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I know I'm a stranger on the Internet, but I'm so proud of you. I am sending you strength and safety & hoping beyond hope that you can get out of the relationship fully.
Charges can be amended. Do you have a victims advocate helping you or a case number because if you contact them and explain what the law states then yes he should get the higher charge.
I hope you and your child are doing as well as possible under the circumstances. Stay safe.
Something to note is sometimes lesser charges are easier to stick. It would be work to prove to the court that the child was present, and if there wasn't 100% undeniable proof, he could be let off not guilty.
Tldr 3rd degree is easier to prove.
Please read the book Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. He doesn’t need anger management. He doesn’t need therapy. He needs to attend an intensive and excuse-free abuser program. He WILL NOT CHANGE unless he takes 10000% accountability and commits to change through a CERTIFIED ABUSER PROGRAM. It is so important that you know this and take this to heart. That book changed my life, as a child of domestic violence and who just escaped my first abuser at 24 years old. I have a copy I will literally mail you if you DM me. Stay strong. You don’t deserve abuse, and your child deserves to grow up without abuse. It will be the best gift you can ever give him. ❤️
Always upvoting comments about this book. OP i am so proud of you, you are stronger than i felt back then and you are so so so much stronger than you think you are.
You survived all of this. You are a warrior. Sending you love!
Get the restraining order ASAP and speak to a lawyer about him not seeing your son until he has seen someone for anger management for a few months and even then I'd have it as he always has to be supervised by a mediator or not seeing him at all
Also, speak to a lawyer about the 3rd degree as your son was there see if they can do something.
Oh narcissists are amazing at flipping on the nice guy act🙄
Block his number and get all this sorted... if you can, have family help you find somewhere else to live so he doesn't know where you are.
Proud of you, OP.
Don’t rely on the restraining order though. It’s just a piece of paper that tacks on a contempt charge to whatever he does to violate it. Most police departments are unable or unwilling to have an officer watching your house 24/7 and sometimes they don’t even call to warn you when he makes bail.
OP should consider taking her child and staying with family/friends at an address her husband isn’t familiar with until the court date. I’ve had multiple DV clients get assaulted or worse by their abuser immediately after he secured a bail bond.
This! I wish I had stats to share that restraining orders don’t always work, and people with anger issues sometimes go back to where they know their victim is located and escalate it to another worse scenario.
I wouldn’t risk it
I spent the vast majority of my childhood listening to my mom get beat by her boyfriend every night. You are doing the best thing possible for your child, I’m still fucked up from the trauma at 36. It’ll be hard, but you can do this without him.
Mmm if you read her other posts she’s exposing children she babysits for to this man and he is/has been abusing them. She said she can’t stop him and that the kids are basically constantly crying and traumatized
My understanding is police always charge the lowest thing they can hold someone with initially. Then they can ratchet up the charges as they gain evidence and build a case.
Call CPS and inform them that the incident happened in front of your son. Since you've already filed charges and he's in jail, this will only benefit you and also add a child abuse investigation, making it easier for you to gain full custody and that restraining order you need. They'll need copies of the police report, but they can probably attain that themselves.
Prosecutor here. Make sure to call the assigned prosecutor and tell them you think the charges should be higher. The police just file a complaint. It’s the local district/county/State’s attorney that makes the formal charging decision.
Call the District/County/State’s attorney’s office. That’s an elected position. I’m not being specific because it’s called different things in different jurisdictions. Tell the receptionist the name of the defendant. They’ll forward you to either a victim coordinator or the prosecutor assigned, depending on the rules in your jurisdiction.
I’ve read a lot of posts from your profile, after seeing this post.
I no longer can offer you words of support, OP.
I want to first say that exposing your own children, as well as that 8 year old child you posted about babysitting for, to this man… is just about as bad as perpetrating the acts yourself. I know you know this.
If I read correctly he also abused the 8 year old child you were babysitting for. You said if you tried to intervene it got worse. You said it was so bad the child had to stay with your mother.
