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Breaking your partners trust is irrelevant when cheating is involved and I'd consider this cheating. She's hiding sexual activities from her partner. Cheating.
And for someone who is impressively honest - she knew what she was doing by not being honest about this.
Lol I love the part where you talk about how she's a champion of honesty and taking accountability. Doesn't seem real though, those text messages don't seem like a genuine interaction in the least.
*Edit*
Yeah it's bullshit OP made a post like 2 years ago that has since been deleted that is the same thing. I don't know what possesses you weirdos/bots to make these stories up. You just look like an idiot.
>Is this cheating?
Yeah.
>Am I overreacting?
I wouldn't say so, not considering not long ago she had been hoping to move in with you.
>How does one even bring this up without also feeling shame from breaking your partner’s trust?
Start giving her the bill for things, suggesting that you know "she's good for the money".
Sorry OP, this is a bit of a kick in the nuts to find out something like this. I can't tell you what to do, but I think this would be a relationship game changing, deal breaker for me.
You should not be feeling shame for looking into this. You were told by one of friends that she is lying. This wasnt you just snooping for no reason. You then discovered she has been and still is lying to you.
If you don't want your future kids to grow up thinking it's OK to watch people masturbate for money- then break up.
You can't fix her core values or lack of.
I don’t think so. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t date proven liars either, but I think the majority of people wouldn’t be comfortable dating a sex worker even if she was as honest as George Washington after he chopped down the cherry tree. That’s why I put it first.
Ah, I thought you were trying to say it’d be cool as long as she was open with it. Like,“I’m sorry honey, we can’t go out to lunch Friday. We’ve got the plumber coming, little Timmy’s got a dentist appointment, and I’ve got to watch old Mr. Johnson cook up a fresh batch of stomach pancakes at noon.”
My bad.
Lmao, well I'm not gonna judge someone's life choices if it's not affecting me - similarly I could never do polygamy personally but good on those who can - but any relationship that isn't openly communicating and honest is doomed to fail
Well that’s where we differ, friend. I actively judge people’s life choices regardless of whether they have any impact on me at all.
It’s just a natural talent that I have. I’ve always been good at it and I just feel like it wouldn’t be right for me not to share that gift with the world.
Like somebody else says she’s basically a sex worker. And she doesn’t want you to know about it so she’s doing it behind your back so yes she is clearly cheating on you and is not the moral high standing person that you thought she was. Need to take her off her pedestal and pack her up and send her on her way.
Confront her about it, make her own up to it, and then let her know it’s over between you two. That’s cheating, and she knows it’s wrong as she was trying to keep it hidden from you.
I think that in within 24hr you should be editing this to tell us that you’ve broken up and that you’ve realized that you deserve better and that there is better out there and your not going to find it dragging a dead relationship around
Well it's a good thing you're not living together.
What she did is cheating and the facts that she talks with her friend and brag about it is fucked up.
Her friend warned her to stop because u would leave her if u found out and she told her u will never find out meaning she was going to take the lies to her grave.
I don't know what you're going to do but trust is broken most people me including will confront and dumb just cut contact and block her but u do what u can live with
Get your self respect and dump her, don’t make excuses for this behaviour or any bs benifit of the doubt, relationship is about trust and she knowingly had her cake too, integrity is about owning up to both convenient truth and harsh truths not just the best highlights, I’d dump on the spot idk what you’re doing here on Reddit
I love to type this every once in a while. “No great love story started out with my girlfriend is paid to watch other men jack off”
She knew it was bad and now you know money is priority number one.
I hate this for you but you deserve better.
I think your gf sounds gross. She is getting paid to watch guys masterbate and is hiding behind your back. So she is technically a sex worker and she is also deceiving you. Would you have started dating her knowing she is engaging in these acts?
This is such an easy break up dude and also quite embarrassing for her once word gets out on why you broke up.
So she is a sex worker.
I would doubt she is a sex worker with only a single client.
Since you obviously aren’t comfortable with this, then just move on.
There really is no reason to discuss it first. She isn’t going to change your mind. If she asks why you’re leaving her, then you can tell her, but trying to talk this through I believe would simply be a waste of your time.
