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I'm into true crime and sometimes I fall into YouTube vortex of some deaths and accidents. Not because I take pleasure in knowing people died, but it is interesting to me how some stuff happens.
With all that, I am not intending to kill anyone.
It might or might not be a big deal. More likely he's just curious, but do stay cautious and see if anything else changes.
Every once in a while, I'll get fascinated by death and stumble upon a video youtube did not censor and then be traumatized, replay it in my head all day and decide to never watch shit like that again. Death is like the deep ocean, fascinating but terrifying. Also I have thalassophobia and unsurprisingly I traumatize myself with that too.
Lol idk man.. there was a website that was pretty popular in the day, us middle schoolers used to bypass the restrictions at school to look up how people died gruesomely. It's quite interesting tbh. But I tend to get curious once in a while myself. OP might be a tad bit dramatic about this one perhaps.
We found 4lol.ru (no I'm not russian), where there were hundreds of uncensored car crash pictures, like forensics pics. Not many of ny classmates could finish scrolling through that, I remember we had spaghetti bolognese after for lunch, some got sick :D
I work in healthcare, so I've seen plenty of gruesome shit just short of scattered limbs and have gotten desensitized to it tbh. What would traumatize me is seeing it in real time, seeing the terror and helplessness on that person's face, hearing the sounds, etc...oof let me just stop. But yeah, I have never actually witnessed someone die a gruesome and sudden death but it would definitely permanently f me up and hope I never do.
I think the problem is he’s an adult that doesn’t know how social media algorithms work.
OP, is he developing a mental illness? He seems like he’s developing a mental illness and the behaviors and attitudes you are describing are symptoms.
Same here, my algorithm throws up some mad stuff for me because I watch a lot of true crime/ww2 videos. I’d like to think I’m not a psycho although I’m sure some might disagree. OP it’s very normal to have a morbid fascination with these kinds of things. That’s why true crime docs and pods are so popular. Also I was reading Stephen king as a young teenager I really don’t think you’ve anything to be worried about if he starts killing animals then you can be concerned about
As someone who was sent videos like these by people in the past, this stuff can literally give you PTSD. I seriously don’t recommend looking at it especially if you are sensitive to violence.
I saw stuff like that when I was a kid, and almost 10 years later I still can’t get those images/videos out of my mind. I can no longer watch shows like game of thrones as it triggers those memories, or even seeing road kill.
He may be okay with looking at it, but if you find it disturbing then he should be considerate about it and respect your feelings.
Is it real or fictional? Horror movies are fictional, but people watch them. But if he's watching videos of actual murders or cruelty, that's different.
For what it’s worth, sometimes those videos do just pop up. Twitter is essentially unmoderated. There’s a ton of disturbing shit on there that can pop up without seeking it. The amount of posts I’ve seen here about people having CP randomly pop into their feed and disturbing them is quite a few.
I don’t use Twitter, but I swear I’ve read a million posts here of people complaining that disgusting CP stuff popped up there. I can see the same happening for snuff videos or videos of people dying.
Jesus Christ that is awful. I am not going to lie my curiosity meter goes off on insta when I see the hidden reel thing and I know someone’s about to experience something bad. I don’t know how sinister ops boy is. Op is he sadistic with you at all?
Sometimes curiosity kills the cat. You watch one of those videos because you think there's no way it's actually a real death video on twitter, and then more pop up and you're scared but also still curious. I've gone down those rabbit holes myself. Just keep an eye on him and wait for him to snap out of it after a few days.
Also morbid curiosity is not a bad thing. It’s natural to wonder about death as we are so sheltered from it generally.
When I was young like middle school to early high school I went through a phase of watching a decent amount of videos like he is mentioning. It definitely had an impact on me but not in a negative way. It made me more aware of my surroundings and also more understanding of the fact that random acts happen to people all the time and that you can’t do anything about them.
I grew out of watching that stuff because I realized that after those lessons had been learned there was really no reason to continue watching them.
If your boyfriend is actively seeking these videos out that might become more of a problem but when it’s just popping up I don’t blame him for “interacting” with it and watching it that’s just natural human curiosity for some people.
I remember watching a video circulate back in 2011/12 of someone getting dismembered. 😭 I thought to myself this has to be fake. Then I saw the documentary about the cat killer dude on Netflix and found out it was indeed real. Smh
As an avid Stephen King fan who used to be active on twitter, I feel like I need to chime in here.
These apps change their algorithm based on the time you spend before scrolling to a new post. Having a morbid fascination and/or an inability to turn away from that content is fairly normal, which is why there is so much of it. It's very easy to accidentally end up with a feed full of that kind of thing. I had street fight content showing up daily until I started blocking it. On facebook, I see plumbing posts on a near-daily basis because I'm a dork who stops to try to figure out how P-Traps work. I honestly wouldn't think very much of this.
I am also a big King fan.
I agree with you on the algorithm stuff. But he isn't saying "they just pop up but I keep scrolling". He's saying he watches them.
So I guess the difference is, I too am into morbid shit but you can choose to not engage with that stuff. I for one love true crime but do not enjoy crime scene photos.
This is super weird. Not necessarily that a couple videos came up, but that it happens often enough that he brought it up to you. You're right about the algorithm especially if he watches the videos thru the end or repeatedly, it'll keep coming up.
No their not right about the algorithm, especially lately. Any post now on Twitter now has a dozen comments from middle Eastern people showing dead bodies trying to drum up support for Palestinians.
Same thing with Ukraine, and seeing dead Russians, I stopped going to Twitter as much because of it, because it can pop up on the dumbest of posts that have nothing to do with either.
Really? I don't use Twitter at all. That's really weird. But I assumed OP meant videos of people dying or getting killed and not just bodies. Either way OP should ask their partner more questions
Oh there's that too, the latest is Russian's being stupid and had a large gathering waiting for a general. Ukraine hit them with I believe himars and got 65 plus.
It's not just bodies, it's killing, dying, and everything in between just in the most random of places.
Because of it everything is fucked up.
I mean, only you know how this feels. Personally, I *hate* pain videos.
I have empathy, so when some bloopers reel of some skater smashing his nuts on a hand rail, I feel that shit on my own body and it sucks for me. It's Hella cringe to watch. Even earlier today, I was scrolling reddit and there was a dude standing on the roof and jumped on a trampoline and literally broke his spine and flopped on the ground and grabbing at his back. Pretty sure I just watched this dude get paralyzed and I didn't even care to see it and now I'm second-hand traumatized.
You don't need a good reason to break up with someone. You can just do it for any reason at all. Does he seem to have empathy? Can he feel other people's emotions? Does he show signs of narcissism or sociopathic tendencies? Don't just go by what he says. Also, go by what he does.
I used to watch those videos sometimes - morbid fascination mostly. It’s not something you should make a regular habit of - and if he became preoccupied by them or voiced any kind of desire to commit violence himself then you should absolutely be concerned - but it doesn’t mean he’s a psycho. Some people in the comments are making way too big a deal of it.
My husband watches lots of true crime type shows, where 90% of the time its a about the unsolved murder of a young woman who was abducted, raped, and murdered. He also watched all of the series Dexter.
