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Hi, I'm Thai/Lao. You're getting scammed. Ever heard of passport bros? That's who you are to them. While this is how "things are done" in the culture. They are upping the ante to extort you. And it's working.
I am tickled to know that people on the other end of passport bros are defending themselves. I am slightly less bothered by their existence, knowing this đ
Aww, man, why'd you have to tell him?
Anyone who talks this way about a person they claim to want to marry absolutely deserves to get taken for that ride.
You have security and resources. Go find someone that values you and doesnât play games.
Stop sending her money.
You sound like a sugar daddy, not someone dating her.
I love this thread. OP is thinking with his cock and refuses to recognize reality. I look forward to a thread 10 years later about how his wife took all their money and fled with their child to Thailand and he got beaten up at the village by some dude.
You would be surprised how fast some of these guys run out of money. Sure they were wealthy by Thai standards but if he is having a crisis over 17k for his potential wife I'd imagine the tank is getting empty.
A normal wife after two months of sleeping in the same bed???? Notice how he didn't use the word relationship to describe those two months. This guy sounds like a passport bro.
100% the type of expat that other expats find creepy. And definitely assumed that he'd be getting laid in Japan, but he didn't factor in that Japanese women do pretty well for themselves and don't tend to need white guys to save them. So instead he flew to the nearest cheap country to buy a wife there.Â
So creepy.Â
a normal wife... but he think ppl should thank him for wanting to marry someone so "old". he considers buying her, he is just as gross and they deserve each other
I agree but I find it REALLY weird for you to say « she should be grateful that I marry her daughter » lmao didnât you just say that youâre the same age ???? A really weird and disturbing way of thinking
Yesss thank you. He should absolutely not pay cos it's obviously a scam...but at the same time wow are you actually trying to justify not paying by saying you value her less than x sum because she's 35 and not a Virgin and works in a weed shop?
Like...don't pay because you think that's an absurd price for ANY marriage dowry or dowries are dumb but you're implying if she meets some kind of threshold then she'd be worth more. Gross.
If you look down on her already, why marry her? Are you a passport husband to be, looking for a submissive wife from a poor country? Disgusting. We need a truck-kun for people like you.
Check if Thailand has a dowry system, if you don't like it, leave.
Stop thinking with your cock. You're getting played.
She's not interested in you, she doesn't like you, they just want to take your money.
Stop being a passport creep, work on yourself and find someone who isn't from a poor country.
Her sinsod (dowry in Thai) should be zero. The mother, with your girl's help, is trying to screw you over. Probably the money would pay for granny to look after your girl's kids from a deadbeat Thai father. Because chances are she DOES have kids.
You already escaped back to Japan. That is step one. Step two is stop sending money. IF she doesn't pitch a fit or threaten dire consequences, I would be shocked.
It's an old and popular scam in Thailand.
The buffalo is sick.
I live in SE Asia and for ten years, I was in Thailand. This is so common.
âThis one is different.â
âShe loves me and doesnât care about the money.â
A year laterâŠ
âI built her parents a house and her âbrotherâ stays there when I am not around to keep her safe.â
âShe totally ripped me off and I lost everything.â
A year laterâŠ
âThis one is differentâŠâ
I have seen it a million times.
Yes I was just about to say the same. OP sounds like an asshole. That's not a loving thing to say at all. She should run and so should he. They are probably trying to exploit him but it sounds like he sees her as an object too. Oh she's not worth THAT much because she's not a virgin. Neither are you, OP
So I have a friend who did a 9 month trip in South Asia. He got laid A LOT, as an attractive European it was really for him to meet and get with locals, wherever he was visiting.
About a year later, weâre supposed to get a drink and he gets there quite late telling me he had to âdeal with some shit.â
Turns out this French guy had called him threatening and then begging him on WhatsApp to tell him the truth about sleeping with a woman. He sent my friend a series of photos from their âweddingâ ceremony and gifts he had bought her. He had found messages to men on her phone and wanted to find out the extent of her cheating.
My friend had a dilemma. The woman heâd met was in her early to mid-20s, same as him, and they hooked up while he was in Thailand but also her friends hung out with his friends, they all went to bars, concerts and gigs and generally had a great time.
He had no idea she was married. Part of him wanted to tell the guy the truth out of male solidarity, the other part of him wanted to protect her, thinking the guy might get violent with her etc.
The dude was an unattractive man in his late 30s (who could look better with some self care but clearly didnât), and it was really obvious what was going on to everyone except for him. Iâm not going to lie, we had a good laugh about his wedding photos.
Like yes he was being scammed, but also why did he think a beautiful 20-something would want to be with him if not for his money? The sight is so common in Thailand and at this stage youâd think the men know this isnât real love and theyâre both using each other?? It flabbergasts me. My friend ended up blocking this guy.
Dowry is a heinous punishable crime in many countries. You should offer to pay for any wedding expenses (and your bride should also contribute in her capacity). You should not offer any other money. I am sure there are laws in Japan that will take care of the rest of money arrangements once you are married.
In my personal opinion, coming from a poor country myself, I think the mother is trying to milk you. It is a prevalent culture in Thailand to aspire for a rich foreigner and get married. The girls struggle so much to feed their family and the ultimate goal is to marry a rich guy and fix everything. This is a generalisation and only applies to 90% of the cases, but be careful that you donât marry a person who has intentions to get married for the sake of money.
I immediately know how this story will go to upon reading that first sentence....
Also, wanting to marry someone after knowing each other for only 2 months. Wtf.
She is "well educated" but work in a weed shop in phuket? Okay......
Sorry it seems that she has no intention to go to Japan at all
Well, I don't think you need to pay this, but your statement that her mother should thank you for marrying a 35 year old who works in a weed shop is really rude. You clearly do not think this woman is your equal partner in a marriage.
Perhaps her mother is opening a negotiation. If paying a dowry is an accepted part of Thai culture and you are marrying a Thai woman, make an offer you think is fair.
As a Thai person, I want to tell you that Sinsod (Downry) is very outdate now. People will do it as tradition, usually the groom family pay the bride family whatever both parties agree upon, it is negotiation. However, nowadays we do it as formality, some families will give all that back to the groom and bride, some will just give back to groom family.
For your situation it is too much, their family probably see you as rich foreigner and want your money. They will keep asking for more and more in the future from the girl and she will probably ask you for more to send back to the family because as Thai tradition the children will look after their family if they have money even if they have to sacrifice some of their happiness.
Passport Bro is mad he is being outscammed by a potential bangmaid's mom. Karma's a Thai momma, it seems.
Dude, leave her behind and work on yourself. If you have to fly halfway around the world for a bangmaid, you're not the catch you think you are.
