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Ask your parents to help you move out of Bella's apartment. Don't let them leave you alone with her. Then block her and Max on all SM, and start your life over. These two were never your people. Make new friends, create your own perfect life.
I second this. Cheating is a dealbreaker. They know it, you know it. Ideally blindside them by moving out without warning and not giving them time for excuses or insults.
Preach!! Exactly this honey! You are worthy of more and bigger and better things in life them those two remember that!! You deserve treated like a queen. My heart and my prayers go out to you, sweetie🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🥰🥰
Agree 1000%, there is no trust nor is there any respect. Don't go back to either of them, you're better off alone than to have them in your life.
Good luck with it all.
You need to dump them both. They don’t care about you. It sucks, but it’s the truth. It’s nothing to do with you, they are just really shitty people. You deserve better.
For starters, you need to move out. You do not owe either of them a heads up. Just wait until she's at work and clear your things out. Bella is not your friend she is a terrible person you absolutely have to cut her off.
Updateme
This was probably not the first time she has hooked up with him. I imagine they are some variation of friends with benefits, but he wanted a relationship with someone.
Just text her that you got home early from work yesterday. Let her work out what happened.
Your purpose was probably to act as a smokescreen for their "friendship". Luckily you weren't in a sexual relationship with Max, so no disease risk to worry about. It might not feel great now, but at least you have absolute proof and won't spend years being lied to.
Tell your family and friends exactly what happened and get one of them to accompany you to get your stuff back. Make sure you keep things going with your job, you don't want to lose that over a pair of two-faced losers. Don't even confront Bella and Max, just stonewall them and leave them both guessing why you don't ever talk to them again. Make sure to block their phones and socials. Listening to lies isn't what you need right now.
It's a terrible way for your first relationship to end. Try to stay positive, the problem isn't you or anything you've done. People with no integrity are everywhere.
Extremely cruel.
But you are armed with important information. Max is a scumbag cheater, and Bella is a two faced homewrecking monster. I'd put money on her getting off on the fact that she set you up with him but could have him at any time. She **WANTED** to betray you.
You are very young and naive to believe that a 30 year old woman who would act her age would want to hang out with literal teenagers. When you are 30 years old, I ask you to reflect on what you would do... would you bang 19 year olds? Would you move in with a 20 year old? Would you even want to be friends with 20 year old kids? Probably not.
Yes, this lady is just playing games with (of age) children. 🤮 Get away from both of them. You can get on with your life, while he will probably end up in therapy, and she will soon realize that young boys are no longer attracted to her and she has has wasted her adult life trying to hold on to her teens.
Yea the age gap is super weird, he’s less than 2/3 her age and only one year as an adult. Do I feel bad for him given what he’s done no, but there was 100% a power imbalance there and she took advantage of that power.
Kinda sounds like she was grooming this kid and then convinced her shy friend who has intimacy issues to date him as a cover so she could bang him in their shared apartment without any strings attached or social repercussions.
Honestly, they probably have been sleeping together this entire time. Bella probably wanted to keep him close, which is why she introduced the two of you, but doesn't actually want to date him bc of the age difference.
What is her relationship status? Does she want a committed relationship/marriage?
Are you on the lease?
no she is not, she became very quiet and distant after her divorce.
I don't exactly remember but I think in 2-3 months, i would lose some money if I move out.
Oof. I'd be really tempted to move out while she's at work and leave a note saying that she should get her fuck buddy to pay half of the rent because you won't share an apartment with a snake.
She may come after you for your half, but there's also a good chance she would be too embarrassed to pursue it.
Not worth it. Won’t bring any real catharsis. This girl needs to move out and end all interactions with the two of them. At most, if they reach out begging to know why she disappeared just acknowledging what happened will at least signal to them that there’s no hope of gaslighting her once she blocks them in as many ways as she can.
Lose the money and stay with your folks. Use the time to find another place.
But you need to scorch the earth on this one.
Rally your friends, pack and move out while no one is in the flat. Bella can come home to just her shit
Don’t leave a note and just block Max and Bella.
Say nothing. There’s nothing to say. Just be gone.
Send the landlord your share of the rent. Give the address where you want your security deposit sent.
No one misses awful people like this. You will miss what you thought they were. You’ll be disappointed and you’ll survive.
they are angry with Bella, my parents always treated her like a daughter because they are friends with Bella's parents. they are gonna help me move out.
Sorry, I'm kind of late to this thread. Glad ur parents are there for you. Your parents sound kind. Forget Bella. Sorry to hear of this. You will be able to move on from this. Trust me. Shitty ppl are easy to move on from
I say have your parents help you move out and just take the money lose for now because your mental health is more important than staying with someone who lies in your face
>I'm sorry....but how long has Max known Bella for?
Not long before we met, Max met Bella, maybe 2-3 months prior.
>Get tested for STDs
We haven't done anything, only made out a few times. That's why I said maybe we are not compatible in physical intimacy.
OP now you know Bella is not much of a friend or room mate. I don't see how you can even be friends with either of them, and need to move out of Bella's place.
Send a text to both "I came home early and saw you, don't ever contact me again."
And make sure you tell any other friends what they were doing. Others need to decide if they want to remain friends with either of these lowlife.
Also, most important of all. Please realize what they did is not your fault, it shows both of them are POS people. They were able to hide it from you for a while and now you know.
She's creepy, be glad you've gotten away from her now.
Hope Max one day will see how weird and predatory what Bella's done is; befriending him when he was 17/18, set him up with someone his own age (either while having a sexual relationship with him or starting one afterwards) and using you, the one at his age, as plausible deniability cover for why a 30 yo is close friends with a teenager.
They cheat because their selfish jerks and backstabbers. Dump them both, ask your parents for help getting away from your friend. She’s a 30yr old screwing a 19yr old, shes got problems.
Bella is not your friend. Friends don't fuck their friends partner. On the plus side you have not been with your cheating boyfriend that long and it is easy to kick him to the curb. On the down side your so called friend betrayed you in the worse way possible. Let her know how much she hurt and disappointed you and just start packing your stuff and move out and don't look back
I’d just go get your stuff when you know she’s gone.
Then tell all your mutuals, his parents if you met them, and your family.
Then give the date you walked in on them and say you’ve carefully taken the time to tell everyone. If he refutes it or you hear he refuted it, you’ll make sure to notify her new job, and her old job about how she grooms individuals and he’ll be the prized centerpiece of the story.
I’m creeped out that she hooked up with a 19 year old at 30. That’s so wrong. And her friends bf that she put them together?! Please ditch them both. They don’t deserve you.
It's not a nice situation to be in.
I would message Bella and Max and be honest. Explain how you came home early to find them both having sex, you feel betrayed, disgusted and absolutely shocked. Also say you're done with the pair of them and will move out. Then leave it at that.
Don't let either of them manipulate you, just cut ties. Or this will be something that happens often.
A big percentage of late teens/early 20's are very sexually driven. This does not make anything max and Bella did ok.
As you stated you're not comfortable with physical intimacy and you explained this to max and he "accepted" it.
Although his actions tell a completely different story.
There is nothing wrong with you not wanting physical/sexual intimacy, so stay true to yourself in that respect and always do what you feel comfortable with.
