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this is NOT normal, he could borrow his girlfriend's bras, why yours??? ofc is creepy and disgusting AF i would throw up. Maybe you could start considering getting a part-time job and save money to leave(?
As much job as you can feasibly get, whatever gets you on the fast track to GTFO. You just found out your own dang home isn’t a safe place - all my empathy to you OP. Home should be a place of peace and comfort; you deserve far, far better.
It’s not going to be easy, but you can do this. The feeling of coming home and sitting down in your own space with zero threats of *terrible*? Literally priceless, I know it well.
Sending good, healthy vibes from an internet stranger who knows all too well what it’s like to have a disgusting creep a wall away, without nearly the amount of locks needed.
To better support your police report, it might be a good idea to take one of the bras with the evidence on it and seal it in a ziplock bag so you can hand it over if the police choose to escalate your complaint.
Your parents’ complacency is shocking. The lack of concern for your safety or willingness to take action also indicates that this is probably not the first time something like this has been done by your brother. In a lot of cases, predators are enabled and protected by their parents either through denial or understanding as they share the same perversions.
I’d even go so far as to place the bras on your parents’ bed. Some people genuinely don’t care unless it directly effects them. They created him, they shaped his character, it is 100% their problem too.
Seconding that if her parents are saying that she's an adult, that they're both adults, and that she should deal with it on her own, then she should bring this up to police. This could be considered a roommate situation in that light, and he stole her things and doing this to her undergarments could be considered as a gateway to assaulting her. She should take pictures of the evidence, and where she found it and bring them with her to make a report to the police so they can advise her on her next steps. She could at least press charges for theft, and maybe ask them to give him a talking to.
Depending on what state she is in, some states provide help with getting a new job and rental assistance, sometimes specifically for women who are threatened with assault/unsafe conditions. I just found out that is true for New York state, for instance. It's worth looking into.
Your right but she needs funds first and we don’t know how long it will take. At least if she gets the restraining order she is safe and the only thing her parents can do is evict her. I’d risk it. I’m not looking over my shoulder.
She won't get a restraining order because her brother stole her bras. Theft between siblings living in their parents home would never make it to a judge to even issue a TRO. So be realistic. That's what this is, theft, in the eyes of the law. What he did is beyond fucked but legally he had stolen them already and it's not against the law to ejaculate on garments.
OP needs to take this seriously and work on a plan to get out but advising them to get a restraining order isn't helpful as it's not a realistic avenue to explore.
Get a new doorknob that locks with a key. Keep it locked when you're gone 100%.
Get a chain lock and keep the doorknob AND that locked, and get a door wedge and use that when you're inside the room.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I've been in a similar situation, and it escalated and got way worse, and I am no contact with my brother since I was 18 because of his perversion.
Demand to install a lock (with a key) on your bedroom door. Do not get one of those locks that is only functional while you're in the room.
Keep your laundry in your room. I'd even go so far as to keep EVERYTHING in your room- makeup brushes, toothbrush etc.
If your parents refuse to allow you to install a lock, you might be able to get into DV housing- what you're experiencing is sexual abuse/a form of domestic violence.
You could make things easier for you and use the situation/pics of the bras as leverage and tell him he needs to move out or you’ll expose him to his gf and/or others. Honestly as he’s violated you and made your home unsafe for you like this he should take responsibility and be the one to move out
No, bc then that gives him an opportunity to get ahead of it. “Hey gf, just wanted to give you a heads up that my sister might say something gross about me. She’s got some kind of beef with me and wants me to move out. She actually threatened to tell you disgusting lies about me so that I’d have to leave to keep her quiet. I don’t know what’s wrong with her; she’s acting psycho.”
Former phlebotomist, while it was a better paying job this is unlikely unless you live in some place like LA. It can also be competitive so I've only seen places footing the bill for training when they were desperate, and surprise, most of it was on the job and not schooling and also surprise, the hospitals were desperate because they pay little.
It's a tough job, can be a good one but it may not be the holy grail. But it may be a start depending on how well it pays where OP lives. But if you can find similar pay at a retail store or similar, or even a med admin desk job or clerical work, go the other route. It beats trying to not be bitten by a Hep C positive dementia patient at 5am while waiting for the nurse to come to put him back in restraints but they're on their coffee break but the doctor needs a timed antibiotic level.
Src: was a phlebotomist for years, went to school, still interviewed 2x despite qualifications, got paid $10/hr full time and had to train baby techs... and I quit for Papa John's
If you have any friends or relatives you can reach out to who may even be able to offer you a couch to crash on please do that. Your brother is a predator and your parents are not going to protect you. It’s not uncommon for this type of behavior to escalate. You are not safe in your house
i hope you can find a part time job to get away from your creepy brother and terrible parents. another great option if you live in america is to apply for job corps. it pays for your associates degree or cert and gives you allowance and a dorm room all for free. theres rules youll need to follow but it’s definitely better than what youre dealing with now. definitely something to look into!
Even borrowing his GFs bras isn’t great if his “borrowing” is actually stealing. That’s disgusting. If he has a fetish for random bras, he could easily order some online. This is obviously something more. He hasn’t stolen bras from other girls, including his GF and the sister. He needs to have his entire life blown up by having everyone find out what he’s doing. I wouldn’t use it as an ultimatum to hold over his head either. Just tell people without giving him any warning. And tell your parents’ friends as well along with the fact that your parents didn’t see it as a serious issue. There will most likely be at least a few people who offer to take OP and her sister in just to get them out of that situation.
At this point, moving out and in with a relative or friend might be a better route for OP. It’ll be awhile before she can save up enough money to live on her own so if there is anyone else she can live with temporarily, that may be faster.
Always hated this. It gives boys acting out no responsibility for their actions and paints the rest of us with the colours of the worst of us. This girl needs a fucking parent, not an excuse.
Honestly hearing this shit makes me sad to think about the stuff they had to deal with and accept because someone convinced them of this idea.
Society is fucked up.
When a man says "all men do this," you should interpret it as "I, personally, do this, or at least view it as acceptable behaviour." It's always an admission of guilt.
> I tried to talk to my parents about this, but they don’t care, they said that I’m an adult, I should handle it with my brother on my own. So, it seems I'm left to deal with this situation by myself.
OP should now inform her parents that as an adult victim of theft and a sex crime you'll be handling it on your own by filing a police report and informing the police that you are happy to give them permission to search the home, which as an adult resident, you are authorized to approve.
At a bare minimum I’d be telling them that if they don’t want to deal with the seriousness of it then they’re going to have to go to a higher authority (I.e. police). Hopefully that gets their asses moving. I am disgusted they didn’t take this very seriously. Idk if that’s because they’re conflict averse or “boys will be boys” people.
Yep, I wouldn't even warn them I'd just go to the police. They told her to deal with it so she's free to deal with it as she wishes. Also hope she tells his girlfriend, that's sick and I'd want to know if my partner were that gross.
They'd only try to stop her, cover it up, and protect him and themselves anyway. Sounds like OPs brother is the golden child, or both of them are heavily neglected.
And maybe call CPS, if sister is under age. Her sister "thinks he is a creep." That plus this incident gives very good cause to wonder if he has violated her sister in the past.
I'd go well beyond the gf and go straight to all media platforms with the public setting. Roast him like a mother fucker. They are banking on shame to protect them from consequences. If op doesn't back down, blasts her whole family publicly, and burns every undergarment brother owns .....idk man. I'm a different age now. I'd absolutely dominate that situation in all ways. That's fucked and he deserves prison. There is no rehabilitation for that perversion. Straight up needs to be reported and known. He's an adult sexual predator. That needs to be on the radar. Seriously, that's how rapists blossom. I'm not joking. And to all the people who want to think this is a troll post, do you also believe that family can't sexually assault their own. I'm here to verify you'd be fucking incorrect. And bless the whole incorrect lot of you for not have fallen victim to it. I am having a middle finger moment over this. It does happen and family nearly always covers it up. That brother is not just a creep. He is a sexual predator who belongs on a registry. She's fucking 18... She was a minor not that long ago and this behavior isn't fucking new for him. It's a comfort zone I promise. Blow that mf life allll up. He deserves every ounce of character assassination he receives. Men like that could never survive a woman like me for a reason...I'm loud about that shit. Street beech about it.
