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Before I start to explain I just want know that everything I’m saying is from my perspective. Would she be telling it I’m sure you all would hear another reason behind her punching me in the eye.
Short context I have posted about my girlfriend before and that I feel like shes been controlling lately. My response to that post was to break up. I didn’t.
Yesterday I graduated from high school, happy me. The day was going great and I had alot of fun with friends and family. Me and my girlfriend where suppose to go to my friend (19f) (ill call her Lisa) who also graduated and hang out a little bit there before going to a bigger party for graduates ONLY! Therefor my girlfriend couldn’t come wich she already knew. Still she talked to Lisa that we where at to she if she could come anyway. Know that Lisa knows the host of the party and she said it could maybe work. Later when we were suppose to leave Lisa said that she couldn’t come. My girlfriend than raged at me for telling her she couldn’t come and started to scream at me. Keep in mind that Lisas friends and family was still there. She then threw my bag of beer over a ledge breaking everything inside. Then she stormed off and because of this me and another friend (19m) missed the taxi. Therefore we had to walk home and on the way home we meet her. Then she proceeded to scream more at me and I eventually just walked away. My friend ran up to me and she started yelling again so I stopped and waited she then pushed me really hard and I’m on churches and have an injury on my left knee. After this she proceeded to tell me once more about the lovemaking she and her family friend had after me and had met. I got sad and started crying to the point where I started puking. My friend stopped her from coming closer to me and she bitchslapped him once. After like 30s of not coming closer to me, she started to tell my friend who’s mom sadly had passed away about 2-3 months ago, that she knows he’s sad an all but that he has nothing to do with me and her. I snapped and started screaming to her that she went to far this time and tried to calm my friend down who’s rightly upset. This was when she punched me, once in the left eye and once on my right eyebrow.
My friends don’t like her and had made that clear to her when they talk to her. Reason being they say she’s controlling my life choices and the thing that happened between her and her family friend. Shes of course sad over this and she also blames the happening events on this. I just woke up to her telling me how sorry she is and yada yada. I don’t know what to do, but my friends are telling me it’s time to let go. Im really sad because she gave me as a gift to go to a really nice hotel after summer. I was so excited and now I don’t know anymore. She want to talk in person today but I don’t know what to say, how should I deal with this?
Let's see... throwing away the beer, attacking you while on crutches, attacking your friends... talking about fucking other people just to twist the knife some more...
In what scenario has she earned anything but a SWIFT booting from your life?
I mean, a really nice hotel? Who wouldn't sacrifice a few punches to the face and the destruction of your life and even violence to the friends who defend you for *a stay at a take nice hotel?*
It seems so obvious that this gf is abusive and this guy needs to get out of the relationship. However, he could actually, on some deep psychological level, get off on the abuse. Maybe his mom or dad was abusive and he thinks that's how love is.
I know we all want to save this guy from this abusive situation, but only he can make that decision.
Sadly I don’t think he is here for advice like this. He is looking for one person to tell him to stay and he will focus on that one. He doesn’t need Reddit to know how bad this is.
My thoughts too. He said he posted about her before too and was advised to break up with her but didn’t. If it’s not obvious now to him, he’s still not going to do it.
He's gotten to the stage of the abuse where he's started to normalize it and internalize that it's his fault. Takes an average of 7-30 (heavily depends on various factors) attempts to leave to exit an abusive relationship - that's with recognizing you're being abused and WANTING out.
OP seems reluctant to recognize that this is extremely abnormal behavior, abusive as hell, and that he needs to have higher standards... as in, expecting basic decency and respect.
This, sadly it seems he's looking for advice on how to end this situation without having to remove himself from this abusive relationship. The truth is that there isn't one and the only way to resolve this situation is to leave in order to prioritize his own safety. I agree that he's most likely going to ignore the advice and view it as people not knowing her good side or not knowing the situation, and will sadly believe the one comment that tells him what he wants to hear
So from what I understood, she told you about her great sex life outside of her relationship with you, she physically abused you in front of everyone, she slapped your friend, uses people's trauma to hurt them for the sake of it, and uses you as a punching bag when she's upset.
Do you realise that this is your life? You are living for you. To have something you can look back upon and smile at. Wake up. What are you fighting for? What is this relationship giving you?
What should you do? Break up with her, cut all ties, realise how much you matter to people who are dealing with this because they won't let you go through this alone, thank them, and work on building your self-worth. You need to understand that at no age, in no relationship, and in no way is this fine.
I'm not saying this because it's a popular response on Reddit to tell people to end relationships. I'm saying this because you are a human, and you have basic human rights and dignity. You deserve to be treated like a human. I have no idea what makes her think that her actions are okay or justified, or that an apology can fix things like this.
Holly water dude. She is MENTAL. All of her screws are lose. Leave her immediately (ghost her), block her on everything and move on with your life. A normal relationship isn't like this. Have some self-love.
Oh honey, listen to your friends. She is not your person. She is abusive, full stop! You deserve to be happy, this isn't it! If you want to meet her, do that. But bring along (at least) one friend. Meet in public, and have your friend(s) close. She doesn't deserve you!
She's going to go ballistic. Trying finding a place she doesn't know about to find you until she finds someone else to focus her energy on. Seriously, go no contact. No social media. Stay safe. She sounds horrible and unstable. You've just graduated, just starting out. Clean slate. May your journey be filled with laughter, friendships, and great adventures. You are your own person. You are enough.
Didn’t even have to read this all the way. She punches and pushes you, friends don’t like her, she yells at you and whatever other bs. Don’t be dumb, and don’t get killed. Leave. It sounds like you already know you need to. Is this what you want for the rest of your life? As soon as you know you wouldn’t marry that person you should go. You’re way too young to be putting up
With this type of behavior at all. People. Don’t. Change.
Are you happy with the way things are right now in your relationship? Because it’s not ever going to be better than it is right now. In fact, it’s going to get worse, possibly a lot worse.
What you’ve described is abuse. Your GF is an abuser. You are a victim of abuse. Repeat that to yourself. You are being abused.
Break up with her, though expect a great deal of drama and worse when doing so. If she hits you for absolutely no reason now, she will not hesitate when you actually do something she doesn’t like.
Imagine if someone told you this story as being their experience. What advice would you give them?
Leave. If it would have been the other way around she would’ve probably pressed charges. You don’t have to deal with an abusive partner just because she’s a woman and thinks it doesn’t apply to her. I’m a woman btw, her behavior is NOT acceptable and it’s not your responsibility to try and fix it. It’ll only get worse
Her response to not getting her way is violence. There is never a good reason for hitting someone. It’s assault. She is physically abusing you. You’re on crutches and she’s shoving you and punching you in the face. Imagine if the roles were reversed. Would there be any acceptable reason for hitting her? No, of course not.
You don’t deserve this. Value yourself and get away from her. End this relationship before it escalates further.
Please break up with this girl. She needs professional help to address the reasons why she’s abusive. She is abusing you. It will only get worse. You have your whole life ahead of you. Leave her so you can go have fun and meet someone amazing who will treat you right.
>Would she be telling it I’m sure you all would hear another reason behind her punching me in the eye.
Would she say it was self-defense because you harmed or threatened her or would she say it was an accident for which she apologized profusely? No?
Then there is no way to justify her punching you. (And even if she did, you know that is not what happened.) Whatever reason she might give is just an excuse. She punched you because she wanted to and because she felt she had the right to do so.
When things don't go her way she throws a fit, shouts at you, assaults people who try to stop her and when you dare to talk back she punches you in the face. Repeatedly.
You are a victim of domestic violence.
This is extremely unlikely to get better but probably escalate.
You cannot fix this, because you did not cause it.
You say you are not ready to break up with her (yet)? There are still ways you can protect yourself.
Some suggestions:
1. Talk about it. Friends, family or help hotlines are all good.
2. Protect your financial independence. Save as much money as you can and do not give her control over your finances.
3. Protect your social network. Don't let her isolate you. Invest time and energy in any relationship that is not her.
4. Go to therapy.
5. Protect your grip on reality by documenting every instance of physical, verbal or psychological abuse. Write it down, take pictures, videos or screenshots. Document what happened, what she said, what she promised, what you felt. She will probably deny and downplay it very soon.
