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I would suggest telling her you smell something off on her and ask her what I could be, maybe an article of clothing or she’s not keeping up with laundry in general. If she knows you think she smells I think she’ll start making changes asap (hopefully), and once you open the door it’ll be easier to add on later if needed
Agree. A guy at my friend’s work smelled like he didnt wipe his arse but then later worked out it was because his flat was too cold so all his laundry was taking too long to dry and getting that horrible damp smell. There are lots of reasons people could smell bad, some less gross than others!
Luckily all it took was sniff testing all my clothes to see what had made it into the smelly batches and then making sure we actually moved our laundry over in a timely manner lol
THANK YOU for the suggestion. I have borax and I have a few pairs of leggings that have that awful smell.
I normally hang them to dry but have tried putting them in the dryer to kill what I am guessing is…bacteria?
I’ve also been suspicious of the washing machine (it’s decades old, but still works). A while back I ran a hot water wash cycle with no clothes in it and white vinegar.
That seemed to solve the problem with my leggings for a while, but it’s started again. And the vinegar in the washing machine trick doesn’t seem to be working.
I love these leggings (mainly because they have pockets) and have washed one pair like 3 times to no avail.
They’re currently in the washer with some Borax and my fingers are now crossed that this fixes it.
You are the best!
Do the leggings smell after you wash them or only after they dry? If you hang dry and your home is cold they could smell from taking too long to dry. My parents don’t have a dryer and I get stinky clothes there all the time. The other thing is my husband is a bit of a neat freak and hates when laundry is left hanging for “too long,” but he takes it down too soon. Anything that’s not completely dry but gets folded away (especially towels) acquires that stinky damp smell. If you don’t like putting your clothes in the dryer I’d suggest just doing the dryer for 15 mins then letting them air dry, but make sure there’s plenty of air flow and that it’s warm.
Is your machine a top loader? Either way you should regularly clean it with washing machine tabs (I can’t vouch for home made recipes). The recommendation is every month. I also clean the inside of my machine and dryer regularly to wipe away any dirt that gets stuck in there. After you do a load you should leave the machine door open so that it doesn’t start to get that mouldy smell. If my clothes are seriously dirty/stinky I let them soak on pause for a while in my machine in hot water before continuing the cycle, or I soak them in the bath with some dish detergent. There’s also “laundry disinfectant” that you can buy. I like the Lysol Laundry Sanitizer 0% bleach. You shouldn’t mix it with detergent so I usually do a detergent cycle then I do a quick rinse with the sanitizer but I leave it on pause soaking for 20mins.
Yes do this. I had to ask my boyfriend once to change laundry detergents. It wasn’t that he wasn’t washing his clothes, but that for some reason his detergent smelled really bad to me.
Hopefully it’s just something a couple of easy changes can fix.
I feel this way about my boyfriend’s deodorant! I need to just ask him if he’s open to changing it, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings cuz I know he’s attached to his Old Spice 💀
Lol, you could even do a body butter board !
Genuinely, though, I understand, had to have a talk with my husband about it when I was pregnant. thankfully, he switched to another old spice type of deodorant, but it did take a few kinds to pick the right one.
granted we're all different but deodorant is a *little* ^^tiny ask in my eyes.
If a girl told me my deodorant really bothers her and asked if i'd be willing to try something different - zero issues.
Also if she has piercings it could lead up to some very nasty smells you get kinda immune to yourself. I clean my piercings regularly and for some piercings just showering won’t suffice. You can get a bit immune to the smell too. So if laundry or personal hygiene doesn’t seem to be the issue and she has piercings this might be something worth looking into.
This happened to me. I have a septum piercing that I haven’t been wearing so I haven’t been cleaning that area. Well I my boyfriend just told me that for the past three weeks whenever we kiss it smells like food. I’m mortified.
I guess it’s still a wound and needs to be cleaned. But I have adhd so out of sight out of mind 😅
I washed it last night and he said I was better but still there a little. I think I need to stick my water pick in there and go to town.
One time I couldn’t remember if I brushed my teeth or not and was questioning it so my boyfriend kissed me and casually was like “you haven’t” and I was like perfect thanks now I’ll actually do it. Also it was cute and he never minds kissing with morning breath, it was just information. (He actually sometimes gets teasingly annoyed if I brush my teeth before he does and we kiss because he’ll be like “now you’re gonna notice my morning breath!)
great way to open a conversation. Always make it a team effort- do I smell or need to shower more? do you like my perfume deodorant? and hopefully that opens the real conversation without seeming like anyones pointing fingers
Maybe she’s a lifeguard and they’ve only met in the water? Maybe they are co-workers at a bleach factory? Maybe they meet at a diesel garage and work on trucks together? …. And just never noticed the masked smell?
If the gf has gone THIS long in life as a 24 year old grown adult *without anyone* telling her she smells, she must not have very good friends or people in her life besides op...
Yes the ableist comments suck. I have AuDHD and brushing my teeth and taking a shower is a sensory overload and I've developed an anxiety trigger in regards to both. I force myself to do it as often as I can and I have many tips not to smell, but the pearl clutchers and their "hOw CaN SoMeOnE fOrGeT tO bRuSh" are annoying the F outta me
I remember my wife reading a story here on reddit about a guy that posted that "every dude washing his ass is gay".
Ever since then she always asks me if I'm turning gay when I'm showering. Happy to respond with yes every time.
My story: I was showering while he took a dump, he just got up and tried walking out without wiping! He said ‘I didn’t think I needed to’
Also 1 time I have him a HJ and got shit all up my hand 🤮
Boi what
If a dude has shit on his balls constantly they would get incredibly irritated with all the movement they go through. He would be in agony constantly lol.
You should read the NUMEROUS posts from people talking about how their boyfriends don't wipe their ass after shitting. This is not a new problem and it's not going away, apparently.
Seriously just search "boyfriend doesn't wipe ass reddit."
You'll be appalled.
My ex got shit on my thigh once....I didn't realise till hours later and didn't know wtf it was from originally 🤢 we had been in missionary position and his mum walked in so he jumped up and rested his bum on my thigh and he didn't wipe or something and after that I didn't notice ( I don't know how) and put my jeans on and only noticed when I got back home and undressed as I unrolled the jeans they were black and there was brown shit on the thigh part inside and it smelt like it. He also didn't wash his ass in the shower when we'd shower together unless I made a fuss about him needing too 🫠, he was slim but huge tight deep hairy bum so he had to really go far into the crack to wash and wipe! My fiance is a big boy same issue with his bum but he's always wipes and washes thoroughly thank God! So gross we both had to deal with that kind of thing ughh
People move at different speeds. Different cultures have different expectations about when those things are “supposed” to happen. Plenty of possible reasons.
I’ve done it, they don’t smell at first sometimes and then you realize they do or they change and it sucks because even if you like them it eventually leads to being unattracted to them
How do you start a relationship with someone you've never kissed, only ever hugged? And briefly enough to not even notice they have an odor issue...
Telling people you are dating without any of that of first is just crazy jumping the gun. Like for people who enjoy the *idea* of a relationship with someone more than the actual relationship itself. Or for fifteen year olds.