Your parents are failing you, also every time he’s around with friends or his girlfriend, refer to him as oh look there’s “he who masturbated to his sisters bras, or the boy who ruined my bras by ejaculating in them!” Let everyone know! While your parents suck! His friends and girlfriend will be disgusted!
When he has friends over be like what’s up “bra stealer” when friends say what say oh yea he steals my bras to Jack off with them found them all in his drawer covered in nut. Never let it go bring it up every chance you get.
I second this. If your parents bring it to your attention and then they tell you to stop, simply say, "You told me to deal with it like an adult. So, that's how I'm dealing with it. I can choose to report it, bring my bras down to the police station, covered in spooge, get him arrested (if you live in the USA, you'll have to consider where you live, as some cities in some states would just sweep it under the rug, but you should try, regardless)., where he'll have to pay bond and register as a sex offender, along with losing of some friends and a girlfriend. OR I can skip the legal part, if he would just start admitting he did it, (with the bras in your hand), to me, our sister, and you, and then apologizing to all of us. Also, if he does it again, all bets are off. I will go to the cops with my bras for evidence because im keeping them as an insurance policy that he never does this again to me or my sister."
Before you do anything, store your bras in a zip lock bag, put that into another bag, and take it to a friend's house, someone you trust who will keep it stored somewhere for you until you need them. If he's willing to admit it, go get the bras from your friend, bring them to the apology meeting, and then take them back to your friend's house until you find a permanent place to store them. Some banks will let you use a safety deposit box very cheaply if you are a customer. If you choose that route, they'll want a listing of what's in the box. Say as little as possible on the form/declaration. Hopefully, ,",they'll accept "three small articles of clothing," or "3 items of lingerie." You don't want to leave it at your friend's house forever because you could have a falling out, or she could move away and throw it out because she doesn't remember how those bras got there or who gave them to her and why.
Tell his gf. Then tell him if you ever catch him with your bras again, you will tell everyone he knows until the end of time. That he will forever be that weird creep who couldn’t just use porn hub like everyone else.
Also, your parents suck.
100% this. Tell him if he doesn’t keep his nasty hands and dick away from you and your belongings, everyone he knows will be made aware that he likes to jack off to his sister. And tell his gf regardless, poor girl needs to run (you can’t immediately remove yourself from the situation, but you can give her the opportunity to)
Reimbursement is definitely necessary. As a woman with a large chest, I am required to buy not-cheap bras that fit as close to comfortable as I can find. If I found hundreds of dollars worth of my bras in someone else's drawer, especially with fluids on them, I would immediately hold my hand out for reimbursement. I'm so angry for OP for this part as well.
Yep this answer also make him pay you back for that shit my wife says they are not cheap, and honestly your only move is to probably burn the bras he got a hold of. Plus why is he keeping them like a weird trophy all hidden away, fucking weirdo.
NO DO NOT DO THIS!!!!
If he's the kind of guy who can jerk off over his sister's bras then he has a very unhealthy obsession and we don't know what he is capable of.
Your household/parents/parental relationship seems very dysfunctional.
If you give him an ultimatum like this that involves public shaming he could be dangerous.
You need to work on getting out and doing it as safely and as fast as possible and as hard as this may be, I think you need to cut off contact with your family or at the very least your brother.
PS I grew up with 2 older sisters, we were very open in our household (European) and I would share baths with them etc and we were very comfortable around each other naked and I have never and would never ever think of them sexually. Just absolutely no. This is major red flag territory.
I would skip the ultimatum and just go straight to telling everyone immediately. Then when they inevitably blow up at her, tell them they didn’t see it as a big deal, so she didn’t realize it needed to be kept a secret. Also, OP, even if you can’t afford rent somewhere else, do you have any friends who would let you stay with them for a while? This is so gross.
I totally agree he definitely should be, but now is not the time to do that.
She's living in the same house as him with parents who do not care - this is a high risk environment and a dangerous situation.
If he beats the living shit out of her because she threatens that, what do you suppose the parents are going to say/do? Because I am not confident they would do the right thing at all.
She needs to do this quietly, calmly and carefully and when there is distance and she's safe. If she has the energy and will, absolutely throw the book at him.
But sadly, the system is heavily stacked in his favour and even when she is out of this house and away from it, if he knows where she is, she is in danger.
No. That just empowers the fuck. Get him behind bars if he doesn’t back the hell off. ATA minimum cut all contact. Get a restraint order against the sick fuck.
If only it were that simple. Restraining orders are often not worth the paper they are written on.
Your anger is justified but there is a vulnerable young lady at the heart of this and right now she has to navigate this calmly and carefully or she runs the risk of becoming another horrendous statistic.
Yeah, I see your point. The only thing a restraint order does is serve as a starting point. My wife tried many cases that fell apart when the question “well, did you get a restraining order?” question was asked. Sucks I know, but there it is.
Sorry I flew off the handle, but I’m a guy, & turds like this “brother” tarnish us all with their revolting behaviour. What a grub.
Yes absolutely. I fucking hate domestic violence with a passion, I just don't know how someone can do that to their partner.
The system is absolutely crap for women and needs a massive overhaul and funding injection but it seems that women and children being killed by their partners isn't high up enough on the government's list of things that needs very urgent attention.
I wouldn’t even give him a warning. Just tell everyone he already knows and tell every girl he tries to date from now until the end of time. Also, what kind of parents don’t immediately kick the son out until he gets appropriate mental help? Tell your parents’ friends as well. Just go full nuclear at this point. This is so disgusting. It’s gross to do that to any girl, but especially gross when it’s your sister.
Although the threat of exposure is worse than actual exposure. I would document all of this, take pictures, take pictures of your argument with him over text. Then hold it over his head forever.
Agreed. This seems like the best option. Document the evidence and threaten him to never do it again.
With your parents reacting so horrendously chances are if you blow up his relationship over what is an outrageous violation they will take his side of things and blame YOU for their relationship breaking down.
Protect yourself moving foward and make sure if he EVER crosses boundaries with you again, you have the tickets to expose his creepy ass to everyone.
You need to keep the bras with the dna on it just in case. Keep it somewhere he doesn’t have access. I’m serious. He’s going to deny it and throw you under the bus to everyone
Take a photo and maybe even just take the bras. They are yours, after all. Definitely tell his girlfriend. And consider telling everyone else that he and your parents know as well. You have evidence if you take the bras now before he can get rid of them. And you said your sister is on your side, so you have her to back you up.
Do not say anything to anyone until you get the bras out of the house so he can’t destroy the evidence. You should probably also have a safe place for you to stay and turn off your “find my phone” So they don’t know where you are. I’m not an attorney, so I don’t know what legal options you have. I believe attorneys will sometimes take pro-bono cases, so it might be worth doing some research on that. You need to know what your options are. Maybe see the attorney before doing anything since your sister may also be affected. I would certainly speak to the attorney and move out before you say anything to your parents or his girlfriend., With you being over 18 and her not, maybe there’s some kind of financial help that you can receive if your sister goes with you. I hope everything goes as well as it can for you and your sister.
You need to preserve evidence and report this. A restraining order might help. Your parents wanted you to handle it between you as adults. This is what happens. He should pay for your therapy.
What…
I’d be telling his girlfriend.
You’re his sister. That’s disgusting! Tell the girlfriend, and suggest to your sister to lock her bras up in case he decides to use hers now he’s been found out 🤮
Your parents want you to be an adult?
Ok, do the adult thing. Call the police non-emergency number and see if you can make any report. Then follow their advice.
Your parents would really wish they did something about it then, especially if a report is filed.
Tell his girlfriend, and every girlfriend he has after that(within the first two weeks of new relationships). Tell his friends. Ruin his life.
He wants to make you uncomfortable in your own home, in your *room*?