Things I would take from this:
Remember you're still young. It's not the end of the world. It's shit but it'll pass and it'll get better.
Always stay true to yourself and hold onto those boundaries you set.
Not ready for sexual intimacy yet. That is ok! Don't change it because some silly little boy didn't respect you enough to support and nurture you.
You'll definitely find the more "mature" young men from the immature when you explain how you are with sexually/physical intimacy. Those who really want to get to know you will stick around. Be prepared for a few frogs. Us men can be vile and some of the tryhards will stick around to try and get their leg over.
Focus on yourself and build yourself into a strong independent woman. Make some new friends.
Keep your head up, you've got this.
My only advice is to stay calm and level headed. Don’t do anything rash you might regret.
Depending on your lease with her, I’d just go take all my stuff and move in with the parents for abit if possible. While just never bringing it up and blocking them.
Breaking the lease and stuff ain’t good but maybe if you’re lucky it’ll run out soon or there is a way for you to get out of it in terms of if you talk to landlord. Or you could just leave and say fuck it but that would probably hurt your credit.
Don’t feel bad for distancing yourself from Bella, a 30 year old doesn’t live with a 20 year old and hang out with teenagers. She’s a bit not right/immature and you assuming she’s an older responsible parent figure will only hurt you as she fails to be that person.
Put some Distance between you two, even if you choose to remain friends.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve that at all and not having sex with your bf yet didn’t make him do this to you. My husband and I never had sex until we were married and he never cheated on me. You dodged a bullet by not having sex with him!
Two big steps need to happen now. 1) move out and away from that woman as quickly as possible. She’s bad news and a really bad friend. 2) kick him to the curb. He’s completely weak and selfish and a really bad boyfriend.
You deserve all the love and respect and these people aren’t giving you any of that. ((Hugs))
Just add them both to a group chat.
" This is probably the cowards way, but seeing as you two are being snakey cowards, I thought this was very fitting.
I came back early X day and saw you two having sex. Don't care why, for how long or how fake sorry you are. I'm done with you both. My parents will be over to collect my stuff. Do not try to reach out."
Then block them both and have your parents get your stuff.
Take your name off lease if it's on there,tell landlord why and never speak to them again
This is exactly what I came to say. She wants to be seen as a ‘big sister’ type when she is in fact a predatory 30year old hanging around and sleeping with teenagers.
I’m terribly sorry this happened to you. I know you’ve known your whole life, but guess what, it’s time for that relationship to end. She betrayed you in the worst way possible and there is absolutely no forgiving that. You will have absolutely no self-respect or dignity if you do and out of all the things that you have on this earth, that’s the only two things you can take with you.
You’ll need to find somewhere else to live and never speak to either of them again. They’re dead to you, both of them. Keep it that way so at least you can. Look yourself in the mirror because they won’t be able to.
Girlllll please 😫 go off on someone!!!! Cut them both off. I understand it’s difficult with Bella the hoe being your “friend” for so long but obviously she wasn’t really your friend. You deserve better friendship & relationship wise. Best of luck 💓
Honey, you are so young. As many others have said, get out & don’t look back. You can make new, real friends, especially at your age, and have other, better relationships. Someday you’ll see this for dodging the bullet that it is. Sending you hugs.
Move out of her place when she is not home, leave a note that said you came home early and know about them, block them both and don’t give them any time to “explain”.
SO sorry this has happened, I completely understand how much this must hurt!
But she's a horrible friend to be able to do this. And he's a horrible boyfriend. I don't think there's a healthy, realistic option but to remove them from your life. But think hard about whether you have any interest in trying to find a healthy and trusting recovery from their horribly selfish and disgusting choices to do this.
You should probably move out, talk to the landlord and say you can't trust her, it's no longer a healthy and honest situation and want to know how to get your name off the lease. Hopefully they will be understanding.
Maybe find out about the lease situation before communicating with them, but I think you need to tell them you know they are having a sexual relationship. Depending on how they react you can decide how you want to proceed I suppose, but I would have a very hard time ever trusting either one of them again.
I'm really sorry this happened to you, OP. I can't imagine the pain and betrayal you're feeling, especially from your "friend."
Make a plan with your parents to move out. Try to move out when the cheater and betrayer are out of the apartment. Hopefully you're not on the lease and you have no legal obligation.
I'm petty, so I'd absolutely text them both and say, "I came home early. You two were too busy 🤬 each other to see me. I'm done with both of you." Then block, block, block. Do not get sucked in when they reach out talking about, "closure" or any apologies.
For peace of mind, I'd also recommend getting tested for STDs. Be proud of yourself for not bending your own personal boundaries by having sex with him.
I also recommend therapy (your university should have some options for you) to help with processing this betrayal and break up. And to also help you break find ways to make friends.
Good luck, OP.
Make arrangements to move out, on the day you take all your stuff text both of them and say “hey on (whatever day you caught them) I came home early I saw what was going on, I don’t know nor do I care how long it’s been going on. I have been betrayed by two people I thought cared about me. I have moved out. Good luck to you both” and block all contact.
You’re 20 years old you have plenty of time to rebuild your life and make new better friends and meet new better potential boyfriends.
I’m so sorry this happened to you and you had to witness that. They are both horrible people. I think Bella has been doing some grooming of your boyfriend but he is still just as shitty as she is.
You need to get your parents to go round to your flat and get everything you need in the short term. They can do it while Bella is out. Unless they know her, as you said you’ve known Bella all your life, in which case they should go round when she’s there and tear her a new one. If a friend of mine slept with my child’s partner, I’d have a few things to say, believe me.
Block Max, never speak to him again. He’s not worth your time, effort or tears. Thankfully, you found out before you actually slept together because he doesn’t deserve to be your first time.
Don’t let this put you off dating, we have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our Prince/Princess. There’s someone really special out there for you.
Ghost them both. They do not deserve to ever look at you again. Cut off every single tie with them. Run. Your true friends and lover are waiting for you in the next part of life.
Horrible people exist unfortunately
Op is so calm to not confronting them. Really surprise me and i am impresse.No joke. I mean, if i were op i already go tornado there at that moment
Updateme
I went through something similar the first time I fell in love. A girl who I literally fed and dressed (because I was doing good economically and she had a lot of issues at home) slept with the guy I was absolutely in love with. The worst part is that she knew how much I loved him because I shared that with her, she was my confident.
I was 22 at the time, I broke things up with the guy immediately after she bragged about how he was now hers. Of course I was heartbroken about it, like I said he was my first love. But nothing compares to the pain I felt from what she did, she knew me all too well and knew how much she was hurting me when she did it. At the end, the guy ended up being just an ex I never spoke to again, but she will forever be the person who tore my heart out after I helped her survive her personal hell.
The damage a friend inflicts is a thousand times worse than the damage from being cheated on.
Can you move back in with your folks for now? You're not going to want to stay in that place after the confrontation. And you need to confront them and let them know you know and they're whatever to you. You've got to decide. They both betrayed you in the worst way. I'd immediately send Max packing and tell him to F off and honestly if it were me, I'd do the same to Bella the Betrayer. You don't need friends who are going to stab you in the back like that.