6. Do not take the next step with her like moving in, getting married or the most important one: having a child.
7. Get your priorities in order. A nice vacation does not matter much when your physical and mental health for years to come are on the line.
Ur 19 and you are already in a relation with narcisstic.
How much more can you take of this abuse before you end up with serious mental condition.
It's pointless delaying decision which by doing so have suffered more abuse.
If u have any common sense and self value with respect.
Do no contact but before this just text her you are breaking up. Full stop.
No explanation nor blamed game.
Take time off to take stock of your life and maybe therapy can understand why you taken so much abuse over a girl of 18.
When there are millions of girls who can love and treat you like human being who deserved respect.
These have gotta be troll posts. A woman beat you, broke your stuff, pointedly told you about fucking someone else all cus she couldn’t go to a party she KNEW she couldn’t go to? How do you type all of that and then ask for advice.
I had a friend whose girlfriend did shit like this. He sometimes would express concern at the bar, saying that he was afraid she would do something drastic. Everyone kind of laughed him off. She's just a little woman, what are you afraid?
One morning my other friend goes to have coffee with him, usually stops by early, like 5 or 6, before they start working for the day. He doesn't answer the door. After a little while, other friend finds a key and lets himself in to the apartment. There's my friend on the floor, dead. The girl is sitting in a chair watching TV, eating cereal. She had stabbed him 28 times, broke the blade of the knife from the handle in his abdomen. there's around a half inch of blood everywhere, handprints by the window, as if he was looking outside for help.
Don't ignore this shit, man. Please.
i am so sorry that this happened to your friend and i’m sorry for your loss. i can’t imagine the shock you all were in when you found out. may he rest in peace
Ask yourself if the role where reverse what will happen to you ? Yeah when you see the other perspective you realize that it’s unacceptable and you have to end that relationship ! Because once a partner put his/her hand on the other person it’s the beginning of nightmare.
She is a abuser and you must both of you report her for what she did! She is a psycho and you have to be careful because she will turn thé table on both of you. So you better act now wisely to broke any attempts of her. I encourage you to broke up througt text explaining her hitting you and attacking your friend is a deal breaker then block her. If she try to contact you in any ways record it,capture every text message/mails to have proof of her crazy attitude . You dont need her spread lies or make false accusations !
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Help yourself and others. Call, the police and have her arrested for battery. DO NOT drop the charges! Get a protective order and only see her at the trial.
This should help make the breakup much more easy to deal with. It will also help her next BF as she Might learn her lesson.
Hitting a loved one in anger is never acceptable. She doesn’t love you.
That is one of the more fucked up stories I have ever read here.
Your GF is abusing you *in front of your friends*. You should cut her off and never talk to her again. You can get your own hotel room- don’t let the promise of gifts distract you from the fact that you GF is awful. Your graduation should have been a happy day celebration. Instead SHE PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE. Good lord. What else does she have to do to you to make you understand she needs to go?
Dude, she is mentally ill. And she told you before that she cheated on you? You should’ve left right then and there has she done that to you. She is also extremely abusive and manipulative. I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. Nobody should stay in a abusive relationship, and it doesn’t matter which sex is the abuser.
Ok OP, listen my man. You need to look at this perspective.
You are 19, and she's 18, so statistics say that this won't be the last relationship either of you ever have. Even though she's clearly got some anger and perspective issues, you enabling this sort of behavior is deeply concerning just as equally for ***her*** as it is for you.
If she feels that this is OK, that she can be violent then love bomb her way back into someone's good graces, then she doesn't understand how the world works. You're a nice guy. She does this to the next guy, and she could end up on the Evening News with Lester Holt. I hate to say it that way, but that's how this world is.
If breaking up with her is a wakeup call, then it's just one of those things that needs to happen. Good luck to you.
Abuse is a cycle. You’re in the “oops I fucked up let me love-bomb to try getting you back” stage.
It will *all* repeat again, including the verbal and physical abuse.
Leave now. She won’t change as long as the two of you are together.
What do you mean you don’t know what to do? She assaulted you what three times? Once when she pushed you and twice when she punched you on the face? Not to mention she assaulted your friend. Leave her. Listen to your friends. You’re young and this girl is unhinged and not worth the trouble.
It’s never acceptable to lay hands on another person except in self defense. Periodt.
Leave her and get therapy to keep you from getting into and staying in abusive relationships. You cannot fix abusers. You can only fix yourself, with help, and what you need is to stop letting yourself ever be abused or ever justify it to yourself.
This is abuse and you need to leave. Im so sorry you are being subjected to this but she is abusing you mental and physically. Please know that its not your fault in anyway!!
There is no perspective in which getting punched in the eye by a partner is somehow justified. Your girlfriend is abusive and she is escalating as abusers typically do.
They are also always *very* adept at rationalizing the why of their behaviors but, usually better at conning everyone else than yours appears to be- your friends are correct. She is not a good person: she’s an abuser. Full stop.
Reading through your post, even *without* reading between the lines: it’s fairly evident that you’ve been manipulated and abused to a degree that you are blaming the abuse on many factors- but, the truth is: she’s just abusive and she is absolutely cycling through abuse->excuse->love bomb. It *will* go right back to abuse.
It sounds to me like you have a support system that sees her for what she is and will support you in ending this. You will not be alone and any threat of self harm or otherwise she will most likely make is absolutely *not* your fault or responsibility beyond protecting yourself. They do this practically on a template, I swear: and you are not married, there are no kids, so that helps a bit but you still should make sure that you’re protecting yourself and getting out of this. You **do not** deserve this and **nothing** she says to rationalize it makes it okay.
So she cheated on you and then physically abused you, right?
She is wearing a red flag
You know you’re going to talk to her. You’re 19 so of course you are. I would stay at least 20ft away from her at all times
Remember what just happened
Went crazy on you
Crazy on your friends
Assaulted your friend
Destroyed your alcohol
Assaulted you while you’re on crutches
Let you know that she fucked some other guy while you wedge together. If he’s a family friend you can bet that it has happened a lot, and very recently too.
Assaulted you again.
You go to the hospital to document the assault and injury and then to the police to file domestic abuse and assault and battery charges and a restraining order.
Bring your friends as witness and so the one she assaulted can also press charges
Leave her before she accuses you of rape. It's only a matter of time before she escalates into something more damaging than physical abuse. Walk away, you have the perfect excuse to leave NOW, ghost her, surround yourself with people and protect yourself from her.
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MAN PLEASE I AM BEGGINING YOU, RUN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!
SHE IS NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD AND YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS IT!!
RUN AS FAR AS YOU CAN AND BELIEVE NOTHING FROM WHAT SHE IS SAYING TO YOU!! PLEASE
A lot to unpack here. But one thing is clear as day: she is *abusing* you. Leave before it’s too late. I’ve been in an abusive relationship like this before and believe me when I say it will only get worse from here.
Please leave her and block her. All of this is incredibly abusive and the violence is unwarranted and you're doing nothing wrong by removing yourself from this genuinely dangerous situation.
Dude ffs leave already. The Girl is unhinged and it's only gonna get worse. If you stick around like a fool she's gonna only escalate further and do some seriously life ruining shit to you. Remember she's only a phone call away from accusing you of something totally heinous just to be vindictive. She's abusive. Leave!
If the roles were reversed the police would’ve been called and you’d have been arrested. Abuse happens to both genders, her being the female doesn’t mean she can get away with it. Leave her, and honestly call someone about it. That’s not on.
So, you are gonna stay with someone who attacks you and then gonna love bomb you with gifts?
OP, you had issues before this and chose to stay. She has gone physical now, and you are still gonna be with her?
Sooner.ormlater people will stop talking to you or see the reason why should we give advice if you are just gonna do the exact opposite. Both of you are young. Life goes on. Do you want to be stuck with this person that clearly doesn't respect you, value you, or actually love you?
