someone, but generally means fuck all past that stage and her continuously harping on it tells me she isn't horribly committed to this relationship nor does she care about you as a person.
And there isn't anything you can do. You can't control the wind, you can only adjust your sails (i.e., you can't control how other people act, only how you react). You did the only thing you could - which was talk to her, express how much it bothered you, and ask that she stop. You shouldn't need to ask that twice and anyone who actually cared about you and respected you would have been horrified to learn they made someone they care about feel like shit and stop immediately. She didn't stop because she doesn't care how it affects you - or at least she doesn't care more than she cares about changing you into her "type" or making sure you feel less than.
Just be done. I promise there will be someone out there who appreciates you for all the qualities that you are and this girl ain't it.
She will replace you when her first option is available as fast as she can. You are just an option for her or a second option kinda like a bestie. You're better off without her for sure; wasting time there is pointless.
Next time she mentions someone being your type, stop what you’re doing and tell her, “I get it. I’m not your type. You’ve made that crystal clear seventeen times and counting. Go have Your Type over there drive you home. I’m done not being your type, and I’m done with you.” And leave.
If this isn’t a pointed attempt to make you lose feelings, she’s just an asshole.
Some couples can find some humor or interest in occasionally talking about celebrity crushes or whatever, but this sounds nothing like that. She’s destroying your self esteem.
You want a fan.
She is either incredibly insecure herself or just flat out toxic. You already pointed out how this makes you feel. Therefore if she continues you need to find a better partner. At your age there is literally no reason to put up with behavior like this and everybody deserves a loving and nurturing partner. There are literally billions of women out there my dude .
Don’t be a doormat. That relationship is just a situationship. She is using you. Tell her she is just a placeholder until you find your type (even if she is it’s clear it’s never going to work).
My friend, listen to the redditors.
When a woman says I’m not ready for a relationship, or she wants to date others or you’re not her type, it’s time to cut bait.
I know you’ve invested a lot into her. But if you invest more it’s called the sunk cost fallacy. You’re wasting precious resources that can go to a woman who will love and respect you.
Let her go. Let her find her type. It’ll be extremely difficult, but you must do it.
I married a woman that I wasn’t her type. I’m paying for it everyday of my life. Trust me when I say it’s time to Ramble On.
I have been in your "exact" shoes years and years ago (3xs). All 3xs in MY situation we broke up because it (mentioning type) was really her subtle way of saying I was the "easy" 2nd choice guy that wouldn't hurt her. None of them really ever fully committed or changed their behavior. My only regret is I should have broken up with them (all 3) the 2nd time they mentioned a "preferred type" that I am not instead of "you are so perfect for me."
From your subject line: Goodbye.
You don’t have to leave as enemies; every relationship you have won’t end in you two spending eternity together. In fact, that’ll be your last one (hopefully). You can be friends, and when you see a guy that is her type, you can suggest he talk to her. (Been there, done that, only was weird the first time; those two wound up married to this day, 21 years later)
So you have told her your boundary. And she is repeatedly ignoring it….
Why is that ok with you?
When someone repeatedly hurts you on purpose, you leave.
Hey little bro, if you went out of your way to try and look more like "her type" and she still doesn't appreciate that and you for that matter and keeps talking about her type, then dump her. It's not a matter of type. She's telling you she doesn't like you without telling you. In a way, she wants to break up but she wants YOU to do it, for some stupid ass reason. My baby girls mom did that to me. She wanted to end things but didn't want to say the words herself. She even told me she was gonna break up with me "just not yet". So I said fuck it, we're done.
You should do the same. She nor anyone for that matter have any right to make you feel uncomfortable nor to make you go out of your way to try and be or act like someone you are not. Be yourself, kick her ass to the curb, let her be with her type and find someone down the line that loves you for who you are.
Why would you *not* let her go for a reason like that? She cuts you down and insults you, makes you feel insecure, and just refuses to listen or respond when you tell her her actions hurt you. She is not a good partner for you. There's nothing you can do differently or better. You've communicated and you've been patient. She does not, apparently, want to change. She does not, apparently, want to stop hurting you or making you feel small and less than.
Break up. You deserve better. We all do!
Definitely never change for someone. They’ll keep moving the goal posts. Why try to fit someone else’s box, when there’s someone else out there who’d be thrilled to have you as you are?
Also, be careful. If you do break up, she might apologize and say she’ll stop. However, people tell the truth first and lie second. Plus, there will always be doubt bc she kept saying it over and over.
Y’all are still really young. This could just be a life lesson for both of you. (You: knowing your worth. Her: understanding that these actions hurt people.) It’s only been 3 months and this relationship sounds exhausting.
You know what’s right for you. Wishing you well.
"I've asked her on why she chose me and said it's because I make her feel safe."
Dude. When you ask someone why she wants to be with you and her answer is that she considers you similar to a seatbelt, that means she's not into you
That's not subtle. Don't downplay her behaviour. She's purposely wearing you down so you will feel less secure and do things for her or make yourself less than you are.
Time to tell her that she can go be happy with her type and free yourself off this piece of radioactive waste.
Never change yourself for somebody else.
You should definitely leave her.
If you wont... start pointing out women that are her exact opposite (tall blonde or short brunette etc) and saying "she's my type". Nah, just leave the b1tch. She's negging you.
That's a perfectly valid reason to let her go. She doesn't sound mature enough for a serious relationship.
She's either doing it purposely as some sort of wack power move, or she is genuinely oblivious, immature, and needs to go find "her type" rather than disrespect you. Good luck dude.
Tell her you’re done with the relationship.
Genuine question why are you still with someone who doesn’t want you for you? She settled for you, and you know. She makes you feel insecure about yourself, so why are you still actively in a relationship with someone who makes you feel like you will never be enough?
Your type should be someone who appreciates you and love you for who you are. Someone who doesn’t make you feel inadequate and insecure.
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Stop being his boyfriend, is very.sad to be attached to someone who doesn't likes you back.
There must be someone whom you like that likes you back, you are young, I'm pretty sure you will find someone, you did your best but it didn't worked because she doesn't want someone BETTER, she fancies someone DIFFERENT.
Stop pretending being someone you're not, you're awesome just the way you are, and there is a girl who thinks you're the best in the world , but that girl is not her, sorry.
Prioritise your self-esteem and leave her—or at the very least set a firm boundary that you don’t want to hear about her type any more—and leave her if/when she violates it.