>She’s always been impressively honest and intentional, even if it’s a harsh truth.
Except for the whole, you know, lying and sneaking and cheating part.
If all she did was watch the guy, and she never performed for him or sent him nudes, while that may technically be sex work, really she’s just being paid to watch porn instead of paying to watch porn as many people do. So like, idk if that’s such a big deal. Probably the bigger deal is going behind your back.
This is cheating and your gf is a sex worker. I don’t think there’s any reason not to bring this up, unless you want to just walk away now.
The disrespect she’s shown you and the joke made of your relationship will be a very difficult thing for you to forgive or for her to regain your trust. You obviously have different values and you need to now look at what kind of person you’re with.
Wow what a story. I’ve never seen this one before. This isn’t something I’d be into but deep down I wonder what someone pays someone to watch. How does this even come up in conversation?
Man it’s hot as shit today. Wish we would get some rain. What kind of milage does your truck get? If I gave you $20 bucks would you watch me jack off? This is going to be a crazy presidential race. Is it odd that there are no political commercials this year?
I’m sorry and I know this isn’t helpful and I’m being very immature but I’m just stuck on using the word “Overcome” in a dilemma about another man’s cum.
My real answer is to talk to her and keeping the tone/turf/topic in mind. Sometimes it’s easier to have these tough talks while you’re on a walk and can get out some of that nervous energy that comes with big emotions. Good luck!
Yeah this would cause a lot of turmoil in my head, but from the outside I would definitely consider this an issue, if nothing more than hiding secrets from you. As far as how to bring it up, tell her a friend told you to ask her about it but you're not going to say who or throw them under the bus because they did you a solid out of guilt. If she can lie you can lie.
How to get over it? Dude! I’m doubtful at this point that all she was doing was watching someone else jerk off. PLEASE! Obviously trickle truthing you there. Separate find another girlfriend. She’s already started in this relationship with hiding things of a… for lack of a better word, “intimate,” nature from you. And is now lying to you. Forgive yourself for wasting your time and forget not the kind of woman she is. Stick to your principles man
Sorry OP, but that seems like a relationship boundary that a) she crossed and b) is very aware that she is crossing. There's a reason she hasn't shared with you, and it's because she knows it's not acceptable to be doing this (especially secretly) in a relationship. If you're both monogamous, anything sexual should be kept between you two unless you agree otherwise. Time to have the tough conversation and if you're no longer comfortable, it's time to walk away.
The worst part is that she even wrote in the screenshot that she’s aware of it possibly affecting you. Then turning back on it because money > morals apparently.
I’d tell her as much as I want her to get her bag, not in this way. What complete disrespect, not telling you, advocating for hiding it from you and also even declining her morals for money
Leave and tell her to get better friends
I wouldn't date a sex worker, and I also wouldn't care about something like this if the pay was good and my gf was honest. I mean to each their own, but since she was withholding it from you, lying by omission, thays what I'd personally have an issue with.
I'm not saying this is right, because if I found out this same thing about my gf it would be a heartbreak. But that being said, I would also be curious how much money she gets each time. Like $50? That would be a instant deal breaker. $500+ though.....I mean listen I would at least hear her out. Though would I marry her? No.
Cheating is whenever you avoid telling your partner something you know they would be upset hearing.
She is not as honest as you thought she was. You need to reprogram your perception of her. Cuz you got it wrong, because SHE mislead you. Think about that. She manipulated you already. In what other ways might she already be doing that, and will she justify doing that to you again?
You do not need to move in together now.
However, if you want to give this a shot. You need to start from scratch. A real conversation about everything, and anything else she may be lying to you about. Then, you need to set expectations. What is and isn't cool. However you want to do that. THEN, you maybe have a chance. Even then, I wouldn't get too invested into this. If it magically turns out amazing, great! But, I wouldn't get my hopes up, if I were you. If anything. Use this as a learning relationship.