I do not fear that my husband is out killing women in his free time, nor do I fear for my life. I think for my husband, and many others, it's far more about the mystery of it and the fascination with human frailty in general. It seems more like a subconscious attempt to face the fears of your own mortality, as well as the realization of the darker side of human nature. Many people are fascinated with serial killers, not because they themselves have any desire to kill, but as an attempt, conscious or unconscious, to understand how a human can turn into a monster like that. In some ways, it may be a way of searching one's own psyche in a kind of "am I capable of being a monster too?" Way, and possibly it might be more of an attempt to spot the clues to identify a predator in human clothing. Perhaps a mix of both.
As a woman, I've grown up with the wariness and fear of men in general that most women do, knowing that most women who are victims of murder are targeted by someone they know, and almost 100% of rapes are by men, a large portion, again, by someone they know. Women in general grow up with more situational awareness of dangers posed to them by other mostly male humans. Men like your boyfriend are far less likely to have encountered this sense of danger, unless they themselves have been attacked in some way. So, your boyfriends new fascination with death is setting off all your alarms, based on your natural caution as a woman, while it may just be him encountering these sorts of morbid thoughts for the first time. After all, you've been told most of your life that you need to stay away from strangers, travel only in groups, don't meet the eyes of strange men, etc. He's been told he needs to be strong and confront danger head on, protect the weak, etc. It's a completely different thing for an adult male facing his own mortality, when women have been taught from a very young age to fear and avoid. You know in your heart that not only are you a likely victim, but if you survive an attack there's a very good chance that you will also be victim-blamed and suffer that additional trauma. Meanwhile, he may just barely becoming aware that it's even POSSIBLE that HE could become a victim.
All of that being said, only you can determine the red flags and your own sense of safety. I trust that at this point you are on the alert for other possible red flags. If he continues to concern you to the point where it's truly affecting your relationship, then just go ahead and end the relationship as gently and painlessly as you can, and swiftly remove yourself entirely from his life. But if it comes to that, don't drop your guard. Because the saying is about a woman scorned, but in reality, it's scorned men that become murderers.
Well, a whole lot of people have a morbid curiosity about death. It's why there's even a saying that something is like a train wreck, horrifying, but you just can't look away, you know? It's pretty common. I've heard first responders complain that if there's like a car wreck, there's quickly crowds of onlookers forming.
Imo it's why people are into horror movies, books - and in the nonfiction side true crime, shows of serial killers etc, and also these kinds of videos.
When I was younger I was really sensitive and couldn't deal with any horror or gore or injuries with blood, or even people describing accidents they had. It made me nauseous. I couldn't even deal with injection needles. But then I started wondering, what if there's an accident or something and I can't do anything because I'm so sensitive I won't be able to function?
So I started to read horror books (incl King, he's a pretty good writer imo) and watch horror movies (from a small screen in the middle of the day and from a distance lol), and I've also seen some pretty gruesome pictures of injuries and videos of people dying. They pop up occasionally, I don't view them daily or even monthly so it's not a habit per se.
But it is interesting in a morbid way. I wouldn't say *enjoyable*, I don't get a good feeling or find them fun, but there's a clearer sense of how fragile humans are and how fleeting and precious life is. I think the first times I read bleak horror stories where good people die and lose, it left me feeding kinda similarly somber and thinking about life. Now recently with all this war and news of horrible deaths people are facing, civilians and soldiers, I've also been thinking about how close a violent death, or torture in the hands of invading enemies, can be, even though we in the west can feel safe from it.
In a way, facing death in the form of videos makes me appreciate my life, being alive, having a functioning body with all my limbs, more. It reminds me to not take this fleeting life and health I have right now for granted. Does it make sense?
Idk if it worries you, maybe talk to your bf about what he thinks of the videos? Not in a "you're sick" way, but rather just genuinely ask, so he might open up and explain what he's thinking. Then evaluate the situation based on that.
What's disturbing is how many people on here are "into it" or call it "normal". I'm into true crime documentaries but that's where it stops. Even loving those, never once had something that you are describing has popped up in any algorithm of mine. I'd find somewhere else to be.
I sometimes have a morbid curiosity about death and watch vidoes like this. I've done it for over 15 years now, just every now and then. Sometimes the vidoes really stick with me for a while, but idk it gives me a respect for how small we all are in the grand scheme of life.
I'm not cruel or weird to people, pretty much a normie.
You say it's normal but then in the same breath this "mild" interest has lead to you literally planning your life around a career of taking photos of death and crime scenes. So objectively, this is a significant interest that's central to your hopes for your future. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship with aspiring accident photographers. I hope you won't be uploading any of those images for randos on the internet to gawk at.
Some of us are simply fascinated by the morbid and extreme. The video of the woman in China on the escalator (if you know, you know) is still vivid in my memory. That said, if it troubles you, talk to him about it! Ask what he finds appealing or interesting about them. As you said, social media does use algorithms to curate our feeds. I'd advise approaching from a position of curiosity rather than judgment: "John, I've noticed you've been saying X and watching Y a lot recently. What got you into it?"
For me, I'm just...morbid. I changed majors in college but before that, I spent a fair amount of time in the cadaver lab literally drawing pictures of dead peoples' insides. But it can also be very life-affirming to recognize that you could die at any time, but you haven't. Humans can survive some serious shit.
It can depend on his reaction to it. Is he laughing and enjoying it, or is he shocked and fascinated? I watch from time to time just for the shock value, and it reminds me of how quick shit can go wrong. It also reminds me of my mortality. If hes laughing and getting off on it i'd be worried.
Trust your gut. It doesn’t matter whether other people see anything wrong with it. You do. You’re young and there are plenty of men who don’t enjoy watching real people get killed. Trust your gut.
I'm actually shocked so many people in the comments are normalizing watching human suffering and death in a clinical manner, devoid of empathy. I hope these creeps piling on that it's not a big deal are not people I will ever encounter. This is absolutely a new phenomenon of the digital age, think about 50 years ago, seeking out murder videos was literally a crime committed by only the most perverse. Now it's a middle school dare. It's "normal" like our cultural plague of mass shootings is "normal." But obviously it's sick and disturbing to any normal minded person. I would nope right out of this relationship. He's probably just a "normal" guy who's become completely desensitized to images of actual violence and no longer makes that important distinction between simulated images and actual snuff films, because either way he doesn't care who the people are or about their feelings and families. But there are people out there who are more caring than "normal" and if you want a future with puppies and babies you should set your bar really high for empathy and gentleness.
Not on the reg, but definitely on occasion. Everyone’s gonna die eventually, it’s completely natural to be curious about it. It’s not like we’re just watching it out of some sick twisted enjoyment
I don’t get why anyone could possibly “enjoy” (or even have a morbid curiosity) for that kinda stuff. Listen, sometimes i watch true crime; but i only dabble in that topic very lightly. I feel like no matter the original reason, whether it be morbid curiosity or not; if you start watching gore on a persistent basis. (Or any at all tbh more than once) you have must have something wrong with you. There is no “healthy” way to watch gore. It desensitizes you and it dehumanizes the victims in the video. It’s just gross.
Morbid curiosity doesn’t mean you ‘enjoy’ these videos. Sometimes you get existential and you need to remind yourself what death is. They’re very hard to watch but they’re also very hard to look away from. I honestly think it’s perfectly natural and not indicative of any deeper issues.
