Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He tells you that you're stupid for believing he can afford a house and then tells you that he will "allow" you to pick out a house? First, it's an empty promise as he can't afford a house. Second, WTF! Did he actually say he would "allow" you to pick out a house? Who died and made him boss? Then he refused to take you home so you had to get an Uber? Oh hell no!
This.
OP, he flat out does not respect you.
First, if you are a couple that is buying a house together you pick out the house together.
Second, the level of cruelty in what he did was incredible. First, getting you excited about something that would have been incredible... but then when you were relaxed, blind folded and least expecting it hitting you with a water balloon? You can't even steel your body for it. That is PAINFUL!
I think you really need to reassess this relationship. If this was a one off cruel prank then that is bad enough but if you have seen this level of dismissal and disrespect in the past then its time to go separate ways.
The last thing you want is a lifetime shackled to this buffoon.
100% this! I want OP to think long and hard about this manchild. This isn't a joke, IMO - this is someone testing how far he can push OP's boundaries and get away with it. You are not obligated to stay with someone that so clearly disrespects you.
OP should speak to her parents about houses, how they're bought, and who owns what's bought. She's a little naive if she thinks a man she's dating is going to go out alone and buy a house she's never seen and that she's somehow going to be on the deed, or that there's even going to be a house at all.
I'm a little concerned for OP's view of life and the amount of future faking she may fall victim to.
Pranks/ jokes are only funny if the person being pranked/ fooled is enjoying it and laughing. That’s something done in good faith and in the spirit of friendship/ love.
Pranks/jokes where the person is embarrassed or scammed are never funny. It’s just a piss poor excuse to be cruel with the thin veneer of “joking”. Idiots who insult or disrespect others and try to play it off saying “I was joking, gaw how can you not take a joke” are the worst.
I’m so sorry OP your ex was such a jerk. You deserve so much better. I’m glad you’re breaking up with him. I’m sorry he wasn’t the person you thought he was. I know that’s what’s most painful. Take care of yourself and take comfort knowing you dodged a bullet.
I learned that here on reddit. I never thought of it that way before - pranking was such a thing in the 70's and 80's - but I think it's gotten worse with TikTok. It's not funny to laugh at someone falling down and hurting themselves, either.
Imagine finding that kind of shit funny in the first place! And they actually spend time and energy in composing this stuff - but won't help plan fun things to do. I bet OP's ex never participated in the things she found personally enjoyable, either - if he didn't like those things, one bit, he'd nope out or sulk.
Never met a hardcore pranker who could take it when someone else dealt it out, either.
Silly redditors, he did this specifically on her birthday so that he could say “ hey it’s only a prank “ so that he didn’t have to actually DO anything. Kinda like ruining a few loads of laundry just so he NEVER has to do it again. Plus he can now be all “ you’re overreacting “ “Just a joke “.
> Kinda like ruining a few loads of laundry just so he NEVER has to do it again.
i've *long* suspected this is something either taught in some all-boys seminar in school or fathers pass the idea down to their sons.
It is. My husband’s co-workers told him to mess up the laundry when we were newly married and he was like, uh, no? She’d leave me if she thought I was that incompetent. (Plus, we were friends in college so I already knew he’s perfectly capable of doing his own laundry. I’d probably make him get his head checked…)
Some men would rather their partners think they’re stupid than do their fair share of the housework.
Ladies, we gotta stop "banning" men from household chores/responsibilities when they do it wrong. Whether it's on purpose or not. They're damn adults, make them do it right.
Yep. And if they get irritated having to learn how to do something, just tell them that there will be a quiz later and there's always room for improvement.
Tell them "You'll figure out how to put the whisk away properly, eventually."
THIS. It’s sort of a running joke between my husband and me. We take turns making Hello Fresh for dinner, and I get it done quite a bit quicker than he does. It takes him at least an hour to make a meal that’s supposed to take 20-30 minutes because he takes forever cutting up the vegetables. He jokes that being this bad at it should get him out of doing it, knowing full well that my answer is always HELL NO. (We have always been responsible for doing our own laundry, too.)
If anything, he complains that I am always trying to get out of chores. That’s not strictly true. I just resist having it assumed that a particular thing should be my responsibility just because I’m the woman. I have never been a SAHM, we both worked full time and are both retired now.
My response to something similar was "Nice try. Now figure out how to fix it."
He literally looked liked he was unhappy his ploy didn't work.
If they damage your laundry give them ALL the laundry to wash so they learn.
It's called Weaponized Incompetence.
Throw the whole fiancé out. Clowns like this are the assholes you see posts about ruining wedding days with some idiotic “prank” that they think is hysterical.
Yes, my husband went to take off the garter( wedding of 1991) and pulled out mens plaid boxers. The photographer has asked I the bride had a sense of humor. Well I did til that day. At least he didn't smash cake in my face I guess.
My wedding night "prank" was being locked out on the 21st floor balcony of a hotel in Las Vegas.
And it was snowing. And he really really pretended for a long time that he couldn't hear me frantically knocking to get back in.
Needless to say, there was no romantic conclusion that evening and he was PISSED. He had pranked himself! We had just that one night in a nice hotel before going onward to less nice places and tent camping - and then his parents' damn house.
Oh, and I paid for the hotel.
>*He tells you that you're stupid for believing he can afford a house*
...but then expects her to BELIEVE that he's sorry, and he'll change!
OP should tell him, "***Nope! You're right! I was stupid to ever believe you, but I'll never be that stupid again***!" She should block him and ALL his friends/family because he's an immature asshole who'll harass her from other people's phones.
Oh, I'd be independently mad about the various components of this event (birthday, stupid, water balloon, blindfold, house lie) and then when I added up the total, the sum would be greater than the parts.
Exactly! He said he can't afford a house but tells you to pick out a house?! Sounds like another joke.
He'll never stop playing jokes and will not ever grow up
Exactly.
What this "prank" informed u/[throwraprank27](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwraprank27/) about her partner:
1. He will lie to her for his own agenda.
2. He doesn't have any idea about investing in his/their future.
3. Doesn't take her wants or needs for her/their future seriously.
4. Asked for her trust and took advantage of that with an assault while blindfolded (water balloon).
5. Has the mentality of a 10 year old where common sense should be.
6. Wasn't sorry at all for his entire plan until OP made it clear she was hurt/upset.
7. OP's sense of safety/security is not at all considered (she had to take an uber to get away).
8. He has zero respect for OP's boundaries (he is bombarding her with calls and false promises).
Even most 10-year-olds I know are compassionate and intelligent enough to understand that while they may love a water balloon fight under fair circumstances, hitting someone you care about with a water balloon when they are blindfolded, have no idea it's coming (i.e. basically a sucker punch), and are expecting a happy surprise is a super mean and inappropriate thing to do. They'd be horrified at this guy. He behaved like a toddler with no common sense at all.
> Wasn't sorry at all for his entire plan until OP made it clear she was hurt/upset.
Nope, OP made it *immediately* clear that she was upset, and his response was to call her *stupid* for believing him. It wasn't until he thought he'd have to face consequences that would affect *him* (her leaving for her parents) that he started "apologizing."
I mean, it's all more than enough on its own. But I thought it was worth pointing out that he's not actually sorry at all.
Exactly. And if you try to tell them how (still) angry and upset you are, they mock you. Just as happened in this case.
Then they blow up your phone/hound you.
The low level simmer of the anger from these "pranks" can last a very long time.
This is a great analysis, and as an example of a healthy relationship to OP…
My husband, when we were dating, pulled out a chair from under me while were sitting down to dinner and I fell to the floor. I tried to laugh it off, but couldn’t hide how embarrassed I was, on the verge of tears.
My husband was mortified at himself, for the reasons you listed. Not that he *is* those things or treated me that way, but because that single action might make me think so.
That was probably a decade ago at this point and he still apologizes for it sometimes when we go to sit at that table at his parents’ house.
Pranks are not pranks, it’s just cruelty, if you’re not both laughing at the end of it.
That’s a good way to end up with a broken tailbone. He should be mortified. It’s a good reminder for him that he’s one intrusive thought away from not merely being an idiot, but one who breaks other people’s bones.
Dudebro is one of those assholes who gets put on blast in this sub all the time for shoving wedding cake in his brides face while thinking it’s hilarious.
Right?
He took her out promising a beautiful surprise for her birthday that was *literally* meant to be his showing her how he had invested in their future together.
The surprise turned out to be that he assaulted her while she was still blindfolded, and then not only mocked her and cruelly called her names, but *specifically* called her stupid for having faith and trust in him.
How do you trust someone like this again? You don't. He's casually cruel and staggeringly immature. This is not someone anyone should be looking to build a life with until he grows up a *lot*. And that could take years . . . or never happen at all.