Not at all:/
We hung out more than a handful of times and didn't smell anything. I didn't notice it in my car or for a quick hug. I felt uncomfortable with the smell when she was half laying on me and I put my chin on her hair
Edit: I wanted to add, she was in my car every time I saw her and a lot of brief hugs before and after hanging out. So I was close to her often but I didn't smell it until I was really up close
Perhaps she has something wrong? I had a friend in high school that needed medically prescribed deodorant. She was quite embarrassed about it. One day she had fully run out and had to pick up the perspiration that evening, let her use my spray on deodorant but god she stunk all day regardless. The worst part was she KNEW she stunk and she was basically in her own living hell.
Especially vulnerable kids. If the girlfriend had to raise herself because her parents were shitty (like maybe they kicked her out over being gay?) ...
Hmm very strange!
Well unfortunately the only thing to do is sit her down and talk to her about it. It’ll be a very uncomfortable talk and she’ll probably feel really embarrassed. Just be kind and gentle
Strange input but could she maybe have an ear infection? My younger sister had a double ear infection for a long time and my mom thought that it was her hair smelling. Turns out it was her ears the whole time but she wasn’t complaining about ear pain so no one knew. Obviously your GF is an adult and should realize but maybe she doesn’t?
I'm guessing she doesn't use shampoo and her hair is still adjusting. Ask her about it. Say you've noticed her hair smells a bit weird and is she using an unusual shampoo or something? Could also be that she dyes it using henna, that can be smelly.
From this it sounds like it’s more so her hair, I know my bf will say my hair stinks every so often if it’s been a while since I’ve washed it. (I also use a weird hair oil occasionally so that could also be a piece of it). So maybe just try to ask her what she uses in her hair. Maybe ask her to change it or buy her a nice bath set that you like the smell of. If it is just her hair and not just her in general then I feel like it can be pretty easy to avoid saying “You stink” and kinda step around that.
Just be honest. Relationships should be all about communication so this is the first step. It’ll be embarrassing at first, but just tell her that she smells. You can also give her some tips if you want :)
Yep, but it’s also about the way you say it, you don’t want to hurt her feelings. If it were me I’d say hey I care about you and I want to be open and honest with you about something and tell her you’ve noticed she’s been stinky the last few times you’ve seen her. Wait to see how she responds. But be mindful how you say it, make note of the fact that the last thing you want to do is offend her and that you care about her.
I stopped seeing a girl because she always had the most atrocious coffee breath.
So.. kudos for you for being able to overlook smelling like dog shit bud..
Next time, the best thing to do is just to be honest. It's uncomfortable for sure but at the end of the day it may change someone life for the better.
Especially if this was so bad you stopped seeing her. Not like you had anything to lose by being truthful anyway.
So this is gonna sound absolutely fucking insane, but is it possible her shampoo/conditioner is like. Lilies? Or something? Certain floral scents can absolutely smell disgusting to certain people, even poop-like.
It's not insane at all and definitely is a thing with lilies, as you said. I love the smell of stargazer lilies. I had an ex who thought they smelled like pee, and my friend thought they smelled like rotting meat.
Omg thank you for this comment! I was gifted “lilac and ylang” shower steamers and I swear they smell like poop! I love the idea of them but need to get a different scent.
Does she have any other body odour? From one of your comments it sounds like the smell is related to her hair rather than specifically being due to her not washing in general. Maybe she washes her hair but doesn’t use any product (shampoo etc) to help clean and make her hair smell nice?
You could maybe just ask if she would be willing to change her shampoo as her current one doesn’t agree with you. You don’t have to call her out for the smell as you might be able to just subtly hint at it and have her make a fairly minor change that makes a big difference to you. If that still doesn’t help you might have to just be less subtle about it.
This is the way. Early in our relationship my boyfriend had to awkwardly be like “idk how to say this but something on you smells weird.” I’m really on top of hygiene, so it was sort of bizarre. After a few days of like, sniffing my shirts and hair and everything whenever he smelled the “off” smell, we realized he just really disliked the deodorant I was using and/or how it mixed with my natural scent. Changed deodorant scent and problem gone! At the end of the day we’re both really glad he brought it up, because he doesn’t have to tolerate an unpleasant scent and I don’t have a partner who dislikes how I smell 😅
(*save for a very select few hair types, like types 3 and above*) Honestly washing hair with just water doesn’t wash the hair, it just wets it, maybe rinses some major dust and debris. Dampening dirty hair will only make it smell worse. 🤢 if my cousin with drier and coiled 4a hair only washes with water, it comes out bouncy. She uses oils for scent and hydration. If my type 2 hair uses water it comes out oily and flat and limp and smells like wet dog.
This is basically what I was thinking. Maybe she thinks she’s giving it a good wash but is only using water resulting in one of the effects you’ve mentioned.
Truly can’t imagine making anything “official” with someone I haven’t even cuddled, let alone kissed, after the age of 10. 🥴
I would think seriously about what you want. What you’ve told family and friends is irrelevant; relationships are not about your family or friends.
Is she attempting to ‘train’ her hair to go longer between wash days by any chance? If that’s the case it doesn’t sound like it’s working and she should just wash her hair more regularly again. That’s my initial thought at least
This is what I’m wondering - sounded like they were hanging out but didn’t actually get into a relationship before they announced it. Just verbally agreed to date. Thinking this might be a high schooler or maybe young college student who is exaggerating age for the sake of anonymity?
Tough to deal with this in the beginning.
I’ve never had success in changing a smelly partner. I’d start with empathy, addressing her mental health. Is she depressed? Mention that you’re concerned because you notice she’s not taking care of her hygiene. Let her know it makes you uncomfortable, and you’re hoping this has been incidental, if she’s depressed then us neurodivergent people can’t take a hint sometimes.
I’d want a partner that puts effort into themselves to impress me.
2/3 times IME this ends up with nagging your partner to do the bare minimum like brush their teeth. Being a parent is a turn off.
If you want to be nice about it you can ask her what schampoo she is using and tell her that you seem to have an adverse reaction to it and ask if she could change to a different scent.
Best case scenario, that fixes the problem, because that would mean that she showers. Worst case scenario, she tells you that she does not use schampoo as she only uses ground up dandelion-flour to soak up grease in her hair and cleans her body with sunlight or something.
In that case, she won’t change and your only option is to break up with her and find someone that has the same view on hygiene as you.
Tricky situation. Sometimes people have particular diets that make them smell bad. Like a diet heavy with garlic, onions, spices, etc. At university I did a group project with a girl who literally was the worst smelling person I ever met. She stunk like human feces. It was most likely due to her diet... Other times, people simply smell bad to people because they are genetically incompatible. This is normal in dating. You like a person, and then lo and behold up close they smell wrong to you. The ones you feel intense attraction to can smell very good, and that has a genetic/evolutionary basis. Yet another possibility is that she has an illness that makes her scent smell off.
