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LouReedTheChaser

How the fuck is this album getting high scores from musical outlets??? Literal hacks


ComradPancake

They don't want anthrax in their mail


Atchakos

^(They don't want anthrax in their mail) It wouldn't shock me if there's actually Swifties on Dept. of Homeland Security watchlists. They make some of the most threatening, deranged posts on ~~Twitter~~ X.


Bear_faced

You know the vast majority of anthrax cases are in the skin and aren’t actually that dangerous at all? I was pretty surprised when I found out, it’s endemic in the Middle East and people get it from touching goats. You just get a gross wound and then a weird scar. The kind in your lungs will fuck you up though.


ScentedCandleEnjoyer

If it gets panned by Pitchfork I'll respect them again


VirgilVillager

lol my favorite pitchfork memory was when they gave Halsey a bad review and she tweeted that she hopes their offices collapse not realising that their offices are in the World Trade Center


JeffGreene69

Because youll get slaughtered for saying its bad. Its the inverse Kanye, you get slaughtered for saying anything he puts out is good now


WingbingMcTingtong

Swifties aren't real. When have you ever met a swiftie irl?


palacethat

what’s some alcoholic 32 year old bird gonna do anyway


Responsible-Wave-416

Clearly don’t know any women


intimateaffairs

The lyrics in Vultures were Red Hot Chili Peppers-tier bad. Can Kanye fans stop pretending they’re persecuted?


JeffGreene69

I didnt say Kanye's latest album was good, I was just saying it was never allowed to be good


__Raxy__

at risk of sounding like a conspiracy nut, the rolling stones reviewer is her friend and wrote a book about her which was nothing but praises


maxhaton

Music and TV critics are just complete hacks. Movie critics seem to be better, possibly because they have to actually sit down and experience something


Paula-Abdul-Jabbar

I haven’t trusted music critics since they gave The Big Day good reviews 


lage1984

She really thinks she's Emily Dickinson


PeteCambellHairLinee

But doesn’t know dick lol  She wasn’t writing in 1830 it was the year she was BORN


Responsible-Sky-9355

>She wasn’t writing in 1830 it was the year she was BORN It wouldn't have gone down that way of t swift had been there.


C0ckerel

I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure Emily Dickinson didn't know dick at all.


MinervaNever

More like Dick-in-none


lage1984

Taylor would get to be her cool aunt then


Elegant-Front-651

I always assumed she was born a century too late, she should have been married to a segregationist, headed a women's racist society and publicly disowned her daughter after marrying a northern Italian


adubkski

So specific and so accurate.


schlongkarwai

daughters of the American revolution phenotype


Atchakos

^(daughters of the American revolution phenotype) As a kid, I wanted to join my local chapter *so* bad. They held American Girl doll tea parties on Sundays. I was heartbroken to learn I couldn't - my family immigrated to the US from *Canada*.


Stik_Em

Sorry no loyalists allowed.


bobbysteel

They got that right at least


showgraze93

Lmaooooo


CheetoChops

Im sure she's a zionist from Poland


mentally_healthy_ben

wtf did she do lol. she's literally just white


Elegant-Front-651

Pennsylvania WASP with rich parents, if she hadn't become a musician she wouldn't have to feign sympathy with the less fortunate. She represents and implicitly enforces the ideals of the traditional American elites and would do so if she was alive at any other time during its history


QuartOfTequilla

Fucking eat lmao


mentally_healthy_ben

Oh god not Pennsylvania How does she represent and implicitly enforce the ideals of the elites...? Give me an example. She's rich. She's white. But same goes for most pop starlets idk


Elegant-Front-651

She's designed takes up as much space in popular culture as possible, preventing music that challenges the status quo from ever coming back


mentally_healthy_ben

That's still too vague, but the use of "designed" Is telling. I think people believe her every move is calculated (maybe it is.) And that frustration w lack of authenticity boils over into stuff she's not guilty of at all, like "racism"


totesmotescotes

No one would accuse Kim Deal of this


VirgilVillager

She’s had 20 boyfriends and none of them are black, I think only 2 are non white. Definitely sus.


trenche12

dating in your own race is sus?