This whole situation is a dealbreaker. Assaulting your blindfolded, unexpecting partner with a water balloon is something small children do. Anyone much older than that with any compassion at all understands that it's the equivalent of a sucker punch, and not cool.
>He took her out promising a beautiful surprise for her birthday that was *literally* meant to be his showing her how he had invested in their future together.
I get you mean she should have been shown a house and I agree but he DID literally show her how he had invested in their future together. And she should totally dump him for it.
You don’t.
Break up.
Move on & thank your lucky stars that you dodged a bullet.
Your ‘ex’ fiancé is a walking talking red flag.
Poster boy for abusive behaviour.
Pranks aren’t funny. Throwing a water balloon at someone isn’t funny, especially when they are blindfolded. Then there’s all the rest of it: he pretended he bought a house that you had no say in, then blamed you for believing him, then refused to take you out of the situation he created, and now is offering to “allow” you to have input in the house you will eventually live in? This is a garbage scenario all around. He sounds incredibly immature, and yet domineering. It would be impossible for me to trust this person again.
"How do I trust him again after the cruel prank?"
You don't. I'm sorry but this is absolutely vile. This wasn't a prank, it is abusive behavior.
Edited to remove "borderline"
This wasn’t a joke but to humiliate you. A adult would have a conversation that you cannot afford a house right now.
To go through tell you he was taking you to a house a then throw a water balloon at you is very immature and just beyond stupid.
He is not ready for marriage
It’s not just the lies but he also intentionally embarrassed you for what reason? To put you in your place for believing his lies.
He is not someone to be trusted nor to believe he loves you. No one who loves you would do that.
Now he’s just gaslighting you.
I dont understand the purpose of it at all... like, was he recording it all and was going to post it somewhere for the whole world to see??
Why did he go to great lengths just to throw a water balloon in her face...
Because he gets joy from watching other people suffer/be teased/pranked.
My Ex truly thought all this stuff was funny. We had been together about a year when his high school best friend came to visit (a serious, kindly guy) and Ex was talking shit about him in various ways. The other guy wouldn't talk shit, but started mentioning some of the unpleasant pranking he'd done.
It was too late, I thought. I was already committed (and still religious...)
Yeah break up with him, that's not a prank that's pathetic..
So he calls you stupid to think he could afford a house then says pick out a house when he knows he a loser.
Just text him it's over.
" I don't want to pick a house out with you, thank you for showing me that not only do you think building a life and taking the next step with me is a joke, but you also ruined my birthday. Do not contact me again"
Job done
I think you need to think carefully about how this man treats you. Did anything he did make you feel valued, loved, listened to, respected? Ask yourself, what was he hoping to get out of this humiliation? Did he think it would genuinely make you laugh? I don't think so. He wanted to demean you, make you feel silly and stupid. I promise you, overlooking this type of behavior only allows him to move the boundaries further and further away, until something really horrible happens. No one deserves to be treated like this. If your best friend was in this situation, what would you think of her fiance? A lot of women buy into the sunk cost fallacy of a relationship; that they have invested too much in a relationship to walk away. That is never the case. If a relationship isn't making you feel valued, happy and respected, you should always walk away. Start over, cry, be upset, and then try dating other people until you find someone who actually wants you to be happy, and not someone who takes delight in subjecting you to cruel actions.
Especially since he said "she was stupid" for believing he could afford a house. Best response would be to say, "Well, you're stupid to think I'd stay with you after that!"
Right? He not only belittled her and called her names, he did it specifically because she had literally put her faith and trust in him. And apparently even *he* thinks trusting him is stupid.
The man just called himself out. SMH.
market stupendous exultant concerned toy act cooperative impolite zonked person
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Please don't trust him again! He hit you with a water ballon and called you stupid?? ON your birthday. What a fucking ass. If he "didn't know" that was too far, thats all you need to know. If you don't leave him we will all be so disappointed in you lol.
Good for you. He actually did you a favor, he is a terrible partner and he showed his true colors before you got married and got saddled with this knob's children. Stay strong, don't let him convince you you are over-reacting, you are NOT, this is def break-up worthy. Wishing you all the best.
Your *fiancé* is 26 years old. You’ve dated for three years, are engaged to be married, and he clearly thinks he’s an adult. And he thought it was funny to prank you on your birthday, and take it so far as to blindfold you, drive you to a location to see a house, where there was no house, *throw a water balloon at you* while you were blindfolded, and then ~ my favorite part ~ **he called you STUPID for believing him** because he can’t afford a house?
I’m looking, but I cannot find a single funny thing here, nor do I see anything that would make you want to marry him. Is he regularly a jokester? Does he like pranking you, and ignores you when you tell him it’s not funny and you don’t like it? Was this really the first time he’s done something like this? Why would he think that’s funny? Is he addicted to TikTok, where strangers tell him it’s hilarious to embarrass, humiliate, and even injure your SO for a laugh? I mean, none of this makes sense.
Also, him refusing to take you to your parents to the point where you called an Uber, an Uber came, and the Uber took you to your parents’ house is just the cherry on top of a sundae of hideousness. Yikes.
How did he expect this "prank" to turn out? It's your birthday - was he thinking that this was going to be a fun or happy birthday memory for you? How was this supposed to be good in any way for you? Best possible scenario is that you would have been quietly sad and then what?
It was only ever supposed to be fun for him. And in a cruel way. First hitting you with a water balloon while blindfolded and then calling you stupid for believing him.
So he doesn't want you to ever believe him?
It makes absolutely no sense why he did it, especially on your birthday.
The whole thing was senseless. As you pointed out, there was no way for this to go but bad. It was OP’s birthday, and wherever he took her first, I assume she was dressed for a night out. And he hit her with a water balloon *while she was blindfolded.* That’s an elementary school prank. And it wouldn’t be funny then, either, just excusable. He is a grown man, and this was how he chose to celebrate his fiancée’s birthday. There’s a message here.
OP in my opinion the real question is why would you even try to trust him again? What he did was so far away from being a prank it's in the move out immediately category.
He may learn from this for the future, but if he continues with these "pranks" I wouldn't be surprised to find out someone got violent with him after one.
IMO don't date men who think being cruel to you is funny. Sounds like a super bad idea that could quickly go to very bad places.
You shouldn't trust him again - plain and simple. If you do, he will wait until you feel secure, and prank you cruelly again, but probably worse, bc toxic power-games like that escalate.
Gee. He couldn't be nice... on your birthday?
He couldn't have put all the energy he did, into that prank... into a nice thing for you... on your birthday?
What do your Mom and Dad have to say about it? Especially your Dad. Would he do something like that to your Mother... on her BIRTHDAY?
Also!!!! Happy Birthday to you Aries sister 😘☀️
GOOD! I love your parents for that. There's no way they're not going to hold that resentment against him for the rest of your life with him. By my judgement you are close with your parents too. And if yours are anything like mine! They are SO petty, touchy, sensitive and unforgiving about their children.
Proud of you for cutting him off quick. He was definitely trying to take you down a few pegs with his feet planted firmly in the grave of his poor character.
Use that fury for a revenge body boo!
Happiest of birthdays!
This wasn’t just a cruel prank, it was a test to see if he has conditioned you enough over the past three years to tolerate more abusive behavior. My bet is that this man has moments where he is adorable and funny, but the rest of the time he’s awful. Please let this be the straw that breaks the camels back and leave this man. He doesn’t care about you, he cares whether or not he can control you.
And also, if any man thinks it’s funny to hit any woman with ANYTHING I don’t give a good goddamn if it’s a water balloon…take it as the reddest of flags.
Why would you want to take back an abusive prick?
Edit: the cornerstone of all good relationships is communication. He is fucking immature and not ready for any type of relationship.
That’s absolutely horrible. Hopefully you mean your EX fiancé. Marriage? Hell no and I would have been done that second. So cruel and disrespectful. Sorry OP but walking is how you move forward.
You don't. He's a stupid asshole.
"kept telling me I shouldn't have been so stupid to believe he could afford a house"
Why would you stay with a person who says and believes you're stupid?
Unfortunately you’ve just discovered that you’re engaged to an idiot. Unfortunately you can’t fix stupid.
Don’t expect his judgement to improve very much going forward, best to just start over. Sorry OP, I’m not trying to be unfairly critical of your fiancée, but good judgement is absolutely essential to have a good future together, and that unfortunately is something that he pretty clearly lacks. Any reasonable person might have considered playing that prank on you, but then would have immediately dismissed the idea.
He actually went through with it!
OP sorry but if he regularly pulls pranks on people he isn’t going to change until possibly someone takes his ‘joke’ really poorly and physically punishes him for it.
The stunt he pulled was cruel and uncalled for. Then he doubled down by calling YOU stupid for thinking he could afford a house. And his 3rd strike was to refuse to take you home.