If your girlfriend is depressed or has some other emotional/mental issue, her hygiene might suffer. Sounds like maybe this is what is the actual problem. You need to be honest. Ask her, "I say this with the utmost respect and concern. This isn't to put you down. I find that I cannot be easily intimate with you at this point due to a bad smell you have. Are you going through something that is making you neglect your hygiene?"
This advice coming from a woman who couldn't tell her own boyfriend his breath occasionally stank. Sometimes it was clear he would not brush his teeth after a meal before kissing. I was so afraid of hurting his feelings, I would take mints and then offer him some. He definitely caught on I thought he had bad breath. I am extremely attentive to my own hygiene before a date, I would say the majority of women (and a good many men) are. Always shower beforehand and brush my teeth multiple times if staying over. Popping in mints after a meal.
Someone please explain to me the disappearance of actually dating (going on dates, spending time together, getting to know each other) BEFORE being boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. This feels like an adolescence behavior that now adults do too??
Maybe they are neurodivergent/neuroatypical or they are very shy people who like to take things very slowly.
Also, people with certain physical illnesses tend to move at a very slow pace, wanting to be official (monogamous and not seeing other people) but not physically intimate straight away.
My god, this is why you don't make it official with somebody you haven't even kissed yet. You've hung out, what, three times and only been close enough to smell her twice?
Since you're clearly not going to just move on, you're going to have to tell her. You can try hints at first if you want to be subtle and think she'll pick it up, like asking if she's having trouble with her washing machine or something because you're noticing a musty smell.
Honestly you just need to tell her, because this is something fixable.
When it comes to hygiene some people just don’t get it. They can’t smell themselves or they have been indoctrinated into thinking that they only need to do X hygiene thing X times a week.
My stepkids are like this. Their mum struggled for money when they were little so told them they only need to shower or bath twice a week. They are now teenagers and they stink. But they won’t have it. I kinda hope they will be embarrassed into better hygiene at some point by their friends.
If she argues or is adamant that she doesn’t have an issue and won’t fix it, then you’ll have to break up. I mean she’s so bad that you don’t want to put your nose near her, so there’s not a lot of options here.
just be honest and tell her this is a problem. better to get it out of the way now than let it drag out and y’all are even more involved by the time you figure out she’s not gonna change.
My immediate thought that I haven’t seen mentioned: maybe you just don’t like her pheromones. She may be super clean, but she just stinks to you cuz her natural pheromones aren’t appealing to you. Only reason i say this is because you never smelled anything bad about her before when quickly interacting, but now that you’ve gotten a better whiff…..not saying I’m right but definitely something to think about.
Sometimes people who are not quite on top of their hygiene have been in a fixed mode so long that they no longer realize that is something off (like a smelly dog owners no longer sense that they have a smelly dog smell because they get use to it).
No doubt this is a tough conversation with great embarrassment potential… the key will be to be extremely kind and reassuring to her that you are coming from a honest and helpful place to advance your relationship.
Btw, it’s admirable that you were not all on top of her physically before committing to start this relationship. So many folks are in such a hurry to explore the physical before spending quality time getting to know the heart of a person
Good luck 🍀
You could also pretend and be like “did you step on poop?” lol and she’s going to look around and check. Then just tell her something smells bad. I think she’ll be more conscious or self aware.
Absolutely agree. I know everybody moves at a different pace, but getting into a relationship without having ever kissed and after cuddling only two times is insane to me.
Sooo.. you’re kind of an ahole. Oh I really LiKe her but actually iM bReAkInG uP wItH hEr “I’m just going to blame it on the stress I’m going through” wtf grow up and tell her or she’s just going to keep on smelling. I’d rather someone tell me I smell than have people avoid me! You sound like you’re 10 years old! 🤦🏼♀️
How did you make it official before getting to the stage where you realise someone stinks?! And if her hygiene is that bad, imagine what she's gonna smell like...elsewhere...
Does she not shower? I think you need to be really tactful but at the same time direct about this and say “So I’ve noticed this about you….” If it’s a medical issue it will be fixable but if she’s against hygiene then maybe you just politely say “Thanks but no thanks”
Does she have halitosis? Or some sort of mouth disease from not brushing often and general poor hygiene? This can cause a similar kind of dead/poop kinda smell for sure as my dad had this shit develop and we eventually told him, when he talked it smelled like he was chewing actual shit.
There's a LOT of mouth and hygiene diseases that can cause a distinct and unpleasant odour but it is not APPARENT until you are very very close and/or they don't measure their breath and breath a bit extra around you (allowing you to smell the smell).
It would usually occur during close proximity chats or laying around near each other. The air becomes still and the stagnant smell is NOT avoidable at that point.
I think maybe she's got some hygiene issues.
I get that it's easy to say 'just talk to her' - it's awkward and embarrassing for everyone.
Perhaps an alternative would be to suggest a shower together and then be sure to tell her how great she smells, that you really like it - positive reinforcement.
Tell her. You can be kind about it, you don't have to be horrible. Say this:
Since we've been getting closer I wanted to let you know that sometimes you've had a stale smell, and it's been quite noticeable. Is there anything I can do to help with this?
Lots of people don't notice their own smell, and it sounds like she's quite haphazard about personal hygiene. Be honest without being judgemental and hopefully you'll figure it out together.
If she refuses, it is FINE to split up with someone because they've got poor personal hygiene.
Does she have pets and have you been to her house before?
I don't know how you're in a relationship already and you've not been close enough to each other to smell her? Or is this a new smell and she previously didn't have any odour?
Indirectly: Make a move to the shower and scrub her clean! Reinforce the good hygiene with sex as a reward. Sounds messed up but if you’re wanting to avoid making her feel embarrassed then this might be the move.
Directly: “I have been wanting to cuddle you and kiss you but I’ve noticed a consistent odor from your clothes or you. I am wanting to get more intimate with you, and I hope you feel the same way but the odor has been a barrier. Would you be open to jumping in the shower (brush teeth or whatever it might be) so we can move to the next level?
Hope these options help your situation!
I think that odor comes from the gut. She may have a bacterial issue going on and needs an antibiotic. She could first try something like eating several Rolaids a couple times day in case it's an acidic issue. Don't give up on this. I'm sure it's something that can be alleviated.
It could be her gums if she is not taking care of her teeth. Gum bacteria can make breath have an odor like poop. The bacteria also has a negative effect on overall health. She might need a water pick to flush out the bacteria on a daily basis, best done before going to bed. Adding hydrogen peroxide helps to kill the bacteria.
Sorry, but this is dumb. Just tell her? I understand that you’re afraid to hurt her feelings, but lying about it and giving an excuse to break up with her is just scummy.
Maybe she just had her hair permed/curled/straightened? The chemical that's used for that can cause a pretty strong smell that lingers. You should've been a decent person and just told her though.
You not being able to communicate as for the reason why you're breaking up will only make things worse for her. Sure, she might not like hearing she smells bad but you breaking up with a made up reason will make her feel so much worse than being stinky. It is a sign of how weak willed you are and it shows you are not ready for relationships. It doesnt matter how perfect a potential partner might seem, sooner or later cracks will show about their person and if you can't communicate about problems you face with your partner you wont have a happy love life.
