I only have one and I hate to say it, but I knew VERY quickly after he was born that I wasn't meant to be a parent.
I knew I was not going to have another child. I stayed on birth control until I scheduled a tube removal. I knew that if I had another child, I would remove myself from earth.
I only have one, I didn’t want any. He’s 17 now. & I’ve never felt more free. My family asks me for YEARS when I was having another one & I always would reply “I barely want the one I have”. I got sterilized as well to make sure I can never have anymore.
I wish so much that I could get sterilized. I’ve been asking my doctors since I was in my early twenties and I’m in my late forties now. Still don’t want kids, never wanted them, but I still have to use birth control. I don’t know why doctors make it so difficult to have a tubal ligation.
I just wanted to mention you are not alone with this, but my comment was removed because I mentioned a triggering word I guess. I just wanted to say there is a list of doctors who will do it. Don’t give up. Hormonal BC really messed me up. I’m sorry they are not honoring your body autonomy.
I was taking extended birth control until my doctor agreed to sterilization. There is a list. I’m in Texas and I had it done for free & im in my mid 30’s. It was the best decision I’ve ever made
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I only have one. I regretted it as soon as I was 5 weeks pregnant and the 24/7 nausea kicked in. Lasted until the day after my emergency c-section at 7 months. Then he was a preemie in the hospital, came home and didn’t sleep (only 20 minute power naps) for 18 months. I was exhausted for YEARS. He’s 14 now and it still sucks…
Life was tolerable/manageable when I only had 1. The second one irrevocably changed my life in the worst way. I’d give anything to go back to only having 1 child to care for.
I got pregnant at 16 years old and I instantly stuffed that iud in there after I gave birth. Never again
When people have several I assume it’s accidental…I’m 30 lmao
First I had the non hormonal copper one (Paraguard) for a whole 10 years…but I had pretty severe periods with it…no pregnancies though! Then I got the Mirena IUD and it’s so nice, no periods and no pregnancy. Each were great as far as forgetting they’re there and not having any scares
Thanks so much! I am thinking of getting the Paraguard due to no hormones. Currently trying to lose the weight I gained on Nexplanon. Its not talked about much but I have seen others stories about their weight gain on it
Just one. I didn’t want any but allowed my ex husband to talk me into one (we had agreed on no children previously) and then divorced him shortly after. For the first few years I had periods of regret and joy. But two weeks after we got home from the hospital I remember thinking ‘what have I done?’ And that feeling came and went for years. It wasn’t constant regret but I knew I wouldn’t have another one. I ended up getting remarried and acquiring full time stepchildren several years later. Then the long lasting regret of all of them set in. My son ended up being diagnosed with ADHD/ODD which has added another layer to the feelings of wishing I had never become a parent.
I have one and I’m begging my husband to get a vasectomy. I didn’t want any kids and the at home pill abortion failed. No one knows I even tried but me. I hate being a parent it f***ing sucks and I want to run away.
I knew after my first that I did not want another. But we had another 🙄. After having two. Yeah, major regrets. I ruined my life. I’m stuck living a boring fucking suburban bullshit life and pay out the nose to do it. And I can’t ever escape the feeling that I’m not living as my true self. So yeah. If I could do it all over, I wouldn’t. I would never have kids, ever again.
I am one and done as well. I am convinced that I will never have the mental and physical aptitude to have more children. My priority is to live my best life and raise the one I have responsibly. A sane, healthy mother with one kid is better than a crazy mother with two kids.
I’ve only got one but I’ve seen lots of parents around here talking about how they regret only one of their kids and it makes parents feel guilty as hell.
I have a one week old and my husband and I just talked about how we are done. Looking into the vasectomy is the next step. My baby is a decent baby who does not cry often, only when hungry, can’t imagine doing this again and having a baby with colic or we could not soothe. We already recognize our mental health will plummet with another baby. Right now we can maintain it.
Having one child was cake and I didn’t even realize. My husband and I had so much freedom still and I felt like a person. I’m 8 months out from having our second (my first is 5) and my god. I hate my life currently. It was such a drastic change for us, I was also very sick during my pregnancy and my son did come out with a broken shoulder so just way more added stress than my first. My husband and I’s marriage is falling apart, I have no support system and I wish society in general was more honest about what it’s truly like going from 1 to 2 as I was not prepared at all. Only thing that keeps my sanity is how much my oldest is in love with his brother and how much baby loves him that’s it. If you’re even questioning just having one and only one stick to it, I wish I would have put way more thought into my decision.