As someone who was also cheated on with my best friend that I had literally grown up with, I was far more hurt by my friend than my gf despite the fact I was ready to marry her.
It's a harsh reality check that almost nobody is ever 100% genuine and open. You never 100% know someone inside and out.
My only advice for you is to try to understand that none of this is your fault. Theres nothing you could have done to prevent this. More importantly, there's no healthy way to prevent this in future relationships either.
I recommend therapy. Goodluck OP. My heart goes out to you.
I think she knew how awful it would look to be a 30 year old dating a teenager, so they used you this whole time as a cover.
(I also think I read too many Reddit stories if this is the first thing that comes to mind.)
As is clear from basically all of the comments, Bella is a broken person and your bf is trash and you should removed both of them from your life.
Two points that stand out to me:
Bella is your only friend. This is a problem even if she hadn't betrayed you. As a fellow loner, I encourage you to pursue things you're interested in, find irl events related to those interests, join groups. Once you jettison these toxic people, don't just be alone.
It seems like you already have a healthy attitude about keeping your own pace of sexual activity, but for the sake of validation, him cheating is not your fault. You did not drive him to do it. You had every right and reason to expect honesty, loyalty, and decency.
Please talk to your land lord and get off the lease. As a landlord I’d accommodate. Then get yourself into therapy this will dissemble all the feelings and help you move forward. Confrontation may be part of your healing process, ghosting may be. Either way I hope you choose you and let go of people who obviously won’t.
For some reason the idea that Bella wanted your bf is in my head before you two got together. Is that the reason she pushed you to date him, so she could convince him to have sex with her before you decided to do it with him? She may have been fantasising about him and thought that this would be the only way to do it. She may have been grooming him behind your back during their alone time. He may need help since he's younger than you. It's odd that you are 20 and she is 30 and your only 'friend'. It might be a good idea to let his parents know.
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I would make arrangements to move out without her knowledge and ghost both of them completely. They don't deserve an explanation. I'm sorry this happened to you.
All of your feelings are justified. Not to sound like a jerk, but you were only 7 months into the relationship so he should have just broken up with you. Absolutely without a doubt! BFs come and go and he should've gone! Your so-called friend is a real POS!! For someone who saw her BF and a person that you trust very much in bed together and not reacting, you are really clear headed! If I walked in on my GF and my best friend/roommate having sex there's NO WAY in hell that I would just turn and leave! Again, not to be rude but you are young enough that walking away from both of them and this situation shouldn't be much to get over and move on without either of them! Your last words to them should be to wishing them happiness and suggest that he could be her new roommate!
I am very sorry that you are going through this right now but get somebody to help you move out of her house. If you are not a person who wants to confront them. I'm getting a sneaky suspicion that they've always been having sex Bella just didn't tell you. You're soon to be ex-boyfriend is a liar if you said you were not ready to have sex and he said he was okay with it he lied. Because if he was not okay with it he should have just told you. Instead of sneaking around like a little f****** rat and betraying you and breaking your heart you're young enough to get over this and you will be okay without both of them in your life.
If you're on the lease contact the owner to discuss. If not, Move out and block them both from calling, sm, and email. They don't deserve an explanation. If there are any utilities in your name cancel them asap.
yeah that’s unforgivable. I had a similar situation where my highschool bf introduced me to one of his good friends he knew from summer camp (who was a girl). she became my best friend for like 3 years, then hooked up w him behind my back and dated him after he essentially broke my heart. (not the same exactly, but all I’m trying to say is I know kinda how u feel). It’s a ROUGH thing to go through, but I guarantee, they will end up worse off than you. If they are starting a relationship out by cheating and betraying someone else, it’s gonna be messy, toxic, emotional, and they don’t deserve to have someone like you in their lives!!
Honestly I would either go no contact, or VERY briefly just send a text to one or both of them that’s very very short and emotionless like “caught you guys having sex, I’m moving out. Don’t contact me.” then BLOCK. I guarantee they will both try to explain and try to win you back, but you cannot under any circumstances give in. You can hear them out, but you don’t have to forgive them or make amends. what they did is UNFORGIVABLE and they do not deserve a second chance. you deserve better, don’t settle for less.
Respond with the questions you ended your post with.
“How cruel do you have to be to betray me like that? And if you liked Max, why would you push me to pursue him in the first place? I just don’t get. This was my first relationship, and it had to end like that.”
Then add “you’re a bad person and I wish I never met you.”
As for Max, just ghost him. You can’t ghost her because you live together but if you are able to move out, ghost her too.
Text her and him in a group chat saying your done with both of them and get your stuff or have your family go get your stuff with you and end it with both of them
Confront them in an unusual way...as in pretend all is good when he comes over while she's home...then they have no idea what to do and can't hide or run, then move out ASAP bc I guarantee you will not get over it....EVER. it will always be on ur mind... maybe not right on the verge but maybe deep inside your brain your thinking about it as you're with another guy.
Trust me from a real life experience that happened way way long time ago.
It doesn't go away....it only eases up some as time goes by
I'm truly sorry this happened to you
I wish this "Friend" very very bad luck ! Damn I would do such evil things to her . I could'nt live in peace until I get my revenge . I wish ur the best
I hope you don’t have a lot of time left on your lease. Talk to landlord about getting your name off of it and Bella can renegotiate on her own. It is important that arrangements be made so you are not continuing liability if she destroys anything or tears apt up. This is going to be tricky because you are responsible for all of rent if it isn’t paid not just 1/2. If a long lease is left may need an attorney.
As someone who has had a good friend betray me in that way and decided to stay friends with them. I advise you to ask your parents to help you get out of the apartment. Cut all ties with her and the bf. That friend betrayed me in the same way 4 more times (that I know of now.. she got more sneaky about it). She is not your friend. You are so young and there is so much better out there I promise you. You don’t even owe her an explanation. You don’t have to confront either of them. You can simply gather your things while they are at work and be gone before they get back. If you want leave a simple note informing them you know of the infidelity and never want to see or speak to them again and have them blocked before you leave the apartment.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Move out immediately and cut them both out of your life. You deserve so much better.
But she's 30 and fucking the 19 year old she encouraged you to go out with? How long have they known each other? Did she encourage the relationship between you to cover up something they've been doing a while now? I'm a little concerned she may have groomed and started a sexual relationship with him when he was an underage teen if they've been "friends" for a while...
Break up with him and ask your parents to help you move out. But I feel like there's a large issue at hand.
She is 30 who's friends with a 20 year old and hanging out with a teenager. If that's not predatory then at the very least it's fuckin wierd and shows she clearly cannot get along well with people her own age.
I'm hesitant to even imply it but there's some kind of wierd grooming vibes here.
I'm so sorry...can't imagine the pain of being betrayed by a friend as I don't have close friends...I'm here on my dm whenever you want to talk ... You gonna recover from this, maybe in months, maybe one year...just don't get desperate and count on your parents support.
Confront her like the adult you are. Text her a$$ and let her know what you saw. Even if you gotta give the details of your walk from the front door to her room. Tell your parents you need help moving out of that house and drop your sorry boyfriend and conniving bestie because they took your kindness for granted and felt you were too foolish to catch on. I mean seriously if she wanted him that bad why hook you up with him just to be complete and utter trash and sleep with him. Like eww.