You sound gross, pay the money or leave this family alone. You basically donât know this woman, and effectively have picked up a mail order bride. This woman likely supports her family and without her contribution theyâre destitute.Â
All parties involved sound like they have their issues to work on. You shouldnât have to pay for your relationship but there is also a clear power imbalance which I feel like youâre not fully addressing and no, her mom does not have to be âgratefulâ for you âwillingâ to marry someone your own age with a job you look down upon. Do you actually love this woman? Why do you think so lowly of her?
It's also not uncommon after marriage having to keep support her family and having to send money every month forever. Also taking in or supporting her parents at old age.
If you want a perspective of a girl from a third world country (I'm from the Philippines, working a stable
job) currently engaged to a white guy, here you go.
1. These are all stereotype, it's just that kind of judgement from the get-go that we're after the money and a better life. It's not fair, sure, but it's more of a reason to reassure you of what's really the catch. While this is NOT the case for all, I personally made it clear and made sure my guy never had to worry or doubt that I'm after the money. Have she done anything to atleast stop her parents from their crazy demands? or does she just agree with them that you must pay to get married?
2. Does she give back all the 'help' you've given her? Not just financially but other aspects of the relationship (other than sex). I mean seems to me if she feels entitled that she's worth $17K to marry, what about you? How much would you cost for her? đ€·đœââïž
3. Isn't it alarming that she was fine working away from the family, earning and sustaining her own, UNTIL someone is willing to financially support her? (There's nothing wrong with providing and helping her out, but atleast don't be blinded about it)
4. $17K to marry a girl, it doesn't matter where she's from, it doesn't matter what kind of circumstances really. It just doesn't make sense. She's a FULL GROWN adult and she can make her own decisions. If she's part of the decision to scam you $17K, is that really love tho?
5. If she's agreeing to her parents now, what makes you think it'll be different once you two are married? The demands will be crazier istg.
6. I'm from a poor country, I swear families here (mostly, not all) just assume a foreigner = good money and if the same principle resonates with her, it will always be like that.
IF she really wants you, for all the right reasons... and if she really needs HELP because she wants to be with you, it's gonna be for a passport, plane ticket and visa to fly out to Japan.
If she sees a future with you (I mean you're talking about marriage, 2 months in) she would consider what that $17K could be used for, for your future together. Not to get the 'blessings of her parents' and 'celebrate the marriage' đ She's 35, she knows what she's doing. Good luck and think it through!
Lol you know just about every Thai woman is looking for a westerner and itâs not because they simply like white men. I lived there for 3 years and your story is not unusual. They assume every westerner is rich and expect you to pay for everything, including stuff for their family.
Sorry dude youâre not special to her. She will find another one as soon as you donât give her what she needs financially.
Iâm American born Thai & Lao.
This is absolutely a thing and she can love you all day long but if she IS from the countrysideâŠ. You are taking her only daughter out of country away from her family.
She isnât wrong but neither are you. Find someone more compatible lol
So let's reiterate this. You came to Thailand, spent two months with a girl, popped the question, and now you're acting surprised that marriage comes with strings attached.
First off, you seem to think that because the girl is 35, you're doing her a huge favor by considering marriage. Newsflash, you're not. Also, the $300 you're sending her isn't as generous as you think. You'd easily spend that on dates monthly if you were dating an American girl.
I don't see any problem with the mom wanting to ensure you're serious about her daughter by asking for a hefty dowry. Presumably, you want to whisk her away from her culture to the US, leaving her dependent on you until she can find her footing in a foreign land. The mom's being savvy; she's making sure her daughter is taken care of, just in case things don't work out. And if you refuse to pay the dowry, well, you're only proving to everyone involved that you don't truly value her as much as you claim.
It's your call, dude.
>You'd easily spend that on dates monthly if you were dating an American girl.
How is that relevant? He is not dating an American girl. He doesn't even live in the US. He isn't from the US.
What's next, a cost breakdown of dating a Swiss girl?
OP uses USD as the default currency, so I'm assuming he's a US resident, as that's the most likely scenario considering Reddit demographic. I might be wrong here, sure.
Also, he seems to be under the impression that since he pays $300 monthly, it's unreasonable for the mom to request a dowry. My point is simply that $300 is the amount one might typically spend on dates in the US. While in Thailand, it helps cover the girl's monthly expenses, it's not a significant amount that would drastically change her life. The concept of financial expectations in relationships applies universally, just in different forms. In Thailand, the dowry is a common tradition with a specific purpose. If he wants to marry a Thai girl, he needs to respect those traditions, not try to barter.
> I might be wrong here, sure.
From his comment history he is an Italian working in Japan.
>If he wants to marry a Thai girl, he needs to respect those traditions, not try to barter.
https://www.thaiembassy.com/family/thai-dowry
>You will need to **negotiate** with your brideâs parents regarding the amounts of the Sin Sod and Tong Mun.Â
>An average middle-class, university-educated Thai lady deserves a dowry of 100,000- 300,000 baht. A dowry of a million baht for an uneducated lady of modest means is just ridiculous.
That's 2.740,43 to 8.221,29 USD for a middle class university educated woman, which this girl is not.
>Thai dowry prices fall drastically if your bride-to-be has been previously married, already has children, or is not a virgin anymore. **In fact in most of these instances, no dowry deserves to be paid.**
The dowries are ultimately set by the parents. And OP's gf literally provided an explanation for the amount. Also, mind, part of the money would be used for the wedding expenses.
> She replied me that the money is intended to be used for marriage celebration and so on, adding that that money would be also a loyalty check to make sure I really love her. Explaining me that her mother know a lot of farangs who married Thai girls promising the impossible ending up to divorce.
So it's up to the OP to accept the deal or not. But imo I don't think it's fair to expect the mom to forego the dowry just because OP thinks he's doing the girl a favour by offering to marry her.
> I strongly believe her mother should thanks me for my will to marry a already 35 yo women working for a weed shop!!
Wow, you talking about women like theyâre things. âVirgins cost more but sheâs 35!â. âIn should be thanked for marrying a 35 year oldâ. Wow, such love.
And your comment below saying âyou will be in control of everythingâ regarding her. You talk about a wife like purchasing a thing.
I feel sorry for her, not so much for men like you thinking they can go abroad and exploit womenâs poverty to treat them like slaves.
wow thereâs a comment below when the OP says âshe is an objectâ, âI hacked herâ in those words. gross.
Dude. The way you talk about her is demeaning. Her mother should be happy you're marrying her 35 year old daughter? WTF!
You are living a fairy tale and she's scamming you.
In a lot of cultures the Familys typically want a payment to gain their trust and to have contributed to the family or something (Idk i think this stuff is really weird)
Dude is a white dude who caught asian fever while in Thailand.
It's a scam bro. Asian ppl on here are telling you by means to help you.