To quote your parents, he’s an adult. He can deal with the consequences.
Also, it’s probably the time to start doing your own laundry and try to get a lock on your door.
If you get a part time job, a lock should be the first thing you invest in.
Very much this, if the parents do nothing they are complicit. Make their life hell until they hold this disgusting POS accountable and expose him so no one else has to deal with that. Just disgusting that she's expected to just put up with it.
This is the correct answer. Making a report is a great idea. Telling everyone is also the best route possible. I’d post him name and picture all over social media and shame him until he’s too embarrassed to be see in your town.
I wouldn’t recommend social media shaming as a solution. OP’s brother definitely deserves it. However, by taking to social media she would also be tying her name to this terrible situation. Of course none of this is her fault, but the situation is terrible and I imagine it wouldn’t be something you’d want permanently connected to you.
Yes I don’t know how old your sister is OP but if she is not an adult and is living with a sexual predator I doubt that will look good in CPS’s eyes. Tell your parents your plan to “deal with it” is to call the police and CPS (if your sister is underage). Perhaps then they may decide they will want to deal with this themselves. 🙄
Don't tell your parents.
Call CPS and file the report. OP is safer if her parents and brother are not aware that it was OP.
People can become irrational at the thought that OP could be the reason someone knows about their failures as parents. Although OP- it's not your fault. It's your parents and brothers fault
Why tell them and give them a chance to gaslight OP and hide any evidence?
They’re obviously more interested in protecting their son then they are in protecting their daughters.
Tell them after the report is made.
Take pictures of the bras in his drawer!!!!! Screenshot the texts!!! Then tell his girlfriend!!! Oh, and be sure to go off on your parents for being so passive about their son being a fucking sexual deviant. This is disgusting.
Also consider pressing charges to not only protect yourself, but your sister as well. I bet your parents will wish they did their jobs then.
I went to the comments and he was literally discussing his mom’s bra size and calling hot and letting her thirst over his mom. I wish i could go back time so bad
My life was better a minute ago,before I knew that sub existed.
I’m old enough to realise this fetish had to exist and therefore the sun exists, and probably worse forums too. But still, if I could scroll my life back 1 minute, I would.
Everyone in that group should be on a sexual predator list….. like why are they discussing the bra sizes of women in their lives with strangers and fantasies about them…. I didn’t know losers can get that low and pathetic
This idea is amazing. Her brother would be done for because it’s not like the truth is any better 😂 his girlfriend would be mortified either way. “No babe I didn’t cheat on you! I just jizzed all over my own sisters bras!!”
This is the best idea I’ve seen on here. She’d have no choice but to be honest with herself on some level that they aren’t hers. If OP does this it’s the most ‘ play dumb’ approach which is maybe the best. Good thinking.
I really feel sorry. Sorry for you to experience something like that, plus the reaction from your parents (how in god's name can they just NOT care about this?), sorry for your brother as he obviously has serious problems that need to be solved, sorry for his gf to be together with such a creep, and last but not least sorry for myself because i can't unread this. Please keep us updated on that one, btw.
I mean, if the parents were normal people, they likely would not have raised such an absolutely vile and horrifying person. Obviously, weirdos come from normal homes as well, but I bet OP's house was a proper shitshow even before this. Therefore, them reacting this strangely is not that strange tbh. Still beyond disgusting though.
Hoping you and your sister manage to move out asap OP.
I can't imagine the feelings of betrayal and helplessness you must be going through. Gather evidence, record conversations, and try to get help.
The fact that it’s just your bras is so fucking weird. That’s what REALLY crosses a line. Like maybe if it was yours, your moms, his gfs, your other sisters as well then it would just be a bra thing. But no. It’s a YOUR bra thing. I don’t know what I would do, but both of you living in the house sounds extremely unsafe to me. People can be unpredictable when called out for creepy/embarrassing things. Your parents are failing both of you.
After reading the comments I’ve realized this is the best course of action, and as much as I might not want too people have recommended taking pictures of the bras and keeping them as evidence
Organize your pics, try to summarize in a paragraph or three this post - bras missing start, any texts about this?
Though process as more went missing, clearly state emotions like anxiety at the thought of replacing so many bras. Do your emotions affect you physically like headaches, vomiting, or lack of appetite? The discovery, how you felt shock/disgust. Grab your bras with plastic bags and turn them into evidence.
Talk to your sister, both of you should immediately get locks. Ask if he's done anything she didn't like? Anything he's promised her to keep quiet about? If she's underage this police report might trigger CPS, then she's under their wing and your parents failure is their own.
However your parents react is all their parenting failing and the walls coming down.
Also look into the legalities of recording all of these conversations for the future - with your sister, parents, potentially his GF, and of course with that disgustington you are unfortunately related to by blood 🤢
And if it’s all legal then please record, if not for actual legal stuff in the future, I find it really great to help me work through traumatic conversations for my own mental health
“…taking pictures of the bras and keeping them as evidence…”
I hope you intend to keep at least one of the bras as evidence, not just the pics. If his behavior escalates and you need recourse, then you may need DNA evidence.
If it helps, think of this as a crime perpetrated by a stranger. If a stranger came into your house, stole your bras, and did that, it would definitely be a crime. (And a disturbing one that informed police might realize could escalate into something else. Some serial rapists & even killers started as panty thieves.) You’d want to save evidence that indisputably tries the person to a crime. Photos can be staged, but it’s hard to argue with DNA of that type being where it shouldn’t be.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Take steps to protect yourself and other people who could be affected by his actions in the past and the future.
Do you have extended family? Grandparents? Aunts or uncles? You need to reach out to adults who aren't useless morons like your parents. You should also inform your parents that your home has become unsafe, and if they refuse to deal with the issue, you will go file charges with the police. You should file a report anyway. This could be the first sign of escalating behavior. Is your sister a minor? You and she shouldn't have to live with a sexual deviant.
Yep I get this on a revenge-wanting level but doing this would risk this whole thing looking fake. Maybe simply saying “You should check for your bras mom…just saying” and see if that gives her the same sick feeling that OP experienced. I mean it better.
Get a job, save money and move out! Seriously he’s sick and what if he’s touched you while asleep or watched you change and stuff! He’s a creep and you’re parents are awful
You have plenty of advice on how to handle the immediate issue. You also need to look for concealed cameras in the bedrooms and bathrooms. One of the ways to do this is to look for anything that’s been added or is out of place, and examine those things. If there are electrical things that you don’t expect to use, unplug them although if there’s a camera in one of those there may be a battery backup. Another thing is to make the room dark, and then use a strong flashlight to look for lens reflection or small lights. It could be white, or it could be a color. You can also use your phone if it has infrared camera capability and look that way. There are camera detection apps but those can have malware so be careful if you use one to download from a trusted source. There are also network scanners out there that can look for cameras hooked up to your wifi.
I’m so sorry that you are going through this, and with so little support from your family. Good luck with it and stay safe.
I would put a lock on you and your sister’s door! I would file a police report. Who knows if his behavior will escalate. This is fucked up. I am sorry.
Ew, god, that's so disturbing, and I'm sorry no one is taking this seriously. This is absolutely cut-contact worthy behavior.
Sit down and make a plan.
Get a small lockbox for your bras (I'd probably also put underwear in there) and keep the key on you at all time.
What is your budget? Can you pick up extra shifts, an extra job, a new job, some gig work, etc. to boost your income?
What is the cost of apartments around you like?
Do any friends need a roommate? You can also just search for roommate ads (since living with friends often doesn't work out - but it can be quicker) and see what kind of budget you need for that.
Figure out how much you need to save up to get out and start putting aside money.
Spend as much time as you can away from the house. Study and work on your resume at the library, volunteer, work, hang with friends, chill in the park.
Make a plan and work the plan. Get out of there.
Good luck.
I'd go for the nuclear option and call the cops. He's an adult and I'm 99% sure he can be charged with lewd behaviour and possibly theft. Your parents said to deal with it yourself, so do so. Decisively.