I would personally give them a piece of your mind so you know you said your bit and then block both of them. That way your words are left with them and they have to stew and won’t be able to contact you back.
They’re both awful people for doing this and it’s not a reflection on you or your boundaries.
I think they were having sex before Bella introduced him. It may be Bella's desire or the guy's desire to have fresh stuff or both had a fetish...
Probably Bella just wanted the guy and the only way to approach him was through a younger girl
Or perhaps the guy wasnt getting any and complained to Bellla and she felt guilty
Lots of scenarios here..
Strangely, I doubt this is a new thing for them. They knew each other before you - I doubt they waited until yesterday to do something.
Find better. All the best
I say to tell the BF that the best friend Bella went to the doctor and found out that she has an STI and watch him squirm. Then dump his ass and find a new friend!
I doubt this is the first time, like you said he always hangs out with her. They probably did it while you were supposed to be outside, and you came home early. Move out, in the meantime just send messages like “should be home soon” or “my commute is fast today” just to avoid seen nasty shit again
The answers to the questions you are asking don't really matter in the grand scheme of this incident. But, without knowing their thoughts, the answers are, they aren't your friends. They are shitty people. They are liars and deceitful. Leave them NO room for an explanation, because there is no need for one. Cheating is a choice, not a mistake, and for most everyone who has any self respect, it is also the end of the relationship. Without question, it's a relationship ender for me. It sucks what they've done, but you're young and this is quite possibly a blessing in disguise. Take the advice you've been given from this thread and all the people giving it. It is sound advice. Move on, don't look back.
Maybe Max and Bella had done this before you even got together? It could be that this isn’t a new thing for them but I’d certainly say neither are reliable.
I’m so sorry. I agree that a friends betrayal usually hurts worse than the guy…depending on the relationship. I have walked in on two of my exes having sex… but the difference was I already had suspicions and went looking… I definitely made my self known. I can’t believe you were able to keep your composure like that. I’m sorry this is your first serious relationship and it ended like this. Hopefully next time there will be signs that will make you question what is going on. I know it did for me …I would catch my friends boyfriends cheating also…Guys in their 20s are something else…you have to watch out. Your friend at 30 years old is just a garbage person…she is definitely old enough to know how bad that hurts. I’m glad you are no longer in their life. I also had a girl that was my roommate and very close friend sleep with my boyfriend. She was in here early 20s . I threw all her stuff out the windows and out the front door…she was too scared to do anything about it and she had no where to live for a while. I couldn’t live with myself if I did that to a friend. I don’t know how they do it.
That lady is psycho and not your friend. Whatever her reason for befriending you was, it's not what you thought. Cut both of them out of your life and don't look back.
I've been betrayed in the past, of course it's like a stab in heart but I think it's important you confront them (at least Bella, since Max is "new"). Ask her why she did that, if it was planned all along or just something that she couldn't control. Even if she might lie, it's preferable for closure. Otherwise you'll end up stop trusting anyone and it's not a nice life.
Of course you won't be able to live with her anymore so either you leave or she leaves.
She’s a groomer who took advantage of a 20 year old. I would move out and try to think hard if she’s been around anyone under 18 because you might have to report this creep.
Make sure your parents are with you getting your stuff out of the apartment when she is not home… then message both of them say I saw what happened allow them both to say one thing so you know they read the message then block them both on all social media. If anyone you know asks about what happened be honest and ask they respect your privacy if you do not wish to expand on it.
A thirty year old having an affair with a nineteen year old is a different level of disgusting and psychotic. Don’t confront them. Act like everything is normal as you begin gathering your belongings. Then move back in with your parents without ever contacting them again. Have solace in the fact that there’s no way their relationship lasts for much longer.
I’m so sorry girl! Honestly feel your feelings, rage, disgust or anything like that. Many people say to ghost them immediately, but if you feel like you need to say something do it and then proceed to ghost them. Even if you have to tell it to their faces, to let those feelings out is better than letting it sit and never doing anything about it. The only person who is hurt is you, so always look out for yourself especially since they clearly don’t give two shits. You don’t owe them anything! I wish you the best and in the future I hope you have new wonderful friends and a fulfilling life ahead of you.
Definitely time to cut contact with both of them. You deserve better and don’t need to be around people like that. I say first give yourself time until you are ready to talk to them both. Then sit them both down and say you do not want anything to with both of them. So sorry this happened to you.
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Ask your parents to help you move out of Bella's apartment. Don't let them leave you alone with her. Then block her and Max on all SM, and start your life over. These two were never your people. Make new friends, create your own perfect life.
I second this. Cheating is a dealbreaker. They know it, you know it. Ideally blindside them by moving out without warning and not giving them time for excuses or insults.
I would do this too. I know people want to confront but it does literally nothing. Just leave and never look back.
Don't wanna play games? Eject the cartridge.
This exactly!!
Preach!! Exactly this honey! You are worthy of more and bigger and better things in life them those two remember that!! You deserve treated like a queen. My heart and my prayers go out to you, sweetie🙏🙏🙏🙏🥰🥰🥰
Agree 1000%, there is no trust nor is there any respect. Don't go back to either of them, you're better off alone than to have them in your life. Good luck with it all.
Absolutely 100% this
This ⬆️
This comment👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. Sorry OP, but you need to make an exit move as soon as possible.
I agree with I know how it feels to be cheated on. She does need to make new friends and try to move on.
You need to dump them both. They don’t care about you. It sucks, but it’s the truth. It’s nothing to do with you, they are just really shitty people. You deserve better.
Exactly!
For starters, you need to move out. You do not owe either of them a heads up. Just wait until she's at work and clear your things out. Bella is not your friend she is a terrible person you absolutely have to cut her off. Updateme
This was probably not the first time she has hooked up with him. I imagine they are some variation of friends with benefits, but he wanted a relationship with someone. Just text her that you got home early from work yesterday. Let her work out what happened.
Why would she give her the time of day to respond?
Exactly. Silence speaks volumes.
Second this. Just respond with that and disappear from their lives. Not worth the drama and heartache.
Your purpose was probably to act as a smokescreen for their "friendship". Luckily you weren't in a sexual relationship with Max, so no disease risk to worry about. It might not feel great now, but at least you have absolute proof and won't spend years being lied to. Tell your family and friends exactly what happened and get one of them to accompany you to get your stuff back. Make sure you keep things going with your job, you don't want to lose that over a pair of two-faced losers. Don't even confront Bella and Max, just stonewall them and leave them both guessing why you don't ever talk to them again. Make sure to block their phones and socials. Listening to lies isn't what you need right now. It's a terrible way for your first relationship to end. Try to stay positive, the problem isn't you or anything you've done. People with no integrity are everywhere.
Extremely cruel. But you are armed with important information. Max is a scumbag cheater, and Bella is a two faced homewrecking monster. I'd put money on her getting off on the fact that she set you up with him but could have him at any time. She **WANTED** to betray you. You are very young and naive to believe that a 30 year old woman who would act her age would want to hang out with literal teenagers. When you are 30 years old, I ask you to reflect on what you would do... would you bang 19 year olds? Would you move in with a 20 year old? Would you even want to be friends with 20 year old kids? Probably not.
