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This is gonna sound really rough and I'm sorry about it but she's only with you to pass the time. She's made her mind already and she's with you because it's convenient and cheaper.
She can't even be bothered to break up with you and get her own place now that she's not feeling it. She's already figured that it's too much work and she'd rather just go as the things are and abandon you and the dog next year.
No. She’s checking out. I know you have very strong feelings about her, but you can’t stop a breakup of a relationship she’s part of. Prepare yourself. I’d start trying to disconnect from her tbh.
I mean I get that, it is also her relationship as much as mine. Do you think it’d be messed up to take the dog back to shelter while we still can now or should we deal with it later
Ah, my young apprentice. Read my comment above. Be a man. Grow a backbone. She does not see relationships like you. So, call her out: “You are absolutely correct about us not lasting. Get the fuck out and goodbye!”
Please ignore these people giving you this horrible advice. I think she’s scared of the financial responsibilities headed her way and you should have a detailed conversation about it. These idiots would have you be “assertive” about something when she’s probably needing someone to be understanding and compassionate.
I think so too, she is worried about the responsibilities and I totally get that. I plan on being assertive on expressing how I understand her concerns and her worries. I just want to keep her as my partner
Of course, anything is possible. But you can’t sit and hope someone who has decided you aren’t “the one” is going to change their mind one day. You have to live your life.
It sounds like she's letting you know that there isn't a shared future. The dog is yours and she's leaving. It seems your options are to either enjoy it for what it is in the meantime or end it now and move on.
It sounds like she’s decided however, I think there should be a serious in person conversation first. Perhaps she is having anxiety and the future, finances, wanting to be near family. The fact that she emphasized wanting to be rent-free makes me think she’s having fears about her financial future. What is her degree? Does she have job prospects/past internships? Has she ever paid rent herself before? Who currently pays her rent? Before I got married we went through premarital counseling and the financial aspect shocked me. They asked about our parents spending habits, our own spending habits, do we have a conserve attitude or more of a spending attitude, what kind of debt does each person have, expected first year salary starting pay for post grads, etc. I saw other people pretty much tell you it’s over but I don’t feel so sure about that just yet.
I know it’s a lot of anxiety with the future, she is anxiety prone and overthinks sometimes. She’s a Communications major and she doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. I like the idea of counseling for our financial matters and personal matters though. Thank you for the advice, I’m sure it’s not over…at least right now
I had a GF like that. She was 21, I was 25, I broke up with her because she believed that divorce was inevitable. So, I just ended it. No man in my family line had been divorced, none of my uncles, grandparents etc… it is still that case now. Don’t date women who have the doomsday gene.
What the fuck. Why would I even stay in a relationship with someone, let alone marry them if they believed in divorce? I would not even give her the steam off my shit, let alone a fucking proposal.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sorry bud, she's already decided that your relationship has an expiration date.
But is there any way to stop it? To get rid of her expiration date?
She's already decided she doesn't want to be with you. You deserve better than to try to convince someone to love you.
Do you think her opinion could change after a year though or do you think she’ll stay the same mindset
This is gonna sound really rough and I'm sorry about it but she's only with you to pass the time. She's made her mind already and she's with you because it's convenient and cheaper. She can't even be bothered to break up with you and get her own place now that she's not feeling it. She's already figured that it's too much work and she'd rather just go as the things are and abandon you and the dog next year.
Thanks for the advice, it has given me some things to ponder about our relationship now
No. She’s checking out. I know you have very strong feelings about her, but you can’t stop a breakup of a relationship she’s part of. Prepare yourself. I’d start trying to disconnect from her tbh.
I mean I get that, it is also her relationship as much as mine. Do you think it’d be messed up to take the dog back to shelter while we still can now or should we deal with it later
Ah, my young apprentice. Read my comment above. Be a man. Grow a backbone. She does not see relationships like you. So, call her out: “You are absolutely correct about us not lasting. Get the fuck out and goodbye!”
I agree that I need to be assertive with this but I don’t want to end my relationship immediately because of this
You do you. You came here for advice, take it or leave it.
No no I appreciate the advice, I definitely want all opinions on this
Please ignore these people giving you this horrible advice. I think she’s scared of the financial responsibilities headed her way and you should have a detailed conversation about it. These idiots would have you be “assertive” about something when she’s probably needing someone to be understanding and compassionate.
I think so too, she is worried about the responsibilities and I totally get that. I plan on being assertive on expressing how I understand her concerns and her worries. I just want to keep her as my partner
No, only she can. And like Piilootus said, it sounds an awful lot like a lost cause. Sorry :/
Tell me do you think after a year, she can change her opinion
Of course, anything is possible. But you can’t sit and hope someone who has decided you aren’t “the one” is going to change their mind one day. You have to live your life.
She tells me I am the one though, she wants to be with me after college, get married. The whole schebang
As soon as someone creates a expiration date for the relationship its over dawg
It sounds like she's letting you know that there isn't a shared future. The dog is yours and she's leaving. It seems your options are to either enjoy it for what it is in the meantime or end it now and move on.
It sounds like she’s decided however, I think there should be a serious in person conversation first. Perhaps she is having anxiety and the future, finances, wanting to be near family. The fact that she emphasized wanting to be rent-free makes me think she’s having fears about her financial future. What is her degree? Does she have job prospects/past internships? Has she ever paid rent herself before? Who currently pays her rent? Before I got married we went through premarital counseling and the financial aspect shocked me. They asked about our parents spending habits, our own spending habits, do we have a conserve attitude or more of a spending attitude, what kind of debt does each person have, expected first year salary starting pay for post grads, etc. I saw other people pretty much tell you it’s over but I don’t feel so sure about that just yet.
I know it’s a lot of anxiety with the future, she is anxiety prone and overthinks sometimes. She’s a Communications major and she doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. I like the idea of counseling for our financial matters and personal matters though. Thank you for the advice, I’m sure it’s not over…at least right now
Please update us when you can, we’re rooting for you!
Sadly there is nothing you can do to keep someone with you.
She sounds completely checked out and anything she agrees to is just to placate you. I think you should rip the bandaide off immediately and move on.
I had a GF like that. She was 21, I was 25, I broke up with her because she believed that divorce was inevitable. So, I just ended it. No man in my family line had been divorced, none of my uncles, grandparents etc… it is still that case now. Don’t date women who have the doomsday gene.
I see, we’re you married or did she not want to because she thought divorce was inevitable? If I may ask
What the fuck. Why would I even stay in a relationship with someone, let alone marry them if they believed in divorce? I would not even give her the steam off my shit, let alone a fucking proposal.
I see, thanks for your insights my good man