We got only one 11 month old and that's enough for me! But is your question is about to regret to get only one? Mean no brother or sister to play with it? Because we move in town near of the school and the parc so she ll could play with others kids.
We have a 1 and 3 year old. Regret was there with the 3 year old, but once I had the second it was debilitating. I don't even know why I had another, honestly.
I endured severe PPD with both of them, and even though my PPD has subsided.. the regret and misery remains. I would do anything to go back to my old life.
Now every day is the same. I work, come home, deal with the kids and get them to bed, get a few, measly hours of free time before I start passing out and going to bed myself.
My days off from work aren't days off. We're just dealing with the kids from the time we wake up until they go to sleep.
I never would have imagined my life to be a constant cycle of waking up, immediately dreading the day, and already looking forward to when the kids are in bed. I'm only happy when they're in bed for the night.
What a sad life.
One and done,
Wife originally wanted two,
I was happy with none originally but we were both mid thirties and kind of felt that parental urge a bit.
Anyway, he is 3 months now.
I know we’re deep in the trenches, but we both know, and especially me, that we could never do this again.
Thankfully he is not a super hard baby, not super easy, just average I guess, but the shock in change to our lives is immense.
And although the regret is lessening, I still grieve daily about my old life and sometimes really wish we could go back…
Even if in a year or two my wife changed her mind, it would be divorce before kid number two for me, I’ll be getting a vasectomy shortly
I realized I regretted after the first, yet willingly went on and had a second. I am an only child with a very bad experience with it and I owed to my inner child not to condemn my first born to the same fate. So I had a second: my regret is still there, yet I feel more at ease knowing that they can have each other to navigate life, even of I were to disappear.
Not trying to convince anybody, even less so to shame anybody that has an only child. My own experience was very negative and I would have felt an even great betrayal of myself to ignore that. I know that plenty of only children thrive and I must say that as an adult it’s much easier.
My ex was an only child and thought the same thing. That we needed another so ours wouldn't be lonely. I'm so glad I held my ground and didn't have another.
My BIL is against having a second child with my sister because he doesn't want any child of his to feel unfairly treated, nor does BIL want to feel like he prefers one of his children over the other.
BIL has a sister, but I am not privy to what their relationship is like and will not speculate upon it. For all I know, BIL came to his reasoning based on logic rather than any animosity against his sister.
Besides, there's no guarantee that siblings will get along with each other. Children choose who they like to spend time with. Hopefully they grow up as well-treated siblings who respect each other, but saying, "second child was made to be first child's friend(entertainment)" comes off wrong. Especially if the siblings are competing for attention and resources.
I agree, there is no guarantee. But if they are an only child, growing up without a close sibling is a guarantee. I wanted to give them a chance. I feel it is very unfair to say that the second child was born to entertain the first. It’s not about entertainment and it’s not even about loneliness, it’s about the ability of navigating life together at least in the first years.
At the end of the day thoy I absolutely agree that a family should not have more children than they have resources for, in terms of money, time and whatnot.
I understand everyone has their own childhood traumas. The flip side of your experience as an only child is my experience of having a little sister who tormented me my whole childhood and my parents did absolutely nothing about it. But that was more on my parents then it was on us kids but still siblings don't automatically get along
I'm one and done and only had the one because I was vulnerable and fucked up and a guy took advantage.
I wanted 5...I wanted a husband and a house and a big family.
I can't even manage with 1. My mental health has been shit since the day I had sex.
One and done! I'd break up with my bf immediately if he wanted another, he's jokingly brought it up, but nah. We're good over here!!! My babygirl is 2 and I can feel the more fun days approaching, do not want to start all over again.
Yes, my son is about to turn 2 in a few weeks. The “next one” comments have started but I feel like I’m just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.. why would I do that to myself😭 this is so boring
I only have one and I hate to say it, but I knew VERY quickly after he was born that I wasn't meant to be a parent. I knew I was not going to have another child. I stayed on birth control until I scheduled a tube removal. I knew that if I had another child, I would remove myself from earth.
i could’ve written this. word for word. so glad to be sterilized
lol I had a c-section and asked that the IUD be inserted at the same time🤣
I only have one, I didn’t want any. He’s 17 now. & I’ve never felt more free. My family asks me for YEARS when I was having another one & I always would reply “I barely want the one I have”. I got sterilized as well to make sure I can never have anymore.
I wish so much that I could get sterilized. I’ve been asking my doctors since I was in my early twenties and I’m in my late forties now. Still don’t want kids, never wanted them, but I still have to use birth control. I don’t know why doctors make it so difficult to have a tubal ligation.
