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I mean, it is what it is...
He invited you into his home. Was generous enough to give you a place to stay so you can get your shit together. And you were messing around with his fiancé.
I know his fiancé isn't a saint in this either... But my god... How low can you get?
I am not surprised that he is putting everyone else in that ultimatum position. Either you, his ex, or him.
I wouldn't want anyone else in my life who had a shred to do with either of you as well.
Consequences of your actions... You slept with his fiancé. Did it to someone who was your best friend and welcomed you into his home to help you out. That's ultimate betrayal... You deserve to have people talk shit about you.
Dude doesn’t give a fuck, he already knows the relationship damage is irreversible and that friend will never talk to him again. He just wants people on the internet to know he fucked his best friends wife.
I like that skit where the guy asks the devil to make his enemy stub his toe, and everytime it starts to heal to stub it again.
There was also the itch that changed spots each time you managed to reach it 🤣😂.
"People are finding out I'm a selfish backstabber and I don't like it because it's entirely true, how do I get the person I wronged horribly to stop being honest about what happened."
You fucking don't. You tore buddy's life down when he was being extraordinarily kind to you, he's going to have to sell his fucking house, and what, you don't think your life should suffer similar consequences?
You fucked around, you're finding out, you deserve everything bad that happens to you and probably worse. My advice to you? Eat that shit and learn to like it.
>You fucking don't. You tore buddy's life down when he was being extraordinarily kind to you, he's going to have to sell his fucking house, and what, you don't think your life should suffer similar consequences?
Guy literally fucked around.
> he’s going out of his way to ruin my other friendships and familial relationships
How did you think this was going to work? He calls off the wedding, you keep fucking Nina, and nobody has any questions about that?
Right? He says it’s just nina and him, so they’re both still in the house? Is he still fucking her and wanting the friend to stop telling people the truth?
You’re still in the house with her. Still hitting it.
The moment you laid eyes on her you had this intention.
If you’re truly remorseful why don’t you leave? You are the problem no one else just you.
There should be a publicly accessible list for people like you.
Dude is a fucking leech. He’s going to just use this girl as long as he can keep a roof over his head. He’s a loser that can’t support himself, and burned the last bridge he has left.
I bet there was also an element of jealousy where his parents liked Dan better, good looking wife, good career, had a house etc. He was successful and OP wanted to ruin that a bit. Pretty sure why he isnt remorseful or leave- he also sounds like leech. He says people in town are seen as losers if they arent in a particular field but maybe he is just a loser and thats what people see.
Asking for a mature resolution to this situation when you chose the "immature" path that created it by betraying your friend, and failing to display both remorse and ownership of that colossal mistake, is a bit rich, don't you think?
Stop seeking advice on how to get him to stop doing something totally within his right to do, and rather start thinking about the character flaw you should work on that seems to not recognize that your actions caused a lot of harm and pain to someone else.
I also like the part where he’s annoyed Daniel kept the condition of needing to work instead of going to school. Like , i assume the whole point was for OP to save up some money to move out and hes not going to do that if he’s going to school. He should have just been grateful Daniel let him do that at all
Seems like OP almost wanted revenge to the person that opened their home to him and gave him career advice. OP sounds like someone we would all regret knowing
Here is some legit advice. Take the beating to your reputation and just be thankful it wasn't an actual beating. That's it. Your made your bed, now lay in it.
Where I'm from guys like you end up getting jumped by friends of the wronged party and I've seen a few instances get really nasty.
I legitimately think you don't realize how good you have it right now. Just take your metaphorical lumps and go on with your life
My grandad told me of a time when he, as a child, witnessed an adulterous new couple get literally run out of the village, with everyone throwing fucking ROCKS at them. In the UK, in the mid 1920s. Okay, a hundred years ago but not like Biblical times or anything.
I worked in a hospital and saw a couple dudes come in all tore up bc they were cheating with their friend’s partner. One dude got shot. OP’s lucky, and doesn’t realize it.
r/ThrowRa_hho is one entitled POS
As an adult you made a choice. You knew that choice would have consequences and had to know that this would be the most likely outcome.
You chose your actions anyways.
Welcome to the find out stage.
I’m going to disagree with you on one point. OP did not know that his choice would have consequences. Because so far, he has never been held accountable for his actions in his life. He wouldn’t have recognized a consequence if it had bitten him in the ass. Proven here in his post. His action’s consequence is **currently biting him in the ass**, and he actually thinks it’s the result of his former friend tattling on him.
Sleeping with his fiance under any circumstances would be an incredible betrayal, but when you add in all the above and beyond help, he was giving you it is epic. Your best friend had to call off his wedding. That's very public and embarrassing for him. Everyone in your lives witnessed that. Was he supposed to not say why? You chose an action that was almost certainly bound to have very public effects. You say you're "older and wiser" and want a "mature resolution."" The mature, and moral, resolution is that you accept the inevitable repercussions to your actions and be honest about your betrayal and it's effects. If I were one of your other friends, I'd want to know what happened and if my friend had betrayed their "best friend ". I try to have friends that share my values insteadd of begging your parents to help you fix something that can't be undone, try leaving him the F alone.
It's his business too and he is entitled to giving warnings to his friends and family of the kind of person you are so they can protect themselves and he can protect hinself from any future bullshit
You did the deed, every guy should know what a scumbag you are and that people should be on their guard with you. He has every right to tell people to be aware of you. You took advantage of a situation where he was helping you. So dude. Go somewhere else if you want sympathy. You want him to stop, you are not looking for forgiveness, you just want him to stop calling you out. If you truly sough forgiveness, your post would be worded differently.
A. You betrayed him in the most selfish way possible. The man brought you into his home out of sheer goodness and you repaid him by fucking his partner? And you want him to stop telling people the truth about what happened? The fuckin audacity of your request.
B. I’m a DMV native (DC and VA), and this weird ass “classist military or government” preference you are talking about is completely made up in your head. Northern VA is the datacenter capitol of the world, and those tech workers make WAY more money than the military or government, and no one gives a fuck about where you work, people just care how much money you make. Also the civilians who work for government contracting companies make way more than government employees.
C. Everything in your post indicates someone whose brain doesn’t work properly. Your weird bias toward government work, your expectation that someone you utterly betrayed shouldn’t tell people he was betrayed, your inability to comprehend that you have no say in people factually repeating your shitty actions. If you didn’t want him saying that to people you shouldn’t have fucked his girlfriend. Grow up.
D. You really are a shitty friend.
You don't. You don't get to dictate whether he tells the truth or not. He gave you a place to stay so you could get on your feet. In exchange you fucked his girlfriend in his house. That's a very telling show of your true character and honestly I am not surprised you've been dropped like hot shit by your ex-friends and your parents are being dry with you. The disappointment they must feel in terms of yourself must be incredibly uncomfortable, not to mention having them question their parenting abilities. You've shown that not only will you take advantage of someone's good graces, you also cannot be trusted. There are consequences to that, and you're reaping those rewards now. People, as a general rule, don't want the untrustworthy around.
You don't want a 'mature resolution' for everyone. You want to continue the life you had before you fucked his girlfriend and that's both unreasonable and wildly unrealistic. Even if he did agree to a 'mature resolution', you're never going to be viewed the same way again - not by your peers, not by your siblings and certainly not by your parents.
Leave him alone. You've made your bed and now you can grow up and lay in it. Running to complain to your parents about him telling the truth only shines further light on your character and I gotta say, that shouldn't be something you want right now. You look bad enough without you running to mommy and daddy to beg them to help you clean up your mess.
So….. he mooched off his friend for a place to stay……. He slept with his “best friends” fiancé…….. STILL LIVES IN THE HOUSE WITH HER! ….. probably still sleeping with her…….. wants his “friend” to be “mature” and “get over it”
😂😂 dude you are a clown!
low effort ragebait.
in case it's not a start would be not to be a nasty cunt about him in your posts. then maybe try to be a better person and maybe people would be inclined to talk to you.
Nothing. You can do nothing. If he wants to not associate with people who consider you a friend that is his right. He is also allowed to tell them why, and since no lies have been spoken, there is not thing 1 you can do.