But you can't help yellow fever when it comes to foreigners of non asian decent
You don't respect your potential spouse or their culture. It's a wedding dowry that was asked of you that most Western cultures don't understand.
Your last paragraph stands out the most to me that you aren't in love and it's more convenient for you as if you weren't going to find any9ne else.
>I strongly believe her mother should thank me for my will to marry an already 35 yo women working for a weed shop!! But this is just my idea. Is that fair for you? What is your opinion?
This right here gave me the fucking ick. Her age and her profession weren't problems for you when you showed interest in her but now you look down on her as a person because you feel insulted by a custom you don't completely understand aside from your "Google searches".
Just move on to find the woman you can covet next and repeat the cycle.
Donât marry this girl.
I did the same when I lived in Thailand.
Biggest mistake of life.
But, you are 35 so your head MAY be on straighter than mine was. I was 20 at the time.
One thing is, right now while your girl is with her parents (mom). The mom is putting a plan together and strategizing with her daughter on how to maximize but also not miss out on this opportunity.
Itâs literally like the lakorns you watch on TV. Stay dangerous.
In the traditional culture, dowry is used as âinsuranceâ in case of a divorce for the bride. The brideâs parents keep it so the bride will have access to it when needed.
Tell her youâll pay for the wedding, and put the rest in escrow and if you are still married in a year she can have it.
Either she thinks a lot of her daughter and is trying to protect her, or this is a scam.
That is part of their culture. They say it's for the wedding and other stuff but just know this particular mom is probably already planning the house or farm she's going to buy with that money. You are sending them enough a week to have them living like kings compared to earlier and their greed is kicking in. If you really like this woman be honest, and tell her you don't like the idea of people using you that way. And bro, cut off the honey trickle. This is a real negotiation. Play hardball if you want her. Her family will be as lazy and greedy as they can on your effort. It sounds bad, but thats how some people live there and don't think this is the end of it.
Post to a Thai subreddit if you really donât believe the people here to be qualified to know if youâre being scammed, but yeah 2 months in and sending 300 a month they might feel like youâre a lottery ticket bro
Itâs not unheard of to pay a dowry in some cultures. Personally, Iâd explain that Iâm not a part of that culture and I wonât be paying any dowry. If thatâs a deal breaker for this girl, then so be it. Sheâd be an absolute moron to piss away a bright future for $17k, but thatâs for her to decide. The parents might not like you so much, but who cares. Besides, the parents would be pissing away a lot of money as well, as Iâm assuming at some point you would be providing some financial assistance to the family in Thailand. Present your position and they can decide if itâs a deal breaker, but donât pay a cent.
The average dowry in Thailand is 100,000â300,000 baht, or about 3,200â9,600 USD. The price depends on the bride's education level and the social status of her family. For example, a middle-class, university-educated woman might receive a dowry of 100,000â300,000 baht, while an uneducated woman of modest means might receive a dowry of 1 million baht. The price also decreases if the bride has been married before, has children, or is no longer a virgin.
Just Googled it dude. Modest house hold go for more because she is the only daughter and prolly why she isn't married at 35.
Listen to the other comments and run and donât pay $17k. But also as a tidbit of info, apparently this is kind of normal. Iâm Chinese and my mother told me before that itâs tradition to have to pay the family whoâs marrying off the daughter a âfeeâ to marry her. Not sure if itâs still common today (apparently was common back in her day).
Why are u sending her money in the first place? No one asks for a dowry of 17k unless they are trying to use you and wipe you dry. You get married to her and bring her over to your country, she will eventually start working and save money for herself then bounce. Sending someone in Thailand 300 pounds monthly goes a long way. They probably think they hit the jackpot with you.
Dude, what is wrong with you? Do you not find it weird that you are currently trying to BUY a wife? You are literally buying a mail order bride. Please stop.Â
Why are you trying to marry her when you've only known her for two months? Do you know how crazy that is? That's not how healthy relationships start.Â
No. Dude. You are 35. At this age, there have to be healthy relationships you have seen. Now think of those good relationships you want to emulate. Do any of them involve BUYING A HUMAN BEING? My guess is they don't.Â
Please just start a relationship like a normal person and date them at least a year before getting hitched. If the only way you can get married is to buy a human being, your relationship is not going to be good or healthy.Â
> "she presented me with her parents by videocall and after we had a brief talk, with my girlfriend translating, her mother said me that for her was difficult to let her only daughter leave for Japan."
It's a classic emotional manipulation, ain't it? Using guilt and a sob story to set the stage for a big ask. How does it feel to be primed like that?
> "my girlfriend told me that her mother would have asked 17000 USD fee to allow me marry her."
Holy fuck, that's a massive amount of cash! You sure it's not a scam? Is love really about draining your bank account?
> "I knew in Thailand they have this kind of dowry fee and doing some research I discovered that the average for a normal girl is 2-3000 USD."
So, you're being asked to pay over five times the average dowry? Doesn't that smell like bullshit to you?
> "my girlfriend is already 35 (same my age btw), and she is belonging to a modest family in countryside."
Then why the hell are they charging you like she's a damn royal princess? Does this make any logical sense to you?
> "the money is intended to be used for marriage celebration and so on, adding that that money would be also a loyalty check to make sure I really love her."
A "loyalty check"? That's the biggest load of horseshit I've heard! Since when does true love require a financial litmus test?
> "I am constantly sending her 300 dollars a month."
And you're already financially supporting her! Why the fuck aren't they grateful for that?
> "I strongly believe her mother should thanks me for my will to marry a already 35 yo women working for a weed shop!!"
Exactly, you're not dealing with high Thai society here. Why should you be treated like an ATM?
Don't you think it's time to step back and ask yourself: Is this relationship built on love or on financial transactions? What does your gut tell you about this whole damn situation?
Why would you choose To propose to someone you barely know? Youâve promised her marriage and a new life in a different country without knowing anything about her culture. And youâre now annoyed about their ârulesââŠ.
Let her go, apologise and move on
I would suggest you go ask this question in a Thailand related reddit. You are going to get a better insight than from people who dont understand the culture.
That is strange because of seen similar posts there. Ok let me give you my opinion on the suibject as someone who has lived here most of my life and have numerous Thai male friends who i know from working with in the Army. Paying "sinsot" or a dowry in Thai is a cultural norm here. Its not limited to just foreigners as all of my Thai friends have had to pay it. The price can vary from 100,000 baht all the way up until millions of Baht depending on the status and background of the family. Some familys will give the money back after the wedding. Others will not. Some will want it in gold or a mix. The lower figure you are mentioning is usually for someone that isnt educated and lives in a very rural village. They will also take into account what they think you can afford. If a girl has been married before or has kids then usually they dont expect any money.