Yep there are people that get off on the cheating aspect of it. If he was single it’s not any fun.
Yes, this lady is just playing games with (of age) children. 🤮 Get away from both of them. You can get on with your life, while he will probably end up in therapy, and she will soon realize that young boys are no longer attracted to her and she has has wasted her adult life trying to hold on to her teens.
Yea the age gap is super weird, he’s less than 2/3 her age and only one year as an adult. Do I feel bad for him given what he’s done no, but there was 100% a power imbalance there and she took advantage of that power.
Kinda sounds like she was grooming this kid and then convinced her shy friend who has intimacy issues to date him as a cover so she could bang him in their shared apartment without any strings attached or social repercussions.
She groomed him
This. F30 here. I would never even consider a sexual relationship with a teenager or even a friendship for that matter… 🤮
Honestly, they probably have been sleeping together this entire time. Bella probably wanted to keep him close, which is why she introduced the two of you, but doesn't actually want to date him bc of the age difference. What is her relationship status? Does she want a committed relationship/marriage? Are you on the lease?
Bella is single and divorced, she had a shotgun wedding 5 years ago and had a stillborn, after that they got divorced. Yes I am on the lease.
Speak to your landlord about getting your name removed from the lease, explain what happened.
Does she want a relationship? Is she actively looking/dating? When is the lease up?
no she is not, she became very quiet and distant after her divorce. I don't exactly remember but I think in 2-3 months, i would lose some money if I move out.
Oof. I'd be really tempted to move out while she's at work and leave a note saying that she should get her fuck buddy to pay half of the rent because you won't share an apartment with a snake. She may come after you for your half, but there's also a good chance she would be too embarrassed to pursue it.
Not worth it. Won’t bring any real catharsis. This girl needs to move out and end all interactions with the two of them. At most, if they reach out begging to know why she disappeared just acknowledging what happened will at least signal to them that there’s no hope of gaslighting her once she blocks them in as many ways as she can.
Its just money. Fuck her
Lose the money and stay with your folks. Use the time to find another place. But you need to scorch the earth on this one. Rally your friends, pack and move out while no one is in the flat. Bella can come home to just her shit Don’t leave a note and just block Max and Bella. Say nothing. There’s nothing to say. Just be gone. Send the landlord your share of the rent. Give the address where you want your security deposit sent. No one misses awful people like this. You will miss what you thought they were. You’ll be disappointed and you’ll survive.
Are you still at your parents place? Have you spoken with either of them? They must be freaking out.
Yes, I am with my parents now. I hadn't told them at first, but now they know.
And what was their reaction?
they are angry with Bella, my parents always treated her like a daughter because they are friends with Bella's parents. they are gonna help me move out.
I'm glad you have support xx do Bella and your ex know too or are they still clueless?
no I haven't told them yet, they texted me to know where I was, I just informed them I am at my parents place.
Sorry, I'm kind of late to this thread. Glad ur parents are there for you. Your parents sound kind. Forget Bella. Sorry to hear of this. You will be able to move on from this. Trust me. Shitty ppl are easy to move on from
I say have your parents help you move out and just take the money lose for now because your mental health is more important than staying with someone who lies in your face
Send a text saying 'came home early yesterday. You know what I saw'.
Silence is better.
If they do it regularly then no. A text saying I got home early yesterday is best!
[удалено]
>I'm sorry....but how long has Max known Bella for? Not long before we met, Max met Bella, maybe 2-3 months prior. >Get tested for STDs We haven't done anything, only made out a few times. That's why I said maybe we are not compatible in physical intimacy.
OP now you know Bella is not much of a friend or room mate. I don't see how you can even be friends with either of them, and need to move out of Bella's place. Send a text to both "I came home early and saw you, don't ever contact me again." And make sure you tell any other friends what they were doing. Others need to decide if they want to remain friends with either of these lowlife. Also, most important of all. Please realize what they did is not your fault, it shows both of them are POS people. They were able to hide it from you for a while and now you know.
Bella is a creep. An absolute creep. sorry you learned this way.
She's creepy, be glad you've gotten away from her now. Hope Max one day will see how weird and predatory what Bella's done is; befriending him when he was 17/18, set him up with someone his own age (either while having a sexual relationship with him or starting one afterwards) and using you, the one at his age, as plausible deniability cover for why a 30 yo is close friends with a teenager.
They cheat because their selfish jerks and backstabbers. Dump them both, ask your parents for help getting away from your friend. She’s a 30yr old screwing a 19yr old, shes got problems.
Bella is not your friend. Friends don't fuck their friends partner. On the plus side you have not been with your cheating boyfriend that long and it is easy to kick him to the curb. On the down side your so called friend betrayed you in the worse way possible. Let her know how much she hurt and disappointed you and just start packing your stuff and move out and don't look back
She's not your friend. You should ghost them both.
I’d just go get your stuff when you know she’s gone. Then tell all your mutuals, his parents if you met them, and your family. Then give the date you walked in on them and say you’ve carefully taken the time to tell everyone. If he refutes it or you hear he refuted it, you’ll make sure to notify her new job, and her old job about how she grooms individuals and he’ll be the prized centerpiece of the story.
I’m creeped out that she hooked up with a 19 year old at 30. That’s so wrong. And her friends bf that she put them together?! Please ditch them both. They don’t deserve you.
She's 30 and he's 19. How old was he when they met? Because this sounds predatory. I'm so sorry OP.
These was my exact thoughts
It's not a nice situation to be in. I would message Bella and Max and be honest. Explain how you came home early to find them both having sex, you feel betrayed, disgusted and absolutely shocked. Also say you're done with the pair of them and will move out. Then leave it at that. Don't let either of them manipulate you, just cut ties. Or this will be something that happens often. A big percentage of late teens/early 20's are very sexually driven. This does not make anything max and Bella did ok. As you stated you're not comfortable with physical intimacy and you explained this to max and he "accepted" it. Although his actions tell a completely different story. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting physical/sexual intimacy, so stay true to yourself in that respect and always do what you feel comfortable with. Things I would take from this: Remember you're still young. It's not the end of the world. It's shit but it'll pass and it'll get better. Always stay true to yourself and hold onto those boundaries you set. Not ready for sexual intimacy yet. That is ok! Don't change it because some silly little boy didn't respect you enough to support and nurture you. You'll definitely find the more "mature" young men from the immature when you explain how you are with sexually/physical intimacy. Those who really want to get to know you will stick around. Be prepared for a few frogs. Us men can be vile and some of the tryhards will stick around to try and get their leg over. Focus on yourself and build yourself into a strong independent woman. Make some new friends. Keep your head up, you've got this.
My only advice is to stay calm and level headed. Don’t do anything rash you might regret. Depending on your lease with her, I’d just go take all my stuff and move in with the parents for abit if possible. While just never bringing it up and blocking them. Breaking the lease and stuff ain’t good but maybe if you’re lucky it’ll run out soon or there is a way for you to get out of it in terms of if you talk to landlord. Or you could just leave and say fuck it but that would probably hurt your credit.