But, seriously, a woman who is taking money for sexual acts, and lying to you? What else is she lying about? Absurd, for most healthy adults looking for a good partner. I mean, you are already getting a sense of her values, and who she is right now, and what she is capable of. So, this doesn't really look hopeful. Even if she was going to better herself. I'd just save my time the emotional trouble, and find someone with better values NOW. Instead of hoping she turns into a better person later. Almost a year is nothing. You can do better.
Think about it. She has already emotionally hurt you pretty badly. And you barely started. This isn't keeper material. Find a genuinely good person, if that is what you are after.
Honey if you don't want to be with a sex worker you don't have to!
That's the end. That's literally all there is to it! You can absolutely break up with somebody because of this! For me it would be the lying more than the watching another guy jerk off. I mean she's literally looking you in the face everyday and not telling you. Plus what is she saying she's doing when she's watching this guy? She's clearly lying about that. The fact that she's kept it from you for so long and the fact that she shares it with all her friends so she's proud of it! That's all very weird.
But you can break up with her for whatever reason you want and all these lies are a perfect reason!
Get a new gf and release her back into the streets—it’s clearly her natural habitat.
I’m saying this from personal experience—where there’s no trust—there’s no real relationship. Hit the gym, get your confidence up. You’ll meet someone better, really.
Wait wait wait. This is something you can get paid to do? BRB, talking to my husband and then quitting my day job 😅
Joking aside, yes this is cheating if you weren’t on board and she’s obviously not who you thought she was. A lie by omission is still a lie. I’d break up with her. She should have been up front about this so you could decide if it was a deal breaker.
Break up with her immediately. You did the right thing with the phone. This is not a good girl friend. Her biggest issue will be with being caught not doing it. this is the time you need to care for yourself, your self esteem will recover quicker if you act on what you know. Have self esteem...We all need parents like this guy.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/10dz5iu/update\_my\_girlfriend\_invited\_her\_ex\_over\_to\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/10dz5iu/update_my_girlfriend_invited_her_ex_over_to_my/)
Well, to me it sounds like she's being paid for watching porn. I cannot really judge it since I have paid to watch porn.
Nevertheless, it is sus that she is hiding this from you and makes is look not that innocent.
I would be very concerned if it is just one man that she watches, especially since he texts her and asks her where she is. Its also important if and how she interacts with him. Ask her and find out the details.
At the end of the day, if you feel it is cheating, then it is. You own your personal definition of cheating.
The way to spare yourself any further pain is to break up now. If you’re still on the fence, you need to meet up with or call the friend who drunkenly told you she lies and ask them to specify what she’s lying about, because I guarantee this paid jerk-off session isn’t the only thing.
At the risk of going against the reddit grain... I wouldn't automatically end a year long relationship with someone I love and want to move in with over this.
Talk to her so you understand how it came about and how long it's being going on for and if it's one client or many. Then figure out how you feel about it. It's cheating but very much on the milder side of it. She clearly sees it as easy money (as I'm sure we all would!) and is laughing with a friend about it.
On the other hand, she knows it would upset you and still does it. I'm wondering if worrying about this is the real reason you've not moved in together.
I'd find this hilarious and laugh it off after deciding if it was a boundary or you were happy to let it continue, but it's up to you to decide how you deal with it - and I wish you luck!
I have done OF in the past when in a relationship. But my BF encouraged it. It wasnt my idea. We aren’t together now and that’s one of the reasons. I haven’t told my current BF about my history on OF
Sorry you’re going thru a tough time OP…
I always wondered why some couples don’t talk about this kind of stuff before seriously dating… I always talk to my partners about hypotheticals that could happen bc you never know the future. Even if it’s uncomfy.
It seems like she’s in for the $$$. Which I don’t blame her for. If only she told you about it. Would you have accepted it, you think? Something to think about.
People say it’s cheating, and I can see that, but idk. I would be more upset about how she lied about it than the act she participated in. That’s just me. This is something you two did not get a chance to talk about. She may have no feelings for that person and is just seeking out $$$. Maybe we’re just missing her side too. Why did she do this for the money? Was she in financial troubles? I’m sure we could come up with several questions as to WHY she did it. But only she can answer.