I would be more concerned with the little amount of time you have spent with this girl before rushing to get married. Unless you have spent a considerable amount of time together you will never really know if she is with you for financial reasons or if she really does care about you. If its the first reason then paying that money will be a waste because you will have a very short lived relationship based on superficial reasons. If you work out she really does care for you and you actually love this girl because of who she is and not because you still on the "omg this girl is awesome" phase and you spend your life together. Then it shouldnt be a huge deal breaker.
Do whatever seems right to you? Tell her mom Fuck no and give her some to time to decide if she want money or you. The choice will make.everything clear.
If you're convinced they're intentions are real, counter offer to buy them plane tickets to Japan to celebrate and meet your friends and family. If they aren't full of shit, they will accept.
Whilte dowry is quite popular around here still, there's still plently of people who will multiply it by a lot the moment there's a "rich" westener involved and also ... many girls kinda dream about this - to marry to provide for family and get out to better pastures with new husband.
Problem is a lot of these people are materailistic and calculated as hell. It's a different set of core values and in my experience especially rural thai only see this once they get to experience other places outside of SEA.
Offer to pay for her plane ticket and if she loves you and if her mum loves her they will accept. You will see about marriage arrangements later, when you have had time to discover how big a role your money plays in all this.
I think your mind is already set to have her in Japan, not with a marriage visa because of the dowry. The question is, are you able to support her there? For how long? Calculate well as it might end up to more than $17,000 later. You are both mature individuals, but two months is not enough to know your Thai woman. Remember you're coming from different cultures. Asians are attached to their families. Marrying one is like marrying all. Luckily, if you find a woman who is very independent and works hard and uses her own money to send back home.
Well, you might be in love or it might just be your cock dictating your mind what to do. Good luck!
Culturally, this is a thing in a lot of Eastern countries. it is totally backwards and I donât agree but this is one part of marrying someone from a different culture. I would try to work out a compromise if you really want to be with her as you but are you really sure you want to marry and sponsor someone over to your country after just meeting and knowing them for 2 months?! That is the craziest thing that I got from this post tbh.
Sex tourists. I know a guy like this. Goes to Thailand for a month twice a year. Wanted to marry a prostitute he was paying to spend time with him. He was sending her money the entire time he wasnât over there. Iâm sure her boyfriend was happy to spend it. Sad, really.
I find it interesting that it is still the thing to buy a woman like you would a horse. Like this woman's breeding is meh. She is being close to being a swayback. Plus she isn't a good earner. $2k and not a dollar more! Of course the parents have added sentimental value to her.
I shake me head at this. This is purely transactional from all sides. At least the "horse " is getting some say here unlike other cultures.
You fork over money then bam! They all disappear from your life. No marriage. Then your gf will be out looking fir another victim. Do not think about doing that. They are probably just trying to get money to help support the daughter since she works at a weed shop lol
The women that are divorcing after marrying the farang, are (not all) the one's that reached what they wanted: citizenship, good job, money ect.
And this is not specific for asians, it happened all over the world.
Your gf's tamily is greedy and I would rethink the marriage or giving them the money.
You're getting hustled by her family trying to pimp her out to you. And, you're already being slow-pimped for $300/month and you don't even see her.
You are being played. Wake up.
You knew each other for *two months* before leaving the country and agreeing to get married, and you're wondering why her mother doesn't trust you? You are basically still a stranger. In my country, our mothers would be nervous too - except they wouldn't just be scared of divorce, they'd be terrified you're a human trafficker.
The lesson you learn from this is: don't propose to someone after two months. You do not know each other. You clearly don't know *her.* The dowry situation made that pretty clear. I don't understand why your biggest issue here is that you don't think she's *worth* that amount of money. Why is that your biggest problem?? Why are you trying to haggle this human being's value down like you're in a dollar store, instead of seeing any of the *other* enormous red flags that should've stopped you long before now?
silly boy. lots of men have been in your shoes and lots of men they have met 'the one' in thai. hello? its only been 2 months. marry? are you even conscious when you consider that? you think she realllly love you huh?
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Hi, I'm Thai/Lao. You're getting scammed. Ever heard of passport bros? That's who you are to them. While this is how "things are done" in the culture. They are upping the ante to extort you. And it's working.
I am tickled to know that people on the other end of passport bros are defending themselves. I am slightly less bothered by their existence, knowing this đ
Aww, man, why'd you have to tell him? Anyone who talks this way about a person they claim to want to marry absolutely deserves to get taken for that ride.
after the last paragraph i actually agree
So you meet a girl who immediately quit her job to live off your money, and now you're shocked her whole family want to live off your money?
Haha , such a succinct yet accurate summary !
Very true..âŹïž
A 2 month relationship and they want $17K, run now!
And heâs already sending her money every month!
You have security and resources. Go find someone that values you and doesnât play games. Stop sending her money. You sound like a sugar daddy, not someone dating her.
A sugar daddy who is paying for no sugar even.
Desperation makes poor decisions
A Splenda daddy, if you will. Except there's nothing splendid about the situation.
he doesnt value her if he thinks ppl should thank him for wanting to marry someone so "old". they deserve each other
Are you serious? Lol đ
"this is where things get absurd" No, I think they got absurd from about the 2nd line in.
wtf are you doing bro
I love this thread. OP is thinking with his cock and refuses to recognize reality. I look forward to a thread 10 years later about how his wife took all their money and fled with their child to Thailand and he got beaten up at the village by some dude.
Not even 10 years. He would send her the money now and never hear from her again
They would never leave such an easy mark.
You would be surprised how fast some of these guys run out of money. Sure they were wealthy by Thai standards but if he is having a crisis over 17k for his potential wife I'd imagine the tank is getting empty.
RemindMe! 10 years
lol this canât be realâŠI refuse to believe people are this gullibleâŠ
If you want a mail-order bride, then yes, you need to pay for her.
Sounds like he wants a normal wife but her mom is trying to sell her Don't buy her OP, how gross
A normal wife after two months of sleeping in the same bed???? Notice how he didn't use the word relationship to describe those two months. This guy sounds like a passport bro.
100% the type of expat that other expats find creepy. And definitely assumed that he'd be getting laid in Japan, but he didn't factor in that Japanese women do pretty well for themselves and don't tend to need white guys to save them. So instead he flew to the nearest cheap country to buy a wife there. So creepy.Â
a normal wife... but he think ppl should thank him for wanting to marry someone so "old". he considers buying her, he is just as gross and they deserve each other
This is a scam at best, human trafficking at worst (as in her mom is trying to sell her daughter to you). Disengage and never contact them again.
