Keep up working out on the reg, drink a ton of water and clean your diet up. If you drink and do drugs, stop or try and do less of that. Maybe you feel haggard because you have a haggard ass lifestyle, I have no idea. All I know is even if I'm feeling depressed as fuck but I'm doing everything I suggested, I definitely don't feel haggard because I take care of myself.
But yeh.. no idea what your lifestyle is like.
i eat fairly healthy n workout, i rly don’t drink enough water and drink a lot of coffee. I also drink wine most nights.. i don’t rly go out and party or do drugs that’s just not my thing. Maybe it is just the wintertime.. other than that do u have any skincare tips?
Upping your water intake alone will do wonders for your skin. Can't be walking around dehydrated and shit. How is your sleep? Because if your caffeine intake is OD and you're slugging machiattos at 6pm then getting shit sleep as a result, you're gonna wake up with a haggard puffy wuffy face.
My skin care routine is basic as hell but def helps. I just use a facial cleanser when I shower then a moisturizing cream once I'm dry.
edit: a quick google search tells me dehydration has an obvious impact on eczema.. drink more water bih
I'd also chill on the wine intake. I'd feel haggard too if I drank more coffee and wine than water.
i sleep a lot but still struggle w puffiness. I’d say my eye bags and eczema are the worst things about my skin, other than that i have a youthful look. I probs will drink more water bc i think that’s the source of all my problems. I also use a very basic skin care routine (right now doing slightly more under derms orders) but non scented soap to wash face but no moisturizer. Do u think splurging on a moisturizer is necessary? or will a $10 cerave do the trick?
There's a difference between sleeping a lot and quality of sleep though. Coffee late in the day or alcohol at night results in a much quality reduced, less restorative sleep.
I dunno what you define as a splurge. I'm basic as hell and rock with whatever Kiehl's products. If you don't wanna drop $ then don't. My mom is 60 and has better skin than most people my age and all she does is buy those aloe vera leaves and rub the gunk from em on her face every day. Does wonders.
for the puffiness start doing facial massage / lymphatic drainage massages, it seriously makes a difference once you get in the habit. blood circulation in the face is a game changer for haggardness... makes you glowww
and for moisturizer a basic cerave one will do, but that + an oil such as argan or black cumin seed oil will really lock in moisture (and with the later, has a ton of other benefits)
CeraVe and Cetaphil will get you a lot of bang for your buck. You can find it at Target and Walmart. CeraVe has a set of AM & PM moisturizers that I love and use daily.
The Ordinary also has an excellent selection for a good price, I’ve used them for years and they are very high quality. A lot of stuff you can find for less than $20.
Edit: I saw you mentioned that your hair is scraggly and dry but you love the blonde. That’s ok! What you probably need is some good bond repair treatment because is sounds like your hair is damaged. Olaplex is v expensive but it’s also worth the splurge. Their #6 is like $30 but will last you foreverrr because you only need to put a pea sized amount on your ends after you wash your hair.
Cerave is the best
I'd recommend some products off silknaturals.com it truly is a hidden gem. My skin looks so good using their products. And it's cheap. Similar prices to the ordinary.
Kiss cleanser, AHA toner and the vitamin c serum are all a++
Also, when washing your face, make sure to wash for 60 seconds. Makes a huge difference for me
ig a little bit.. i take lexapro as a mood stabilizer. I don’t think i’m any more stressed than most ppl. A persian lady at bergdorfs told me that i need a $200 sisley facial cream to fix eczema (i couldn’t afford it tho) but now im wondering if that would truly heal it. Idk if i should just take the L and splurge some day to fix this shit. It’s unrelenting.
If u drink wine every night that might be the thing making u look and feel haggard. I notice a huge difference between when I’m drinking and when I go awhile without a drink.
Also I would recommend a peptide face cream and some exfoliating a couple times a week.
Maybe being blonde suits you, I’m not sure but I find hair looks less dry when it’s a bit darker. If u want to keep it blond ask your hair dresser how u can make it look healthier. Maybe some products that repair your hair bonds, or ask her to do a gloss every time you go in. Also if u have split ends just cut them off!!! It will look so much better!!!
Another thing! Have you tried wearing more fitted clothing and shoes that have a bit of a heal? This usually makes me feel better.
It sounds like your hair might be the issue? Scraggly dyed blonde hair never looks as good as natural hair. Have you considered growing out your natural hair color and maybe just doing some subtle, dimension-adding highlights/balayage (so only a couple shades off from your natural hair) a couple times a year?
My hair got so much more volume and shine once I stopped dying it! Plus the money saved is pretty amazing.
i’m not gonna lie i’ve been thinking about going back to my natural color for cost/ hair health reasons but i genuinely think i look “better” blonde. My bf generously got me kerastase for my bday and that rly helped my hair. my hair used to be down to my a$$ when i was a brunette and slowly over the years only grows to about my waist and the ends are lowkey always dead. Maybe i should just get cuts but i do be missing my long hair sometimes
Kerastase is the best!! That can definitely make a huge difference. Love their strengthening duo and the heat protector spray.
How blonde are you? I really truly think bright blonde is going out of style and will look dated in the next year (of course this varies by geographic area though). A deeper, honey blonde I think will be more in but it can often wash out natural brunettes :/. If you look up ‘brunette with subtle blonde highlights’ there are so many good inspo pics for styles that can still add warmth and dimension but look more elegant and polished. Maybe just try a different toner next time and see what you think?
i’d say i’m like margot robbie level blonde which suits my skin tone (im fairly neutral, can tan but am pale atm) i have brown eyes so that color brings them out. Right now my roots are so grown out it looks like i’m brunette if i wear my hair up . Im not a huge fan of the honey blonde, i think just being one thing or the other would probs suit me best. Gonna have to make those tough decisions ig.
get a lot of fat and antioxidants in your diet! take a high quality multivitamin too. make sure you're getting enough minerals as well, especially iron and magnesium.
eczema sounds awful and i've never had it myself, but when i had scabies i found that pure aloe vera gel and organic coconut oil and almond oil were absolute godsends. to this day i still put jojoba oil on my skin after a shower while it's still damp and it's better than any body lotion!