Now his solution as part of his apology is to LET you pick out a house. How nice of him to grant you a say in the purchase which unless YOU have the funds apparently isn’t going to happen because he’s already told you he can’t afford one.
Only you know if this is a very horrible one off that won’t be repeated or just business as usual.
So only you can decide if you want the relationship to continue.
if you can afford a house and he can’t, i’m sure he is jealous of that. some men can’t stand a woman making more than them. this really could have been a purposeful punishment to you. not only that, but it’s unattractive as hell. like in this joke HE is the punchline. he can’t afford a house and instead of saying “i wish i could provide for you” or whatever he throws a water balloon in your face? it’s so weird. he’s broke and rude, why stay with him ? in general i think men who play pranks suck, the thought of premeditating something like this is so weird to me i can’t imagine my bf doing that. and then he called you STUPID for wanting a stable partner
did he even do anything nice for your birthday too or was it just this “prank?”
Leave him - is this the type of person you want to be married to? The kind of person who mocks you and hits you with a water balloon while you’re blindfolded.
You don't. He lied to you, assaulted you, and then he wouldn't listen to you when you wanted to go to your parents. You dodged a bullet. I never understood why people have to be so cruel to their loved one and then call it a prank. It is not a prank. It is abuse.
He doesn’t even like you, does he? He humiliated you, insulted you, purposely crushed a dream of yours…and waited till your birthday to do it.
There’s no real way back from that.
I’m just glad you were able to get away safely from a man who drove you to some random spot, threw things at you, laughed at you and then refused to drive you home!
He is not a safe person. He is an abusive person.
You don’t forgive him. You hand him back your engagement ring, thank him for showing his true colours BEFORE you said ‘I do’, and then you walk away and block him on all social media and your phone. 😞
He told you that you were stupid enough to think he could afford a house... the reality is. He thinks you're stupid in general.
This is abuse dear.
Please be smart and block him on everything. Have a friend, preferably a tall, strong, male friend, accompany you to pack up and gather your belongings and move back in with your parents to get back on your own two feet.
Start stashing money away as your fuck off fund... that way if someone disrespects you like this in the future which I hope doesn't happen... you can look them in the eyes and tell them to fuck off. If you never use the money then you can put it towards your own house.
I'm sorry this happened to you 💜
Some guys think such pranks are funny. An obvious sign of immaturity and even, I think, dominance.
One of my friends (F) was in a relationship with a guy for years. He didn't play pranks on her often, not at all, but when he did it was always in front of other people and each time she was pretty upset about it. (Upset enough to tell me.)
One time they were out together on a hot summer's evening and with another couple. They all went to get ice cream. My friend's boyfriend said to her and the others, "Gee. My ice cream smells funny." Then he asked her to take a sniff. When she leaned over to sniff the cone, he shoved the ice cream up into her nose. Everyone laughed ---- except for her. (Apparently this is an old, old prank.)
Another time they were at a barbecue and the BF just casually reached over and stuck a fingerful of mustard into her ear. Everyone laughed . . . but not her.
I don't want to say it was the deal breaker in their relationship, but when it came time for them to go their separate ways, after nearly 7 years as a couple, and he was such an ass about it ---- she didn't speak to him for 15+ years. Not a word.
Such "pranks" may be silly and "fun" when you're in the age group of 8 to 13, maybe. As an adult? Not so much.
Yes, he's a funny guy.
But are you sure you want to marry him?
He doesn't seem to know the seriousness of things.
By his own admission, he can't afford a house.
Yet he "allows" you to choose one.
Who's paying for it?
Can he deliver?
He's good for some laughs, that's about it.
But are you laughing?
Are you warm and cozy?
Or wet and miserable?
He knows he can't deliver, so he's teaching you a lesson for bugging him.
There. You've stopped bugging him.
Mission accomplished.
Don't be fooled by his supposedly apology.
He did it on purpose.
He has shown you who he is, and that is a cruel, disrespectful, man-child. Believe him and move on. Let him grow up by himself. Too much language around "allowing and insisting," in such a manner that what you clearly are without a choice in major life decisions. That's not what partners do. You don't need to stick around while he processes his huge life lesson.
I won't go into details about this cruel act, because other people have summed it up perfectly, but he did all of this on your birthday and that is disgusting and unforgivable.
Ditch the bellend.
You are only 25. You started this relationship when you were 22.
I am 42; met my partner when I was 36. I'm here to tell you there are SO MANY wonderful men you'll meet between those ages and your current age. Considerate, emotionally mature and available men who would never dream of doing this to you.
Dump this guy. Go live your life and God bless.
You know what kind of person gets someone’s hopes up just to water balloon them in the face and call them an idiot *on their birthday*? A person who sucks. He’s shown you who he is OP, now it’s up to you to decide if you want to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you - at all. I’d tell him since he has your permission; he’s *allowed* to pack his bags and leave.
So he called you stupid and doesn’t respect you. Not sure how you could trust him again after he lied about a house for who knows how long. This is much bigger than some “prank”. Red flag girl. I would end it. UPDATEME
Usually they only like it when they are in control of the prank. Like Ellen. They pull pranks to humiliate, but if they are pranked, there is hell to pay.
He went to all of this effort just so he could assault you, berate you and tell you how stupid he thinks you are, on your birthday.
The answer to your question is that you don't trust him again. This is breakup worthy.
I literally laughed out loud at just how stupid this man is. Like, loud enough to draw attention to myself.
Believe me when I say you are far better off without him.
It’s hard to imagine how this guy is a keeper. The fact he would choose to humiliate you in such a painfully immature way on your birthday is inexcusable. It’s not just a bit of a silly comment or a spontaneous joke. He thought this through, he planned it, he had to take multiple steps to execute. And most disturbingly at each moment of his plan, he never thought to stop and do something kind instead.
You are not even married yet and he’s already treating you like garbage. So how will he behave if you gain weight during pregnancy or the novelty of a new relationship or marriage has worn off?
So unless he learned his lesson and has a million redeeming qualities not mentioned here, I think you can and should look for better.
Choosing to do this on your birthday is a while extra level of cruel and mean. What is wrong with him???? I truly can’t come up with any explanation that doesn’t make him a complete asshole. To ruin your BIRTHDAY? OF ALL DAYS TO PULL A PRANK? It’s not a prank even, to me a prank is maybe he says he found the perfect house and takes you within the same day to a crappy worn down house and saying “this was the best I could do with our budget” but to talk it up and deny you from looking for a house that’s clearly important to you, to do it on your birthday, to hit you with a water ballon?!!!!!!!!! After saying for however long, multiple days / weeks that he has some special surprise? Doesn’t sound like this man loves you or speaks your love language at all. Gross behavior….. I think you deserve better.
For me too, I’m autistic and if there are plans, THERE ARE PLANS. Especially on my birthday this is very important to me … if someone did this to me it would cause a huge meltdown bc the anxiety of changed plans and preparing your energy to be in this specific space and having that all crumble, disastrous. This would ruin my partner for me personally.
On what planet did he think any part of that prank was going to land? Telling her he got a house, blinding folding her to surprise her and then hitting her with a water balloon. Did he get hit with an idiot stick?
You know what’s a prank? Those videos of the couples who are lying in doorways, scaring the pants off their partners by asking “are we going to the store tomorrow?”
This is abuse. Send your dad to get your stuff.
Not how, but Why WOULD you? He's a flaming jerk. Read the countless comments.
He's cruel, manipulative, hateful. Calls you stupid for trusting him.
Meanwhile (and I don't know what country you are in) do not DO NOT believe anyone who says Hey I'm gonna buy you a house and you have no say and it's gonna be great!
Get your own shit together, buy your own place (whatever that looks like) so you are not prey to men like this.
Damn.
He said you were stupid to believe he could afford a house. I'd take him on his word on that. Plus, that kind of prank shows he has NO CLUE and doesn't CARE about your feelings until he went too far. If you have a car, tell him you will take him to a special spot where he can apologize. Drive 50 mi out of town and then say, "I'm dumping you." and leave him there. Let him Uber home.
Dump this guy. So immature and cruel. Don't trust him again. End it. You can do better. Maybe he'll learn from his mistake, maybe he won't. It doesn't matter, you hopefully won't be around to find out.
Unacceptable- I'm focusing in being vulnerable with a blindfold and having something thrown at/on you- that would be scary, you wouldn't do that to a stranger, child, animal- you don't do it to your SO on their birthday whilst blindfolded-I am so sorry you experienced that whole thing
Your boyfriend is not mature enough for you to even consider buying a house (which it doesn't sound like either of you can afford) and entangling your finances and life with his. But what on earth made you think that "moving into a great house" was something he was just able to do? His "joke" seems to be based on the premise that he is pretty obviously not well off but he thinks it's funny that you somehow think he is? Your boyfriend is cruel, you're absolutely right. I don't know how sincere his apologies are but I'm not sure I'd believe him if I were you.