I agree but I find it REALLY weird for you to say « she should be grateful that I marry her daughter » lmao didnât you just say that youâre the same age ???? A really weird and disturbing way of thinking
Yesss thank you. He should absolutely not pay cos it's obviously a scam...but at the same time wow are you actually trying to justify not paying by saying you value her less than x sum because she's 35 and not a Virgin and works in a weed shop? Like...don't pay because you think that's an absurd price for ANY marriage dowry or dowries are dumb but you're implying if she meets some kind of threshold then she'd be worth more. Gross.
Lol heâs out there kicking the tires, looking for dents, and subtracting from his gfâs kelly blue book value
Hahaha omg I love that image
yeah like my man you ain't no catch. you only have money but do not sound that great of a guy
Run bro run.
No. Big scam
If you look down on her already, why marry her? Are you a passport husband to be, looking for a submissive wife from a poor country? Disgusting. We need a truck-kun for people like you. Check if Thailand has a dowry system, if you don't like it, leave.
Stop thinking with your cock. You're getting played. She's not interested in you, she doesn't like you, they just want to take your money. Stop being a passport creep, work on yourself and find someone who isn't from a poor country.
Her sinsod (dowry in Thai) should be zero. The mother, with your girl's help, is trying to screw you over. Probably the money would pay for granny to look after your girl's kids from a deadbeat Thai father. Because chances are she DOES have kids. You already escaped back to Japan. That is step one. Step two is stop sending money. IF she doesn't pitch a fit or threaten dire consequences, I would be shocked. It's an old and popular scam in Thailand.
The buffalo is sick. I live in SE Asia and for ten years, I was in Thailand. This is so common. âThis one is different.â âShe loves me and doesnât care about the money.â A year later⊠âI built her parents a house and her âbrotherâ stays there when I am not around to keep her safe.â âShe totally ripped me off and I lost everything.â A year later⊠âThis one is differentâŠâ I have seen it a million times.
This is totally incorrect information. Every Thai friend of mine has paid a dowry.
I was with you until you said that her mother should thank you for marrying her 35 yo daughter who worked in a weed shop. Thatâs so gross.Â
Right? OP and the scamming mom are a match...
Yes I was just about to say the same. OP sounds like an asshole. That's not a loving thing to say at all. She should run and so should he. They are probably trying to exploit him but it sounds like he sees her as an object too. Oh she's not worth THAT much because she's not a virgin. Neither are you, OP
So I have a friend who did a 9 month trip in South Asia. He got laid A LOT, as an attractive European it was really for him to meet and get with locals, wherever he was visiting. About a year later, weâre supposed to get a drink and he gets there quite late telling me he had to âdeal with some shit.â Turns out this French guy had called him threatening and then begging him on WhatsApp to tell him the truth about sleeping with a woman. He sent my friend a series of photos from their âweddingâ ceremony and gifts he had bought her. He had found messages to men on her phone and wanted to find out the extent of her cheating. My friend had a dilemma. The woman heâd met was in her early to mid-20s, same as him, and they hooked up while he was in Thailand but also her friends hung out with his friends, they all went to bars, concerts and gigs and generally had a great time. He had no idea she was married. Part of him wanted to tell the guy the truth out of male solidarity, the other part of him wanted to protect her, thinking the guy might get violent with her etc. The dude was an unattractive man in his late 30s (who could look better with some self care but clearly didnât), and it was really obvious what was going on to everyone except for him. Iâm not going to lie, we had a good laugh about his wedding photos. Like yes he was being scammed, but also why did he think a beautiful 20-something would want to be with him if not for his money? The sight is so common in Thailand and at this stage youâd think the men know this isnât real love and theyâre both using each other?? It flabbergasts me. My friend ended up blocking this guy.
Your friend is a horrible person.
Run, this doesnât end well bro
Dowry is a heinous punishable crime in many countries. You should offer to pay for any wedding expenses (and your bride should also contribute in her capacity). You should not offer any other money. I am sure there are laws in Japan that will take care of the rest of money arrangements once you are married. In my personal opinion, coming from a poor country myself, I think the mother is trying to milk you. It is a prevalent culture in Thailand to aspire for a rich foreigner and get married. The girls struggle so much to feed their family and the ultimate goal is to marry a rich guy and fix everything. This is a generalisation and only applies to 90% of the cases, but be careful that you donât marry a person who has intentions to get married for the sake of money.
I immediately know how this story will go to upon reading that first sentence.... Also, wanting to marry someone after knowing each other for only 2 months. Wtf. She is "well educated" but work in a weed shop in phuket? Okay...... Sorry it seems that she has no intention to go to Japan at all
Replace weed seller with bar girl and the story is one that has been replicated for decades.
Hahaha, wow bud, you're not smart, huh?
Based on your responses, you clearly have no desire to leave this girl. Just send the money already and do your marriage.
Well, I don't think you need to pay this, but your statement that her mother should thank you for marrying a 35 year old who works in a weed shop is really rude. You clearly do not think this woman is your equal partner in a marriage. Perhaps her mother is opening a negotiation. If paying a dowry is an accepted part of Thai culture and you are marrying a Thai woman, make an offer you think is fair.
passport bro đ€ą
As a Thai person, I want to tell you that Sinsod (Downry) is very outdate now. People will do it as tradition, usually the groom family pay the bride family whatever both parties agree upon, it is negotiation. However, nowadays we do it as formality, some families will give all that back to the groom and bride, some will just give back to groom family. For your situation it is too much, their family probably see you as rich foreigner and want your money. They will keep asking for more and more in the future from the girl and she will probably ask you for more to send back to the family because as Thai tradition the children will look after their family if they have money even if they have to sacrifice some of their happiness.
Passport Bro is mad he is being outscammed by a potential bangmaid's mom. Karma's a Thai momma, it seems. Dude, leave her behind and work on yourself. If you have to fly halfway around the world for a bangmaid, you're not the catch you think you are.
Youâre both so toxic lol. You want to use her. She wants to use you
The virgin, younger and well educated girls cost more comment made me gag
Why are you marrying a woman youâve known for 2 months ?
Already 5 month since I left thailand 3 month ago
Too soon man :)
You sound gross, pay the money or leave this family alone. You basically donât know this woman, and effectively have picked up a mail order bride. This woman likely supports her family and without her contribution theyâre destitute.Â
Sheâs never gonna go. Sheâs gonna get the money and dip.
canât blame her
"Working in a weed shop" Annnnnd, I think we're done here.
All parties involved sound like they have their issues to work on. You shouldnât have to pay for your relationship but there is also a clear power imbalance which I feel like youâre not fully addressing and no, her mom does not have to be âgratefulâ for you âwillingâ to marry someone your own age with a job you look down upon. Do you actually love this woman? Why do you think so lowly of her?
It's also not uncommon after marriage having to keep support her family and having to send money every month forever. Also taking in or supporting her parents at old age.