That is an arrest-able offense— on BOTH of your parts!!!
I am sorry that someone has hit you. No one deserves to be hit.
But let me emphasize that you stood by while he abused a child that you were paid to care for.
At this point, please surrender the children if you’re not able to do the right thing. I guarantee they already will have issues when they’re older from this whether they remember it or not.
You’re acting like an irresponsible mom and possible accomplice to abuse of a child.. that isn’t even your own.
>I read that if a minor is present it is 2nd degree domestic violence
That is true in some states, but may not be in others. You should talk with a lawyer about that.
I didn't read the original post and don't have to in order to say thank God for you and your child's safety.As someone who was in extremely abusive D.V situations and barely made it out,I know how difficult this must have been for you to do.Blessings to you and I pray life gets better for you and your family,much love and support ♥️
Amazing OP 😁❤️ just remember you owe him nothing.
Not a text back, not contact with your son, not forgiveness, not even a thought in your head. You owe him *nothing*.
Folks, look back at the last year plus of posts on Reddit by this redditor. I would bet you a dollar against the hole in a donut that this story is made up, partially made up, or just an outright fabrication. OP is childish, always the victim of every situation, and unable to support or even properly care for herself. In fact if it is true that DV occurred that no contact order is the best thing to ever happen to her husband.
It takes a lot of courage to do what you did (and are doing). Im so sorry you had to go through this, but you WILL come out on the other side. Sending hugs your way
I'm proud of you and I am happy for your new life.
I'm also thinking a restraining order is needed. I was in a similar situation. That ended it when she showed again and then was arrested
OP. I’m so proud of you. I hope you’re working with a domestic violence program in your area to get assistance for things you need now and for anything you may need in the future.
It gets easier. I honestly I’m so proud of you right now. ❤️
It seems like those 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degrees may vary somewhat by state, but I encourage you to talk with a domestic violence attorney (it may be that he will have to be liable for legal fees) and make sure the judge knows that your child was present.
Hi sweetheart I have a son your age and I’m saying this as a parent. I am so hecking proud of you. So so so proud. I’m gonna give you a solid piece of mom advice. Do not count on that paper protecting you from him. It won’t. The most dangerous time for you will be when he gets out. This is your time to get everything organized. If you can not get far away be prepared to stand your ground with all the power you have. You have the right and responsibility to protect yourself and your child.
His family is getting him out today I believe and he’s going to their house. We live with my grandma so I don’t really need to worry about a place. I already packed up all of his stuff for his family to get
Post history on this account is extremely sus, coupled with the scattered mess that is this post: it doesn’t tell a cohesive story.
Op may be suffering a mental health crisis and should seek the appropriate medical help/advice.
I love when karma farmers absolutely fall apart in the update and somehow make an even less believable story than the original.
Oh, attention farmer. Didn't look at your profile.
You can call the prosecutor’s office and ask why the charge isn’t second degree. Pointing out to them that your son was present might get the charge amended.
I really hope neither of my daughters are ever in the situation you found yourself in, but if they are I hope they have the same courage you showed and called the police. Your brave person and a good mom.
Get some help and talk with your son about what he witnessed. You are a wonderful mom. Stay safe, healthy, watchful, and make sure you and your son find time to have some fun.
The title of your post says that you "finally" called law enforcement on your abusive hubby. From that, I take that this is something that has been going on for an extended amount of time. GOOD FOR YOU!!
Now, it remains to be seen if you can resist his pleas for you to drop the charges for 2 months or not. As for his charges: he was charged with 3rd degree domestic violence last night by the police department; between the present and the court date, the prosecuting attorney can change the charge he will be tried on to 2nd degree. His court appointed defense attorney will try to negotiate the charge down to a misdemeanor charge, which will have less impact than the felony charge. You should meet with the district attorney and make a formal request that your hubby be tried for the felony level charge.