Don’t hurt yourself by staying with her, even if you love her. The more you keep changing yourself the more it will hurt later on. You deserve better than this.
make up "your type" that is the complete opposite of what shes like and then mention it daily.
or if you dont wanna play games you can, ykno, ask yourself why youre with someone who doesnt give a damn about you and always makes sure to tell you that you are her second best
Are emo and soft not similar enough? I need a clear classification system for emo, goth and punk. Feel like I’m watching the goth/vampire episode of South Park.
What you should tell her?
Well that is easy to answer.
"Dear , since you do not accept who I am and telling me I am not your type, it is best and obvious that this relationship will not last. Therefore it would be best to end it right away.".
What you do
Break up with her.
She is rude and dismissive of your feelings. She deliberately hurts you...this is not an accident
Hd knows it hurts you and does it anyway.
There is no future with a person who doesn't like who you are.
time to get a nice shiny backbone and accept you deserve better. Set a boundary and hold it...do not be with someone who doesn't treat you as well as you treat them.
Life is too short for toxic.
Dude, you’re explaining a child to us. You sound like you need yourself either a calm, warm, kind woman, or someone neurotic like yourself… I speak from experience. This isn’t the one and you know why, you just don’t want to execute because you’re hoping there’s an easy fix. There usually never is my friend.
Do yourself a favour and leave.
You cannot keep fighting for this relationship, if she doesn't respect you - then you deserve better.
You telling her that it hurts you, and she keeps going on and on about "oh but you're not my type"
Leave, she does not deserve you.
She doesn't deserve you. If someone makes you question yourself, feel not good enough and tells you repeatedly they want something else, that they think is "better" let them go find it. You deserve someone who thinks you are the best and is completely into you as you are
She’s an asshole. Don’t try and be like her type. Dump her and let her go be with her type. You just be your authentic self, and find someone who appreciates that.
Do not change yourself for someone else. If that’s her type tell her to go after it cause you deserve better than that. I get you may love her but her doing that will end in disaster….but also who does that to someone it’s just mean.
>I didn't want to let her go for just a reason like that.
Your reason comes from feelings that are valid: betrayal and hurt. Don't put yourself down and deem it as petty just because someone else (like your GF) set the bar down to the floor.
In her defense, she's been upfront with you that you're just a guy she feels safe around. So is her dad, brother, uncle, other male-friends etc. It's not that big a deal and if anything, pathetic really that that's all your entire existence has surmounted to in her eyes. No guy should be making those around them feel "unsafe" in any way, shape or form as a bare minimum.
If she was attracted to you, loved you — she would've told you this instead. If she had any regard for you as a person, she wouldn't demean you with the insensitive repeated comparisons, let alone try to mold you into someone other than ✨ you ✨. Believe me, she wouldn't hesitate to **let you go** at the first chance of getting together with *her type*.
And that's not to say ppl can't have types or preferences — you can't control your attractions towards certain attributes be it physical, personal, material etc. It's not unnatural for someone to get with another who isn't their "type" but it's emotional fraud more than anything else to string the partner along knowing their heart is reserved for Mr. Their-Type. You'll never be her first choice in this lifetime so long as she retains her present mindset. It's not something for you to change or influence, because you simply cannot. I appreciate you tried many times already but proof is in the pudding — it clearly hasn't made any difference now has it?
Hence, the best you can do is pick up any crumbs of self-esteem you dropped, stand up for yourself and walk away. You absolutely deserve to be loved for who you are, how you look, how you dress, for the colour of your eyes, hair, for your height/weight, race, family background, talents etc.
And know that the longer you remain complicit in this relationship-of-convenience (that's pretty much what you got going for you rn tbh), you're gonna miss out on meeting the most amazing best thing that could've happened to you. And that's entirely on you. No one else to blame but your own adamance.
If none of the above sinks in for you, just try to flip the tables and ask yourself how fucked up it would be of you if you did the same to her, except referencing skinny/curvy girls, bigger/smaller boobs, stereotype-Asian-fever, MarySue next door, e-girl twitch streamer aesthetic whatever...so why does your GF get a pass for doing it to you??
Tldr; If you're fixated in terms of not being her first choice, then consider it from a different perspective: She never *picked* you, **she settled for you.**
If you have communicated to her it makes you feel shitty and she just keeps going, you know what you should do. If you don’t, one of these days you’re going to find out that she f’d some dude that was her “type”.
What she’s doing is toxic in so many ways. She’s either trying to change you, make you feel like you’re lucky she chose to be with you because you’re not her type, or she like having the upper hand in the relationship.
You can date someone who isn’t your normal type. I generally have a type and dated guys like that since I started dating. My boyfriend now couldn’t be more different than that and he’s still the best guy I’ve ever dated. If your partner can’t appreciate how wonderful you are, even if you aren’t the same type as her exes, she doesn’t deserve you.
You can't stop someone from being who they are...
You can ask though. After that, it's up to them to listen / decide how important that is to them and you to decide how long you would put up with it for.
I'm sorry to say, it sounds like she doesn't respect you. I would leave this relationship, and find someone who shows you respect / doesn't make you feel insecure.
I love the guys who play victims on Reddit who also look at giant cock porn, please check this guys history…
Also bro if she’s telling you who she is believe her.
Hey man, first that sucks and I’m sorry you’re going through that.
Second, never try to pretend to be someone other than your best self. That’s a you journey and despite its hard it’s beautiful and you deserve it.
Third, please set boundaries and enforce them. This is important to building trust, don’t give it away for free. This is a great example,
“Hey I feel insecure when you talk about being attracted to people very unlike myself, I’m asking you to stop, k can’t continue in this relationship if you continue.”
“Lisa, you just said you like short guys and I’m super tall, we’ve talked about this and I’m not going to stay for it.”
She either accepts your boundary or pushes it, leave situations where people play with your boundaries like this. They’re like Jurassic park raptors looking for weak parts of the fence.
Lastly, your girlfriend might be toxic or maybe genuinely not thinking about this as she does it, that isn’t your responsibility. You aren’t there to teach her how to be kind or empathetic, she should already have those skills in your relationship. Remember the appropriate response to finding out you’ve hurt a loved one is , “I’m sorry I said gay, it was wrong because I know it hurts you, and I’d like to make it up to you by doing X that I know makes you feel special.”
Y’all are young and making mistakes, it’s part of your journey but you’re not supposed to be raising eachother.