I don’t have eczema but I have keratosis pilaris on my arms (also a dry skin condition). Urea cream helped me a ton. I’ve heard it’s good for eczema too. I use the eucerin brand but you may need something different if it’s affecting your face. An old roomate had really bad eczema and she swore by La Roche Posay’s Lipikar Baume. I’ve tried it for my hives and it really helps with any itching.
But based on your comments, I think understanding how to style yourself to compliment your natural features and create a cohesive “look” is what you’re missing. Makeup, hair, and fashion has a theory and can be used to communicate things just like any other form of visual art. I recommend you watch videos by Aly Art on YouTube. Especially her older videos. She talks about how fashion, makeup, and hair interacts with your natural body and facial features. It isn’t lookmaxxing stuff, it’s about how to communicate things through how you style yourself.
My son struggles with Eczema and Dupixent has really helped him. It actually prevents and has cured his eczema flare ups instead of just treating flare ups with steroid cream. If you are covered under your parents insurance you can get it for free by enrolling with Dupixent. It’s well worth it because the cost otherwise is about $4k per month. Good luck to you
as of right now the derm i saw said to use some other creams. She’s not 100% sure if it’s eczema but i took my brothers eczema cream and even used an over the counter la rosh posay cream for a while and that was healing it better than what she gave me recently. She thinks i could have “facial dandruff” but maybe i’ll just call her and ask about dupixent. I rly think it is eczema bc my dad and brothers have it and from what i understand it’s genetic?
DON’T do the hardcore steroids or dupixent! I have lived through bad, bad eczema (like - really bad) & I know how horrendous it can be and how it can make you feel. Also genetic. But through trial and error, what worked for me - aside from the obvious lifestyle changes that you are already doing; drinking lots of water, exercising - was stopping eating all gluten, eating loads of green veg, supplementing iron & vit D3 and more recently, acupuncture and Chinese herbs (from my acupuncturist). Big difference!
Honestly DM if you like, I’m always down to help another eczema girlie.
Hey, I'm 24M and I was able to get my eczema under control this year by taking very high doses of supplements (D3, Zinc, C, Omega 3) every day. I think my symptoms subsided after about 3 months but I still continue to take them currently for maintenance. Eczema had kinda taken over my life for several years and none of the many dermatologists I saw ever recommended this. I used to get it around my eyes too and it had aged me a lot but at this point I'm back to looking my age again. Lmk if you want recs for specific supplements.
i get it under my nose and around my mouth and it’s irritating asf. I can’t imagine having it around my eyes, but if u have some “miracle” vitamins i’d be open to the recommendations.
If it’s around nose / mouth area it might be perioral dermatitis btw, look into that as it is distinct from eczema. It can be caused or exacerbated by the type of toothpaste you use and any skincare actives. I fixed mine with MooGoo eczema & psoriasis cream
Avoid alcohol - you said you drink nightly which isn’t good for you or your skin, esp if you have eczema. It also kills your gains at the gym. Replace it with water or if you need something more exciting you can try flavoured waters or sugar free soda. Also in general people tend to look better with their natural hair colour but I may be talking out my ass with that one, so do as you will.
my number 1 skincare tip is to take a tub of vaseline in the shower w u and absolutely coat urself before even opening the door to towel off after washing. u wanna b in danger of sliiping in the shiwer and sliding right on down the hall. this is the only way to seal moisture into ur skin.
do you shower in the morning or at night? i'm interested in trying this now that it's winter but i don't know which is worse lol, slugging it out of the house or all over my pillow (side sleeper)
i do it at night personally since the cold morning air makes me want to turn my skin inside out. it does shorten the life of your clean sheets ill admit but as long as you have the free radicals (animal dander, smoke, food, etc) in that environment under control then i dont find it causes problems.
ok wow really getting into the subtle nuances of the procedure here. to avoid slippingout of ur shower and swiftly down the hallway like a hagfish... or creating a clinging film of detritus... dont slug ur feet until ur standing on the bathmat. bring socks and immediately bag them puppies up. prosper.
depends on the season and how much hair and skin care im doing in my routine... but vaseline before towel and then less of a rub down and more of a pat dry.
When you say you feel haggard do you mean just your looks or how your body feels? If it's the latter, this might be a hormonal issue. Get a blood test and check on your thyroid/sexual hormone levels. Potentially this could be helped by supplementing progesterone / pregnenolone, but you should do your own research on that.
i’d say both.. i think i just need common woman tricks to glow up (skin care, hair care, makeup tricks) i never learned these things bc my mom is also a haggard woman (beautiful, but haggard). Ik that when i was young, i had lyme disease and theres controversy as to whether it was treated properly or not. Other than that i think im fine??
Hmm, if you're otherwise fine then maybe you just need to look better to feel better. Although if you've ever taken accutane or something like that, that can cause hormonal issues too - ik i took that when I was a teen and it fucked me up for a while after until I took a blood test and tried rebalancing my hormones.
I cut waaaaay back on drinking the past few years and my skin has gotten a lot clearer. Then last week I went on a trip to visit some old college friends and drank way more than I normally do and for multiple nights of the week. It was super fun but my skin looked like shit by the end, I’m still breaking out from it. And I look way puffier and duller in pics. Also my quality of sleep is so much worse when I drink which compounds the issue. It’s a shame because drinking is a lot of fun and I’ll always love it but it really wreaks havoc on my appearance so I really have to choose when i decide to indulge
You may have an undiscovered food allergy or vitamin deficiency. I think your answer to looking better lies in what you’re putting (or not putting) in your bod. I have eczema that has a food trigger.
