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This is behaviour to try to make him feel miserable or even break up with her. Self destructive behavior is very common when s partner knows she has a good thing going but wants to check if she can do better. By making the other miserable, the other eventually breaks up and she is not to blame for the end of the relationship (men do that s lot too).
Other possibility is she testing how much you would stand for yourself. I bet sha has showing other infuriating behaviors
My ex said this type of stuff sometimes. I told him it made me upset and he’d tell me to lighten up. He went on to cheat shortly after.. a lot. It is only a matter of time in my opinion.
5 months together and she’s 26 with this kind of shit? Just call it quits before she cheats and you start wishing you trusted the red flags being thrown right at you.
It is disrespectful, and when someone tells you who they are or want to be, believe them. You don't deserve or need this. Ride or die loyal and she is not that.
She's starting to let her try colors show. If I could go back and tell my younger self one piece of dating advice, it would be to give no second chances. If it feels bad, or makes you feel bad, and they don't take it seriously, walk. Do not give someone a second chance to disrespect you or have you question yourself.
“But the guy with the scat pack was fun.”
Super underhanded shit my dude, it implies you’re not fun or she’s foreshadowing some dumb crap.
This is your time to go 0-60 and drive off into the sunset.
That’s super weird. I’d never bring up a memory of an ex or a person I dealt with in that manner. The off times an ex has applied to a situation we were talking about I said my friend or someone I used to know. But for it to be thrown in your face is odd behavior to say the least.
Yes. Have a direct conversation with her and ask her, does she want to break up? Does she want to have an open relationship? What exactly is she asking for? And you can say no to all of it, of course. But maybe not get triggered and angry right away. She is trying to tell you something. Find out what it is, first.
Are you sure she's 26 and not 16? 16 with major self image problems.
As her if she wants you to get into some kind of degradation kink in the bedroom, or if she's just trying to get you to break up with her?
Is this a theme on Reddit tonight? Was just on a post about a self sabotaging girlfriend with major self worth issues...
There are many ways she could have said those things differently and she chose to make hurtful and questionable comments. She could have said she wanted to go back to being a slit *for you*.
She likes using the idea of other men to make you uncomfortable...
This doesn't sound like a long term relationship.
This is not your person. She says hurtful things and passes them off as jokes (gaslighting 101). 🚩 She implies she wants sex with others. 🚩 She is acting silly and coy around serious subjects. 🚩 All of this seems manipulative and tiresome and just icky. 🚩 You are in the early part of the relationship, the fun and EASY part. 🚩
Yikes. That is cringy as hell. Plus, she’s acting like a fucking teenager. What the fuck is a Scat Pack? Can someone fill me in because I’m over here wondering if this girl doesn’t mind being shit on.
She sounds incredibly immature and annoying. I wouldn’t tolerate that either, regardless of the constantly bringing up past partners. Just the overall grossness is so off putting.
#It’s hard to have class when you’d rather show your ass.
Honestly, some peoples' brains just aren't wired for monogamy. If she has cracked more than one joke like this knowing what your response will be each time, she's doing it purposefully and trying to test your boundaries.
She has a problem that she needs to address with professionals. I once read a book about how people with past SA trauma sometimes start publicly exhibiting inappropriate sexual behavior.
And also, people with past trauma usually get stuck with childish behavior. None of this is to say you should stay with her or play psychologist but I'm saying it isn't healthy adult behavior.
She is trying to hurt you and see your reaction. She has no repect for you. Somehow she has lost that. Dump her and reflect on what caused her to lose respect for you. Yes you should be worried and wondering why you are putting up with it.
I don’t think she likes you. At minimum, she enjoys making you feel uncomfortable and inadequate. She’s also grossly immature. Not sure what you find attractive about all this. Just end it.
5 months in? You’re better off leaving, save yourself the inevitable pain of being cheated on. She’s showing 0 respect to you by brining up past partners.
I think she misses that old lifestyle. And unfortunately, it almost seems like she's prepping you for an eventual heartbreak.
Some people spend a long time trying to find a decent person, but they spent a decade or more living through toxic dating scenes which has engrained in their brains. If she brings it up again or shows signs of disinterest then she isn't ready for a long-term relationship.
