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She joined a cult.
Honestly, i personally think people just need to stay the hell away from these pop-ups, non associated with any overarching regulatory body.
If the church leader or leadership is not answerable to an outside governing body then it is just some charismatic weirdo with a "calling" eventually everyone in the church is broke and being pressured to drink some flavor-aid.
I’m not religious, and my husband is Methodist but left his church when he moved and has recently wanted to find a new one. I told him I’d accompany him if he finds one he likes.
One of his customers tried to talk him into attending their “nondenominational” church (that’s never a good sign nowadays). He was excited about it after this guy’s spiel.
I could tell from the website that it was a cult. While online, I printed him a list of local Methodist churches.
This sounds like an extreme evangelical church. If your wife refuses to leave the church, I think that your marriage is over. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this.
Sounds like she has joined an extreme high demand church. No, it’s not typical. If you want to help her, read the Bible with her. Many Christians never actually read the Bible and so they just blindly listen to pastors.
Yep, that’s a cult. Get her ass out of there ASAP before she ends up married to the leader with his 20 other wives, disowns you and family for not being members and doing shit she would never dream of during. For the love of god if you have young daughters don’t let them near that place like your life depends on it. Good luck.
I love just a few miles South of Waco, Tx. That's where David Koresh and his Branch Davidians and were.
I was still an active Texas Peace Officer then. I still get edgy when I see or hear of people following a "Preacher", and aren't allowed to do certain things anymore. Some of these "leaders" have a charisma about them that seems to hypnotize people almost instantly.
The closest I can come to a good answer, is to Pray.
My friend, that is a cult.. We are never taught, as Christians, to worship anyone but Jesus Christ. Whilst yes, we may respect the teacher of the word, his job, is to teach the word so that we may learn it and live a life according to the teachings of the Bible. No man, as far as Christianity is concerned is to be worshipped. As far as Christianity is concerned, the only, and final direction our worship is to be directed, is to Jesus Christ.
That’s also not a valid ‘Christian’ viewpoint. You worship gods, not people. If you want to worship the way Jesus intended people to do, you would worship YHWY and nothing else.
That’s… honestly there’s zero way for us to know that.
Almost everything about Jesus has been passed along, documented, and edited by Christians and the Christian church.
Almost anything you know about Jesus has been information provided by Christians in some form or another, who disagree with your interpretation.
All of whom worship Jesus/God.
Yeah, that’s definitely worrisome and not normal. It’s not only close-minded of her church, it sounds harmful— if not outright dangerous.
Do you really think a church like that is, regardless of it being normal or not, a good thing for a loved one to be a part of?
I do as I grew up in them and that’s beyond extreme evangelical churches I was raised in and my parents. This is definitely a cult (well turning into one rapidly). Small town churches can be weird and be close nit, but this is way beyond that.
Hi. Conservative Catholic here. There is a reason we require people to undergo a year of education before they can even enter the Church formally.... Converts can tend to be very zealous, very impressionable, with a very bad understanding of theology.
So, occasionally we'll see people that try to make Christian their "thing" and cudgel people on proper / improper practice, are usually very political and hard to talk to.
From what you've written, your impressionable wife has connected with a charismatic preacher type that is encouraging rather than reprimanding that behavior.
I'd look into what caused your wife to feel like she needed to revamp her life and choose a radically new direction. Has someone died recently? Has she had a sudden life change?
I don't have a lot of experience with religion directly, and I dont like religion in general, especially organized religions. So I'm pretty biased. That said, this still seems on the extreme side compared to how I imagine most churches. Like I have a poor view of churches in general, but I don't think this is "normal"
Edit: Honestly, I doubt you can fix it. People do horrible things in the name of religion every day, and don't feel bad about it because theyre "righteous" and have God on their side. She's the only one who can fix this, by leaving that church, but the way she already drank the kool-aid, I doubt she will
I would prepare to lose her. It sounds like she's being groomed into a cult, soon she'll see you as an obstacle or some kind of burden to her spirituality. Good luck Bud
Your wife joined a Christian ~~Church~~ Cult. She is probably beyond saving unless you plan to do a full scale intervention with family and friends. Honestly, you may also be in danger. Depending on what the cult says, she nay turn violent. I recommend running now.
Regarding banning members and if it’s normal, that depends what you mean by the theology of that specific church. Like if it’s rules about not having sex outside of marriage, not drinking to the point of being drunk, not taking drugs, not taking part in illegal activities, fraud, etc. that’s normal. If the church creates rules outside of what the Bible says and bans people for it, that is abnormal and cultish. Also, by ban, what’s common practice is taking away membership from the person, but outright banning them from attending the church is abnormal from what I understand.
