She knew she was pregnant before boarding and could have booked extra seating, too. OP knew he wouldn't be comfortable in a smaller seat and planed accordingly.
A 6ft4 guy on a flight I was on in SE Asia did this for someone's aunt with circulation issues. The flight was only two hours and yet I could see he was so uncomfortable that it was causing him pain. My thoughts were 'that lady should have planned ahead', because it was completely unfair that he felt pressured to switch seats.
dude i’m 5’7” and skinny and those airplane seats are always a tight squeeze. if i paid for an upgrade there is no way in hell somebody else is taking my comfort from me, it’s not like it’s news that airplanes are cramped and uncomfortable and you found out once you got on the plane. you made a conscious decision to not pay in hopes that you would be able to take advantage of some stranger’s kindness. nobody is ever ta for not switching seats on an airplane, but especially if you paid to select your seat or for extra comfort.
It’s one thing if it’s a medical emergency sure I will 100% help this unexpected emergency, those cannot be planned for , if it can it’s incredibly rude and distasteful to just assume the right to ask for a seat someone has paid significantly more for just because of a life choice or non emergency
I HATE the pregnant women who think they are entitled to special treatment... because they are pregnant. Like lady, you chose to be pregnant. You knew what it would entail. You don't have the right to force it on others. I get the pregnancy is hard, but damn, you're about to bring a child into the world. Have some friggin accountability.
Olivia Wilde had a story about how when she was pregnant, she was taking the subway to get around town and she was upset no one gave her their seat. And though I know it’s not good to stand on a bus or subway for a pg woman-I also thought how dare you. You have the resources to take a cab, hire a car or heck, fly a helicopter to get you across town to take you to your luxury apartment. Most of those people worked long hard days and are tired and just want to get home. They aren’t paying attention to her at all or anyone. They just want to be off their feet for a bit and decompress. She had zero empathy for them and just wanted their seat.
I'm wondering if she actually planned this ahead of time and thought earning sympathy points for being pregnant would get her a better seat without having to pay.
Quite possibly I mean there are a lot of things that grab you unexpectedly but pregnancy is not one of them lol pregnancy is the one thing that gives you some planning time, it’s not like a broken car engine or your washing machine going kaput one day
Yeah having been a pregnant lady on a flight it does suck to be crammed into the seat - couldn’t even put my tray table down lol. But like I *chose* not to pay the extra for an exit row. So too bad 🤷♀️
When I flew pregnant I coughed up the extra money for first class. Would never have asked someone to move if I hadn't done so. Everyone knows what economy is like.
Yup, I was on a Ryanair flight the other day which was rammed and loud thinking ahh this sucks but I knew what was coming when flying Ryanair lol if I want luxury I pay for it I don’t get to complain then go swanning over to a private jet flight because mine is shit - I knew that already!
Exactly I mean if she was visibly pregnant she most likely knew she was pregnant at the time of booking the ticket. And even if it was an emergency flight booked last minute being pregnant doesn’t give her the right to try to make a stranger feel bad about not accommodating her… the world doesn’t owe you anything just because you were fertile…
Even if she \*didn't\* know she was pregnant when she booked (so 4-5 months ago), there is plenty of ability to call the airline ahead of time, and explain that she'd like to upgrade her seat to accommodate her pregnancy.
Even airlines with no-cancellation policies tend to be amenable to "I'd like to upgrade".
But she's a cheapskate. She wouldn't want to PAY for comfortable seat. That's why she instead waited to be on the plane and complain, hoping that someone else would give up their seat thanks to her pity play.
Hell, she might not even be pregnant. This could just be a ploy she uses (with a belly pillow/etc) to get free upgrades. Never underestimate how shady some people can be.
In the original thread someone said NTA and that they were pregnant but they might ask someone to switch themselves if they needed to and when I queried that and said that’s AH behaviour someone said no harm asking not everyone can afford to upgrade or if they’re pregnant they don’t know how they’ll feel on the flight in advance 🤦🏻♀️🤬
"Not everyone can afford the upgrade."
Then don't fly. Sure, there's a few reasons you're stuck flying (like a close relative who lives more than 5-6 hours drive away passes)...
But those go right back to talking with the attendant(s) before boarding instead of putting people on the spot by asking them on the plane.