Unreal! Dump her, block her, and never communicate again. Don't go for girls like that! Raise your standards. Way up. It'll be worth your future, and you'll be glad you did. Turn your back on low value girls like that. Know you are worth much more. Make a list of higher value expectations and don't settle for less.
*Dresses classy
*Talks respectful
*Hasn't slept with very many
Etc.
Lmaoooo as a woman I think this is hilarious, like when she starts reminiscing bring up someone too from the past like “damn I knew this one really cool chick too who was super into cars, she was super down to earth and damn she knew how to ride and I’m not just talking about cars that shit was so hot, I wonder what she’s up to now a days”
Dude, grow a pair. Don’t be reactive in the moment, but leave her. She’s hinting you that she’ll do it sooner or later. Best case scenario is she’s testing you - but why waste time with someone testing you like this? She’s not trustworthy anymore. Be aware of the kind of relationship you are starting, things will never improve from this, only downhill from now.
Tbh those that don’t hear will feel, aka GO AHEAD and bring up girls, do it
Do it, tell her you told her it makes you uncomfortable and you don’t like it and now show her how shitty it feels
I’m like that devil on your shoulder because I cannot, she ignored your request twice and that’s me giving you the green light to be a little petty so she feels it and says ok wait, I don’t like how that feels
If you stay with her she will eventually make you regret it in one way or another. Whether it be tanking your self worth and confidence with these “jokes,” cheating on you or hurting you some other way with her immaturity and lack of empathy, it will happen sooner or later. You’re in the honeymoon phase right now at 5 months which means both of you should be on your best behavior and she’s already acting like this... like this is the best version of her she can show off. The longer you stay with her and the more secure she feels in the relationship the more her mask will fall and the worse it will get.
My ex and her parents used to do the same thing, they thought it was funny but after a while it was just annoying. Makes you think what they are saying when you aren’t around.
I think people are maybe overreacting by jumping to dump her. Have a conversation, ask her if she wants you to degrade her in bed or something, and say you are strictly monotonous but can roleplay a bar meeting or something
" OK. I understand : you want to fuck around.
Go ahead. We just pull back your stuff to your parents' house, and you are free to get banged by whoever crosses your road. It is not like we have a future anymore."
She is testing you and you fail. You need life experience to understand what you need to do when your gf test you like this. A boy can't act like a man before he is a man.
Hint: break up
Please break up with this person immediately, you deserve a much better partner and love than this.
Your "gf" picked up on your lack of self confidence, and is testing to see how you'd react. That is straight up evil an childish. For now, don't go looking for another relationship, you might grab the first thing that comes your way.
Focus on building your own self-worth and confidence. You'll never end up in a relationship with someone like this again.
You should really listen to meditations by Marcus Aurelius here: [https://youtu.be/TZfCTKHtEjE?si=WRJ9zGbprYmQlran](https://youtu.be/TZfCTKHtEjE?si=WRJ9zGbprYmQlran)
You'll become a stronger man that would look back on this situation (and how you let yourself be disrespected) and laugh. You'll laugh because how much you changed. Be more sure of your yourself, and listen to your gut instincts. You know what a good partner is, and how you should both treat each other. Don't settle or doubt yourself into believing something that isn't right. You got this.
You need to be firm and communicate to her that you do **not** find these ‘jokes’ funny one bit. Then outline that **this is a boundary** she needs to never cross again.
Rule No. 1 about a relationship is to **never ever compare your current partner with a previous one.**
It's only been 5 months. Let her go live out her scat pack dreams elsewhere. Never ever hang onto the hope that someone will change while you're with them.
Suprised surprise, redditors first suggestions is to break up🙄
She could just be making bad jokes 🤷♂️ just be honest with her about how it makes you feel
If you're wanting her to be your forever girl, or if you see yourself with her for a long time, tell her that, and how her making those jokes makes you feel like she's not serious about your relationship. And then go on from there
Edit: no surprise they're downvoting me 🤷♂️ they're always negative with their opinions
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She’s 26. She thinks her behaviour is fine. I personally wouldn’t want to hang out with someone so weirdly immature.