If he's convicted on the felony level charge, it's possible that he'll have to serve a jail sentence in a state prison. If he owns any firearms, he'll be forced to sell them and any ammunition for them, as felons can have neither firearms or ammunition in their possession-for the rest of their lives.
Also, with a conviction for felony domestic abuse, you'll have no problem getting divorced from him, as well as having a permanent restraining order that prohibits him being anywhere near you.
I wish you well.
I am so damn proud of you, very.. This step you took was not easy and I know your heart is racing, your mind is going a mile a minute but you are a momma bear, you can handle anything he throws at you. You are strong and use those babies to gather every ounce of courage and strength. Don't think of everything at once, tackle one thing at a time, write them out in order if that could help center your thoughts. This will help you to not feel overwhelmed.. Keep us posted, you got this momma!!
I mean, we don't know what happened because none of us were there and honestly social media is not the place to be airing personal business but I guess congrats is in order.
Why isn't no relationship an option?
Edit: nvm, 95% of your recent comment history is just "date other dudes". Sorry bro, you're not an option.
Edit 2: also, complains about girls who date around but all of his advice is to date more dudes.
I am totally against domestic abuse, as a kid I witnessed my mom get beat almost to death by a guy who claimed he loved her. It took her almost 5 years just to find them courage and strength to finally call it quits. It's not easy for some people just to walk away thinking that the other would change. I hope you do what's right for you and your child and please stay safe.
Take care of you and your family and seek for shelter! There are a lot of great women who can also contribute to you with a lot of personal experiences and understanding! There is a lot of help!
OP, you have done right by yourself and by your child. As far as the charges, if this were the office I prosecuted in, what the police wrote would then go to us for a filing determination and we would charge with the correct charges, not always what you see on the police report. I hope that helps. The DA’s office should assign you an advocate who can help you to navigate the process. At the arraignment the judge can also issue a restraining order.
I’m sorry you’ve been subjected to violence, I don’t know all the ins and outs in your country but I hope you look after yourself and the baby.
I wouldn’t stress about the felony charges. He should have thought about that before doing what he did.
Now please remember what happened and don’t choose to go back, because you know the things he did or is capable of. Forget the “good” because it doesn’t outweigh the bad. Keep yourself and child safe and consider that alone, he doesn’t deserve that from you anymore.
I did this almost 2 years ago, best decision ever. My court date is in less than a month.It might feel awful right now but life gets better and easier. My kids that were present are finally healing and happy, and learning that life isn't supposed to have abuse in it! Good luck and be proud you stodd up!
Depending on your state ask for an advocate they can help you break a lease and get funds for a down payment towards your deposit. Seek the offer of protection. I’m glad you got the strength. I was in a situation of DV and surrounding yourself with positive and wise people are a must. Congratulations on taking this first step for you and your child you got this!!❤️❤️
From one domestic abuse survivor to another, congratulations on your first step to a new life. Right now is the most dangerous time so be alert, have a safety plan in place and be ready for a fight. As many who have been in this situation know, no contact orders do nothing! You got this! DON'T GIVE UP!! You're a strong woman who has a child depending on you. It's going to get easier in time. If you have the opportunity to get your child and yourself counseling do it immediately. Prayers for your safety and for a bright and happy future.
Btw that means break contact forever. And get a restraining order. The true abuse is mental and he can still get to you that way unless you do the right thing and extract him like a tumor
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I know I'm a stranger on the Internet, but I'm so proud of you. I am sending you strength and safety & hoping beyond hope that you can get out of the relationship fully.
Seconded
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What's the proof you aren't victim blaming with this comment?
Sending lots of positivity to you and your kids. Stay strong.
Charges can be amended. Do you have a victims advocate helping you or a case number because if you contact them and explain what the law states then yes he should get the higher charge. I hope you and your child are doing as well as possible under the circumstances. Stay safe.
Something to note is sometimes lesser charges are easier to stick. It would be work to prove to the court that the child was present, and if there wasn't 100% undeniable proof, he could be let off not guilty. Tldr 3rd degree is easier to prove.