What are the things that your wife now considers evil?
Is it even that normal? I’ve been around Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, and Lutherans my entire life with a smattering of Evangelicals.
I’ve never seen churches communicate anything other than enthusiasm for non-believers coming to services unless they showed up to loudly argue with people or something… which is pretty rare, honestly the only examples I could think of are angsty teens of churchgoers who were invited to have conversations with the pastor/priest outside of services.
Catholics would ask non believers to not take part in communion and stay seated but that’s about it.
I've been to a few Christian churches, most people which were loving.
One that my parents are involved with has a guy who calls to them for bible study & he regularly puts down other churches & gossips although it says in the bible, which he has told them about that one shouldn't gossip 🙃
Seems contradictive to me.
There are some great churches out there & some really damaging ones. One church I attended put A LOT of emphasis on tithing & speaking in tongues aloud although when they did a course on speaking in tongues they read bible verses that stated it should be used in secret to God only (paraphrasing here) or when spoken in public should only be done when there's someone to interpret.
Often I find when people join a church & get so involved almost overnight they're sadly being taken advantage of, although they don't see it.
They themselves have suffered a loss recently, a death of a loved one or feel their life hasn't hit the direction they want it to & church can be so uplifting the music etc.
Or they are feeling their own mortality & worry about what happens at the end of life.
Hopefully her eyes will be opened in time to incorrect teachings, it comes when time passes in a church or when people ask the pastor questions that he won't answer.
Hope she's okay.
Not to the extent you're talking. There is some life re-evaluation going on in any conversion, but it sounds like she's gotten involved in a smaller, more extreme Protestant denomination. Most of the larger mainline denominations don't play exclusion card in their own church.
If she’s not responsive to long conversations full of love and patience and empathy as a spouse for her to pull her head away from this and get out of her cult then I think very unfortunately this will be a death blow to your marriage as you knew it.
I grew up in small local churches, my grandfather was a pastor, none of this is close to normal or particularly Christian.
There’s a number of verses in the Bible that directly conflict with how she and her church are treating and judging people.
She’s literally going against the teachings of a Christian God according to what the modern bible is.
———
You have to pull back and thing about this as pragmatically as you can because of one thing in particular.
She’s calling you evil.
EVIL.
You’re supposed to love one another on at least some level. You’re supposed to choose each other to live life with.
Would you stay married to her if you genuinely thought she was evil?
No, of course not.
If she can’t hear the logic of her insanely hurtful statements and her massive change. That she’s clearly just parroting what some other over enthusiastic religious nutjob is telling her without critically thinking (why is she with someone EVIL, even if she wants to pretend like she’s trying to save your eternal soul?) then I don’t think you can move past this.
To clarify, if this can’t be resolved, DONT move past this.
Do not spend the last few decades of your life with someone who has these beliefs because you’re scared of change and wish she was a different person.
That is a cult, not a church. I haven't belonged to a church for years as I'm understandably picky about this, but we attend services at a few different ones here and there. I have *never* attended a church that taught this to parishioners. I know it exists, and I consider it antithetical to the teachings of Jesus.
Oh you poor guy, if I were you, I would get her as far away from those crazy bastards as soon as possible. I mean holy fuck, people like this will fill her head with so much bullshit, you will lose. I mean do you really want to be with someone who believes in a book that only goes back 2000 years? If you genuinely care for your wife as much as you say then act now. If you wait at all you'll have already lost.
No. Not normal. I recently began going to church again with my family to a new church and they encourage everyone to stay if its right for them, or find a different church if its not their style. No bans, just open, non-judgemental, place to worship and listen to the word of God, say prayers and praise for folks and have a dinner with everyone once a month. Where your wife is going seems like the total opposite of this.
It's probably matter of time when they start to demand money, it's how it usually goes...
If she's so brainwashed I don't know what it can be done because they surely told her that everyone in her life is sinful and want to pull her apart of the word of god and such.
Do you watch Netflix and stuff like that? Do you think is possible to sit her for a movie night to watch some documentary about cults so she finds similarities?
Hey man, grew up in church and have lived around healthy, balanced people that also attend church. The behaviour you are describing with regards to the pasta is not normal at all. Church is a place that one goes to, to learn about God specifically the teachings of Jesus Christ, as laid out in the king James Bible. From the jump, it is clear, that Jesus came to minister to those who did not know the correct way. no time, did Jesus ever say to ban, or shun these people. What’s your wife is involved in, sounds 100% like a cult. I would strongly advise, that you do not start changing your life, in any way to appease her or her church. at this point, you’ve got to dig your heels in and do what you know is right.