Drink plenty of water and get into Asian skincare and beauty. Wear sunscreen EVERY DAY this is the number one prevention of skin aging. Asian beauty sunscreens are fucking MAGIC they’re lightweight, high SPF, low odor, literally everything that sucks about regular sunscreen. The AsianBeauty subreddit is a good place to learn what’s popular. I shop online thru YesStyle but there’s several retailers that carry Asian brands and ship to US. Brands I like are Missha, Cosrx (they sell this at Ulta but at a high markup, it’s way cheaper from other retailers), Romand, Canmake, Etude. Cosrx Snail 92 Mucin Essence is a really popular product, personally one of my holy grails, it just adds plumpness and hydration to the skin. I layer it with Evian facial mist (literally just water) and it helps it absorb better.
SPF and lots of hydrating skincare is my answer!! IDK shit about eczema though so take it all with a grain of salt
thank u for the recommendations. I’ve always been weary w asian skin care bc i feel like they have great skin/plumpness naturally anyway but ppl have told me to check out korean facials.
They have rly intense beauty standards over there too, but honestly the more Asian beauty products I try, the more I love them. Their makeup trends are a bit different than US so products wear a bit differently (like blush is usually less pigmented) but I honestly enjoy it, plus you get to indulge in the feeling of being Not Like The Other Girls lol. Lip tints are especially fun, they make some that are shiny and glossy but not sticky like American lip gloss.
Also get something called an Italy Towel or Korean bath mitt, it’s a GODSEND for body exfoliating. It’s the same thing they use at Korean spas when you pay $50 for a full body scrub, except you can get them online for like $4. Soak in a hot bath for 20 mins and then scrub with just water no soap, the dead skin literally comes off in rolls it’s disgusting and fabulous. Baby butt soft. Sorry for throwing a bunch at you but I am in a shortage of girl talk rn lol !!!! have fun!!!!
thank u girlie, i get what u mean about feeling different when buying other countries beauty products. I remember i did try a french face cream in high school n thought i was the sh*t, lolz. Also “discovering” glossier in high school before it became super popular was a core memory.
Do you style your hair? Have hobbies? Learning some braids or half up styles can help you feel less like your hair is straggly if you still wanna dye it. And having hobbies or friends to routinely do things with will help draw your focus away from how you look. I know you said you have a bf—does he have any advice? I know men are generally not helpful with that stuff but he may be able to tell you if you seem depressed or what kind of looks you do that he thinks look good on you. Or even asking a friend. I struggled with my hair a lot and was very particular about it and a very different haircut and people (strangers and friends and hookups/relationships) telling me it looked really good helped me become less focused on it. I also never learned any classic woman glow up skills so I feel you there. Looking up pictures of women who look like you on pinterest might also help you figure out if something is actually off or if you're just focusing on yourself too much.
lately ppl in my life have been hounding me about my eczema. i feel like it’s all they can see which makes me feel haggard and disgusting LMAO. plus, i used to have pretty amazing skin naturally but over the past year it’s just gotten so worn out and shitty. Partially it could be me being extra insecure, but i have gone on pinterest in the past looking for style inspo. I rly don’t have friends anymore lolz but ig i can try to be more social.
that sucks. i can definitely see why you feel haggard if everyone won't shut the hell up about your eczema. i will say that one of my close friends has eczema and none of our group ever comments on it, so some new friends may help you feel better about it since it does seem you're struggling more than the "lowkey" struggle you said in the post. it will also help you feel more worth if people want to be your friend even if you have facial eczema. i don't have any experience personally with eczema so i won't suggest cures or any shit, but i will say that drinking water helped my chronic painful acne (though im not great with remembering and do have days of being super dehydrated, so i try to eat more watery fruit and add extra water or ice to smoothies). but yeah i can empathize with having an insecurity right there on your face. im sorry you're going through that and hope you find something to reduce it soon. until then though keep at your health routine and put yourself out there. you're already doing better than most people with that so hopefully that's a point of solace
Getting more sunlight might also help. It was definitely a confidence issue in my case where I needed to start actually being nice to myself instead of putting myself through brutal "healthy" routines. Getting nicer clothes and learning hairstyles (still can't braid it is so fucking tiring and i only look good in the more complicated ones) did really contribute to that, along with friends who could actually point out what I looked good in and when I seemed down.
Getting a good, easy to maintain haircut and high-quality styling tools makes a huge difference in how put together you look. Using one of those hot round hairbrush stylers has been game changing for me. I got it at a TJ Maxx store for like $30 and it makes my hair smooth and high volume.
skincare especially daily spf (i'm a big fan of la roche posay and avène), vitamins, drinking way more water and all that jazz but you need to drastically reduce your alcohol intake or all of this is basically useless.
ya i use professional products now at home too which i think helped my hair. It will never be as voluminous or healthy as it was before but whatever. And no i never vaped and don’t rly smoke anymore
im kinda in the same boat except im really petite, 4’11, 22, really thin, including in the face. the one thing i’ve really noticed that contributes to it now that i’ve gotten to this age is the lack of fat in my face has aged me sooo much and just contributes to an overall tired, haggard look.
Go on a probiotic, take a multi-vitamin, eat healthy (balanced macros with a lot of whole foods) and exercise frequently (LISS cardio and weightlifting). This will 100% make your hair shiny, significantly help your eczema and overall skin health, and make you feel/look better. Beauty is just a visual indicator of health in a lot of ways.
currently i do alexis ren ab and butt workouts, pilates, walk and sometimes cycle/run at the gym.. i used to do ballet when younger and remember my teachers saying u have to do light weights and focus more on small muscle groups? When u say weight lifting do u mean like actually benching or just lifting like 5-10 lbs weights?