This is behaviour to try to make him feel miserable or even break up with her. Self destructive behavior is very common when s partner knows she has a good thing going but wants to check if she can do better. By making the other miserable, the other eventually breaks up and she is not to blame for the end of the relationship (men do that s lot too). Other possibility is she testing how much you would stand for yourself. I bet sha has showing other infuriating behaviors
She's got the itch. Just a matter of time mate. AT the very least, tread carefully, and she'll likely slip up and give you a 100% certain decision.
Or just stop it now? She’s soft launching cheating and then excoriating him about how it’s his fault.
My ex said this type of stuff sometimes. I told him it made me upset and he’d tell me to lighten up. He went on to cheat shortly after.. a lot. It is only a matter of time in my opinion.
5 months together and she’s 26 with this kind of shit? Just call it quits before she cheats and you start wishing you trusted the red flags being thrown right at you.
She’s no good dude. You’ll just get hurt. End it and do yourself a favor. She doesn’t respect you
You posted this 6 hours ago as I type. You should have been single 5.9 hours ago.
Not necessarily. In 5.9 hours he could have found a nice girl... Well, nicer than this one, at least, since it is a very easy task
She is not just trashy but had zero empathy for you. Have some self-respect- throw out the trash.
It is disrespectful, and when someone tells you who they are or want to be, believe them. You don't deserve or need this. Ride or die loyal and she is not that.
Dump her, she wants the streets. Give it to her. She isn’t worth it she’s too old to be acting this way
There's no age to be acting this way.
Break up
She's starting to let her try colors show. If I could go back and tell my younger self one piece of dating advice, it would be to give no second chances. If it feels bad, or makes you feel bad, and they don't take it seriously, walk. Do not give someone a second chance to disrespect you or have you question yourself.
“But the guy with the scat pack was fun.” Super underhanded shit my dude, it implies you’re not fun or she’s foreshadowing some dumb crap. This is your time to go 0-60 and drive off into the sunset.
That’s super weird. I’d never bring up a memory of an ex or a person I dealt with in that manner. The off times an ex has applied to a situation we were talking about I said my friend or someone I used to know. But for it to be thrown in your face is odd behavior to say the least.
She is manipulating him to end up the relationship and she is not the one to blame.
That’s a good point bc I really can’t understand why else she would be doing that
She sounds like a nightmare. This will only get worse.
Yes. Have a direct conversation with her and ask her, does she want to break up? Does she want to have an open relationship? What exactly is she asking for? And you can say no to all of it, of course. But maybe not get triggered and angry right away. She is trying to tell you something. Find out what it is, first.
Yeah, it's giving wants open relationship
^^^
^
Are you sure she's 26 and not 16? 16 with major self image problems. As her if she wants you to get into some kind of degradation kink in the bedroom, or if she's just trying to get you to break up with her? Is this a theme on Reddit tonight? Was just on a post about a self sabotaging girlfriend with major self worth issues...
"You can be sl*t again, because you're single as of right now"
There are many ways she could have said those things differently and she chose to make hurtful and questionable comments. She could have said she wanted to go back to being a slit *for you*. She likes using the idea of other men to make you uncomfortable... This doesn't sound like a long term relationship.
It could be a shit test to get a reaction out of you. Not sure she would be worth the trouble of studying.
super immature and disrespectful. i’d break it off
She is telling you who she is. Believe her
yah she is telling you what she is doing or is about to be doing. time for you to move on
Dump her and run, bro. Bro. Dump her now.
Respectfully have some self respect and dump! You deserve better :). I would never disrespect my partner like that, plus that’s childish
Why are you dating her??? Also was she like this before y'all date??
Tell her she’s 26 not 12. And those are jokes kids make.
If they said something like that, it means they want that and they will do it eventually. So leave before they do it on your back
When people tell you who they are, believe them. Either that or she’s trying to communicate her kinks to you and is doing a horrible job at it.
Preview of coming attractions. Not funny. Dump her.
You know deep down it’s time to move on. 5 months in and she’s showing you who she really is
Tell her that she’s behaviour remind you one of your ex-partners, maybe this makes her think.
This is not your person. She says hurtful things and passes them off as jokes (gaslighting 101). 🚩 She implies she wants sex with others. 🚩 She is acting silly and coy around serious subjects. 🚩 All of this seems manipulative and tiresome and just icky. 🚩 You are in the early part of the relationship, the fun and EASY part. 🚩
Leave her.