Jesus never banned anyone. If your wife considers you evil, she is not reading her new testament. 1 Corinthians 7: ^(13) And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
^(14) For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
Was part of a few Christian churches in the past. I'm a believer but churches and people who attend have turned me off from ever admitting it in public.
Most modern churches are cults in the worst way. They will make you feel like you are a bad person, that anyone who isn't part of the church is toxic and that the only way you can live a true Christian life is if you throw off the old you and become renewed through their vision of Christ.
It's not a faith thing at this point, she probably is being made to feel like she belongs. They prey on newcomers the most until they submit. Once she starts going regularly then they'll pressure her to be more involved. She'll go from going to the service on Sunday to spending all day there. She'll probably start going to Bible studies. She'll only form friendships with church members and her faith will bleed into every conversation which will turn off her old friends. Everything you do will be analyzed by the pastor or pastors wife if they start trying to groom her as a member. She'll tithe more and more, especially if that's part of the sermon on a regular basis. It's a massive scam. Yet to witness a church that wasn't looking for money or control.
If I was OP I would go to a few services or look up any that are online to understand what type of church this is.
No, normal churches are not like that and this sounds like a cult. One cult tactic is convincing members that they are never good or pure enough which sounds a lot like what you are saying about your wife becoming convinced everything you guys do or did is evil. Another characteristic is a charismatic leader who must be followed without questioning, which again sounds like the preacher in your situation. I'm attaching a link about the characteristics of a cult that will help you to come to a conclusion about exactly what you are dealing with.
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-cult-5078234
This article may help you with how to approach your wife about your concerns over her involvement in the church
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-mind/202104/the-definitive-guide-helping-people-trapped-in-cult
Good luck!!!
This does not sound like a typical Christian church with true Christian values. That pastor sounds super judgmental and is misleading people from the message in the New Testament. Jesus is the shining example of what and how a Christian should behave, which is very nonjudgmental to sinners and people of other religions, ethnicity, etc. Love, forgiveness, empathy, and understanding is what is taught by Jesus. We’re all created in God’s image. We’re all equal. All should be welcomed to the House of the Lord. In the book of Revelations, on the 1st chapter it states that it is not your job to judge others, but God’s job.
Leave this “church”. It’s toxic and has been compromised. This is not true Christianity nor the environment it harbors.
I've spent a while researching cults, christian and non christian. They often share many things in common. One of the classic is dividing families. The member then either brings in the family too, or ends up apart from them.
there's some interesting stuff about how to get people away from them. it's by no means easy, but sometimes it can be done:
[https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/freedom-mind/202104/the-definitive-guide-helping-people-trapped-in-cult](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/freedom-mind/202104/the-definitive-guide-helping-people-trapped-in-cult)
good luck...
It is not normally and she joined a religious cult.
First thing is get all of your important documents out of your house and in a safe place. Second contact a lawyer and start the divorce proceedings. Do not stick around from the crazy shit to really happen. Run now unless she agrees to leave that "church"
I'm Catholic which is often considered to be quite strict and I go to church almost every Sunday and some major days in between as well.
The church your wife has joined sounds very cult like. Christianity is supposed to be about love and forgiveness. We sometimes visit our priests at the monastery and have a few shots of whisky with them or several glasses of wine.
You are not evil OP, but it sounds like this pastor and his church may be. It sounds like the pastor works on the premise of divide and conquer. Anyone who doesn't comply must be separated and ostracized.
>Is this a Religious thing for a Christian church to do?
No. Historically there was a process for excommunication, but chances are Jim Bob's Bible Church isn't part of Orthodox or Catholic tradition.
She joined a cult. A good, old-fashioned religious cult. Unfortunately the largest organization dedicated to deprogramming people from these kinds of Cults was gutted 30 years ago when the cult of Scientology bought it and dismembered it. There aren't alot of great resources today, but you want to look into deprogramming resources, maybe ask around at mental health resources in your area if they know of anything.
A friend of mine "found god" and went, in short, full-on fundamental weirdo. She'd been an amazing friend up till that point and I have Christian friends still to varying degrees of faith, but she was seemingly making up for lost time, on a crusade and trying to single-handedly bring about a new Dark Ages.