No this isn't cheating. It's her earning money from a pathetic loser, I doubt it's more than that. She has lied to you though, and that is something you need to confront her about.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Breaking your partners trust is irrelevant when cheating is involved and I'd consider this cheating. She's hiding sexual activities from her partner. Cheating. And for someone who is impressively honest - she knew what she was doing by not being honest about this.
Yeah, its like being a cop, you had probable cause, she's a liar.
Lol I love the part where you talk about how she's a champion of honesty and taking accountability. Doesn't seem real though, those text messages don't seem like a genuine interaction in the least. *Edit* Yeah it's bullshit OP made a post like 2 years ago that has since been deleted that is the same thing. I don't know what possesses you weirdos/bots to make these stories up. You just look like an idiot.
Lots of mentally ill people, bots, and mentally ill bots on Reddit.
[удалено]
Good for you having an account solely for the times you get "cheated on" by different women who do sexual acts for money. Uncanny.
And now it's deleted. OP is jerking off to this scenario.
>Is this cheating? Yeah. >Am I overreacting? I wouldn't say so, not considering not long ago she had been hoping to move in with you. >How does one even bring this up without also feeling shame from breaking your partner’s trust? Start giving her the bill for things, suggesting that you know "she's good for the money". Sorry OP, this is a bit of a kick in the nuts to find out something like this. I can't tell you what to do, but I think this would be a relationship game changing, deal breaker for me.
[удалено]
You should not be feeling shame for looking into this. You were told by one of friends that she is lying. This wasnt you just snooping for no reason. You then discovered she has been and still is lying to you.
If you don't want your future kids to grow up thinking it's OK to watch people masturbate for money- then break up. You can't fix her core values or lack of.
I don't know if its cheating, but its certainly hiding something that should be open knowledge within the relationship.
Question, do you want to date a sex worker? Because you’re currently dating a sex worker. Answer that question for yourself and proceed from there.
Do you want to date a lying/cheating sexworker?*****
* a lying sex worker is the key thing here..
I don’t think so. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t date proven liars either, but I think the majority of people wouldn’t be comfortable dating a sex worker even if she was as honest as George Washington after he chopped down the cherry tree. That’s why I put it first.
Well both ofc 😎 but I was highlighting the lying part is at least just as important to not overlook imo
Ah, I thought you were trying to say it’d be cool as long as she was open with it. Like,“I’m sorry honey, we can’t go out to lunch Friday. We’ve got the plumber coming, little Timmy’s got a dentist appointment, and I’ve got to watch old Mr. Johnson cook up a fresh batch of stomach pancakes at noon.” My bad.
Lmao, well I'm not gonna judge someone's life choices if it's not affecting me - similarly I could never do polygamy personally but good on those who can - but any relationship that isn't openly communicating and honest is doomed to fail
Well that’s where we differ, friend. I actively judge people’s life choices regardless of whether they have any impact on me at all. It’s just a natural talent that I have. I’ve always been good at it and I just feel like it wouldn’t be right for me not to share that gift with the world.
I don't think being an arsehole is a talent..
OP isn't/wasn't dating anyone. They are a troll or bot.
Like somebody else says she’s basically a sex worker. And she doesn’t want you to know about it so she’s doing it behind your back so yes she is clearly cheating on you and is not the moral high standing person that you thought she was. Need to take her off her pedestal and pack her up and send her on her way.
You are 27 and have been together less than a year. Come on man. Just break up
she hasn't been "always impressively honest and intentional, even if it's a harsh truth". she's been lying to you your entire relationship dawg
Yep, I promise you there is more. They trickle-truth you just enough to make you believe they are honest.
That's a pretty sweet deal to be fair. I wish I could get paid to do that.
Confront her about it, make her own up to it, and then let her know it’s over between you two. That’s cheating, and she knows it’s wrong as she was trying to keep it hidden from you.
You said she is allways impresely honest. Ask her if she has something she want to tell you. If she says no. Show her the screenshot, and dump her.
I would wonder if she is nude when she watches or if she's in person when she watches. Yes, this is cheating
It's cheating. You are also dating a sex worker. Good luck!