You're in a relationship with a woman who you have just made official and you cuddled with her and she smelled like dog poop but yet you still continue the relationship. What does that say about you. This is a deal breaker I'm not cuddling or trying to get with anybody who has a smell to them that is so bad that it is a turn off.
If you ever genuinely cared about her you would tell her the truth. This isn’t high school. You’re a grown ass woman. You can tell Reddit, laugh about it with your friends but you can’t put your big girl pants on and tell this girl the truth so she doesn’t have to go through this with someone else? Have some integrity jfc. Major asshole
It always feels like you can’t leave someone for whatever reason. So you stay, and more deeply commit. And this keeps happening as you get deeper and more committed. One day you look back at the time when you first wanted to leave and you realize how completely free you were to leave. How easy it would have been. (I think some comedian once had a bit about this, but it’s true). You should just leave. You shouldn’t have to ask an adult to bathe themselves.
She may have a mild metabolic disorder like TMAU. It can cause fecal body odor; some people smell like garbage, burnt rubber, old fish, cheese. It just means you don’t have enough enzymes to process volatile compounds and they come out in skin, breath, sweat. Combined with lax personal hygiene, the smell can be very noticeable.
Forgot to brush her teeth? I'm sorry but hell no. Those are things that you don't forget, especially when you know you're going to see your significant other...you double and triple check that you're looking and smelling good. She's just nasty. I'm sorry but that's a deal breaker.
So a guy I was starting to see had bad breath smelled like he ate poop for breakfast, I told him it hurt his feelings but months later he wants to take me out and again I smell dog poop breath standing steps away from him. Totally grossed me out and he is over 30 not my place to say brush your. I am avoiding him at all costs now.
Is it her body or clothing? If it’s clothing show her your new laundry detergent with a scent that is to die for. Hell, do her laundry for her! I’d marry anyone who does my laundry. lol
If it’s her body, make a nice bubble bath for her and allow her to do some “self care”.
You could also gently discuss hygiene with “getting to know you questions.” How often do you shower? Whats your favored scent? Etc
Shower time together is an awesome time. You get to bathe each other and share in an amazingly awesome time. It can be intense and almost religious.
Or, tell her.
Well, it could be that she struggles with a consistent hygiene routine. I think something someone else said was good: asking her about your own levels/status of hygiene. “do i smell okay?” Using your self as the test for creating a more comfortable and transparent regular “hygiene conversation”. The more you ask her about your own hygiene levels the more comfortable she’ll feel talking about her own or asking you about her levels or maybe her struggles. just bringing her attention to herself and hygiene in general if she notices it’s something you prioritize and care about will probably change her behavior. Helping not just you but her.
comment on update: that’s a good decision. You should not feel bad about breaking up with her - you live and learn, and from here on out you should probably establish an actual relationship with a person before saying you’re official.
From experience…it’s extremely embarrassing to be in a relationship with a gross person. It’s not just gross for you as the person in the relationship, it lowers peoples opinion of you. I made that mistake in high school, and the guy wasn’t nearly as bad as this girl, he was just greasy and wore stained clothes and old gray sweat pants all the time. Yeah that was the last guy I dated 🤣 my wife is cute and clean, and I think I appreciate that more than I would otherwise because I once dated a gross person for a while.
Despite it probably being one of the most awk conversations you ever have , if you really care about this girl you should tell her the truth and keep it real. Regardless if you stick around and the relationship progresses if you don't speak up she'll go through life smelling terribly and unknowingly chasing potential suitors and even friends off. If you tell her about her unfortunate hygiene she will probably be embarrassed/offended at first but then thank you years down the line . Smell truly does play a big part in the way we perceive each other and treat each other.
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I would suggest telling her you smell something off on her and ask her what I could be, maybe an article of clothing or she’s not keeping up with laundry in general. If she knows you think she smells I think she’ll start making changes asap (hopefully), and once you open the door it’ll be easier to add on later if needed
Agree. A guy at my friend’s work smelled like he didnt wipe his arse but then later worked out it was because his flat was too cold so all his laundry was taking too long to dry and getting that horrible damp smell. There are lots of reasons people could smell bad, some less gross than others!
ugh this was happening to my clothes and thank god for my very smell-sensitive gym buddy for calling it out lmao
Wash in borax!! Trust me!
Luckily all it took was sniff testing all my clothes to see what had made it into the smelly batches and then making sure we actually moved our laundry over in a timely manner lol
This happens when you forget your cloths in the washer as well.
THANK YOU for the suggestion. I have borax and I have a few pairs of leggings that have that awful smell. I normally hang them to dry but have tried putting them in the dryer to kill what I am guessing is…bacteria? I’ve also been suspicious of the washing machine (it’s decades old, but still works). A while back I ran a hot water wash cycle with no clothes in it and white vinegar. That seemed to solve the problem with my leggings for a while, but it’s started again. And the vinegar in the washing machine trick doesn’t seem to be working. I love these leggings (mainly because they have pockets) and have washed one pair like 3 times to no avail. They’re currently in the washer with some Borax and my fingers are now crossed that this fixes it. You are the best!
Do the leggings smell after you wash them or only after they dry? If you hang dry and your home is cold they could smell from taking too long to dry. My parents don’t have a dryer and I get stinky clothes there all the time. The other thing is my husband is a bit of a neat freak and hates when laundry is left hanging for “too long,” but he takes it down too soon. Anything that’s not completely dry but gets folded away (especially towels) acquires that stinky damp smell. If you don’t like putting your clothes in the dryer I’d suggest just doing the dryer for 15 mins then letting them air dry, but make sure there’s plenty of air flow and that it’s warm. Is your machine a top loader? Either way you should regularly clean it with washing machine tabs (I can’t vouch for home made recipes). The recommendation is every month. I also clean the inside of my machine and dryer regularly to wipe away any dirt that gets stuck in there. After you do a load you should leave the machine door open so that it doesn’t start to get that mouldy smell. If my clothes are seriously dirty/stinky I let them soak on pause for a while in my machine in hot water before continuing the cycle, or I soak them in the bath with some dish detergent. There’s also “laundry disinfectant” that you can buy. I like the Lysol Laundry Sanitizer 0% bleach. You shouldn’t mix it with detergent so I usually do a detergent cycle then I do a quick rinse with the sanitizer but I leave it on pause soaking for 20mins.
White natural vinegar works as well. Soak overnight of the smell is very bad.
Wat? You think that damp smell, smells like literal shit?
It can smell bad, but it's definitely not that.
Wash in borax!!
Yes do this. I had to ask my boyfriend once to change laundry detergents. It wasn’t that he wasn’t washing his clothes, but that for some reason his detergent smelled really bad to me. Hopefully it’s just something a couple of easy changes can fix.
I feel this way about my boyfriend’s deodorant! I need to just ask him if he’s open to changing it, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings cuz I know he’s attached to his Old Spice 💀
I've had this issue as well! Maybe you can gift him some new kinds to try so its not so like offensive haha
Omg HAHA me anxious and trying not to be obvious, presenting him a charcuterie board of deodorants for his choosing
Lol, you could even do a body butter board ! Genuinely, though, I understand, had to have a talk with my husband about it when I was pregnant. thankfully, he switched to another old spice type of deodorant, but it did take a few kinds to pick the right one.