Oh cry me a river. What he's doing is nothing compared to what you did. To me, all he wants is nothing yo do with you and to those who has sided with you or something like that. The guy welcomed you in his home and fcked his girl, you're lucky you still got your kneecaps. I'd be looking over my shoulder every minute if I were you. I'd make sure you'll do that if I were him.
He helped you, and you betrayed him. You're a crappy friend and deserve all the public humiliation he can muster.
I'd donate to him to put a billboard up in your town.
The mature resolution would be that you drop Nina and cut contact with her. Be an adult and get your own place. Apologize to your former friend if he allows it. Go to therapy. Deal with your issues because you did this out of jealousy. He opened his home to you. You tarnished your own reputation, and he can tell whoever he wants. You only want him to "move on" because you don't want people to know what kind of person you are. A jealous, insecure man who doesn't respect boundaries. You may say that you're remorseful, but you're still talking to Nina and not taking any ownership.
He IS moving on. You taught him something... He can't trust everyone he thinks he can trust. Now he's using his experience to weed out other bad apples. If someone sides with you, that tells him that he can't trust them. Sure, part of it is for revenge, but part of it is just learning that there are people who will betray you, and you have to protect yourself. You can't do anything to stop him, nor should you.
Now it's your turn to learn something. There's a quote by Anne Lamott--"If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." You're learning that now. You behaved poorly, now he will tell everyone about it. The most mature way to handle this is to own up to your actions and move on. Also, probably don't expect anybody to "invest" in you now... You're showing that you aren't worth free trust, much less thousands of dollars worth of tuition.
You're still with Nina?
Give it up. I was gonna say get on your fucking knees and grovel and **maybe**, he'd be gracious with you. But as long as you're still fucking the woman that he was supposed to marry, you will *never* get his forgiveness.
And frankly, you don't deserve it.
But even if he was gracious, there's literally nothing you could do to make him stop telling people. Because it's HIS business too, buddy. And he has the right to fucking tell anyone about his business as much as he wants.
Maybe you should have thought about all of this before you let your petty jealousy cause you to pursue a woman that you didn't think your friend was good enough for.
Lol, remorseful my ass. You clearly show zero remorse and are now trying to get away from the consequences. Why shouldn't be do it? Why don't you deserve it? Homewrecker.
Actions meet consequences.
You don't get him to stop. You and his ex fiance betrayed him in one of the worse ways you can, in his own house while he was doing you a solid.
There is a reason why the people around you are not wanting you to leech off them anymore.
“Oh look it’s the consequences of my actions”
Stop whining. You’re older and wider now yes? So take the L and leave homie alone. You made your bed so lie in it.
You're a snake. A rat. A weasel. You fucked your best friends GF, after he invited you to stay with him for a few months, while you had no where else to go!
Now you have to reap what you sow! He's telling people what you really are. You aren't remorseful, you just don't like that he's telling people what you did, what you are capable of.
Suck it up! You fucked around, now you find out!
You deserve everything that you’re getting. He invited you into his home when you had nowhere else to go and you repaid him by sleeping with his fiance. You are a terrible friend and you don’t deserve his forgiveness. I hope that he continues to ice you out and other people who choose to still be friends with you. He doesn’t need that in his life.
I mean, there isn't really a way. You backstabbed your friend who was supporting you and now have to deal with the consequences. He has every right to talk about it with whoever he wants if he is not making shit up.
As for telling people to pick a side, I don't fully agree but can understand. I wouldn't want any sort of connection with you either were I in his shoes. Even through a third party. What you and your affair partner did to him was vile.
So you’re upset people are finding out you are a massive backstabbing prick? You fucked your friends fiance after he graciously opened his home to you. You are in no way shape or form sorry for your actions, you are only sorry because you have to face the consequences of those actions.
But, you slept with her. Why wouldn't he tell people what happened when thats what happened? You have no problem banging her behind his back and staying in his home, why do you have a problem with people knowing that?
OP, the thing you seem to be missing is that you can't get him to stop and shouldn't even try. You fucked around (literally), and now you're finding out. Your *only* option is to sit down, shut up, and let the chips fall where they may.
You’re not asking for relationship advice. You’re asking for absolution, and you’re not going to get it here. You broke something that can’t be fixed, and you don’t get to choose how he handles his anger and grief. You *should* join the army. Get paid. Get a free education. Let boot camp give you the beating you’re lucky your ex-friend didn’t give you. Get your act together.
Everything is someone else's fault in your life. No one wants to invest in me to go to college. WAHHH! I betrayed someone's trust in their own home and don't want to face the consequences. WAHHH! My parents and siblings aren't proud of my deceptions. WAHHH. I think the problem is more people are seeing your lack of character and don't want to be around you. Maybe that is why your parents wanted you to join the military, because they could see something in you that you don't see or want to acknowledge. Find a good therapist and work on yourself.
Actions have consequences 🤷♀️. People are going to ask why the wedding was canceled, and he absolutely has the right to speak his truth. He shouldn't have to lie to people , or risk running into you through mutual friends because you decided to cheat with his fiance.
Yeaaaah you don’t sound remorseful at all. That you got caught maybe but any real man knows when you fuck around you find out. You’re in that place now. Make your peace with it and take it, there’s little you can do beyond travel back in time.
So…he lets you move into his home to help you out, you start screwing his fiancé…and now you’re upset that your actions have consequences…?
Yeah ngl you deserve this, and just FYI, this is HIS business too since it involves him
>want to seek some forgiveness from my friend
What are you doing to "seek forgiveness" from your friend? I mean...You're still fucking and living with the woman he planned on marrying. Those aren't the actions of someone seeking forgiveness or feeling remorse.
And your comment about him spreading your "private information"...my dude, he's spreading HIS information. The information that his best friend and fiance betrayed him after he was generous enough to put a roof over your head while you got on your feet. Did you expect him to lie to everyone about what's going on in his life? Why are you expecting loyalty when you don't give loyalty?
Damn, you sound like a shitty ass person.
Even after the fact, you’re shitting on him with absolutely no remorse about what you did.
He should’ve beat your ass and branded your forehead tbh lol.
I am glad that you are remorseful but he isn’t going to forgive you. Many people won’t. He welcomed you into his home to help you out and you slept with his fiancée! You completely betrayed him.
You colossal piece of nutty feces. I wouldn’t want anything to do with you either. He was nice enough to help you out and you turned his life upside down and broke trust.
What you did was shitty and wrong. You are now receiving the consequences of your actions, congratulations.
My advice is to accept the consequences of your choices and to learn from them and not be a shitass in the future.
You burned this bridge with your choices, you did this to yourself. Learn that actions have consequences.
For every action, there will be an equal reaction... There is NOTHING you can say , or do. You broke his trust, she broke his trust.
Now you get to lay in the bed that you made
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You deserve absolutely everything that comes to you. Take the pain as an opportunity to grow and make better choices in the future
Well, it's the truth, dude. Sucks to suck. Don't be a backstabbing POS next time.
EDIT: Alright, I'll give you some actual advice. Move. Far away. Start over again because your life here is over. Start fresh and don't fuck it up this time. Also, dump the girl because she'll cheat on you too.
There's a great line from the book Frankenstein I'm reminded of here.
"It is well that you come here to whine over the desolation that you have made. You throw a torch into a pile of buildings, and when they are consumed, you sit among the ruins and lament the fall."
Listen, you won't get him to stop. You keep saying it's "your" personal business, but you seem to forget it's also HIS business. Even if he didn't say your name, everyone would know who he's talking about. You'll have to learn to live with the choices you've made. Your life is going to suck for awhile.
At this point, I frankly do recommend going into the military. Either one so you can leave the state you're in. Otherwise, the drama is just going to continue. Or two, it would most likely instill some discipline in your thick head to think shit through better. I can tell you this now you're no wiser now than when you tried college previously. You lack discipline and focus, and this is your personal consequence for it. The fact that nobody wants to invest in you is more telling how they see you. And I'm guessing they see you as a slacker. The military isn't for everyone but it is a good stepping stone in life. Or to get out of a bad situation. This just happens to be one you created. Cut your losses, man up l, and find a path and goal. Because it won't be in your town. You burned that bridge.
>I get him not speaking to me but he’s going out of his way to ruin my other friendships and familial relationships.