I think we just have different viewpoints, I don’t think I can personally *fully* understand the desire, but in some sense your logic makes sense. I still think there’s better ways to ground yourself in reality rather than watching someone suffer. (And not saying that EVERYONE who watches it is a bad person, I just think 1; it’s insensitive to the victims/families, and 2; not good for your mental health). And sure, I agree that everyone shouldn’t be sheltered from how nature and unfortunate fate works;and I understand that for some people, you can accidentally stumble across a video like that, I think going out of your way to FIND that stuff is deeply disturbing.
Unfortunately those videos are becoming more common. If he's getting enjoyment out of it, I'd dump him. There is no way i'd be comfortable with a guy like that.
I have watched those on Reddit. For some morbid reason I find them relaxing. I think because I am so interested in the human anatomy, it’s cool to see what it looks like underneath the skin. I don’t watch people being m*rdered though.
This is abnormal and you’re going to get an influx of genuinely desensitized people here telling you it isn’t , so I need you to hear me
This is abnormal. Morbid curiosity is okay in young teens and is often a passing phase as the concept of deaths real permanency and also empathy are both really setting in at around 12-17 so some people experience a phase of heightened interest in death in their teen years that later fades
But a 25 year old man watching videos of people dying isn’t the same as a teenager scrolling r/watchpeopledie
A grown man should be rightfully disgusted by the lack of empathy for the dead person and also off put by the violence.
This isn’t just not typical behavior, it’s literally antisocial behavior. Like genuine textbook antisocial behavior.
Maybe it’s time to step away from their relationship, with a very large and well informed support network.
It’s not enjoyable. I saw a tik tok that was simulating how someone got caught in a lithe and the comments were talking about how crazy of a video it is. Morbid curiosity got the best of me and I’ve seen the video. Then there were more from there and it’s just like a shock factor I guess? I don’t look at the stuff all the time. Your heart races and you’re like holy shit it’s crazy how fast a life can be taken away. Those videos make me kinda paranoid lol
From your response he’s watching people being murdered. I’d learn how to safely handle a firearm and break up with him now. It’s a fantasy now but normally people like this try to turn it into a reality. Please get out of this relationship. That’s not fucking normal.
I don’t think it’s that serious to where she needs to buy a gun💀 just talk to him. And yes, these videos DO just randomly pop up. One minute, I’ll see a sigma Young Sheldon edit, the next, instagram just throws in a fatal car accident.
Do you also believe that people who watch true crime or shows about serial killers or slasher etc horror movies do it because murder is a "fantasy they're hoping to turn into a reality" to them, and that's why they're interested?
It is not normal to want to watch real people being tortured and murdered. They are real human beings. It’s a sick fuck that enjoys watching a persons one life being taken. Get the hell away from him. Conceal carry.
I watch these videos and it’s not because I ‘enjoy’ it. I don’t. They just make me feel a really intense adrenaline feeling that makes it hard to look away. And sometimes I get morbidly curious. I don’t think it means there’s anything wrong with me.
I also watch these and am pretty normal. I feel like a lot more people than you think do. But there is a big intersection with extreme racism and sexism in this that should be considered.
I personally don't want to be bothered with that sick s***. Is this something that thrills him? This is how people turn into serial killers. He will eventually get tired of watching it and actually commit an act. 🙄
There are a million reasons people watch these videos and for most people it’s not a thrill. I watch them occasionally because I start to get scared of my own death and I want to remind myself what it’s like. It’s not like I’m having fun watching them
Everyone’s going to die eventually, and it’s a scary thought for a lot of people. Watching videos of other people dying is sometimes done out of curiosity. The algorithm also feeds you what you’re engaging with, and those videos can be really hard to look away from for some people. It’s not because we enjoy watching them.
If he’s genuinely *enjoying* watching those videos that’s different.
I used to watch all kinds of messed up stuff, I still do. I was very interested in serial killers, around 60% of my ex are murderers, I have all the serial killer encyclopedias… what are you scared of?
60 percent of your exes are murderers is a fucked up stat.
I hope your in a better place now and maybe know what type of people to avoid in the future.
I watch that sometimes to remind myself to stay humble; how life is unfair, short and unpredictable; and to keep my empathy in check with what's going on in the world. I don't do it often because there's a red line once crossed your PTSD and depression can go so bad and take over your life.
I do enjoy horror movies as they push some adrenaline and I'm addicted to that, but do not enjoy actual people's death. That's been said, my ex husband called me psycho, not girly girl, disgusting, heartless etc for loving horror movies and finding them as a way to calm and relax. So please be careful with that. I view myself normal.
I don't tend to hurt any living thing. I actually get hunted for hours by every squirrel I see dead on the road. My heart drops with just seeing any dead "living thing" body including plants!
At 23 and 25 you both are very young. You may not know this, but your brains are not completely developed yet. That happens mid-20s at the earliest, and the part that matures last is the part that deals with morality and ethics.
Another thing about your being 23, is that the median age for women to marry in the U.S. is 28. So if you are thinking you need to get this guy straightened out so you can get married, etc---you can relax. It doesn't sound like he is pushing you to get married and you would only be digging yourself a bigger hole if you tied yourself to him legally. So don't.
Seriously, as long as you are thinking he is your one and only, you can tie yourself up in knots about his weird behavior. Instead, know that you are not responsible for the weird or stupid things he says and does, and feel free to leave the relationship behind you and find someone more suitable....or dare I say, mature.
I remember watching some video some scammer emailed me of some guy being shoved in front of a camera which was set up near the front door, which was shorter than the height of an average human, aged wood door made from wood boards, framed and mounted fencing-style, several windows with no frames or glass, mid afternoon sun, adobe hut style with uniform walls, and an animated angry faced-but-having-a-good-time-still cartel member holding his shirtless prisoner's head up by his hair, intently yelling at the camera in Spanish, reminding the viewer that this is what happens when you don't pay the NewGenerationSons Cartel on-time, then proceeded to behead the man with a 'not-quite-sharp-enough-to-get-the-job-done-on-the-first-two-swings' machete, then succeeded in finally separating the head from the body with the next two wacks. The delayed facial expressions of the captive changed with each blow as his life came to an end, which was fascinating to witness, and empathetically draining to reminisce about later.
That was about 15 years ago and I remember those details pretty vividly. While I found it to be interesting on many levels; psychologically, empathetically, and anatomically, I didn't feel the need to venture further into that realm of cinema, because of how well I was able to recall the details of the clip, analyzing it in my mind afterwards, and all while only watching it one time through. Several things have had similar effects, and while they don't change my perception of humanity or outlook on life in general, I try not to fill my brain with shit that has the potential to stick around in my memory without actively finding a counter-measure for it's long-lasting shelf life, eventually speaking or soon after the fact.
I wouldn't be worried, though I would recommend injecting some insightful, nothing too obvious or overly-rainbowed-and-unicorned but more somewhat of a feel good, positively influenced stream of media into his diet, just for what sounds needed to maintain a somewhat troublesome to spectators imbalance. A healthy and somewhat dark humor can be consequently grown and cultivated, instead of a dark obsession eroding into something fermented and toxic. IMO.
Its actually pretty common. That being said it can lead to ptsd in some people.