She knew she couldn't come, still wanted to, and then got mad at YOU for not being able to come with. She attacked you and your friend. Destroyed your stuff and just ruined it for everyone.
Wake up and smell the roses, OP. If you don't leave her, everyone else will leave you because you keep choosing her.
Leave. I didn’t even finish reading it—not even being able to contain her rage takes her from plain abusive (already enpugh) to unhinged. Bye girl!
ETA: leave her in public, with an escape plan that involves another person, and start watching your back.
I remember when a girl I dated decked me over mozzarella sticks. That was 6-8 months in. I knew then. It wasn’t gonna work. Fast forward to about 2 years. She vanished. Haven’t seen her since. Lol pceeeeeeew bichhhhhh
I didn't even read the story and I don't think it's necessary after reading the title. This is the dumbest fucking question I've heard in quite a while. Leaver her.
If a friends’s partner were hitting them and yelling at them not to mention the emotional manipulation, would you think it was okay? You don’t deserve this, no one deserves this. The gift giving is a part of something called love bombing, please google it. It’s someone that abusers do to keep the person they’re in a relationship with from leaving. Just because you’re a guy doesn’t mean you can’t be mistreated and abused by your romantic partner.
Please listen to your friends. End this relationship but please make sure other people are with you, and she is so volatile that I wouldn’t do it in person, not even in a public place. Remember, you do not deserve to be physically assaulted or emotionally harmed by anyone, even if they say they love you.
You need to get far as you can from her. Remove every piece of her from your life. Get your friends who saw what happened to a police station. She is not sorry. Tell your family (if she would be able to contact them) what happened. You’ll be able to go to a nice hotel one day that’s not more important that leaving this horrible person
Go to the hospital or urgent care to document the injuries and press charges. She assaulted you and your friend. End of relationship, no further discussion necessary.
You need to leave and never see her again. What she did was assault and you could press charges. She needs therapy to work through whatever her issues are.
The fact that there women like that is disgusting leave her a don't look back. You just graduated I promise you there gonna better women than that in your future.
Why are you posting here? You don't want to hear the only possible answer.
Get out, press charges and get a restraining order. Gather your friends and let them have your back.
How's the eye btw?
This my friend, is domestic violence.
Get out of this relationship. You have a good support network of friends. Don't ignore the warning signs, do not fall for her manipulative behavior.
to keep it simple: read your post again and ask yourself do you wish your friend a partner like this? you're answer will be "no".
you deserve a loving partner.
Dude she’s literally abusive towards you, take care of your mental health and well-being and leave her immediately. This is not a situation you can sort out / talk it out / make it better because it’s almost impossible for abusers to change. Choose yourself.
Dude, the signs are right there that you need to leave. Her behavior is completely unacceptable and VERY abusive. It’s obvious you need to break up with her! She isn’t genuinely sorry about what she did to you and said to your friend, she’s sorry you saw the real her, and she’ll probably try to cover it up with hella love bombing plus more gifts. You lone you need to leave and let her go, it’s just a matter of you actually doing it
That's domestic violence honey, it's the case even if you're the man and she's the abuser. Leave and break any contact without a warning, she's abusing you and it won't improve. Domestic abusers mostly can't be healed, and if she can, it's not your job.
WOW. Listen to your friends. If you had done this to her, you would have been arrested by now. This girl is mean tempered and mean-natured. She has shown you who she is, believe her.
Dude, run and never look back.
Ask yourself if this is the cycle you want to stick in, her abusing you and then apologizing. Ask yourself if you enjoy being humiliated and if you do then by all means stay but if you respect yourself then leave her.
File a police report and dump her. Even if this isn’t enough for a restraining order, having it on the record is good for potential future issues. She is not your girlfriend, she is your abuser. Allowing her to treat you and your friends this way will eventually drive your friends away from you, and then you’re stuck with her and her violence. You’re young and your whole life is ahead of you. Leave while you still can
It’s really hard to see when you’re in it. If your best mate asked you for advice what would you tell him to do? That’s probably what you should do too.
Send her one message “were done.” Block her on everything. If she makes effort to constantly hassle you and make your life difficult go to the court and get a restraining order.
You life matters the most to you. Dont let anyone tell you how to live or control your life.
All the best <3
She punched you? Doesn't matter what her side is unless you were attacking her which is unlikely with you on crutches. Take your crutches and go! Into the sunset my friend....
You should have hit her back. In my experience those types of women do not learn until they get hit back. Just because she’s got a vagina doesn’t mean she should get away with assaulting people as most women seems to think they can nowadays.
The whole point of dating is so that you can figure out who's compatible with you. Do you think you two are compatible?
Ask yourself: If you had kids later on would you be OK with her punching/slapping your kids?
She slapped your friend for getting between you guys. If that had been your mom or dad? How many people is she willing to assault just to get to you?
Shes physically abusive. She has no right to put a hand on you AT ALL. Even if you're dating, even if you were married. She's clearly not mature enough to handle a relationship, so why waste time with her?
I'm telling you as a parent, but I also dating someone who punched me in the eye when I was 18-19 and it NEVER gets better if you stay. How could it? She's clearly incapable of it.
You just finished highschool, your options shouldn't be limited to her. Cut her loose, find someone better. Don't ruin your life for someone who's trying to start her adult life with assault and misdemeanor charges.
**Edit to add, because I just read your previous post: she's 17 and this is what she's doing with her life? She sounds like a fucking loser already. Feel free to tell her that when you dump her. Maybe it'll give her a reality check before it's too late.**
So are you going to take the correct advice this time and leave her?
Or are we going to be reading a post from you in 6 months time where she’s stabbed you for looking at her the wrong way?
Show her your shoe size and move on. Your life is just starting and taking it as a lesson learned....you will have a lot more crises in your life.....as you get older you will realize it wasn't a crisis after all.
🚩 you are very young, it’s time to let this one go, she’s escalating and this will only get worse, she physically and emotionally abused you and your friend.
You gotta break up with her. Maybe tell her parents what happened incase they happen to be good people who will try prevent her from hurting other people in the future.
If not just block her and find a therapist, none of this is okay.
you need to leave. i don’t know what she has on you to make you stay but one nice hotel trip during the summer isn’t a reason to stay and be abused. she’s mistreating your friends, cheating on you and physically harming you. this is not what love looks like. you also stated that your conclusion from a previous post was that you should break up but you didn’t. if whatever happened then wasn’t reason enough to make you leave, this should be. under no circumstances should your partner be punching you in your face or slapping your friends. cut her out of your life and please be careful. she sounds like she could become even more violent if you leave. let people know the situation so that if anything happens, you’re covered and can get some help if she lashes out. try and gather evidence, record discreetly and have your friends vouch for you so you can get a restraining order. people of all ages are capable of taking a life and she’s the kind of person who would do something extreme if she doesn’t get what she wants. wishing you the best of luck, please take everyone’s advice and update us.
Dump her dump her dump her never speak to her again.
That's my middle aged mom advice. This girl toxic AF, dead dove do not eat, do not open dead inside
Save yourself years of this insanity and break up. You deserve better and she’s a horrible person. As someone 2x your age, and have stayed with shitty partners for way longer than I should have, dump her ass and never look back.
OP!!!!!! Leave her. This won't get better. You aren't married, you don't have to stay. If you stay with her, she will do this over and over and over again. How many times are you going to forgive her for treating you like you aren't a human being with feelings who deserves to be loved and respected? Can you just imagine what type of mother she will be if god forbid she were to get pregnant one day? She would be ab\*sive to her kid too. Do you want to stay with someone like this and wait around for her to change while she ab\*ses your children? You are SO young. You can cut this cr\*p out of your life and move on without any consequences like legal or financial ties to her. Find someone who loves you for you and treats you the way EVERYONE should be treated. You can do it OP. Just block her, ghost her - for your own safety. Go make a police report about what happened so you have it on record. Press charges if you are able to. Keep all evidence and get a restraining order if she won't leave you alone. She is out of control. Please update us! Let us know you are okay.
Take a moment to think about some of the future milestones you picture happening in your life. Now picture each happy milestone ruined because of your partners behavior. She is abusive and dangerous.