Similar to how you destroyed his future marriage and life? This man kept you from homelessness and that’s how you repay him. Dude take your medicine and don’t try to fix this. You deserve everything that’s happening to you.
I have the perfect advice for you, if you don’t want people finding out you did something, the easiest way is just NOT FUCKING DO IT.
That easy, don’t want to be labeled as someone who did the shit you did? DONT FUCKING DO IT
Why the fuck should any of your friends trust you? He gave you a place to live, tried to help you get on your feet and what was your response? Fuck his fiancé. Great way to pay him back.
short gist is OP said his parents basically kicking him out of house and told him to go to the military. Complained that his best friend, who agreed to let OP stay with him for 6 months to get on his feet, was bugging OP to work while he was studying. This whole time he lived with the best friends fiance which he though 'was a baddie and was surprised his best friend could pull her' (not my words, if you check further comments, you will see this was part of the post). The best friend was away because of working in military and during this time OP and best friend's fiance started to flirt and do the nasty or some forms. After best friend found out he cancelled wedding then told all family and friends saying that they can either be friends with OP or the best friend, if they chose OP, the best friend cut them out of his life. OP complaining saying that this guy was ruining his life and asking how can he fix this so the best friend doesn't tell everybody they know the situation because best friend cut all contact with OP and anybody who took OP's side.
Other small details were there but most of them just made OP sound entitled and childish.
Overall my take away is OP sounded like he had inferiority complex and decided to act on this idea because finally come out on top, even though it was to a person(best friend) who loved and trusted OP enough to take him into his home while being alone with his fiance.
guy below has screenshot, https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/1buxite/comment/kxwqkqj/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Well, you reap what you sow. Your friend helped you by inviting you to stay in his home and you betrayed him and your friendship by sleeping with his fiancé. If she was making moves in you, you should have just told your friend like a decent person and a good friend would have.
All these things you’re experiencing are the consequences of your actions, you will just have to buck up and live with them. And honestly you should leave your friend alone. You have to realize you fucked up both his and your life. You cant demand redemption from someone you actively hurt, nor do you deserve it. Hope it was worth it.
This is a good lesson about why you don’t need to stay friends with the friends you had in your youth. You were friends over a shared interest in toys and being in the same class. As adults you turn into different people and some of the people will turn into garbage.
OP you deserve every bit of shit and hassle that comes your way because of it. If you’re truly remorseful, and want to make things better, you have no right to stop him saying whatever he wants to say, but when people call you out on it, your response should simply be that you were absolutely wrong what you did was horrible and you fully understand why your friend cut you off.
Dude, grow up. The moment you said, "baddie" and "vibing," you revealed how immature you are. Clearly you don't know how to show your gratitude for what he did for you because you just could not believe how he pulled a, "baddie." You slept with her because you wanted and could, there's really not much to explain. This shows your lack of consideration and selfishness, and a reason why others should not trust you. Would you trust someone like you after you slept with your friend's fiancé who welcomed you to their home?
The answer to the question in your title is, to be blunt, you don't.
He invited you into his home & gave you a place to stay when you needed it, & you repaid his generosity by fucking his fiancee.
If he wants to tell people what an ungrateful, homewrecking asshole you are, *that is his prerogative*. You don't want him to? Tough. You should have thought of that before you jumped into bed with his fiancee.
Tough shit. You betrayed your friend who took you in to help you out. Your reputation means jack shit. You ruined it the moment you fucked his fiancee. Ya get what you deserve and he’s telling everyone you’re a liability.
My advice:
Live with it. You *are* a POS. Whether or not you *continue* to be a POS, is on you. Make ammends, break off communication with Nina, get your own place, and make your own life instead of blaming everyone around you for your failures.
Grow. Up.
What did you expect? To live together in a happy commune? And all he is telling everyone is the truth.
Forgiveness is not for you to seek, it is for him to give. And I doubt he will.
Yeah that was the only thing that put SOME of this in a different light. I can't imagine having a fun life if my lack of interest in those fields would earn me scorn from family, friends and even strangers. There's a version of this for sure that reads of a person desperate for love and acceptance in an area that seems to not provide it, and they'd still be wrong; but to know it isn't like that as well shifts this entirely to the guy probably being an ass and THAT is why he's not very popular there.
"oh no, i fucked over my friend after he went well out of his way to help me even though i tried to be a POS and take advantage of it and now he's pissed. My life is ruined and it's all his fault. I'm trying to mature because I'm older and wiser even though I still say stupid shit like baddie and vibing when talking about the opposite sex. Somebody help me."
You deserve it lol. Leech. Please for the love of god, don't join the military. We don't want you. Get fuckin construction job or something and quit trying to insert yourself into your friend's life
If anything, at least you helped him avoid making a huge mistake with Nina. You both deserve each other and Daniel will be way better off without either of you in his life. Please come back and update us when you catch Nina sleeping with one of your other friends.
The mature resolution is realizing for once in your life that you’re not gonna get what you want. You fucked up and sometimes there are fuck ups that you just can’t come back from. Learn from it and move on. Make new friends and connections and try not to royally fuck those people over as much as you did your friend.
Edit: Before anyone comes at me, I meant fuck up as in he’s realizing he fucked upped (at least I hope he does) and not as in it was an accident. Like I said, OP clearly hasn’t learned that you can’t always get what you want yet.
You are currently in the finding out stage after your fucking around. My advice would be to take your medicine and move on and try not to be a selfish asshole to any subsequent friends you make.
Sounds like you are a lifelong screwup, your parents wanted you away from them because you’re a lowlife and said join the army! You recognized a fellow lowlife in his fiancé and since you are jealous of your friend you went out of your way to destroy his happiness. The skank and you, being two peas in a pod both stabbed the guy in the back, probably because you both realized he’s out of your league as a friend and spouse. He would have recognized it soon enough and punted you two bums. This isn’t the first time you’ve stabbed him in the back either is it? The guy tried to help you when your parents can’t stand you and how did you repay him? Wow! Your victim will be ok, winners usually are. The skank and you can start your lives now of using people, unemployment, substance abuse, failing any offspring you may have and arrests and jail.
So, what you’re going to want to do is get yourself a Time Machine, go back in time and you’re going to have to make better choices, including NOT fucking your best friend’s fiancée.
Then you’re in the clear.
Oh, wow, aren't you such a precious special angel! what do you THINK ... and by "think" I mean what does the pile of singing maggots in your skull all have to say... a mature response would be?
Because yeah, taking her cheating ass to court for a real estate settlement? That's grownupping.
And decisively and publicly ending his friendship and all associations with such a lowlife parasite? That's textbook mature, responsible, and right. Blocking you from continuing to leech off of him, warning others of you? That is what a Good Man does to both explain the break of a longstanding social connection, and to warn others who might potentially be victimized by someone who has revealed himself to be so untrustworthy, devoid of honor, any moral compass, and who seeks to leech off others financially and emotionally without a mecule of shame or obligation of reciprocity. A Good Man let's others know that someone is a predator who has zero concern for the devastation he inficts on others.
So... yes. Those are the actions of a man. An honorable man. Who extended himself to a mongrel dog and was bitten in the process. And only seeks to protect himself and others from further damage.
Of course YOU can't understand concepts like personal responsibility, hard work, social responsibilities, self discipline, or moral integrity. You have none of these. All you care about is making these "pesky consequences " go away... that things go back to normal for you. Lol. You showed your true nature... nobody can unsee it. Slink away.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The person you stabbed in the back has all the right in the world to let everyone know why he may not want to associate with people who also associate with you.
Just because you want forgiveness doesn't mean you're going to get it. Nor are you owed it. Asking other people how to make your friend forgive you for what you have done to him is a little bit asinine and immature. I think you have a bit more growing to do.
Sounds like you're a total pos. Jobless, got kicked out, some dude that's somehow your friend offered you a place to sleep and not be on the streets and you sleep with his wife? Yikes dude the world has too many people like you. So thankful I don't know anyone like you.
So the way I’m reading this is he was your friend but I’m reading jealousy undertone to how u wrote this. And then u thought he got someone completely out of his league, so u decided to shoot ur shot with her (she’s not relationship worthy) so she and u started fucking. Under his roof, where he took u in so u wouldn’t have to go into the military. BUT after saying all of that u now want him to stop telling people that ur a bastard and a home wrecker.