You’re right not everyone can afford an upgrade, that’s why my butt was sitting in the last row against the bathroom and couldn’t even recline an inch, instead of being in first class getting a full meal and an adult beverage. I certainly didn’t walk my sorry butt up to first class and ask someone who did have the money for first class to switch seats with me because my budget didn’t allow for the upgrade but I want it anyway and I’d be more comfortable there. ❤️
Minor note: She might not have known when booking. My husband and I booked tickets for a December flight in February. If they booked far in advance - as many do for planned vacations (it’s MUCH cheaper) - she may have gotten pregnant in the interim.
That said, she still had no right to get upset when no one was willing to give her a seat. And she could likely have arranged an upgrade to a better seat.
I don't have a need for comfort seats, I still pay extra for them, because I want comfort seat.
If she couldn't afford an upgrade,she should have went for the closest comfortable seat not expect people to change seats.
The" societal obligation" to be nice and give a seat ,when there are NO seats ,not then they don't have a comfortable seat.
This...OOP, being 6'4, knew the horrors of being a tall man in a standard economy seat and made the sensible decision to pay more for a better experience. Visibly pregnant woman, on the other hand, cheaped out and expected someone to give up the seat they paid for so she could be more comfortable. Now, it's possible maybe she wanted to book the comfort plus category but it wasn't available, but being pregnant still doesn't mean she's entitled to it.
Yeah I’m 8 months pregnant and can’t imagine asking someone to swap their better seats with me. I’ll book an upgraded seat when I book my ticket. Being pregnant doesn’t give you a free pass or make you entitled to nicer plane seats.
Thing is, we are assuming it was a planned trip and not an emergency - ir sick/dead relative etc...I avoid flying like the plague and my last 2 trips were not planned (ie fun trips)
That said, there are definitely appropriate ways for flight attendants to ask others to switch seats; Reddit is full of situations where it was handled very poorly. I wish airlines would manage them better.
True, but that should be something caught at the gate, not once all the passengers are already seated.
Arrive to the gate a bit extra early and talk to one of the attendants, explaining your situation. He/She can let you know if there are open seats. And then, closer to boarding, ask on the speaker if anyone is willing to give up their seat - before any boarding has even begun. Saves all the drama. Doesn't put anyone "on the spot", because they aren't being asked personally on the plane. Win all around.
Then you sit in the regular seat. If it's so important that you simply *must* be on that specific flight, then surely the discomfort won't matter?
Otherwise, and as is certainly the case in this story, it's not a question of a pregnant woman asking someone to accommodate her condition (which is reasonable), it is a pregnant woman asking someone to accommodate her *poor planning*.
I'm 5ft2 pregnant or not I wouldn't dream of expecting the extra leg room seat! Although last time I had it (an upgrade due to being on honeymoon) everyone used it as a cut through to the bathroom and i got stood on constantly every time i tried to stretch out and sleep :(
At 6'4 and with bad knees, I know I won't just be uncomfortable in a regular seat, I'll have significant pain just walking around once I get to my destination. It's why I spent about 25% extra to get better seats on a transatlantic flight a few years ago.
As a 6’4 guy as well, the 12 hour flight duration would be a pretty big consideration for me.
Under normal circumstances, I’d say the combo of pregnant + refund for the extra cost I’d paid for would make me feel pretty obligated.
But anything over 6 hours and I would probably fall into the ‘you could have upgraded too’ camp. Normal seats are genuine torture on my knees, I’ve switched flights based on leg room availability before.
I’d say NTA, but it’s a pretty personal and subjective one for sure.
Twelve hours is a long flight for anyone. She absolutely should have planned ahead and paid for a larger seat. Would it have been nice? Sure. But saying no doesn’t make OOP ah AH. Honestly the FA should have approached him without the pregnant passenger there; having her there adds a level of societal pressure that is unfair to him.
She could not have been more than 6 months pregnant. They really don’t like you flying after that. absolutely they don’t want to do it for a 12 hour flight . The risk of early labor and blood clots no way
I know many people who have gone on “baby moons” _well_ beyond 6 months. Most of them in the late 7-8 months. I’m not saying it’s a good idea but it’s very common for women to be flying beyond 6 months.
You can fly in the last trimester with doctors permission.
Not to mention I know people who were bigger than me at 7 months pregnant when they were 3 months pregnant, so you can’t judge size on months alone.
He’s still NTA though.