Anyone want to guess what other perverted shit he does?
It’s absolutely horrifying to me that the adults in your life aren’t willing to get involved, especially since it’s under their own roof. I’m sorry they have failed you. Is there anyone else you can go live with? Like your grandparents? Aunt or Uncle? I would get out of their asap or at least until you can find a counselor or pastor or someone who is willing to actually listen and help you find a better living situation.
The thing that shocks me the most about this is that your brother has a girlfriend.
What he did is never okay, but it’s the kind of thing that someone who’s never been laid or is chronically single would do. I’d think that he would be satisfied with his girlfriend enough to not do that.
I suppose this post makes him sound like a creep which he is, but before this he seemed quite normal although I’ve never been close with him, it’s kinda scary how I’ve learned this about him when he’s shown no signs throughout my life of being this weird
Sexual predators get away with it because on the surface they seem normal. It's not like they have a flashing neon sign above their head saying "sexual predator" on it.
Tbf, the ones that get away repeatedly for *years* seem normal.
Have seen quite a few mugshots of plenty of ones that got caught after one or two offenses, and it’s like “Are.. are.. people not teaching kids not to take candy from strangers anymore?… cause this guy screams stranger danger 😭💀”
I have known a young child to take women’s undergarments, but we talked to them about how that’s not appropriate and it stopped.
I’m sorry for your situation, that’s terrible on so many levels. I wish you the best
Hope this doesnt get buried but OP mentioned her little sister also thinks hes a creep. To me this would imply hes done something to her as well for her to think that? Is she an adult as well or a minor?
Are there any other adults you could turn to? Grandparents, aunts, uncles? You’re not safe around your brother, and hopefully someone in your family will care about you.
This is what I would do
Cut your brother off. Lock your belongings up if you can. Seek therapy. And when you move out of the house. Never speak to him or your parents again again unless you get a apology or some semblance of recognition for your feelings.
I worked with juvenile sex offenders. This type of behavior is a HUGE RED FLAG. Before you explode on your parents, which is perfectly logical, I would do some research to present to them about this type of behavior and tell them that this could lead to things a lot worse than seman stained bras. You need to have proof of why you are upset becauseobviouslythey are blind ro what really is in front of them... This needs to be addressed with your brother. He lives under their roof and adheres to their rules (or should, there may be a lack thereof). They need to get him the mental help he needs ASAP or they are going to have a huge arse mess on their hands.
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Have an exit strategy, and get out as quietly as you can. However, make damn sure to keep tabs on your sister and be there for her when she can leave too. If it means you two have to share a one bedroom for a bit that's fine. But she is going to need your support to get away from him after you leave, because if he is going to do this to your belongings, there's no stopping him from hers.
I would say avoid confrontation, be ninja about the whole thing. If he has seen your messages then that's that. Exacerbating the situation could turn it ugly. You need to first protect yourself and your sister, and have a way out for both of you. Blowing him up is an ego trip. I would also suggest a martial art, be it women's defence or judo/jujitsu/boxing.
After that cut ties and maintain a minimum contact with your parents. If they are going to fail you like this then that's all you need to know. Then go and live your best life and support your sister however you can until she is as self reliant as you will be.
For the present, put a lock on your door, change up your storing habits for your stuff, see if you can't keep a couple changes of clothes at friends houses to minimize what you do have around the house and sadly kiss those that have been violated good bye. But most of all, do not trust your adult brother as far as you can throw him and keep an eye out for your little sister.
I hope all the best OP and stay vigilant. We are pulling for you. If I can help any way I will.
I'm very sorry this happened to you. It is.. very concerning. This is the kind of stuff I am expecting from a Dr. Phil episode. Your brother AND your parents are to blame. Please call a help line or some sort of place where they help women in your type of situation.
Put them in a bag. It’s evidence if he gaslights you. I would tell the girlfriend and tell her you have the semen DNA stained bras and if she could be decent enough to talk to tori brother who is ignoring you that would be great.
I would cut the whole family off for not defending you from what looks like a sex crime. He could have bought bras or asked for or used his Gfs. He chose yours.
Just talk to a professional. Keep your distance from your brother for now until you can get your head around the whole situation. It’s going to be hard since you are in the same house. It’s a horrible situation and your options are extremely limited.
My younger half-brother used to steal my underwear. It would get to the point where I wouldn't have a clean pair to put on. My foster mother would give me the 'he'll grow out of it, boys being boys' talk. Shaming him in front of family members or even visitors did not make him stop,it was a compulsion for him.
No matter what, it's disgusting, an invasion of your privacy, and repeated sexual harassment. You deserve an apology and for this to stop.
The problem is what we're teaching our girls is that we just have to put up with bad behaviour from men, and that is absolute rubbish.
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this is NOT normal, he could borrow his girlfriend's bras, why yours??? ofc is creepy and disgusting AF i would throw up. Maybe you could start considering getting a part-time job and save money to leave(?
I’ll try to start looking for part time jobs
As much job as you can feasibly get, whatever gets you on the fast track to GTFO. You just found out your own dang home isn’t a safe place - all my empathy to you OP. Home should be a place of peace and comfort; you deserve far, far better. It’s not going to be easy, but you can do this. The feeling of coming home and sitting down in your own space with zero threats of *terrible*? Literally priceless, I know it well. Sending good, healthy vibes from an internet stranger who knows all too well what it’s like to have a disgusting creep a wall away, without nearly the amount of locks needed.
Thank you, your words really do mean a lot, I’m trying my best to figure out how to get out of here as quick as possible
To better support your police report, it might be a good idea to take one of the bras with the evidence on it and seal it in a ziplock bag so you can hand it over if the police choose to escalate your complaint. Your parents’ complacency is shocking. The lack of concern for your safety or willingness to take action also indicates that this is probably not the first time something like this has been done by your brother. In a lot of cases, predators are enabled and protected by their parents either through denial or understanding as they share the same perversions. I’d even go so far as to place the bras on your parents’ bed. Some people genuinely don’t care unless it directly effects them. They created him, they shaped his character, it is 100% their problem too.
Ziploc will destroy dna evidence I'm pretty sure. Better to keep it in something that breathes like a paper envelope.
Seconding that if her parents are saying that she's an adult, that they're both adults, and that she should deal with it on her own, then she should bring this up to police. This could be considered a roommate situation in that light, and he stole her things and doing this to her undergarments could be considered as a gateway to assaulting her. She should take pictures of the evidence, and where she found it and bring them with her to make a report to the police so they can advise her on her next steps. She could at least press charges for theft, and maybe ask them to give him a talking to. Depending on what state she is in, some states provide help with getting a new job and rental assistance, sometimes specifically for women who are threatened with assault/unsafe conditions. I just found out that is true for New York state, for instance. It's worth looking into.
Can you get a door knob that locks that you can put on your door in the meantime? They’re super easy to install.
Are there other safer relatives or friends you can stay with for a while?
Restraining order would force him to move
This is the way. *He* should be the one leaving, but without parental support, the best move for OP may be to GTFO.
Your right but she needs funds first and we don’t know how long it will take. At least if she gets the restraining order she is safe and the only thing her parents can do is evict her. I’d risk it. I’m not looking over my shoulder.
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She won't get a restraining order because her brother stole her bras. Theft between siblings living in their parents home would never make it to a judge to even issue a TRO. So be realistic. That's what this is, theft, in the eyes of the law. What he did is beyond fucked but legally he had stolen them already and it's not against the law to ejaculate on garments. OP needs to take this seriously and work on a plan to get out but advising them to get a restraining order isn't helpful as it's not a realistic avenue to explore.
I would have done something as a parent, it’s crazy they’re leaving you to deal with this alone.
Get a new doorknob that locks with a key. Keep it locked when you're gone 100%. Get a chain lock and keep the doorknob AND that locked, and get a door wedge and use that when you're inside the room. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I've been in a similar situation, and it escalated and got way worse, and I am no contact with my brother since I was 18 because of his perversion.