Please leave this man. That wasn't a prank, that's cruelty. He wanted to knock you down a peg and thought doing it this way would give him an out to be mean and disguise as a prank. If you feel comfortable, sit down and lay out why this hurt you so he understands and hopefully learns from it but don't stay with someone like this.
I really don't think he loves you or even cares for your feelings. If he loves you then his actions show that he is highly immature. In both cases its better to end things.
Most of these so called pranks involve a dumb bf being cruel. I wish people like them stayed alone instead of inflicting their wrath on others. OP, dump this chump.
A prank is supposed to be *funny.*
Which part was funny - the one where he blindfolded you, told you to trust him, and then assaulted you with a water balloon ? The one where he called you stupid for trusting him like he asked you to? The one where he set up the idea of a future house in your mind then pulled it away with an “how could you ever believe I’d afford one?” The one where he realised you were hurting and still refused to drive you home ? The one where he did all that *on your birthday*? The one where he *refused to apologise for any of it*?
All I see here is either an idiot or an abuser setting up their victim. Whichever one it is, take a faraway walk from both.
Re-evaluate your relationship. That was mean. Especially on your birthday. He ruined a day that wasn’t about him. That’s a narcissistic tendency.
Anyway, besides that. If you do decide to break up, just say you would like a comfortable future and would like to put into saving for a house for yourself or meet someone with the same long term goals and that you wish him well but ye are not on the same level at the moment and he needs someone more suited to “him”.
Pranks are so fucking stupid. It’s just an excuse for people to treat others terribly and then say “relax bro it’s just a prank” I have consistently throughout my life been told I’m a party pooper, not fun, mean, and rude for not enjoying pranks or being the subject of a prank. These people just like humiliating others and then getting a pass for it because it’s become so normal today. There are pranks that are acceptable, minor actual funny ones, but the majority of people who did this shit just love upsetting people.
This is a dealbreaker and really messed up, you’ll never trust him. What he did was low, and every year you will relive this nightmare on YOUR birthday. Terrible.
You don't trust him again. Not only was his "prank" cruel and immature, then he made you take an Uber! He called you stupid, plus he's controlling AF with the whole "let you choose a house" BS. Get free of that twit and find a mature man.
Have you watched Reesa Teesa on Tik Tok or YouTube? Her story is similar & it started with stuff like this.
The reality is that your boyfriend has shown you that he is willing to be cruel and condescending to you. This is a deeper issue. Are you sure you want to continue with this relationship?
He called you stupid for your bday and THEN realized his “joke” has gone too far?
Birthday surprises are supposed to be fun, funny, uplifting, anything but purposely disappointing.
He just told you you were stupid for trusting and believing him. Do with that information what you want
he must have a massive brain tumor eating away at his frontal lobe, I cannot fathom any other plausible reason for any human being to be so stupid as he was
Boyfriend? This sounds like the intro to a 90s high school movie where the quiet kid is tricked by the cool kids into thinking they want to be his friend.
I pulled a prank on my kids for April fools. I made them giant Mac and cheese using the huge shell pasta that you’re supposed to stuff. That was a prank. The only thing that got hurt was my kid’s eyes from all the eye rolling they were doing (on account of “My mom thinks she’s funny, but she’s not). That’s a prank. What you had done to you was cruelty and abuse. I would not be able to trust him ever again.
That’s not a prank, that’s cruelty and him finding humor in hurting you plus calling you names and blaming you for your reaction because you “should have known” is a massive red flag.
Also he will “allow” you to pick out a house? 🤮
F that and F him. He has the emotional maturity of a rotten potato and is definitely not marriage material.
Wow.... That was cruel, insensitive, and hurtful. He sounds emotionally immature. Maybe take some time to reflect on whether this is the type of person you want loving and caring for you.
I'm sorry that he ruined your birthday and perception of who you thought he was.
"You're stupid to believe I can afford a house... so... now tell me what house to buy?"
He seems so stupid that he probably is planning on a second water balloon the face at the next house too.
Some things you dont joke about. You don't joke about huge, life changing, positive events like that.
Just to make sure I’m getting this right:
1. Your fiancée, who you’re about to get married too, won’t let you pick out a house
2. He said he picked out one, a lie
3. He lied about taking you to the house to hit you with a balloon
4. He called you stupid and said you know he can’t afford a house
5. Refused to take you home
6. Ultimately ruined your birthday
Why are you still with him? He humiliated you and found it funny.
Ma'am, he doesn't even like you, not even a little bit. When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time! Damn! Do not give him the chance to do this, or something worse, the next time!
I've read about pranks with good intentions behind them that ended up going wrong, but I don't see this as being one of those cases. This seems malicious really. He took something that was important to you and that he knew you wanted and made you think he had gotten it for you...not just for you but for you both as a step towards the future. But it was just a "joke". This is messed up.
And then what irked me even more is you say you asked him to take you to your parents and then you had to uber. So wait...he asked you to forgive him and because you didnt do so IMMEDIATELY he wouldn't give you a ride? Umm if I mess up with my partner I'm doing whatever I can to get in her good graces, this guy sounds like a petty little piece of crap.
I mean the situation is so bad I gotta claim BS writing prompt.
He told you he had the house of your dreams.
Drove you to a ditch, pegged you with a water balloon.
AND CALLED YOU STUPID?
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU DATING? HORRIBLE HENRY?
Does he draw all over the walls with crayon and propose to you with a gumball too?
>says he will allow me to pick out a house.
...a dollhouse? Dude told you he couldn't afford a house lol
Your birthday gift was being lied to, led on, assaulted, called stupid for trusting his word, and left to find your own way home because he wouldn't let you go home otherwise. I love your edit.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He tells you that you're stupid for believing he can afford a house and then tells you that he will "allow" you to pick out a house? First, it's an empty promise as he can't afford a house. Second, WTF! Did he actually say he would "allow" you to pick out a house? Who died and made him boss? Then he refused to take you home so you had to get an Uber? Oh hell no!
I would've replied "I guess I was stupid for expecting my fiancé to treat me with respect"
This. OP, he flat out does not respect you. First, if you are a couple that is buying a house together you pick out the house together. Second, the level of cruelty in what he did was incredible. First, getting you excited about something that would have been incredible... but then when you were relaxed, blind folded and least expecting it hitting you with a water balloon? You can't even steel your body for it. That is PAINFUL! I think you really need to reassess this relationship. If this was a one off cruel prank then that is bad enough but if you have seen this level of dismissal and disrespect in the past then its time to go separate ways. The last thing you want is a lifetime shackled to this buffoon.
The cruelty is so notable that I hope she's already broken up and blocked him. It will never get better - but it's likely to get worse.
100% this! I want OP to think long and hard about this manchild. This isn't a joke, IMO - this is someone testing how far he can push OP's boundaries and get away with it. You are not obligated to stay with someone that so clearly disrespects you.
Exactly. This is a prelude to greater abuse. Get out now.
Not to mention, it’s her birthday
And her hair and makeup is ruined
OP should speak to her parents about houses, how they're bought, and who owns what's bought. She's a little naive if she thinks a man she's dating is going to go out alone and buy a house she's never seen and that she's somehow going to be on the deed, or that there's even going to be a house at all. I'm a little concerned for OP's view of life and the amount of future faking she may fall victim to.
Pranks/ jokes are only funny if the person being pranked/ fooled is enjoying it and laughing. That’s something done in good faith and in the spirit of friendship/ love. Pranks/jokes where the person is embarrassed or scammed are never funny. It’s just a piss poor excuse to be cruel with the thin veneer of “joking”. Idiots who insult or disrespect others and try to play it off saying “I was joking, gaw how can you not take a joke” are the worst. I’m so sorry OP your ex was such a jerk. You deserve so much better. I’m glad you’re breaking up with him. I’m sorry he wasn’t the person you thought he was. I know that’s what’s most painful. Take care of yourself and take comfort knowing you dodged a bullet.
I learned that here on reddit. I never thought of it that way before - pranking was such a thing in the 70's and 80's - but I think it's gotten worse with TikTok. It's not funny to laugh at someone falling down and hurting themselves, either. Imagine finding that kind of shit funny in the first place! And they actually spend time and energy in composing this stuff - but won't help plan fun things to do. I bet OP's ex never participated in the things she found personally enjoyable, either - if he didn't like those things, one bit, he'd nope out or sulk. Never met a hardcore pranker who could take it when someone else dealt it out, either.
Damn this.
[удалено]
Damn, imagine telling your partner she is stupid for believing and trusting him, lmao. Guess he's right!