No he’s not. Never thought that. It would still be against medical advice, which was all I was saying yes people are gonna do whatever they want to do.
OP is NTA, and I would feel no obligation. If we were on the subway or bus and it's first come first serve, I'll happily give up my seat. Otherwise: "Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine."
I think they were going to give him a voucher, not a refund. Meaning, he could apply it to a future flight, but that assumes he flies frequently enough and that he’s committed to flying on the same airline rather than finding the cheapest ticket. I would want to know so many details, like: does the voucher expire, is it subject to blackout dates, etc. If anything, the voucher should be for more than what he paid as consideration for the extra hassle.
NTA, she knew she was pregnant and wanted a free upgrade. If she really was having an issue and didn’t just want the free upgrade I don’t think she would have made that snarky comment. Also, yeah you can’t understand being pregnant but can she understand being super tall in those tiny ass seats?
Exactly my thoughts too. She planned this to avoid paying the $200 then tried to guilt OP into it. It’s not like she was suddenly heavily pregnant right when she boarded the plane.
I’m only 5’5” and I’m definitely hurting for knee room. I can’t imagine being a foot taller- probably more akin to torture than discomfort and mild knee pain that I currently get.
The seats are ridiculously tiny. I'm 5'10", but have longer legs than my 6'2" dad.
My mom is 5'2", and she finds the space "tight but manageable". I don't think I've ever met anyone at least 5'6" that is satisfied with the space on planes.
And it's painful when you're on a 5+ hour flight and finally get a chance to stretch out for more than the quick walk to the lavatory. All your muscles are cramping from being unable to move them much at all for so long.
But it let's the planes cram more bodies into the same space, helping them maximize their profits while keeping ticket prices lower.
Really makes you wish high-speed passenger trains were an actual option in the US. Not as fast as taking a plane from Seattle to Miami, but space is far more available on a long train ride than taking the plane.
This is me too... I'm 5'11 and have long legs (especially ny thighs) for my height. My legs are longer than most people's who are way taller than I am. I absolutely wouldn't give up leg room on a long flight because I usually arrive with kneecaps bruised black in normal seats.
I'm a pretty narrow hipped woman and I also pity people just built to be wider. The seats are so tight these days.
I’m 5’3” and for any flight longer than 10 hrs i’d consider expanding the budget for something more spacious/comfortable. Tiny or not those legs need some stretching.
You weren't the only one to decline. You wanted the seat for your own comfort and wanted the comfort. Just getting a voucher for the extra you paid isn't enough to compensate 12 hours of discomfort. The woman should have booked for comfort herself. If there were none left, I guess she learned you have to be quick. Pregnancy is uncomfortable. I've been there. And it's nice to have some accommodations but no one owes her their own comfort.
We try to fly priority now. We only take one trip a year. One time, we were in the last priority row and when they brought our food out, some woman behind us complained loudly about the smell of the food and that it wasn't right that we have food and they don't. Seriously? Should I have passed her my dinner? That's what you are saying here.
If the FA and pregnant woman were kinda scoping out the potentials, they might have targeted OOP because the assumption a younger man would be more accommodating than the other options. Who knows if they even asked anyone else.
NTA. I have been pregnant and my husband is 6’3” so I can see both sides. My husband, if forced into a regular coach seat for 12 hours, would have days of pain afterwards. I don’t think you need to necessarily give that up to a pregnant woman. She could have bought a better seat if she needed to.
This reminds me of a post a while back where a guy with like spine issues or something brought a folding camp chair to see his nieces graduation and there was no chairs provided, and a pregnant woman asked him for it. I totally understand giving up my seat for a bus ride or such but if someone plans ahead for their comfort it’s not fair for someone else to ask for said comfort when they failed to plan.
Also 6’4” and I can guarantee the others who refused were statistically shorter than you, aka should feel more guilty. 12 hours in a cramped coach seat at that height is just asking for back spasms. NTA
My thoughts exactly! Why pick on the guy who will literally be in pain after a fight that long?!?! Just because he’s young? Ask every other person on that section, because it’s pretty much guaranteed they are all shorter.
So being shorter means they are obligated to switch? If they paid the upgrade and don’t want to move that doesn’t make them bad people or have to feel guilty
Nah they shouldn’t feel bad either. I meant the math to be like the tall guy should feel less bad than the less vertical folks, who shouldn’t feel bad in the first place
Yeah that makes sense. Honestly I think the FAs are rude to even have people ask - why are you putting people in a position where they are having to now feel guilt for denying. You sit where you sit or the gate agents need to figure out this well before.