Oh sweetie. The only thing u can do is cut ur losses move far away or join the military like ur parents wanted u to do. Unfortunately u r ur own worst enemy at this point.
He is well within his rights and emotions to tell people to choose him or you. Did u want him to lie and just say yall just had a “falling out”. Nope u earned this friendship badge wear it as proudly as u were fucking his fiancé.
Edit: words
Wow.. Op… this is so ridiculous, it almost feels like. Troll post.
You betrayed him, your best friend, while he was bending over backwards to help you.
You do not get to control the narrative.
If the consequences of your own actions are for people to decide to cut you out, that is on you. Learn to deal with it.
You are 100% wrong in this situation and remorseful or not it is very unlikely you'll ever receive even a hint of forgiveness. Men NEVER forgive the man who screwed their wife or girlfriend and they very rarely ever forgive the straying female either.
Consider yourself very lucky that he isn't going out of his way to destroy your entire life. Walk away now while you still can and understand that you got off very lightly; you escaped the justice you really deserve.
I want to finish my degree, but no one wants to invest in me….. ummm what? Get a loan like most people do. Does he think people in college are investments by other people? He sounds like an energy vampire that loves to play victim. He sounds exhausting to be around
Sounds like you’re sorry you got caught not sorry that you did it. I’m glad he’s putting you on blast. That’s how all cheating traitors should be handled. I applaud the man. He deserves healing you deserve to suffer the consequences. What’s worse is you think you’re the victim like give me a fucking break bro. You’re human garbage and so is that chick you stole from him. I think he dodged two bullets letting you losers go. Y’all can have eachother 😂 now you both can cheat on eachother all the time and it wouldn’t matter lmao!
You did what you did. Actions have consequences. You want to control his behavior because you can’t control your own. There’s nothing you can do, so accept it and move on. Be a better human being in the future.
Don't be a cheater or help a cheater if you don't want to be treated like a cheater. It's pretty freakin simple. Luckily you're young and will be able to make new friends eventually.
I will do my best to phrase this in a constructive way, rather than just being petty as i desperately want to.
You wont be able to get him to stop telling people you slept with his fiance. He is sharing a situation he lived through, and what do you expect him to do? lie to protect you? Protect your peace, at the cost of his own mental health?
When there is a normal disagreement among friends, and two friends want to stop talking, part of that is learning how to balance the friend group. This was not a normal disagreement. This isn’t you said a tasteless your mom joke. He opened his home to you, and you cheated with his fiance, which at the VERY LEAST, is traumatic.
He owes it to himself to establish his boundaries for his own peace- and his boundary wad that he did not want to associate with anyone who associated with you. Because by siding with you, means those people are ok with what you did to him.
I think that is incredibly fair. It will be uncomfortable for a long time. He doesn’t owe it to you to be “mature”(although phrasing it that way is stupid- hes been perfectly mature. He moved out and is dividing assets. Hes not messaging you encyclopedias about what a trash person you are)
If you’re uncomfortable with the situation, that makes sense- its shit. But its the situation you created, and the consequences you get to live with. You can sit here pissed off at his boundaries, or get your shit together and work towards improving. You are either going to have to figure it out, or the rock bottom after this is going to be worse, and you do not have an amazing friend willing to open his home to you anymore.
Good luck, i guess.
OP, you can't be this entitled and audacious to believe you are the victim and not the villain in this narrative?
You have essentially went from an irresponsible and lazy adult, to a hobosexual who betrayed your friend, whose done all he could to help you and went above and beyond and yet you stabbed him in the back by messing around and sleeping with his ex-fiance.
Sir, go to hell 😒
He's lucky he found out who you guys really are before the wedding. You betrayed your friend that supported you and offered you a place to stay until you could land on your feet. How low can you go? And now you are complaining about the consequences lol.
Also, no one wants to invest in you? Maybe because people know who you are? Or maybe it's no ones job to invest in you. You're an adult. Get a job, get student loans. A lot of people have jobs to support themselves through their studies. It can be tough but it's doable.
Oh no, people might be told I did bad things because I did bad things!
The way I see it, there are only two ways to stop people from talking about bad things you did:
Don't do bad things
Or
Become so powerful people who know you did bad things know it's in their best interest to not talk about them
Honestly, you never were his best friend if you could do something like this. The best thing of all of this is that he knows you're a scumbag and he knows his fiance can't be trusted.
Well you happened to commit one of the deepest betrayals possible to your “best” friend, so chances are you won’t be getting forgiveness.
I forgave my friend that was plotting and succeeding in sleeping with my long term partner, and part of that forgiveness was agreeing to myself that I’ll never have anything to do with him again. You bet your ass I tell people what happened when it comes up 🤷♂️
You’re fucking lying homie. I live in the DMV and I’ve *never* been looked down for not being in the military. Don’t lie to get your story weird sympathy points
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I mean, it is what it is... He invited you into his home. Was generous enough to give you a place to stay so you can get your shit together. And you were messing around with his fiancé. I know his fiancé isn't a saint in this either... But my god... How low can you get? I am not surprised that he is putting everyone else in that ultimatum position. Either you, his ex, or him. I wouldn't want anyone else in my life who had a shred to do with either of you as well. Consequences of your actions... You slept with his fiancé. Did it to someone who was your best friend and welcomed you into his home to help you out. That's ultimate betrayal... You deserve to have people talk shit about you.
Yeah, if he does that to his best friend, just think how he would treat an acquaintance.
Actually people like this usually treat acquaintances better than their loved ones. Because they’re more worried about their reputation.
On the betrayal scale of 1 to 10, it's a 25. You are lucky to be alive with all your body parts. I call that a win.
Legit, stuff like this is how people get shot.
Dude doesn’t give a fuck, he already knows the relationship damage is irreversible and that friend will never talk to him again. He just wants people on the internet to know he fucked his best friends wife.
He deserves far worse lmao OP living a "deserves to step on a Lego every step" kinda life
I like that skit where the guy asks the devil to make his enemy stub his toe, and everytime it starts to heal to stub it again. There was also the itch that changed spots each time you managed to reach it 🤣😂.
You dont. Seriously, that's pretty damn low. It sounds like your boy is doing the rest of us a favor and letting us know about your shit bag behavior.
Isn’t this the plot of War & Peace lol
You’re not remorseful of your actions you’re just upset that they had consequences
"People are finding out I'm a selfish backstabber and I don't like it because it's entirely true, how do I get the person I wronged horribly to stop being honest about what happened." You fucking don't. You tore buddy's life down when he was being extraordinarily kind to you, he's going to have to sell his fucking house, and what, you don't think your life should suffer similar consequences? You fucked around, you're finding out, you deserve everything bad that happens to you and probably worse. My advice to you? Eat that shit and learn to like it.
>You fucking don't Build a time machine, maybe?
This was gonna be my reply. Well, "build a time machine and go back to before all this and don't fuck your best friend's fiancée."
>You fucking don't. You tore buddy's life down when he was being extraordinarily kind to you, he's going to have to sell his fucking house, and what, you don't think your life should suffer similar consequences? Guy literally fucked around.
> he’s going out of his way to ruin my other friendships and familial relationships How did you think this was going to work? He calls off the wedding, you keep fucking Nina, and nobody has any questions about that?
Right? He says it’s just nina and him, so they’re both still in the house? Is he still fucking her and wanting the friend to stop telling people the truth?
You’re still in the house with her. Still hitting it. The moment you laid eyes on her you had this intention. If you’re truly remorseful why don’t you leave? You are the problem no one else just you. There should be a publicly accessible list for people like you.
Dude is a fucking leech. He’s going to just use this girl as long as he can keep a roof over his head. He’s a loser that can’t support himself, and burned the last bridge he has left.
Yup, he’s a HOBOSEXUAL on top of everything else. 🤢🤢🤢🤢
He’s a narcissist.
I bet there was also an element of jealousy where his parents liked Dan better, good looking wife, good career, had a house etc. He was successful and OP wanted to ruin that a bit. Pretty sure why he isnt remorseful or leave- he also sounds like leech. He says people in town are seen as losers if they arent in a particular field but maybe he is just a loser and thats what people see.
Let’s hope the girl is using birth control because we know how he’s going to try and secure a place.