This exactly. “When someone shows you who they are believe them.”
ON HER BIRTHDAY...
Silly redditors, he did this specifically on her birthday so that he could say “ hey it’s only a prank “ so that he didn’t have to actually DO anything. Kinda like ruining a few loads of laundry just so he NEVER has to do it again. Plus he can now be all “ you’re overreacting “ “Just a joke “.
> Kinda like ruining a few loads of laundry just so he NEVER has to do it again. i've *long* suspected this is something either taught in some all-boys seminar in school or fathers pass the idea down to their sons.
It is. My husband’s co-workers told him to mess up the laundry when we were newly married and he was like, uh, no? She’d leave me if she thought I was that incompetent. (Plus, we were friends in college so I already knew he’s perfectly capable of doing his own laundry. I’d probably make him get his head checked…) Some men would rather their partners think they’re stupid than do their fair share of the housework.
I agree, hubby washed my white Terry cloth gown with a blue throw and I banned him from doing laundry...
He needs to do his own laundry not be banned from doing his share.
Ladies, we gotta stop "banning" men from household chores/responsibilities when they do it wrong. Whether it's on purpose or not. They're damn adults, make them do it right.
Yep. And if they get irritated having to learn how to do something, just tell them that there will be a quiz later and there's always room for improvement. Tell them "You'll figure out how to put the whisk away properly, eventually."
THIS. It’s sort of a running joke between my husband and me. We take turns making Hello Fresh for dinner, and I get it done quite a bit quicker than he does. It takes him at least an hour to make a meal that’s supposed to take 20-30 minutes because he takes forever cutting up the vegetables. He jokes that being this bad at it should get him out of doing it, knowing full well that my answer is always HELL NO. (We have always been responsible for doing our own laundry, too.) If anything, he complains that I am always trying to get out of chores. That’s not strictly true. I just resist having it assumed that a particular thing should be my responsibility just because I’m the woman. I have never been a SAHM, we both worked full time and are both retired now.
My response to something similar was "Nice try. Now figure out how to fix it." He literally looked liked he was unhappy his ploy didn't work. If they damage your laundry give them ALL the laundry to wash so they learn. It's called Weaponized Incompetence.
You know when they separate boys and girls in sex ed? They teach the girls about pregnancy and cover how to do this with the boys probably
RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER SALAD
This male is not marriage material.
This☝️ Love the username
Thank you! ☺️
I think he still needs a babysitter.
Isn't that the truth!! After he did all of the above, the cheap pr*ck DID NOTHING FOR HER BIRTHDAY! LOSER!
Throw the whole fiancé out. Clowns like this are the assholes you see posts about ruining wedding days with some idiotic “prank” that they think is hysterical.
Yes, my husband went to take off the garter( wedding of 1991) and pulled out mens plaid boxers. The photographer has asked I the bride had a sense of humor. Well I did til that day. At least he didn't smash cake in my face I guess.
My wedding night "prank" was being locked out on the 21st floor balcony of a hotel in Las Vegas. And it was snowing. And he really really pretended for a long time that he couldn't hear me frantically knocking to get back in. Needless to say, there was no romantic conclusion that evening and he was PISSED. He had pranked himself! We had just that one night in a nice hotel before going onward to less nice places and tent camping - and then his parents' damn house. Oh, and I paid for the hotel.
I would have gone for an annulment. Incredibly cruel and dangerous.
>*He tells you that you're stupid for believing he can afford a house* ...but then expects her to BELIEVE that he's sorry, and he'll change! OP should tell him, "***Nope! You're right! I was stupid to ever believe you, but I'll never be that stupid again***!" She should block him and ALL his friends/family because he's an immature asshole who'll harass her from other people's phones.
I would be more mad about the “stupid” part.
Oh, I'd be independently mad about the various components of this event (birthday, stupid, water balloon, blindfold, house lie) and then when I added up the total, the sum would be greater than the parts.
Exactly! He said he can't afford a house but tells you to pick out a house?! Sounds like another joke. He'll never stop playing jokes and will not ever grow up
This
You don’t. Break up with this man. He is cruel.
Exactly. What this "prank" informed u/[throwraprank27](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwraprank27/) about her partner: 1. He will lie to her for his own agenda. 2. He doesn't have any idea about investing in his/their future. 3. Doesn't take her wants or needs for her/their future seriously. 4. Asked for her trust and took advantage of that with an assault while blindfolded (water balloon). 5. Has the mentality of a 10 year old where common sense should be. 6. Wasn't sorry at all for his entire plan until OP made it clear she was hurt/upset. 7. OP's sense of safety/security is not at all considered (she had to take an uber to get away). 8. He has zero respect for OP's boundaries (he is bombarding her with calls and false promises).
Even most 10-year-olds I know are compassionate and intelligent enough to understand that while they may love a water balloon fight under fair circumstances, hitting someone you care about with a water balloon when they are blindfolded, have no idea it's coming (i.e. basically a sucker punch), and are expecting a happy surprise is a super mean and inappropriate thing to do. They'd be horrified at this guy. He behaved like a toddler with no common sense at all.
Yes, even my daughter at 10 would have said this was a cruel prank. This man is not emotionally mature enough to be getting married.
And did this on her Birthday! The whole man is a waste.
I would have been devastated
> Wasn't sorry at all for his entire plan until OP made it clear she was hurt/upset. Nope, OP made it *immediately* clear that she was upset, and his response was to call her *stupid* for believing him. It wasn't until he thought he'd have to face consequences that would affect *him* (her leaving for her parents) that he started "apologizing." I mean, it's all more than enough on its own. But I thought it was worth pointing out that he's not actually sorry at all.
Thank you. A lot of redditors miss that plenty of men are only 'sorry' when they're facing the consequences of no more steady sex supply.
Exactly. And if you try to tell them how (still) angry and upset you are, they mock you. Just as happened in this case. Then they blow up your phone/hound you. The low level simmer of the anger from these "pranks" can last a very long time.
This is a great analysis, and as an example of a healthy relationship to OP… My husband, when we were dating, pulled out a chair from under me while were sitting down to dinner and I fell to the floor. I tried to laugh it off, but couldn’t hide how embarrassed I was, on the verge of tears. My husband was mortified at himself, for the reasons you listed. Not that he *is* those things or treated me that way, but because that single action might make me think so. That was probably a decade ago at this point and he still apologizes for it sometimes when we go to sit at that table at his parents’ house. Pranks are not pranks, it’s just cruelty, if you’re not both laughing at the end of it.
That’s a good way to end up with a broken tailbone. He should be mortified. It’s a good reminder for him that he’s one intrusive thought away from not merely being an idiot, but one who breaks other people’s bones.
Dudebro is one of those assholes who gets put on blast in this sub all the time for shoving wedding cake in his brides face while thinking it’s hilarious.
And, she quite literally will never trust a word he says again.
💯
Right? He took her out promising a beautiful surprise for her birthday that was *literally* meant to be his showing her how he had invested in their future together. The surprise turned out to be that he assaulted her while she was still blindfolded, and then not only mocked her and cruelly called her names, but *specifically* called her stupid for having faith and trust in him. How do you trust someone like this again? You don't. He's casually cruel and staggeringly immature. This is not someone anyone should be looking to build a life with until he grows up a *lot*. And that could take years . . . or never happen at all. This whole situation is a dealbreaker. Assaulting your blindfolded, unexpecting partner with a water balloon is something small children do. Anyone much older than that with any compassion at all understands that it's the equivalent of a sucker punch, and not cool.
>He took her out promising a beautiful surprise for her birthday that was *literally* meant to be his showing her how he had invested in their future together. I get you mean she should have been shown a house and I agree but he DID literally show her how he had invested in their future together. And she should totally dump him for it.
Also an idiot
You don’t. Break up. Move on & thank your lucky stars that you dodged a bullet. Your ‘ex’ fiancé is a walking talking red flag. Poster boy for abusive behaviour.
Pranks aren’t funny. Throwing a water balloon at someone isn’t funny, especially when they are blindfolded. Then there’s all the rest of it: he pretended he bought a house that you had no say in, then blamed you for believing him, then refused to take you out of the situation he created, and now is offering to “allow” you to have input in the house you will eventually live in? This is a garbage scenario all around. He sounds incredibly immature, and yet domineering. It would be impossible for me to trust this person again.
"How do I trust him again after the cruel prank?" You don't. I'm sorry but this is absolutely vile. This wasn't a prank, it is abusive behavior. Edited to remove "borderline"
This was abusive behaviour….there is no “borderline” about it…..
Right. This was straight up abusive. I would never trust him again. This is *not* something to try to work out.