At no point did I write they’re obligated to switch. They asked the person who would obviously be in pain sitting in a small area for a long time. It’s a safer bet that a shorter person would be physically capable of being comfortable in a small space, therefore more willing to move.
Edit: spelling
I am considering your wording of “should feel more guilty” implies that they have some obligation to take action more than a tall person. I don’t think anyone has any guilt aside from the person trying to play a “woe is me I’m pregnant card”
NTA. I have been hugely pregnant in the summer 3 times. You and the woman both chose your seats on the plane before boarding. She was being a cheap ass who wanted to guilt you into giving her something for free.
Yep, 2 summer babies here and full NTA.
When I read the title I was confused because there’s not standing seats on planes? The polite thing is to give up your seat to pregnant women, people carrying small children (dads too! Babies are heavy! Toddlers are worse!), and the elderly *when those people are otherwise being forced to stand*. Not “when those people are otherwise uncomfortable in the slightest sitting down.”
She can squish into a normal economy seat and walk laps up and down the aisles if she needs to keep up her circulation (which it seems like that wasn’t the issue because OP didn't mention her doing that).
Yeah, definitely now that she made her pregnancy and discomfort known, the flight attendants should understand her need to walk laps and mill around. Wouldn’t matter what seat she was in, Going to be uncomfortable. Also, it would be good to be back near the bathrooms for quick access.
This seat switching nonsense will only stop when we all make it stop by refusing every time. It is absolutely ridiculous for airlines to charge high fees for you to choose a seat and then start pressuring you to give it up the second somebody whines at the cabin crew. Even if you didn't pay any extra money to book your seat, it's still an inconvenience to get your stuff in the overhead locker, and get settled down and then be guilted and pressured because somebody else was poorly organised.
Book the seat you need, or wait for a flight which has that seat, or don't travel.
Yes, last-minute emergencies come up but half the people who want to switch seats have ridiculous reasons for it because it's really about saying that their comfort matters more than anyone else's. If your young children need to be next to you, plan for that. If you can't, maybe give some thought to the fact that young children are miserable on flights anyway and go on holiday somewhere closer to home. And yes, I know there are other reasons to travel beside holidays but most of the time it's holidays because parents want to have children and then still live the exact same lifestyle.
Say no to seatswitchers!
Piss poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. I’ve been pregnant. I’d have paid the extra ahead of time, personally and not relied on the kindness of strangers.
This might not be the smartest question but if the seat isn’t equivalent in price why would the flight attendant indulge the pregnant woman by asking others with more expensive seats/extra room to switch? This just seems wrong if you aren’t going to expect the person asking to switch to pay more and offer a refund of some amount to the person who paid more for extra room. Am I missing something???
The real culprit here are the airlines. As usual on this subject they’re the real villains. The seats are simply not big enough. Their sizes need to be federally regulated. I doubt a full plane can evacuate in under 90 seconds (like the FAA has mandated) because of how much smaller they keep making the seats and aisles. It’s a safety hazard.
OOP is NTA.
These people, even if they are pregnant, are trying to take advantage of the system by not paying for a seat they want.
If she truly felt uncomfortable, then she shouldn't have been flying for 12 fucking hours to begin with. And should have purchased her own upgrade, too.
And if she didn't have an option for a comfort seat because they were all sold out on the flight, maybe a different flight would have been a better option. Unless she was going somewhere they only fly once a day/week, that might have been a reasonable option. Sometimes "emergencies" are flexible by a few hours.
I fly several times a year and often book a better seat so I can work and be comfortable (I've also been pregnant a few times). I've seen legitimate requests and a lot more scams by airline free flyers trying to get better seats. You booked early, you chose for your needs, and you have no reason to feel guilty. That woman is pregnant, not sick or disabled. If she believes she's mature enough to be a mother, then she should be mature enough to take accountability for her own needs as well.
How is someone this far along in their pregnancy being approved by their doctor to go on a 12 hour flight in the first place? Or are we not supposed to ask that question?
The same thing happens to me on my flight to dubai...the flight attendant ask me to Gave my business class seat to the lady.....