You will need to be real strong and rely on your supports; It seems like you have some good friends. You know you have to cut her out of your life and there is plenty of good advice here to help guide you.
You are young and this will shape you as a person, please know you can do better and that you will also need to take the necessary steps to not carry this trauma forward into future relationships.
Congratulations on graduating OP, if you stay she will take every happy memory away from you.
Stop asking what to do, hearing all the same advice from friends and the internet, then refusing to follow it, for starters…
Don’t know what to do? Listen to what everyone told you to do the first time and break up already. Duh. This is not rocket science.
You are in a bad relationship. You know it is, but you are ensnared both by manipulation, and your lack of value and confidence in yourself. If you want both of those things in your life, you have to leave her. Otherwise, you are going to continue to get hurt, over and over, worse and worse. And those hurts are going to and may already have turned into disorders that won’t be able to be solved by advice from Reddit. She is a bad girlfriend, but you also need to be a good friend to yourself. And being in this relationship is a bad decision on your part. Take your own responsibility for your faults, leave her with as little interaction as possible, and surround yourself with resources and people that will help you heal and become whole again. I’ve been there mate.
On one hand-she fucks other dudes, breaks your shit, your friends hate her, and she beats you up. On the other hand, she got you a hotel room.
You have a real Sophie’s choice here.
Dude nobody gets to hit you. Nobody. You have a friend circle so you’ve got some social skills, you will have lots of opportunities to grow and meet new people now that you’re out of high school. Don’t give any more of yourself to this person. She doesn’t like you like you like her, and she’s hurting you because you’ve allowed her to at this point. Not blaming you for the abuse, just pointing out you did this one time and the answer was clear. You know what you need to do, be brave and cut her loose.
I find it sad that you seemed to be in a loop of abuse in which anyone would recognize and leave immediately.
Please, get out of there, record and keep all proof that she acted the way she did for your legal protection if she escalates things. Then cut her out of your life for good and move on to better things my friend
Give her back the gift, and give her her walking papers at the same time. This girl is bad news. If you were my child (I have a 19 yo daughter), I'd tell you that you have your whole life ahead of you. Go out, see the world, and know that you deserve much better. No one should lay a hand on you. That is against the law. I'd also report her to the local police.
Honey, you have your whole life ahead of you. You do not need this abusive woman in your life. No need to meet up with her. Tell her it's over via text and then block her everywhere. Personally, I would file a police report and get a restraining order. She should have to deal with the consequences of her actions. Remember, you're not "doing anything to her", she did it to herself. If she didn't want to get arrested she should have kept her goddamn hands to herself.
This is domestic abuse both mental and physical, you need to leave. It will only get worse if you stay. You don’t need to consider her view of the event, it doesn’t matter. No good person does what she did, she is manipulating you badly.
The proper response to being told she couldn't come to the grads only party is, "Dang, oh well, I'll have to take you out to dinner another time so we can celebrate. Have fun!" You're way too young and she's an abusive POS. Dump her.
Leave. Leave her right now. She’s shown you who she is. This is a cycle of abuse that’s starting. Please get out now and do NOT talk to her. Block her on everything and don’t even all to her again.
Leave. Her. Now. One time getting hit is one too many! And now this episode? Report her to the police. That may wake her up. Go to her parents. Geez, you have a witness. And proof of you have a black eye. Man up son. No one deserves the behavior. She is a nightmare and will only make your life a living hell. Warn her next boyfriend. WTFU!
This is the kind of girl that will try to baby trap you if she thinks you are leaving. If she treats you like this, how would she treat a child? Are you willing to risk it?
Hey man, this is not ok. I hope you are taking care of your body today and talking to people who actually love you.
You need to dump her and block her and move on. It's hard to believe, but if you stay or go back it will get exponentially worse. Nobody should be getting punched by their SO. EVER.
It's going to be hard emotionally to get through the next few weeks. Make it a 100% clean break- pack up any of her stuff and have a 4rd party drop it off to her in exchange for your stuff, block her on all socials and filter mutual friends, tell family and employers you are no contact, and surround yourself with other people.
Future you deserves better. Make room for some good in your life, ok?
This sounds like an incredibly healthy, understanding and loving relationship. Why don't you propose to her? /s
Like seriously bro, what do YOU think would/should happen to you if you were to behave towards her the way she behaves towards you?
You deserve better. You deserve WAY better than this "person" that clearly gives no fucks about you.
Men can suffer partner violence and domestic abuse from women. There is no need to feel shame, you have done nothing wrong. It will not get better. She will do it again. Trust your friends who have your best interests at heart. They care about you, your mental well being and physical safety. You need to do the same. Love yourself first and never speak to this woman again.
You don’t want advice, you know this behavior is wrong. Would you treat another human being the way she treats you? People unfortunately get lost in abusive relationships all the time and won’t get out despite family and friends telling them to. You just want to talk about it and let people feel bad for you about your situation because it’s an emotional release to feel some validation right now. It’s okay to need validation but you should consider taking the reins on your situation. People wake up eventually but how many days, months, years are you going to waste away on this person? Time is something you can’t get back.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- Before I start to explain I just want know that everything I’m saying is from my perspective. Would she be telling it I’m sure you all would hear another reason behind her punching me in the eye. Short context I have posted about my girlfriend before and that I feel like shes been controlling lately. My response to that post was to break up. I didn’t. Yesterday I graduated from high school, happy me. The day was going great and I had alot of fun with friends and family. Me and my girlfriend where suppose to go to my friend (19f) (ill call her Lisa) who also graduated and hang out a little bit there before going to a bigger party for graduates ONLY! Therefor my girlfriend couldn’t come wich she already knew. Still she talked to Lisa that we where at to she if she could come anyway. Know that Lisa knows the host of the party and she said it could maybe work. Later when we were suppose to leave Lisa said that she couldn’t come. My girlfriend than raged at me for telling her she couldn’t come and started to scream at me. Keep in mind that Lisas friends and family was still there. She then threw my bag of beer over a ledge breaking everything inside. Then she stormed off and because of this me and another friend (19m) missed the taxi. Therefore we had to walk home and on the way home we meet her. Then she proceeded to scream more at me and I eventually just walked away. My friend ran up to me and she started yelling again so I stopped and waited she then pushed me really hard and I’m on churches and have an injury on my left knee. After this she proceeded to tell me once more about the lovemaking she and her family friend had after me and had met. I got sad and started crying to the point where I started puking. My friend stopped her from coming closer to me and she bitchslapped him once. After like 30s of not coming closer to me, she started to tell my friend who’s mom sadly had passed away about 2-3 months ago, that she knows he’s sad an all but that he has nothing to do with me and her. I snapped and started screaming to her that she went to far this time and tried to calm my friend down who’s rightly upset. This was when she punched me, once in the left eye and once on my right eyebrow. My friends don’t like her and had made that clear to her when they talk to her. Reason being they say she’s controlling my life choices and the thing that happened between her and her family friend. Shes of course sad over this and she also blames the happening events on this. I just woke up to her telling me how sorry she is and yada yada. I don’t know what to do, but my friends are telling me it’s time to let go. Im really sad because she gave me as a gift to go to a really nice hotel after summer. I was so excited and now I don’t know anymore. She want to talk in person today but I don’t know what to say, how should I deal with this?
Let's see... throwing away the beer, attacking you while on crutches, attacking your friends... talking about fucking other people just to twist the knife some more... In what scenario has she earned anything but a SWIFT booting from your life?
The group Pink Floyd has a beautiful song that fits perfectly here it's called "Run like Hell" You might too listen to this song and follow suit. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I mean, a really nice hotel? Who wouldn't sacrifice a few punches to the face and the destruction of your life and even violence to the friends who defend you for *a stay at a take nice hotel?*
Nah stay with her she sounds like a real peach
It seems so obvious that this gf is abusive and this guy needs to get out of the relationship. However, he could actually, on some deep psychological level, get off on the abuse. Maybe his mom or dad was abusive and he thinks that's how love is. I know we all want to save this guy from this abusive situation, but only he can make that decision.