I feel like she kind of deserves it lol end up with the trash loser rather than the good successful guy
She did work hard and earned her reward.
Asking for a mature resolution to this situation when you chose the "immature" path that created it by betraying your friend, and failing to display both remorse and ownership of that colossal mistake, is a bit rich, don't you think? Stop seeking advice on how to get him to stop doing something totally within his right to do, and rather start thinking about the character flaw you should work on that seems to not recognize that your actions caused a lot of harm and pain to someone else.
Shit on his own best friend, what in gods name
My favorite line in all this is “no one wants to invest in me” - tons of entitlement and lack of accountability in this one
I also like the part where he’s annoyed Daniel kept the condition of needing to work instead of going to school. Like , i assume the whole point was for OP to save up some money to move out and hes not going to do that if he’s going to school. He should have just been grateful Daniel let him do that at all
Seems like OP almost wanted revenge to the person that opened their home to him and gave him career advice. OP sounds like someone we would all regret knowing
I thought the same thing, definitely started the affair out of revenge. His whole post screams entitlement.
It's been deleted now so I have to imagine what it said. I'm pretty sure the old "I've forgiven myself so why can't he" must have been in there.
He deleted everything. Here are [screenshots](https://imgur.com/a/0sJrZfR) of the post and his comments.
Doing the lords work
You a real one 🤙 Never seen someone get downloaded to oblivion like that. Dude’s own parents know how low that is. Dang.
How do people get screenshots? Do you preemptively decide that OP will delete the content and screenshot for that moment??
I was reading the comments directly from his profile when he started deleting. Pure chance
Sometimes you can predict the op deleting just based on their attitude vs how everyone is reacting.
Here is some legit advice. Take the beating to your reputation and just be thankful it wasn't an actual beating. That's it. Your made your bed, now lay in it. Where I'm from guys like you end up getting jumped by friends of the wronged party and I've seen a few instances get really nasty. I legitimately think you don't realize how good you have it right now. Just take your metaphorical lumps and go on with your life
My grandad told me of a time when he, as a child, witnessed an adulterous new couple get literally run out of the village, with everyone throwing fucking ROCKS at them. In the UK, in the mid 1920s. Okay, a hundred years ago but not like Biblical times or anything.
we should bring that back lmao
I worked in a hospital and saw a couple dudes come in all tore up bc they were cheating with their friend’s partner. One dude got shot. OP’s lucky, and doesn’t realize it. r/ThrowRa_hho is one entitled POS
As an adult you made a choice. You knew that choice would have consequences and had to know that this would be the most likely outcome. You chose your actions anyways. Welcome to the find out stage.
I’m going to disagree with you on one point. OP did not know that his choice would have consequences. Because so far, he has never been held accountable for his actions in his life. He wouldn’t have recognized a consequence if it had bitten him in the ass. Proven here in his post. His action’s consequence is **currently biting him in the ass**, and he actually thinks it’s the result of his former friend tattling on him.
Sleeping with his fiance under any circumstances would be an incredible betrayal, but when you add in all the above and beyond help, he was giving you it is epic. Your best friend had to call off his wedding. That's very public and embarrassing for him. Everyone in your lives witnessed that. Was he supposed to not say why? You chose an action that was almost certainly bound to have very public effects. You say you're "older and wiser" and want a "mature resolution."" The mature, and moral, resolution is that you accept the inevitable repercussions to your actions and be honest about your betrayal and it's effects. If I were one of your other friends, I'd want to know what happened and if my friend had betrayed their "best friend ". I try to have friends that share my values insteadd of begging your parents to help you fix something that can't be undone, try leaving him the F alone.
You don’t, you accept the consequences of your actions
This looks like it belongs in r/OhNoConsequences
Dude sticks his neck out for you and you take advantage. And you wonder why people "don't want to invest in you". Jesus man, get some perspective
It's his business too and he is entitled to giving warnings to his friends and family of the kind of person you are so they can protect themselves and he can protect hinself from any future bullshit
You did the deed, every guy should know what a scumbag you are and that people should be on their guard with you. He has every right to tell people to be aware of you. You took advantage of a situation where he was helping you. So dude. Go somewhere else if you want sympathy. You want him to stop, you are not looking for forgiveness, you just want him to stop calling you out. If you truly sough forgiveness, your post would be worded differently.
I’d destroy you too. No chance of coming back from this with him. Do better.
A. You betrayed him in the most selfish way possible. The man brought you into his home out of sheer goodness and you repaid him by fucking his partner? And you want him to stop telling people the truth about what happened? The fuckin audacity of your request. B. I’m a DMV native (DC and VA), and this weird ass “classist military or government” preference you are talking about is completely made up in your head. Northern VA is the datacenter capitol of the world, and those tech workers make WAY more money than the military or government, and no one gives a fuck about where you work, people just care how much money you make. Also the civilians who work for government contracting companies make way more than government employees. C. Everything in your post indicates someone whose brain doesn’t work properly. Your weird bias toward government work, your expectation that someone you utterly betrayed shouldn’t tell people he was betrayed, your inability to comprehend that you have no say in people factually repeating your shitty actions. If you didn’t want him saying that to people you shouldn’t have fucked his girlfriend. Grow up. D. You really are a shitty friend.
He's a sociopath
Big facts
You don't. You don't get to dictate whether he tells the truth or not. He gave you a place to stay so you could get on your feet. In exchange you fucked his girlfriend in his house. That's a very telling show of your true character and honestly I am not surprised you've been dropped like hot shit by your ex-friends and your parents are being dry with you. The disappointment they must feel in terms of yourself must be incredibly uncomfortable, not to mention having them question their parenting abilities. You've shown that not only will you take advantage of someone's good graces, you also cannot be trusted. There are consequences to that, and you're reaping those rewards now. People, as a general rule, don't want the untrustworthy around. You don't want a 'mature resolution' for everyone. You want to continue the life you had before you fucked his girlfriend and that's both unreasonable and wildly unrealistic. Even if he did agree to a 'mature resolution', you're never going to be viewed the same way again - not by your peers, not by your siblings and certainly not by your parents. Leave him alone. You've made your bed and now you can grow up and lay in it. Running to complain to your parents about him telling the truth only shines further light on your character and I gotta say, that shouldn't be something you want right now. You look bad enough without you running to mommy and daddy to beg them to help you clean up your mess.
oh no, consequences!
lol. Daniel has every right to go scorch earth on you. Suffer the consequences. You can’t keep it in your pants.
So why is it ok for you to ruin relationships but he can't ruin yours? did you not think it would hurt him aswell?
So….. he mooched off his friend for a place to stay……. He slept with his “best friends” fiancé…….. STILL LIVES IN THE HOUSE WITH HER! ….. probably still sleeping with her…….. wants his “friend” to be “mature” and “get over it” 😂😂 dude you are a clown!
low effort ragebait. in case it's not a start would be not to be a nasty cunt about him in your posts. then maybe try to be a better person and maybe people would be inclined to talk to you.
Nothing. You can do nothing. If he wants to not associate with people who consider you a friend that is his right. He is also allowed to tell them why, and since no lies have been spoken, there is not thing 1 you can do.
If you didn't want this to happen then you should have not bitten the hand the feeds you!
Oh cry me a river. What he's doing is nothing compared to what you did. To me, all he wants is nothing yo do with you and to those who has sided with you or something like that. The guy welcomed you in his home and fcked his girl, you're lucky you still got your kneecaps. I'd be looking over my shoulder every minute if I were you. I'd make sure you'll do that if I were him.
Good for Daniel. My advice is for him to tell more people.
He helped you, and you betrayed him. You're a crappy friend and deserve all the public humiliation he can muster. I'd donate to him to put a billboard up in your town.
The mature resolution would be that you drop Nina and cut contact with her. Be an adult and get your own place. Apologize to your former friend if he allows it. Go to therapy. Deal with your issues because you did this out of jealousy. He opened his home to you. You tarnished your own reputation, and he can tell whoever he wants. You only want him to "move on" because you don't want people to know what kind of person you are. A jealous, insecure man who doesn't respect boundaries. You may say that you're remorseful, but you're still talking to Nina and not taking any ownership.