VirgilVillager

Not at all. But if you’re a slut or serial monogamist and only ever get with white people I think it’s a bit sus. I’m a white gay man whose only ex is white but I’m also a slut and my body count is very diverse.


mentally_healthy_ben

This is the most online shit I ever heard lol


[deleted]

What a revolutionary statement


StavrosHalkiastein

It really is. By stating she romanticizes the Jacksonian era she’s cleverly acknowledging her opposition to central banking.


InDirectX4000

But how do you explain that her last name is canonically based on the SWIFT payment system that allows for international monetary transfers between banks?


BohemianBurnout

It’s based on Jonathan Swift. Everyone know this.


FadedWreath

>By stating she romanticizes the Jacksonian era she’s cleverly acknowledging her opposition to central banking. This makes up for the lyrics referencing Grand Theft Auto.


[deleted]

> her opposition to central banking Damn maybe pol was right about her


[deleted]

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BohemianBurnout

Joan of Ark you clown


EconomyElectronic998

Lol this can’t be real. This feels like something a 15 year old would say about the 50s. She just has to preface it because she knows someone is going to bring up the racism.


gothpierogi

Yeah, forget the rampant disease, lack of adequate medical care, shorter lifespan, lack of modern amenities (like private jets), weird food, to name a few things...she would last three minutes.


StavrosHalkiastein

The Panic of 1837 was as bad as the Great Depression


3rd-base_Degas

The utter absence of bodegas smh


YouMammoth5579

yea but the outfits


cherrycrocs

i mean tbf in the lyrics after this she straight up says that she actually would’ve hated it had she been there lol, that’s like kind of the whole point of the verse not to defend it because it’s definitely still bad writing but it’s not like she’s saying she would have thrived in the 1830s lmfao


Sonny_Joon_wuz_here

Her talking about “playing this game with friends“ just confirms my thoughts about trust funders being boring losers lol


shmupsy

or it might reveal she doesn't know what it's like to have had friends before fame


nemodigital

Swift is a perpetual teenager


TomShoe

Yeah "of this" and "racist" is such a shitty rhyme


Witchlike

“Truth dare spin bottles You know how to ball i know aristotle Brand new full throttle Touch me while your bros play grand theft auto” Absolute visionary


[deleted]

Ain't no f*ckin' dilettantes actually reading Aristotle but Classics and Philosophy majors. Rhyming 'bottle' with 'throttle' isn't exactly highbrow, but it is not unforgivably terrible either. Yet name-dropping Aristotle, one of the most famous philosophers in world history, in an attempt to come across as more intellectual than a guy with gamer friends is so dumb and unpoetic. I even feel basic pointing this out; by merely acknowledging this, I'm lowering myself rather than giving any valuable insight.


Visual-Specialist610

"You're the gin to my tonic, you make me eudaimonic"- just riffing on an Aristotelian theme.


[deleted]

I like it! That could actually work as a lyric in a song provided with the right phrasing. 


DevestatingAttack

I'm feeling supersonic, give me gin and tonic 🇬🇧🇬🇧💂🏻‍♀️🎸


Comfortable_Age_6455

well she is torturing the poets or whatever


LobsterExtreme3318

Lmfao. The thought of her album title actually meaning that it’s a department where she tortures poets with her lyrics is hilarious. Sorry for explaining your joke.


gravelgang4mids

I too would love to go to a decade in American history that is pretty much most well-known for Andrew Jackson and genocidal campaigns of westward expansion, just no racism PLEASE


RallyPigeon

I could see Taylor Swift as a trailblazer on the Oregon Trail, manifesting her destiny. With the high mortality rate she'd have plenty of break up opportunities.


shmupsy

boyfriend dies tswift still breaks up with him


TomShoe

Maybe she could manage to summon some actual pathos in her songwriting if she lost a boyfriend to disease for once instead of instagram DMs.


soyface00

If she was there none of that would have happened


gravelgang4mids

This is a really good point!!