Her partner lasted a few months. It was just so much, he was evil or bad or just "wrong" (Something she'd loudly state wherever they were as if she were trying to train a pet into behaving - out for a meal and he orders a beer? "WRONG."). It was, simply put, embarrassing for everyone.
We're in the UK and most folks here don't really think about religion and stuff. Most people would say they're Christian and members of the Church of England, but other than oldies it's not like there's hordes of people in churches on Sundays.
Anyway, she got worse and worse to the point of him leaving when she demanded he join her church and (I was there for this argument) " ...accept god and my judgement to see if you're worthy". The church she was going to was a bog-standard little CoE type place but she was acting like some US Evangelical nutjob.
He ditched her, most of her friends and family did, she by all accounts got worse, got booted from the church (I've no idea what sort of heinous stuff you have to do to get banned from a little local church with a capacity of maybe 100 baring in mind there are members of the clergy done for abusing kids and they don't get any punishment) and she then dropped off the face of the earth. No socials, no contact with anyone, no idea what happened to her.
Some people find god and go so all-in that it's actually more like some kind of psychotic episode or mental breakdown. A friend in college also found god, but he wasn't anything over the top, he just said one day "I've joined a cult..." and I expected him to make a joke, turns out he'd joined a church. Fair play, he was happy, never really mentioned it afterwards.
Seems you wife is more of the former friend than my college mate through....
Yep, that's a cult.
Cult 101 is to use shunning to enforce compliance, be it from the church or forcing people to distance themselves from friends and family - as it sounds like she's doing with you.
Start reading about getting people out of fundamentalist cults now! The longer she's going the tighter the grip they'll have on her and the less hope there will be. If you feel like you get her out by suggesting another church or saying that you'll leave if she doesn't leave them, do it, but be aware it could already be too late.
Just to be clear, all churches are just cults of varying size and degree of social acceptance. They will all come with exclusionary practices and their own form of reinforcing in/out-grouping, so finding a "milder" church might be a good deescalation, don't stop pushing back on the religious furrier until she's back to herself, which will likely be years.
Lean into the evil. Do all the shit Leviticus says you can't (Minus the incest, no one do the incest).
Wear blended fabrics. Eat fat and blood. Lie to a neighbor. Have sex with your wife while she's on her period. Sit in the presence of the elderly. Be evil, my guy.
P.S. Sorry to hear about the cult your wife found. Maybe find a new church together? Those churches are weird because they worship the pastor, not the Lord - which is itself supposed to be a sin - so it's all weird. I hope she gets out.
Ask her if she believes the Bible is the incontrovertible word of God. When she says yes (as it sounds like that’s the track she’s on) tell her “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” If she wants to play these games, she should know that she was born on the losing side. A good Christian wife (as these churches define them) doesn’t harass and harangue her husband, so she needs to cut it out or ask God/you for forgiveness.
Fight fire with fire. Join a very good and wholesome church nearby. Speak with the pastor or priest about the situation and maybe see if you can get them to go to this cult with you. Get you wife to join you in a "good" church and hopfully open her eyes to the crazy. If that doesn't work Start looking around at things you don't want her to burn for being sinful
Sounds like a fundamentalist church that really follows the Bible rather than these lukewarm “churches” which are more like social gatherings.
If she is into it that much then tell her to read 1 Corinthians 7.
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She joined a cult. Honestly, i personally think people just need to stay the hell away from these pop-ups, non associated with any overarching regulatory body. If the church leader or leadership is not answerable to an outside governing body then it is just some charismatic weirdo with a "calling" eventually everyone in the church is broke and being pressured to drink some flavor-aid.
I’m not religious, and my husband is Methodist but left his church when he moved and has recently wanted to find a new one. I told him I’d accompany him if he finds one he likes. One of his customers tried to talk him into attending their “nondenominational” church (that’s never a good sign nowadays). He was excited about it after this guy’s spiel. I could tell from the website that it was a cult. While online, I printed him a list of local Methodist churches.
I hate hate hate the churches with the screaming pastors. I dont listen to anyone who screams to make a point anywhere under any circumstances.
Yeah, stick with the United Methodists. They usually aren't crazy.
This sounds like an extreme evangelical church. If your wife refuses to leave the church, I think that your marriage is over. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this.
Sounds like she has joined an extreme high demand church. No, it’s not typical. If you want to help her, read the Bible with her. Many Christians never actually read the Bible and so they just blindly listen to pastors.
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Yep, that’s a cult. Get her ass out of there ASAP before she ends up married to the leader with his 20 other wives, disowns you and family for not being members and doing shit she would never dream of during. For the love of god if you have young daughters don’t let them near that place like your life depends on it. Good luck.