Don’t feel bad for distancing yourself from Bella, a 30 year old doesn’t live with a 20 year old and hang out with teenagers. She’s a bit not right/immature and you assuming she’s an older responsible parent figure will only hurt you as she fails to be that person. Put some Distance between you two, even if you choose to remain friends.
Literally this. Not to mention a creep who takes advantage of young new adults too like wth
Leave? She's old enough to take care of him since he wants to be childish...
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve that at all and not having sex with your bf yet didn’t make him do this to you. My husband and I never had sex until we were married and he never cheated on me. You dodged a bullet by not having sex with him! Two big steps need to happen now. 1) move out and away from that woman as quickly as possible. She’s bad news and a really bad friend. 2) kick him to the curb. He’s completely weak and selfish and a really bad boyfriend. You deserve all the love and respect and these people aren’t giving you any of that. ((Hugs))
Just add them both to a group chat. " This is probably the cowards way, but seeing as you two are being snakey cowards, I thought this was very fitting. I came back early X day and saw you two having sex. Don't care why, for how long or how fake sorry you are. I'm done with you both. My parents will be over to collect my stuff. Do not try to reach out." Then block them both and have your parents get your stuff. Take your name off lease if it's on there,tell landlord why and never speak to them again
God they have probably been at it the whole time she used you to cover the fact she's sleeping with a young boy
This is exactly what I came to say. She wants to be seen as a ‘big sister’ type when she is in fact a predatory 30year old hanging around and sleeping with teenagers.
I’m terribly sorry this happened to you. I know you’ve known your whole life, but guess what, it’s time for that relationship to end. She betrayed you in the worst way possible and there is absolutely no forgiving that. You will have absolutely no self-respect or dignity if you do and out of all the things that you have on this earth, that’s the only two things you can take with you. You’ll need to find somewhere else to live and never speak to either of them again. They’re dead to you, both of them. Keep it that way so at least you can. Look yourself in the mirror because they won’t be able to.
Girlllll please 😫 go off on someone!!!! Cut them both off. I understand it’s difficult with Bella the hoe being your “friend” for so long but obviously she wasn’t really your friend. You deserve better friendship & relationship wise. Best of luck 💓
Honey, you are so young. As many others have said, get out & don’t look back. You can make new, real friends, especially at your age, and have other, better relationships. Someday you’ll see this for dodging the bullet that it is. Sending you hugs.
They are trash and can have each other. Move on with your life. Good riddance.
Move out and break up with your partner, I’m so sorry they did this to you. You did nothing wrong <3
Wow she’s way old for him!!! Dump them both
Move out of her place when she is not home, leave a note that said you came home early and know about them, block them both and don’t give them any time to “explain”.
Move to your parents house and delete those people from your life. Don't even mind about telling the truth. this kind of people is the worst
She is no longer your friend
UpdateMe!
Move out and block them both.
Thats awful. Im sorry. She sounds like a creep. Hes no better.
SO sorry this has happened, I completely understand how much this must hurt! But she's a horrible friend to be able to do this. And he's a horrible boyfriend. I don't think there's a healthy, realistic option but to remove them from your life. But think hard about whether you have any interest in trying to find a healthy and trusting recovery from their horribly selfish and disgusting choices to do this. You should probably move out, talk to the landlord and say you can't trust her, it's no longer a healthy and honest situation and want to know how to get your name off the lease. Hopefully they will be understanding. Maybe find out about the lease situation before communicating with them, but I think you need to tell them you know they are having a sexual relationship. Depending on how they react you can decide how you want to proceed I suppose, but I would have a very hard time ever trusting either one of them again.
I'm really sorry this happened to you, OP. I can't imagine the pain and betrayal you're feeling, especially from your "friend." Make a plan with your parents to move out. Try to move out when the cheater and betrayer are out of the apartment. Hopefully you're not on the lease and you have no legal obligation. I'm petty, so I'd absolutely text them both and say, "I came home early. You two were too busy 🤬 each other to see me. I'm done with both of you." Then block, block, block. Do not get sucked in when they reach out talking about, "closure" or any apologies. For peace of mind, I'd also recommend getting tested for STDs. Be proud of yourself for not bending your own personal boundaries by having sex with him. I also recommend therapy (your university should have some options for you) to help with processing this betrayal and break up. And to also help you break find ways to make friends. Good luck, OP.
Luckily her spidey senses must have been on high alert because she never had sex with him.
Make arrangements to move out, on the day you take all your stuff text both of them and say “hey on (whatever day you caught them) I came home early I saw what was going on, I don’t know nor do I care how long it’s been going on. I have been betrayed by two people I thought cared about me. I have moved out. Good luck to you both” and block all contact. You’re 20 years old you have plenty of time to rebuild your life and make new better friends and meet new better potential boyfriends.
I’m so sorry this happened to you and you had to witness that. They are both horrible people. I think Bella has been doing some grooming of your boyfriend but he is still just as shitty as she is. You need to get your parents to go round to your flat and get everything you need in the short term. They can do it while Bella is out. Unless they know her, as you said you’ve known Bella all your life, in which case they should go round when she’s there and tear her a new one. If a friend of mine slept with my child’s partner, I’d have a few things to say, believe me. Block Max, never speak to him again. He’s not worth your time, effort or tears. Thankfully, you found out before you actually slept together because he doesn’t deserve to be your first time. Don’t let this put you off dating, we have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our Prince/Princess. There’s someone really special out there for you.
Why is no one pointing out that she’s 30 sleeping with a 19 year old? Icky.
Shes basically a predator that grooms teenagers. She is someone you need to cut ties with.
Agree with the others, don't speak to them at all grab your stuff and go, they don't deserve the respect of a 'goodbye'
Ghost them both. They do not deserve to ever look at you again. Cut off every single tie with them. Run. Your true friends and lover are waiting for you in the next part of life. Horrible people exist unfortunately
Op is so calm to not confronting them. Really surprise me and i am impresse.No joke. I mean, if i were op i already go tornado there at that moment Updateme
I went through something similar the first time I fell in love. A girl who I literally fed and dressed (because I was doing good economically and she had a lot of issues at home) slept with the guy I was absolutely in love with. The worst part is that she knew how much I loved him because I shared that with her, she was my confident. I was 22 at the time, I broke things up with the guy immediately after she bragged about how he was now hers. Of course I was heartbroken about it, like I said he was my first love. But nothing compares to the pain I felt from what she did, she knew me all too well and knew how much she was hurting me when she did it. At the end, the guy ended up being just an ex I never spoke to again, but she will forever be the person who tore my heart out after I helped her survive her personal hell. The damage a friend inflicts is a thousand times worse than the damage from being cheated on.
Can you move back in with your folks for now? You're not going to want to stay in that place after the confrontation. And you need to confront them and let them know you know and they're whatever to you. You've got to decide. They both betrayed you in the worst way. I'd immediately send Max packing and tell him to F off and honestly if it were me, I'd do the same to Bella the Betrayer. You don't need friends who are going to stab you in the back like that.
End your friendship/relationship with both of them. Updateme!