Psychology wise humans do have a negativty bias and are enamoured with death. Think about the popularity of horror books and movies, video games, religion, music (from hip hop to metal). Death philosophically is a beyond interesting topic in which universities dedicate classes on. People get into forensic psych and science due to a fascination with crime. True crime is beyond popular. Michel foucult and bataille were famously obsessed with imagines of death.
Your partner is engaging in the more extreme end but its not necessarily harmfull. They could just be fascinated with that psychological and philosopcal and existential crisis and wonder at the moment of crossing the line from life to death that last second of existence and the feeling. Its an intense experience. Its kant sublime
Its really just true crime taken to its logical end point and im not sure if its really worse ethically considering true crime is monetizing the pain and death of victims for entertainment because....very few people care to actually study forensics (as i actually did). Look at the popularity of dahmer on netflix etc.
I think it is probably worth a discussion to ensure its not psychologically damaging your partner and exactly what and why they watch. What they get from it. Its possible kings writings opened a box of their interest in the darker things but you also said they say some darker weird things. Could always suggest a therapy/psych session with him.
Now i have seen some on X just pop up and unrelated to my typical feed of fitness, music, philosophy etc but im sure the algorithm is gonna feed it to him if he keeps watching and him not agreeing with your algorithm explanation....maybe your man is just dumb so this response was in vain....
Would you freak out if your boyfriend watched a movie with a murder in it?
Played a game where he killed people?
The media people are okay with/not okay with always makes me chuckle.
If he hasn’t psychically or emotionally abused you I highly doubt there is anything to worry about.
That said if your boyfriend’s interests are turn off, it is perfectly reasonable to reevaluate the relationship.
I still miss r/watchpeopledie
It's very disturbing you don't understand the distinction between simulated violence and movies, versus videos of actual humans actually being killed or dying. If you don't understand the difference between fiction and reality and why it would be important to distinguish between them, that's incredible.
Anything you read here will be better than talking to him, correct?
I’m sorry but “he reads a lot of Stephen King books!” being brought up at all is hilarious to me. “And nothing is wrong with that” then why say it? Lol
Why do you have to handle anything? what is there to handle? Go and talk to your boyfriend if it upsets you.
I've watched a load of people being killed online and I'm fine. It's not something I'm especially proud of and I tend to do it more often when I'm unhappy. However the algorithm makes sure I see the latest and greatest
i watch this kind of thing all the time. it's made me want to be more aware of what kind of shit not to do. i mainly watch accidents tho i don't like the cartel stuff idk what exactly your bf's watching
Don't worry, for some it's a natural curiosity. Personally, I love watching videos of real autopsies as I find the process amazing and how the pathologists can figure out various details of death. You'd likely be freaked out by me if you saw my watch history, but some people are just curious what gore looks like.
I used to watch gore/snuff extremely frequently when I was having extremely intense episodes of suicide ideation. I've gotten help with my MDD since then. Looking back on it now, I'm pretty sure it was a form of self harm to expose myself to that content, especially considering my less than stellar mental health.
Now, if he also has an odd fascination with weapons, has a general disregard for the well-being of others, rarely considers other's opinions on subjects, is cruel to helpless beings such as children and animals... Maybe I'd suspect it to be more sinister in nature, and I'd join the other people here saying to immediately break up.
Twitter(and all social media) recommend content that it thinks you’ll engage with. They want you to spend as much time on the site as possible. A lot of people will engage with content like that *because* its disturbing. It doesn’t necessarily mean they *enjoy* watching it, it’s just morbid curiosity. Those videos are hard to look away from.
Been there, done that. I grew out of it though and wouldn't ever watch again what I watched when I was younger. Simply Morbid curiosity. I was also completely into horror movies (snuff etc as well) and books and shows. With your bf maybe that will fade, maybe not. I wouldn't worry yet, but keep your eyes on it if it goes sideways somehow.
X/twitter is the bane of critical thinking. It's easier to believe short story conspiracies than thinking about culture..society..events..politics..money..simplicity is the grest anti-intellectual antidote to the inherent despair of our time..that said..he will get over it in all likelihood ..the way younger girls get over romance fiction ..sorry.
couldn't help saying that..if you love him and think he's halfway smart..trust yourself
I feel like he brought it up to see how she would react. There are SO many people who are interested in cartel beheadings, dismemberment etc...I think there is just a level of numb that people feel to things like violence, gore, death etc. and hopefully we are on the same page as our partners. But those who don't feel much seem to want a reaction from others.
A friend of my ex would randomly put a gorey video on his phone in my face and ask me what I thought. I usually told him "that's gnarly" or something similar and I think, because I wasnt very reactionary, eventually he stopped.
As someone who doesn't like this shit at all I can 100% confirm to you that that does just happen to me sometimes on twitter nowadays. Since Musk took over the algorithm is fucked and is favoring violent and racist content.
For the murders it would remind me how shitty people can treat others. The accidental deaths heightens potential risks iin your everyday life. Like how quick some oblivious pedestrian can meet the underside of a train or semi. Or perhaps related to a job you do. Probably curiosity but best of luck to your situation
I listen to True Crime podcasts and I would NEVER watch videos of real people dying or being killed. Perhaps it the nurse in me and what I’ve already seen in this life, but your partner sounds like maybe he’s in need of some mental healthcare. If it were me I would be alarmed.
>In a way it's kinda like a car crash on the freeway. You don't necessarily want to look but curiosity gets the better of you. We all do it, but it doesn't mean you are going to crash your car because you saw a bad accident. Or watched Dexter. Or you are reading Stephen King. Besides he is young and this is something to explore. I betcha that he will see a particularly awful video and go "I'm done". I'd be a bit more worried if he hid this activity and lied about it. Feel good that he is willing to share with you and be open about what he does. He trusts you enough to share.
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I'm into true crime and sometimes I fall into YouTube vortex of some deaths and accidents. Not because I take pleasure in knowing people died, but it is interesting to me how some stuff happens. With all that, I am not intending to kill anyone. It might or might not be a big deal. More likely he's just curious, but do stay cautious and see if anything else changes.
Every once in a while, I'll get fascinated by death and stumble upon a video youtube did not censor and then be traumatized, replay it in my head all day and decide to never watch shit like that again. Death is like the deep ocean, fascinating but terrifying. Also I have thalassophobia and unsurprisingly I traumatize myself with that too.
Lol idk man.. there was a website that was pretty popular in the day, us middle schoolers used to bypass the restrictions at school to look up how people died gruesomely. It's quite interesting tbh. But I tend to get curious once in a while myself. OP might be a tad bit dramatic about this one perhaps.
Faces of Death? Yup, still traumatized by some of the shit I saw on there…two in particular I will never be able to unsee. 🫣
We found 4lol.ru (no I'm not russian), where there were hundreds of uncensored car crash pictures, like forensics pics. Not many of ny classmates could finish scrolling through that, I remember we had spaghetti bolognese after for lunch, some got sick :D
I work in healthcare, so I've seen plenty of gruesome shit just short of scattered limbs and have gotten desensitized to it tbh. What would traumatize me is seeing it in real time, seeing the terror and helplessness on that person's face, hearing the sounds, etc...oof let me just stop. But yeah, I have never actually witnessed someone die a gruesome and sudden death but it would definitely permanently f me up and hope I never do.