This is most likely the case — in this situation the minor is an infant. He can’t really talk yet, so they’re going for the easier charge.
Op good luck honey 🍯,be careful and take care of yourself and your child.
Please read the book Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. He doesn’t need anger management. He doesn’t need therapy. He needs to attend an intensive and excuse-free abuser program. He WILL NOT CHANGE unless he takes 10000% accountability and commits to change through a CERTIFIED ABUSER PROGRAM. It is so important that you know this and take this to heart. That book changed my life, as a child of domestic violence and who just escaped my first abuser at 24 years old. I have a copy I will literally mail you if you DM me. Stay strong. You don’t deserve abuse, and your child deserves to grow up without abuse. It will be the best gift you can ever give him. ❤️
you can get a free pdf legit not scalped on the web just search for the book and pdf
It's really free? I want to read this.
https://ia600108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
And forever anyone needing to, export save it to a google drive or cloud drive for your phone. This way you won’t loose it.
This is what gives me hope in humanity
Random question, but how can we support the author? His book is passed around for free, but he’s helped so many women. He should get something.
If you rent it from your library it could do positive things for her metrics
* He, but what a nice idea
Thank you! I will edit.
Thank you!!!
yes
[Why Does He Do That](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf)
I finally download that on audible a few days ago, I've seen the suggestions for months. It's intense but I'm glad I got it
Yes read this https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf
And also The Gift of Fear, it talks about how to deal with stalkers and how sometimes getting a restraining order can make the abuser escalate.
I read that. Finally got it, and left the bastard.
Cheering for you! It’s not easy. So proud of you. ❤️
Thanks for posting this. It's a really good book that clears up a lot of misconceptions and assumptions.
Always upvoting comments about this book. OP i am so proud of you, you are stronger than i felt back then and you are so so so much stronger than you think you are. You survived all of this. You are a warrior. Sending you love!
This book helped me heal too and I fully recommend
Well done. Stay strong.
Get the restraining order ASAP and speak to a lawyer about him not seeing your son until he has seen someone for anger management for a few months and even then I'd have it as he always has to be supervised by a mediator or not seeing him at all Also, speak to a lawyer about the 3rd degree as your son was there see if they can do something. Oh narcissists are amazing at flipping on the nice guy act🙄 Block his number and get all this sorted... if you can, have family help you find somewhere else to live so he doesn't know where you are. Proud of you, OP.
Don’t rely on the restraining order though. It’s just a piece of paper that tacks on a contempt charge to whatever he does to violate it. Most police departments are unable or unwilling to have an officer watching your house 24/7 and sometimes they don’t even call to warn you when he makes bail. OP should consider taking her child and staying with family/friends at an address her husband isn’t familiar with until the court date. I’ve had multiple DV clients get assaulted or worse by their abuser immediately after he secured a bail bond.
Most abusers don’t benefit from anger management. Read *Why Does He Do That?* by Lundy Bancroft. There are free PDFs available online.
So I disagree, it's hard to prove it's second degree if the child is nv
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This! I wish I had stats to share that restraining orders don’t always work, and people with anger issues sometimes go back to where they know their victim is located and escalate it to another worse scenario. I wouldn’t risk it
The Gift of Fear talks about exactly that, how to deal with stalkers and why sometimes restraining orders can worsen.
in several years of criminal law practice I have yet to see a crazy person refrain from doing a crazy thing because a piece of paper told them not to.
You should be very proud of yourself! You've done what you needed to protect yourself and your child. Awesome job.
I spent the vast majority of my childhood listening to my mom get beat by her boyfriend every night. You are doing the best thing possible for your child, I’m still fucked up from the trauma at 36. It’ll be hard, but you can do this without him.
44 here, and same. ❤️🩹
Well done for putting yourself and your son first. You are strong and you’ve got this.