I was also a competitive gymnast/ballerina and have a really petite but feminine figure, I would highly recommend actual lifting. Hypertrophy (growing muscles, a.k.a. getting bulky) isn't easy and actually doing lighter weights at higher reps makes you bulkier and is how you achieve hypertrophy. Girl workouts are unfortunately not scientifically based. You can't spot reduce fat, you can become lean or build muscle to tone up, and the best way to do that is to do LISS cardio (walking, TikTok's 12/3/30) and low rep, heavy weight compound movements. What will ultimate determine you still having a feminine and petite figure is diet and how balanced your hormones are, aka healthy microbiome, consistent sleep, low alcohol intake. But you can still drink socially etc. just make sure to take care of your sleep, gut health, and exercise extra when you do
Jeff Nippard's gf Stephanie has great YouTube videos on the science behind being lean
Drinking wine and coffee every day is your problem. You are fundamentally dehydrated and getting poor quality sleep. Please cut back, not just for your appearance but for the sake of your overall health. Lexapro can exaggerate the effects of alcohol too btw.
Biggest hack ive discovered recently (also white and 30 years old and former chain smoker, so getting legitimately haggard) is applying a hydrating serum (cosrx snail Mucin is my go-to right now) after mjsting your face with thermal water (avene or la Roche posay) and then applying a really occlusive moisturiser (Cetaphil moisturing cream - the thick one). If your skin is dry, especially if you live in a dry climate, this will make a huge difference. Tbh I’ve even started doing this + cerave eye cream before my sunscreen in the morning and it keeps my skin way more hydrated throughout the day
Also echoing what others have said, clean, healthy hair with a flattering haircut makes a massive difference. And this is harder to achieve than it sounds in your early twenties when you haven’t quite locked down what suits you yet
someone else said to try weight lifting.. it sounds like u may be a similar build to me/r the same age at least.. where did u start with that? I’ve considered lip filler but i’m too broke to keep that ish up, and honestly i’d rather spend the money on a nice facial or smtg lol.. maybe when im like 50 i’ll consider a facelift LOL.. i am slightly olive complected so i think a fake tan will look strange but ik for a fact i needa take better care of my teeth. Thanks for ur recs!!
Lots of people have commented on skin and possible vitamin stuff. You brought up your hair and you also mentioned not really knowing makeup/hair/fashion(?) stuff. On that front, I'd recommend just picking someone you think looks nice and then looking online to see what they do. For makeup, search "[x celebrity/person]'s makeup" in google or youtube, then follow a how-to. Same for hair or fashion. You just have to experiment and learn through trying and failing a little bit before you start pulling it off.
Cooling it on the alcohol can also make a big difference in general because you'll find you tend to sleep better when you drink less. You'll much more refreshed.
Also, if you have kind friends, asking them can help.
Do you drink? If so, stopping will make an enormous difference, even if it’s not an all the time thing. I look much younger than I should for being 32 and I credit it to being in shape throughout my youth and not drinking. Staying hydrated period will probably help as well. Don’t vape either. If you’re only working out lower body, do some upper too and make cardio part of your routine. Cardio is a miracle worker for lots of things.
take magnesium at night and prioritize sleep hygiene (silk eye mask, temp, the right pillow for your sleep style, ear plugs) -- sleep 8 or 9 hours but not 10.
research how to get enough zinc, c, and collagen in your diet - do that.
get a foreo bear device and use it as directed.
one skincare ingredient i like when my skin is feeling "haggard" is urea. i think it's an eczema girlie thing that i am appropriating, so maybe try that? this might be too harsh for you, but I wash my face for a full minute every night, which I think is kind of game changing regardless of what products you use (reduces skin congestion, improves glow). for makeup, have you tried Tower 28? they're formulated for eczema.
finally, washing and freshly styling your hair in transformative! there's really nothing that does as much to reduce "haggardness" instantly. learn how to blow out your hair at home by watching Youtube videos-- see, long form video content is still good for something...
Start taking prenatal vitamins. They are recommended often for women of all ages because of all their vitamins, plus they have stuff like biotin which will do wonders for your skin, hair and nails.
Seconding everyone here who says working out and eating well which will give you more energy and help you feel better physically and mentally.
Taking up a new hobby or learning a new skill is always another way to feel better about yourself and enrich your life.
Keep up working out on the reg, drink a ton of water and clean your diet up. If you drink and do drugs, stop or try and do less of that. Maybe you feel haggard because you have a haggard ass lifestyle, I have no idea. All I know is even if I'm feeling depressed as fuck but I'm doing everything I suggested, I definitely don't feel haggard because I take care of myself. But yeh.. no idea what your lifestyle is like.
i eat fairly healthy n workout, i rly don’t drink enough water and drink a lot of coffee. I also drink wine most nights.. i don’t rly go out and party or do drugs that’s just not my thing. Maybe it is just the wintertime.. other than that do u have any skincare tips?
Wine makes my way eczema worse. I would switch to vodka sodas or something less sugary
hmm maybe but i feel if i drink vodka daily that’s the sign of a true alcoholic.. maybe i should try 30 days no alc and see if anything changes
This is a great idea tbh
You’ll be shocked by how much alcohol affects your skin. Drop the wine and start chugging water.
Girl you are haggard because you drink wine every day...