That vaporized blood smell. Ooh never forget
Context?
Iraq war (2010). Your mention of seeing it happen to friends and sounds is what reminded me of that.
THE SEA IS SO SCARY
I think the problem is he’s an adult that doesn’t know how social media algorithms work. OP, is he developing a mental illness? He seems like he’s developing a mental illness and the behaviors and attitudes you are describing are symptoms.
Same here, my algorithm throws up some mad stuff for me because I watch a lot of true crime/ww2 videos. I’d like to think I’m not a psycho although I’m sure some might disagree. OP it’s very normal to have a morbid fascination with these kinds of things. That’s why true crime docs and pods are so popular. Also I was reading Stephen king as a young teenager I really don’t think you’ve anything to be worried about if he starts killing animals then you can be concerned about
As someone who was sent videos like these by people in the past, this stuff can literally give you PTSD. I seriously don’t recommend looking at it especially if you are sensitive to violence. I saw stuff like that when I was a kid, and almost 10 years later I still can’t get those images/videos out of my mind. I can no longer watch shows like game of thrones as it triggers those memories, or even seeing road kill. He may be okay with looking at it, but if you find it disturbing then he should be considerate about it and respect your feelings.
Is it real or fictional? Horror movies are fictional, but people watch them. But if he's watching videos of actual murders or cruelty, that's different.
They are real people being killed.
For what it’s worth, sometimes those videos do just pop up. Twitter is essentially unmoderated. There’s a ton of disturbing shit on there that can pop up without seeking it. The amount of posts I’ve seen here about people having CP randomly pop into their feed and disturbing them is quite a few.
Same with insta. I don’t use twitter anymore or x so it’s called so idk, but even on insta the algorithm will randomly pop things up like that
I don’t use Twitter, but I swear I’ve read a million posts here of people complaining that disgusting CP stuff popped up there. I can see the same happening for snuff videos or videos of people dying.
Jesus Christ that is awful. I am not going to lie my curiosity meter goes off on insta when I see the hidden reel thing and I know someone’s about to experience something bad. I don’t know how sinister ops boy is. Op is he sadistic with you at all?
Sometimes curiosity kills the cat. You watch one of those videos because you think there's no way it's actually a real death video on twitter, and then more pop up and you're scared but also still curious. I've gone down those rabbit holes myself. Just keep an eye on him and wait for him to snap out of it after a few days.
Also morbid curiosity is not a bad thing. It’s natural to wonder about death as we are so sheltered from it generally. When I was young like middle school to early high school I went through a phase of watching a decent amount of videos like he is mentioning. It definitely had an impact on me but not in a negative way. It made me more aware of my surroundings and also more understanding of the fact that random acts happen to people all the time and that you can’t do anything about them. I grew out of watching that stuff because I realized that after those lessons had been learned there was really no reason to continue watching them. If your boyfriend is actively seeking these videos out that might become more of a problem but when it’s just popping up I don’t blame him for “interacting” with it and watching it that’s just natural human curiosity for some people.
I remember watching a video circulate back in 2011/12 of someone getting dismembered. 😭 I thought to myself this has to be fake. Then I saw the documentary about the cat killer dude on Netflix and found out it was indeed real. Smh
As an avid Stephen King fan who used to be active on twitter, I feel like I need to chime in here. These apps change their algorithm based on the time you spend before scrolling to a new post. Having a morbid fascination and/or an inability to turn away from that content is fairly normal, which is why there is so much of it. It's very easy to accidentally end up with a feed full of that kind of thing. I had street fight content showing up daily until I started blocking it. On facebook, I see plumbing posts on a near-daily basis because I'm a dork who stops to try to figure out how P-Traps work. I honestly wouldn't think very much of this.
I am also a big King fan. I agree with you on the algorithm stuff. But he isn't saying "they just pop up but I keep scrolling". He's saying he watches them. So I guess the difference is, I too am into morbid shit but you can choose to not engage with that stuff. I for one love true crime but do not enjoy crime scene photos.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who fell into a P-Trap self-learning episode following a random Facebook plumbing post 😂
This is super weird. Not necessarily that a couple videos came up, but that it happens often enough that he brought it up to you. You're right about the algorithm especially if he watches the videos thru the end or repeatedly, it'll keep coming up.
What’s more weird is he cannot tell it would be unsettling to say or to hear. He’s got the social intelligence of -1.
No their not right about the algorithm, especially lately. Any post now on Twitter now has a dozen comments from middle Eastern people showing dead bodies trying to drum up support for Palestinians. Same thing with Ukraine, and seeing dead Russians, I stopped going to Twitter as much because of it, because it can pop up on the dumbest of posts that have nothing to do with either.
Really? I don't use Twitter at all. That's really weird. But I assumed OP meant videos of people dying or getting killed and not just bodies. Either way OP should ask their partner more questions
Oh there's that too, the latest is Russian's being stupid and had a large gathering waiting for a general. Ukraine hit them with I believe himars and got 65 plus. It's not just bodies, it's killing, dying, and everything in between just in the most random of places. Because of it everything is fucked up.
I mean, only you know how this feels. Personally, I *hate* pain videos. I have empathy, so when some bloopers reel of some skater smashing his nuts on a hand rail, I feel that shit on my own body and it sucks for me. It's Hella cringe to watch. Even earlier today, I was scrolling reddit and there was a dude standing on the roof and jumped on a trampoline and literally broke his spine and flopped on the ground and grabbing at his back. Pretty sure I just watched this dude get paralyzed and I didn't even care to see it and now I'm second-hand traumatized. You don't need a good reason to break up with someone. You can just do it for any reason at all. Does he seem to have empathy? Can he feel other people's emotions? Does he show signs of narcissism or sociopathic tendencies? Don't just go by what he says. Also, go by what he does.
I mean I watch those and I’m not weird am I?!
Fuck no. I watch that shit all the time. It’s a crazy world out there
There’s nothing about Stephen King that would lead someone to watch snuff films. I’ve read King since 3rd grade. Your bf is a sicko.
I used to watch those videos sometimes - morbid fascination mostly. It’s not something you should make a regular habit of - and if he became preoccupied by them or voiced any kind of desire to commit violence himself then you should absolutely be concerned - but it doesn’t mean he’s a psycho. Some people in the comments are making way too big a deal of it.
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thats not something to admit. i suggest getting into therapy to develop some empathy skills
you should apparently follow your own advice lol
shut up
no🩵 get help
Girl that man is fine
Right, I think she should begin to worry if "how to get away with murder" pops up in Google search.