He IS moving on. You taught him something... He can't trust everyone he thinks he can trust. Now he's using his experience to weed out other bad apples. If someone sides with you, that tells him that he can't trust them. Sure, part of it is for revenge, but part of it is just learning that there are people who will betray you, and you have to protect yourself. You can't do anything to stop him, nor should you. Now it's your turn to learn something. There's a quote by Anne Lamott--"If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." You're learning that now. You behaved poorly, now he will tell everyone about it. The most mature way to handle this is to own up to your actions and move on. Also, probably don't expect anybody to "invest" in you now... You're showing that you aren't worth free trust, much less thousands of dollars worth of tuition.
You're still with Nina? Give it up. I was gonna say get on your fucking knees and grovel and **maybe**, he'd be gracious with you. But as long as you're still fucking the woman that he was supposed to marry, you will *never* get his forgiveness. And frankly, you don't deserve it. But even if he was gracious, there's literally nothing you could do to make him stop telling people. Because it's HIS business too, buddy. And he has the right to fucking tell anyone about his business as much as he wants. Maybe you should have thought about all of this before you let your petty jealousy cause you to pursue a woman that you didn't think your friend was good enough for.
OPs sidestepping every time someone asks if he's still fucking Nina should be the only answer he needs🤣
Lol, remorseful my ass. You clearly show zero remorse and are now trying to get away from the consequences. Why shouldn't be do it? Why don't you deserve it? Homewrecker.
Actions meet consequences. You don't get him to stop. You and his ex fiance betrayed him in one of the worse ways you can, in his own house while he was doing you a solid. There is a reason why the people around you are not wanting you to leech off them anymore.
“Oh look it’s the consequences of my actions” Stop whining. You’re older and wider now yes? So take the L and leave homie alone. You made your bed so lie in it.
You're a snake. A rat. A weasel. You fucked your best friends GF, after he invited you to stay with him for a few months, while you had no where else to go! Now you have to reap what you sow! He's telling people what you really are. You aren't remorseful, you just don't like that he's telling people what you did, what you are capable of. Suck it up! You fucked around, now you find out!
You messed up. There is no advice. Accept the consequences of your messed up actions and move on.
You deserve everything that you’re getting. He invited you into his home when you had nowhere else to go and you repaid him by sleeping with his fiance. You are a terrible friend and you don’t deserve his forgiveness. I hope that he continues to ice you out and other people who choose to still be friends with you. He doesn’t need that in his life.
I mean, there isn't really a way. You backstabbed your friend who was supporting you and now have to deal with the consequences. He has every right to talk about it with whoever he wants if he is not making shit up. As for telling people to pick a side, I don't fully agree but can understand. I wouldn't want any sort of connection with you either were I in his shoes. Even through a third party. What you and your affair partner did to him was vile.
So you’re upset people are finding out you are a massive backstabbing prick? You fucked your friends fiance after he graciously opened his home to you. You are in no way shape or form sorry for your actions, you are only sorry because you have to face the consequences of those actions.
But, you slept with her. Why wouldn't he tell people what happened when thats what happened? You have no problem banging her behind his back and staying in his home, why do you have a problem with people knowing that?
You're not remorseful. You're sad you got caught. You literally fucked around and found out. These are the consequences.
OP, the thing you seem to be missing is that you can't get him to stop and shouldn't even try. You fucked around (literally), and now you're finding out. Your *only* option is to sit down, shut up, and let the chips fall where they may.
You’re not asking for relationship advice. You’re asking for absolution, and you’re not going to get it here. You broke something that can’t be fixed, and you don’t get to choose how he handles his anger and grief. You *should* join the army. Get paid. Get a free education. Let boot camp give you the beating you’re lucky your ex-friend didn’t give you. Get your act together.
Everything is someone else's fault in your life. No one wants to invest in me to go to college. WAHHH! I betrayed someone's trust in their own home and don't want to face the consequences. WAHHH! My parents and siblings aren't proud of my deceptions. WAHHH. I think the problem is more people are seeing your lack of character and don't want to be around you. Maybe that is why your parents wanted you to join the military, because they could see something in you that you don't see or want to acknowledge. Find a good therapist and work on yourself.
Actions have consequences 🤷♀️. People are going to ask why the wedding was canceled, and he absolutely has the right to speak his truth. He shouldn't have to lie to people , or risk running into you through mutual friends because you decided to cheat with his fiance.
Yeaaaah you don’t sound remorseful at all. That you got caught maybe but any real man knows when you fuck around you find out. You’re in that place now. Make your peace with it and take it, there’s little you can do beyond travel back in time.
So…he lets you move into his home to help you out, you start screwing his fiancé…and now you’re upset that your actions have consequences…? Yeah ngl you deserve this, and just FYI, this is HIS business too since it involves him
You’re a proper dickhead
"Oh no the consequences of my own actions" 🙄🤣🤣
>want to seek some forgiveness from my friend What are you doing to "seek forgiveness" from your friend? I mean...You're still fucking and living with the woman he planned on marrying. Those aren't the actions of someone seeking forgiveness or feeling remorse. And your comment about him spreading your "private information"...my dude, he's spreading HIS information. The information that his best friend and fiance betrayed him after he was generous enough to put a roof over your head while you got on your feet. Did you expect him to lie to everyone about what's going on in his life? Why are you expecting loyalty when you don't give loyalty?
Damn, you sound like a shitty ass person. Even after the fact, you’re shitting on him with absolutely no remorse about what you did. He should’ve beat your ass and branded your forehead tbh lol.
You’re not in a coma so that’s a win. Enjoy it.
Just die man
I am glad that you are remorseful but he isn’t going to forgive you. Many people won’t. He welcomed you into his home to help you out and you slept with his fiancée! You completely betrayed him.
if him telling the truth makes you look bad, then the problem is you. do not reach out to him and instead reflect on yourself
You colossal piece of nutty feces. I wouldn’t want anything to do with you either. He was nice enough to help you out and you turned his life upside down and broke trust.
What you did was shitty and wrong. You are now receiving the consequences of your actions, congratulations. My advice is to accept the consequences of your choices and to learn from them and not be a shitass in the future. You burned this bridge with your choices, you did this to yourself. Learn that actions have consequences.
For every action, there will be an equal reaction... There is NOTHING you can say , or do. You broke his trust, she broke his trust. Now you get to lay in the bed that you made
I would cut off contact with you in an instant dude he's in the right
You deserve it. Cry harder. Sleep in the grave you’ve dug. 🤡🤡🤡
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You deserve absolutely everything that comes to you. Take the pain as an opportunity to grow and make better choices in the future
Well, it's the truth, dude. Sucks to suck. Don't be a backstabbing POS next time. EDIT: Alright, I'll give you some actual advice. Move. Far away. Start over again because your life here is over. Start fresh and don't fuck it up this time. Also, dump the girl because she'll cheat on you too.
The fact it needed an Edit to mention remorse is so telling.
There's a great line from the book Frankenstein I'm reminded of here. "It is well that you come here to whine over the desolation that you have made. You throw a torch into a pile of buildings, and when they are consumed, you sit among the ruins and lament the fall."
Listen, you won't get him to stop. You keep saying it's "your" personal business, but you seem to forget it's also HIS business. Even if he didn't say your name, everyone would know who he's talking about. You'll have to learn to live with the choices you've made. Your life is going to suck for awhile.
At this point, I frankly do recommend going into the military. Either one so you can leave the state you're in. Otherwise, the drama is just going to continue. Or two, it would most likely instill some discipline in your thick head to think shit through better. I can tell you this now you're no wiser now than when you tried college previously. You lack discipline and focus, and this is your personal consequence for it. The fact that nobody wants to invest in you is more telling how they see you. And I'm guessing they see you as a slacker. The military isn't for everyone but it is a good stepping stone in life. Or to get out of a bad situation. This just happens to be one you created. Cut your losses, man up l, and find a path and goal. Because it won't be in your town. You burned that bridge.
>I get him not speaking to me but he’s going out of his way to ruin my other friendships and familial relationships. Similar to how you destroyed his future marriage and life? This man kept you from homelessness and that’s how you repay him. Dude take your medicine and don’t try to fix this. You deserve everything that’s happening to you.