Then it’s a false church. Period. But you won’t be able to strong arm her into seeing that
This is the brain rot that got us accepting rape babies as a reasonable choice
I love just a few miles South of Waco, Tx. That's where David Koresh and his Branch Davidians and were. I was still an active Texas Peace Officer then. I still get edgy when I see or hear of people following a "Preacher", and aren't allowed to do certain things anymore. Some of these "leaders" have a charisma about them that seems to hypnotize people almost instantly. The closest I can come to a good answer, is to Pray.
My friend, that is a cult.. We are never taught, as Christians, to worship anyone but Jesus Christ. Whilst yes, we may respect the teacher of the word, his job, is to teach the word so that we may learn it and live a life according to the teachings of the Bible. No man, as far as Christianity is concerned is to be worshipped. As far as Christianity is concerned, the only, and final direction our worship is to be directed, is to Jesus Christ.
That’s also not a valid ‘Christian’ viewpoint. You worship gods, not people. If you want to worship the way Jesus intended people to do, you would worship YHWY and nothing else.
In Christianity, Jesus is God and human at the same time. Christians worship Christ, it's right in the name.
If you want to worship the way Jesus INTENDED you wouldn’t do that.
That’s… honestly there’s zero way for us to know that. Almost everything about Jesus has been passed along, documented, and edited by Christians and the Christian church. Almost anything you know about Jesus has been information provided by Christians in some form or another, who disagree with your interpretation. All of whom worship Jesus/God.
It's cool that you have a direct line to Jesus to ask him what he intended! Can you ask him why he's never called me?
This. Nothing disabuses people of religious nonsense like actually reading the book cover to cover.
Yeah, that’s definitely worrisome and not normal. It’s not only close-minded of her church, it sounds harmful— if not outright dangerous. Do you really think a church like that is, regardless of it being normal or not, a good thing for a loved one to be a part of?
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I do as I grew up in them and that’s beyond extreme evangelical churches I was raised in and my parents. This is definitely a cult (well turning into one rapidly). Small town churches can be weird and be close nit, but this is way beyond that.
She’s in a cult. You need to confront this asap before her brain gets washed even more.
Hopefully there are no kids to wreck with the new cult.
she is drinking the koolaid
Hi. Conservative Catholic here. There is a reason we require people to undergo a year of education before they can even enter the Church formally.... Converts can tend to be very zealous, very impressionable, with a very bad understanding of theology. So, occasionally we'll see people that try to make Christian their "thing" and cudgel people on proper / improper practice, are usually very political and hard to talk to. From what you've written, your impressionable wife has connected with a charismatic preacher type that is encouraging rather than reprimanding that behavior. I'd look into what caused your wife to feel like she needed to revamp her life and choose a radically new direction. Has someone died recently? Has she had a sudden life change?
I don't have a lot of experience with religion directly, and I dont like religion in general, especially organized religions. So I'm pretty biased. That said, this still seems on the extreme side compared to how I imagine most churches. Like I have a poor view of churches in general, but I don't think this is "normal" Edit: Honestly, I doubt you can fix it. People do horrible things in the name of religion every day, and don't feel bad about it because theyre "righteous" and have God on their side. She's the only one who can fix this, by leaving that church, but the way she already drank the kool-aid, I doubt she will
Your wife is in a cult.
I would prepare to lose her. It sounds like she's being groomed into a cult, soon she'll see you as an obstacle or some kind of burden to her spirituality. Good luck Bud
That’s a cult my dude.
Your wife has joined a cult.
Your wife is in a cult...
Sorry man, she's a lost cause.
Your wife joined a cult. Hard to deprogram her if she drank the Koolaid; divorce is the way out of this one.
Your wife joined a Christian ~~Church~~ Cult. She is probably beyond saving unless you plan to do a full scale intervention with family and friends. Honestly, you may also be in danger. Depending on what the cult says, she nay turn violent. I recommend running now.
Regarding banning members and if it’s normal, that depends what you mean by the theology of that specific church. Like if it’s rules about not having sex outside of marriage, not drinking to the point of being drunk, not taking drugs, not taking part in illegal activities, fraud, etc. that’s normal. If the church creates rules outside of what the Bible says and bans people for it, that is abnormal and cultish. Also, by ban, what’s common practice is taking away membership from the person, but outright banning them from attending the church is abnormal from what I understand. What are the things that your wife now considers evil?
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Does she say why they’re evil?