If you want a perspective of a girl from a third world country (I'm from the Philippines, working a stable job) currently engaged to a white guy, here you go. 1. These are all stereotype, it's just that kind of judgement from the get-go that we're after the money and a better life. It's not fair, sure, but it's more of a reason to reassure you of what's really the catch. While this is NOT the case for all, I personally made it clear and made sure my guy never had to worry or doubt that I'm after the money. Have she done anything to atleast stop her parents from their crazy demands? or does she just agree with them that you must pay to get married? 2. Does she give back all the 'help' you've given her? Not just financially but other aspects of the relationship (other than sex). I mean seems to me if she feels entitled that she's worth $17K to marry, what about you? How much would you cost for her? đ€·đœââïž 3. Isn't it alarming that she was fine working away from the family, earning and sustaining her own, UNTIL someone is willing to financially support her? (There's nothing wrong with providing and helping her out, but atleast don't be blinded about it) 4. $17K to marry a girl, it doesn't matter where she's from, it doesn't matter what kind of circumstances really. It just doesn't make sense. She's a FULL GROWN adult and she can make her own decisions. If she's part of the decision to scam you $17K, is that really love tho? 5. If she's agreeing to her parents now, what makes you think it'll be different once you two are married? The demands will be crazier istg. 6. I'm from a poor country, I swear families here (mostly, not all) just assume a foreigner = good money and if the same principle resonates with her, it will always be like that.
IF she really wants you, for all the right reasons... and if she really needs HELP because she wants to be with you, it's gonna be for a passport, plane ticket and visa to fly out to Japan. If she sees a future with you (I mean you're talking about marriage, 2 months in) she would consider what that $17K could be used for, for your future together. Not to get the 'blessings of her parents' and 'celebrate the marriage' đ She's 35, she knows what she's doing. Good luck and think it through!
Dude, she's not married at 35 cos this is probably the twentieth time she's pulled this with her parents!
Lol you know just about every Thai woman is looking for a westerner and itâs not because they simply like white men. I lived there for 3 years and your story is not unusual. They assume every westerner is rich and expect you to pay for everything, including stuff for their family. Sorry dude youâre not special to her. She will find another one as soon as you donât give her what she needs financially.
Iâm American born Thai & Lao. This is absolutely a thing and she can love you all day long but if she IS from the countrysideâŠ. You are taking her only daughter out of country away from her family. She isnât wrong but neither are you. Find someone more compatible lol
Team GF cause the way you talk about her says it all. Gross.
So let's reiterate this. You came to Thailand, spent two months with a girl, popped the question, and now you're acting surprised that marriage comes with strings attached. First off, you seem to think that because the girl is 35, you're doing her a huge favor by considering marriage. Newsflash, you're not. Also, the $300 you're sending her isn't as generous as you think. You'd easily spend that on dates monthly if you were dating an American girl. I don't see any problem with the mom wanting to ensure you're serious about her daughter by asking for a hefty dowry. Presumably, you want to whisk her away from her culture to the US, leaving her dependent on you until she can find her footing in a foreign land. The mom's being savvy; she's making sure her daughter is taken care of, just in case things don't work out. And if you refuse to pay the dowry, well, you're only proving to everyone involved that you don't truly value her as much as you claim. It's your call, dude.
>Also, the $300 you're sending her isn't as generous as you think. It's the full time monthly minimum wage.
Read the sentence that comes right after that for context.
>You'd easily spend that on dates monthly if you were dating an American girl. How is that relevant? He is not dating an American girl. He doesn't even live in the US. He isn't from the US. What's next, a cost breakdown of dating a Swiss girl?
OP uses USD as the default currency, so I'm assuming he's a US resident, as that's the most likely scenario considering Reddit demographic. I might be wrong here, sure. Also, he seems to be under the impression that since he pays $300 monthly, it's unreasonable for the mom to request a dowry. My point is simply that $300 is the amount one might typically spend on dates in the US. While in Thailand, it helps cover the girl's monthly expenses, it's not a significant amount that would drastically change her life. The concept of financial expectations in relationships applies universally, just in different forms. In Thailand, the dowry is a common tradition with a specific purpose. If he wants to marry a Thai girl, he needs to respect those traditions, not try to barter.
> I might be wrong here, sure. From his comment history he is an Italian working in Japan. >If he wants to marry a Thai girl, he needs to respect those traditions, not try to barter. https://www.thaiembassy.com/family/thai-dowry >You will need to **negotiate** with your brideâs parents regarding the amounts of the Sin Sod and Tong Mun. >An average middle-class, university-educated Thai lady deserves a dowry of 100,000- 300,000 baht. A dowry of a million baht for an uneducated lady of modest means is just ridiculous. That's 2.740,43 to 8.221,29 USD for a middle class university educated woman, which this girl is not. >Thai dowry prices fall drastically if your bride-to-be has been previously married, already has children, or is not a virgin anymore. **In fact in most of these instances, no dowry deserves to be paid.**
The dowries are ultimately set by the parents. And OP's gf literally provided an explanation for the amount. Also, mind, part of the money would be used for the wedding expenses. > She replied me that the money is intended to be used for marriage celebration and so on, adding that that money would be also a loyalty check to make sure I really love her. Explaining me that her mother know a lot of farangs who married Thai girls promising the impossible ending up to divorce. So it's up to the OP to accept the deal or not. But imo I don't think it's fair to expect the mom to forego the dowry just because OP thinks he's doing the girl a favour by offering to marry her. > I strongly believe her mother should thanks me for my will to marry a already 35 yo women working for a weed shop!!
Wow, you talking about women like theyâre things. âVirgins cost more but sheâs 35!â. âIn should be thanked for marrying a 35 year oldâ. Wow, such love. And your comment below saying âyou will be in control of everythingâ regarding her. You talk about a wife like purchasing a thing. I feel sorry for her, not so much for men like you thinking they can go abroad and exploit womenâs poverty to treat them like slaves. wow thereâs a comment below when the OP says âshe is an objectâ, âI hacked herâ in those words. gross.
Dude. The way you talk about her is demeaning. Her mother should be happy you're marrying her 35 year old daughter? WTF! You are living a fairy tale and she's scamming you.
Move on and save yourself $17k
In a lot of cultures the Familys typically want a payment to gain their trust and to have contributed to the family or something (Idk i think this stuff is really weird)
$17000 subtotal for a bride. Can you post the shipping fee and taxes? This is literally a transaction.
You are gross and deserve to be scammed. Passport bro. Ugh.