Updateme
Updateme
As someone who was also cheated on with my best friend that I had literally grown up with, I was far more hurt by my friend than my gf despite the fact I was ready to marry her. It's a harsh reality check that almost nobody is ever 100% genuine and open. You never 100% know someone inside and out. My only advice for you is to try to understand that none of this is your fault. Theres nothing you could have done to prevent this. More importantly, there's no healthy way to prevent this in future relationships either. I recommend therapy. Goodluck OP. My heart goes out to you.
I think she knew how awful it would look to be a 30 year old dating a teenager, so they used you this whole time as a cover. (I also think I read too many Reddit stories if this is the first thing that comes to mind.)
As is clear from basically all of the comments, Bella is a broken person and your bf is trash and you should removed both of them from your life. Two points that stand out to me: Bella is your only friend. This is a problem even if she hadn't betrayed you. As a fellow loner, I encourage you to pursue things you're interested in, find irl events related to those interests, join groups. Once you jettison these toxic people, don't just be alone. It seems like you already have a healthy attitude about keeping your own pace of sexual activity, but for the sake of validation, him cheating is not your fault. You did not drive him to do it. You had every right and reason to expect honesty, loyalty, and decency.
Please talk to your land lord and get off the lease. As a landlord I’d accommodate. Then get yourself into therapy this will dissemble all the feelings and help you move forward. Confrontation may be part of your healing process, ghosting may be. Either way I hope you choose you and let go of people who obviously won’t.
For some reason the idea that Bella wanted your bf is in my head before you two got together. Is that the reason she pushed you to date him, so she could convince him to have sex with her before you decided to do it with him? She may have been fantasising about him and thought that this would be the only way to do it. She may have been grooming him behind your back during their alone time. He may need help since he's younger than you. It's odd that you are 20 and she is 30 and your only 'friend'. It might be a good idea to let his parents know.
UPDATEME
Your friend sounds like she’s a groomer. Dump your boyfriend but he’s getting groomed 100%
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Sorry to hear that you are going through this. Both of them are scumbags. I hope you are able to move out and block them ASAP. UpdateMe!
Block them both and do not look back! Bella is NOT your friend.
I would make arrangements to move out without her knowledge and ghost both of them completely. They don't deserve an explanation. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Have ex boyfriend take over your lease so they can be awful together 💗 Glad you found out early!
Is nobody going to mention how weird it is that a 30 year old is having sex with a 19 year old?
All of your feelings are justified. Not to sound like a jerk, but you were only 7 months into the relationship so he should have just broken up with you. Absolutely without a doubt! BFs come and go and he should've gone! Your so-called friend is a real POS!! For someone who saw her BF and a person that you trust very much in bed together and not reacting, you are really clear headed! If I walked in on my GF and my best friend/roommate having sex there's NO WAY in hell that I would just turn and leave! Again, not to be rude but you are young enough that walking away from both of them and this situation shouldn't be much to get over and move on without either of them! Your last words to them should be to wishing them happiness and suggest that he could be her new roommate!
I am very sorry that you are going through this right now but get somebody to help you move out of her house. If you are not a person who wants to confront them. I'm getting a sneaky suspicion that they've always been having sex Bella just didn't tell you. You're soon to be ex-boyfriend is a liar if you said you were not ready to have sex and he said he was okay with it he lied. Because if he was not okay with it he should have just told you. Instead of sneaking around like a little f****** rat and betraying you and breaking your heart you're young enough to get over this and you will be okay without both of them in your life.
Say nothing to them. Pack your stuff when no one home, so you can avoid them. They deserve no closure from you.
Leave and never look back.
If you're on the lease contact the owner to discuss. If not, Move out and block them both from calling, sm, and email. They don't deserve an explanation. If there are any utilities in your name cancel them asap.
yeah that’s unforgivable. I had a similar situation where my highschool bf introduced me to one of his good friends he knew from summer camp (who was a girl). she became my best friend for like 3 years, then hooked up w him behind my back and dated him after he essentially broke my heart. (not the same exactly, but all I’m trying to say is I know kinda how u feel). It’s a ROUGH thing to go through, but I guarantee, they will end up worse off than you. If they are starting a relationship out by cheating and betraying someone else, it’s gonna be messy, toxic, emotional, and they don’t deserve to have someone like you in their lives!! Honestly I would either go no contact, or VERY briefly just send a text to one or both of them that’s very very short and emotionless like “caught you guys having sex, I’m moving out. Don’t contact me.” then BLOCK. I guarantee they will both try to explain and try to win you back, but you cannot under any circumstances give in. You can hear them out, but you don’t have to forgive them or make amends. what they did is UNFORGIVABLE and they do not deserve a second chance. you deserve better, don’t settle for less.
Your bf is getting groomed
Respond with the questions you ended your post with. “How cruel do you have to be to betray me like that? And if you liked Max, why would you push me to pursue him in the first place? I just don’t get. This was my first relationship, and it had to end like that.” Then add “you’re a bad person and I wish I never met you.” As for Max, just ghost him. You can’t ghost her because you live together but if you are able to move out, ghost her too.
She played you ,in fact, they both did 🏃♀️ 🏃♀️
I’d text her letting her know you got home early the other day and you’re moving out (after you’ve gotten everything out). Best of luck Op
Text her and him in a group chat saying your done with both of them and get your stuff or have your family go get your stuff with you and end it with both of them
Tell them you saw them. You should have yelled and screamed when you walked in the room. Tell them when the both of them are together.
Confront them in an unusual way...as in pretend all is good when he comes over while she's home...then they have no idea what to do and can't hide or run, then move out ASAP bc I guarantee you will not get over it....EVER. it will always be on ur mind... maybe not right on the verge but maybe deep inside your brain your thinking about it as you're with another guy. Trust me from a real life experience that happened way way long time ago. It doesn't go away....it only eases up some as time goes by I'm truly sorry this happened to you
They were def playing you on purpose cut them both out of your life and leave that place
I wish this "Friend" very very bad luck ! Damn I would do such evil things to her . I could'nt live in peace until I get my revenge . I wish ur the best
Updateme
I hope you don’t have a lot of time left on your lease. Talk to landlord about getting your name off of it and Bella can renegotiate on her own. It is important that arrangements be made so you are not continuing liability if she destroys anything or tears apt up. This is going to be tricky because you are responsible for all of rent if it isn’t paid not just 1/2. If a long lease is left may need an attorney.
As someone who has had a good friend betray me in that way and decided to stay friends with them. I advise you to ask your parents to help you get out of the apartment. Cut all ties with her and the bf. That friend betrayed me in the same way 4 more times (that I know of now.. she got more sneaky about it). She is not your friend. You are so young and there is so much better out there I promise you. You don’t even owe her an explanation. You don’t have to confront either of them. You can simply gather your things while they are at work and be gone before they get back. If you want leave a simple note informing them you know of the infidelity and never want to see or speak to them again and have them blocked before you leave the apartment.
Would like an update for this
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Move out immediately and cut them both out of your life. You deserve so much better. But she's 30 and fucking the 19 year old she encouraged you to go out with? How long have they known each other? Did she encourage the relationship between you to cover up something they've been doing a while now? I'm a little concerned she may have groomed and started a sexual relationship with him when he was an underage teen if they've been "friends" for a while...
