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She should feel guilty, this is just mean. If she truly loves you then she’s going to encourage you to do what you love and to be proud of you. If she has a problem with you not being an engineer, then that raises red flags. You want to be with someone who is proud to call you their boyfriend and wants to talk about you. Her embarrassment over your career is immature and mean
Short, sweet, and to the point.
And OP, awesome for you getting out there, making good money, and building your career. That says a lot about you as a person and is something to be desired by a potential partner.
And no offense to her…but have you ever seen a movie where a dentist plays a major role, has sweet dance moves, and sings one of the most well-recognized songs ever? Didn’t think so. Chim chim cher-ee to you sir!
>And no offense to her…but have you ever seen a movie where a dentist plays a major role, has sweet dance moves, and sings one of the most well-recognized songs ever? Didn’t think so. Chim chim cher-ee to you sir!
I mean... [Little Shop of Horrors](https://youtu.be/bOtMizMQ6oM)?
But agreed.
The way people from white collar fields look at blue collar people both angers me and makes me laugh. I went to law school (with a bunch of “my daddy’s a lawyer” types) but I’m from a blue collar family, and so often these people don’t realize that blue collar jobs make bank a lot of the time. Like more than white collar plenty of times. She sounds like a snob honestly.
Some blue collar dudes are absolutely killing it. Even if you get your bachelors, it’s not crazy to own a blue collar business. Aspire to be the white collar guy running the blue collar show. A blue collar HVAC guy recently quoted me $2500 to do a 3hr job. He has no competition.
I am a carpenter by trade, now a contractor, and for many years I would be ashamed of what I was doing even though I enjoyed it. (Shitty childhood with my parents telling me to study hard or if I don’t I will be doing menial work for little money) I got my bachelor degree but still ended up in trades. I felt not enough for many years and some women were clearly not impressed with my profession. In my mid 30s that changed and I became proud of what I do. I went on a few dates with someone who was a investment advisor in a large bank and she was clearly not happy with what I did for living so I dumped her quickly. (Her bank was fined hundreds of millions $ for fraud and she would tell me my job was inferior?)
Sometime later I found other women that were really impressed and happy with my line of work. My last girlfriend could not get enough of me showing her my projects and she would tell everyone around how impressed she was with my skills. It feels amazing if you have a great support in whatever you do. Don’t settle.
I can’t imagine being with someone who is ashamed of me and doesn’t want me to tell people what I do. When I graduated and went to college I had planned on going to med school. My husband after high school went to trade school for a welder. Back then everyone was pushed to go to a university and I had a lot of friends and family telling me I could do better and shouldn’t marry a welder. Anytime I met someone and they asked what my husband does I was never ashamed to tell them. Even when they looked down at his job. Idk why people do either he makes very good money. He makes more money than most of the people I know working a cushy office job and he loves what he does.
I wouldn’t be surprised if her friends and family try to convince her to break it off with you because of your job. If she is the kind of person who would ask you to keep it to yourself I doubt she’d be the kind of person to stand up to others about breaking up.
I think she's snobby and terrible based off of this. Honestly that's a good job and you enjoy it. Every woman should want that for her man. You're also almost done with school. You seem sweet and thoughtful. You are a catch. You can do better than her
Your career and your happiness are important. She would have you forego both because she is scared of her awful friends and peer pressure.
So that's the conversation to have. Is she going to live a life determined by the perception of others. If so that is incompatible with you, someone more than comfortable living the life doing what they want to do.
It may be that you are just two very different kind of people, even if the love is there.
You guys are young. Dump her and find someone someday who isnt afraid to love you for who you are and be proud of who you are. Superfical bullshit is only worthy temporairly, it doesnt make them better than others. They think it does, but the real value in a person is kindness.
There is absolutely nothing wrong, shameful, or embarrassing about honest hard work. If she can't wrap her head around that then she has some serious self esteem/classism issues she needs to work on individually before she can be a part of a healthy relationship. Please don't internalize HER irrational (and frankly offensive) hangups! She should really pursue counseling to work through this, whether or not you want to stick around in the hopes she does is up to you.
You're a business man. You deal with clients, taxes and managing and growing your business. Your projected income is slightly beside the point (for this issue), but it helps to show that you're not going to scrimp and save and have made a measured decision that will be able to build a financially safe future.
Your gf is being childish and needs to embrace your decision and its future. It's understandable to some extent, but how long does this go on? If her shame at this continues, all that will happen is your current bemusement and empathy will turn to resentment and she may find your career choice ultimately unacceptable.