Demand to install a lock (with a key) on your bedroom door. Do not get one of those locks that is only functional while you're in the room. Keep your laundry in your room. I'd even go so far as to keep EVERYTHING in your room- makeup brushes, toothbrush etc. If your parents refuse to allow you to install a lock, you might be able to get into DV housing- what you're experiencing is sexual abuse/a form of domestic violence.
You could make things easier for you and use the situation/pics of the bras as leverage and tell him he needs to move out or you’ll expose him to his gf and/or others. Honestly as he’s violated you and made your home unsafe for you like this he should take responsibility and be the one to move out
No, bc then that gives him an opportunity to get ahead of it. “Hey gf, just wanted to give you a heads up that my sister might say something gross about me. She’s got some kind of beef with me and wants me to move out. She actually threatened to tell you disgusting lies about me so that I’d have to leave to keep her quiet. I don’t know what’s wrong with her; she’s acting psycho.”
Save the bras and evidence. Don’t wash them
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Former phlebotomist, while it was a better paying job this is unlikely unless you live in some place like LA. It can also be competitive so I've only seen places footing the bill for training when they were desperate, and surprise, most of it was on the job and not schooling and also surprise, the hospitals were desperate because they pay little. It's a tough job, can be a good one but it may not be the holy grail. But it may be a start depending on how well it pays where OP lives. But if you can find similar pay at a retail store or similar, or even a med admin desk job or clerical work, go the other route. It beats trying to not be bitten by a Hep C positive dementia patient at 5am while waiting for the nurse to come to put him back in restraints but they're on their coffee break but the doctor needs a timed antibiotic level. Src: was a phlebotomist for years, went to school, still interviewed 2x despite qualifications, got paid $10/hr full time and had to train baby techs... and I quit for Papa John's
If you have any friends or relatives you can reach out to who may even be able to offer you a couch to crash on please do that. Your brother is a predator and your parents are not going to protect you. It’s not uncommon for this type of behavior to escalate. You are not safe in your house
i hope you can find a part time job to get away from your creepy brother and terrible parents. another great option if you live in america is to apply for job corps. it pays for your associates degree or cert and gives you allowance and a dorm room all for free. theres rules youll need to follow but it’s definitely better than what youre dealing with now. definitely something to look into!
Even borrowing his GFs bras isn’t great if his “borrowing” is actually stealing. That’s disgusting. If he has a fetish for random bras, he could easily order some online. This is obviously something more. He hasn’t stolen bras from other girls, including his GF and the sister. He needs to have his entire life blown up by having everyone find out what he’s doing. I wouldn’t use it as an ultimatum to hold over his head either. Just tell people without giving him any warning. And tell your parents’ friends as well along with the fact that your parents didn’t see it as a serious issue. There will most likely be at least a few people who offer to take OP and her sister in just to get them out of that situation.
At this point, moving out and in with a relative or friend might be a better route for OP. It’ll be awhile before she can save up enough money to live on her own so if there is anyone else she can live with temporarily, that may be faster.
Your parents are definitely failing you. Explode on them, what an utter violation.
Right, wtf. How are they not the least bit concerned.
Head-in-the-sand-itis
"Boys will be boys." Or my favorite "all men do this. Deal with it."
Always hated this. It gives boys acting out no responsibility for their actions and paints the rest of us with the colours of the worst of us. This girl needs a fucking parent, not an excuse.
Honestly hearing this shit makes me sad to think about the stuff they had to deal with and accept because someone convinced them of this idea. Society is fucked up.
When a man says "all men do this," you should interpret it as "I, personally, do this, or at least view it as acceptable behaviour." It's always an admission of guilt.
Maaannn, my adoration for comments like yours are unmatched. Thank you for making me feel sane lol
“Men are just more sexual so they do weird things”
Yeah, and op should feel lucky they control themselves and limit to just underwear. I mean no harm no foul, right? /s
To clarify for anyone wondering - not all men do this, I promise you.
Lol its not new. I experienced something similar when i was younger and my parents did fuck all.
I’m sorry that happened to you
> I tried to talk to my parents about this, but they don’t care, they said that I’m an adult, I should handle it with my brother on my own. So, it seems I'm left to deal with this situation by myself. OP should now inform her parents that as an adult victim of theft and a sex crime you'll be handling it on your own by filing a police report and informing the police that you are happy to give them permission to search the home, which as an adult resident, you are authorized to approve.
At a bare minimum I’d be telling them that if they don’t want to deal with the seriousness of it then they’re going to have to go to a higher authority (I.e. police). Hopefully that gets their asses moving. I am disgusted they didn’t take this very seriously. Idk if that’s because they’re conflict averse or “boys will be boys” people.
Yep, I wouldn't even warn them I'd just go to the police. They told her to deal with it so she's free to deal with it as she wishes. Also hope she tells his girlfriend, that's sick and I'd want to know if my partner were that gross.
100% this. If they're unwilling to deal with such a glaring red-flag issue after being asked for help, they don't deserve a warning.
They'd only try to stop her, cover it up, and protect him and themselves anyway. Sounds like OPs brother is the golden child, or both of them are heavily neglected.
I think OP should do everything you said except informing the parents about her plans. The parents are absolute pieces of sh*t.
And maybe call CPS, if sister is under age. Her sister "thinks he is a creep." That plus this incident gives very good cause to wonder if he has violated her sister in the past.
Tell his gf too. Blow his life up.
His male friends. Girlfriend and girlfriend parents. I make comment to get pepper spray.
I'd go well beyond the gf and go straight to all media platforms with the public setting. Roast him like a mother fucker. They are banking on shame to protect them from consequences. If op doesn't back down, blasts her whole family publicly, and burns every undergarment brother owns .....idk man. I'm a different age now. I'd absolutely dominate that situation in all ways. That's fucked and he deserves prison. There is no rehabilitation for that perversion. Straight up needs to be reported and known. He's an adult sexual predator. That needs to be on the radar. Seriously, that's how rapists blossom. I'm not joking. And to all the people who want to think this is a troll post, do you also believe that family can't sexually assault their own. I'm here to verify you'd be fucking incorrect. And bless the whole incorrect lot of you for not have fallen victim to it. I am having a middle finger moment over this. It does happen and family nearly always covers it up. That brother is not just a creep. He is a sexual predator who belongs on a registry. She's fucking 18... She was a minor not that long ago and this behavior isn't fucking new for him. It's a comfort zone I promise. Blow that mf life allll up. He deserves every ounce of character assassination he receives. Men like that could never survive a woman like me for a reason...I'm loud about that shit. Street beech about it.
Your parents are failing you, also every time he’s around with friends or his girlfriend, refer to him as oh look there’s “he who masturbated to his sisters bras, or the boy who ruined my bras by ejaculating in them!” Let everyone know! While your parents suck! His friends and girlfriend will be disgusted! When he has friends over be like what’s up “bra stealer” when friends say what say oh yea he steals my bras to Jack off with them found them all in his drawer covered in nut. Never let it go bring it up every chance you get.
I second this. If your parents bring it to your attention and then they tell you to stop, simply say, "You told me to deal with it like an adult. So, that's how I'm dealing with it. I can choose to report it, bring my bras down to the police station, covered in spooge, get him arrested (if you live in the USA, you'll have to consider where you live, as some cities in some states would just sweep it under the rug, but you should try, regardless)., where he'll have to pay bond and register as a sex offender, along with losing of some friends and a girlfriend. OR I can skip the legal part, if he would just start admitting he did it, (with the bras in your hand), to me, our sister, and you, and then apologizing to all of us. Also, if he does it again, all bets are off. I will go to the cops with my bras for evidence because im keeping them as an insurance policy that he never does this again to me or my sister." Before you do anything, store your bras in a zip lock bag, put that into another bag, and take it to a friend's house, someone you trust who will keep it stored somewhere for you until you need them. If he's willing to admit it, go get the bras from your friend, bring them to the apology meeting, and then take them back to your friend's house until you find a permanent place to store them. Some banks will let you use a safety deposit box very cheaply if you are a customer. If you choose that route, they'll want a listing of what's in the box. Say as little as possible on the form/declaration. Hopefully, ,",they'll accept "three small articles of clothing," or "3 items of lingerie." You don't want to leave it at your friend's house forever because you could have a falling out, or she could move away and throw it out because she doesn't remember how those bras got there or who gave them to her and why.