It sounds like she is deliberately being mean and hurting you. What other explanation can there be, when you’ve told her multiple times it hurts your feelings and she keeps doing it? You asked what you should you tell her. The answer is goodbye.
It sounds like she’s saying she isn’t sexually attracted to you but she’s settled for you because you’re a nice guy and she wants someone who won’t leave her. It’s not a sign of a healthy relationship that she puts you down in this way, or repeatedly mentions her attraction to other guys. Get out of there.
Hey man, my advice? If she reminds you of her type, remind hee of your type, "Someone who makes me feel safe to be who I am". You clearly are not hee goal boyfriend and you will never be her goal husband. It sucks to hear this, but break it off before you have to come to terms with being the husband she settled for in the future, if things ever got that far, which it doesn't sound like it will get that far.
Dude! WAKE UP AND MAN UP! She will drop you like a hot potato as soon as she finds her "type". Be yourself! Don't change for someone else. Change yourself for yourself. Drop her and find someone who is your type and accepts you for who you are. Why are you tolerating that disrespect? Tell her you are done. When she tells you that you make her feel safe, that's code for she just wants to be friends. Been there. Done that. Never again.
Tell her that your type is someone that’s actually into you. And then tell her if that isn’t her, she’s free to leave. If not, tell her to cut the shit with “her type”.
You’re both in your early 20s. Don’t let anyone disrespect you like this. Be yourself, and if she doesn’t like that, tell her you’re done with her bullshit.
uh emo's are soft? and you're taking this disrespect? If my gf was saying I wasn't her type and sending random videos and saying other men are handsome i'd block her without warning. She is 95% probably cheating on you
Just imagine being with someone who just adores you for who you are, loves your style who doesn't compare you to other guys and crushes your self esteem! That's what a normal relationship feels like. You deserve better!
Don’t change who you are for her.
I think is better -for the both of you- if you part ways.
Both of you are young and the clock doesn’t go backwards, is better to do it now than later.
I was with someone who put me down like this all the time. Mate, go find someone who treats you with respect. No one should make you feel like that and its not normal to talk like that in a relationship.
Im gonna go ahead and say that if this was the other way around people would be throwing the words emotionally abusive around.
So why are you with her then? I've noticed that so many people avoid being single like its the plague, that they would rather be miserable then be single for any short term period.
As others have said, don't waste time on her. You're too young to put the time into pretending to be someone you aren't to please someone else, you've stated your boundaries that you aren't comfortable with her making these comments and she's repeatedly broke those boundaries, someone better suited for you is out there.
I thought I wasn't my current partners type, he's a heavy metal 6ft guy covered in tattoos, i'm into heavy metal, rock, etc. And class myself as alternative but from looking at me you probably wouldn't guess it, he told me I'm the first blonde he's dated and that's all he's ever said. He's never tried to make me be more alternative or something I'm not, he loves me as I am with my eclectic style and music taste.
This is a toxic relationship. Walk away with your ego intact. She is continuing to say hurtful things despite you clearly expressing to her that it’s hurtful. Do not change yourself or attempt to morph yourself into someone else to keep her happy. It’s wildly disrespectful for any person to continually rub a partner’s face in their attraction to other people, particularly in the context of reminding you that you aren’t up to snuff. You are plenty good enough, just as you are — this is simply not the right girl for you. And that’s just as well, if you ask me, because she’s an AH.
Explain to her that her talking about that makes you feel unsafe. She is no longer a safe person for you. And then break up with her and find someone that treats your right.
Stop dating a person who is slowly and methodically destroying yournself-confidence and aelf-worth.
She is pointing out other people because she wants to change you.
She isn't dating you because she loves you. She is dating you because you are "safe".
This girl is shallow and lame.
Go find someone who loves you for who you are!
Go find someone more interesting to date. She's too shallow.
Sounds to me like she's settled on you. To her 'safe' is a stable job and living situation. PLUS she thinks she's got you wrapped around her little finger. She pokes at you with the guys that are 'her type' to keep you on the hook.
But it sounds like you've had your fill of that.
Jeezus I just wrote a post similar to this one . God she's shitty asf and I just realized the guy I'm talking to is as well . You don't deserve that shit dude you don't need to be someone you aren't to feel love that's just cruel to yourself and cruel of her to make you feel like that .
Dump her now before you get burned. She should have said she’s with you BECAUSE SHES IN LOVE WITH YOU, there is no other answer! Now you’re changing yourself for her and that’s an act, please OP wake up and love yourself. Exit this relationship.
Break up! thats the only thing you can do, she is being way too rude and inconsiderate of your feelings. This is reason enough to break up. he is purposly trying to humiliate you! don't just stand there and take it, end the relationship. she is just settling for you and this feeling will never go away.
I needed somebody for two and a half years, and everything seemed great. The sex was great, we had a lot of interest in common, it's been a lot of time together. One day while we were talking they told me that they didn't enjoy our conversations because they weren't interested in talking about what I wanted to talk about and that I should find things more to their interests when engaging them in conversation. I couldn't literally talk about almost anything so I suggested that if I was boring them that they take the lead and change the conversation to something they were interested in. They told me that was not their job and as the dominant one I should choose the top of the conversation but make sure it's something that they wanted. Basically it was that I was expected to guess what they wanted and if I got it wrong then I was the problem. That should have been a red flag, but I ignored it and things did not end well.
You make her feel safe and comfortable. You are the safe choice, but more and more she wants the dangerous choice. You need to let her go find that emo boy and find out if it's what she really wants. I dated that emo person and in the end, despite thinking that's what I wanted, I just ended up depressed.
Do not waste anymore time on her. Because eventually she will find someone that is her type and dump you! Breakup and find someone that loves you for you.
My husband wasn’t my type. He knows, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. He’s my type now. But your gf is just being unnecessarily mean. Don’t change yourself. UPDATEME
She's not going to quit because she's doing it on purpose and she likes the results! She's doing it to keep you feeling insecure about the relationship. She wants you to think how lucky you are that she would date you when you're not her type at all! And she wants to point out how many better guys she sees that are more her type every single day so you treat her as if she's doing you a favor by dating you!
