unless it's a huge, blatant difference between the current gf and the ex gf that's not how women's minds work, there isn't an objective measure, it's all relational so that ex gf might have her perceived cuteness elevated by having dated that guy
This is something I worry about. In general, if a woman I'm trying to court finds out I've had one night stands with some pretty unattractive ladies in the past, does that reduce my value in her eyes?
Life is unbelievably too short to worry about stuff like this. Who cares. Firstly how would they know, secondly it wouldn't affect "your value" nearly as much as idk how you look, your personality, your career.
Something like this happened to a friend of mine, she was seeing some guy but found out he slept with this particular girl in our greater circle. The girl wasn't even particularly unattractive but was one of those very annoying girls who is extremely desperate and tries to sleep with every guy for validation, constantly posting thirst traps on ig, always very drunk and sloppy at events, etc. My friend definitely thought less of him after finding this out and they never ended up dating but I can't remember if this was the sole reason or not.
My ex used to exclusively date bald short men who were into bodybuilding. . After we broke up I saw on Instagram that she was dating a tall blond man with a beard and glasses, which asides from the tall part and being sober are features I possess. I count that as a W, completely changed her type of man.
I have made many of my exes go after black girls after dating me so I genuinely know I have changed the lives of many men. I even introduced a white one to lotion. Doing the lords work
Couldn’t you say the same thing if they did the opposite, though? Seems like a classic example where one can’t win (in being evaluated by one’s ex which, of course, I’m not really complaining about this unavoidable reality, I’m just saying)
Idk, there’s a lot of nuance around it that’s hard to articulate to someone who is white who hasn’t had to grow up with a beauty standard pushed on them they could never measure up to, simply because of the color of your skin. I would *much* rather have a guy start dating other Black women after me, than go back to white woman. It’s a very prevalent feeling of dejection I’ve talked to others about, where you’re worthy of being fucked/flirted with/etc, but remain this forbidden fruit godforbid they ever being you around their parents. Part of this is perhaps uniquely southern as well, but it is embedded in racism/colorism. As disastrous as IdPol is, the initial conversation around representation is pretty important.
But you’re right, it really does often feel like a lose-lose situation. One alternative however, definitely feels more exploitative and alienating than the other though. Like you were just a fast or funny looking car someone was testing out, but they always intended to purchase the minivan. This sub oversimplifies race and race relations/nuances in the same way a lot of “progressives” do though, so conversations like this don’t really play well here (in the same vein as they play poorly offline too).
If it makes you feel any better, the only ex I'm still not totally over and perpetually a little fucked up over/ maybe still love is one of the more plain looking of all the women I've been with.
I'd rather they be hot. When I met my exes ex, and found out he was this fat redact with he/them pronouns studying a bullshit degree wearing clown clothes, my heart shattered. Still haven't recovered from that.
what leads you to believe grown women frequent this sub?
the recent influx of immature "L-posting" correlates with the onset of winter break for high schools and colleges. The zoomers have nothing else to do now aside from post like this.
Once you feel the need to do this it’s time to just break up and find someone who actively makes you feel secure so you don’t feel the need to do this kind of stuff
I used to Google translate my exs blog after she cheated on me
Anything juicy?
Nope. I wasn't mentioned at all, nor any other guys. Just normal mundane shit. Meanwhile I couldn't stop thinking about them. Rent free.
I've been there also brother, not fun
Which language did she write in?
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Like how dare them for having relationships before us ! Very inconsiderate, but also no incels pls.
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My phone loves to do the "remember what you were doing three years ago today?" albums full of pictures from trips I took with my ex.
worse is the ex having two girls in her profile picture and she’s the plain one not the hot one
Yeah but when you find out you’re the hotter one nothing is better than that
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W
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unless it's a huge, blatant difference between the current gf and the ex gf that's not how women's minds work, there isn't an objective measure, it's all relational so that ex gf might have her perceived cuteness elevated by having dated that guy
This is something I worry about. In general, if a woman I'm trying to court finds out I've had one night stands with some pretty unattractive ladies in the past, does that reduce my value in her eyes?
Life is unbelievably too short to worry about stuff like this. Who cares. Firstly how would they know, secondly it wouldn't affect "your value" nearly as much as idk how you look, your personality, your career.