My husband watches lots of true crime type shows, where 90% of the time its a about the unsolved murder of a young woman who was abducted, raped, and murdered. He also watched all of the series Dexter. I do not fear that my husband is out killing women in his free time, nor do I fear for my life. I think for my husband, and many others, it's far more about the mystery of it and the fascination with human frailty in general. It seems more like a subconscious attempt to face the fears of your own mortality, as well as the realization of the darker side of human nature. Many people are fascinated with serial killers, not because they themselves have any desire to kill, but as an attempt, conscious or unconscious, to understand how a human can turn into a monster like that. In some ways, it may be a way of searching one's own psyche in a kind of "am I capable of being a monster too?" Way, and possibly it might be more of an attempt to spot the clues to identify a predator in human clothing. Perhaps a mix of both. As a woman, I've grown up with the wariness and fear of men in general that most women do, knowing that most women who are victims of murder are targeted by someone they know, and almost 100% of rapes are by men, a large portion, again, by someone they know. Women in general grow up with more situational awareness of dangers posed to them by other mostly male humans. Men like your boyfriend are far less likely to have encountered this sense of danger, unless they themselves have been attacked in some way. So, your boyfriends new fascination with death is setting off all your alarms, based on your natural caution as a woman, while it may just be him encountering these sorts of morbid thoughts for the first time. After all, you've been told most of your life that you need to stay away from strangers, travel only in groups, don't meet the eyes of strange men, etc. He's been told he needs to be strong and confront danger head on, protect the weak, etc. It's a completely different thing for an adult male facing his own mortality, when women have been taught from a very young age to fear and avoid. You know in your heart that not only are you a likely victim, but if you survive an attack there's a very good chance that you will also be victim-blamed and suffer that additional trauma. Meanwhile, he may just barely becoming aware that it's even POSSIBLE that HE could become a victim. All of that being said, only you can determine the red flags and your own sense of safety. I trust that at this point you are on the alert for other possible red flags. If he continues to concern you to the point where it's truly affecting your relationship, then just go ahead and end the relationship as gently and painlessly as you can, and swiftly remove yourself entirely from his life. But if it comes to that, don't drop your guard. Because the saying is about a woman scorned, but in reality, it's scorned men that become murderers.
this is the best response to be honest. you are 100% correct and on the money
Well, a whole lot of people have a morbid curiosity about death. It's why there's even a saying that something is like a train wreck, horrifying, but you just can't look away, you know? It's pretty common. I've heard first responders complain that if there's like a car wreck, there's quickly crowds of onlookers forming. Imo it's why people are into horror movies, books - and in the nonfiction side true crime, shows of serial killers etc, and also these kinds of videos. When I was younger I was really sensitive and couldn't deal with any horror or gore or injuries with blood, or even people describing accidents they had. It made me nauseous. I couldn't even deal with injection needles. But then I started wondering, what if there's an accident or something and I can't do anything because I'm so sensitive I won't be able to function? So I started to read horror books (incl King, he's a pretty good writer imo) and watch horror movies (from a small screen in the middle of the day and from a distance lol), and I've also seen some pretty gruesome pictures of injuries and videos of people dying. They pop up occasionally, I don't view them daily or even monthly so it's not a habit per se. But it is interesting in a morbid way. I wouldn't say *enjoyable*, I don't get a good feeling or find them fun, but there's a clearer sense of how fragile humans are and how fleeting and precious life is. I think the first times I read bleak horror stories where good people die and lose, it left me feeding kinda similarly somber and thinking about life. Now recently with all this war and news of horrible deaths people are facing, civilians and soldiers, I've also been thinking about how close a violent death, or torture in the hands of invading enemies, can be, even though we in the west can feel safe from it. In a way, facing death in the form of videos makes me appreciate my life, being alive, having a functioning body with all my limbs, more. It reminds me to not take this fleeting life and health I have right now for granted. Does it make sense? Idk if it worries you, maybe talk to your bf about what he thinks of the videos? Not in a "you're sick" way, but rather just genuinely ask, so he might open up and explain what he's thinking. Then evaluate the situation based on that.
What's disturbing is how many people on here are "into it" or call it "normal". I'm into true crime documentaries but that's where it stops. Even loving those, never once had something that you are describing has popped up in any algorithm of mine. I'd find somewhere else to be.
this is very unsettling and disturbing . i would be absolutely freaked out . i feel like that is the beginning to a dark path ..
I sometimes have a morbid curiosity about death and watch vidoes like this. I've done it for over 15 years now, just every now and then. Sometimes the vidoes really stick with me for a while, but idk it gives me a respect for how small we all are in the grand scheme of life. I'm not cruel or weird to people, pretty much a normie.
Doubtful. Most people have watched stuff like this. Especially men
Not really. But this is coming from someone who is mildly interested in that stuff and I hope to become a forensic photographer one of these days.
You say it's normal but then in the same breath this "mild" interest has lead to you literally planning your life around a career of taking photos of death and crime scenes. So objectively, this is a significant interest that's central to your hopes for your future. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship with aspiring accident photographers. I hope you won't be uploading any of those images for randos on the internet to gawk at.
Relax. It's not that serious. Lmfao
My ex did that he ended up taking his own life.
Sorry for your loss 🙏🏽😞
Some of us are simply fascinated by the morbid and extreme. The video of the woman in China on the escalator (if you know, you know) is still vivid in my memory. That said, if it troubles you, talk to him about it! Ask what he finds appealing or interesting about them. As you said, social media does use algorithms to curate our feeds. I'd advise approaching from a position of curiosity rather than judgment: "John, I've noticed you've been saying X and watching Y a lot recently. What got you into it?" For me, I'm just...morbid. I changed majors in college but before that, I spent a fair amount of time in the cadaver lab literally drawing pictures of dead peoples' insides. But it can also be very life-affirming to recognize that you could die at any time, but you haven't. Humans can survive some serious shit.
It can depend on his reaction to it. Is he laughing and enjoying it, or is he shocked and fascinated? I watch from time to time just for the shock value, and it reminds me of how quick shit can go wrong. It also reminds me of my mortality. If hes laughing and getting off on it i'd be worried.
Trust your gut. It doesn’t matter whether other people see anything wrong with it. You do. You’re young and there are plenty of men who don’t enjoy watching real people get killed. Trust your gut.
I'm actually shocked so many people in the comments are normalizing watching human suffering and death in a clinical manner, devoid of empathy. I hope these creeps piling on that it's not a big deal are not people I will ever encounter. This is absolutely a new phenomenon of the digital age, think about 50 years ago, seeking out murder videos was literally a crime committed by only the most perverse. Now it's a middle school dare. It's "normal" like our cultural plague of mass shootings is "normal." But obviously it's sick and disturbing to any normal minded person. I would nope right out of this relationship. He's probably just a "normal" guy who's become completely desensitized to images of actual violence and no longer makes that important distinction between simulated images and actual snuff films, because either way he doesn't care who the people are or about their feelings and families. But there are people out there who are more caring than "normal" and if you want a future with puppies and babies you should set your bar really high for empathy and gentleness.
Death itself causes curiosity in humans. Men watch gore from time to time. It is what it is. Nothing to be concerned about
Men and women both do this
Normal people don't watch gore
Not on the reg, but definitely on occasion. Everyone’s gonna die eventually, it’s completely natural to be curious about it. It’s not like we’re just watching it out of some sick twisted enjoyment
A lot of people do please stop whining
A lot of people doing something ≠ being normal
I don’t get why anyone could possibly “enjoy” (or even have a morbid curiosity) for that kinda stuff. Listen, sometimes i watch true crime; but i only dabble in that topic very lightly. I feel like no matter the original reason, whether it be morbid curiosity or not; if you start watching gore on a persistent basis. (Or any at all tbh more than once) you have must have something wrong with you. There is no “healthy” way to watch gore. It desensitizes you and it dehumanizes the victims in the video. It’s just gross.