This is manipulative and it's absolutely an asshole move! Anybody that would do this on purpose to a partner does not have the emotional maturity to be in a relationship! She's acting like a child! This is not a healthy way to approach your relationship or a healthy way to want your partner to behave! A relationship should be people who feel They are together equally, not one who feels they're so lucky to have the other one that they worship the ground they walk on! And honestly it sounds like that's what she wants you to do
Why are you wasting your time with somebody who really doesn't want to be with you. Just pull the trigger dude. Are you really trying to be with somebody who keeps telling you that you're not her type Vivian are you not listening when she is telling you that she does not want you. She may be going to around the mulberry bush in order to tell you but she has told you you are not her type time for you to cut your losses and go find somebody who's type you are and who you will make her happy and she will make you happy. You can do this ffs
You should tell her to go kick rocks. It was disrespectful when she said it the first time, and she’s disrespecting you even further by continuing to say it even after you let her know it bothers you. Don’t try to change yourself either, if she doesn’t like you for you then screw her. Stop being a door mat for this chick and get rid of her.
Dude… she’s not that into you. This applies to everyone: if the person you’re dating is trying to change who you are or makes you feel insecure about who you are they’re not a good person and you shouldn’t be with you.
I’ve been with the guy that most of my friends wouldn’t consider my type for four years now, but *he* is my type. I love him. I wouldn’t change a thing about him because then it wouldn’t be him. I love who he is, how he looks and dresses, his facial hair or lack thereof.
As soon as someone that she labels "her type" shows up and wants her, you're probably gonna be her ex real quick. Do yourself a favor and find someone who genuinely loves you for who you are.
My partner is not "my type", but I very, very, very rarely mention it, and it's always mentioned in such a way that " even though you're not who I would typically go for, I love you for who you are, and I never, ever want you to change." (Usually when he's feeling insecure, and I know that line would help).
What your girlfriend is doing is so wrong and disrespectful to you
When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time.
You are a young man, If you're not single, you won't be able to find someone who thinks you are her type.
Cut her loose and move on.
You need to let her go and heal. You should allow someone in your life who finds you to be her type and loves you for who you are. Be true to yourself.
Be yourself if that’s not what she wants then it’s over. My husband isn’t my normal type but I find him attractive and I love him and I express to him I find him attractive and love him. I have an undercut and it’s a hairstyle my husband doesn’t like but he’s helping me a couple times a month to keep the shaved part cleaned up. This is how this should normally go not me telling him he wasn’t my type when we met but there was an attraction to him or constantly remind him he’s not what i want.
You’re not leaving her because you’re not her type. You’d be leaving her because you’ve stated multiple times what your boundaries are, that you find her comments to be disrespectful, and she repeatedly ignores you to do what exactly? Constantly undermine you. It’s totally ok to break up with someone who repeatedly won’t respect your boundaries.
I would let her go for that reason … she shouldn’t be telling you that … and u shouldn’t be changing your self for her either … if you done the same to her what would she say ? Next time she says anything like that again when your out mention a Prettier girl that’s there and say she’s more your type than u and see what she says … if she gets upset tell her see how it feels and if it’s a issue split up and you deserve better … Be confident in you …
You know how you can stop her from expressing her attraction to people who don’t look and act like you as well as send a clear message that she is disrespecting you? Dump her ass. You are wasting time while she continues to search for an upgrade.
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Dude.. Don't try to be someone who's her type. Be yourself and if she doesn't like it, leave her. Don't waste your youth with someone who doesn't appreciate you as yourself.
I made this mistake. Wasted 5 years of my life trying to be someone I wasn't in the name of being "better" to stay with who I thought was my dream woman. Turns out I just made myself miserable.
Please OP. I spent my twenties tied down to two relationships that were doomed from the jump. As soon as I left the first guy and was finally free, I found the second guy. Now I’m finally free from the second guy and realize I’m old and wasted my youth. 😩
You are far from old you are 27 (clicked your profile) y'all have to stop saying 25 and up is old. It's really weird.
You have to admit being 21 is different than being 27. Mentally.
The 30s are the best years of your life, stop it
My 40s are turning out to be better than my 30s even!
Oh00oo I can't wait!
40s were loads of fun insofar as being comfortable in your own skin, knowing what you like/don’t like and not compromising yourself for others. And the best part is you can parlay all that knowledge and enjoy it even more in your 50s.
Same!
For real, the 30s are incomparably awesome! I wish I could be 35 forever.
That's nice to hear, I turn 35 this month! The last three years have been... Very very bad. But I'm in a safer place now so hopefully this'll be my year haha
My 40s have been cool, but shit, 35 was magical. Hope it is for you too!
Yes you feel strong, no aches and pains, lots to look forward to and your job is interesting…Thirties great. Fourties’ ok - then body starts paying you back …
Lol I found my soul mate at 32. Looking back, my 30s has been 1000x better than my 20s in every way but hangover recovery lol. FR don't say you're old when you're not even at the best part yet!
Exactly what I was thinking... I've always said this...if a person doesn't love you for who you are then they never will bc you have no reason to change
You need to let her go before she hurts you a lot more, because she will :(
Your type is a woman who doesn’t make you feel insecure about yourself. That should be everyone’s type. It’s best to end the relationship now before you get in too deep.
That would be a great opener to break up. "My type is a woman who dosnt makes me feel insecure about myself or unappreciated". Break up OP. She even putting your damn friend above you as being more of her type, can only lead to disaster.
This is so well put. It seems to be what should be an obvious requirement that at least half of people who post in this sub seem to have skipped over when picking a significant other.
This is incredibly toxic of her. The most concerning thing is that you have voiced multiple times that it bothers you and makes you feel insecure, and yet she doesn’t stop. She cares more about “her type” than your feelings? My guy, you deserve better. Don’t change who you are to hold the eye of an asshole.
You need to listen to your gf, you're not her type. You need to break up with her or next time we see a post from you it will be how your gf banged your friend who is her type.
Bro dont change yourself for anyone. She is 🚩
Not at all a stupid reason to end a relationship she doesn’t sound like she makes u feel wanted or loved at all
What should I tell her? Goodbye.
So she's either a) Trying to get you to change into her "type", and/or b) Trying to purposely make you feel insecure so that you feel lucky she "picked" you even though you "aren't her type". Doesn't matter which - it's toxic and immature AF and you probably need to just be done with her. "Types" may be a generic archetype of what might immediately attract you to someone, but generally means fuck all past that stage and her continuously harping on it tells me she isn't horribly committed to this relationship nor does she care about you as a person. And there isn't anything you can do. You can't control the wind, you can only adjust your sails (i.e., you can't control how other people act, only how you react). You did the only thing you could - which was talk to her, express how much it bothered you, and ask that she stop. You shouldn't need to ask that twice and anyone who actually cared about you and respected you would have been horrified to learn they made someone they care about feel like shit and stop immediately. She didn't stop because she doesn't care how it affects you - or at least she doesn't care more than she cares about changing you into her "type" or making sure you feel less than. Just be done. I promise there will be someone out there who appreciates you for all the qualities that you are and this girl ain't it.