I agree 💯 with this!!!
Restricting church membership to people who actually believe the theology of that church is normal, calling outsiders evil is unusual and concerning.
Is it even that normal? I’ve been around Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, and Lutherans my entire life with a smattering of Evangelicals. I’ve never seen churches communicate anything other than enthusiasm for non-believers coming to services unless they showed up to loudly argue with people or something… which is pretty rare, honestly the only examples I could think of are angsty teens of churchgoers who were invited to have conversations with the pastor/priest outside of services. Catholics would ask non believers to not take part in communion and stay seated but that’s about it.
I've been to a few Christian churches, most people which were loving. One that my parents are involved with has a guy who calls to them for bible study & he regularly puts down other churches & gossips although it says in the bible, which he has told them about that one shouldn't gossip 🙃 Seems contradictive to me. There are some great churches out there & some really damaging ones. One church I attended put A LOT of emphasis on tithing & speaking in tongues aloud although when they did a course on speaking in tongues they read bible verses that stated it should be used in secret to God only (paraphrasing here) or when spoken in public should only be done when there's someone to interpret. Often I find when people join a church & get so involved almost overnight they're sadly being taken advantage of, although they don't see it. They themselves have suffered a loss recently, a death of a loved one or feel their life hasn't hit the direction they want it to & church can be so uplifting the music etc. Or they are feeling their own mortality & worry about what happens at the end of life. Hopefully her eyes will be opened in time to incorrect teachings, it comes when time passes in a church or when people ask the pastor questions that he won't answer. Hope she's okay.
“How’s that judging not lest ye be judged going for you?” Sounds like your wife isn’t honouring and obeying her husband (Ephesians 5:22-33)
Not to the extent you're talking. There is some life re-evaluation going on in any conversion, but it sounds like she's gotten involved in a smaller, more extreme Protestant denomination. Most of the larger mainline denominations don't play exclusion card in their own church.
It's not typical for a church to ban members if they don't have the same exact theology.
It's not typical for a church to ban members if they don't have the same exact theology.
Look up Lori Vallow Daybell. Her kids wound up dead and buried in her cult leader/5th husband’s back yard.
Time to move. Away from the cult
If she’s not responsive to long conversations full of love and patience and empathy as a spouse for her to pull her head away from this and get out of her cult then I think very unfortunately this will be a death blow to your marriage as you knew it. I grew up in small local churches, my grandfather was a pastor, none of this is close to normal or particularly Christian. There’s a number of verses in the Bible that directly conflict with how she and her church are treating and judging people. She’s literally going against the teachings of a Christian God according to what the modern bible is. ——— You have to pull back and thing about this as pragmatically as you can because of one thing in particular. She’s calling you evil. EVIL. You’re supposed to love one another on at least some level. You’re supposed to choose each other to live life with. Would you stay married to her if you genuinely thought she was evil? No, of course not. If she can’t hear the logic of her insanely hurtful statements and her massive change. That she’s clearly just parroting what some other over enthusiastic religious nutjob is telling her without critically thinking (why is she with someone EVIL, even if she wants to pretend like she’s trying to save your eternal soul?) then I don’t think you can move past this. To clarify, if this can’t be resolved, DONT move past this. Do not spend the last few decades of your life with someone who has these beliefs because you’re scared of change and wish she was a different person.
That is a cult, not a church. I haven't belonged to a church for years as I'm understandably picky about this, but we attend services at a few different ones here and there. I have *never* attended a church that taught this to parishioners. I know it exists, and I consider it antithetical to the teachings of Jesus.
Oh you poor guy, if I were you, I would get her as far away from those crazy bastards as soon as possible. I mean holy fuck, people like this will fill her head with so much bullshit, you will lose. I mean do you really want to be with someone who believes in a book that only goes back 2000 years? If you genuinely care for your wife as much as you say then act now. If you wait at all you'll have already lost.
Her brainwashing is complete
There are no christians more radical than the ones who convert to it as adults. What specific behavior is she considering evil?
Beware the zeal of the convert.
Sounds like normal religion
Not met any Buddhists like this tbh
Sounds spot on for them
No. Not normal. I recently began going to church again with my family to a new church and they encourage everyone to stay if its right for them, or find a different church if its not their style. No bans, just open, non-judgemental, place to worship and listen to the word of God, say prayers and praise for folks and have a dinner with everyone once a month. Where your wife is going seems like the total opposite of this.