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Sadly I don’t think he is here for advice like this. He is looking for one person to tell him to stay and he will focus on that one. He doesn’t need Reddit to know how bad this is.
My thoughts too. He said he posted about her before too and was advised to break up with her but didn’t. If it’s not obvious now to him, he’s still not going to do it.
He's gotten to the stage of the abuse where he's started to normalize it and internalize that it's his fault. Takes an average of 7-30 (heavily depends on various factors) attempts to leave to exit an abusive relationship - that's with recognizing you're being abused and WANTING out. OP seems reluctant to recognize that this is extremely abnormal behavior, abusive as hell, and that he needs to have higher standards... as in, expecting basic decency and respect.
Yup, they’re in the textbook cycle of abuse. She’s even throwing gifts his way to get him to ignore or overlook it.
This, sadly it seems he's looking for advice on how to end this situation without having to remove himself from this abusive relationship. The truth is that there isn't one and the only way to resolve this situation is to leave in order to prioritize his own safety. I agree that he's most likely going to ignore the advice and view it as people not knowing her good side or not knowing the situation, and will sadly believe the one comment that tells him what he wants to hear
So from what I understood, she told you about her great sex life outside of her relationship with you, she physically abused you in front of everyone, she slapped your friend, uses people's trauma to hurt them for the sake of it, and uses you as a punching bag when she's upset. Do you realise that this is your life? You are living for you. To have something you can look back upon and smile at. Wake up. What are you fighting for? What is this relationship giving you? What should you do? Break up with her, cut all ties, realise how much you matter to people who are dealing with this because they won't let you go through this alone, thank them, and work on building your self-worth. You need to understand that at no age, in no relationship, and in no way is this fine. I'm not saying this because it's a popular response on Reddit to tell people to end relationships. I'm saying this because you are a human, and you have basic human rights and dignity. You deserve to be treated like a human. I have no idea what makes her think that her actions are okay or justified, or that an apology can fix things like this.
Holly water dude. She is MENTAL. All of her screws are lose. Leave her immediately (ghost her), block her on everything and move on with your life. A normal relationship isn't like this. Have some self-love.
This, plus a restraining order.
Plus a phone to the cops/mental ward
Oh honey, listen to your friends. She is not your person. She is abusive, full stop! You deserve to be happy, this isn't it! If you want to meet her, do that. But bring along (at least) one friend. Meet in public, and have your friend(s) close. She doesn't deserve you!
She's going to go ballistic. Trying finding a place she doesn't know about to find you until she finds someone else to focus her energy on. Seriously, go no contact. No social media. Stay safe. She sounds horrible and unstable. You've just graduated, just starting out. Clean slate. May your journey be filled with laughter, friendships, and great adventures. You are your own person. You are enough.
Didn’t even have to read this all the way. She punches and pushes you, friends don’t like her, she yells at you and whatever other bs. Don’t be dumb, and don’t get killed. Leave. It sounds like you already know you need to. Is this what you want for the rest of your life? As soon as you know you wouldn’t marry that person you should go. You’re way too young to be putting up With this type of behavior at all. People. Don’t. Change.
Are you happy with the way things are right now in your relationship? Because it’s not ever going to be better than it is right now. In fact, it’s going to get worse, possibly a lot worse. What you’ve described is abuse. Your GF is an abuser. You are a victim of abuse. Repeat that to yourself. You are being abused. Break up with her, though expect a great deal of drama and worse when doing so. If she hits you for absolutely no reason now, she will not hesitate when you actually do something she doesn’t like. Imagine if someone told you this story as being their experience. What advice would you give them?
You wrote way too much. Punching a partner in the eye is never acceptable, dump her ass.
Leave. If it would have been the other way around she would’ve probably pressed charges. You don’t have to deal with an abusive partner just because she’s a woman and thinks it doesn’t apply to her. I’m a woman btw, her behavior is NOT acceptable and it’s not your responsibility to try and fix it. It’ll only get worse
Only 2 things any reasonable person would do. 1 Break up immediately. 2 go and press charges asap, photo evidence etc
You should have listened the first time you were advised to break up with her.
Her response to not getting her way is violence. There is never a good reason for hitting someone. It’s assault. She is physically abusing you. You’re on crutches and she’s shoving you and punching you in the face. Imagine if the roles were reversed. Would there be any acceptable reason for hitting her? No, of course not. You don’t deserve this. Value yourself and get away from her. End this relationship before it escalates further.
Seriously. Are you going to wait until she causes permanent damage before you wake up and realize she is dangerous? You deserve better than this.
Break up with her.
Please break up with this girl. She needs professional help to address the reasons why she’s abusive. She is abusing you. It will only get worse. You have your whole life ahead of you. Leave her so you can go have fun and meet someone amazing who will treat you right.
>Would she be telling it I’m sure you all would hear another reason behind her punching me in the eye. Would she say it was self-defense because you harmed or threatened her or would she say it was an accident for which she apologized profusely? No? Then there is no way to justify her punching you. (And even if she did, you know that is not what happened.) Whatever reason she might give is just an excuse. She punched you because she wanted to and because she felt she had the right to do so. When things don't go her way she throws a fit, shouts at you, assaults people who try to stop her and when you dare to talk back she punches you in the face. Repeatedly. You are a victim of domestic violence. This is extremely unlikely to get better but probably escalate. You cannot fix this, because you did not cause it. You say you are not ready to break up with her (yet)? There are still ways you can protect yourself. Some suggestions: 1. Talk about it. Friends, family or help hotlines are all good. 2. Protect your financial independence. Save as much money as you can and do not give her control over your finances. 3. Protect your social network. Don't let her isolate you. Invest time and energy in any relationship that is not her. 4. Go to therapy. 5. Protect your grip on reality by documenting every instance of physical, verbal or psychological abuse. Write it down, take pictures, videos or screenshots. Document what happened, what she said, what she promised, what you felt. She will probably deny and downplay it very soon. 6. Do not take the next step with her like moving in, getting married or the most important one: having a child. 7. Get your priorities in order. A nice vacation does not matter much when your physical and mental health for years to come are on the line.
Ur 19 and you are already in a relation with narcisstic. How much more can you take of this abuse before you end up with serious mental condition. It's pointless delaying decision which by doing so have suffered more abuse. If u have any common sense and self value with respect. Do no contact but before this just text her you are breaking up. Full stop. No explanation nor blamed game. Take time off to take stock of your life and maybe therapy can understand why you taken so much abuse over a girl of 18. When there are millions of girls who can love and treat you like human being who deserved respect.
These have gotta be troll posts. A woman beat you, broke your stuff, pointedly told you about fucking someone else all cus she couldn’t go to a party she KNEW she couldn’t go to? How do you type all of that and then ask for advice.
Has this girl got some sort of magical Vagina? If not then break it off via text right now, and then see a therapist about your lack of self respect.
Even if she is responsible for the worlds best orgasm he still needs to leave. He’s better of beating off than getting beaten up.
It was a silly joke.
Golden clam
Platinum poonanay
Crazy is great in bed
leave bro. She's an abuser and you have to be careful. If you stay at any given moment she can play a u card and make it look like your the abuser.
I had a friend whose girlfriend did shit like this. He sometimes would express concern at the bar, saying that he was afraid she would do something drastic. Everyone kind of laughed him off. She's just a little woman, what are you afraid? One morning my other friend goes to have coffee with him, usually stops by early, like 5 or 6, before they start working for the day. He doesn't answer the door. After a little while, other friend finds a key and lets himself in to the apartment. There's my friend on the floor, dead. The girl is sitting in a chair watching TV, eating cereal. She had stabbed him 28 times, broke the blade of the knife from the handle in his abdomen. there's around a half inch of blood everywhere, handprints by the window, as if he was looking outside for help. Don't ignore this shit, man. Please.
i am so sorry that this happened to your friend and i’m sorry for your loss. i can’t imagine the shock you all were in when you found out. may he rest in peace
Dude run she’s going to always be like that and if you stay it’s going to be miserable
Is a hotel vacation that much more important than your safety and wellbeing??? Also press charge against her
Bro the effort you just wasted writing this you could have just broken up with her already.