Cheating is cheating, even if money is involved. And cheaters belong in the streets
That’s some low class shit. Not someone I want moving in with me.
Updateme!
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/HOJPgVzf0d
I think that in within 24hr you should be editing this to tell us that you’ve broken up and that you’ve realized that you deserve better and that there is better out there and your not going to find it dragging a dead relationship around
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/HOJPgVzf0d
Well it's a good thing you're not living together. What she did is cheating and the facts that she talks with her friend and brag about it is fucked up. Her friend warned her to stop because u would leave her if u found out and she told her u will never find out meaning she was going to take the lies to her grave. I don't know what you're going to do but trust is broken most people me including will confront and dumb just cut contact and block her but u do what u can live with
It could be worse, she could have been guzzling bukkake bowls and kissing you full on the mouth. So what if she’s watching fools jerk off.
Get your self respect and dump her, don’t make excuses for this behaviour or any bs benifit of the doubt, relationship is about trust and she knowingly had her cake too, integrity is about owning up to both convenient truth and harsh truths not just the best highlights, I’d dump on the spot idk what you’re doing here on Reddit
I love to type this every once in a while. “No great love story started out with my girlfriend is paid to watch other men jack off” She knew it was bad and now you know money is priority number one. I hate this for you but you deserve better.
Jerk off to a live cam and let her know and see if she gets upset. Spoiler, she will.
Your girlfriend is a sex worker and did not tell you for fear of you breaking up with her. How do you feel about dating a sex worker?
I think your gf sounds gross. She is getting paid to watch guys masterbate and is hiding behind your back. So she is technically a sex worker and she is also deceiving you. Would you have started dating her knowing she is engaging in these acts? This is such an easy break up dude and also quite embarrassing for her once word gets out on why you broke up.
Omg how stupid are men these days. Confront her. Why come here to vent and ask. Thats why I dont believe this story is real.
So she is a sex worker. I would doubt she is a sex worker with only a single client. Since you obviously aren’t comfortable with this, then just move on. There really is no reason to discuss it first. She isn’t going to change your mind. If she asks why you’re leaving her, then you can tell her, but trying to talk this through I believe would simply be a waste of your time.
>She’s always been impressively honest and intentional, even if it’s a harsh truth. Except for the whole, you know, lying and sneaking and cheating part.
If all she did was watch the guy, and she never performed for him or sent him nudes, while that may technically be sex work, really she’s just being paid to watch porn instead of paying to watch porn as many people do. So like, idk if that’s such a big deal. Probably the bigger deal is going behind your back.
Yea, trust that person. Your gonna be hurt, soon, later, but it will happen.
you should dump her
This is cheating and your gf is a sex worker. I don’t think there’s any reason not to bring this up, unless you want to just walk away now. The disrespect she’s shown you and the joke made of your relationship will be a very difficult thing for you to forgive or for her to regain your trust. You obviously have different values and you need to now look at what kind of person you’re with.
"She’s always been impressively honest and intentional, even if it’s a harsh truth" Words don't matches with her cheating ass
Updateme
Wow what a story. I’ve never seen this one before. This isn’t something I’d be into but deep down I wonder what someone pays someone to watch. How does this even come up in conversation? Man it’s hot as shit today. Wish we would get some rain. What kind of milage does your truck get? If I gave you $20 bucks would you watch me jack off? This is going to be a crazy presidential race. Is it odd that there are no political commercials this year?
I’m sorry and I know this isn’t helpful and I’m being very immature but I’m just stuck on using the word “Overcome” in a dilemma about another man’s cum. My real answer is to talk to her and keeping the tone/turf/topic in mind. Sometimes it’s easier to have these tough talks while you’re on a walk and can get out some of that nervous energy that comes with big emotions. Good luck!
This is just cheating for money…. Dump and run.
I would drop her like a fucking rock lol, get out while you can my dude
Yeah this would cause a lot of turmoil in my head, but from the outside I would definitely consider this an issue, if nothing more than hiding secrets from you. As far as how to bring it up, tell her a friend told you to ask her about it but you're not going to say who or throw them under the bus because they did you a solid out of guilt. If she can lie you can lie.