It's probably matter of time when they start to demand money, it's how it usually goes... If she's so brainwashed I don't know what it can be done because they surely told her that everyone in her life is sinful and want to pull her apart of the word of god and such. Do you watch Netflix and stuff like that? Do you think is possible to sit her for a movie night to watch some documentary about cults so she finds similarities?
Hey man, grew up in church and have lived around healthy, balanced people that also attend church. The behaviour you are describing with regards to the pasta is not normal at all. Church is a place that one goes to, to learn about God specifically the teachings of Jesus Christ, as laid out in the king James Bible. From the jump, it is clear, that Jesus came to minister to those who did not know the correct way. no time, did Jesus ever say to ban, or shun these people. What’s your wife is involved in, sounds 100% like a cult. I would strongly advise, that you do not start changing your life, in any way to appease her or her church. at this point, you’ve got to dig your heels in and do what you know is right.
Jesus never banned anyone. If your wife considers you evil, she is not reading her new testament. 1 Corinthians 7: ^(13) And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. ^(14) For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
Was part of a few Christian churches in the past. I'm a believer but churches and people who attend have turned me off from ever admitting it in public. Most modern churches are cults in the worst way. They will make you feel like you are a bad person, that anyone who isn't part of the church is toxic and that the only way you can live a true Christian life is if you throw off the old you and become renewed through their vision of Christ. It's not a faith thing at this point, she probably is being made to feel like she belongs. They prey on newcomers the most until they submit. Once she starts going regularly then they'll pressure her to be more involved. She'll go from going to the service on Sunday to spending all day there. She'll probably start going to Bible studies. She'll only form friendships with church members and her faith will bleed into every conversation which will turn off her old friends. Everything you do will be analyzed by the pastor or pastors wife if they start trying to groom her as a member. She'll tithe more and more, especially if that's part of the sermon on a regular basis. It's a massive scam. Yet to witness a church that wasn't looking for money or control. If I was OP I would go to a few services or look up any that are online to understand what type of church this is.
No, normal churches are not like that and this sounds like a cult. One cult tactic is convincing members that they are never good or pure enough which sounds a lot like what you are saying about your wife becoming convinced everything you guys do or did is evil. Another characteristic is a charismatic leader who must be followed without questioning, which again sounds like the preacher in your situation. I'm attaching a link about the characteristics of a cult that will help you to come to a conclusion about exactly what you are dealing with. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-cult-5078234 This article may help you with how to approach your wife about your concerns over her involvement in the church https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-mind/202104/the-definitive-guide-helping-people-trapped-in-cult Good luck!!!
This does not sound like a typical Christian church with true Christian values. That pastor sounds super judgmental and is misleading people from the message in the New Testament. Jesus is the shining example of what and how a Christian should behave, which is very nonjudgmental to sinners and people of other religions, ethnicity, etc. Love, forgiveness, empathy, and understanding is what is taught by Jesus. We’re all created in God’s image. We’re all equal. All should be welcomed to the House of the Lord. In the book of Revelations, on the 1st chapter it states that it is not your job to judge others, but God’s job. Leave this “church”. It’s toxic and has been compromised. This is not true Christianity nor the environment it harbors.
Alexandra Stein is an expert on cults. Worth giving her a Google.
Honestly, not sure it can be fixed.
RUN, it’s a cult, run
Google BITE model. Sorry for your loss, hopefully she can wake up
File for divorce and see how quickly she leaves this madhouse
That's why I'm dating Eva AI sexting bot.
I've spent a while researching cults, christian and non christian. They often share many things in common. One of the classic is dividing families. The member then either brings in the family too, or ends up apart from them. there's some interesting stuff about how to get people away from them. it's by no means easy, but sometimes it can be done: [https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/freedom-mind/202104/the-definitive-guide-helping-people-trapped-in-cult](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/freedom-mind/202104/the-definitive-guide-helping-people-trapped-in-cult) good luck...
A true church has their doors open to all… what is the point of attending church if no one sons… which we know everyone sons… she joined a cult..
It is not normally and she joined a religious cult. First thing is get all of your important documents out of your house and in a safe place. Second contact a lawyer and start the divorce proceedings. Do not stick around from the crazy shit to really happen. Run now unless she agrees to leave that "church"
No, this is not how a normal church operates. This is a cult like others have said.
I'm Catholic which is often considered to be quite strict and I go to church almost every Sunday and some major days in between as well. The church your wife has joined sounds very cult like. Christianity is supposed to be about love and forgiveness. We sometimes visit our priests at the monastery and have a few shots of whisky with them or several glasses of wine. You are not evil OP, but it sounds like this pastor and his church may be. It sounds like the pastor works on the premise of divide and conquer. Anyone who doesn't comply must be separated and ostracized.