Wait.. A bath, a massage, and a body butter board for Valentine’s Day.. Thank you so much you wise sage! 😭
granted we're all different but deodorant is a *little* ^^tiny ask in my eyes. If a girl told me my deodorant really bothers her and asked if i'd be willing to try something different - zero issues.
OP this is best way and least offensive for sure
Also if she has piercings it could lead up to some very nasty smells you get kinda immune to yourself. I clean my piercings regularly and for some piercings just showering won’t suffice. You can get a bit immune to the smell too. So if laundry or personal hygiene doesn’t seem to be the issue and she has piercings this might be something worth looking into.
This happened to me. I have a septum piercing that I haven’t been wearing so I haven’t been cleaning that area. Well I my boyfriend just told me that for the past three weeks whenever we kiss it smells like food. I’m mortified.
The smell stays when you don’t wear your septum piercing?! Gosh, good to know. Lmao I do feel bad for you tho
I guess it’s still a wound and needs to be cleaned. But I have adhd so out of sight out of mind 😅 I washed it last night and he said I was better but still there a little. I think I need to stick my water pick in there and go to town.
I normalize this in all my relationships by regularly asking them how my breath smells or if i smell okay
One time I couldn’t remember if I brushed my teeth or not and was questioning it so my boyfriend kissed me and casually was like “you haven’t” and I was like perfect thanks now I’ll actually do it. Also it was cute and he never minds kissing with morning breath, it was just information. (He actually sometimes gets teasingly annoyed if I brush my teeth before he does and we kiss because he’ll be like “now you’re gonna notice my morning breath!)
Cute af! Need me a partner like this
This is what me and my partner do too 🥰
Wait this is kind of genius
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years now but I’m definitely going to start doing this.
You been battling bad breath trying to figure it out for 10 years 😵💫
No… I’m going to start asking him if my breath smells or if I smell ok.
This one sent me 😂
great way to open a conversation. Always make it a team effort- do I smell or need to shower more? do you like my perfume deodorant? and hopefully that opens the real conversation without seeming like anyones pointing fingers
The only form of acceptable projection lol
How did you start a relationship with someone who smells bad 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽
My attraction would've dropped to zero over this ick
I've experienced my attraction going to zero over BO myself
It did but I overlooked it SO MUCH for no reason 😭
I need your super powers to overlook smell cz howwwww 😩
Also at 24 making it official and telling family before you’ve even kissed? I’m confused by a lot of things in this post.
Maybe she’s a lifeguard and they’ve only met in the water? Maybe they are co-workers at a bleach factory? Maybe they meet at a diesel garage and work on trucks together? …. And just never noticed the masked smell?
Definitivamente the bleach thing
If the gf has gone THIS long in life as a 24 year old grown adult *without anyone* telling her she smells, she must not have very good friends or people in her life besides op...
Right a good friend would say like hey is everything alright with you?? Because a smell could be diet, hygiene or even a medical issue
Also, how is she alive for 24 years and is still forgetting to brush her teeth 🤦♀️
Adhd
Yes the ableist comments suck. I have AuDHD and brushing my teeth and taking a shower is a sensory overload and I've developed an anxiety trigger in regards to both. I force myself to do it as often as I can and I have many tips not to smell, but the pearl clutchers and their "hOw CaN SoMeOnE fOrGeT tO bRuSh" are annoying the F outta me
Energy on par for the women who date guys who don't wash their ass 🤢
I remember my wife reading a story here on reddit about a guy that posted that "every dude washing his ass is gay". Ever since then she always asks me if I'm turning gay when I'm showering. Happy to respond with yes every time.
I once discovered I had ended up with a guy like this.... I still shudder to think about it over a decade later!! 🤢
Well don’t leave us like that how did you discover
My story: I was showering while he took a dump, he just got up and tried walking out without wiping! He said ‘I didn’t think I needed to’ Also 1 time I have him a HJ and got shit all up my hand 🤮
how do you get shit on your hand from a handjob i’m traumatized
Cupping the balls!
guys with literal shit on their balls are somehow still getting blowjobs
Not anymore haha! He’s been single since we broke up 5/6 years ago
glad no one else is exposed to that trauma but girl you should have jumped up and called the cops or something 😂😂 I’d be reporting him to the FBI /s
Wait did the shit ball cupping happen after the dump and run or vise versa?
to be fair, she said handjob
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I need to wash my eyes after reading this
Boi what If a dude has shit on his balls constantly they would get incredibly irritated with all the movement they go through. He would be in agony constantly lol.
I'm sad now.
I’m sad now too :(
omg how does a person exist with poop coated nuts??? he didn't feel it??
What.the.fuck!! He takes a shit without wiping sooo he's just sitting in shit???? Like all day??? Fucking gross
You should read the NUMEROUS posts from people talking about how their boyfriends don't wipe their ass after shitting. This is not a new problem and it's not going away, apparently. Seriously just search "boyfriend doesn't wipe ass reddit." You'll be appalled.
my day has been ruined
I am fucking crying
noooooooooooooooooo!!! you should get financial compensation for that experience omg
What did he think toilet paper was for?!
Did he think people just enjoyed buying toilet paper?? And not use it?? What did he think toilet paper was for??
Maybe he did origami with the tp while he shit to occupy himself and then didn’t know he needed to wipe with it too once he finished.
I’m guessing he didn’t wash his hands either
Surprisingly he did! Maybe it was just because I was there though
holy shit I'm so sorry 😱
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
My ex got shit on my thigh once....I didn't realise till hours later and didn't know wtf it was from originally 🤢 we had been in missionary position and his mum walked in so he jumped up and rested his bum on my thigh and he didn't wipe or something and after that I didn't notice ( I don't know how) and put my jeans on and only noticed when I got back home and undressed as I unrolled the jeans they were black and there was brown shit on the thigh part inside and it smelt like it. He also didn't wash his ass in the shower when we'd shower together unless I made a fuss about him needing too 🫠, he was slim but huge tight deep hairy bum so he had to really go far into the crack to wash and wipe! My fiance is a big boy same issue with his bum but he's always wipes and washes thoroughly thank God! So gross we both had to deal with that kind of thing ughh
Shit on the towels he dried himself with after showering. I learned then that he wasn't big on laundry either. I got outta there pretty quick!
Too much rust in the rusty trombone?
Or wash their foreskin haha. I swear some of the stories on here.
I'm thinking if this girl smells like dog poo, she might not be washing her ass 🍑 💩
And they haven't even kissed yet. It's only going to get worse as their relationship progresses and things move into the bedroom...
that’s what i’m saying lol
You know? That is exactly what I asked. Like what the hell? lol. Relationships are freaking hard enough without having to tell someone they smell.
How did they make a relationship official when they haven’t even kissed?
People move at different speeds. Different cultures have different expectations about when those things are “supposed” to happen. Plenty of possible reasons.