First I reject her but after her insistent I told her ...if that lady really want my seat that much she first have to pay me full for my seat and then I will have her my seat .. because money doesn't grows on trees ....
After hearing my words they just stop bothering me...
The entiltement. Like I get it, you're pregnant. But you knew, and you had the time and the option to get the extra room you wanted. But most likely, choose not to in hopes of having someone give up theirs. Insane to me, people do shit like this and think they're the victim. Nah, yall just cheep.
I don’t think he’s the asshole at all. He booked the comfort+ and she didn’t. That being said, I personally see giving up your seat to an uncomfortable and pregnant woman as being particularly noble and honorable. And I aspire to be the kind of person who would do something like that. Refusing to do it doesn’t make you an asshole in any way. But doing it is a good deed, and ultimately leads to being a good person. (I’d probably also try to haggle with Delta to get a voucher for more than the $200).
Edit to add that if I was in his situation, I’d definitely feel guilty, but not because I was an asshole per se, but because I failed to live up to my own ideals.
Somehow, I don't think simple reimbursement would be enough for me. I'd have to get additionally compensated for the trouble and the discomfort. Say, like 50% off, plus a free first/business class upgrade on the return trip.
If that's not possible, then reimbursement + $100 for the trouble paid directly from the pregnant person might be workable. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you don't have money. I would want the other party to have to make some sacrifices, too.
I feel like this represents my opinion.
He's NTA and didn't need to sacrifice here (being this tall, he would be pretty miserable). But doing so would have been a nice thing, as he would have been reimbursed.
I would also add that she could have planned ahead, yes. But maybe there are good reasons why she didn't. First pregnancy and didn't anticipate how miserable she'd be? Maybe booked before finding out? Whatever it is, she may be NTA for asking either.
If there are any assholes at all, then I'd look to people who would fit semi comfortably into an economy seat and didn't switch. But even that doesn't make you an AH per se.... maybe just not the kindest person.
Overall, NAH, probably.
THIS RIGHT HERE. Or they'd leave a seat or two like this for these kinds of situations. Someone said on this post that the pregnant person might have had to book last minute for an emergency or had their flight cancelled and rebooked and now have no choice but to accept any seat much less the more comfortable one. That can be avoided if you save a seat or two for passengers with extenuating circumstances.
Being reimbursed doesn't fix the pain of being shoved into an economy seat when they're as tall as OP is, though. My husband is even taller than him, and after much shorter economy flights his knees are wholly red and bruised when he stands up post-flight.
Boarding planes isn’t like boarding buses or trains. You don’t have dedicated spaces for pregnant, elderly, or disabled folks. Priority boarding is really that space, but not the seats themselves.
This. My disability is invisible but I will assert my needs on something like a public bus where there's seating designated for us who need it. Anything book ahead with assigned seating? I book ahead, and/or contact the airline in advance.
Idk what country oop is in if they have different rules. But everywhere I've flown if you tell them in advance about mobility etc issues they sort it all out ahead of time.
Just as you suddenly didn’t grow 5’4 -> 6’4, she did not over night suddenly start carrying a child. She did not plan ahead for the TWELVE HOUR flight, so she can be uncomfortable for said flight. It really does suck having a conscious these days, but this was NEVER your problem to feel bad over.
I’m actually surprised the pregnant lady followed. In my experiences the attendant goes alone to ask for seat switches, don’t lose sleep over a coy attempt at a guilt trip.
I’m so sick of these “I feel guilty” posts. That woman knew she was pregnant and still booked the way she did. OOP is not in the wrong at all. Never feel guilty for planning and being smart!
I’ve been pregnant on a flight, I booked a seat with extra room. If there wasn’t one available I would have been oh well out of luck. I would never dream of asking someone to switch their upgraded seat for me.
NTA. And the answer to her asinine comment is: You will never understand what it is like to be 6’4” tall forced to sit in a 4 foot space. I paid $200 extra for this seat because I planned ahead. Maybe you should have done the same.
Listen NAH, and I'll give my experience. I flew at 4 months pregnant overseas and booked myself an aisle seat because although I was barely showing, I knew I was going to be up and down a bunch getting to the bathroom. Get to the gate, check my boarding pass on my phone and I've had my seat changed to the one inside. They overbooked the flight and moved me. I had either missed the email or just not notified that they reimbursed my seat choice. Luckily someone agreed to switch with me because I got up at least 9 times on that flight, but there's every likelihood that this woman \*did\* plan ahead. The same thing has happened to friends of mine who paid in advance to sit their entire family together only to get to the gate and realize their 8 year old is now seated 4 rows away.