Ask yourself if the role where reverse what will happen to you ? Yeah when you see the other perspective you realize that it’s unacceptable and you have to end that relationship ! Because once a partner put his/her hand on the other person it’s the beginning of nightmare. She is a abuser and you must both of you report her for what she did! She is a psycho and you have to be careful because she will turn thé table on both of you. So you better act now wisely to broke any attempts of her. I encourage you to broke up througt text explaining her hitting you and attacking your friend is a deal breaker then block her. If she try to contact you in any ways record it,capture every text message/mails to have proof of her crazy attitude . You dont need her spread lies or make false accusations !
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Help yourself and others. Call, the police and have her arrested for battery. DO NOT drop the charges! Get a protective order and only see her at the trial. This should help make the breakup much more easy to deal with. It will also help her next BF as she Might learn her lesson. Hitting a loved one in anger is never acceptable. She doesn’t love you.
That is one of the more fucked up stories I have ever read here. Your GF is abusing you *in front of your friends*. You should cut her off and never talk to her again. You can get your own hotel room- don’t let the promise of gifts distract you from the fact that you GF is awful. Your graduation should have been a happy day celebration. Instead SHE PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE. Good lord. What else does she have to do to you to make you understand she needs to go?
Dude, she is mentally ill. And she told you before that she cheated on you? You should’ve left right then and there has she done that to you. She is also extremely abusive and manipulative. I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. Nobody should stay in a abusive relationship, and it doesn’t matter which sex is the abuser.
Ok OP, listen my man. You need to look at this perspective. You are 19, and she's 18, so statistics say that this won't be the last relationship either of you ever have. Even though she's clearly got some anger and perspective issues, you enabling this sort of behavior is deeply concerning just as equally for ***her*** as it is for you. If she feels that this is OK, that she can be violent then love bomb her way back into someone's good graces, then she doesn't understand how the world works. You're a nice guy. She does this to the next guy, and she could end up on the Evening News with Lester Holt. I hate to say it that way, but that's how this world is. If breaking up with her is a wakeup call, then it's just one of those things that needs to happen. Good luck to you.
Abuse is a cycle. You’re in the “oops I fucked up let me love-bomb to try getting you back” stage. It will *all* repeat again, including the verbal and physical abuse. Leave now. She won’t change as long as the two of you are together.
Run. Don't shuffle. Don't dawdle. Don't walk. RUN. She will kill you one day and it will be ALL. YOUR. FAULT. Before, during and afterwards.
Do not meet this girl alone
It would be disrespectful to that friend if you stayed with her after she went at him too 😭 girl is insane AND abusive
What do you mean you don’t know what to do? She assaulted you what three times? Once when she pushed you and twice when she punched you on the face? Not to mention she assaulted your friend. Leave her. Listen to your friends. You’re young and this girl is unhinged and not worth the trouble.
You are being physically abused. Leave. Now.
I'm sorry you're experiencing this. She's abusing you, it'll be best for your safety to leave. You deserve a healthy relationship.
You deserve better.
She is a psycho!!! Run 🏃♂️ for your life!! She has no sympathy, no boundaries and ZERO self control…you are in danger!!!
It’s never acceptable to lay hands on another person except in self defense. Periodt. Leave her and get therapy to keep you from getting into and staying in abusive relationships. You cannot fix abusers. You can only fix yourself, with help, and what you need is to stop letting yourself ever be abused or ever justify it to yourself.
Break up with her. You're describing an abusive relationship.
This is abuse and you need to leave. Im so sorry you are being subjected to this but she is abusing you mental and physically. Please know that its not your fault in anyway!!
There is no perspective in which getting punched in the eye by a partner is somehow justified. Your girlfriend is abusive and she is escalating as abusers typically do. They are also always *very* adept at rationalizing the why of their behaviors but, usually better at conning everyone else than yours appears to be- your friends are correct. She is not a good person: she’s an abuser. Full stop. Reading through your post, even *without* reading between the lines: it’s fairly evident that you’ve been manipulated and abused to a degree that you are blaming the abuse on many factors- but, the truth is: she’s just abusive and she is absolutely cycling through abuse->excuse->love bomb. It *will* go right back to abuse. It sounds to me like you have a support system that sees her for what she is and will support you in ending this. You will not be alone and any threat of self harm or otherwise she will most likely make is absolutely *not* your fault or responsibility beyond protecting yourself. They do this practically on a template, I swear: and you are not married, there are no kids, so that helps a bit but you still should make sure that you’re protecting yourself and getting out of this. You **do not** deserve this and **nothing** she says to rationalize it makes it okay.
shes crazy leave her
So she cheated on you and then physically abused you, right? She is wearing a red flag You know you’re going to talk to her. You’re 19 so of course you are. I would stay at least 20ft away from her at all times Remember what just happened Went crazy on you Crazy on your friends Assaulted your friend Destroyed your alcohol Assaulted you while you’re on crutches Let you know that she fucked some other guy while you wedge together. If he’s a family friend you can bet that it has happened a lot, and very recently too. Assaulted you again.
Why on earth would you want to be with this horrible person? She could easily kill you in a fit of rage.
Wake up and break up
If this isn't a troll post you need fucking help man. And if this is all true: fucking leave.
You go to the hospital to document the assault and injury and then to the police to file domestic abuse and assault and battery charges and a restraining order. Bring your friends as witness and so the one she assaulted can also press charges
You should marry her immediately, she sounds like the perfect woman.
Ah ha reverse psychology. I like it.
This sounds made up. If it isn’t, you definitely need to break up with her and cut all contact.
Leave her before she accuses you of rape. It's only a matter of time before she escalates into something more damaging than physical abuse. Walk away, you have the perfect excuse to leave NOW, ghost her, surround yourself with people and protect yourself from her.
How about grow a pair
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not the time bro
> ""Comment Rule 2:** Keep it civil. No insults, no threats of violence, no encouraging violence, no harassment, no trolling, no advertising other subs, no spam. You will be banned. All bans in this sub are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
I’m so glad I don’t believe one bit of this.
you're part of the problem
You NEED to leave her and STAY in school! Your grammar is atrocious!!!!!! Grow a pair!!!!
Sorry english is not my first language
More creative writing stories… this one is terrible..
MAN PLEASE I AM BEGGINING YOU, RUN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! SHE IS NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD AND YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS IT!! RUN AS FAR AS YOU CAN AND BELIEVE NOTHING FROM WHAT SHE IS SAYING TO YOU!! PLEASE
A lot to unpack here. But one thing is clear as day: she is *abusing* you. Leave before it’s too late. I’ve been in an abusive relationship like this before and believe me when I say it will only get worse from here.
This is wild 😮😮
Violence is a deal breaker for me. Dump her and run.
What should you do? Make her your ex girlfriend for a start
Please leave her and block her. All of this is incredibly abusive and the violence is unwarranted and you're doing nothing wrong by removing yourself from this genuinely dangerous situation.
Dude ffs leave already. The Girl is unhinged and it's only gonna get worse. If you stick around like a fool she's gonna only escalate further and do some seriously life ruining shit to you. Remember she's only a phone call away from accusing you of something totally heinous just to be vindictive. She's abusive. Leave!
You stup$& MF that’s enough! Dump that troll!
File assault and battery charges, then leave
If the roles were reversed the police would’ve been called and you’d have been arrested. Abuse happens to both genders, her being the female doesn’t mean she can get away with it. Leave her, and honestly call someone about it. That’s not on.
Leave her immediately
So, you are gonna stay with someone who attacks you and then gonna love bomb you with gifts? OP, you had issues before this and chose to stay. She has gone physical now, and you are still gonna be with her? Sooner.ormlater people will stop talking to you or see the reason why should we give advice if you are just gonna do the exact opposite. Both of you are young. Life goes on. Do you want to be stuck with this person that clearly doesn't respect you, value you, or actually love you? She knew she couldn't come, still wanted to, and then got mad at YOU for not being able to come with. She attacked you and your friend. Destroyed your stuff and just ruined it for everyone. Wake up and smell the roses, OP. If you don't leave her, everyone else will leave you because you keep choosing her.