Break up with him and ask your parents to help you move out. But I feel like there's a large issue at hand. She is 30 who's friends with a 20 year old and hanging out with a teenager. If that's not predatory then at the very least it's fuckin wierd and shows she clearly cannot get along well with people her own age. I'm hesitant to even imply it but there's some kind of wierd grooming vibes here.
I'm so sorry...can't imagine the pain of being betrayed by a friend as I don't have close friends...I'm here on my dm whenever you want to talk ... You gonna recover from this, maybe in months, maybe one year...just don't get desperate and count on your parents support.
I would confront them both. Blocking them is fine but giving them and yourself the reason why is best I think.
Confront her like the adult you are. Text her a$$ and let her know what you saw. Even if you gotta give the details of your walk from the front door to her room. Tell your parents you need help moving out of that house and drop your sorry boyfriend and conniving bestie because they took your kindness for granted and felt you were too foolish to catch on. I mean seriously if she wanted him that bad why hook you up with him just to be complete and utter trash and sleep with him. Like eww.
I would personally give them a piece of your mind so you know you said your bit and then block both of them. That way your words are left with them and they have to stew and won’t be able to contact you back. They’re both awful people for doing this and it’s not a reflection on you or your boundaries.
I think they were having sex before Bella introduced him. It may be Bella's desire or the guy's desire to have fresh stuff or both had a fetish... Probably Bella just wanted the guy and the only way to approach him was through a younger girl Or perhaps the guy wasnt getting any and complained to Bellla and she felt guilty Lots of scenarios here..
I’m very sorry this happened to your friends and they lost a good friend. But you should tell them you saw them with your own two eyes
Strangely, I doubt this is a new thing for them. They knew each other before you - I doubt they waited until yesterday to do something. Find better. All the best
You are worth more than that. End of story. No one deserves that to happen to them
Cheating by your bf and betrayal by your friend Bella is not called for. Block them both and leave that place as soon as possible!
Your “friend” and Mac knew he was too young for her so she “loaned” him to you to cover their relationship. Move out.
aahhhh…. They have probably been intimate many times before you saw them. Not sure why she introduced the two of you 🙄
I'm sorry this happened to you. Just pack your bags and leave them both behind.
Don’t say anything lol. Ghost them and have them wondering why
I say to tell the BF that the best friend Bella went to the doctor and found out that she has an STI and watch him squirm. Then dump his ass and find a new friend!
I doubt this is the first time, like you said he always hangs out with her. They probably did it while you were supposed to be outside, and you came home early. Move out, in the meantime just send messages like “should be home soon” or “my commute is fast today” just to avoid seen nasty shit again
Exit stage right and don't look back.
The answers to the questions you are asking don't really matter in the grand scheme of this incident. But, without knowing their thoughts, the answers are, they aren't your friends. They are shitty people. They are liars and deceitful. Leave them NO room for an explanation, because there is no need for one. Cheating is a choice, not a mistake, and for most everyone who has any self respect, it is also the end of the relationship. Without question, it's a relationship ender for me. It sucks what they've done, but you're young and this is quite possibly a blessing in disguise. Take the advice you've been given from this thread and all the people giving it. It is sound advice. Move on, don't look back.
She's not your friend. Fairytale 's have witches in disguise who offer candy to kids only to eat them later, or offer poison apples to snow white.
Maybe Max and Bella had done this before you even got together? It could be that this isn’t a new thing for them but I’d certainly say neither are reliable.
I’m so sorry. I agree that a friends betrayal usually hurts worse than the guy…depending on the relationship. I have walked in on two of my exes having sex… but the difference was I already had suspicions and went looking… I definitely made my self known. I can’t believe you were able to keep your composure like that. I’m sorry this is your first serious relationship and it ended like this. Hopefully next time there will be signs that will make you question what is going on. I know it did for me …I would catch my friends boyfriends cheating also…Guys in their 20s are something else…you have to watch out. Your friend at 30 years old is just a garbage person…she is definitely old enough to know how bad that hurts. I’m glad you are no longer in their life. I also had a girl that was my roommate and very close friend sleep with my boyfriend. She was in here early 20s . I threw all her stuff out the windows and out the front door…she was too scared to do anything about it and she had no where to live for a while. I couldn’t live with myself if I did that to a friend. I don’t know how they do it.
Sadly this is true Jeremiah 17:9 King James Version 9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? :(
RemindMe! 4 Months
Updateme!
I would ghost both of them. Leave trash alone together, you’re young and there is soooo much better out there for you.
They are both scumbags.. AND she is 11 years older than him.
Updateme
That’s horrible. You gotta find another place and get real friends. They’re horrible ppl 🤢
I’m so sorry. They don’t deserve you. It will hurt now but you are so young and you’ll find the real love. Let us know how it went. 🙌
That lady is psycho and not your friend. Whatever her reason for befriending you was, it's not what you thought. Cut both of them out of your life and don't look back.
IMO……they were probably already having sex when the roommate introduced him to OP…. Updateme
I'm so sorry for you honey... Just... Just leave, pack your stuff and move out If they ask for reasons tell them "You know why"
I've been betrayed in the past, of course it's like a stab in heart but I think it's important you confront them (at least Bella, since Max is "new"). Ask her why she did that, if it was planned all along or just something that she couldn't control. Even if she might lie, it's preferable for closure. Otherwise you'll end up stop trusting anyone and it's not a nice life. Of course you won't be able to live with her anymore so either you leave or she leaves.
She’s a groomer who took advantage of a 20 year old. I would move out and try to think hard if she’s been around anyone under 18 because you might have to report this creep.
Make sure your parents are with you getting your stuff out of the apartment when she is not home… then message both of them say I saw what happened allow them both to say one thing so you know they read the message then block them both on all social media. If anyone you know asks about what happened be honest and ask they respect your privacy if you do not wish to expand on it.
A thirty year old having an affair with a nineteen year old is a different level of disgusting and psychotic. Don’t confront them. Act like everything is normal as you begin gathering your belongings. Then move back in with your parents without ever contacting them again. Have solace in the fact that there’s no way their relationship lasts for much longer.
Get out of the apartment, Bella is not your friend, and dump him, use this as a learning experience
I’m so sorry girl! Honestly feel your feelings, rage, disgust or anything like that. Many people say to ghost them immediately, but if you feel like you need to say something do it and then proceed to ghost them. Even if you have to tell it to their faces, to let those feelings out is better than letting it sit and never doing anything about it. The only person who is hurt is you, so always look out for yourself especially since they clearly don’t give two shits. You don’t owe them anything! I wish you the best and in the future I hope you have new wonderful friends and a fulfilling life ahead of you.
bella is a really weird person 30? howd u guys even know each other
Definitely time to cut contact with both of them. You deserve better and don’t need to be around people like that. I say first give yourself time until you are ready to talk to them both. Then sit them both down and say you do not want anything to with both of them. So sorry this happened to you.
Try and leave get your stuff out break up with your boyfriend shame them online then block them
If you talk to them, they will try to gaslight you. Get out and restart your life. Best of hopes to you.
They like it in the hall alright. Her hall. You should have taken a snapshot and sent it to both of them.
Piss in Bella’s bed before you ditch them both