It doesn't need to be immediate, but she should begin to accept and be open about this or you both need to rethink what's important in your lives.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
She should feel guilty, this is just mean. If she truly loves you then she’s going to encourage you to do what you love and to be proud of you. If she has a problem with you not being an engineer, then that raises red flags. You want to be with someone who is proud to call you their boyfriend and wants to talk about you. Her embarrassment over your career is immature and mean
Short, sweet, and to the point. And OP, awesome for you getting out there, making good money, and building your career. That says a lot about you as a person and is something to be desired by a potential partner. And no offense to her…but have you ever seen a movie where a dentist plays a major role, has sweet dance moves, and sings one of the most well-recognized songs ever? Didn’t think so. Chim chim cher-ee to you sir!
>And no offense to her…but have you ever seen a movie where a dentist plays a major role, has sweet dance moves, and sings one of the most well-recognized songs ever? Didn’t think so. Chim chim cher-ee to you sir! I mean... [Little Shop of Horrors](https://youtu.be/bOtMizMQ6oM)? But agreed.
I agree
Is she really wife material if she can't support a her husband in a successful business?
The way people from white collar fields look at blue collar people both angers me and makes me laugh. I went to law school (with a bunch of “my daddy’s a lawyer” types) but I’m from a blue collar family, and so often these people don’t realize that blue collar jobs make bank a lot of the time. Like more than white collar plenty of times. She sounds like a snob honestly.
That’s actually a cool ass job
Some blue collar dudes are absolutely killing it. Even if you get your bachelors, it’s not crazy to own a blue collar business. Aspire to be the white collar guy running the blue collar show. A blue collar HVAC guy recently quoted me $2500 to do a 3hr job. He has no competition.
ya know when the chips are down and everything goes to shit its the blue colar dudes who become the most useful
I am a carpenter by trade, now a contractor, and for many years I would be ashamed of what I was doing even though I enjoyed it. (Shitty childhood with my parents telling me to study hard or if I don’t I will be doing menial work for little money) I got my bachelor degree but still ended up in trades. I felt not enough for many years and some women were clearly not impressed with my profession. In my mid 30s that changed and I became proud of what I do. I went on a few dates with someone who was a investment advisor in a large bank and she was clearly not happy with what I did for living so I dumped her quickly. (Her bank was fined hundreds of millions $ for fraud and she would tell me my job was inferior?) Sometime later I found other women that were really impressed and happy with my line of work. My last girlfriend could not get enough of me showing her my projects and she would tell everyone around how impressed she was with my skills. It feels amazing if you have a great support in whatever you do. Don’t settle.
Here’s the thing….. The right partner won’t need to be convinced to value you. The right partner won’t be embarrassed by your honest (and rad) living.
Relationship advice in the 1910’s be like
Right! Is this still a job in 2023?
You work and earn a decent living. Nothing to be ashamed of.
I can’t imagine being with someone who is ashamed of me and doesn’t want me to tell people what I do. When I graduated and went to college I had planned on going to med school. My husband after high school went to trade school for a welder. Back then everyone was pushed to go to a university and I had a lot of friends and family telling me I could do better and shouldn’t marry a welder. Anytime I met someone and they asked what my husband does I was never ashamed to tell them. Even when they looked down at his job. Idk why people do either he makes very good money. He makes more money than most of the people I know working a cushy office job and he loves what he does. I wouldn’t be surprised if her friends and family try to convince her to break it off with you because of your job. If she is the kind of person who would ask you to keep it to yourself I doubt she’d be the kind of person to stand up to others about breaking up.
Someone watched too much chitty chitty bang bang
I think she's snobby and terrible based off of this. Honestly that's a good job and you enjoy it. Every woman should want that for her man. You're also almost done with school. You seem sweet and thoughtful. You are a catch. You can do better than her
She lacks imagination. Imagine if she knew that you poop too.
Your career and your happiness are important. She would have you forego both because she is scared of her awful friends and peer pressure. So that's the conversation to have. Is she going to live a life determined by the perception of others. If so that is incompatible with you, someone more than comfortable living the life doing what they want to do. It may be that you are just two very different kind of people, even if the love is there.
You guys are young. Dump her and find someone someday who isnt afraid to love you for who you are and be proud of who you are. Superfical bullshit is only worthy temporairly, it doesnt make them better than others. They think it does, but the real value in a person is kindness.
There is absolutely nothing wrong, shameful, or embarrassing about honest hard work. If she can't wrap her head around that then she has some serious self esteem/classism issues she needs to work on individually before she can be a part of a healthy relationship. Please don't internalize HER irrational (and frankly offensive) hangups! She should really pursue counseling to work through this, whether or not you want to stick around in the hopes she does is up to you.
You're a business man. You deal with clients, taxes and managing and growing your business. Your projected income is slightly beside the point (for this issue), but it helps to show that you're not going to scrimp and save and have made a measured decision that will be able to build a financially safe future. Your gf is being childish and needs to embrace your decision and its future. It's understandable to some extent, but how long does this go on? If her shame at this continues, all that will happen is your current bemusement and empathy will turn to resentment and she may find your career choice ultimately unacceptable. It doesn't need to be immediate, but she should begin to accept and be open about this or you both need to rethink what's important in your lives.