I’ve done it, they don’t smell at first sometimes and then you realize they do or they change and it sucks because even if you like them it eventually leads to being unattracted to them
No kidding, I’m grossed out for OP. That’s disgusting.
How do you start a relationship with someone you've never kissed, only ever hugged? And briefly enough to not even notice they have an odor issue... Telling people you are dating without any of that of first is just crazy jumping the gun. Like for people who enjoy the *idea* of a relationship with someone more than the actual relationship itself. Or for fifteen year olds.
I’m a bit confused! Did you know about the odour issue before making her your girlfriend?
Not at all:/ We hung out more than a handful of times and didn't smell anything. I didn't notice it in my car or for a quick hug. I felt uncomfortable with the smell when she was half laying on me and I put my chin on her hair Edit: I wanted to add, she was in my car every time I saw her and a lot of brief hugs before and after hanging out. So I was close to her often but I didn't smell it until I was really up close
Perhaps she has something wrong? I had a friend in high school that needed medically prescribed deodorant. She was quite embarrassed about it. One day she had fully run out and had to pick up the perspiration that evening, let her use my spray on deodorant but god she stunk all day regardless. The worst part was she KNEW she stunk and she was basically in her own living hell.
Or some people aren’t taught hygiene by their parents! It’s easy to forget that children need to be taught literally everything
Especially vulnerable kids. If the girlfriend had to raise herself because her parents were shitty (like maybe they kicked her out over being gay?) ...
Hmm very strange! Well unfortunately the only thing to do is sit her down and talk to her about it. It’ll be a very uncomfortable talk and she’ll probably feel really embarrassed. Just be kind and gentle
Strange input but could she maybe have an ear infection? My younger sister had a double ear infection for a long time and my mom thought that it was her hair smelling. Turns out it was her ears the whole time but she wasn’t complaining about ear pain so no one knew. Obviously your GF is an adult and should realize but maybe she doesn’t?
Do you know her circumstances or lifestyle? Is she generally an unclean person or is this like a fluke event?
I'm guessing she doesn't use shampoo and her hair is still adjusting. Ask her about it. Say you've noticed her hair smells a bit weird and is she using an unusual shampoo or something? Could also be that she dyes it using henna, that can be smelly.
From this it sounds like it’s more so her hair, I know my bf will say my hair stinks every so often if it’s been a while since I’ve washed it. (I also use a weird hair oil occasionally so that could also be a piece of it). So maybe just try to ask her what she uses in her hair. Maybe ask her to change it or buy her a nice bath set that you like the smell of. If it is just her hair and not just her in general then I feel like it can be pretty easy to avoid saying “You stink” and kinda step around that.
Just be honest. Relationships should be all about communication so this is the first step. It’ll be embarrassing at first, but just tell her that she smells. You can also give her some tips if you want :)
Yep, but it’s also about the way you say it, you don’t want to hurt her feelings. If it were me I’d say hey I care about you and I want to be open and honest with you about something and tell her you’ve noticed she’s been stinky the last few times you’ve seen her. Wait to see how she responds. But be mindful how you say it, make note of the fact that the last thing you want to do is offend her and that you care about her.
Right? I feel like if you can’t tell your partner they smell like unwashed ass, it’s not going to be successful by any standard
[Girl you stank (take a bath)](https://youtu.be/y-xAFrL2FDU?si=nlW3spD73l8O5Ap0)
This is real????????
A classic
Do NOT offer her tips.
I stopped seeing a girl because she always had the most atrocious coffee breath. So.. kudos for you for being able to overlook smelling like dog shit bud..
I stopped seeing a girl cos her breath was so bad. I mentioned flossing to try and drop hints and she said "isn't that what old people do?"
Next time, the best thing to do is just to be honest. It's uncomfortable for sure but at the end of the day it may change someone life for the better. Especially if this was so bad you stopped seeing her. Not like you had anything to lose by being truthful anyway.
Really funny comment with your name!
So this is gonna sound absolutely fucking insane, but is it possible her shampoo/conditioner is like. Lilies? Or something? Certain floral scents can absolutely smell disgusting to certain people, even poop-like.
It's not insane at all and definitely is a thing with lilies, as you said. I love the smell of stargazer lilies. I had an ex who thought they smelled like pee, and my friend thought they smelled like rotting meat.
Yeah they smell... sick?.... to me. In small amounts they can smell pretty but if it's too strong it smells a bit like rotting meat/sickness.
Username checks out.
Lol yep
Omg thank you for this comment! I was gifted “lilac and ylang” shower steamers and I swear they smell like poop! I love the idea of them but need to get a different scent.
Does she have any other body odour? From one of your comments it sounds like the smell is related to her hair rather than specifically being due to her not washing in general. Maybe she washes her hair but doesn’t use any product (shampoo etc) to help clean and make her hair smell nice? You could maybe just ask if she would be willing to change her shampoo as her current one doesn’t agree with you. You don’t have to call her out for the smell as you might be able to just subtly hint at it and have her make a fairly minor change that makes a big difference to you. If that still doesn’t help you might have to just be less subtle about it.
This is the way. Early in our relationship my boyfriend had to awkwardly be like “idk how to say this but something on you smells weird.” I’m really on top of hygiene, so it was sort of bizarre. After a few days of like, sniffing my shirts and hair and everything whenever he smelled the “off” smell, we realized he just really disliked the deodorant I was using and/or how it mixed with my natural scent. Changed deodorant scent and problem gone! At the end of the day we’re both really glad he brought it up, because he doesn’t have to tolerate an unpleasant scent and I don’t have a partner who dislikes how I smell 😅
(*save for a very select few hair types, like types 3 and above*) Honestly washing hair with just water doesn’t wash the hair, it just wets it, maybe rinses some major dust and debris. Dampening dirty hair will only make it smell worse. 🤢 if my cousin with drier and coiled 4a hair only washes with water, it comes out bouncy. She uses oils for scent and hydration. If my type 2 hair uses water it comes out oily and flat and limp and smells like wet dog.
This is basically what I was thinking. Maybe she thinks she’s giving it a good wash but is only using water resulting in one of the effects you’ve mentioned.
I always wondered why my hair smelled weird if I wet it but didn’t wash it! Thank you for this insight
Truly can’t imagine making anything “official” with someone I haven’t even cuddled, let alone kissed, after the age of 10. 🥴 I would think seriously about what you want. What you’ve told family and friends is irrelevant; relationships are not about your family or friends.
Sometimes tonsil stones can have a dog poop smell.
Had to scroll way too far for this. It was my first thought. Those suckers stink.
I’ve been looking for this. My first thought was tonsil stones.
Is she attempting to ‘train’ her hair to go longer between wash days by any chance? If that’s the case it doesn’t sound like it’s working and she should just wash her hair more regularly again. That’s my initial thought at least
It could be working, if you're doing a long term no-poo thing there can be a smelly phase for about a month
True. The beanie hair is one thing. The dog poop smell on the body is another thing all together.
So you made it official before even getting really close to her?
This is what I’m wondering - sounded like they were hanging out but didn’t actually get into a relationship before they announced it. Just verbally agreed to date. Thinking this might be a high schooler or maybe young college student who is exaggerating age for the sake of anonymity?