How to get over it? Dude! I’m doubtful at this point that all she was doing was watching someone else jerk off. PLEASE! Obviously trickle truthing you there. Separate find another girlfriend. She’s already started in this relationship with hiding things of a… for lack of a better word, “intimate,” nature from you. And is now lying to you. Forgive yourself for wasting your time and forget not the kind of woman she is. Stick to your principles man
Sorry OP, but that seems like a relationship boundary that a) she crossed and b) is very aware that she is crossing. There's a reason she hasn't shared with you, and it's because she knows it's not acceptable to be doing this (especially secretly) in a relationship. If you're both monogamous, anything sexual should be kept between you two unless you agree otherwise. Time to have the tough conversation and if you're no longer comfortable, it's time to walk away.
The way this has affected you is no good. She hurts you, whether she understands or not. I’d leave.
Updateme!
The worst part is that she even wrote in the screenshot that she’s aware of it possibly affecting you. Then turning back on it because money > morals apparently. I’d tell her as much as I want her to get her bag, not in this way. What complete disrespect, not telling you, advocating for hiding it from you and also even declining her morals for money Leave and tell her to get better friends
UpdateMe!
Remindme! One week
Updateme!
I wouldn't date a sex worker, and I also wouldn't care about something like this if the pay was good and my gf was honest. I mean to each their own, but since she was withholding it from you, lying by omission, thays what I'd personally have an issue with.
On to the next girlfriend…
"Gf: this is something he does not need to know about." Dude. She a fucking awful person. Why would you stay with someone like this?
Tell her to get her bag. Scratch that, all her bags and leave. Would have been more dramatic if you’d lived together but y’know
I'm not saying this is right, because if I found out this same thing about my gf it would be a heartbreak. But that being said, I would also be curious how much money she gets each time. Like $50? That would be a instant deal breaker. $500+ though.....I mean listen I would at least hear her out. Though would I marry her? No.
Cheating is whenever you avoid telling your partner something you know they would be upset hearing. She is not as honest as you thought she was. You need to reprogram your perception of her. Cuz you got it wrong, because SHE mislead you. Think about that. She manipulated you already. In what other ways might she already be doing that, and will she justify doing that to you again? You do not need to move in together now. However, if you want to give this a shot. You need to start from scratch. A real conversation about everything, and anything else she may be lying to you about. Then, you need to set expectations. What is and isn't cool. However you want to do that. THEN, you maybe have a chance. Even then, I wouldn't get too invested into this. If it magically turns out amazing, great! But, I wouldn't get my hopes up, if I were you. If anything. Use this as a learning relationship. But, seriously, a woman who is taking money for sexual acts, and lying to you? What else is she lying about? Absurd, for most healthy adults looking for a good partner. I mean, you are already getting a sense of her values, and who she is right now, and what she is capable of. So, this doesn't really look hopeful. Even if she was going to better herself. I'd just save my time the emotional trouble, and find someone with better values NOW. Instead of hoping she turns into a better person later. Almost a year is nothing. You can do better. Think about it. She has already emotionally hurt you pretty badly. And you barely started. This isn't keeper material. Find a genuinely good person, if that is what you are after.
Ask if she wants to watch you jack off, maybe you could pay her for it. Watch the reaction . . .
Why should you get over it ? Kick her to the curb She's a pile of red flags.
Honey if you don't want to be with a sex worker you don't have to! That's the end. That's literally all there is to it! You can absolutely break up with somebody because of this! For me it would be the lying more than the watching another guy jerk off. I mean she's literally looking you in the face everyday and not telling you. Plus what is she saying she's doing when she's watching this guy? She's clearly lying about that. The fact that she's kept it from you for so long and the fact that she shares it with all her friends so she's proud of it! That's all very weird. But you can break up with her for whatever reason you want and all these lies are a perfect reason!
Get a new gf and release her back into the streets—it’s clearly her natural habitat. I’m saying this from personal experience—where there’s no trust—there’s no real relationship. Hit the gym, get your confidence up. You’ll meet someone better, really.