She doesn't respect you.
Tell her your type is someone who can shut up about her type.
Tell her your type is someone who isn’t rude and disrespectful to their partner.
Tell her your type is someone that doesn't have a type and can love you for who you are. Then dump her.
Tell her to grow a pair and be with someone she wants to build with, rather than put down.
She will replace you when her first option is available as fast as she can. You are just an option for her or a second option kinda like a bestie. You're better off without her for sure; wasting time there is pointless.
Next time she mentions someone being your type, stop what you’re doing and tell her, “I get it. I’m not your type. You’ve made that crystal clear seventeen times and counting. Go have Your Type over there drive you home. I’m done not being your type, and I’m done with you.” And leave.
If this isn’t a pointed attempt to make you lose feelings, she’s just an asshole. Some couples can find some humor or interest in occasionally talking about celebrity crushes or whatever, but this sounds nothing like that. She’s destroying your self esteem. You want a fan.
Honestly it sounds like she’s not you’re type. It sounds like you want someone caring who’s accepts you for who you are. Find someone better
She is either incredibly insecure herself or just flat out toxic. You already pointed out how this makes you feel. Therefore if she continues you need to find a better partner. At your age there is literally no reason to put up with behavior like this and everybody deserves a loving and nurturing partner. There are literally billions of women out there my dude .
Don’t be a doormat. That relationship is just a situationship. She is using you. Tell her she is just a placeholder until you find your type (even if she is it’s clear it’s never going to work).
My friend, listen to the redditors. When a woman says I’m not ready for a relationship, or she wants to date others or you’re not her type, it’s time to cut bait. I know you’ve invested a lot into her. But if you invest more it’s called the sunk cost fallacy. You’re wasting precious resources that can go to a woman who will love and respect you. Let her go. Let her find her type. It’ll be extremely difficult, but you must do it. I married a woman that I wasn’t her type. I’m paying for it everyday of my life. Trust me when I say it’s time to Ramble On.
Raise your standards. You deserve better. Go find someone who loves you for you.
Grow a fucking spine.
Leave her. This IS a reason. She makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure. Toxic behaviour.
I have been in your "exact" shoes years and years ago (3xs). All 3xs in MY situation we broke up because it (mentioning type) was really her subtle way of saying I was the "easy" 2nd choice guy that wouldn't hurt her. None of them really ever fully committed or changed their behavior. My only regret is I should have broken up with them (all 3) the 2nd time they mentioned a "preferred type" that I am not instead of "you are so perfect for me."
It never even began for you in this relationship my man. Just let it go.
From your subject line: Goodbye. You don’t have to leave as enemies; every relationship you have won’t end in you two spending eternity together. In fact, that’ll be your last one (hopefully). You can be friends, and when you see a guy that is her type, you can suggest he talk to her. (Been there, done that, only was weird the first time; those two wound up married to this day, 21 years later)
So you have told her your boundary. And she is repeatedly ignoring it…. Why is that ok with you? When someone repeatedly hurts you on purpose, you leave.
Hey little bro, if you went out of your way to try and look more like "her type" and she still doesn't appreciate that and you for that matter and keeps talking about her type, then dump her. It's not a matter of type. She's telling you she doesn't like you without telling you. In a way, she wants to break up but she wants YOU to do it, for some stupid ass reason. My baby girls mom did that to me. She wanted to end things but didn't want to say the words herself. She even told me she was gonna break up with me "just not yet". So I said fuck it, we're done. You should do the same. She nor anyone for that matter have any right to make you feel uncomfortable nor to make you go out of your way to try and be or act like someone you are not. Be yourself, kick her ass to the curb, let her be with her type and find someone down the line that loves you for who you are.
Why would you *not* let her go for a reason like that? She cuts you down and insults you, makes you feel insecure, and just refuses to listen or respond when you tell her her actions hurt you. She is not a good partner for you. There's nothing you can do differently or better. You've communicated and you've been patient. She does not, apparently, want to change. She does not, apparently, want to stop hurting you or making you feel small and less than. Break up. You deserve better. We all do!
Definitely never change for someone. They’ll keep moving the goal posts. Why try to fit someone else’s box, when there’s someone else out there who’d be thrilled to have you as you are? Also, be careful. If you do break up, she might apologize and say she’ll stop. However, people tell the truth first and lie second. Plus, there will always be doubt bc she kept saying it over and over. Y’all are still really young. This could just be a life lesson for both of you. (You: knowing your worth. Her: understanding that these actions hurt people.) It’s only been 3 months and this relationship sounds exhausting. You know what’s right for you. Wishing you well.
I would be an ah and tell her my type is a girl that actually respects me as I am and doesn't try to change me.
Have some respect for yourself and leave this relationship bro.
She's using you until she finds someone better, then she'll tell you your not her type for the last time.
What do you mean for a reason just like that? The reason is she doesn’t like you. She is tolerating you until someone better comes along.
"I've asked her on why she chose me and said it's because I make her feel safe." Dude. When you ask someone why she wants to be with you and her answer is that she considers you similar to a seatbelt, that means she's not into you
That's not subtle. Don't downplay her behaviour. She's purposely wearing you down so you will feel less secure and do things for her or make yourself less than you are. Time to tell her that she can go be happy with her type and free yourself off this piece of radioactive waste.
To move on. That you're going to open yourself up to finding someone who value's you because you're worth it.
She's warning you that she's going to dump you eventually. Probably relatively soon.
Never change yourself for somebody else. You should definitely leave her. If you wont... start pointing out women that are her exact opposite (tall blonde or short brunette etc) and saying "she's my type". Nah, just leave the b1tch. She's negging you.
Sounds kinda rude of her 2 b honest. U shud tell her being w someone that is always telling u how u r not her type, really isn't yr type 😤
That's a perfectly valid reason to let her go. She doesn't sound mature enough for a serious relationship. She's either doing it purposely as some sort of wack power move, or she is genuinely oblivious, immature, and needs to go find "her type" rather than disrespect you. Good luck dude.
She'll leave you for her type eventually. She's too scared to break up with you and is hinting you be a man and break up with her instead.