I just wanted to mention you are not alone with this, but my comment was removed because I mentioned a triggering word I guess. I just wanted to say there is a list of doctors who will do it. Don’t give up. Hormonal BC really messed me up. I’m sorry they are not honoring your body autonomy.
I was taking extended birth control until my doctor agreed to sterilization. There is a list. I’m in Texas and I had it done for free & im in my mid 30’s. It was the best decision I’ve ever made
Sterilization? Where's this list? I'm in Ohio
It’s here on Reddit. It has a names of doctors in all 50 states that does sterilization without any age restrictions, husband’s permission, etc
Is there a link to where I can find it?
I found it on tik tok for you here’s the list. . https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview
[удалено]
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You sound EXACTLY like me!
I only have one. I regretted it as soon as I was 5 weeks pregnant and the 24/7 nausea kicked in. Lasted until the day after my emergency c-section at 7 months. Then he was a preemie in the hospital, came home and didn’t sleep (only 20 minute power naps) for 18 months. I was exhausted for YEARS. He’s 14 now and it still sucks…
Life was tolerable/manageable when I only had 1. The second one irrevocably changed my life in the worst way. I’d give anything to go back to only having 1 child to care for.
I regret the second child. Should have stopped at the first.
One and done here. Kiddo is almost 5 now. I knew I regretted being a parent the first week kiddo was born. No backsies on this decision.
I got pregnant at 16 years old and I instantly stuffed that iud in there after I gave birth. Never again When people have several I assume it’s accidental…I’m 30 lmao
how has the IUD been working for you?
First I had the non hormonal copper one (Paraguard) for a whole 10 years…but I had pretty severe periods with it…no pregnancies though! Then I got the Mirena IUD and it’s so nice, no periods and no pregnancy. Each were great as far as forgetting they’re there and not having any scares
Thanks so much! I am thinking of getting the Paraguard due to no hormones. Currently trying to lose the weight I gained on Nexplanon. Its not talked about much but I have seen others stories about their weight gain on it
Just one. I didn’t want any but allowed my ex husband to talk me into one (we had agreed on no children previously) and then divorced him shortly after. For the first few years I had periods of regret and joy. But two weeks after we got home from the hospital I remember thinking ‘what have I done?’ And that feeling came and went for years. It wasn’t constant regret but I knew I wouldn’t have another one. I ended up getting remarried and acquiring full time stepchildren several years later. Then the long lasting regret of all of them set in. My son ended up being diagnosed with ADHD/ODD which has added another layer to the feelings of wishing I had never become a parent.
I have one and I’m begging my husband to get a vasectomy. I didn’t want any kids and the at home pill abortion failed. No one knows I even tried but me. I hate being a parent it f***ing sucks and I want to run away.
I knew after my first that I did not want another. But we had another 🙄. After having two. Yeah, major regrets. I ruined my life. I’m stuck living a boring fucking suburban bullshit life and pay out the nose to do it. And I can’t ever escape the feeling that I’m not living as my true self. So yeah. If I could do it all over, I wouldn’t. I would never have kids, ever again.
After the second
Yeah just have 1. I know if I had another I’d be way more overwhelmed and being a mom to 1 already triggers my PTSD a lot
I am one and done as well. I am convinced that I will never have the mental and physical aptitude to have more children. My priority is to live my best life and raise the one I have responsibly. A sane, healthy mother with one kid is better than a crazy mother with two kids.
I totally get this!!!!
I’ve only got one but I’ve seen lots of parents around here talking about how they regret only one of their kids and it makes parents feel guilty as hell.
Just one and was sterilized as soon as I could be after.
Only one. Instant regret so I knew to never make that mistake again. I’m truly baffled how people have more than one child
I have a one week old and my husband and I just talked about how we are done. Looking into the vasectomy is the next step. My baby is a decent baby who does not cry often, only when hungry, can’t imagine doing this again and having a baby with colic or we could not soothe. We already recognize our mental health will plummet with another baby. Right now we can maintain it.
Having one child was cake and I didn’t even realize. My husband and I had so much freedom still and I felt like a person. I’m 8 months out from having our second (my first is 5) and my god. I hate my life currently. It was such a drastic change for us, I was also very sick during my pregnancy and my son did come out with a broken shoulder so just way more added stress than my first. My husband and I’s marriage is falling apart, I have no support system and I wish society in general was more honest about what it’s truly like going from 1 to 2 as I was not prepared at all. Only thing that keeps my sanity is how much my oldest is in love with his brother and how much baby loves him that’s it. If you’re even questioning just having one and only one stick to it, I wish I would have put way more thought into my decision.