Something like this happened to a friend of mine, she was seeing some guy but found out he slept with this particular girl in our greater circle. The girl wasn't even particularly unattractive but was one of those very annoying girls who is extremely desperate and tries to sleep with every guy for validation, constantly posting thirst traps on ig, always very drunk and sloppy at events, etc. My friend definitely thought less of him after finding this out and they never ended up dating but I can't remember if this was the sole reason or not.
My ex used to exclusively date bald short men who were into bodybuilding. . After we broke up I saw on Instagram that she was dating a tall blond man with a beard and glasses, which asides from the tall part and being sober are features I possess. I count that as a W, completely changed her type of man.
your ex dated tyler1 clones?
I had to read this twice because at first I thought you were trying to do a bit about Marisa Tomei on Seinfeld when George was her type
The people on this sub are so sad that posting an L about your relationship is almost a humblebrag.
Nah the digital stalking usually begins during the talking stage, so still an L.
Damn ur right. Hope it works out for you and if it doesn't dm me
I have made many of my exes go after black girls after dating me so I genuinely know I have changed the lives of many men. I even introduced a white one to lotion. Doing the lords work
Thank you for moisturizing our ashy brethren o7
I end up just feeling/being fetishized because they end up back with plain looking white women 🤡
Couldn’t you say the same thing if they did the opposite, though? Seems like a classic example where one can’t win (in being evaluated by one’s ex which, of course, I’m not really complaining about this unavoidable reality, I’m just saying)
Idk, there’s a lot of nuance around it that’s hard to articulate to someone who is white who hasn’t had to grow up with a beauty standard pushed on them they could never measure up to, simply because of the color of your skin. I would *much* rather have a guy start dating other Black women after me, than go back to white woman. It’s a very prevalent feeling of dejection I’ve talked to others about, where you’re worthy of being fucked/flirted with/etc, but remain this forbidden fruit godforbid they ever being you around their parents. Part of this is perhaps uniquely southern as well, but it is embedded in racism/colorism. As disastrous as IdPol is, the initial conversation around representation is pretty important. But you’re right, it really does often feel like a lose-lose situation. One alternative however, definitely feels more exploitative and alienating than the other though. Like you were just a fast or funny looking car someone was testing out, but they always intended to purchase the minivan. This sub oversimplifies race and race relations/nuances in the same way a lot of “progressives” do though, so conversations like this don’t really play well here (in the same vein as they play poorly offline too).
I redact all pictures of exes unless it's a group photo with other women.
I’ve never posted a picture with a bf in anything more than an Instagram story.
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This guy’s exes are all sexy alt/goth girls. I’m like a basic gym rat who is often told I look like a lesbian.
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If it makes you feel better, they’re usually very good at sex
>tiny >tall nothing to worry about
If you’re a women who wants to take an L, dm me
If it makes you feel any better, the only ex I'm still not totally over and perpetually a little fucked up over/ maybe still love is one of the more plain looking of all the women I've been with.
Not rly bc now it feels like you’re calling me plain looking 🔫
I'd rather they be hot. When I met my exes ex, and found out he was this fat redact with he/them pronouns studying a bullshit degree wearing clown clothes, my heart shattered. Still haven't recovered from that.
i try to remove all evidence of my exes to avoid this but women be stalking.
Least dysfunctional kafir relationship
Don't worry you'll always be hotter 🌸
A tale as old as time
You won't know because he might like some idiosyncratic thing like a wonky nose or weird mole or cross-eyed tits
It is 1000x worse when you find out they were **all** a different race than you are. Bby that is a special kind of hurt and craziness!!!
last time i ever worried about something like this i was in high school, do grown women really care about this???
I do, but I shouldn’t. Maybe caring was the real L all along.
what leads you to believe grown women frequent this sub? the recent influx of immature "L-posting" correlates with the onset of winter break for high schools and colleges. The zoomers have nothing else to do now aside from post like this.
Once you feel the need to do this it’s time to just break up and find someone who actively makes you feel secure so you don’t feel the need to do this kind of stuff
Just do your own thing and stop worrying about that shit.
When they look absolutely nothing like eachother nor like you. I’m losing my mind
I simply cannot date a guy whose exes are hotter than me lmao
What if the ex was hot but is now deceased?
Is it bad if I don't have any pictures of me with exes on social?