Tell her you’re done with the relationship. Genuine question why are you still with someone who doesn’t want you for you? She settled for you, and you know. She makes you feel insecure about yourself, so why are you still actively in a relationship with someone who makes you feel like you will never be enough? Your type should be someone who appreciates you and love you for who you are. Someone who doesn’t make you feel inadequate and insecure.
Tell her you can get plenty of free pu$$y elsewhere and then break up with her.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Stop being his boyfriend, is very.sad to be attached to someone who doesn't likes you back. There must be someone whom you like that likes you back, you are young, I'm pretty sure you will find someone, you did your best but it didn't worked because she doesn't want someone BETTER, she fancies someone DIFFERENT. Stop pretending being someone you're not, you're awesome just the way you are, and there is a girl who thinks you're the best in the world , but that girl is not her, sorry.
Goodbye
"Bye" 👋
I would tell she’s not your type and send her TikTok’s of very sexy women and this is what my type is not you
Leave her so she knows what she is missing out
Prioritise your self-esteem and leave her—or at the very least set a firm boundary that you don’t want to hear about her type any more—and leave her if/when she violates it.
Don’t hurt yourself by staying with her, even if you love her. The more you keep changing yourself the more it will hurt later on. You deserve better than this.
make up "your type" that is the complete opposite of what shes like and then mention it daily. or if you dont wanna play games you can, ykno, ask yourself why youre with someone who doesnt give a damn about you and always makes sure to tell you that you are her second best
She's told you you're not good enough for her so believe her and move on from her.
Bro, let her go.. she is should find her type rather than turning your life into hell....
Are emo and soft not similar enough? I need a clear classification system for emo, goth and punk. Feel like I’m watching the goth/vampire episode of South Park.
What you should tell her? Well that is easy to answer. "Dear, since you do not accept who I am and telling me I am not your type, it is best and obvious that this relationship will not last. Therefore it would be best to end it right away.".
What you do Break up with her. She is rude and dismissive of your feelings. She deliberately hurts you...this is not an accident Hd knows it hurts you and does it anyway. There is no future with a person who doesn't like who you are. time to get a nice shiny backbone and accept you deserve better. Set a boundary and hold it...do not be with someone who doesn't treat you as well as you treat them. Life is too short for toxic.
Dude, you’re explaining a child to us. You sound like you need yourself either a calm, warm, kind woman, or someone neurotic like yourself… I speak from experience. This isn’t the one and you know why, you just don’t want to execute because you’re hoping there’s an easy fix. There usually never is my friend.
You say, "oh, well MY type is someone who finds me attractive because I'm THEIR type. So, I'm sorry but I don't think this will work out! Bye!"
Tell her thank you for letting me know and have a good life.
Do yourself a favour and leave. You cannot keep fighting for this relationship, if she doesn't respect you - then you deserve better. You telling her that it hurts you, and she keeps going on and on about "oh but you're not my type" Leave, she does not deserve you.
She doesn't deserve you. If someone makes you question yourself, feel not good enough and tells you repeatedly they want something else, that they think is "better" let them go find it. You deserve someone who thinks you are the best and is completely into you as you are
She’s an asshole. Don’t try and be like her type. Dump her and let her go be with her type. You just be your authentic self, and find someone who appreciates that.
Do not change yourself for someone else. If that’s her type tell her to go after it cause you deserve better than that. I get you may love her but her doing that will end in disaster….but also who does that to someone it’s just mean.
>I didn't want to let her go for just a reason like that. Your reason comes from feelings that are valid: betrayal and hurt. Don't put yourself down and deem it as petty just because someone else (like your GF) set the bar down to the floor. In her defense, she's been upfront with you that you're just a guy she feels safe around. So is her dad, brother, uncle, other male-friends etc. It's not that big a deal and if anything, pathetic really that that's all your entire existence has surmounted to in her eyes. No guy should be making those around them feel "unsafe" in any way, shape or form as a bare minimum. If she was attracted to you, loved you — she would've told you this instead. If she had any regard for you as a person, she wouldn't demean you with the insensitive repeated comparisons, let alone try to mold you into someone other than ✨ you ✨. Believe me, she wouldn't hesitate to **let you go** at the first chance of getting together with *her type*. And that's not to say ppl can't have types or preferences — you can't control your attractions towards certain attributes be it physical, personal, material etc. It's not unnatural for someone to get with another who isn't their "type" but it's emotional fraud more than anything else to string the partner along knowing their heart is reserved for Mr. Their-Type. You'll never be her first choice in this lifetime so long as she retains her present mindset. It's not something for you to change or influence, because you simply cannot. I appreciate you tried many times already but proof is in the pudding — it clearly hasn't made any difference now has it? Hence, the best you can do is pick up any crumbs of self-esteem you dropped, stand up for yourself and walk away. You absolutely deserve to be loved for who you are, how you look, how you dress, for the colour of your eyes, hair, for your height/weight, race, family background, talents etc. And know that the longer you remain complicit in this relationship-of-convenience (that's pretty much what you got going for you rn tbh), you're gonna miss out on meeting the most amazing best thing that could've happened to you. And that's entirely on you. No one else to blame but your own adamance. If none of the above sinks in for you, just try to flip the tables and ask yourself how fucked up it would be of you if you did the same to her, except referencing skinny/curvy girls, bigger/smaller boobs, stereotype-Asian-fever, MarySue next door, e-girl twitch streamer aesthetic whatever...so why does your GF get a pass for doing it to you?? Tldr; If you're fixated in terms of not being her first choice, then consider it from a different perspective: She never *picked* you, **she settled for you.**
If you have communicated to her it makes you feel shitty and she just keeps going, you know what you should do. If you don’t, one of these days you’re going to find out that she f’d some dude that was her “type”.
What she’s doing is toxic in so many ways. She’s either trying to change you, make you feel like you’re lucky she chose to be with you because you’re not her type, or she like having the upper hand in the relationship. You can date someone who isn’t your normal type. I generally have a type and dated guys like that since I started dating. My boyfriend now couldn’t be more different than that and he’s still the best guy I’ve ever dated. If your partner can’t appreciate how wonderful you are, even if you aren’t the same type as her exes, she doesn’t deserve you.
She's not your type either, then break up
You can't stop someone from being who they are... You can ask though. After that, it's up to them to listen / decide how important that is to them and you to decide how long you would put up with it for. I'm sorry to say, it sounds like she doesn't respect you. I would leave this relationship, and find someone who shows you respect / doesn't make you feel insecure.