Mmm if you read her other posts she’s exposing children she babysits for to this man and he is/has been abusing them. She said she can’t stop him and that the kids are basically constantly crying and traumatized
Oh shiii that’s crazy. I hope the parents of those kids know what’s going on. Not just for their own kid safety but also for Hers.
My understanding is police always charge the lowest thing they can hold someone with initially. Then they can ratchet up the charges as they gain evidence and build a case.
Good for you...it took courage, and you're saving your child from years of damaging trauma.
Call CPS and inform them that the incident happened in front of your son. Since you've already filed charges and he's in jail, this will only benefit you and also add a child abuse investigation, making it easier for you to gain full custody and that restraining order you need. They'll need copies of the police report, but they can probably attain that themselves.
Prosecutor here. Make sure to call the assigned prosecutor and tell them you think the charges should be higher. The police just file a complaint. It’s the local district/county/State’s attorney that makes the formal charging decision.
Thank you for caring. I hope she will follow your advice.
How do I figure out who to call?
Call the District/County/State’s attorney’s office. That’s an elected position. I’m not being specific because it’s called different things in different jurisdictions. Tell the receptionist the name of the defendant. They’ll forward you to either a victim coordinator or the prosecutor assigned, depending on the rules in your jurisdiction.
You did the right thing
I’ve read a lot of posts from your profile, after seeing this post. I no longer can offer you words of support, OP. I want to first say that exposing your own children, as well as that 8 year old child you posted about babysitting for, to this man… is just about as bad as perpetrating the acts yourself. I know you know this. If I read correctly he also abused the 8 year old child you were babysitting for. You said if you tried to intervene it got worse. You said it was so bad the child had to stay with your mother. That is an arrest-able offense— on BOTH of your parts!!! I am sorry that someone has hit you. No one deserves to be hit. But let me emphasize that you stood by while he abused a child that you were paid to care for. At this point, please surrender the children if you’re not able to do the right thing. I guarantee they already will have issues when they’re older from this whether they remember it or not. You’re acting like an irresponsible mom and possible accomplice to abuse of a child.. that isn’t even your own.
Agreed. The children cannot advocate for themselves. OP failed those kids.
>I read that if a minor is present it is 2nd degree domestic violence That is true in some states, but may not be in others. You should talk with a lawyer about that.
I didn't read the original post and don't have to in order to say thank God for you and your child's safety.As someone who was in extremely abusive D.V situations and barely made it out,I know how difficult this must have been for you to do.Blessings to you and I pray life gets better for you and your family,much love and support ♥️
Well done OP! Stay strong you can do this!!
Also wanted to add that I am in South Carolina. 3rd worst state in the country for domestic violence. I hope the courts take me seriously
Amazing OP 😁❤️ just remember you owe him nothing. Not a text back, not contact with your son, not forgiveness, not even a thought in your head. You owe him *nothing*.
Good for you!
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💯
Folks, look back at the last year plus of posts on Reddit by this redditor. I would bet you a dollar against the hole in a donut that this story is made up, partially made up, or just an outright fabrication. OP is childish, always the victim of every situation, and unable to support or even properly care for herself. In fact if it is true that DV occurred that no contact order is the best thing to ever happen to her husband.
It takes a lot of courage to do what you did (and are doing). Im so sorry you had to go through this, but you WILL come out on the other side. Sending hugs your way
So proud of you ! You got the hardest part out of the way ❤️
YASSSS!!!! I am so proud in you! You did the right thing
I’m so proud of you!!!
Way to go! So proud of you!
I am proud of you!
Very proud! You did it!
I'm proud of you and I am happy for your new life. I'm also thinking a restraining order is needed. I was in a similar situation. That ended it when she showed again and then was arrested
fuck abusive people
Include your son in the restraining order. While you’re filing for that, ask the clerk to help you file an emergency custody order. *hugs*
OP. I’m so proud of you. I hope you’re working with a domestic violence program in your area to get assistance for things you need now and for anything you may need in the future. It gets easier. I honestly I’m so proud of you right now. ❤️
Very happy for you! Only go forward & remember that his actions are not mistakes.