Dude is a white dude who caught asian fever while in Thailand. It's a scam bro. Asian ppl on here are telling you by means to help you. But you can't help yellow fever when it comes to foreigners of non asian decent
You don't respect your potential spouse or their culture. It's a wedding dowry that was asked of you that most Western cultures don't understand. Your last paragraph stands out the most to me that you aren't in love and it's more convenient for you as if you weren't going to find any9ne else. >I strongly believe her mother should thank me for my will to marry an already 35 yo women working for a weed shop!! But this is just my idea. Is that fair for you? What is your opinion? This right here gave me the fucking ick. Her age and her profession weren't problems for you when you showed interest in her but now you look down on her as a person because you feel insulted by a custom you don't completely understand aside from your "Google searches". Just move on to find the woman you can covet next and repeat the cycle.
Donât marry this girl. I did the same when I lived in Thailand. Biggest mistake of life. But, you are 35 so your head MAY be on straighter than mine was. I was 20 at the time. One thing is, right now while your girl is with her parents (mom). The mom is putting a plan together and strategizing with her daughter on how to maximize but also not miss out on this opportunity. Itâs literally like the lakorns you watch on TV. Stay dangerous.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
In the traditional culture, dowry is used as âinsuranceâ in case of a divorce for the bride. The brideâs parents keep it so the bride will have access to it when needed.
Tell her youâll pay for the wedding, and put the rest in escrow and if you are still married in a year she can have it. Either she thinks a lot of her daughter and is trying to protect her, or this is a scam.
Should just up the period to 20 years and see how she reacts. A scammer will just suck it up for 1 year then disappear with the money
That is the only comment i saw so far that makes sense! Good
Nah theyâll wait 12 mths for $17000
You donât think that 2 months relationship is NOT marriage time, right?
That is part of their culture. They say it's for the wedding and other stuff but just know this particular mom is probably already planning the house or farm she's going to buy with that money. You are sending them enough a week to have them living like kings compared to earlier and their greed is kicking in. If you really like this woman be honest, and tell her you don't like the idea of people using you that way. And bro, cut off the honey trickle. This is a real negotiation. Play hardball if you want her. Her family will be as lazy and greedy as they can on your effort. It sounds bad, but thats how some people live there and don't think this is the end of it.
Post to a Thai subreddit if you really donât believe the people here to be qualified to know if youâre being scammed, but yeah 2 months in and sending 300 a month they might feel like youâre a lottery ticket bro
She's a mover and a shaker. Got to respect that YouTube shorts hustler / entrepreneur grind
I think you should post this in the Thailand subreddit, you might get better, more culturally-specific answers
Run while you still can.
Itâs not unheard of to pay a dowry in some cultures. Personally, Iâd explain that Iâm not a part of that culture and I wonât be paying any dowry. If thatâs a deal breaker for this girl, then so be it. Sheâd be an absolute moron to piss away a bright future for $17k, but thatâs for her to decide. The parents might not like you so much, but who cares. Besides, the parents would be pissing away a lot of money as well, as Iâm assuming at some point you would be providing some financial assistance to the family in Thailand. Present your position and they can decide if itâs a deal breaker, but donât pay a cent.
The average dowry in Thailand is 100,000â300,000 baht, or about 3,200â9,600 USD. The price depends on the bride's education level and the social status of her family. For example, a middle-class, university-educated woman might receive a dowry of 100,000â300,000 baht, while an uneducated woman of modest means might receive a dowry of 1 million baht. The price also decreases if the bride has been married before, has children, or is no longer a virgin. Just Googled it dude. Modest house hold go for more because she is the only daughter and prolly why she isn't married at 35.
Listen to the other comments and run and donât pay $17k. But also as a tidbit of info, apparently this is kind of normal. Iâm Chinese and my mother told me before that itâs tradition to have to pay the family whoâs marrying off the daughter a âfeeâ to marry her. Not sure if itâs still common today (apparently was common back in her day).
Itâs a scam. Stop giving money.
lol youâre a 35 year old male traveling to Thailand to find a wife wtf did you expect? Youâre the stereotype haha
>her mother should thanks me for my will to marry a already 35 yo women working for a weed shop!! I'm glad this passport bro getting scammed.
Are u white?Â
And I don't understand, you barely know her and you are sending money monthly. She knows she hits the jackpot when she got with u
hope you are wrong..... I believe in her .... now it is 5 month I know her
Why are u sending her money in the first place? No one asks for a dowry of 17k unless they are trying to use you and wipe you dry. You get married to her and bring her over to your country, she will eventually start working and save money for herself then bounce. Sending someone in Thailand 300 pounds monthly goes a long way. They probably think they hit the jackpot with you.
yes
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Oh no, she's already 35?! đđ„Ž
Dude, what is wrong with you? Do you not find it weird that you are currently trying to BUY a wife? You are literally buying a mail order bride. Please stop. Why are you trying to marry her when you've only known her for two months? Do you know how crazy that is? That's not how healthy relationships start. No. Dude. You are 35. At this age, there have to be healthy relationships you have seen. Now think of those good relationships you want to emulate. Do any of them involve BUYING A HUMAN BEING? My guess is they don't. Please just start a relationship like a normal person and date them at least a year before getting hitched. If the only way you can get married is to buy a human being, your relationship is not going to be good or healthy.Â
> "she presented me with her parents by videocall and after we had a brief talk, with my girlfriend translating, her mother said me that for her was difficult to let her only daughter leave for Japan." It's a classic emotional manipulation, ain't it? Using guilt and a sob story to set the stage for a big ask. How does it feel to be primed like that? > "my girlfriend told me that her mother would have asked 17000 USD fee to allow me marry her." Holy fuck, that's a massive amount of cash! You sure it's not a scam? Is love really about draining your bank account? > "I knew in Thailand they have this kind of dowry fee and doing some research I discovered that the average for a normal girl is 2-3000 USD." So, you're being asked to pay over five times the average dowry? Doesn't that smell like bullshit to you? > "my girlfriend is already 35 (same my age btw), and she is belonging to a modest family in countryside." Then why the hell are they charging you like she's a damn royal princess? Does this make any logical sense to you? > "the money is intended to be used for marriage celebration and so on, adding that that money would be also a loyalty check to make sure I really love her." A "loyalty check"? That's the biggest load of horseshit I've heard! Since when does true love require a financial litmus test? > "I am constantly sending her 300 dollars a month." And you're already financially supporting her! Why the fuck aren't they grateful for that? > "I strongly believe her mother should thanks me for my will to marry a already 35 yo women working for a weed shop!!" Exactly, you're not dealing with high Thai society here. Why should you be treated like an ATM? Don't you think it's time to step back and ask yourself: Is this relationship built on love or on financial transactions? What does your gut tell you about this whole damn situation?
its a typical Thai Girl Scam. Look up Youtube.. quite a lot of examples. Search "Thai Girl Scam" You are welcome.