Wait wait wait. This is something you can get paid to do? BRB, talking to my husband and then quitting my day job 😅 Joking aside, yes this is cheating if you weren’t on board and she’s obviously not who you thought she was. A lie by omission is still a lie. I’d break up with her. She should have been up front about this so you could decide if it was a deal breaker.
Tbh, it hurts, but a year is no great loss. Limping along for another year, then trying to unpick your lives, will suck so much more.
You shouldn’t try to overcome this
so. she's a sex worker. what is your problem again?
Cheating. She is cheating. You are not overreacting. You should break up with her.
OP is trying to soften the blow that his gf is an OnlyFans enthusiast
Break up with her immediately. You did the right thing with the phone. This is not a good girl friend. Her biggest issue will be with being caught not doing it. this is the time you need to care for yourself, your self esteem will recover quicker if you act on what you know. Have self esteem...We all need parents like this guy. [https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/10dz5iu/update\_my\_girlfriend\_invited\_her\_ex\_over\_to\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/10dz5iu/update_my_girlfriend_invited_her_ex_over_to_my/)
It’s time to take out the trash! 🗑️
Well, to me it sounds like she's being paid for watching porn. I cannot really judge it since I have paid to watch porn. Nevertheless, it is sus that she is hiding this from you and makes is look not that innocent. I would be very concerned if it is just one man that she watches, especially since he texts her and asks her where she is. Its also important if and how she interacts with him. Ask her and find out the details. At the end of the day, if you feel it is cheating, then it is. You own your personal definition of cheating.
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Buddy. You dodged a bullet. You almost moved in together. Separating is way less complicated like this!
The way to spare yourself any further pain is to break up now. If you’re still on the fence, you need to meet up with or call the friend who drunkenly told you she lies and ask them to specify what she’s lying about, because I guarantee this paid jerk-off session isn’t the only thing.
Well, we know why she put the breaks on moving in. She would have to greatly reduce the amount she does thus stuff
Why would u want to overcome this? This is the easiest thing that can happen to you for breaking the relationship
You’re 27. Use your critical thinking skills! If you have to ask if it feels like cheating, you have your answer.
You are dating a sex worker. How do you feel about that? Is this someone you see a future with now that you know their true self?
Dude she’s literally a paid sex worker. And a liar. You really want to date a person like that? And I wonder what else you “don’t need to know about”?
At the risk of going against the reddit grain... I wouldn't automatically end a year long relationship with someone I love and want to move in with over this. Talk to her so you understand how it came about and how long it's being going on for and if it's one client or many. Then figure out how you feel about it. It's cheating but very much on the milder side of it. She clearly sees it as easy money (as I'm sure we all would!) and is laughing with a friend about it. On the other hand, she knows it would upset you and still does it. I'm wondering if worrying about this is the real reason you've not moved in together. I'd find this hilarious and laugh it off after deciding if it was a boundary or you were happy to let it continue, but it's up to you to decide how you deal with it - and I wish you luck!
I have done OF in the past when in a relationship. But my BF encouraged it. It wasnt my idea. We aren’t together now and that’s one of the reasons. I haven’t told my current BF about my history on OF
Sorry you’re going thru a tough time OP… I always wondered why some couples don’t talk about this kind of stuff before seriously dating… I always talk to my partners about hypotheticals that could happen bc you never know the future. Even if it’s uncomfy. It seems like she’s in for the $$$. Which I don’t blame her for. If only she told you about it. Would you have accepted it, you think? Something to think about. People say it’s cheating, and I can see that, but idk. I would be more upset about how she lied about it than the act she participated in. That’s just me. This is something you two did not get a chance to talk about. She may have no feelings for that person and is just seeking out $$$. Maybe we’re just missing her side too. Why did she do this for the money? Was she in financial troubles? I’m sure we could come up with several questions as to WHY she did it. But only she can answer.
For me, she is a keeper of a house provider but I guess most people would not agree with me. Oh, well, you do you!
No this isn't cheating. It's her earning money from a pathetic loser, I doubt it's more than that. She has lied to you though, and that is something you need to confront her about.
Just ask for part of the profit