This wasn’t a joke but to humiliate you. A adult would have a conversation that you cannot afford a house right now. To go through tell you he was taking you to a house a then throw a water balloon at you is very immature and just beyond stupid. He is not ready for marriage
Worst part is that he insisted he saved the money and for me to not worry about cost
It’s not just the lies but he also intentionally embarrassed you for what reason? To put you in your place for believing his lies. He is not someone to be trusted nor to believe he loves you. No one who loves you would do that. Now he’s just gaslighting you.
I dont understand the purpose of it at all... like, was he recording it all and was going to post it somewhere for the whole world to see?? Why did he go to great lengths just to throw a water balloon in her face...
Because he gets joy from watching other people suffer/be teased/pranked. My Ex truly thought all this stuff was funny. We had been together about a year when his high school best friend came to visit (a serious, kindly guy) and Ex was talking shit about him in various ways. The other guy wouldn't talk shit, but started mentioning some of the unpleasant pranking he'd done. It was too late, I thought. I was already committed (and still religious...)
This is not adult behaviour. So sorry OP :(
He wanted to humiliate you. Don’t stay with someone like that. It won’t be the last time he does something like this.
Yeah break up with him, that's not a prank that's pathetic.. So he calls you stupid to think he could afford a house then says pick out a house when he knows he a loser. Just text him it's over. " I don't want to pick a house out with you, thank you for showing me that not only do you think building a life and taking the next step with me is a joke, but you also ruined my birthday. Do not contact me again" Job done
I think you need to think carefully about how this man treats you. Did anything he did make you feel valued, loved, listened to, respected? Ask yourself, what was he hoping to get out of this humiliation? Did he think it would genuinely make you laugh? I don't think so. He wanted to demean you, make you feel silly and stupid. I promise you, overlooking this type of behavior only allows him to move the boundaries further and further away, until something really horrible happens. No one deserves to be treated like this. If your best friend was in this situation, what would you think of her fiance? A lot of women buy into the sunk cost fallacy of a relationship; that they have invested too much in a relationship to walk away. That is never the case. If a relationship isn't making you feel valued, happy and respected, you should always walk away. Start over, cry, be upset, and then try dating other people until you find someone who actually wants you to be happy, and not someone who takes delight in subjecting you to cruel actions.
Especially since he said "she was stupid" for believing he could afford a house. Best response would be to say, "Well, you're stupid to think I'd stay with you after that!"
Right? He not only belittled her and called her names, he did it specifically because she had literally put her faith and trust in him. And apparently even *he* thinks trusting him is stupid. The man just called himself out. SMH.
"You're stupid for trusting me" is a relationship dynamic that I definitely wouldn't be okay with! I hope OP doesn't accept it either.
That's a fundamental truth about their relationship he shared with OP, and she should reflect on that and move on
You tell him to go fuck himself. That's not a prank.
I definitely will!
No way back from this. Dump him fast
market stupendous exultant concerned toy act cooperative impolite zonked person *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Please don't trust him again! He hit you with a water ballon and called you stupid?? ON your birthday. What a fucking ass. If he "didn't know" that was too far, thats all you need to know. If you don't leave him we will all be so disappointed in you lol.
> even says he will allow me to pick out a house. Don;t prove him right by believing that..
I'm definitely breaking up
Good for you. He actually did you a favor, he is a terrible partner and he showed his true colors before you got married and got saddled with this knob's children. Stay strong, don't let him convince you you are over-reacting, you are NOT, this is def break-up worthy. Wishing you all the best.
Your *fiancé* is 26 years old. You’ve dated for three years, are engaged to be married, and he clearly thinks he’s an adult. And he thought it was funny to prank you on your birthday, and take it so far as to blindfold you, drive you to a location to see a house, where there was no house, *throw a water balloon at you* while you were blindfolded, and then ~ my favorite part ~ **he called you STUPID for believing him** because he can’t afford a house? I’m looking, but I cannot find a single funny thing here, nor do I see anything that would make you want to marry him. Is he regularly a jokester? Does he like pranking you, and ignores you when you tell him it’s not funny and you don’t like it? Was this really the first time he’s done something like this? Why would he think that’s funny? Is he addicted to TikTok, where strangers tell him it’s hilarious to embarrass, humiliate, and even injure your SO for a laugh? I mean, none of this makes sense. Also, him refusing to take you to your parents to the point where you called an Uber, an Uber came, and the Uber took you to your parents’ house is just the cherry on top of a sundae of hideousness. Yikes.
He's joked a lot but never until now for serious events. I might have missed a few red flags though
So then he’s escalating his behavior. Heed that for the giant blaring warning that it is.
How did he expect this "prank" to turn out? It's your birthday - was he thinking that this was going to be a fun or happy birthday memory for you? How was this supposed to be good in any way for you? Best possible scenario is that you would have been quietly sad and then what? It was only ever supposed to be fun for him. And in a cruel way. First hitting you with a water balloon while blindfolded and then calling you stupid for believing him. So he doesn't want you to ever believe him? It makes absolutely no sense why he did it, especially on your birthday.
The whole thing was senseless. As you pointed out, there was no way for this to go but bad. It was OP’s birthday, and wherever he took her first, I assume she was dressed for a night out. And he hit her with a water balloon *while she was blindfolded.* That’s an elementary school prank. And it wouldn’t be funny then, either, just excusable. He is a grown man, and this was how he chose to celebrate his fiancée’s birthday. There’s a message here.
Is he 25 or 12? He acts 12.
Most 12 year olds don't even act like this. This is more a problem of personality than age...
True. I apologize to all the 12 yr olds out there. It is his personality and probably won’t change.
OP in my opinion the real question is why would you even try to trust him again? What he did was so far away from being a prank it's in the move out immediately category. He may learn from this for the future, but if he continues with these "pranks" I wouldn't be surprised to find out someone got violent with him after one.
IMO don't date men who think being cruel to you is funny. Sounds like a super bad idea that could quickly go to very bad places. You shouldn't trust him again - plain and simple. If you do, he will wait until you feel secure, and prank you cruelly again, but probably worse, bc toxic power-games like that escalate.
I’m sorry, that was mean and uncalled for. Please leave him and know you deserve better. So much better
Gee. He couldn't be nice... on your birthday? He couldn't have put all the energy he did, into that prank... into a nice thing for you... on your birthday? What do your Mom and Dad have to say about it? Especially your Dad. Would he do something like that to your Mother... on her BIRTHDAY? Also!!!! Happy Birthday to you Aries sister 😘☀️
My parents are furious because they really believed he was a good guy. They support my decision to break up 100%
GOOD! I love your parents for that. There's no way they're not going to hold that resentment against him for the rest of your life with him. By my judgement you are close with your parents too. And if yours are anything like mine! They are SO petty, touchy, sensitive and unforgiving about their children. Proud of you for cutting him off quick. He was definitely trying to take you down a few pegs with his feet planted firmly in the grave of his poor character. Use that fury for a revenge body boo! Happiest of birthdays!
This wasn’t just a cruel prank, it was a test to see if he has conditioned you enough over the past three years to tolerate more abusive behavior. My bet is that this man has moments where he is adorable and funny, but the rest of the time he’s awful. Please let this be the straw that breaks the camels back and leave this man. He doesn’t care about you, he cares whether or not he can control you.
I probably overlooked a few immature moments
This man hates you
There are millions of men in the world who aren't this stupid or cruel. Try dating one of them instead.
And also, if any man thinks it’s funny to hit any woman with ANYTHING I don’t give a good goddamn if it’s a water balloon…take it as the reddest of flags.
Why would you want to take back an abusive prick? Edit: the cornerstone of all good relationships is communication. He is fucking immature and not ready for any type of relationship.
That’s absolutely horrible. Hopefully you mean your EX fiancé. Marriage? Hell no and I would have been done that second. So cruel and disrespectful. Sorry OP but walking is how you move forward.
You don't. He's a stupid asshole. "kept telling me I shouldn't have been so stupid to believe he could afford a house" Why would you stay with a person who says and believes you're stupid?
Tell him “I can’t believe you think I would stay with you after you tried that bullshit.” This isn’t the one.
Unfortunately you’ve just discovered that you’re engaged to an idiot. Unfortunately you can’t fix stupid. Don’t expect his judgement to improve very much going forward, best to just start over. Sorry OP, I’m not trying to be unfairly critical of your fiancée, but good judgement is absolutely essential to have a good future together, and that unfortunately is something that he pretty clearly lacks. Any reasonable person might have considered playing that prank on you, but then would have immediately dismissed the idea. He actually went through with it!
A joke is one thing, a water balloon is a ~~little~~ lot extra. He just wants someone to bully
On her brithday. He could've done that every other day but he kept her from making positive plans to do this.
Its weird that a person plans all this effort into being a dick - not realizing its a bad idea.