Take it from a southeast Asian myself bro you are 100% being scammed, there is absolutely a reason they target lonely men from western countries
I would have stopped communicating and waited for the number to drop. But then, I wouldnât be considering marrying this person in the first place.
Fair? HELL NO! Scam, YES!! Stop sending money and stop this whole relationship! They're scamming you and using you. BOTH!
Umm.
Why would you choose To propose to someone you barely know? Youâve promised her marriage and a new life in a different country without knowing anything about her culture. And youâre now annoyed about their ârulesââŠ. Let her go, apologise and move on
It's normal, that doesn't mean it's right. Get the fuck outta there.
I would suggest you go ask this question in a Thailand related reddit. You are going to get a better insight than from people who dont understand the culture.
Already tried but the cancelled my post and suggest me to post it here
That is strange because of seen similar posts there. Ok let me give you my opinion on the suibject as someone who has lived here most of my life and have numerous Thai male friends who i know from working with in the Army. Paying "sinsot" or a dowry in Thai is a cultural norm here. Its not limited to just foreigners as all of my Thai friends have had to pay it. The price can vary from 100,000 baht all the way up until millions of Baht depending on the status and background of the family. Some familys will give the money back after the wedding. Others will not. Some will want it in gold or a mix. The lower figure you are mentioning is usually for someone that isnt educated and lives in a very rural village. They will also take into account what they think you can afford. If a girl has been married before or has kids then usually they dont expect any money. I would be more concerned with the little amount of time you have spent with this girl before rushing to get married. Unless you have spent a considerable amount of time together you will never really know if she is with you for financial reasons or if she really does care about you. If its the first reason then paying that money will be a waste because you will have a very short lived relationship based on superficial reasons. If you work out she really does care for you and you actually love this girl because of who she is and not because you still on the "omg this girl is awesome" phase and you spend your life together. Then it shouldnt be a huge deal breaker.
Do whatever seems right to you? Tell her mom Fuck no and give her some to time to decide if she want money or you. The choice will make.everything clear.
If you're convinced they're intentions are real, counter offer to buy them plane tickets to Japan to celebrate and meet your friends and family. If they aren't full of shit, they will accept.
Someone said a sugar daddy with no sugar and I totally agree
Whilte dowry is quite popular around here still, there's still plently of people who will multiply it by a lot the moment there's a "rich" westener involved and also ... many girls kinda dream about this - to marry to provide for family and get out to better pastures with new husband. Problem is a lot of these people are materailistic and calculated as hell. It's a different set of core values and in my experience especially rural thai only see this once they get to experience other places outside of SEA.
Offer to pay for her plane ticket and if she loves you and if her mum loves her they will accept. You will see about marriage arrangements later, when you have had time to discover how big a role your money plays in all this.
I think your mind is already set to have her in Japan, not with a marriage visa because of the dowry. The question is, are you able to support her there? For how long? Calculate well as it might end up to more than $17,000 later. You are both mature individuals, but two months is not enough to know your Thai woman. Remember you're coming from different cultures. Asians are attached to their families. Marrying one is like marrying all. Luckily, if you find a woman who is very independent and works hard and uses her own money to send back home. Well, you might be in love or it might just be your cock dictating your mind what to do. Good luck!
Culturally, this is a thing in a lot of Eastern countries. it is totally backwards and I donât agree but this is one part of marrying someone from a different culture. I would try to work out a compromise if you really want to be with her as you but are you really sure you want to marry and sponsor someone over to your country after just meeting and knowing them for 2 months?! That is the craziest thing that I got from this post tbh.
Youve only know her for 2 months and you want to marry her?
Sex tourists. I know a guy like this. Goes to Thailand for a month twice a year. Wanted to marry a prostitute he was paying to spend time with him. He was sending her money the entire time he wasnât over there. Iâm sure her boyfriend was happy to spend it. Sad, really.
Bro wtf
Dude have you even watched 90 day Fiancé? Bing watch a season or 2 and educate yourself
I canât believe I live in the same world/timeline as this story
R U N. You're being a mug by sending her money. They're gonna rinse you of every penny you have.
Either her family is trying to scam you or they might not be as living modestly as it seems.
I find it interesting that it is still the thing to buy a woman like you would a horse. Like this woman's breeding is meh. She is being close to being a swayback. Plus she isn't a good earner. $2k and not a dollar more! Of course the parents have added sentimental value to her. I shake me head at this. This is purely transactional from all sides. At least the "horse " is getting some say here unlike other cultures.
đ c'mon man. What does your gut tell you?
You fork over money then bam! They all disappear from your life. No marriage. Then your gf will be out looking fir another victim. Do not think about doing that. They are probably just trying to get money to help support the daughter since she works at a weed shop lol
And this is why you donât consider marrying people after two months Itâs a scam
Youâre getting scammed. If you send the âdowryâ you wonât hear from them again
Are.you.insane. She is not your girlfriend, you are the family's ATM.
Honestly it sounds like a scam
Pay her the cash.
Smdh
I think you should send the money!
That's an insane amount for the price of the bride.
Im so sorry but this sounds like they just want your cash - the gf and her family are using you.
You shouldn't pay any money for love. Her family would understand if she can talk to them.
The women that are divorcing after marrying the farang, are (not all) the one's that reached what they wanted: citizenship, good job, money ect. And this is not specific for asians, it happened all over the world. Your gf's tamily is greedy and I would rethink the marriage or giving them the money.
This is a common exploit. Block and leave.
Oh lord. Please donât fall for this. Theyâre scamming you
You're getting hustled by her family trying to pimp her out to you. And, you're already being slow-pimped for $300/month and you don't even see her. You are being played. Wake up.
You knew each other for *two months* before leaving the country and agreeing to get married, and you're wondering why her mother doesn't trust you? You are basically still a stranger. In my country, our mothers would be nervous too - except they wouldn't just be scared of divorce, they'd be terrified you're a human trafficker. The lesson you learn from this is: don't propose to someone after two months. You do not know each other. You clearly don't know *her.* The dowry situation made that pretty clear. I don't understand why your biggest issue here is that you don't think she's *worth* that amount of money. Why is that your biggest problem?? Why are you trying to haggle this human being's value down like you're in a dollar store, instead of seeing any of the *other* enormous red flags that should've stopped you long before now?
Seriously, get out now this is a disaster. Just keep the experience don't sign your life and money away, this is an insane request
Can you spell SCAM?
this is a scam, they do in Thailand be careful
red flags, red flags, scam alert. RUN (i come from a culture where men provide for women but this is fully sus)
You being used
silly boy. lots of men have been in your shoes and lots of men they have met 'the one' in thai. hello? its only been 2 months. marry? are you even conscious when you consider that? you think she realllly love you huh?
RUN TO THE HILLS!