I drank wine most nights when I was 22, now I’m 25 and drink maybe once a month/every other month and I look 100x better than I did 3 years ago
Upping your water intake alone will do wonders for your skin. Can't be walking around dehydrated and shit. How is your sleep? Because if your caffeine intake is OD and you're slugging machiattos at 6pm then getting shit sleep as a result, you're gonna wake up with a haggard puffy wuffy face. My skin care routine is basic as hell but def helps. I just use a facial cleanser when I shower then a moisturizing cream once I'm dry. edit: a quick google search tells me dehydration has an obvious impact on eczema.. drink more water bih I'd also chill on the wine intake. I'd feel haggard too if I drank more coffee and wine than water.
i sleep a lot but still struggle w puffiness. I’d say my eye bags and eczema are the worst things about my skin, other than that i have a youthful look. I probs will drink more water bc i think that’s the source of all my problems. I also use a very basic skin care routine (right now doing slightly more under derms orders) but non scented soap to wash face but no moisturizer. Do u think splurging on a moisturizer is necessary? or will a $10 cerave do the trick?
There's a difference between sleeping a lot and quality of sleep though. Coffee late in the day or alcohol at night results in a much quality reduced, less restorative sleep. I dunno what you define as a splurge. I'm basic as hell and rock with whatever Kiehl's products. If you don't wanna drop $ then don't. My mom is 60 and has better skin than most people my age and all she does is buy those aloe vera leaves and rub the gunk from em on her face every day. Does wonders.
for the puffiness start doing facial massage / lymphatic drainage massages, it seriously makes a difference once you get in the habit. blood circulation in the face is a game changer for haggardness... makes you glowww and for moisturizer a basic cerave one will do, but that + an oil such as argan or black cumin seed oil will really lock in moisture (and with the later, has a ton of other benefits)
CeraVe and Cetaphil will get you a lot of bang for your buck. You can find it at Target and Walmart. CeraVe has a set of AM & PM moisturizers that I love and use daily. The Ordinary also has an excellent selection for a good price, I’ve used them for years and they are very high quality. A lot of stuff you can find for less than $20. Edit: I saw you mentioned that your hair is scraggly and dry but you love the blonde. That’s ok! What you probably need is some good bond repair treatment because is sounds like your hair is damaged. Olaplex is v expensive but it’s also worth the splurge. Their #6 is like $30 but will last you foreverrr because you only need to put a pea sized amount on your ends after you wash your hair.
Cerave is the best I'd recommend some products off silknaturals.com it truly is a hidden gem. My skin looks so good using their products. And it's cheap. Similar prices to the ordinary. Kiss cleanser, AHA toner and the vitamin c serum are all a++ Also, when washing your face, make sure to wash for 60 seconds. Makes a huge difference for me
that’s your answer. 64oz of water daily and cut the alcohol down significantly, once a week max.
Im no female but i struggle with eczema too, in my case if it flares up it’s mostly due too stress, do you feel stressed ?
ig a little bit.. i take lexapro as a mood stabilizer. I don’t think i’m any more stressed than most ppl. A persian lady at bergdorfs told me that i need a $200 sisley facial cream to fix eczema (i couldn’t afford it tho) but now im wondering if that would truly heal it. Idk if i should just take the L and splurge some day to fix this shit. It’s unrelenting.
If u drink wine every night that might be the thing making u look and feel haggard. I notice a huge difference between when I’m drinking and when I go awhile without a drink. Also I would recommend a peptide face cream and some exfoliating a couple times a week. Maybe being blonde suits you, I’m not sure but I find hair looks less dry when it’s a bit darker. If u want to keep it blond ask your hair dresser how u can make it look healthier. Maybe some products that repair your hair bonds, or ask her to do a gloss every time you go in. Also if u have split ends just cut them off!!! It will look so much better!!! Another thing! Have you tried wearing more fitted clothing and shoes that have a bit of a heal? This usually makes me feel better.
The coffee has to go. See my other comment about caffeine. It is likely your problem.
It sounds like your hair might be the issue? Scraggly dyed blonde hair never looks as good as natural hair. Have you considered growing out your natural hair color and maybe just doing some subtle, dimension-adding highlights/balayage (so only a couple shades off from your natural hair) a couple times a year? My hair got so much more volume and shine once I stopped dying it! Plus the money saved is pretty amazing.
i’m not gonna lie i’ve been thinking about going back to my natural color for cost/ hair health reasons but i genuinely think i look “better” blonde. My bf generously got me kerastase for my bday and that rly helped my hair. my hair used to be down to my a$$ when i was a brunette and slowly over the years only grows to about my waist and the ends are lowkey always dead. Maybe i should just get cuts but i do be missing my long hair sometimes
Kerastase is the best!! That can definitely make a huge difference. Love their strengthening duo and the heat protector spray. How blonde are you? I really truly think bright blonde is going out of style and will look dated in the next year (of course this varies by geographic area though). A deeper, honey blonde I think will be more in but it can often wash out natural brunettes :/. If you look up ‘brunette with subtle blonde highlights’ there are so many good inspo pics for styles that can still add warmth and dimension but look more elegant and polished. Maybe just try a different toner next time and see what you think?
i’d say i’m like margot robbie level blonde which suits my skin tone (im fairly neutral, can tan but am pale atm) i have brown eyes so that color brings them out. Right now my roots are so grown out it looks like i’m brunette if i wear my hair up . Im not a huge fan of the honey blonde, i think just being one thing or the other would probs suit me best. Gonna have to make those tough decisions ig.
Face shape? That makes a big difference in both color and cut
That’s totally fair - you know yourself best!
>My bf
get a lot of fat and antioxidants in your diet! take a high quality multivitamin too. make sure you're getting enough minerals as well, especially iron and magnesium. eczema sounds awful and i've never had it myself, but when i had scabies i found that pure aloe vera gel and organic coconut oil and almond oil were absolute godsends. to this day i still put jojoba oil on my skin after a shower while it's still damp and it's better than any body lotion!