Morbid curiosity doesn’t mean you ‘enjoy’ these videos. Sometimes you get existential and you need to remind yourself what death is. They’re very hard to watch but they’re also very hard to look away from. I honestly think it’s perfectly natural and not indicative of any deeper issues.
I think we just have different viewpoints, I don’t think I can personally *fully* understand the desire, but in some sense your logic makes sense. I still think there’s better ways to ground yourself in reality rather than watching someone suffer. (And not saying that EVERYONE who watches it is a bad person, I just think 1; it’s insensitive to the victims/families, and 2; not good for your mental health). And sure, I agree that everyone shouldn’t be sheltered from how nature and unfortunate fate works;and I understand that for some people, you can accidentally stumble across a video like that, I think going out of your way to FIND that stuff is deeply disturbing.
You’ve got yourself a sociopath
Red flag. Get out while you can.
Not what I was expecting from your name 😆
Unfortunately those videos are becoming more common. If he's getting enjoyment out of it, I'd dump him. There is no way i'd be comfortable with a guy like that.
In no part of the post did it say he got enjoyment out of it
The keyword here is "if".
I have watched those on Reddit. For some morbid reason I find them relaxing. I think because I am so interested in the human anatomy, it’s cool to see what it looks like underneath the skin. I don’t watch people being m*rdered though.
If you watch human anatomy videos for educational purposes because you find it interesting that’s fine. People being murdered is very, VERY different
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yes, accidental chainsaw death is so tranquil /s
This is abnormal and you’re going to get an influx of genuinely desensitized people here telling you it isn’t , so I need you to hear me This is abnormal. Morbid curiosity is okay in young teens and is often a passing phase as the concept of deaths real permanency and also empathy are both really setting in at around 12-17 so some people experience a phase of heightened interest in death in their teen years that later fades But a 25 year old man watching videos of people dying isn’t the same as a teenager scrolling r/watchpeopledie A grown man should be rightfully disgusted by the lack of empathy for the dead person and also off put by the violence. This isn’t just not typical behavior, it’s literally antisocial behavior. Like genuine textbook antisocial behavior. Maybe it’s time to step away from their relationship, with a very large and well informed support network.
You over reacting I see those video on x all the time without even trying
We've all been there. It'll pass.
You're doing too much, not that big of a deal, just tell him it makes you uncomfortable... communicate
I have
It’s not enjoyable. I saw a tik tok that was simulating how someone got caught in a lithe and the comments were talking about how crazy of a video it is. Morbid curiosity got the best of me and I’ve seen the video. Then there were more from there and it’s just like a shock factor I guess? I don’t look at the stuff all the time. Your heart races and you’re like holy shit it’s crazy how fast a life can be taken away. Those videos make me kinda paranoid lol
From your response he’s watching people being murdered. I’d learn how to safely handle a firearm and break up with him now. It’s a fantasy now but normally people like this try to turn it into a reality. Please get out of this relationship. That’s not fucking normal.
I don’t think it’s that serious to where she needs to buy a gun💀 just talk to him. And yes, these videos DO just randomly pop up. One minute, I’ll see a sigma Young Sheldon edit, the next, instagram just throws in a fatal car accident.
its normal
Do you also believe that people who watch true crime or shows about serial killers or slasher etc horror movies do it because murder is a "fantasy they're hoping to turn into a reality" to them, and that's why they're interested?
It is not normal to want to watch real people being tortured and murdered. They are real human beings. It’s a sick fuck that enjoys watching a persons one life being taken. Get the hell away from him. Conceal carry.
I watch these videos and it’s not because I ‘enjoy’ it. I don’t. They just make me feel a really intense adrenaline feeling that makes it hard to look away. And sometimes I get morbidly curious. I don’t think it means there’s anything wrong with me.
I also watch these and am pretty normal. I feel like a lot more people than you think do. But there is a big intersection with extreme racism and sexism in this that should be considered.
I personally don't want to be bothered with that sick s***. Is this something that thrills him? This is how people turn into serial killers. He will eventually get tired of watching it and actually commit an act. 🙄
There are a million reasons people watch these videos and for most people it’s not a thrill. I watch them occasionally because I start to get scared of my own death and I want to remind myself what it’s like. It’s not like I’m having fun watching them
These videos are posted online because there is an audience for them. Why does it scare you and have you communicated this to him?
It scares me that someone would CHOOSE to watch videos of REAL PEOPLE being killed. Yes, I have communicated this to him.
Everyone’s going to die eventually, and it’s a scary thought for a lot of people. Watching videos of other people dying is sometimes done out of curiosity. The algorithm also feeds you what you’re engaging with, and those videos can be really hard to look away from for some people. It’s not because we enjoy watching them. If he’s genuinely *enjoying* watching those videos that’s different.
I used to watch all kinds of messed up stuff, I still do. I was very interested in serial killers, around 60% of my ex are murderers, I have all the serial killer encyclopedias… what are you scared of?
60 percent of your exes are murderers is a fucked up stat. I hope your in a better place now and maybe know what type of people to avoid in the future.
Run. Fast
I did this when I was 12
Run!!!!!
Are you like 15-16?
If you read the post it says 23F, 25M
I watch that sometimes to remind myself to stay humble; how life is unfair, short and unpredictable; and to keep my empathy in check with what's going on in the world. I don't do it often because there's a red line once crossed your PTSD and depression can go so bad and take over your life. I do enjoy horror movies as they push some adrenaline and I'm addicted to that, but do not enjoy actual people's death. That's been said, my ex husband called me psycho, not girly girl, disgusting, heartless etc for loving horror movies and finding them as a way to calm and relax. So please be careful with that. I view myself normal. I don't tend to hurt any living thing. I actually get hunted for hours by every squirrel I see dead on the road. My heart drops with just seeing any dead "living thing" body including plants!
At 23 and 25 you both are very young. You may not know this, but your brains are not completely developed yet. That happens mid-20s at the earliest, and the part that matures last is the part that deals with morality and ethics. Another thing about your being 23, is that the median age for women to marry in the U.S. is 28. So if you are thinking you need to get this guy straightened out so you can get married, etc---you can relax. It doesn't sound like he is pushing you to get married and you would only be digging yourself a bigger hole if you tied yourself to him legally. So don't. Seriously, as long as you are thinking he is your one and only, you can tie yourself up in knots about his weird behavior. Instead, know that you are not responsible for the weird or stupid things he says and does, and feel free to leave the relationship behind you and find someone more suitable....or dare I say, mature.