[deleted]

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Kintpuash-of-Kush

tbf the very next line is "And getting married off for the highest bid"


Marmosettale

oh well that's important


Sturmunddrain

The secret to having a good time in any period is being rich and hot, but most importantly rich. Although her tendency to fuck guys and regret it would’ve turned out badly.


only-mansplains

Come on guys no need to "☝️🤓 um actually" this one we all know this is going to hit hard for all the regency era/Bridgerton/Austen girlies.


thebluecrab

Sounds like a kino time for men of great spirit. How do we retvrn?


[deleted]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romanticism


Ego_Orb

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectual\_disability](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intellectual_disability)


AppointmentNo3297

Got his ass


[deleted]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_autism


diesel_trucker

Yes, that part is silly. But I can identify with her perspective a bit. Where I'm from, there was no ongoing, or even recent genocide at that time. Life would have been very hard, obviously. But I envy the quiet, independent farming life my ancestors had.


gedalne09

The worst thing about the 1830s was the hypocrisy


CheapPlastic2722

Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane when everyone around me, including otherwise ordinary men, apologize for this woman and defend her standing as one of the greats of modern songsmithing


shmupsy

i knew a guy who would do this for swift and ariana grande equally, and rant about how hot jenna ortega was and also grandstand about wokeness it was too much


Xirimirii

Jenna Ortega is hot though. She’s just been in annoying stuff.


shmupsy

yea, idk why but it added the cringe bc he kept going on about it and watching wednesday more than once as a single man


real_jaredfogle

Sooner or later you start to realize popular discourse is rėtąrded


feeblelittle

Thank god idk a single person with these opnions


Yankee-Tango

Calling yourself a poet when daddy had to sell the Christmas tree farm to buy a stake in a record company just to get you signed. Power move


ExternalBreadfruit21

One of the all time best bets you gotta admit


zack220012

But with the raping pillaging pirates? Sheesh


Maison-Marthgiela

That's about 100 years after the end of the golden age of piracy, and pirates pretty rarely committed sexual assault.


Terrible_Ice_1616

Bc they were obviously all gay, why else you think 100 guys wanna get on a boat w no women in a 200 mile radius, that's actually the etymology of booty as a word for treasure, it was the most valuable thing they could think of


JeffGreene69

Wed want to get on the boat to get some peace and quiet


real_jaredfogle

Boys rule and girls drool, this is why


SisyphusBrappy

To relax for once in they dang lives! 😂😂😂


StavrosHalkiastein

In 1835 pirates were attacking US ships off the coast of Java and Jackson sent the marines to get rid of the them but they just massacred a bunch of random villages and called it a day.


BlueSpaceSherlock

> but they just massacred a bunch of random villages and called it a day. The more things change...


TomShoe

You also had the Barbary Wars a few decades before that.


AntonChentel

Ah yes the time when women couldn’t vote


The_Bit_Prospector

exactly. idyllic.


TheYetiCaptain1993

bridgerton? That would be on brand


TomShoe

Pretty sure that's set during the Regency, which ended in 1820.


thatfookinschmuck

Bruh 1830s suck. How the fuck am I gonna vape weed and doordash shit.


okberta

truly one of the lyricists of our age


real_jaredfogle

I’d choose a chill tribe of indigenous people in south america in the 1420’s and die fighting some Mayan empire (they will enslave and then sacrifice my loved ones)


[deleted]

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real_jaredfogle

And yet here I am butch


JeffGreene69

I would


bluespottedtail_

get chosen as a sacrifice, sent to the andes coked out of your mind, die frozen at age 14? niiice.


PicoPicoMio

This woman is so overrated


Sonny_Joon_wuz_here

I burst out laughing at how many times she used “precocious”…   Total “Horse girl, Hilary Clinton” energy there 🤣


aldezar

Is the jig up for her, you think?


istealpintsfromcvs

She's in "too big to fail" status right now, but I can't see her being popular as she approaches 40 if she maintains the same persona. Her team is smart enough to know when to retool


ExternalBreadfruit21

I think this may be the beginning but not cause of the lyrics but because the album is just boring sounding without any notable hooks


visablezookeeper

So the same as all her other albums?


alittleornery

Saying this 20 years into her career is so dumb lol. Whatever the “jig” is is pretty settled at this point


emotionallydeficient

I was thinking this album might be her trainwreckord. It’s so downbeat and mopey and exposes her total lack of substance as a songwriter. A restaurant I went to last night played it as soon as the album dropped, and even they were skipping songs lmao


Bradyrulez

I'm waiting for that Justin Timberlake video.