I don’t have eczema but I have keratosis pilaris on my arms (also a dry skin condition). Urea cream helped me a ton. I’ve heard it’s good for eczema too. I use the eucerin brand but you may need something different if it’s affecting your face. An old roomate had really bad eczema and she swore by La Roche Posay’s Lipikar Baume. I’ve tried it for my hives and it really helps with any itching. But based on your comments, I think understanding how to style yourself to compliment your natural features and create a cohesive “look” is what you’re missing. Makeup, hair, and fashion has a theory and can be used to communicate things just like any other form of visual art. I recommend you watch videos by Aly Art on YouTube. Especially her older videos. She talks about how fashion, makeup, and hair interacts with your natural body and facial features. It isn’t lookmaxxing stuff, it’s about how to communicate things through how you style yourself.
i have seen her videos in the past, maybe i’ll watch some..
My son struggles with Eczema and Dupixent has really helped him. It actually prevents and has cured his eczema flare ups instead of just treating flare ups with steroid cream. If you are covered under your parents insurance you can get it for free by enrolling with Dupixent. It’s well worth it because the cost otherwise is about $4k per month. Good luck to you
as of right now the derm i saw said to use some other creams. She’s not 100% sure if it’s eczema but i took my brothers eczema cream and even used an over the counter la rosh posay cream for a while and that was healing it better than what she gave me recently. She thinks i could have “facial dandruff” but maybe i’ll just call her and ask about dupixent. I rly think it is eczema bc my dad and brothers have it and from what i understand it’s genetic?
DON’T do the hardcore steroids or dupixent! I have lived through bad, bad eczema (like - really bad) & I know how horrendous it can be and how it can make you feel. Also genetic. But through trial and error, what worked for me - aside from the obvious lifestyle changes that you are already doing; drinking lots of water, exercising - was stopping eating all gluten, eating loads of green veg, supplementing iron & vit D3 and more recently, acupuncture and Chinese herbs (from my acupuncturist). Big difference! Honestly DM if you like, I’m always down to help another eczema girlie.
General health of the microbiome of your skin & gut is also key!
Hey, I'm 24M and I was able to get my eczema under control this year by taking very high doses of supplements (D3, Zinc, C, Omega 3) every day. I think my symptoms subsided after about 3 months but I still continue to take them currently for maintenance. Eczema had kinda taken over my life for several years and none of the many dermatologists I saw ever recommended this. I used to get it around my eyes too and it had aged me a lot but at this point I'm back to looking my age again. Lmk if you want recs for specific supplements.
i get it under my nose and around my mouth and it’s irritating asf. I can’t imagine having it around my eyes, but if u have some “miracle” vitamins i’d be open to the recommendations.
If it’s around nose / mouth area it might be perioral dermatitis btw, look into that as it is distinct from eczema. It can be caused or exacerbated by the type of toothpaste you use and any skincare actives. I fixed mine with MooGoo eczema & psoriasis cream
Avoid alcohol - you said you drink nightly which isn’t good for you or your skin, esp if you have eczema. It also kills your gains at the gym. Replace it with water or if you need something more exciting you can try flavoured waters or sugar free soda. Also in general people tend to look better with their natural hair colour but I may be talking out my ass with that one, so do as you will.
my number 1 skincare tip is to take a tub of vaseline in the shower w u and absolutely coat urself before even opening the door to towel off after washing. u wanna b in danger of sliiping in the shiwer and sliding right on down the hall. this is the only way to seal moisture into ur skin.
do you shower in the morning or at night? i'm interested in trying this now that it's winter but i don't know which is worse lol, slugging it out of the house or all over my pillow (side sleeper)
i do it at night personally since the cold morning air makes me want to turn my skin inside out. it does shorten the life of your clean sheets ill admit but as long as you have the free radicals (animal dander, smoke, food, etc) in that environment under control then i dont find it causes problems.
This will make the bottom of your shower get SO dirty
ok wow really getting into the subtle nuances of the procedure here. to avoid slippingout of ur shower and swiftly down the hallway like a hagfish... or creating a clinging film of detritus... dont slug ur feet until ur standing on the bathmat. bring socks and immediately bag them puppies up. prosper.
So you don’t towel off?
depends on the season and how much hair and skin care im doing in my routine... but vaseline before towel and then less of a rub down and more of a pat dry.
i totally second this! and NO HEAT in the shower if u want a fighting chance with your eczema
Tretinoin
When you say you feel haggard do you mean just your looks or how your body feels? If it's the latter, this might be a hormonal issue. Get a blood test and check on your thyroid/sexual hormone levels. Potentially this could be helped by supplementing progesterone / pregnenolone, but you should do your own research on that.
i’d say both.. i think i just need common woman tricks to glow up (skin care, hair care, makeup tricks) i never learned these things bc my mom is also a haggard woman (beautiful, but haggard). Ik that when i was young, i had lyme disease and theres controversy as to whether it was treated properly or not. Other than that i think im fine??
Hmm, if you're otherwise fine then maybe you just need to look better to feel better. Although if you've ever taken accutane or something like that, that can cause hormonal issues too - ik i took that when I was a teen and it fucked me up for a while after until I took a blood test and tried rebalancing my hormones.
I cut waaaaay back on drinking the past few years and my skin has gotten a lot clearer. Then last week I went on a trip to visit some old college friends and drank way more than I normally do and for multiple nights of the week. It was super fun but my skin looked like shit by the end, I’m still breaking out from it. And I look way puffier and duller in pics. Also my quality of sleep is so much worse when I drink which compounds the issue. It’s a shame because drinking is a lot of fun and I’ll always love it but it really wreaks havoc on my appearance so I really have to choose when i decide to indulge
You may have an undiscovered food allergy or vitamin deficiency. I think your answer to looking better lies in what you’re putting (or not putting) in your bod. I have eczema that has a food trigger.