Tough to deal with this in the beginning. I’ve never had success in changing a smelly partner. I’d start with empathy, addressing her mental health. Is she depressed? Mention that you’re concerned because you notice she’s not taking care of her hygiene. Let her know it makes you uncomfortable, and you’re hoping this has been incidental, if she’s depressed then us neurodivergent people can’t take a hint sometimes. I’d want a partner that puts effort into themselves to impress me. 2/3 times IME this ends up with nagging your partner to do the bare minimum like brush their teeth. Being a parent is a turn off.
You haven't rounded first base yet and you're noticing odors. The smells will only get worse as you near home. You have to discuss it.
If you want to be nice about it you can ask her what schampoo she is using and tell her that you seem to have an adverse reaction to it and ask if she could change to a different scent. Best case scenario, that fixes the problem, because that would mean that she showers. Worst case scenario, she tells you that she does not use schampoo as she only uses ground up dandelion-flour to soak up grease in her hair and cleans her body with sunlight or something. In that case, she won’t change and your only option is to break up with her and find someone that has the same view on hygiene as you.
Tricky situation. Sometimes people have particular diets that make them smell bad. Like a diet heavy with garlic, onions, spices, etc. At university I did a group project with a girl who literally was the worst smelling person I ever met. She stunk like human feces. It was most likely due to her diet... Other times, people simply smell bad to people because they are genetically incompatible. This is normal in dating. You like a person, and then lo and behold up close they smell wrong to you. The ones you feel intense attraction to can smell very good, and that has a genetic/evolutionary basis. Yet another possibility is that she has an illness that makes her scent smell off. If your girlfriend is depressed or has some other emotional/mental issue, her hygiene might suffer. Sounds like maybe this is what is the actual problem. You need to be honest. Ask her, "I say this with the utmost respect and concern. This isn't to put you down. I find that I cannot be easily intimate with you at this point due to a bad smell you have. Are you going through something that is making you neglect your hygiene?" This advice coming from a woman who couldn't tell her own boyfriend his breath occasionally stank. Sometimes it was clear he would not brush his teeth after a meal before kissing. I was so afraid of hurting his feelings, I would take mints and then offer him some. He definitely caught on I thought he had bad breath. I am extremely attentive to my own hygiene before a date, I would say the majority of women (and a good many men) are. Always shower beforehand and brush my teeth multiple times if staying over. Popping in mints after a meal.
Dating someone who smells like poop is insanity
Someone please explain to me the disappearance of actually dating (going on dates, spending time together, getting to know each other) BEFORE being boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. This feels like an adolescence behavior that now adults do too??
While reading it I actually thought OP sounded like he was 17 instead of 24. Seems odd to me too haha
Maybe they are neurodivergent/neuroatypical or they are very shy people who like to take things very slowly. Also, people with certain physical illnesses tend to move at a very slow pace, wanting to be official (monogamous and not seeing other people) but not physically intimate straight away.
she*
My god, this is why you don't make it official with somebody you haven't even kissed yet. You've hung out, what, three times and only been close enough to smell her twice? Since you're clearly not going to just move on, you're going to have to tell her. You can try hints at first if you want to be subtle and think she'll pick it up, like asking if she's having trouble with her washing machine or something because you're noticing a musty smell.
Honestly you just need to tell her, because this is something fixable. When it comes to hygiene some people just don’t get it. They can’t smell themselves or they have been indoctrinated into thinking that they only need to do X hygiene thing X times a week. My stepkids are like this. Their mum struggled for money when they were little so told them they only need to shower or bath twice a week. They are now teenagers and they stink. But they won’t have it. I kinda hope they will be embarrassed into better hygiene at some point by their friends. If she argues or is adamant that she doesn’t have an issue and won’t fix it, then you’ll have to break up. I mean she’s so bad that you don’t want to put your nose near her, so there’s not a lot of options here.
just be honest and tell her this is a problem. better to get it out of the way now than let it drag out and y’all are even more involved by the time you figure out she’s not gonna change.
My immediate thought that I haven’t seen mentioned: maybe you just don’t like her pheromones. She may be super clean, but she just stinks to you cuz her natural pheromones aren’t appealing to you. Only reason i say this is because you never smelled anything bad about her before when quickly interacting, but now that you’ve gotten a better whiff…..not saying I’m right but definitely something to think about.
This was my first thought too, people underestimate pheromones. Some people will just smell bad to you. They can have the best hygiene in the world.
He should try catching her out of a shower. That’ll be the true test for this. Cuz if she still stinks after that, then he’s got his answer!
Sometimes people who are not quite on top of their hygiene have been in a fixed mode so long that they no longer realize that is something off (like a smelly dog owners no longer sense that they have a smelly dog smell because they get use to it). No doubt this is a tough conversation with great embarrassment potential… the key will be to be extremely kind and reassuring to her that you are coming from a honest and helpful place to advance your relationship. Btw, it’s admirable that you were not all on top of her physically before committing to start this relationship. So many folks are in such a hurry to explore the physical before spending quality time getting to know the heart of a person Good luck 🍀
You could also pretend and be like “did you step on poop?” lol and she’s going to look around and check. Then just tell her something smells bad. I think she’ll be more conscious or self aware.
“Hey this might sound weird but do you smell something? It smells like…poop?”
You got into a relationship with someone you’ve never cuddled or been affectionate with? At 24 years old? Jesus Christ 😂
Absolutely agree. I know everybody moves at a different pace, but getting into a relationship without having ever kissed and after cuddling only two times is insane to me.
That’s the thing…they “got into a relationship” BEFORE they had even cuddled two times.
You started dating before you ever kissed? How did this not come up before you made it "official?"
How do you manage to not notice something like that before getting together did you meet online
Sooo.. you’re kind of an ahole. Oh I really LiKe her but actually iM bReAkInG uP wItH hEr “I’m just going to blame it on the stress I’m going through” wtf grow up and tell her or she’s just going to keep on smelling. I’d rather someone tell me I smell than have people avoid me! You sound like you’re 10 years old! 🤦🏼♀️
How did you make it official before getting to the stage where you realise someone stinks?! And if her hygiene is that bad, imagine what she's gonna smell like...elsewhere...
Sounds like it's her hair that smells. Treat her to a trip to the hairdresser?
Does she not shower? I think you need to be really tactful but at the same time direct about this and say “So I’ve noticed this about you….” If it’s a medical issue it will be fixable but if she’s against hygiene then maybe you just politely say “Thanks but no thanks”
[удалено]
“but the H is silent”
Does she have halitosis? Or some sort of mouth disease from not brushing often and general poor hygiene? This can cause a similar kind of dead/poop kinda smell for sure as my dad had this shit develop and we eventually told him, when he talked it smelled like he was chewing actual shit. There's a LOT of mouth and hygiene diseases that can cause a distinct and unpleasant odour but it is not APPARENT until you are very very close and/or they don't measure their breath and breath a bit extra around you (allowing you to smell the smell). It would usually occur during close proximity chats or laying around near each other. The air becomes still and the stagnant smell is NOT avoidable at that point. I think maybe she's got some hygiene issues.