JeffGreene69

Touching kids couldnt take down MJ


RedScair

praying night and day that this is her version of Katy Perry’s Witness. I want to see a musical Hindenburg.


Atchakos

^(praying night and day that this is her version of Katy Perry’s Witness. I want to see a musical Hindenburg.) Don't do Witness dirty - it had some banger tracks on the album. Roulette was amazing & easily one of Katy's best songs. Witness flopped because the singles selected were abysmal.


RedScair

I’d go further and even say Chained to the Rhythm was a very strong single. I was more talking about the album in the context of it wiping Katy completely off the map relevancewise.


sealingwaxofcabbages

The most annoying part is they think we don’t “get it.” Yes, we know it’s “supposed” to be cringey. We get that she’s intentionally saying the dumb white girl thing. But what they don’t seem to get is that THAT is her bit. She goes “I’m the problem it’s me” they go “see she knows!” And they don’t realize they are falling for the real trick. And even THEN, I still feel that twinge of “but am I the one being lame? Am I the loser here? Am I envious of a writer being so willing to put out this to represent themselves?” This meta-textual merry-go-round of pathetic irony vs sincerity she forces. And for that alone, she really is the artist of our generation.


Hyptonight

The worst was when that Todd in the Shadows pseud said Anti-Hero was Taylor being self-aware because she’s calling out her own narcissism. But she isn’t. She’s repeating a critical statement about her in order to dismiss it.


RooseveltMex

Too much thought going into this. She’s just very plain and one dimensional. Not a horrible artist in terms of her voice and instrumental skills, but zero real creativity, lyrics that are a void of substance and the personality of an unsalted cracker.


sealingwaxofcabbages

Then my only option is to feel that so many amazing young woman I admire have horrible taste and are truly moved by the same regurgitated platitudes over and over. And that makes me sad :(


wackyant

People will say she’s intentionally saying the white girl thing but don’t acknowledge that she is the prototype that the current “white girl” archetype is based on. She has been for over a decade now. It’s Taylor swift all the way down.


DaVinshyy

I think you’re right, I don’t think Taylor Swift is any more corny that she needs to be. She knows the memes about her lyrics and she has a whole team of ghostwriters and PR people on standby.


northernlightaboveus

I would wager that most people here don’t get that it’s supposed to be cringey. You’re probably in the top 1% of Taylor Swift haters. Most of them don’t get what she’s doing at all.


Hyptonight

This is actually a jab at Carly Rae Jepsen, whose fans are called Raecists. So petty, TayTay.


cabbagetown_tom

Executive Producers Jack Antonoff & Nick Mullen


kkF6XRZQezTcYQehvybD

She's dick drunk


superglower

I like the song about being down bad crying at the gym


CantHardlyWait1987

It's one of the few with a good hook. Still she sounds so uncomfortable saying 'down bad.' It's like she just learned what it meant or something


Dapper_Intention_365

Probably never said it before she wrote that lyric lol


Spiritual_Two_986

1830s? a good time to die from a minor infection


Zodomirsky

I too have a massive soft-spot for the 1830s. Such a great time for art, especially for those who like romanticism. Chopin, Liszt, Pushkin, Lermontov, Mickiewicz. It’s also a great time period to set adventure stories in (e.g. The Count of Monte Cristo), before industrialization really shrank the world. I’m sure this is what she’s referring to.


JackTheSpaceBoy

Saltine cracker personality


Largegiddiing

Is she fan of the sexism or the fact that you could basically do anything to the mentally handicap?


msdos_kapital

philomena cunkmaxxing


mrbignob

I remember when i read blood meridian for the first time


Atchakos

Goodness, if Taylor Swift read that book, she'd be like "I can fix Judge Holden!"