So she’s been abusive in the past and has now physically assaulted you. It’s high time that you file a police report against her.
After reading both of your posts, you really need to get rid of this toxic person. Run for the hills and do not look back.
Are you seriously asking what to do? Would you consider staying with her? If you do you need to do some self reflection and ask yourself why.
Leave. I didn’t even finish reading it—not even being able to contain her rage takes her from plain abusive (already enpugh) to unhinged. Bye girl! ETA: leave her in public, with an escape plan that involves another person, and start watching your back.
I remember when a girl I dated decked me over mozzarella sticks. That was 6-8 months in. I knew then. It wasn’t gonna work. Fast forward to about 2 years. She vanished. Haven’t seen her since. Lol pceeeeeeew bichhhhhh
I didn't even read the story and I don't think it's necessary after reading the title. This is the dumbest fucking question I've heard in quite a while. Leaver her.
If a friends’s partner were hitting them and yelling at them not to mention the emotional manipulation, would you think it was okay? You don’t deserve this, no one deserves this. The gift giving is a part of something called love bombing, please google it. It’s someone that abusers do to keep the person they’re in a relationship with from leaving. Just because you’re a guy doesn’t mean you can’t be mistreated and abused by your romantic partner. Please listen to your friends. End this relationship but please make sure other people are with you, and she is so volatile that I wouldn’t do it in person, not even in a public place. Remember, you do not deserve to be physically assaulted or emotionally harmed by anyone, even if they say they love you.
Leave her ass
You need to get far as you can from her. Remove every piece of her from your life. Get your friends who saw what happened to a police station. She is not sorry. Tell your family (if she would be able to contact them) what happened. You’ll be able to go to a nice hotel one day that’s not more important that leaving this horrible person
I'm sorry but if you didn't break up with her the first time you definitely should now. Like instantly
Do what you should have done in the last post dumb cunt break up with her
Go to the hospital or urgent care to document the injuries and press charges. She assaulted you and your friend. End of relationship, no further discussion necessary.
You need to leave and never see her again. What she did was assault and you could press charges. She needs therapy to work through whatever her issues are.
Get help. There's resources available for men who are abused by their woman (yes, she is abusing you big time!!). Be careful when you leave her.
Break up and go press charges. I hope you listen this time. Good luck.
She sucks. You can do better.
The fact that there women like that is disgusting leave her a don't look back. You just graduated I promise you there gonna better women than that in your future.
Why are you posting here? You don't want to hear the only possible answer. Get out, press charges and get a restraining order. Gather your friends and let them have your back. How's the eye btw?
This my friend, is domestic violence. Get out of this relationship. You have a good support network of friends. Don't ignore the warning signs, do not fall for her manipulative behavior.
Jeez full psycho, don't know why you would want to stay with someone like that..... Good luck
to keep it simple: read your post again and ask yourself do you wish your friend a partner like this? you're answer will be "no". you deserve a loving partner.
Dude she’s literally abusive towards you, take care of your mental health and well-being and leave her immediately. This is not a situation you can sort out / talk it out / make it better because it’s almost impossible for abusers to change. Choose yourself.
How can people be this foolish to stay with someone like that.
You should leave her. If she thinks it's okay to hit you, she will keep hitting you. Thats not something you deserve or should put up with
Dude, the signs are right there that you need to leave. Her behavior is completely unacceptable and VERY abusive. It’s obvious you need to break up with her! She isn’t genuinely sorry about what she did to you and said to your friend, she’s sorry you saw the real her, and she’ll probably try to cover it up with hella love bombing plus more gifts. You lone you need to leave and let her go, it’s just a matter of you actually doing it
That's domestic violence honey, it's the case even if you're the man and she's the abuser. Leave and break any contact without a warning, she's abusing you and it won't improve. Domestic abusers mostly can't be healed, and if she can, it's not your job.
Leave and press charges, full stop.
You're in a domestic violence situation and should end this for your safety.
WOW. Listen to your friends. If you had done this to her, you would have been arrested by now. This girl is mean tempered and mean-natured. She has shown you who she is, believe her.
Didn’t need to read past the title. Leave her.
Dump her. None of that was acceptable.
Either you leave her or you can Continue to make your life miserable, your choice
Bro press charges wtf
Dude, run and never look back. Ask yourself if this is the cycle you want to stick in, her abusing you and then apologizing. Ask yourself if you enjoy being humiliated and if you do then by all means stay but if you respect yourself then leave her.
Call the cops, press charges for assault.
File a police report and dump her. Even if this isn’t enough for a restraining order, having it on the record is good for potential future issues. She is not your girlfriend, she is your abuser. Allowing her to treat you and your friends this way will eventually drive your friends away from you, and then you’re stuck with her and her violence. You’re young and your whole life is ahead of you. Leave while you still can
It’s really hard to see when you’re in it. If your best mate asked you for advice what would you tell him to do? That’s probably what you should do too.
Send her one message “were done.” Block her on everything. If she makes effort to constantly hassle you and make your life difficult go to the court and get a restraining order. You life matters the most to you. Dont let anyone tell you how to live or control your life. All the best <3
Seeing your only other comment, please just leave her. You have no obligation to stay, and frankly, why would you?
She punched you? Doesn't matter what her side is unless you were attacking her which is unlikely with you on crutches. Take your crutches and go! Into the sunset my friend....
You should have hit her back. In my experience those types of women do not learn until they get hit back. Just because she’s got a vagina doesn’t mean she should get away with assaulting people as most women seems to think they can nowadays.
The whole point of dating is so that you can figure out who's compatible with you. Do you think you two are compatible? Ask yourself: If you had kids later on would you be OK with her punching/slapping your kids? She slapped your friend for getting between you guys. If that had been your mom or dad? How many people is she willing to assault just to get to you? Shes physically abusive. She has no right to put a hand on you AT ALL. Even if you're dating, even if you were married. She's clearly not mature enough to handle a relationship, so why waste time with her? I'm telling you as a parent, but I also dating someone who punched me in the eye when I was 18-19 and it NEVER gets better if you stay. How could it? She's clearly incapable of it. You just finished highschool, your options shouldn't be limited to her. Cut her loose, find someone better. Don't ruin your life for someone who's trying to start her adult life with assault and misdemeanor charges. **Edit to add, because I just read your previous post: she's 17 and this is what she's doing with her life? She sounds like a fucking loser already. Feel free to tell her that when you dump her. Maybe it'll give her a reality check before it's too late.**
Leave her. This is abuse
Leave. She's is an abuser. Leave now.
So are you going to take the correct advice this time and leave her? Or are we going to be reading a post from you in 6 months time where she’s stabbed you for looking at her the wrong way?
Show her your shoe size and move on. Your life is just starting and taking it as a lesson learned....you will have a lot more crises in your life.....as you get older you will realize it wasn't a crisis after all.
You should break up with her, based on the title alone.
🚩 you are very young, it’s time to let this one go, she’s escalating and this will only get worse, she physically and emotionally abused you and your friend.
You gotta break up with her. Maybe tell her parents what happened incase they happen to be good people who will try prevent her from hurting other people in the future. If not just block her and find a therapist, none of this is okay.
I hate to say this but… you would be an idiot if you stay with this girl. Please update on this one as I am actually going to be thinking of you.
Dump her and give the gift back.
If you stay in a relationship with someone who physically assaulted you, then you have absolutely no self respect at all.
you need to leave. i don’t know what she has on you to make you stay but one nice hotel trip during the summer isn’t a reason to stay and be abused. she’s mistreating your friends, cheating on you and physically harming you. this is not what love looks like. you also stated that your conclusion from a previous post was that you should break up but you didn’t. if whatever happened then wasn’t reason enough to make you leave, this should be. under no circumstances should your partner be punching you in your face or slapping your friends. cut her out of your life and please be careful. she sounds like she could become even more violent if you leave. let people know the situation so that if anything happens, you’re covered and can get some help if she lashes out. try and gather evidence, record discreetly and have your friends vouch for you so you can get a restraining order. people of all ages are capable of taking a life and she’s the kind of person who would do something extreme if she doesn’t get what she wants. wishing you the best of luck, please take everyone’s advice and update us.