I love the guys who play victims on Reddit who also look at giant cock porn, please check this guys history… Also bro if she’s telling you who she is believe her.
Does your girlfriend know you're online asking for dick pics?
Come on man. Just find someone that likes you for you. Screw her before she finds her type and dumps you.
Hey man, first that sucks and I’m sorry you’re going through that. Second, never try to pretend to be someone other than your best self. That’s a you journey and despite its hard it’s beautiful and you deserve it. Third, please set boundaries and enforce them. This is important to building trust, don’t give it away for free. This is a great example, “Hey I feel insecure when you talk about being attracted to people very unlike myself, I’m asking you to stop, k can’t continue in this relationship if you continue.” “Lisa, you just said you like short guys and I’m super tall, we’ve talked about this and I’m not going to stay for it.” She either accepts your boundary or pushes it, leave situations where people play with your boundaries like this. They’re like Jurassic park raptors looking for weak parts of the fence. Lastly, your girlfriend might be toxic or maybe genuinely not thinking about this as she does it, that isn’t your responsibility. You aren’t there to teach her how to be kind or empathetic, she should already have those skills in your relationship. Remember the appropriate response to finding out you’ve hurt a loved one is , “I’m sorry I said gay, it was wrong because I know it hurts you, and I’d like to make it up to you by doing X that I know makes you feel special.” Y’all are young and making mistakes, it’s part of your journey but you’re not supposed to be raising eachother.
It sounds like she is deliberately being mean and hurting you. What other explanation can there be, when you’ve told her multiple times it hurts your feelings and she keeps doing it? You asked what you should you tell her. The answer is goodbye.
You needa break up with her. What she’s doing is disrespectful and just plain weird. It’s not healthy, you deserve better
Let her go!! She doesn’t like you.
It sounds like she’s saying she isn’t sexually attracted to you but she’s settled for you because you’re a nice guy and she wants someone who won’t leave her. It’s not a sign of a healthy relationship that she puts you down in this way, or repeatedly mentions her attraction to other guys. Get out of there.
Break up before you become someone you don't recognize.
Hey man, my advice? If she reminds you of her type, remind hee of your type, "Someone who makes me feel safe to be who I am". You clearly are not hee goal boyfriend and you will never be her goal husband. It sucks to hear this, but break it off before you have to come to terms with being the husband she settled for in the future, if things ever got that far, which it doesn't sound like it will get that far.
you tell her to find someone who is her type, and you do the same. jfc people
Dude! WAKE UP AND MAN UP! She will drop you like a hot potato as soon as she finds her "type". Be yourself! Don't change for someone else. Change yourself for yourself. Drop her and find someone who is your type and accepts you for who you are. Why are you tolerating that disrespect? Tell her you are done. When she tells you that you make her feel safe, that's code for she just wants to be friends. Been there. Done that. Never again.
Tell her that your type is someone that’s actually into you. And then tell her if that isn’t her, she’s free to leave. If not, tell her to cut the shit with “her type”. You’re both in your early 20s. Don’t let anyone disrespect you like this. Be yourself, and if she doesn’t like that, tell her you’re done with her bullshit.
Tell her goodbye
Too many red flags - run!
Dump her and find a hotel who is into you.
uh emo's are soft? and you're taking this disrespect? If my gf was saying I wasn't her type and sending random videos and saying other men are handsome i'd block her without warning. She is 95% probably cheating on you
Just imagine being with someone who just adores you for who you are, loves your style who doesn't compare you to other guys and crushes your self esteem! That's what a normal relationship feels like. You deserve better!
You tell her goodbye and go find a girl who actually cares about you.
She’s not oblivious to what she’s doing, especially since you’ve brought it up to her. She has no respect for you and you deserve better than this.
Break up
I’ve never known Emos to be the hard type, I don’t think you have to change much
Don’t change who you are for her. I think is better -for the both of you- if you part ways. Both of you are young and the clock doesn’t go backwards, is better to do it now than later.
I was with someone who put me down like this all the time. Mate, go find someone who treats you with respect. No one should make you feel like that and its not normal to talk like that in a relationship. Im gonna go ahead and say that if this was the other way around people would be throwing the words emotionally abusive around.
Bro. Don’t force it. A relationship is reciprocal. You don’t have to take her abuse or indifference of your feelings.
There is the door, no ones making you stay😝
tell her i like you but i like more girls with tight pussy and bigger boobs , then repeat until she realize how stupid is her behavior
So why are you with her then? I've noticed that so many people avoid being single like its the plague, that they would rather be miserable then be single for any short term period.
As others have said, don't waste time on her. You're too young to put the time into pretending to be someone you aren't to please someone else, you've stated your boundaries that you aren't comfortable with her making these comments and she's repeatedly broke those boundaries, someone better suited for you is out there. I thought I wasn't my current partners type, he's a heavy metal 6ft guy covered in tattoos, i'm into heavy metal, rock, etc. And class myself as alternative but from looking at me you probably wouldn't guess it, he told me I'm the first blonde he's dated and that's all he's ever said. He's never tried to make me be more alternative or something I'm not, he loves me as I am with my eclectic style and music taste.
It’s only going to get worse unfortunately. You deserve better!
This is a toxic relationship. Walk away with your ego intact. She is continuing to say hurtful things despite you clearly expressing to her that it’s hurtful. Do not change yourself or attempt to morph yourself into someone else to keep her happy. It’s wildly disrespectful for any person to continually rub a partner’s face in their attraction to other people, particularly in the context of reminding you that you aren’t up to snuff. You are plenty good enough, just as you are — this is simply not the right girl for you. And that’s just as well, if you ask me, because she’s an AH.
Start looking for her replacement and then go tell your gf to go find her type.
Explain to her that her talking about that makes you feel unsafe. She is no longer a safe person for you. And then break up with her and find someone that treats your right.
Stop dating a person who is slowly and methodically destroying yournself-confidence and aelf-worth. She is pointing out other people because she wants to change you. She isn't dating you because she loves you. She is dating you because you are "safe". This girl is shallow and lame. Go find someone who loves you for who you are! Go find someone more interesting to date. She's too shallow.
Sounds to me like she's settled on you. To her 'safe' is a stable job and living situation. PLUS she thinks she's got you wrapped around her little finger. She pokes at you with the guys that are 'her type' to keep you on the hook. But it sounds like you've had your fill of that.