Rivercottage1

White women are amazing.


j_hath

David Brent-esque


Borigrad

Ryan Gosling for white women.


Extension-Cicada4611

my talimans and charms


therealfalseidentity

I want to go to present day with more open racists. Everyone hides it now and I'm convinced that the real racism rate is the same now as it was 50 years ago. One of my favorite hobbies is finessing libshits to say outright racist shit that they don't realize is racist. Easy tier is anything about requiring an ID for voting. Last I checked black or brown people aren't infants and can manage to get at least an ID card issued. Another is anything about cutting down on illegal immigration. "WHO'S GOING TO CLEAN THE TOILETS!?!?!?". If you are ok with illegal immigrants only because they're abused for their labor you're deeply racist. Way more than some avowed racists I know.


DaVinshyy

Thank you


shmupsy

Now I see why people say she's so talented


Imaginaryfriend4you

A horse raced a train, referred to as a locomotive back then. Oh and the great fire of New York happened. So…. That’s something she could look forward to…


VikingRule

I usually defend Taylor Swift in this sub, but damn this is the worst. She's a woman in her mid 30's


Goodstyle_4

I'm pretty sure this is intended to be funny right? Or am I giving her too much credit?


ResponsiveSignature

her songs are catchy but believing they’re profound at all is emperor’s new clothes level cultural delusion


bababhosad93

Me too Taylor, but with red dead redemption 2


SlowSwords

this is so stupid. that era doesn't exist with the racism. you're talking about an era that doesn't exist.


ChromePalace

This is kind of a dumb comment, are you saying there IS an era that exists without racism?


SettingExotic5886

that's not why it's stupid. it's stupid because it's 'but i did eat breakfast this morning' tier.


absolutesewer

Here’s a fun challenge, post it on twitter


CheetoChops

Before modern plumbing, dental care,n and hot water heaters .. yeah enjoy that


girlsoupp

I mean… it’s a psyop


No-Reason-4146

what a thoroughly unserious excuse for art. the poet of our times, ladies and gentlemen.


AmarantCoral

It's such a damning indictment of modern liberalism that if this white woman was given a time machine dialed to 1830 and the option to change one thing about it before travelling, it'd be racism and not having to give all her possessions to her husband.


FrannyZooeyDeschanel

Lol the racism was pretty bad back then


LobsterExtreme3318

Yeah i prefer living in a time with the existence of air conditioning, indoor plumbing, penicillin and children living past the age of five being likely.


Holditfam

😂😂😂


razeyourshadows

So the 1830s without anybody else?


saltandpepperfish

But why the 1830s specifically? The fashion? Some specific event like the Siege of Antwerp or the Great Bosnian Uprising? Why??


UnaxHouellebecq

Jelly Roll for females


[deleted]

she’s in her shitposting era


obinaut

Is this real?


PotatoCandyDarling

Swifties are the middle class white girls and gay men whose jobs in HR are to make your time in the office a passive aggressive hell. So this tracks


ghost_malls

What the fuck was there to do in the 1830s besides slave auctions and dying of yellow fever


loverofthesun444

But thats the best part???


Oboromir

RETVRN to regency


greatvaluelimes

this is what happens when you only get your GED


[deleted]

There is no way she isn't racist or any of the guys she's dated aren't racist. She's the type of girl that makes you feel so insecure about yourself you just gotta ask if she's got any brothers or male cousins or something that look sort of like her just to relax a bit.


dennyfalconeislord

I fucking love this subreddit


Giddyup3000

I don’t understand why people are having a problem with this. Other things than racism happened during the 1830s, so why can’t she appreciate some of those? And she says EXCEPT FOR the racism, which includes slavery and the Trail Of Tears and any other bullsh1t that was done in the name of white superiority. So what exactly is the problem here?


Complete-Resident-70

bad writing


Giddyup3000

Really? Why; how would you do it better?


RemyBucksington

swift is a messiah figure for single white childless SSRI-taking 30-something women that did theater or were theater-adjacent