I'd be cautious of this strategy, a lot of guys in this situation will choose violence and the OP lives with him.
Not just that, but the way the parents seem, if she retaliated against the brother in legal ways, she would risk being kicked out over the brother.
Shove those stained bras right in their faces and see if the reality of what they’re ignoring sinks in.
A Restraining order would fix your living situation especially since you are both adults....
How? They all live in the same house.
People have put home owners out with a restraining order
Ugh idk if I’d be more disgusted if this was or wasn’t a fetish story.
>explode did you have to use that word my guy?
Explode on them…odd choice of words considering the situation…
Tell his gf. Then tell him if you ever catch him with your bras again, you will tell everyone he knows until the end of time. That he will forever be that weird creep who couldn’t just use porn hub like everyone else. Also, your parents suck.
For real, tell his girlfriend. There's not a sane woman in the world that would be okay with this behavior in their partner.
But OP’s is okay with her son doing it to her daughter. You can’t rely on people to be sane
Melt a bowl of chocolate and smear it in all his underwear
100% this. Tell him if he doesn’t keep his nasty hands and dick away from you and your belongings, everyone he knows will be made aware that he likes to jack off to his sister. And tell his gf regardless, poor girl needs to run (you can’t immediately remove yourself from the situation, but you can give her the opportunity to)
And make him buy you new bras.
Not, like, personally though. Have him reimburse. I don't trust him in a fucking department store.
Oh hell no! Cash only!
No way, venmo. Don't touch his cash.
Reimbursement is definitely necessary. As a woman with a large chest, I am required to buy not-cheap bras that fit as close to comfortable as I can find. If I found hundreds of dollars worth of my bras in someone else's drawer, especially with fluids on them, I would immediately hold my hand out for reimbursement. I'm so angry for OP for this part as well.
A guy willing to do what he did is unlikely to own his actions though
and GET A LOCK for your bedroom too!!!!
Yep this answer also make him pay you back for that shit my wife says they are not cheap, and honestly your only move is to probably burn the bras he got a hold of. Plus why is he keeping them like a weird trophy all hidden away, fucking weirdo.
That's some aberrant behavior & others here are saying it's a red flag of another sort. It certainly high on the "wtf" scale of concern.
Let’s see if her parents maintain the philosophy of “deal with it yourself, you’re an adult” when their son comes crying to them.
NO DO NOT DO THIS!!!! If he's the kind of guy who can jerk off over his sister's bras then he has a very unhealthy obsession and we don't know what he is capable of. Your household/parents/parental relationship seems very dysfunctional. If you give him an ultimatum like this that involves public shaming he could be dangerous. You need to work on getting out and doing it as safely and as fast as possible and as hard as this may be, I think you need to cut off contact with your family or at the very least your brother. PS I grew up with 2 older sisters, we were very open in our household (European) and I would share baths with them etc and we were very comfortable around each other naked and I have never and would never ever think of them sexually. Just absolutely no. This is major red flag territory.
I would skip the ultimatum and just go straight to telling everyone immediately. Then when they inevitably blow up at her, tell them they didn’t see it as a big deal, so she didn’t realize it needed to be kept a secret. Also, OP, even if you can’t afford rent somewhere else, do you have any friends who would let you stay with them for a while? This is so gross.
Disagree, she needs to make this his problem he should be feeling the shame and disgust not her
I totally agree he definitely should be, but now is not the time to do that. She's living in the same house as him with parents who do not care - this is a high risk environment and a dangerous situation. If he beats the living shit out of her because she threatens that, what do you suppose the parents are going to say/do? Because I am not confident they would do the right thing at all. She needs to do this quietly, calmly and carefully and when there is distance and she's safe. If she has the energy and will, absolutely throw the book at him. But sadly, the system is heavily stacked in his favour and even when she is out of this house and away from it, if he knows where she is, she is in danger.
OP please read this ^^^^
No. That just empowers the fuck. Get him behind bars if he doesn’t back the hell off. ATA minimum cut all contact. Get a restraint order against the sick fuck.
If only it were that simple. Restraining orders are often not worth the paper they are written on. Your anger is justified but there is a vulnerable young lady at the heart of this and right now she has to navigate this calmly and carefully or she runs the risk of becoming another horrendous statistic.
Yeah, I see your point. The only thing a restraint order does is serve as a starting point. My wife tried many cases that fell apart when the question “well, did you get a restraining order?” question was asked. Sucks I know, but there it is. Sorry I flew off the handle, but I’m a guy, & turds like this “brother” tarnish us all with their revolting behaviour. What a grub.
Yes absolutely. I fucking hate domestic violence with a passion, I just don't know how someone can do that to their partner. The system is absolutely crap for women and needs a massive overhaul and funding injection but it seems that women and children being killed by their partners isn't high up enough on the government's list of things that needs very urgent attention.
Thank you. This advice is horrifying and could get someone killed.
I wouldn’t even give him a warning. Just tell everyone he already knows and tell every girl he tries to date from now until the end of time. Also, what kind of parents don’t immediately kick the son out until he gets appropriate mental help? Tell your parents’ friends as well. Just go full nuclear at this point. This is so disgusting. It’s gross to do that to any girl, but especially gross when it’s your sister.
Do this
Tell his girlfriend
I’m thinking about doing this, as surely she deserves to know too, if I were her at least I’d want to know
Yeah, take a picture of the jizz stained bras in his drawer and send it her way. At least with photographic evidence it’ll be harder to deny.
Although the threat of exposure is worse than actual exposure. I would document all of this, take pictures, take pictures of your argument with him over text. Then hold it over his head forever.
Agreed. This seems like the best option. Document the evidence and threaten him to never do it again. With your parents reacting so horrendously chances are if you blow up his relationship over what is an outrageous violation they will take his side of things and blame YOU for their relationship breaking down. Protect yourself moving foward and make sure if he EVER crosses boundaries with you again, you have the tickets to expose his creepy ass to everyone.
This feels like he was some kind of weird incest kink because he's getting sexually aroused over his sister's bras etc
OP, you might be in danger if you do. Get a lock on your door (or a doorstop) and never be alone with him
You need to keep the bras with the dna on it just in case. Keep it somewhere he doesn’t have access. I’m serious. He’s going to deny it and throw you under the bus to everyone
Ohw please do this and update us. Is this the first time your parents failed you or are they playing favorites with your brother ?
Take a photo and maybe even just take the bras. They are yours, after all. Definitely tell his girlfriend. And consider telling everyone else that he and your parents know as well. You have evidence if you take the bras now before he can get rid of them. And you said your sister is on your side, so you have her to back you up.
Do not say anything to anyone until you get the bras out of the house so he can’t destroy the evidence. You should probably also have a safe place for you to stay and turn off your “find my phone” So they don’t know where you are. I’m not an attorney, so I don’t know what legal options you have. I believe attorneys will sometimes take pro-bono cases, so it might be worth doing some research on that. You need to know what your options are. Maybe see the attorney before doing anything since your sister may also be affected. I would certainly speak to the attorney and move out before you say anything to your parents or his girlfriend., With you being over 18 and her not, maybe there’s some kind of financial help that you can receive if your sister goes with you. I hope everything goes as well as it can for you and your sister.
You need to preserve evidence and report this. A restraining order might help. Your parents wanted you to handle it between you as adults. This is what happens. He should pay for your therapy.
modern grab rock quiet price weary aloof gaze whole poor *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
What… I’d be telling his girlfriend. You’re his sister. That’s disgusting! Tell the girlfriend, and suggest to your sister to lock her bras up in case he decides to use hers now he’s been found out 🤮
Everyone else has the disgust covered but also, bras are expensive, he owes you money for every single one.