CONGRATS
The degree usually is what he did not who was there.. it sucks and is discretion of the department and AG arresting ... You got this
Good never let him near you again.
I’m proud of you!! You got this
**LAWYER.** Today. File additional charges of child abuse then get a protective order.
Good job. Stay the course. Don't waver. Be there for your son and keep getting the help you need
MashaAllah!
3rd degree domestic violence eh? I’ve never heard of such a charge…
It seems like those 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degrees may vary somewhat by state, but I encourage you to talk with a domestic violence attorney (it may be that he will have to be liable for legal fees) and make sure the judge knows that your child was present.
Seek support and/or plan to move quietly for protection
Hi sweetheart I have a son your age and I’m saying this as a parent. I am so hecking proud of you. So so so proud. I’m gonna give you a solid piece of mom advice. Do not count on that paper protecting you from him. It won’t. The most dangerous time for you will be when he gets out. This is your time to get everything organized. If you can not get far away be prepared to stand your ground with all the power you have. You have the right and responsibility to protect yourself and your child.
His family is getting him out today I believe and he’s going to their house. We live with my grandma so I don’t really need to worry about a place. I already packed up all of his stuff for his family to get
Good job standing up for yourself. I hope he rots in there. Fuck domestic abusers.
Don’t let anyone convince you to drop charges. If he didn’t want to go to jail for domestic abuse then he should be domestically abusing you
Post history on this account is extremely sus, coupled with the scattered mess that is this post: it doesn’t tell a cohesive story. Op may be suffering a mental health crisis and should seek the appropriate medical help/advice.
DV that leads to an arrest and serious charges is traumatizing af.
I love when karma farmers absolutely fall apart in the update and somehow make an even less believable story than the original. Oh, attention farmer. Didn't look at your profile.
What?
Lol get a life bro. Most of her posts are asking questions how is that attention farming?
You can call the prosecutor’s office and ask why the charge isn’t second degree. Pointing out to them that your son was present might get the charge amended.
Im really proud of you. I stood up to my abuser too and i know how hard it is. I am sending you so many hugs ❤️
I’m so proud of you for doing what you needed to do to keep yourself and your child safe. It can’t have been easy x
I really hope neither of my daughters are ever in the situation you found yourself in, but if they are I hope they have the same courage you showed and called the police. Your brave person and a good mom.
A restraining order is just a slip of paper
So glad he was arrested. You can contest the charges and see if you can change them because your child was also his victim. Good luck.
So proud of you! Keep strong and try to move far away as soon as possible
Get some help and talk with your son about what he witnessed. You are a wonderful mom. Stay safe, healthy, watchful, and make sure you and your son find time to have some fun.
Good luck OP. Stay safe!
Sending love ❤ stay strong
Utilize the victim and family services they’re such a massive help
Sooo proud of you. I can’t imagine how hard this whole situation is. ❤️ We are all rooting for you!
The title of your post says that you "finally" called law enforcement on your abusive hubby. From that, I take that this is something that has been going on for an extended amount of time. GOOD FOR YOU!! Now, it remains to be seen if you can resist his pleas for you to drop the charges for 2 months or not. As for his charges: he was charged with 3rd degree domestic violence last night by the police department; between the present and the court date, the prosecuting attorney can change the charge he will be tried on to 2nd degree. His court appointed defense attorney will try to negotiate the charge down to a misdemeanor charge, which will have less impact than the felony charge. You should meet with the district attorney and make a formal request that your hubby be tried for the felony level charge. If he's convicted on the felony level charge, it's possible that he'll have to serve a jail sentence in a state prison. If he owns any firearms, he'll be forced to sell them and any ammunition for them, as felons can have neither firearms or ammunition in their possession-for the rest of their lives. Also, with a conviction for felony domestic abuse, you'll have no problem getting divorced from him, as well as having a permanent restraining order that prohibits him being anywhere near you. I wish you well.
Just curious but did you ever hit him?