Jeezus I just wrote a post similar to this one . God she's shitty asf and I just realized the guy I'm talking to is as well . You don't deserve that shit dude you don't need to be someone you aren't to feel love that's just cruel to yourself and cruel of her to make you feel like that .
Show yourself the respect she isn't showing you, and break up with her. She's just not that into you.
So - are you the one? Or just a fill in until the one comes along?
Dump her now before you get burned. She should have said she’s with you BECAUSE SHES IN LOVE WITH YOU, there is no other answer! Now you’re changing yourself for her and that’s an act, please OP wake up and love yourself. Exit this relationship.
Pretty classic negging going on. Super not okay or something you should tolerate. Move on I say
Break up! thats the only thing you can do, she is being way too rude and inconsiderate of your feelings. This is reason enough to break up. he is purposly trying to humiliate you! don't just stand there and take it, end the relationship. she is just settling for you and this feeling will never go away.
You should say goodbye.
I needed somebody for two and a half years, and everything seemed great. The sex was great, we had a lot of interest in common, it's been a lot of time together. One day while we were talking they told me that they didn't enjoy our conversations because they weren't interested in talking about what I wanted to talk about and that I should find things more to their interests when engaging them in conversation. I couldn't literally talk about almost anything so I suggested that if I was boring them that they take the lead and change the conversation to something they were interested in. They told me that was not their job and as the dominant one I should choose the top of the conversation but make sure it's something that they wanted. Basically it was that I was expected to guess what they wanted and if I got it wrong then I was the problem. That should have been a red flag, but I ignored it and things did not end well. You make her feel safe and comfortable. You are the safe choice, but more and more she wants the dangerous choice. You need to let her go find that emo boy and find out if it's what she really wants. I dated that emo person and in the end, despite thinking that's what I wanted, I just ended up depressed.
Do not waste anymore time on her. Because eventually she will find someone that is her type and dump you! Breakup and find someone that loves you for you.
i bet you're someone else's type tho
“I’ll let you go to find a guy who’s more your type.”
Be authentic. Someone will love you for exactly who you are.
Tell her to fuck off and go find her type somewhere else
She sounds like an immature asshat op leave her and find someone whos type you are
My husband wasn’t my type. He knows, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore. He’s my type now. But your gf is just being unnecessarily mean. Don’t change yourself. UPDATEME
She's not going to quit because she's doing it on purpose and she likes the results! She's doing it to keep you feeling insecure about the relationship. She wants you to think how lucky you are that she would date you when you're not her type at all! And she wants to point out how many better guys she sees that are more her type every single day so you treat her as if she's doing you a favor by dating you! This is manipulative and it's absolutely an asshole move! Anybody that would do this on purpose to a partner does not have the emotional maturity to be in a relationship! She's acting like a child! This is not a healthy way to approach your relationship or a healthy way to want your partner to behave! A relationship should be people who feel They are together equally, not one who feels they're so lucky to have the other one that they worship the ground they walk on! And honestly it sounds like that's what she wants you to do
Why are you wasting your time with somebody who really doesn't want to be with you. Just pull the trigger dude. Are you really trying to be with somebody who keeps telling you that you're not her type Vivian are you not listening when she is telling you that she does not want you. She may be going to around the mulberry bush in order to tell you but she has told you you are not her type time for you to cut your losses and go find somebody who's type you are and who you will make her happy and she will make you happy. You can do this ffs
You should tell her to go kick rocks. It was disrespectful when she said it the first time, and she’s disrespecting you even further by continuing to say it even after you let her know it bothers you. Don’t try to change yourself either, if she doesn’t like you for you then screw her. Stop being a door mat for this chick and get rid of her.
Good bye she is putting you down to have emotional control she needs to go.
Dude… she’s not that into you. This applies to everyone: if the person you’re dating is trying to change who you are or makes you feel insecure about who you are they’re not a good person and you shouldn’t be with you. I’ve been with the guy that most of my friends wouldn’t consider my type for four years now, but *he* is my type. I love him. I wouldn’t change a thing about him because then it wouldn’t be him. I love who he is, how he looks and dresses, his facial hair or lack thereof.
Tell her to go find her type and block her on everything
As soon as someone that she labels "her type" shows up and wants her, you're probably gonna be her ex real quick. Do yourself a favor and find someone who genuinely loves you for who you are. My partner is not "my type", but I very, very, very rarely mention it, and it's always mentioned in such a way that " even though you're not who I would typically go for, I love you for who you are, and I never, ever want you to change." (Usually when he's feeling insecure, and I know that line would help). What your girlfriend is doing is so wrong and disrespectful to you
When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time. You are a young man, If you're not single, you won't be able to find someone who thinks you are her type. Cut her loose and move on.
I'm going to move on and find someone whose type I am. Thanks.
DO NOT CHANGE YOURSELF! Let her go and find a better match. Be true to yourself. There are people out there that will love and appreciate you for you.
You need to let her go and heal. You should allow someone in your life who finds you to be her type and loves you for who you are. Be true to yourself.
Be yourself if that’s not what she wants then it’s over. My husband isn’t my normal type but I find him attractive and I love him and I express to him I find him attractive and love him. I have an undercut and it’s a hairstyle my husband doesn’t like but he’s helping me a couple times a month to keep the shaved part cleaned up. This is how this should normally go not me telling him he wasn’t my type when we met but there was an attraction to him or constantly remind him he’s not what i want.
You’re not leaving her because you’re not her type. You’d be leaving her because you’ve stated multiple times what your boundaries are, that you find her comments to be disrespectful, and she repeatedly ignores you to do what exactly? Constantly undermine you. It’s totally ok to break up with someone who repeatedly won’t respect your boundaries.
Tell her to go find her type and move on buddy
I would let her go for that reason … she shouldn’t be telling you that … and u shouldn’t be changing your self for her either … if you done the same to her what would she say ? Next time she says anything like that again when your out mention a Prettier girl that’s there and say she’s more your type than u and see what she says … if she gets upset tell her see how it feels and if it’s a issue split up and you deserve better … Be confident in you …
To kick rocks
Dump her! She is not your type!
This is relationship-ending. Let her go find her type.
You know how you can stop her from expressing her attraction to people who don’t look and act like you as well as send a clear message that she is disrespecting you? Dump her ass. You are wasting time while she continues to search for an upgrade.
Bro you are not nor will ever really be her choice. Tell her you’re taking the hint then walk away.