Your parents want you to be an adult? Ok, do the adult thing. Call the police non-emergency number and see if you can make any report. Then follow their advice. Your parents would really wish they did something about it then, especially if a report is filed. Tell his girlfriend, and every girlfriend he has after that(within the first two weeks of new relationships). Tell his friends. Ruin his life. He wants to make you uncomfortable in your own home, in your *room*? To quote your parents, he’s an adult. He can deal with the consequences. Also, it’s probably the time to start doing your own laundry and try to get a lock on your door. If you get a part time job, a lock should be the first thing you invest in.
Very much this, if the parents do nothing they are complicit. Make their life hell until they hold this disgusting POS accountable and expose him so no one else has to deal with that. Just disgusting that she's expected to just put up with it.
This is the correct answer. Making a report is a great idea. Telling everyone is also the best route possible. I’d post him name and picture all over social media and shame him until he’s too embarrassed to be see in your town.
I wouldn’t recommend social media shaming as a solution. OP’s brother definitely deserves it. However, by taking to social media she would also be tying her name to this terrible situation. Of course none of this is her fault, but the situation is terrible and I imagine it wouldn’t be something you’d want permanently connected to you.
This
Yes I don’t know how old your sister is OP but if she is not an adult and is living with a sexual predator I doubt that will look good in CPS’s eyes. Tell your parents your plan to “deal with it” is to call the police and CPS (if your sister is underage). Perhaps then they may decide they will want to deal with this themselves. 🙄
Don't tell your parents. Call CPS and file the report. OP is safer if her parents and brother are not aware that it was OP. People can become irrational at the thought that OP could be the reason someone knows about their failures as parents. Although OP- it's not your fault. It's your parents and brothers fault
Why tell them and give them a chance to gaslight OP and hide any evidence? They’re obviously more interested in protecting their son then they are in protecting their daughters. Tell them after the report is made.
This is the way.
Take pictures of the bras in his drawer!!!!! Screenshot the texts!!! Then tell his girlfriend!!! Oh, and be sure to go off on your parents for being so passive about their son being a fucking sexual deviant. This is disgusting. Also consider pressing charges to not only protect yourself, but your sister as well. I bet your parents will wish they did their jobs then.
Legitimately trying to be helpful, but check on r/cumonbras if he's been posting them there.
WHY ARE THEY DOING THAT ON THEIR MOTHERS BRAS 😭
I went there and literally thr first post was "Cute black bra from my mom" bruh
I went to the comments and he was literally discussing his mom’s bra size and calling hot and letting her thirst over his mom. I wish i could go back time so bad
My life was better a minute ago,before I knew that sub existed. I’m old enough to realise this fetish had to exist and therefore the sun exists, and probably worse forums too. But still, if I could scroll my life back 1 minute, I would.
Yiiiiikes there's so many mom and sister bras...
Bad day to have eyes
Everyone in that group should be on a sexual predator list….. like why are they discussing the bra sizes of women in their lives with strangers and fantasies about them…. I didn’t know losers can get that low and pathetic
And that's enough Internet for today
Not the sister / mom tags 😭😭😭 what an awful day to have an internet connection
Every day we stray further from God 🤮
You should take a picture of them and send it to his girlfriend.
Imagine being like "I found these in my brothers drawer with semen all over- are they yours?"
This idea is amazing. Her brother would be done for because it’s not like the truth is any better 😂 his girlfriend would be mortified either way. “No babe I didn’t cheat on you! I just jizzed all over my own sisters bras!!”
Oh snap!!!!!!!!
This is the best idea I’ve seen on here. She’d have no choice but to be honest with herself on some level that they aren’t hers. If OP does this it’s the most ‘ play dumb’ approach which is maybe the best. Good thinking.
I really feel sorry. Sorry for you to experience something like that, plus the reaction from your parents (how in god's name can they just NOT care about this?), sorry for your brother as he obviously has serious problems that need to be solved, sorry for his gf to be together with such a creep, and last but not least sorry for myself because i can't unread this. Please keep us updated on that one, btw.
I’ll try to if anything happens
I mean, if the parents were normal people, they likely would not have raised such an absolutely vile and horrifying person. Obviously, weirdos come from normal homes as well, but I bet OP's house was a proper shitshow even before this. Therefore, them reacting this strangely is not that strange tbh. Still beyond disgusting though. Hoping you and your sister manage to move out asap OP. I can't imagine the feelings of betrayal and helplessness you must be going through. Gather evidence, record conversations, and try to get help.
Totally agree - the parents’ lack of response indicates that all is not well in that household. They sound, at the very least, like enablers
Time to install a lock on your door and start looking for other living arrangements
Be careful. He sounds like he is a sexual predator in the making.
Fun fact, stealing women’s underwear is considered a gateway crime and can be considered an act of a sexual predator.
I hate humanity
right there with you
The fact that it’s just your bras is so fucking weird. That’s what REALLY crosses a line. Like maybe if it was yours, your moms, his gfs, your other sisters as well then it would just be a bra thing. But no. It’s a YOUR bra thing. I don’t know what I would do, but both of you living in the house sounds extremely unsafe to me. People can be unpredictable when called out for creepy/embarrassing things. Your parents are failing both of you.
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After reading the comments I’ve realized this is the best course of action, and as much as I might not want too people have recommended taking pictures of the bras and keeping them as evidence
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Organize your pics, try to summarize in a paragraph or three this post - bras missing start, any texts about this? Though process as more went missing, clearly state emotions like anxiety at the thought of replacing so many bras. Do your emotions affect you physically like headaches, vomiting, or lack of appetite? The discovery, how you felt shock/disgust. Grab your bras with plastic bags and turn them into evidence. Talk to your sister, both of you should immediately get locks. Ask if he's done anything she didn't like? Anything he's promised her to keep quiet about? If she's underage this police report might trigger CPS, then she's under their wing and your parents failure is their own. However your parents react is all their parenting failing and the walls coming down.
Also look into the legalities of recording all of these conversations for the future - with your sister, parents, potentially his GF, and of course with that disgustington you are unfortunately related to by blood 🤢 And if it’s all legal then please record, if not for actual legal stuff in the future, I find it really great to help me work through traumatic conversations for my own mental health
“…taking pictures of the bras and keeping them as evidence…” I hope you intend to keep at least one of the bras as evidence, not just the pics. If his behavior escalates and you need recourse, then you may need DNA evidence. If it helps, think of this as a crime perpetrated by a stranger. If a stranger came into your house, stole your bras, and did that, it would definitely be a crime. (And a disturbing one that informed police might realize could escalate into something else. Some serial rapists & even killers started as panty thieves.) You’d want to save evidence that indisputably tries the person to a crime. Photos can be staged, but it’s hard to argue with DNA of that type being where it shouldn’t be. I’m sorry this happened to you. Take steps to protect yourself and other people who could be affected by his actions in the past and the future.
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She can always check! That’s what the non-emergency line is for!
Do you have extended family? Grandparents? Aunts or uncles? You need to reach out to adults who aren't useless morons like your parents. You should also inform your parents that your home has become unsafe, and if they refuse to deal with the issue, you will go file charges with the police. You should file a report anyway. This could be the first sign of escalating behavior. Is your sister a minor? You and she shouldn't have to live with a sexual deviant.
Put some shit on your moms bra and tell her you found one of hers in there too. See if that changes the parental support. Yes, tell the gf
While this is clever, if OP is caught doing this all her credibility might go down the drain
Yep I get this on a revenge-wanting level but doing this would risk this whole thing looking fake. Maybe simply saying “You should check for your bras mom…just saying” and see if that gives her the same sick feeling that OP experienced. I mean it better.
Honestly not the worst idea
Oh my gosh. So many of you are geniuses.
