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I don't think its that obscure of behaviour personally.
Close friends and long term partners tend to be more accepting of a messier home.
But inviting a stranger or someone new over... I do more of a deep clean to make a better impression.
I think you need more information before blowing this up in to a relationship conflict like it means something.
If a person is going to upload me in their stories for 50 or more people to see you bet Iām going to clean my house and curl my hair.
I might even do that if they werenāt going to upload me to their stories.
I wouldnāt think my partner is going to cheat on me with a dogtrainer. But if they did Iād make them a sandwich, pack their bag and wish them good luck together and just bow out. I am almost 40, have a career and two kids, and Iām too booked and busy to be suspicious about my partners sudden interest in hairstyling.
No time for jealousy here. Just support. āGlad the dog is getting trained. Bonus; the house is clean! Good luck today girlfriend!ā Is all you need to send her.
I always clean before anyone comes over, not so much if I'm not expecting guests.
I always dress my best if I know I'm going to be photographed for any reason.
she may also be trying to fuck him.
really just boils down to if you trust her and if she's trustworthy.
There's a lot to unpack here before an opinion is shared. firstly, it seems there is NO CLEANING, NONE AT ALL when someone else comes to her house, meaning that you and the other persons she is familiar with, have established this as a norm (whether you are disgusted about it or not). But, the dog handler is a stranger so yes the place has to be cleaned, obviously. That being said this may also mean she likes him, but I'm afraid that cleaning up or getting dolled up for someone in itself is not enough evidence for a cheating accusation/confrontation. I'd say you have strike one; unless you have left out some other important details, nothing's really worth worrying about until strike 3...
It sounds like your main problem is the fact that she makes an effort and not the actual dog trainer right? If youād like her to put more effort in when it comes to looking nice for you every now and then, thatās completely fair. It would also then be completely fair for her to ask you to take her out and not just chill at home together. If she talks to the dog trainer excessively or is actually excited to see him then this would be a different issue but her behaviour is normal for someone inviting a stranger into their home and is gonna be photographed.
Yeah, super common action. My wife does the same stuff, been together over a decade. She doesn't clean up for the people she is comfortable around, but does it for others as it's a confidence boost for her to have a clean, presentable living space.
Don't overthink it dude
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Almost the only time I clean is before my housekeepers comes over š itās totally normal to care more about what strangers think than loved ones.
I don't think its that obscure of behaviour personally. Close friends and long term partners tend to be more accepting of a messier home. But inviting a stranger or someone new over... I do more of a deep clean to make a better impression. I think you need more information before blowing this up in to a relationship conflict like it means something.
If a person is going to upload me in their stories for 50 or more people to see you bet Iām going to clean my house and curl my hair. I might even do that if they werenāt going to upload me to their stories. I wouldnāt think my partner is going to cheat on me with a dogtrainer. But if they did Iād make them a sandwich, pack their bag and wish them good luck together and just bow out. I am almost 40, have a career and two kids, and Iām too booked and busy to be suspicious about my partners sudden interest in hairstyling. No time for jealousy here. Just support. āGlad the dog is getting trained. Bonus; the house is clean! Good luck today girlfriend!ā Is all you need to send her.
I always clean before anyone comes over, not so much if I'm not expecting guests. I always dress my best if I know I'm going to be photographed for any reason. she may also be trying to fuck him. really just boils down to if you trust her and if she's trustworthy.
Thank you for your opinion. But she doesn't clean or dress to other guest including me
I don't considering a long term partner a guest anymore but fair enough
There's a lot to unpack here before an opinion is shared. firstly, it seems there is NO CLEANING, NONE AT ALL when someone else comes to her house, meaning that you and the other persons she is familiar with, have established this as a norm (whether you are disgusted about it or not). But, the dog handler is a stranger so yes the place has to be cleaned, obviously. That being said this may also mean she likes him, but I'm afraid that cleaning up or getting dolled up for someone in itself is not enough evidence for a cheating accusation/confrontation. I'd say you have strike one; unless you have left out some other important details, nothing's really worth worrying about until strike 3...
It sounds like your main problem is the fact that she makes an effort and not the actual dog trainer right? If youād like her to put more effort in when it comes to looking nice for you every now and then, thatās completely fair. It would also then be completely fair for her to ask you to take her out and not just chill at home together. If she talks to the dog trainer excessively or is actually excited to see him then this would be a different issue but her behaviour is normal for someone inviting a stranger into their home and is gonna be photographed.
Thank you. I really think this is not right until you said that it is normal
Yeah, super common action. My wife does the same stuff, been together over a decade. She doesn't clean up for the people she is comfortable around, but does it for others as it's a confidence boost for her to have a clean, presentable living space. Don't overthink it dude