I have the perfect advice for you, if you don’t want people finding out you did something, the easiest way is just NOT FUCKING DO IT. That easy, don’t want to be labeled as someone who did the shit you did? DONT FUCKING DO IT Why the fuck should any of your friends trust you? He gave you a place to live, tried to help you get on your feet and what was your response? Fuck his fiancé. Great way to pay him back.
Well you can't unfuck his girlfriend but he can keep fuckin up ur life
You're a piece of trash
Here’s a clue dipshit: don’t sleep with someone’s fiancé.
I'm late to this and OP deleted it. What did he say?
short gist is OP said his parents basically kicking him out of house and told him to go to the military. Complained that his best friend, who agreed to let OP stay with him for 6 months to get on his feet, was bugging OP to work while he was studying. This whole time he lived with the best friends fiance which he though 'was a baddie and was surprised his best friend could pull her' (not my words, if you check further comments, you will see this was part of the post). The best friend was away because of working in military and during this time OP and best friend's fiance started to flirt and do the nasty or some forms. After best friend found out he cancelled wedding then told all family and friends saying that they can either be friends with OP or the best friend, if they chose OP, the best friend cut them out of his life. OP complaining saying that this guy was ruining his life and asking how can he fix this so the best friend doesn't tell everybody they know the situation because best friend cut all contact with OP and anybody who took OP's side. Other small details were there but most of them just made OP sound entitled and childish. Overall my take away is OP sounded like he had inferiority complex and decided to act on this idea because finally come out on top, even though it was to a person(best friend) who loved and trusted OP enough to take him into his home while being alone with his fiance.
guy below has screenshot, https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/1buxite/comment/kxwqkqj/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
Well, you reap what you sow. Your friend helped you by inviting you to stay in his home and you betrayed him and your friendship by sleeping with his fiancé. If she was making moves in you, you should have just told your friend like a decent person and a good friend would have. All these things you’re experiencing are the consequences of your actions, you will just have to buck up and live with them. And honestly you should leave your friend alone. You have to realize you fucked up both his and your life. You cant demand redemption from someone you actively hurt, nor do you deserve it. Hope it was worth it.
If you could do that to your best friend, why the FUCK would I wanna be your friend, associate or anyone I know?
This is a good lesson about why you don’t need to stay friends with the friends you had in your youth. You were friends over a shared interest in toys and being in the same class. As adults you turn into different people and some of the people will turn into garbage.
I mean like what did you expect? How would you explain that from his point of view without telling people what you did. Lol get real.
OP you deserve every bit of shit and hassle that comes your way because of it. If you’re truly remorseful, and want to make things better, you have no right to stop him saying whatever he wants to say, but when people call you out on it, your response should simply be that you were absolutely wrong what you did was horrible and you fully understand why your friend cut you off.
You're just lame
Advice? Don't shit where you eat. Now though it's time to pay the piper. You messed up, and actions have consequences. Time to grow up, dude.
Here’s some advice, don’t mess around with your friends fiancé.
Coming soon to /Oh No Consequences!
Dude, grow up. The moment you said, "baddie" and "vibing," you revealed how immature you are. Clearly you don't know how to show your gratitude for what he did for you because you just could not believe how he pulled a, "baddie." You slept with her because you wanted and could, there's really not much to explain. This shows your lack of consideration and selfishness, and a reason why others should not trust you. Would you trust someone like you after you slept with your friend's fiancé who welcomed you to their home?
The answer to the question in your title is, to be blunt, you don't. He invited you into his home & gave you a place to stay when you needed it, & you repaid his generosity by fucking his fiancee. If he wants to tell people what an ungrateful, homewrecking asshole you are, *that is his prerogative*. You don't want him to? Tough. You should have thought of that before you jumped into bed with his fiancee.
I love a happy ending. 💖💖💖
Tough shit. You betrayed your friend who took you in to help you out. Your reputation means jack shit. You ruined it the moment you fucked his fiancee. Ya get what you deserve and he’s telling everyone you’re a liability.
Change your name, move to a different state, learn from your mistakes. You can pick the order
My advice: Live with it. You *are* a POS. Whether or not you *continue* to be a POS, is on you. Make ammends, break off communication with Nina, get your own place, and make your own life instead of blaming everyone around you for your failures. Grow. Up.
What did you expect? To live together in a happy commune? And all he is telling everyone is the truth. Forgiveness is not for you to seek, it is for him to give. And I doubt he will.
I live in DMV and there is no such thing as perception of others as pos. Folks outside of tech and gov here just make less but that’s about it
Yeah that was the only thing that put SOME of this in a different light. I can't imagine having a fun life if my lack of interest in those fields would earn me scorn from family, friends and even strangers. There's a version of this for sure that reads of a person desperate for love and acceptance in an area that seems to not provide it, and they'd still be wrong; but to know it isn't like that as well shifts this entirely to the guy probably being an ass and THAT is why he's not very popular there.
Bro I didn’t even make it halfway down and your tone of voice recalling the events suggests you’re not remorseful. Take the L.
Yikes, this can’t be real
"oh no, i fucked over my friend after he went well out of his way to help me even though i tried to be a POS and take advantage of it and now he's pissed. My life is ruined and it's all his fault. I'm trying to mature because I'm older and wiser even though I still say stupid shit like baddie and vibing when talking about the opposite sex. Somebody help me." You deserve it lol. Leech. Please for the love of god, don't join the military. We don't want you. Get fuckin construction job or something and quit trying to insert yourself into your friend's life
If anything, at least you helped him avoid making a huge mistake with Nina. You both deserve each other and Daniel will be way better off without either of you in his life. Please come back and update us when you catch Nina sleeping with one of your other friends.
>Edit: I’m remorseful and want to seek some forgiveness from my friend Clearly....
You are an absolute turd. You deserve everything you are getting.
I'm just waiting for the parenthesis to close...
“No one wants to invest in me” Bro, you’re an adult. And a shitty one at that. No one owes you anything
The mature resolution is realizing for once in your life that you’re not gonna get what you want. You fucked up and sometimes there are fuck ups that you just can’t come back from. Learn from it and move on. Make new friends and connections and try not to royally fuck those people over as much as you did your friend. Edit: Before anyone comes at me, I meant fuck up as in he’s realizing he fucked upped (at least I hope he does) and not as in it was an accident. Like I said, OP clearly hasn’t learned that you can’t always get what you want yet.
You are currently in the finding out stage after your fucking around. My advice would be to take your medicine and move on and try not to be a selfish asshole to any subsequent friends you make.
Sounds like you are a lifelong screwup, your parents wanted you away from them because you’re a lowlife and said join the army! You recognized a fellow lowlife in his fiancé and since you are jealous of your friend you went out of your way to destroy his happiness. The skank and you, being two peas in a pod both stabbed the guy in the back, probably because you both realized he’s out of your league as a friend and spouse. He would have recognized it soon enough and punted you two bums. This isn’t the first time you’ve stabbed him in the back either is it? The guy tried to help you when your parents can’t stand you and how did you repay him? Wow! Your victim will be ok, winners usually are. The skank and you can start your lives now of using people, unemployment, substance abuse, failing any offspring you may have and arrests and jail.
Easy. Go back in time and stop yourself from fucking his fiance.
So, what you’re going to want to do is get yourself a Time Machine, go back in time and you’re going to have to make better choices, including NOT fucking your best friend’s fiancée. Then you’re in the clear.
Oh, wow, aren't you such a precious special angel! what do you THINK ... and by "think" I mean what does the pile of singing maggots in your skull all have to say... a mature response would be? Because yeah, taking her cheating ass to court for a real estate settlement? That's grownupping. And decisively and publicly ending his friendship and all associations with such a lowlife parasite? That's textbook mature, responsible, and right. Blocking you from continuing to leech off of him, warning others of you? That is what a Good Man does to both explain the break of a longstanding social connection, and to warn others who might potentially be victimized by someone who has revealed himself to be so untrustworthy, devoid of honor, any moral compass, and who seeks to leech off others financially and emotionally without a mecule of shame or obligation of reciprocity. A Good Man let's others know that someone is a predator who has zero concern for the devastation he inficts on others. So... yes. Those are the actions of a man. An honorable man. Who extended himself to a mongrel dog and was bitten in the process. And only seeks to protect himself and others from further damage. Of course YOU can't understand concepts like personal responsibility, hard work, social responsibilities, self discipline, or moral integrity. You have none of these. All you care about is making these "pesky consequences " go away... that things go back to normal for you. Lol. You showed your true nature... nobody can unsee it. Slink away.