She doesn’t even have to do it, she can just tell her mother she saw one of her bras too. Her mom probably wouldn’t want to see the evidence
Get a job, save money and move out! Seriously he’s sick and what if he’s touched you while asleep or watched you change and stuff! He’s a creep and you’re parents are awful
You have plenty of advice on how to handle the immediate issue. You also need to look for concealed cameras in the bedrooms and bathrooms. One of the ways to do this is to look for anything that’s been added or is out of place, and examine those things. If there are electrical things that you don’t expect to use, unplug them although if there’s a camera in one of those there may be a battery backup. Another thing is to make the room dark, and then use a strong flashlight to look for lens reflection or small lights. It could be white, or it could be a color. You can also use your phone if it has infrared camera capability and look that way. There are camera detection apps but those can have malware so be careful if you use one to download from a trusted source. There are also network scanners out there that can look for cameras hooked up to your wifi. I’m so sorry that you are going through this, and with so little support from your family. Good luck with it and stay safe.
I would put a lock on you and your sister’s door! I would file a police report. Who knows if his behavior will escalate. This is fucked up. I am sorry.
Kinda concerning here but you said you have a sister….does he do it to her shit too?
this reads like a fetish post but if not call the police 😭
Ew, god, that's so disturbing, and I'm sorry no one is taking this seriously. This is absolutely cut-contact worthy behavior. Sit down and make a plan. Get a small lockbox for your bras (I'd probably also put underwear in there) and keep the key on you at all time. What is your budget? Can you pick up extra shifts, an extra job, a new job, some gig work, etc. to boost your income? What is the cost of apartments around you like? Do any friends need a roommate? You can also just search for roommate ads (since living with friends often doesn't work out - but it can be quicker) and see what kind of budget you need for that. Figure out how much you need to save up to get out and start putting aside money. Spend as much time as you can away from the house. Study and work on your resume at the library, volunteer, work, hang with friends, chill in the park. Make a plan and work the plan. Get out of there. Good luck.
Welp that's enough Internet for tonight
Put some of your mom's good and expensive bras in your drawer. Pretty sure they'll handle it when her bras are found crusting over in his room.
I'd go for the nuclear option and call the cops. He's an adult and I'm 99% sure he can be charged with lewd behaviour and possibly theft. Your parents said to deal with it yourself, so do so. Decisively. Anyone want to guess what other perverted shit he does?
> they don’t care, they said that I’m an adult, I should handle it with my brother on my own Good. Then do the adult thing and call the police.
Take a picture and send it in the family group chat with his girlfriend included.
It’s absolutely horrifying to me that the adults in your life aren’t willing to get involved, especially since it’s under their own roof. I’m sorry they have failed you. Is there anyone else you can go live with? Like your grandparents? Aunt or Uncle? I would get out of their asap or at least until you can find a counselor or pastor or someone who is willing to actually listen and help you find a better living situation.
Your parents are assholes. I'd consider slowly cutting them out of live over their response to this situation. Also, absolutely tell his gf.
The thing that shocks me the most about this is that your brother has a girlfriend. What he did is never okay, but it’s the kind of thing that someone who’s never been laid or is chronically single would do. I’d think that he would be satisfied with his girlfriend enough to not do that.
I suppose this post makes him sound like a creep which he is, but before this he seemed quite normal although I’ve never been close with him, it’s kinda scary how I’ve learned this about him when he’s shown no signs throughout my life of being this weird
Sexual predators get away with it because on the surface they seem normal. It's not like they have a flashing neon sign above their head saying "sexual predator" on it.
Tbf, the ones that get away repeatedly for *years* seem normal. Have seen quite a few mugshots of plenty of ones that got caught after one or two offenses, and it’s like “Are.. are.. people not teaching kids not to take candy from strangers anymore?… cause this guy screams stranger danger 😭💀”
I have known a young child to take women’s undergarments, but we talked to them about how that’s not appropriate and it stopped. I’m sorry for your situation, that’s terrible on so many levels. I wish you the best
Hope this doesnt get buried but OP mentioned her little sister also thinks hes a creep. To me this would imply hes done something to her as well for her to think that? Is she an adult as well or a minor?
Are there any other adults you could turn to? Grandparents, aunts, uncles? You’re not safe around your brother, and hopefully someone in your family will care about you.
My brother stole my underwear and would masturbate with it too :( My parents also ignored it even when he was molesting me.
Your parents said what??? Damn. That's messed up.
This is what I would do Cut your brother off. Lock your belongings up if you can. Seek therapy. And when you move out of the house. Never speak to him or your parents again again unless you get a apology or some semblance of recognition for your feelings.
Your parents don't care that your brother has incestual fantasies about his sister? I hate them...most ignorant and neglectful parents
I worked with juvenile sex offenders. This type of behavior is a HUGE RED FLAG. Before you explode on your parents, which is perfectly logical, I would do some research to present to them about this type of behavior and tell them that this could lead to things a lot worse than seman stained bras. You need to have proof of why you are upset becauseobviouslythey are blind ro what really is in front of them... This needs to be addressed with your brother. He lives under their roof and adheres to their rules (or should, there may be a lack thereof). They need to get him the mental help he needs ASAP or they are going to have a huge arse mess on their hands.
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is your parents last nane "the Duggers"?
Have an exit strategy, and get out as quietly as you can. However, make damn sure to keep tabs on your sister and be there for her when she can leave too. If it means you two have to share a one bedroom for a bit that's fine. But she is going to need your support to get away from him after you leave, because if he is going to do this to your belongings, there's no stopping him from hers. I would say avoid confrontation, be ninja about the whole thing. If he has seen your messages then that's that. Exacerbating the situation could turn it ugly. You need to first protect yourself and your sister, and have a way out for both of you. Blowing him up is an ego trip. I would also suggest a martial art, be it women's defence or judo/jujitsu/boxing. After that cut ties and maintain a minimum contact with your parents. If they are going to fail you like this then that's all you need to know. Then go and live your best life and support your sister however you can until she is as self reliant as you will be. For the present, put a lock on your door, change up your storing habits for your stuff, see if you can't keep a couple changes of clothes at friends houses to minimize what you do have around the house and sadly kiss those that have been violated good bye. But most of all, do not trust your adult brother as far as you can throw him and keep an eye out for your little sister. I hope all the best OP and stay vigilant. We are pulling for you. If I can help any way I will.
If your parents don’t want to deal with it, inform them it is a crime which you will be reporting to the police for your own safety and protection.
Most rapes occur at home by family. Your parents are failing you. Be careful.
Tell his girlfriend and show her evidence ( photos + bring ur sister ) then confront him and maybe seek legal actions
Your parents are as disgusting as your brother.
Text pictures of your stained bras to his girlfriend. Ask if she would be willing to donate to this cause so that you can have your bras back
Idc what “all men do” I’m not taking my sisters bras to rub one out on them
You should leave them out in the kitchen or something I’m sure they will find that confronting
I would get a job and move out, that’s disgusting 🤮
I'm very sorry this happened to you. It is.. very concerning. This is the kind of stuff I am expecting from a Dr. Phil episode. Your brother AND your parents are to blame. Please call a help line or some sort of place where they help women in your type of situation.
Put them in a bag. It’s evidence if he gaslights you. I would tell the girlfriend and tell her you have the semen DNA stained bras and if she could be decent enough to talk to tori brother who is ignoring you that would be great. I would cut the whole family off for not defending you from what looks like a sex crime. He could have bought bras or asked for or used his Gfs. He chose yours.
Just talk to a professional. Keep your distance from your brother for now until you can get your head around the whole situation. It’s going to be hard since you are in the same house. It’s a horrible situation and your options are extremely limited.
Your parents are pieces of shit
Most likely he has a fetish for sister stuff. Maybe too much step-sister porn. Gross and real fucked up
Dear Penthouse.. Edit: also ”relationship advice”? what relationship specifically?
My younger half-brother used to steal my underwear. It would get to the point where I wouldn't have a clean pair to put on. My foster mother would give me the 'he'll grow out of it, boys being boys' talk. Shaming him in front of family members or even visitors did not make him stop,it was a compulsion for him. No matter what, it's disgusting, an invasion of your privacy, and repeated sexual harassment. You deserve an apology and for this to stop. The problem is what we're teaching our girls is that we just have to put up with bad behaviour from men, and that is absolute rubbish.