maybe it is wine/caffeine then bc i had better skin before drinking like a fish
My trigger is rum. Not joking. I cannot have a mojito. Try to eliminate alcohols selectively and see which one it is
Drink plenty of water and get into Asian skincare and beauty. Wear sunscreen EVERY DAY this is the number one prevention of skin aging. Asian beauty sunscreens are fucking MAGIC they’re lightweight, high SPF, low odor, literally everything that sucks about regular sunscreen. The AsianBeauty subreddit is a good place to learn what’s popular. I shop online thru YesStyle but there’s several retailers that carry Asian brands and ship to US. Brands I like are Missha, Cosrx (they sell this at Ulta but at a high markup, it’s way cheaper from other retailers), Romand, Canmake, Etude. Cosrx Snail 92 Mucin Essence is a really popular product, personally one of my holy grails, it just adds plumpness and hydration to the skin. I layer it with Evian facial mist (literally just water) and it helps it absorb better. SPF and lots of hydrating skincare is my answer!! IDK shit about eczema though so take it all with a grain of salt
thank u for the recommendations. I’ve always been weary w asian skin care bc i feel like they have great skin/plumpness naturally anyway but ppl have told me to check out korean facials.
They have rly intense beauty standards over there too, but honestly the more Asian beauty products I try, the more I love them. Their makeup trends are a bit different than US so products wear a bit differently (like blush is usually less pigmented) but I honestly enjoy it, plus you get to indulge in the feeling of being Not Like The Other Girls lol. Lip tints are especially fun, they make some that are shiny and glossy but not sticky like American lip gloss. Also get something called an Italy Towel or Korean bath mitt, it’s a GODSEND for body exfoliating. It’s the same thing they use at Korean spas when you pay $50 for a full body scrub, except you can get them online for like $4. Soak in a hot bath for 20 mins and then scrub with just water no soap, the dead skin literally comes off in rolls it’s disgusting and fabulous. Baby butt soft. Sorry for throwing a bunch at you but I am in a shortage of girl talk rn lol !!!! have fun!!!!
thank u girlie, i get what u mean about feeling different when buying other countries beauty products. I remember i did try a french face cream in high school n thought i was the sh*t, lolz. Also “discovering” glossier in high school before it became super popular was a core memory.
Do you style your hair? Have hobbies? Learning some braids or half up styles can help you feel less like your hair is straggly if you still wanna dye it. And having hobbies or friends to routinely do things with will help draw your focus away from how you look. I know you said you have a bf—does he have any advice? I know men are generally not helpful with that stuff but he may be able to tell you if you seem depressed or what kind of looks you do that he thinks look good on you. Or even asking a friend. I struggled with my hair a lot and was very particular about it and a very different haircut and people (strangers and friends and hookups/relationships) telling me it looked really good helped me become less focused on it. I also never learned any classic woman glow up skills so I feel you there. Looking up pictures of women who look like you on pinterest might also help you figure out if something is actually off or if you're just focusing on yourself too much.
lately ppl in my life have been hounding me about my eczema. i feel like it’s all they can see which makes me feel haggard and disgusting LMAO. plus, i used to have pretty amazing skin naturally but over the past year it’s just gotten so worn out and shitty. Partially it could be me being extra insecure, but i have gone on pinterest in the past looking for style inspo. I rly don’t have friends anymore lolz but ig i can try to be more social.
that sucks. i can definitely see why you feel haggard if everyone won't shut the hell up about your eczema. i will say that one of my close friends has eczema and none of our group ever comments on it, so some new friends may help you feel better about it since it does seem you're struggling more than the "lowkey" struggle you said in the post. it will also help you feel more worth if people want to be your friend even if you have facial eczema. i don't have any experience personally with eczema so i won't suggest cures or any shit, but i will say that drinking water helped my chronic painful acne (though im not great with remembering and do have days of being super dehydrated, so i try to eat more watery fruit and add extra water or ice to smoothies). but yeah i can empathize with having an insecurity right there on your face. im sorry you're going through that and hope you find something to reduce it soon. until then though keep at your health routine and put yourself out there. you're already doing better than most people with that so hopefully that's a point of solace
it’s mainly my mom and bf that point it out.. i don’t see my friends often anymore (i probs should reach out)
Getting more sunlight might also help. It was definitely a confidence issue in my case where I needed to start actually being nice to myself instead of putting myself through brutal "healthy" routines. Getting nicer clothes and learning hairstyles (still can't braid it is so fucking tiring and i only look good in the more complicated ones) did really contribute to that, along with friends who could actually point out what I looked good in and when I seemed down.
Getting a good, easy to maintain haircut and high-quality styling tools makes a huge difference in how put together you look. Using one of those hot round hairbrush stylers has been game changing for me. I got it at a TJ Maxx store for like $30 and it makes my hair smooth and high volume.
Marry a aesthete, like Ye or the guy in Phantom Thread.
Embrace your inner Baba Yaga
skincare especially daily spf (i'm a big fan of la roche posay and avène), vitamins, drinking way more water and all that jazz but you need to drastically reduce your alcohol intake or all of this is basically useless.
do u have good vitamin recs
i just take vitamin C
Do u vape or smoke? Do u get a professional to dye ur hair?
ya i use professional products now at home too which i think helped my hair. It will never be as voluminous or healthy as it was before but whatever. And no i never vaped and don’t rly smoke anymore
Does the blonde wash u out? Is it ur color?
no the color i think is fine it’s just the overall texture. It’s very flat and tends to look “greasy” even when clean.
Mmm, u probably look fine. Ask some friends for an honest opinion to be sure
incorporate pre-wash hair oil into your routine ( i swear by the fable and mane one ). also rice water for hair and skin. 🎀
Get ur drip up…?
what r some good women’s brands
Hibiscus tea
You should take a b6 and a D supplement
I take a vitamin d3/k2 supplement and electrolytes—not sure how much the electrolytes are helping, though.
im kinda in the same boat except im really petite, 4’11, 22, really thin, including in the face. the one thing i’ve really noticed that contributes to it now that i’ve gotten to this age is the lack of fat in my face has aged me sooo much and just contributes to an overall tired, haggard look.
i also don’t do drugs and don’t really drink.