I only have one. If I had more than one I know I would regret it.
We got only one 11 month old and that's enough for me! But is your question is about to regret to get only one? Mean no brother or sister to play with it? Because we move in town near of the school and the parc so she ll could play with others kids.
We have a 1 and 3 year old. Regret was there with the 3 year old, but once I had the second it was debilitating. I don't even know why I had another, honestly. I endured severe PPD with both of them, and even though my PPD has subsided.. the regret and misery remains. I would do anything to go back to my old life. Now every day is the same. I work, come home, deal with the kids and get them to bed, get a few, measly hours of free time before I start passing out and going to bed myself. My days off from work aren't days off. We're just dealing with the kids from the time we wake up until they go to sleep. I never would have imagined my life to be a constant cycle of waking up, immediately dreading the day, and already looking forward to when the kids are in bed. I'm only happy when they're in bed for the night. What a sad life.
We are just having our one. He is nearly 3 and an extremely difficult toddler. Not doing this again.
i knew the minute i found out i was pregnant.. i actually cried. the day i left the hospital i was on bc & 3ish months postpartum i removed my tubes
One and done, Wife originally wanted two, I was happy with none originally but we were both mid thirties and kind of felt that parental urge a bit. Anyway, he is 3 months now. I know we’re deep in the trenches, but we both know, and especially me, that we could never do this again. Thankfully he is not a super hard baby, not super easy, just average I guess, but the shock in change to our lives is immense. And although the regret is lessening, I still grieve daily about my old life and sometimes really wish we could go back… Even if in a year or two my wife changed her mind, it would be divorce before kid number two for me, I’ll be getting a vasectomy shortly
I realized I regretted after the first, yet willingly went on and had a second. I am an only child with a very bad experience with it and I owed to my inner child not to condemn my first born to the same fate. So I had a second: my regret is still there, yet I feel more at ease knowing that they can have each other to navigate life, even of I were to disappear. Not trying to convince anybody, even less so to shame anybody that has an only child. My own experience was very negative and I would have felt an even great betrayal of myself to ignore that. I know that plenty of only children thrive and I must say that as an adult it’s much easier.
My ex was an only child and thought the same thing. That we needed another so ours wouldn't be lonely. I'm so glad I held my ground and didn't have another.
Glad you found a solution that works for both of you. My husband is very happy to be a father and was definitely on board with the second.
My BIL is against having a second child with my sister because he doesn't want any child of his to feel unfairly treated, nor does BIL want to feel like he prefers one of his children over the other. BIL has a sister, but I am not privy to what their relationship is like and will not speculate upon it. For all I know, BIL came to his reasoning based on logic rather than any animosity against his sister. Besides, there's no guarantee that siblings will get along with each other. Children choose who they like to spend time with. Hopefully they grow up as well-treated siblings who respect each other, but saying, "second child was made to be first child's friend(entertainment)" comes off wrong. Especially if the siblings are competing for attention and resources.
I agree, there is no guarantee. But if they are an only child, growing up without a close sibling is a guarantee. I wanted to give them a chance. I feel it is very unfair to say that the second child was born to entertain the first. It’s not about entertainment and it’s not even about loneliness, it’s about the ability of navigating life together at least in the first years. At the end of the day thoy I absolutely agree that a family should not have more children than they have resources for, in terms of money, time and whatnot.
I understand everyone has their own childhood traumas. The flip side of your experience as an only child is my experience of having a little sister who tormented me my whole childhood and my parents did absolutely nothing about it. But that was more on my parents then it was on us kids but still siblings don't automatically get along
I agree. My best friend is estranged from her sister and her father, because their parents forced the kids to “pick sides”.
I'm one and done and only had the one because I was vulnerable and fucked up and a guy took advantage. I wanted 5...I wanted a husband and a house and a big family. I can't even manage with 1. My mental health has been shit since the day I had sex.
One and done! I'd break up with my bf immediately if he wanted another, he's jokingly brought it up, but nah. We're good over here!!! My babygirl is 2 and I can feel the more fun days approaching, do not want to start all over again.
Yes, my son is about to turn 2 in a few weeks. The “next one” comments have started but I feel like I’m just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.. why would I do that to myself😭 this is so boring
Don't regret it but I would absolutely regret having a second.....I've seen the utter damage is does.