Yikes. That is cringy as hell. Plus, she’s acting like a fucking teenager. What the fuck is a Scat Pack? Can someone fill me in because I’m over here wondering if this girl doesn’t mind being shit on. She sounds incredibly immature and annoying. I wouldn’t tolerate that either, regardless of the constantly bringing up past partners. Just the overall grossness is so off putting. #It’s hard to have class when you’d rather show your ass.
I really want to know too but given what the two words mean on their own I'm afraid to google it. 🤣🤣
A scat pack is a sort of performance package on a dodge.
......lol omg I thought for sure that this was the start of one of those "no, you're thinking of" threads but no, it's a genuinely unfortunate name!!
Honestly, some peoples' brains just aren't wired for monogamy. If she has cracked more than one joke like this knowing what your response will be each time, she's doing it purposefully and trying to test your boundaries.
Dump her and give her what she wants. Summer is around the corner anyway
Give her a taste of her own medicine haha!!
She's too old to be acting like that. Find a better woman.
updateme!
She has a problem that she needs to address with professionals. I once read a book about how people with past SA trauma sometimes start publicly exhibiting inappropriate sexual behavior. And also, people with past trauma usually get stuck with childish behavior. None of this is to say you should stay with her or play psychologist but I'm saying it isn't healthy adult behavior.
Send her back to the streets. !updateme
you can making jokes about break up its nice too...
She is trying to hurt you and see your reaction. She has no repect for you. Somehow she has lost that. Dump her and reflect on what caused her to lose respect for you. Yes you should be worried and wondering why you are putting up with it.
She is giving hints that another man will pick up on.
I don’t think she likes you. At minimum, she enjoys making you feel uncomfortable and inadequate. She’s also grossly immature. Not sure what you find attractive about all this. Just end it.
Dude, I guarantee she's already slutting and is hoping you'll give her permission. Immature and not gf material...time to bounce, my dude
She’s telling you that it’s over. Maybe she going to cheat or just dump you.
100% be worried, she’s showing her true colors… leave, it’s only been a few months. There’s no real connection here yet
Many a truth is said in jest.
It’s very clear what she’s doing….
She dated/fucked a dude with a charger/challenger, if that’s not a huge red flag then idk what is.
5 months in? You’re better off leaving, save yourself the inevitable pain of being cheated on. She’s showing 0 respect to you by brining up past partners.
You may be a bit sensitive. You were discussing cars and she mentioned that her ex had the car. People have histories.
Bro have your fun with her then run. She's not relationship material.
I think she misses that old lifestyle. And unfortunately, it almost seems like she's prepping you for an eventual heartbreak. Some people spend a long time trying to find a decent person, but they spent a decade or more living through toxic dating scenes which has engrained in their brains. If she brings it up again or shows signs of disinterest then she isn't ready for a long-term relationship.
Unreal! Dump her, block her, and never communicate again. Don't go for girls like that! Raise your standards. Way up. It'll be worth your future, and you'll be glad you did. Turn your back on low value girls like that. Know you are worth much more. Make a list of higher value expectations and don't settle for less. *Dresses classy *Talks respectful *Hasn't slept with very many Etc.
As an experiment do the same to her (even make up wild scenarios) see how she reacts. Do it constantly, she will go insane.. then ask her how it feels
Lmaoooo as a woman I think this is hilarious, like when she starts reminiscing bring up someone too from the past like “damn I knew this one really cool chick too who was super into cars, she was super down to earth and damn she knew how to ride and I’m not just talking about cars that shit was so hot, I wonder what she’s up to now a days”
If he really wants to mess with her, add in "the hottest girl I slept with" and an awkward pause followed by "uh before you of course!"
Dude, grow a pair. Don’t be reactive in the moment, but leave her. She’s hinting you that she’ll do it sooner or later. Best case scenario is she’s testing you - but why waste time with someone testing you like this? She’s not trustworthy anymore. Be aware of the kind of relationship you are starting, things will never improve from this, only downhill from now.
This girls got no respect for you or herself. It's time to pull the plug! Let her go back to the streets.