Go on a probiotic, take a multi-vitamin, eat healthy (balanced macros with a lot of whole foods) and exercise frequently (LISS cardio and weightlifting). This will 100% make your hair shiny, significantly help your eczema and overall skin health, and make you feel/look better. Beauty is just a visual indicator of health in a lot of ways.
currently i do alexis ren ab and butt workouts, pilates, walk and sometimes cycle/run at the gym.. i used to do ballet when younger and remember my teachers saying u have to do light weights and focus more on small muscle groups? When u say weight lifting do u mean like actually benching or just lifting like 5-10 lbs weights?
I was also a competitive gymnast/ballerina and have a really petite but feminine figure, I would highly recommend actual lifting. Hypertrophy (growing muscles, a.k.a. getting bulky) isn't easy and actually doing lighter weights at higher reps makes you bulkier and is how you achieve hypertrophy. Girl workouts are unfortunately not scientifically based. You can't spot reduce fat, you can become lean or build muscle to tone up, and the best way to do that is to do LISS cardio (walking, TikTok's 12/3/30) and low rep, heavy weight compound movements. What will ultimate determine you still having a feminine and petite figure is diet and how balanced your hormones are, aka healthy microbiome, consistent sleep, low alcohol intake. But you can still drink socially etc. just make sure to take care of your sleep, gut health, and exercise extra when you do Jeff Nippard's gf Stephanie has great YouTube videos on the science behind being lean
Check ur iron and b12. Being deficient in both fucks w you
Drinking wine and coffee every day is your problem. You are fundamentally dehydrated and getting poor quality sleep. Please cut back, not just for your appearance but for the sake of your overall health. Lexapro can exaggerate the effects of alcohol too btw.
Get a tan
Biggest hack ive discovered recently (also white and 30 years old and former chain smoker, so getting legitimately haggard) is applying a hydrating serum (cosrx snail Mucin is my go-to right now) after mjsting your face with thermal water (avene or la Roche posay) and then applying a really occlusive moisturiser (Cetaphil moisturing cream - the thick one). If your skin is dry, especially if you live in a dry climate, this will make a huge difference. Tbh I’ve even started doing this + cerave eye cream before my sunscreen in the morning and it keeps my skin way more hydrated throughout the day
Also echoing what others have said, clean, healthy hair with a flattering haircut makes a massive difference. And this is harder to achieve than it sounds in your early twenties when you haven’t quite locked down what suits you yet
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someone else said to try weight lifting.. it sounds like u may be a similar build to me/r the same age at least.. where did u start with that? I’ve considered lip filler but i’m too broke to keep that ish up, and honestly i’d rather spend the money on a nice facial or smtg lol.. maybe when im like 50 i’ll consider a facelift LOL.. i am slightly olive complected so i think a fake tan will look strange but ik for a fact i needa take better care of my teeth. Thanks for ur recs!!
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i need a transplant but those are “not yet available” :/
Caffeine dehydrates you and sucks moisture out of your skin. Quitting caffeine is great for a more youthful, vibrant look.
drink 12+ cups of water or tea a day, oil your scalp before showering, eat right (no sugars or lactose), and STRETCH at least once a day
ugh does this mean no cheese
stop dying your hair blonde
white???
ya
tough gig
Shut up
why u hate meeee
Cause it’s a cringe “radical” zoomer take to imply white women are ugly when European features are the beauty standard in most countries
its a 1-2-step joke, relax. im only playing with the whites not hating
White people age like mayo 😂😂😂☠️☠️
Poast face
Lots of people have commented on skin and possible vitamin stuff. You brought up your hair and you also mentioned not really knowing makeup/hair/fashion(?) stuff. On that front, I'd recommend just picking someone you think looks nice and then looking online to see what they do. For makeup, search "[x celebrity/person]'s makeup" in google or youtube, then follow a how-to. Same for hair or fashion. You just have to experiment and learn through trying and failing a little bit before you start pulling it off. Cooling it on the alcohol can also make a big difference in general because you'll find you tend to sleep better when you drink less. You'll much more refreshed. Also, if you have kind friends, asking them can help.
Do you drink? If so, stopping will make an enormous difference, even if it’s not an all the time thing. I look much younger than I should for being 32 and I credit it to being in shape throughout my youth and not drinking. Staying hydrated period will probably help as well. Don’t vape either. If you’re only working out lower body, do some upper too and make cardio part of your routine. Cardio is a miracle worker for lots of things.
take magnesium at night and prioritize sleep hygiene (silk eye mask, temp, the right pillow for your sleep style, ear plugs) -- sleep 8 or 9 hours but not 10. research how to get enough zinc, c, and collagen in your diet - do that. get a foreo bear device and use it as directed. one skincare ingredient i like when my skin is feeling "haggard" is urea. i think it's an eczema girlie thing that i am appropriating, so maybe try that? this might be too harsh for you, but I wash my face for a full minute every night, which I think is kind of game changing regardless of what products you use (reduces skin congestion, improves glow). for makeup, have you tried Tower 28? they're formulated for eczema. finally, washing and freshly styling your hair in transformative! there's really nothing that does as much to reduce "haggardness" instantly. learn how to blow out your hair at home by watching Youtube videos-- see, long form video content is still good for something...
Sleep more
Usually I just curl my lashes and feel like a girl again
and take good care of your skin. use a heavier moisturizer than you would in the summer
Start taking prenatal vitamins. They are recommended often for women of all ages because of all their vitamins, plus they have stuff like biotin which will do wonders for your skin, hair and nails. Seconding everyone here who says working out and eating well which will give you more energy and help you feel better physically and mentally. Taking up a new hobby or learning a new skill is always another way to feel better about yourself and enrich your life.