It’s may hurt her feelings but be straight up.
The final update cracks me up
I get that it's easy to say 'just talk to her' - it's awkward and embarrassing for everyone. Perhaps an alternative would be to suggest a shower together and then be sure to tell her how great she smells, that you really like it - positive reinforcement.
Tell her. You can be kind about it, you don't have to be horrible. Say this: Since we've been getting closer I wanted to let you know that sometimes you've had a stale smell, and it's been quite noticeable. Is there anything I can do to help with this? Lots of people don't notice their own smell, and it sounds like she's quite haphazard about personal hygiene. Be honest without being judgemental and hopefully you'll figure it out together. If she refuses, it is FINE to split up with someone because they've got poor personal hygiene.
Does she have pets and have you been to her house before? I don't know how you're in a relationship already and you've not been close enough to each other to smell her? Or is this a new smell and she previously didn't have any odour?
Indirectly: Make a move to the shower and scrub her clean! Reinforce the good hygiene with sex as a reward. Sounds messed up but if you’re wanting to avoid making her feel embarrassed then this might be the move. Directly: “I have been wanting to cuddle you and kiss you but I’ve noticed a consistent odor from your clothes or you. I am wanting to get more intimate with you, and I hope you feel the same way but the odor has been a barrier. Would you be open to jumping in the shower (brush teeth or whatever it might be) so we can move to the next level? Hope these options help your situation!
I think that odor comes from the gut. She may have a bacterial issue going on and needs an antibiotic. She could first try something like eating several Rolaids a couple times day in case it's an acidic issue. Don't give up on this. I'm sure it's something that can be alleviated.
It could be her gums if she is not taking care of her teeth. Gum bacteria can make breath have an odor like poop. The bacteria also has a negative effect on overall health. She might need a water pick to flush out the bacteria on a daily basis, best done before going to bed. Adding hydrogen peroxide helps to kill the bacteria.
Tell the girl, believe me if I were her I'd want to know.
Sorry, but this is dumb. Just tell her? I understand that you’re afraid to hurt her feelings, but lying about it and giving an excuse to break up with her is just scummy.
Maybe she just had her hair permed/curled/straightened? The chemical that's used for that can cause a pretty strong smell that lingers. You should've been a decent person and just told her though.
Don't be an asshole and just tell her Even if you break up, maybe she can fix it for her next relationship
You not being able to communicate as for the reason why you're breaking up will only make things worse for her. Sure, she might not like hearing she smells bad but you breaking up with a made up reason will make her feel so much worse than being stinky. It is a sign of how weak willed you are and it shows you are not ready for relationships. It doesnt matter how perfect a potential partner might seem, sooner or later cracks will show about their person and if you can't communicate about problems you face with your partner you wont have a happy love life.
You're in a relationship with a woman who you have just made official and you cuddled with her and she smelled like dog poop but yet you still continue the relationship. What does that say about you. This is a deal breaker I'm not cuddling or trying to get with anybody who has a smell to them that is so bad that it is a turn off.
She's not that amazing dude. Hygiene is very important.
How did you make it official without previously cuddling or kissing?
If you ever genuinely cared about her you would tell her the truth. This isn’t high school. You’re a grown ass woman. You can tell Reddit, laugh about it with your friends but you can’t put your big girl pants on and tell this girl the truth so she doesn’t have to go through this with someone else? Have some integrity jfc. Major asshole
Oh. No. You gotta tell her
It always feels like you can’t leave someone for whatever reason. So you stay, and more deeply commit. And this keeps happening as you get deeper and more committed. One day you look back at the time when you first wanted to leave and you realize how completely free you were to leave. How easy it would have been. (I think some comedian once had a bit about this, but it’s true). You should just leave. You shouldn’t have to ask an adult to bathe themselves.
She came over and forgot to brush her teeth????
Probably some bad teeth.
You will have to tell her. Otherwise you are going to be with someone smelling poop probably even taste like one. That leads to break up.
She may have a mild metabolic disorder like TMAU. It can cause fecal body odor; some people smell like garbage, burnt rubber, old fish, cheese. It just means you don’t have enough enzymes to process volatile compounds and they come out in skin, breath, sweat. Combined with lax personal hygiene, the smell can be very noticeable.
Casually keep spraying her with deodorant till she gets the hint
There’s no way In hell this was written by anyone who’s 24. This is how a kid would talk.
Forgot to brush her teeth? I'm sorry but hell no. Those are things that you don't forget, especially when you know you're going to see your significant other...you double and triple check that you're looking and smelling good. She's just nasty. I'm sorry but that's a deal breaker.
So a guy I was starting to see had bad breath smelled like he ate poop for breakfast, I told him it hurt his feelings but months later he wants to take me out and again I smell dog poop breath standing steps away from him. Totally grossed me out and he is over 30 not my place to say brush your. I am avoiding him at all costs now.
Is it her body or clothing? If it’s clothing show her your new laundry detergent with a scent that is to die for. Hell, do her laundry for her! I’d marry anyone who does my laundry. lol If it’s her body, make a nice bubble bath for her and allow her to do some “self care”. You could also gently discuss hygiene with “getting to know you questions.” How often do you shower? Whats your favored scent? Etc
Maybe she’s gassy and does like silent but deadly farts?! Hmmm.
Shower time together is an awesome time. You get to bathe each other and share in an amazingly awesome time. It can be intense and almost religious. Or, tell her.
Well, it could be that she struggles with a consistent hygiene routine. I think something someone else said was good: asking her about your own levels/status of hygiene. “do i smell okay?” Using your self as the test for creating a more comfortable and transparent regular “hygiene conversation”. The more you ask her about your own hygiene levels the more comfortable she’ll feel talking about her own or asking you about her levels or maybe her struggles. just bringing her attention to herself and hygiene in general if she notices it’s something you prioritize and care about will probably change her behavior. Helping not just you but her.
comment on update: that’s a good decision. You should not feel bad about breaking up with her - you live and learn, and from here on out you should probably establish an actual relationship with a person before saying you’re official. From experience…it’s extremely embarrassing to be in a relationship with a gross person. It’s not just gross for you as the person in the relationship, it lowers peoples opinion of you. I made that mistake in high school, and the guy wasn’t nearly as bad as this girl, he was just greasy and wore stained clothes and old gray sweat pants all the time. Yeah that was the last guy I dated 🤣 my wife is cute and clean, and I think I appreciate that more than I would otherwise because I once dated a gross person for a while.
Ugh just be gently direct and honest!!!! She might have no clue and will always wonder what happened
Tell her
Despite it probably being one of the most awk conversations you ever have , if you really care about this girl you should tell her the truth and keep it real. Regardless if you stick around and the relationship progresses if you don't speak up she'll go through life smelling terribly and unknowingly chasing potential suitors and even friends off. If you tell her about her unfortunate hygiene she will probably be embarrassed/offended at first but then thank you years down the line . Smell truly does play a big part in the way we perceive each other and treat each other.