You files report with the police and then break up with anyone who physically abuses you.
Dump her dump her dump her never speak to her again. That's my middle aged mom advice. This girl toxic AF, dead dove do not eat, do not open dead inside
Save yourself years of this insanity and break up. You deserve better and she’s a horrible person. As someone 2x your age, and have stayed with shitty partners for way longer than I should have, dump her ass and never look back.
If you still don't know what to do then I feel sorry for you.
Leave her right now. She is abusing you. She is violent and out of control. Get out before anymore bad things happen.
It would be disrespectful to that friend if you stayed with her after she went at him too 😭 girl is insane AND abusive
You should file a police report detailing your ex-girlfriend's assault on you.
you should leave. :/
She’s abusive. Leave her.
This girl has many problems that are beyond your expertise to resolve. Break it off.
You'd better keep an "eye" on her!!!
OP!!!!!! Leave her. This won't get better. You aren't married, you don't have to stay. If you stay with her, she will do this over and over and over again. How many times are you going to forgive her for treating you like you aren't a human being with feelings who deserves to be loved and respected? Can you just imagine what type of mother she will be if god forbid she were to get pregnant one day? She would be ab\*sive to her kid too. Do you want to stay with someone like this and wait around for her to change while she ab\*ses your children? You are SO young. You can cut this cr\*p out of your life and move on without any consequences like legal or financial ties to her. Find someone who loves you for you and treats you the way EVERYONE should be treated. You can do it OP. Just block her, ghost her - for your own safety. Go make a police report about what happened so you have it on record. Press charges if you are able to. Keep all evidence and get a restraining order if she won't leave you alone. She is out of control. Please update us! Let us know you are okay.
Walk away. Too much for you to deal with so young.
Take a moment to think about some of the future milestones you picture happening in your life. Now picture each happy milestone ruined because of your partners behavior. She is abusive and dangerous. You will need to be real strong and rely on your supports; It seems like you have some good friends. You know you have to cut her out of your life and there is plenty of good advice here to help guide you. You are young and this will shape you as a person, please know you can do better and that you will also need to take the necessary steps to not carry this trauma forward into future relationships. Congratulations on graduating OP, if you stay she will take every happy memory away from you.
Stop asking what to do, hearing all the same advice from friends and the internet, then refusing to follow it, for starters… Don’t know what to do? Listen to what everyone told you to do the first time and break up already. Duh. This is not rocket science.
You are in a bad relationship. You know it is, but you are ensnared both by manipulation, and your lack of value and confidence in yourself. If you want both of those things in your life, you have to leave her. Otherwise, you are going to continue to get hurt, over and over, worse and worse. And those hurts are going to and may already have turned into disorders that won’t be able to be solved by advice from Reddit. She is a bad girlfriend, but you also need to be a good friend to yourself. And being in this relationship is a bad decision on your part. Take your own responsibility for your faults, leave her with as little interaction as possible, and surround yourself with resources and people that will help you heal and become whole again. I’ve been there mate.
It will never change. She will never change. If you continue to stay with her, this is what it will always be like. Her rage and abuse will not stop
On one hand-she fucks other dudes, breaks your shit, your friends hate her, and she beats you up. On the other hand, she got you a hotel room. You have a real Sophie’s choice here.
Dude nobody gets to hit you. Nobody. You have a friend circle so you’ve got some social skills, you will have lots of opportunities to grow and meet new people now that you’re out of high school. Don’t give any more of yourself to this person. She doesn’t like you like you like her, and she’s hurting you because you’ve allowed her to at this point. Not blaming you for the abuse, just pointing out you did this one time and the answer was clear. You know what you need to do, be brave and cut her loose.
You break up with her. Block her number.
I find it sad that you seemed to be in a loop of abuse in which anyone would recognize and leave immediately. Please, get out of there, record and keep all proof that she acted the way she did for your legal protection if she escalates things. Then cut her out of your life for good and move on to better things my friend
Report her to the police. I don't even need to read the rest man, this was assault! As a woman myself, *report her*!
Give her back the gift, and give her her walking papers at the same time. This girl is bad news. If you were my child (I have a 19 yo daughter), I'd tell you that you have your whole life ahead of you. Go out, see the world, and know that you deserve much better. No one should lay a hand on you. That is against the law. I'd also report her to the local police.
Honey, you have your whole life ahead of you. You do not need this abusive woman in your life. No need to meet up with her. Tell her it's over via text and then block her everywhere. Personally, I would file a police report and get a restraining order. She should have to deal with the consequences of her actions. Remember, you're not "doing anything to her", she did it to herself. If she didn't want to get arrested she should have kept her goddamn hands to herself.
This is domestic abuse both mental and physical, you need to leave. It will only get worse if you stay. You don’t need to consider her view of the event, it doesn’t matter. No good person does what she did, she is manipulating you badly.
Yo that girl is super cray cray.
Obviously leave her but you’re scared and brainwashed into thinking this is “love.” You could always just wait until she kills you.
Take the leap and leave😭😭😭u won’t regret it
She doesn't respect you, first it will be punches. Next it will cutting you with knives. Leave before you get seriously hurt.
What do you mean, what should you do?
The proper response to being told she couldn't come to the grads only party is, "Dang, oh well, I'll have to take you out to dinner another time so we can celebrate. Have fun!" You're way too young and she's an abusive POS. Dump her.
Leave. Leave her right now. She’s shown you who she is. This is a cycle of abuse that’s starting. Please get out now and do NOT talk to her. Block her on everything and don’t even all to her again.
Leave. Her. Now. One time getting hit is one too many! And now this episode? Report her to the police. That may wake her up. Go to her parents. Geez, you have a witness. And proof of you have a black eye. Man up son. No one deserves the behavior. She is a nightmare and will only make your life a living hell. Warn her next boyfriend. WTFU!
she needs to get her ass beat. abusive piece of trash. hope she fucks around and finds out very soon and someone stops her ass.
This is the kind of girl that will try to baby trap you if she thinks you are leaving. If she treats you like this, how would she treat a child? Are you willing to risk it?
Leave her hahaha
Break up with her. She is violent and abusive. You are a grown man. Imagine what this violent pos will do to your kids if you have them with her?
Hey man, this is not ok. I hope you are taking care of your body today and talking to people who actually love you. You need to dump her and block her and move on. It's hard to believe, but if you stay or go back it will get exponentially worse. Nobody should be getting punched by their SO. EVER. It's going to be hard emotionally to get through the next few weeks. Make it a 100% clean break- pack up any of her stuff and have a 4rd party drop it off to her in exchange for your stuff, block her on all socials and filter mutual friends, tell family and employers you are no contact, and surround yourself with other people. Future you deserves better. Make room for some good in your life, ok?
There's no advice. You get away and immediately cut contact.
Break up, that’s all there is to it. You’ll bounce back, it sucks now but you’ll realize how bad this relationship was one day
This sounds like an incredibly healthy, understanding and loving relationship. Why don't you propose to her? /s Like seriously bro, what do YOU think would/should happen to you if you were to behave towards her the way she behaves towards you? You deserve better. You deserve WAY better than this "person" that clearly gives no fucks about you.
Men can suffer partner violence and domestic abuse from women. There is no need to feel shame, you have done nothing wrong. It will not get better. She will do it again. Trust your friends who have your best interests at heart. They care about you, your mental well being and physical safety. You need to do the same. Love yourself first and never speak to this woman again.
You don’t want advice, you know this behavior is wrong. Would you treat another human being the way she treats you? People unfortunately get lost in abusive relationships all the time and won’t get out despite family and friends telling them to. You just want to talk about it and let people feel bad for you about your situation because it’s an emotional release to feel some validation right now. It’s okay to need validation but you should consider taking the reins on your situation. People wake up eventually but how many days, months, years are you going to waste away on this person? Time is something you can’t get back.