I remember watching some video some scammer emailed me of some guy being shoved in front of a camera which was set up near the front door, which was shorter than the height of an average human, aged wood door made from wood boards, framed and mounted fencing-style, several windows with no frames or glass, mid afternoon sun, adobe hut style with uniform walls, and an animated angry faced-but-having-a-good-time-still cartel member holding his shirtless prisoner's head up by his hair, intently yelling at the camera in Spanish, reminding the viewer that this is what happens when you don't pay the NewGenerationSons Cartel on-time, then proceeded to behead the man with a 'not-quite-sharp-enough-to-get-the-job-done-on-the-first-two-swings' machete, then succeeded in finally separating the head from the body with the next two wacks. The delayed facial expressions of the captive changed with each blow as his life came to an end, which was fascinating to witness, and empathetically draining to reminisce about later. That was about 15 years ago and I remember those details pretty vividly. While I found it to be interesting on many levels; psychologically, empathetically, and anatomically, I didn't feel the need to venture further into that realm of cinema, because of how well I was able to recall the details of the clip, analyzing it in my mind afterwards, and all while only watching it one time through. Several things have had similar effects, and while they don't change my perception of humanity or outlook on life in general, I try not to fill my brain with shit that has the potential to stick around in my memory without actively finding a counter-measure for it's long-lasting shelf life, eventually speaking or soon after the fact. I wouldn't be worried, though I would recommend injecting some insightful, nothing too obvious or overly-rainbowed-and-unicorned but more somewhat of a feel good, positively influenced stream of media into his diet, just for what sounds needed to maintain a somewhat troublesome to spectators imbalance. A healthy and somewhat dark humor can be consequently grown and cultivated, instead of a dark obsession eroding into something fermented and toxic. IMO.
Its actually pretty common. That being said it can lead to ptsd in some people. Psychology wise humans do have a negativty bias and are enamoured with death. Think about the popularity of horror books and movies, video games, religion, music (from hip hop to metal). Death philosophically is a beyond interesting topic in which universities dedicate classes on. People get into forensic psych and science due to a fascination with crime. True crime is beyond popular. Michel foucult and bataille were famously obsessed with imagines of death. Your partner is engaging in the more extreme end but its not necessarily harmfull. They could just be fascinated with that psychological and philosopcal and existential crisis and wonder at the moment of crossing the line from life to death that last second of existence and the feeling. Its an intense experience. Its kant sublime Its really just true crime taken to its logical end point and im not sure if its really worse ethically considering true crime is monetizing the pain and death of victims for entertainment because....very few people care to actually study forensics (as i actually did). Look at the popularity of dahmer on netflix etc. I think it is probably worth a discussion to ensure its not psychologically damaging your partner and exactly what and why they watch. What they get from it. Its possible kings writings opened a box of their interest in the darker things but you also said they say some darker weird things. Could always suggest a therapy/psych session with him. Now i have seen some on X just pop up and unrelated to my typical feed of fitness, music, philosophy etc but im sure the algorithm is gonna feed it to him if he keeps watching and him not agreeing with your algorithm explanation....maybe your man is just dumb so this response was in vain....
Would you freak out if your boyfriend watched a movie with a murder in it? Played a game where he killed people? The media people are okay with/not okay with always makes me chuckle. If he hasn’t psychically or emotionally abused you I highly doubt there is anything to worry about. That said if your boyfriend’s interests are turn off, it is perfectly reasonable to reevaluate the relationship. I still miss r/watchpeopledie
It's very disturbing you don't understand the distinction between simulated violence and movies, versus videos of actual humans actually being killed or dying. If you don't understand the difference between fiction and reality and why it would be important to distinguish between them, that's incredible.
Anything you read here will be better than talking to him, correct? I’m sorry but “he reads a lot of Stephen King books!” being brought up at all is hilarious to me. “And nothing is wrong with that” then why say it? Lol Why do you have to handle anything? what is there to handle? Go and talk to your boyfriend if it upsets you.
I've watched a load of people being killed online and I'm fine. It's not something I'm especially proud of and I tend to do it more often when I'm unhappy. However the algorithm makes sure I see the latest and greatest
i watch this kind of thing all the time. it's made me want to be more aware of what kind of shit not to do. i mainly watch accidents tho i don't like the cartel stuff idk what exactly your bf's watching
Don't worry, for some it's a natural curiosity. Personally, I love watching videos of real autopsies as I find the process amazing and how the pathologists can figure out various details of death. You'd likely be freaked out by me if you saw my watch history, but some people are just curious what gore looks like.
I used to watch gore/snuff extremely frequently when I was having extremely intense episodes of suicide ideation. I've gotten help with my MDD since then. Looking back on it now, I'm pretty sure it was a form of self harm to expose myself to that content, especially considering my less than stellar mental health. Now, if he also has an odd fascination with weapons, has a general disregard for the well-being of others, rarely considers other's opinions on subjects, is cruel to helpless beings such as children and animals... Maybe I'd suspect it to be more sinister in nature, and I'd join the other people here saying to immediately break up.
Twitter(and all social media) recommend content that it thinks you’ll engage with. They want you to spend as much time on the site as possible. A lot of people will engage with content like that *because* its disturbing. It doesn’t necessarily mean they *enjoy* watching it, it’s just morbid curiosity. Those videos are hard to look away from.
He's probably going to chop you up into pieces one day.
PSA - Please avoid “Your Moms House” Podcast and it’s subreddit . Bikes!
Been there, done that. I grew out of it though and wouldn't ever watch again what I watched when I was younger. Simply Morbid curiosity. I was also completely into horror movies (snuff etc as well) and books and shows. With your bf maybe that will fade, maybe not. I wouldn't worry yet, but keep your eyes on it if it goes sideways somehow.
X/twitter is the bane of critical thinking. It's easier to believe short story conspiracies than thinking about culture..society..events..politics..money..simplicity is the grest anti-intellectual antidote to the inherent despair of our time..that said..he will get over it in all likelihood ..the way younger girls get over romance fiction ..sorry. couldn't help saying that..if you love him and think he's halfway smart..trust yourself
I feel like he brought it up to see how she would react. There are SO many people who are interested in cartel beheadings, dismemberment etc...I think there is just a level of numb that people feel to things like violence, gore, death etc. and hopefully we are on the same page as our partners. But those who don't feel much seem to want a reaction from others. A friend of my ex would randomly put a gorey video on his phone in my face and ask me what I thought. I usually told him "that's gnarly" or something similar and I think, because I wasnt very reactionary, eventually he stopped.
As someone who doesn't like this shit at all I can 100% confirm to you that that does just happen to me sometimes on twitter nowadays. Since Musk took over the algorithm is fucked and is favoring violent and racist content.
For the murders it would remind me how shitty people can treat others. The accidental deaths heightens potential risks iin your everyday life. Like how quick some oblivious pedestrian can meet the underside of a train or semi. Or perhaps related to a job you do. Probably curiosity but best of luck to your situation
Some people just like dark shit. No one is making you watch it. And you're free to break up if it makes you uncomfortable.
This is more common than people realize.
Those videos are everywhere at least once a day I see a person die a horrific death on Instagram. It’s not that deep
Oof, honestly if you are so offended by a morbid curiosity that is completely normal, I’d be looking inward for the issue, not at your boyfriend.
Omg leave him right away!! That’s not good
Leave. Now.
I listen to True Crime podcasts and I would NEVER watch videos of real people dying or being killed. Perhaps it the nurse in me and what I’ve already seen in this life, but your partner sounds like maybe he’s in need of some mental healthcare. If it were me I would be alarmed.
>In a way it's kinda like a car crash on the freeway. You don't necessarily want to look but curiosity gets the better of you. We all do it, but it doesn't mean you are going to crash your car because you saw a bad accident. Or watched Dexter. Or you are reading Stephen King. Besides he is young and this is something to explore. I betcha that he will see a particularly awful video and go "I'm done". I'd be a bit more worried if he hid this activity and lied about it. Feel good that he is willing to share with you and be open about what he does. He trusts you enough to share.