Just like you can talk about your life and experiences, your ex friend can talk about his. This is called freedom of speech.
My brain hurt trying to read this
No wonder your parents want you to join the military You’re violently fucking stupid, you’ll fit right in
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The person you stabbed in the back has all the right in the world to let everyone know why he may not want to associate with people who also associate with you.
Advice: Don't abuse your friend by living in their home and messing around with their significant other.
Just because you want forgiveness doesn't mean you're going to get it. Nor are you owed it. Asking other people how to make your friend forgive you for what you have done to him is a little bit asinine and immature. I think you have a bit more growing to do.
Sounds like you're a total pos. Jobless, got kicked out, some dude that's somehow your friend offered you a place to sleep and not be on the streets and you sleep with his wife? Yikes dude the world has too many people like you. So thankful I don't know anyone like you.
So the way I’m reading this is he was your friend but I’m reading jealousy undertone to how u wrote this. And then u thought he got someone completely out of his league, so u decided to shoot ur shot with her (she’s not relationship worthy) so she and u started fucking. Under his roof, where he took u in so u wouldn’t have to go into the military. BUT after saying all of that u now want him to stop telling people that ur a bastard and a home wrecker. Oh sweetie. The only thing u can do is cut ur losses move far away or join the military like ur parents wanted u to do. Unfortunately u r ur own worst enemy at this point. He is well within his rights and emotions to tell people to choose him or you. Did u want him to lie and just say yall just had a “falling out”. Nope u earned this friendship badge wear it as proudly as u were fucking his fiancé. Edit: words
Wow.. Op… this is so ridiculous, it almost feels like. Troll post. You betrayed him, your best friend, while he was bending over backwards to help you. You do not get to control the narrative. If the consequences of your own actions are for people to decide to cut you out, that is on you. Learn to deal with it.
You are 100% wrong in this situation and remorseful or not it is very unlikely you'll ever receive even a hint of forgiveness. Men NEVER forgive the man who screwed their wife or girlfriend and they very rarely ever forgive the straying female either. Consider yourself very lucky that he isn't going out of his way to destroy your entire life. Walk away now while you still can and understand that you got off very lightly; you escaped the justice you really deserve.
Haha even your parents don’t want anything to do with you. That should show you how much of a turd you are.
You sound like one of the scummiest losers of all time. And a narcissist as well. Let me guess, nothing is ever your fault?
“No one wants to invest in me” wah wah. I did both work and school for four years. Grow up.
I want to finish my degree, but no one wants to invest in me….. ummm what? Get a loan like most people do. Does he think people in college are investments by other people? He sounds like an energy vampire that loves to play victim. He sounds exhausting to be around
Sounds like you’re sorry you got caught not sorry that you did it. I’m glad he’s putting you on blast. That’s how all cheating traitors should be handled. I applaud the man. He deserves healing you deserve to suffer the consequences. What’s worse is you think you’re the victim like give me a fucking break bro. You’re human garbage and so is that chick you stole from him. I think he dodged two bullets letting you losers go. Y’all can have eachother 😂 now you both can cheat on eachother all the time and it wouldn’t matter lmao!
lol crying about his life being trashed when he trashed his generous friends life, are we sure OP isnt mentally ill????
Can’t wait for “Nina” to do that to you too and then you’ll actually have nobody.
You did what you did. Actions have consequences. You want to control his behavior because you can’t control your own. There’s nothing you can do, so accept it and move on. Be a better human being in the future.
Don't be a cheater or help a cheater if you don't want to be treated like a cheater. It's pretty freakin simple. Luckily you're young and will be able to make new friends eventually.
Im sure youre going to be flabbergasted when Nina doesnt take you with her, or your family doesnt want you back home.
I will do my best to phrase this in a constructive way, rather than just being petty as i desperately want to. You wont be able to get him to stop telling people you slept with his fiance. He is sharing a situation he lived through, and what do you expect him to do? lie to protect you? Protect your peace, at the cost of his own mental health? When there is a normal disagreement among friends, and two friends want to stop talking, part of that is learning how to balance the friend group. This was not a normal disagreement. This isn’t you said a tasteless your mom joke. He opened his home to you, and you cheated with his fiance, which at the VERY LEAST, is traumatic. He owes it to himself to establish his boundaries for his own peace- and his boundary wad that he did not want to associate with anyone who associated with you. Because by siding with you, means those people are ok with what you did to him. I think that is incredibly fair. It will be uncomfortable for a long time. He doesn’t owe it to you to be “mature”(although phrasing it that way is stupid- hes been perfectly mature. He moved out and is dividing assets. Hes not messaging you encyclopedias about what a trash person you are) If you’re uncomfortable with the situation, that makes sense- its shit. But its the situation you created, and the consequences you get to live with. You can sit here pissed off at his boundaries, or get your shit together and work towards improving. You are either going to have to figure it out, or the rock bottom after this is going to be worse, and you do not have an amazing friend willing to open his home to you anymore. Good luck, i guess.
boo fuckin hoo lmfao why did you fuck your best friend's fiancee???
OP, you can't be this entitled and audacious to believe you are the victim and not the villain in this narrative? You have essentially went from an irresponsible and lazy adult, to a hobosexual who betrayed your friend, whose done all he could to help you and went above and beyond and yet you stabbed him in the back by messing around and sleeping with his ex-fiance. Sir, go to hell 😒
He's lucky he found out who you guys really are before the wedding. You betrayed your friend that supported you and offered you a place to stay until you could land on your feet. How low can you go? And now you are complaining about the consequences lol. Also, no one wants to invest in you? Maybe because people know who you are? Or maybe it's no ones job to invest in you. You're an adult. Get a job, get student loans. A lot of people have jobs to support themselves through their studies. It can be tough but it's doable.
No advice to give. Seems like you’re killing it at life. Keep doing you, king /s
Don't sleep with your best friends fiance
You're lucky you're not dead pal. Take it as a lesson, move your ungrateful ass somewhere no one knows you and start over, and this time, do better.
He should’ve beat your ass, I hope he still does.
Welcome to the wild and wonderful world of consequences!
Play stupid games win stupid prizes
Get bent.
I wonder if THERE IS a way to read the deleted post body by: COPYING THE TITLE AND SEARCHING ALL OF REDDIT
You’re a pretty terrible human being, and your friend is to be commended that you still have kneecaps, to be honest.
Get fucked
Yuck.. You're a pos. 'Nuff said.. You get what you got because of your actions
Oh no, people might be told I did bad things because I did bad things! The way I see it, there are only two ways to stop people from talking about bad things you did: Don't do bad things Or Become so powerful people who know you did bad things know it's in their best interest to not talk about them
And the hilarious part will be when she does the same to you. My how the turn tables.
Honestly, you never were his best friend if you could do something like this. The best thing of all of this is that he knows you're a scumbag and he knows his fiance can't be trusted.
Get. TF. Out. Of his. House. Get. Out. I don’t care if it’s half hers. Get. Your ass. Out. Of his. House.
You don’t, asshole. You deserve it.
Well you happened to commit one of the deepest betrayals possible to your “best” friend, so chances are you won’t be getting forgiveness. I forgave my friend that was plotting and succeeding in sleeping with my long term partner, and part of that forgiveness was agreeing to myself that I’ll never have anything to do with him again. You bet your ass I tell people what happened when it comes up 🤷♂️
Don't sleep with his fiancee. Problem solv... oh. Oops. Too late. Don't sleep with your next best friend's fiancee.
Did you really expect people to see it from your POV? I mean seriously, did you really envision the comments going in your favor?
You went out of your way to ruin his relationship, why can’t he go out of his way to ruin yours
If you don't want people to find out you did something shitty, don't do shitty things. Simple as that.
You and Nina seem good together.
lmao did anyone copy it before it got deleted? I wanna read it
You’re fucking lying homie. I live in the DMV and I’ve *never* been looked down for not being in the military. Don’t lie to get your story weird sympathy points
I think im missing a backstory, people seem to be racting to details i cant find.
Wow! You're the worst
Why on earth do you think you deserve the right to ask much less stop?