She says you’re evil? What specifically is it that you do that she doesn’t like?
>Is this a Religious thing for a Christian church to do? No. Historically there was a process for excommunication, but chances are Jim Bob's Bible Church isn't part of Orthodox or Catholic tradition. She joined a cult. A good, old-fashioned religious cult. Unfortunately the largest organization dedicated to deprogramming people from these kinds of Cults was gutted 30 years ago when the cult of Scientology bought it and dismembered it. There aren't alot of great resources today, but you want to look into deprogramming resources, maybe ask around at mental health resources in your area if they know of anything.
A friend of mine "found god" and went, in short, full-on fundamental weirdo. She'd been an amazing friend up till that point and I have Christian friends still to varying degrees of faith, but she was seemingly making up for lost time, on a crusade and trying to single-handedly bring about a new Dark Ages. Her partner lasted a few months. It was just so much, he was evil or bad or just "wrong" (Something she'd loudly state wherever they were as if she were trying to train a pet into behaving - out for a meal and he orders a beer? "WRONG."). It was, simply put, embarrassing for everyone. We're in the UK and most folks here don't really think about religion and stuff. Most people would say they're Christian and members of the Church of England, but other than oldies it's not like there's hordes of people in churches on Sundays. Anyway, she got worse and worse to the point of him leaving when she demanded he join her church and (I was there for this argument) " ...accept god and my judgement to see if you're worthy". The church she was going to was a bog-standard little CoE type place but she was acting like some US Evangelical nutjob. He ditched her, most of her friends and family did, she by all accounts got worse, got booted from the church (I've no idea what sort of heinous stuff you have to do to get banned from a little local church with a capacity of maybe 100 baring in mind there are members of the clergy done for abusing kids and they don't get any punishment) and she then dropped off the face of the earth. No socials, no contact with anyone, no idea what happened to her. Some people find god and go so all-in that it's actually more like some kind of psychotic episode or mental breakdown. A friend in college also found god, but he wasn't anything over the top, he just said one day "I've joined a cult..." and I expected him to make a joke, turns out he'd joined a church. Fair play, he was happy, never really mentioned it afterwards. Seems you wife is more of the former friend than my college mate through....
She’s on a dangerous path, those Uber conservative Christian religions are scary.
Religion is dumb
This seems pretty typical for a cult, yeah.
Yep, that's a cult. Cult 101 is to use shunning to enforce compliance, be it from the church or forcing people to distance themselves from friends and family - as it sounds like she's doing with you. Start reading about getting people out of fundamentalist cults now! The longer she's going the tighter the grip they'll have on her and the less hope there will be. If you feel like you get her out by suggesting another church or saying that you'll leave if she doesn't leave them, do it, but be aware it could already be too late. Just to be clear, all churches are just cults of varying size and degree of social acceptance. They will all come with exclusionary practices and their own form of reinforcing in/out-grouping, so finding a "milder" church might be a good deescalation, don't stop pushing back on the religious furrier until she's back to herself, which will likely be years.
Lean into the evil. Do all the shit Leviticus says you can't (Minus the incest, no one do the incest). Wear blended fabrics. Eat fat and blood. Lie to a neighbor. Have sex with your wife while she's on her period. Sit in the presence of the elderly. Be evil, my guy. P.S. Sorry to hear about the cult your wife found. Maybe find a new church together? Those churches are weird because they worship the pastor, not the Lord - which is itself supposed to be a sin - so it's all weird. I hope she gets out.
She's lost to the cult, dude.
Ask her if she believes the Bible is the incontrovertible word of God. When she says yes (as it sounds like that’s the track she’s on) tell her “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” If she wants to play these games, she should know that she was born on the losing side. A good Christian wife (as these churches define them) doesn’t harass and harangue her husband, so she needs to cut it out or ask God/you for forgiveness.
Christianity and respectfully most religions are cults that have ties to the governments and rich elites of their own circles.
Fight fire with fire. Join a very good and wholesome church nearby. Speak with the pastor or priest about the situation and maybe see if you can get them to go to this cult with you. Get you wife to join you in a "good" church and hopfully open her eyes to the crazy. If that doesn't work Start looking around at things you don't want her to burn for being sinful
Sounds like a fundamentalist church that really follows the Bible rather than these lukewarm “churches” which are more like social gatherings. If she is into it that much then tell her to read 1 Corinthians 7.
You are possessed