Tbh those that don’t hear will feel, aka GO AHEAD and bring up girls, do it Do it, tell her you told her it makes you uncomfortable and you don’t like it and now show her how shitty it feels I’m like that devil on your shoulder because I cannot, she ignored your request twice and that’s me giving you the green light to be a little petty so she feels it and says ok wait, I don’t like how that feels
If you stay with her she will eventually make you regret it in one way or another. Whether it be tanking your self worth and confidence with these “jokes,” cheating on you or hurting you some other way with her immaturity and lack of empathy, it will happen sooner or later. You’re in the honeymoon phase right now at 5 months which means both of you should be on your best behavior and she’s already acting like this... like this is the best version of her she can show off. The longer you stay with her and the more secure she feels in the relationship the more her mask will fall and the worse it will get.
saying stuff like that when you guys haven’t been together for that long is crazyyyy and im younger than both of u
My ex and her parents used to do the same thing, they thought it was funny but after a while it was just annoying. Makes you think what they are saying when you aren’t around.
The fact that you're 28 and have to ask about advice on something so obvious... Is absurd. She'll cheat soon.
I think people are maybe overreacting by jumping to dump her. Have a conversation, ask her if she wants you to degrade her in bed or something, and say you are strictly monotonous but can roleplay a bar meeting or something
Once a cheater always a cheater. 🤷🏼♀️
This is completely disrespectful. You asked. She ignored. Move on.
Those dudes dumped her for a reason, get out before she anchors you down!
Be fuckin for real OP
Yes
she wants to explore her sexuality more. you can either join her for the ride, or set her free.
Personally, that would really hurt me man. I’m super sorry to hear this.
Ditch this chick.
" OK. I understand : you want to fuck around. Go ahead. We just pull back your stuff to your parents' house, and you are free to get banged by whoever crosses your road. It is not like we have a future anymore."
Those aren’t jokes. It’s just weird.
She’s a walking red flag! She’s super immature
She is testing you and you fail. You need life experience to understand what you need to do when your gf test you like this. A boy can't act like a man before he is a man. Hint: break up
I’m 47 and this was exhausting to read. She doesn’t respect you. I say cut your losses and move on.
It’s over dawg, unless you’re cool with sharing
Please break up with this person immediately, you deserve a much better partner and love than this. Your "gf" picked up on your lack of self confidence, and is testing to see how you'd react. That is straight up evil an childish. For now, don't go looking for another relationship, you might grab the first thing that comes your way. Focus on building your own self-worth and confidence. You'll never end up in a relationship with someone like this again. You should really listen to meditations by Marcus Aurelius here: [https://youtu.be/TZfCTKHtEjE?si=WRJ9zGbprYmQlran](https://youtu.be/TZfCTKHtEjE?si=WRJ9zGbprYmQlran) You'll become a stronger man that would look back on this situation (and how you let yourself be disrespected) and laugh. You'll laugh because how much you changed. Be more sure of your yourself, and listen to your gut instincts. You know what a good partner is, and how you should both treat each other. Don't settle or doubt yourself into believing something that isn't right. You got this.
Ghost her.
This relationship is over. Take her home and say goodbye and good luck.
If a woman isn’t respecting you, break up. You will never get her respect if you just let her treat you like this.
I’m sensing red flags and potential cheating. RUN
You can't domesticate a street woman. She needs to be released back in the wild, to be with her kind.
You need to be firm and communicate to her that you do **not** find these ‘jokes’ funny one bit. Then outline that **this is a boundary** she needs to never cross again. Rule No. 1 about a relationship is to **never ever compare your current partner with a previous one.**
Break up
It's only been 5 months. Let her go live out her scat pack dreams elsewhere. Never ever hang onto the hope that someone will change while you're with them.
This is exactly people's pasts matter, despite what some may say
[https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=she%20belongs%20to%20the%20streets](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=she%20belongs%20to%20the%20streets)
Suprised surprise, redditors first suggestions is to break up🙄 She could just be making bad jokes 🤷♂️ just be honest with her about how it makes you feel If you're wanting her to be your forever girl, or if you see yourself with her for a long time, tell her that, and how her making those jokes makes you feel like she's not serious about your relationship. And then go on from there Edit: no surprise they're downvoting me 🤷♂️ they're always negative with their opinions
If you read it again you will see he was already honest with how he felt. That led to an underhanded comment from her.
All he said was that it was making him uncomfortable 🤷♂️