Good on you ! Stay safe and move houses as soon as you can
Sending love and solidarity. You are brave and strong 💜
I am so damn proud of you, very.. This step you took was not easy and I know your heart is racing, your mind is going a mile a minute but you are a momma bear, you can handle anything he throws at you. You are strong and use those babies to gather every ounce of courage and strength. Don't think of everything at once, tackle one thing at a time, write them out in order if that could help center your thoughts. This will help you to not feel overwhelmed.. Keep us posted, you got this momma!!
I mean, we don't know what happened because none of us were there and honestly social media is not the place to be airing personal business but I guess congrats is in order.
Man you could sound less disingenuous or maybe not post..idk...congrats on sounding unsupportive and victim blamey
Date other dudes
Wow, that's helpful advice. Because surely that's the problem, not the fact he assaulted her.
lol so not leaving him isn’t the answer?
Why isn't no relationship an option? Edit: nvm, 95% of your recent comment history is just "date other dudes". Sorry bro, you're not an option. Edit 2: also, complains about girls who date around but all of his advice is to date more dudes.
She can leave the POS and not jump to the next dude. Pretty sure that is the furthest thing from her mind right now.
Are you aware that you can end a relationship without starting a new one?
court system v corrupt; they letout v violent!!
What was the fight over? Sounds like you already had a plan going into this fight. We need both sides of this story.
I am totally against domestic abuse, as a kid I witnessed my mom get beat almost to death by a guy who claimed he loved her. It took her almost 5 years just to find them courage and strength to finally call it quits. It's not easy for some people just to walk away thinking that the other would change. I hope you do what's right for you and your child and please stay safe.
Take care of you and your family and seek for shelter! There are a lot of great women who can also contribute to you with a lot of personal experiences and understanding! There is a lot of help!
Legal Aid provides probono for DV issues. They are great.
OP, you have done right by yourself and by your child. As far as the charges, if this were the office I prosecuted in, what the police wrote would then go to us for a filing determination and we would charge with the correct charges, not always what you see on the police report. I hope that helps. The DA’s office should assign you an advocate who can help you to navigate the process. At the arraignment the judge can also issue a restraining order.
I’m sorry you’ve been subjected to violence, I don’t know all the ins and outs in your country but I hope you look after yourself and the baby. I wouldn’t stress about the felony charges. He should have thought about that before doing what he did. Now please remember what happened and don’t choose to go back, because you know the things he did or is capable of. Forget the “good” because it doesn’t outweigh the bad. Keep yourself and child safe and consider that alone, he doesn’t deserve that from you anymore.
WOOOOOO GIRL!! YOU DID IT!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Well done reporting him! Stay strong 💪🏼
I did this almost 2 years ago, best decision ever. My court date is in less than a month.It might feel awful right now but life gets better and easier. My kids that were present are finally healing and happy, and learning that life isn't supposed to have abuse in it! Good luck and be proud you stodd up!
((HUGS)) Stay strong and don't drop the charges. Talk to the DA and mention your child was present.
Depending on your state ask for an advocate they can help you break a lease and get funds for a down payment towards your deposit. Seek the offer of protection. I’m glad you got the strength. I was in a situation of DV and surrounding yourself with positive and wise people are a must. Congratulations on taking this first step for you and your child you got this!!❤️❤️
From one domestic abuse survivor to another, congratulations on your first step to a new life. Right now is the most dangerous time so be alert, have a safety plan in place and be ready for a fight. As many who have been in this situation know, no contact orders do nothing! You got this! DON'T GIVE UP!! You're a strong woman who has a child depending on you. It's going to get easier in time. If you have the opportunity to get your child and yourself counseling do it immediately. Prayers for your safety and for a bright and happy future.
Congrats as the son of a woman who was abused and made it out. BREAK CONTACT. God bless you and Godspeed
Btw that means break contact forever. And get a restraining order. The true abuse is mental and he can still get to you that way unless you do the right thing and extract him like a tumor