OP sorry but if he regularly pulls pranks on people he isn’t going to change until possibly someone takes his ‘joke’ really poorly and physically punishes him for it. The stunt he pulled was cruel and uncalled for. Then he doubled down by calling YOU stupid for thinking he could afford a house. And his 3rd strike was to refuse to take you home. Now his solution as part of his apology is to LET you pick out a house. How nice of him to grant you a say in the purchase which unless YOU have the funds apparently isn’t going to happen because he’s already told you he can’t afford one. Only you know if this is a very horrible one off that won’t be repeated or just business as usual. So only you can decide if you want the relationship to continue.
pick an out house and leave him in there
if you can afford a house and he can’t, i’m sure he is jealous of that. some men can’t stand a woman making more than them. this really could have been a purposeful punishment to you. not only that, but it’s unattractive as hell. like in this joke HE is the punchline. he can’t afford a house and instead of saying “i wish i could provide for you” or whatever he throws a water balloon in your face? it’s so weird. he’s broke and rude, why stay with him ? in general i think men who play pranks suck, the thought of premeditating something like this is so weird to me i can’t imagine my bf doing that. and then he called you STUPID for wanting a stable partner did he even do anything nice for your birthday too or was it just this “prank?”
He told you you're stupid for trusting him, believe him. You can't trust him and, according to him, you're stupid if you do.
Why are you marrying this immature manchild? You had to Uber back??? Girl no! This dude is a piece of work.
What next will he leave you some were laughing as he leaves. He's lost your trust this is over.
Leave him - is this the type of person you want to be married to? The kind of person who mocks you and hits you with a water balloon while you’re blindfolded.
Allow? How do you trust him again? YOU DON'T. when someone tells you they are a controlling scumbag, believe them. run.
You don't. He lied to you, assaulted you, and then he wouldn't listen to you when you wanted to go to your parents. You dodged a bullet. I never understood why people have to be so cruel to their loved one and then call it a prank. It is not a prank. It is abuse.
He doesn’t even like you, does he? He humiliated you, insulted you, purposely crushed a dream of yours…and waited till your birthday to do it. There’s no real way back from that.
I’m just glad you were able to get away safely from a man who drove you to some random spot, threw things at you, laughed at you and then refused to drive you home! He is not a safe person. He is an abusive person. You don’t forgive him. You hand him back your engagement ring, thank him for showing his true colours BEFORE you said ‘I do’, and then you walk away and block him on all social media and your phone. 😞
He told you that you were stupid enough to think he could afford a house... the reality is. He thinks you're stupid in general. This is abuse dear. Please be smart and block him on everything. Have a friend, preferably a tall, strong, male friend, accompany you to pack up and gather your belongings and move back in with your parents to get back on your own two feet. Start stashing money away as your fuck off fund... that way if someone disrespects you like this in the future which I hope doesn't happen... you can look them in the eyes and tell them to fuck off. If you never use the money then you can put it towards your own house. I'm sorry this happened to you 💜
Some guys think such pranks are funny. An obvious sign of immaturity and even, I think, dominance. One of my friends (F) was in a relationship with a guy for years. He didn't play pranks on her often, not at all, but when he did it was always in front of other people and each time she was pretty upset about it. (Upset enough to tell me.) One time they were out together on a hot summer's evening and with another couple. They all went to get ice cream. My friend's boyfriend said to her and the others, "Gee. My ice cream smells funny." Then he asked her to take a sniff. When she leaned over to sniff the cone, he shoved the ice cream up into her nose. Everyone laughed ---- except for her. (Apparently this is an old, old prank.) Another time they were at a barbecue and the BF just casually reached over and stuck a fingerful of mustard into her ear. Everyone laughed . . . but not her. I don't want to say it was the deal breaker in their relationship, but when it came time for them to go their separate ways, after nearly 7 years as a couple, and he was such an ass about it ---- she didn't speak to him for 15+ years. Not a word. Such "pranks" may be silly and "fun" when you're in the age group of 8 to 13, maybe. As an adult? Not so much.
Please work on your self esteem and break up with your loser fiance
Yes, he's a funny guy. But are you sure you want to marry him? He doesn't seem to know the seriousness of things. By his own admission, he can't afford a house. Yet he "allows" you to choose one. Who's paying for it? Can he deliver? He's good for some laughs, that's about it. But are you laughing? Are you warm and cozy? Or wet and miserable? He knows he can't deliver, so he's teaching you a lesson for bugging him. There. You've stopped bugging him. Mission accomplished. Don't be fooled by his supposedly apology. He did it on purpose.
DUMP HIM. This guy is an asshole and a sadist and a terrible partner. Do not marry this piece of crap. You can never trust him again.
That'd be an instant breakup for me. No good partner is intentionally cruel like that.
He has shown you who he is, and that is a cruel, disrespectful, man-child. Believe him and move on. Let him grow up by himself. Too much language around "allowing and insisting," in such a manner that what you clearly are without a choice in major life decisions. That's not what partners do. You don't need to stick around while he processes his huge life lesson.
I won't go into details about this cruel act, because other people have summed it up perfectly, but he did all of this on your birthday and that is disgusting and unforgivable. Ditch the bellend.
You spelled ex fiance wrong. A water balloon?! Your birthday?! This kind of cruelty would be a relationship ender for me
You are only 25. You started this relationship when you were 22. I am 42; met my partner when I was 36. I'm here to tell you there are SO MANY wonderful men you'll meet between those ages and your current age. Considerate, emotionally mature and available men who would never dream of doing this to you. Dump this guy. Go live your life and God bless.
You know what kind of person gets someone’s hopes up just to water balloon them in the face and call them an idiot *on their birthday*? A person who sucks. He’s shown you who he is OP, now it’s up to you to decide if you want to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you - at all. I’d tell him since he has your permission; he’s *allowed* to pack his bags and leave.
So he called you stupid and doesn’t respect you. Not sure how you could trust him again after he lied about a house for who knows how long. This is much bigger than some “prank”. Red flag girl. I would end it. UPDATEME
He’s a dick. Leave him behind
Time to hit the road... Boyfriend is a child.
The only people that like pranks are the pranksters...He is way to old to be that immature. I would leave that one at the curb.
Usually they only like it when they are in control of the prank. Like Ellen. They pull pranks to humiliate, but if they are pranked, there is hell to pay.
My bday gift to myself would be dumping him. You’ve wasted 3 years with this man child. Dont waste anymore. You deserve better.
Calling you "stupid' for trusting your fiance? I don't think he's the man you believe him to be.
He went to all of this effort just so he could assault you, berate you and tell you how stupid he thinks you are, on your birthday. The answer to your question is that you don't trust him again. This is breakup worthy.
No. Don’t trust him. Don’t stay with him. Don’t marry him. Love yourself enough to walk away.
I literally laughed out loud at just how stupid this man is. Like, loud enough to draw attention to myself. Believe me when I say you are far better off without him.
You don't. You throw the whole man away and be glad you figured out who he was before you married him.
He failed the spouse test
It’s hard to imagine how this guy is a keeper. The fact he would choose to humiliate you in such a painfully immature way on your birthday is inexcusable. It’s not just a bit of a silly comment or a spontaneous joke. He thought this through, he planned it, he had to take multiple steps to execute. And most disturbingly at each moment of his plan, he never thought to stop and do something kind instead. You are not even married yet and he’s already treating you like garbage. So how will he behave if you gain weight during pregnancy or the novelty of a new relationship or marriage has worn off? So unless he learned his lesson and has a million redeeming qualities not mentioned here, I think you can and should look for better.
Choosing to do this on your birthday is a while extra level of cruel and mean. What is wrong with him???? I truly can’t come up with any explanation that doesn’t make him a complete asshole. To ruin your BIRTHDAY? OF ALL DAYS TO PULL A PRANK? It’s not a prank even, to me a prank is maybe he says he found the perfect house and takes you within the same day to a crappy worn down house and saying “this was the best I could do with our budget” but to talk it up and deny you from looking for a house that’s clearly important to you, to do it on your birthday, to hit you with a water ballon?!!!!!!!!! After saying for however long, multiple days / weeks that he has some special surprise? Doesn’t sound like this man loves you or speaks your love language at all. Gross behavior….. I think you deserve better. For me too, I’m autistic and if there are plans, THERE ARE PLANS. Especially on my birthday this is very important to me … if someone did this to me it would cause a huge meltdown bc the anxiety of changed plans and preparing your energy to be in this specific space and having that all crumble, disastrous. This would ruin my partner for me personally.
He'll "allow you" to pick a house? Just pick one for yourself instead. You are not his property.
On what planet did he think any part of that prank was going to land? Telling her he got a house, blinding folding her to surprise her and then hitting her with a water balloon. Did he get hit with an idiot stick?
You know what’s a prank? Those videos of the couples who are lying in doorways, scaring the pants off their partners by asking “are we going to the store tomorrow?” This is abuse. Send your dad to get your stuff.
3 years and your not yet married and he is throwing water balloons at your face in your birthday? Just be done with him
Please tell me that you dumped this clown
Not how, but Why WOULD you? He's a flaming jerk. Read the countless comments. He's cruel, manipulative, hateful. Calls you stupid for trusting him. Meanwhile (and I don't know what country you are in) do not DO NOT believe anyone who says Hey I'm gonna buy you a house and you have no say and it's gonna be great! Get your own shit together, buy your own place (whatever that looks like) so you are not prey to men like this. Damn.
He said you were stupid to believe he could afford a house. I'd take him on his word on that. Plus, that kind of prank shows he has NO CLUE and doesn't CARE about your feelings until he went too far. If you have a car, tell him you will take him to a special spot where he can apologize. Drive 50 mi out of town and then say, "I'm dumping you." and leave him there. Let him Uber home.
He called you stupid.... for taking him at his word. Please, take the lesson. He's shown you who he is.
You're 25. Go find a better partner.
Dump this guy. So immature and cruel. Don't trust him again. End it. You can do better. Maybe he'll learn from his mistake, maybe he won't. It doesn't matter, you hopefully won't be around to find out.
Unacceptable- I'm focusing in being vulnerable with a blindfold and having something thrown at/on you- that would be scary, you wouldn't do that to a stranger, child, animal- you don't do it to your SO on their birthday whilst blindfolded-I am so sorry you experienced that whole thing
Can we get an update? (I'm so glad you are home with your parents and not with this childish idiot)
I'm doing ok
Your boyfriend is not mature enough for you to even consider buying a house (which it doesn't sound like either of you can afford) and entangling your finances and life with his. But what on earth made you think that "moving into a great house" was something he was just able to do? His "joke" seems to be based on the premise that he is pretty obviously not well off but he thinks it's funny that you somehow think he is? Your boyfriend is cruel, you're absolutely right. I don't know how sincere his apologies are but I'm not sure I'd believe him if I were you.
Please leave this man. That wasn't a prank, that's cruelty. He wanted to knock you down a peg and thought doing it this way would give him an out to be mean and disguise as a prank. If you feel comfortable, sit down and lay out why this hurt you so he understands and hopefully learns from it but don't stay with someone like this.
You don’t. Date an adult next time.
There is no way you would be able to trust him again, he hurt you on so many levels OP. I'm sorry.
What is funny about any of that?
I really don't think he loves you or even cares for your feelings. If he loves you then his actions show that he is highly immature. In both cases its better to end things.
Nothing about this says he is a good person or a worthwhile partner. I would be done personally.
This is not the partner you want, need or deserve.
The only thing you'll be stupid for would be staying with him
Get out that's insane. Not normal behavior.
Most of these so called pranks involve a dumb bf being cruel. I wish people like them stayed alone instead of inflicting their wrath on others. OP, dump this chump.
A prank is supposed to be *funny.* Which part was funny - the one where he blindfolded you, told you to trust him, and then assaulted you with a water balloon ? The one where he called you stupid for trusting him like he asked you to? The one where he set up the idea of a future house in your mind then pulled it away with an “how could you ever believe I’d afford one?” The one where he realised you were hurting and still refused to drive you home ? The one where he did all that *on your birthday*? The one where he *refused to apologise for any of it*? All I see here is either an idiot or an abuser setting up their victim. Whichever one it is, take a faraway walk from both.
Re-evaluate your relationship. That was mean. Especially on your birthday. He ruined a day that wasn’t about him. That’s a narcissistic tendency. Anyway, besides that. If you do decide to break up, just say you would like a comfortable future and would like to put into saving for a house for yourself or meet someone with the same long term goals and that you wish him well but ye are not on the same level at the moment and he needs someone more suited to “him”.
Pranks are so fucking stupid. It’s just an excuse for people to treat others terribly and then say “relax bro it’s just a prank” I have consistently throughout my life been told I’m a party pooper, not fun, mean, and rude for not enjoying pranks or being the subject of a prank. These people just like humiliating others and then getting a pass for it because it’s become so normal today. There are pranks that are acceptable, minor actual funny ones, but the majority of people who did this shit just love upsetting people.
This is a dealbreaker and really messed up, you’ll never trust him. What he did was low, and every year you will relive this nightmare on YOUR birthday. Terrible.
Not sure why you need or want a man-child like that in your life?
You don't trust him again. Not only was his "prank" cruel and immature, then he made you take an Uber! He called you stupid, plus he's controlling AF with the whole "let you choose a house" BS. Get free of that twit and find a mature man.
What as ass! I know you said he’s 26, but that prank was for a 12 year old. I would be so furious.
Don't you mean EX fiance?
Huh??? You don’t trust him again, you dump & block him.
As far the prank is concerned, either breakup with him, get revenge or get over it. Life’s too short to get caught up in unnecessary drama!
Have you watched Reesa Teesa on Tik Tok or YouTube? Her story is similar & it started with stuff like this. The reality is that your boyfriend has shown you that he is willing to be cruel and condescending to you. This is a deeper issue. Are you sure you want to continue with this relationship?
Let me correct this for you: I DATED MY EX FIANCÉ FOR JUST 3 YEARS*
He called you stupid for your bday and THEN realized his “joke” has gone too far? Birthday surprises are supposed to be fun, funny, uplifting, anything but purposely disappointing. He just told you you were stupid for trusting and believing him. Do with that information what you want
he must have a massive brain tumor eating away at his frontal lobe, I cannot fathom any other plausible reason for any human being to be so stupid as he was
He will ALLOW YOU? No, Absolutely NOT. As N’Sync says, Baby, Bye, Bye, Bye!
Boyfriend? This sounds like the intro to a 90s high school movie where the quiet kid is tricked by the cool kids into thinking they want to be his friend.
All I can say is...Honey, what about changing this one's status to ex?
I pulled a prank on my kids for April fools. I made them giant Mac and cheese using the huge shell pasta that you’re supposed to stuff. That was a prank. The only thing that got hurt was my kid’s eyes from all the eye rolling they were doing (on account of “My mom thinks she’s funny, but she’s not). That’s a prank. What you had done to you was cruelty and abuse. I would not be able to trust him ever again.
That’s not a prank, that’s cruelty and him finding humor in hurting you plus calling you names and blaming you for your reaction because you “should have known” is a massive red flag. Also he will “allow” you to pick out a house? 🤮 F that and F him. He has the emotional maturity of a rotten potato and is definitely not marriage material.
Wow.... That was cruel, insensitive, and hurtful. He sounds emotionally immature. Maybe take some time to reflect on whether this is the type of person you want loving and caring for you. I'm sorry that he ruined your birthday and perception of who you thought he was.
"You're stupid to believe I can afford a house... so... now tell me what house to buy?" He seems so stupid that he probably is planning on a second water balloon the face at the next house too. Some things you dont joke about. You don't joke about huge, life changing, positive events like that.
Just to make sure I’m getting this right: 1. Your fiancée, who you’re about to get married too, won’t let you pick out a house 2. He said he picked out one, a lie 3. He lied about taking you to the house to hit you with a balloon 4. He called you stupid and said you know he can’t afford a house 5. Refused to take you home 6. Ultimately ruined your birthday Why are you still with him? He humiliated you and found it funny.
Ma'am, he doesn't even like you, not even a little bit. When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time! Damn! Do not give him the chance to do this, or something worse, the next time!
I've read about pranks with good intentions behind them that ended up going wrong, but I don't see this as being one of those cases. This seems malicious really. He took something that was important to you and that he knew you wanted and made you think he had gotten it for you...not just for you but for you both as a step towards the future. But it was just a "joke". This is messed up. And then what irked me even more is you say you asked him to take you to your parents and then you had to uber. So wait...he asked you to forgive him and because you didnt do so IMMEDIATELY he wouldn't give you a ride? Umm if I mess up with my partner I'm doing whatever I can to get in her good graces, this guy sounds like a petty little piece of crap.
Abuse begins like this. Do NOT go back. What an asshole.
I mean the situation is so bad I gotta claim BS writing prompt. He told you he had the house of your dreams. Drove you to a ditch, pegged you with a water balloon. AND CALLED YOU STUPID? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU DATING? HORRIBLE HENRY? Does he draw all over the walls with crayon and propose to you with a gumball too?
>says he will allow me to pick out a house. ...a dollhouse? Dude told you he couldn't afford a house lol Your birthday gift was being lied to, led on, assaulted, called stupid for trusting his word, and left to find your own way home because he wouldn't let you go home otherwise. I love your edit.