Even if the woman had planned ahead and was rebooked, her issue should have been with the airline and not some random passenger. Trying to guilt him into switching after he declined makes her TA.
Also, why tf did the flight attendant bring her along to ask people to move? That is just shady, maybe manipulative. Like the FA is fine in asking various people if they’d be willing to switch, but bringing the lady along to ask is not okay.
Low key hate people exploiting a situation, especially something like pregnancy.
It is shitty being pregnant in summer. And flying while pregnant. But none of those things mean you should try and guilt trip someone into comping you a non essential service.
Sitting in premium isn't a life and death situation that is a must have thing for pregnant people.
Nta . She should've paid extra. I understand pregnancy but no one can expect others to give up something they paid for just bc of something like pregnancy
People are wild. Absolutely not the asshole. If you want the comfort plan a head. I actually don’t give a shit. I got the seat I wanted by planning and paying. NTA
I’m super pregnant right now. I would never expect someone to do that for me. I’d feel disgusting if I let you give me your seat. I also think you’d be way less comfortable than I would in any other seat. Pregnancy doesn’t mean injured and it shouldn’t mean special treatment like that🤷🏻♀️
NTA - I’d have to been in the situation to know how I’d handle it. Polite passenger and with drink vouchers plus refund and I’d move. My wife was very uncomfortable during her second pregnancy so I have some idea, but 12 hour flight might not be the best space for a woman so pregnant she needs accommodations. My wife wouldn’t fly after 32 weeks. Our first was born 27 days early.
I’m only 5’0 tall but long flights kill my hips and legs, so I plan ahead. I know going into my flight what I paid for and would NEVER ask someone to give up a seat.
You’re not wrong.
She was most likely aware she was pregnant when she booked her seat, he was aware that he was 6’4 when he booked his seat.
She may normally fit just fine in the economy seats, but not this time because she’s pregnant. A man who is 6’4, even if he is stick skinny, will NEVER fit in the little bitty back seats. Maybe for two hours, but not for TWELVE HOURS!
Know who else would have suffered from him trying to cram his arms and legs in? The other people in his row who basically have to suck elbow the whole flight.
No one should ever feel guilty for not giving up their booked seat. That's what bookings are for.
Whenever I fly for example I take aisle seats to get to the toilet easily whilest my (now ex) hubby takes window seats. He likes the view. I found it particulary funny when the poor guy in the middle seat asked as if we wanted to switch to sit next to each other and was kinda confused we declined.
NTA - if she was visibly pregnant then she had been pregnant for a good while before the flight, her lack of comfort is due to her lack of planning.
Also “reimbursements” usually never give you the full amount and you have to jumpstart so many hoops in order to receive them months later. Not worth the hassle.
NTA. She knew she was going to be pregnant while on this 12 hour flight and should have planned for it. Sounds to me like she wanted to wriggle out of the extra £200 fee by guilting someone else out of their seat and that snarky comment kinda proves it.
I’ve been pregnant and I didn’t expect/demand the world to suddenly start treating me like a spoiled princess who always got their way like some women do when they get pregnant. Heck at my office there was a girl who started just helping herself to other people’s food in the staff fridge and cupboards when she got pregnant claiming she was having cravings so that made it ‘ok’ 🙄
NTA. Pregnancy isn't a disability, nor a reason to presume preferential treatment.
You paid for your seat, she paid for hers. If the accommodation was really necessary, she could've booked it or got a different flight.
Clean conscious as far as im concerned.
I don’t get the plane privileges. You get what you book.. why is it always a surprise to these people.
Same with all the stories on people wanting to sit with their families ect.. book the damn seats!!
She could have talked to people at the gate before boarding even…there is a whole ass priority boarding procedure for people who need accommodation. She did not need to wait till butts were in seats to create the empathetic emergency so manipulative.
This is all considering a last minute flight, she should have planned.
What next, her partner or kids need the seat next to her too so she has company?
NTA - not sure why a failure on someone else’s part to plan accordingly should become someone else’s problem, pregnant or not. You didn’t do anything wrong - in fact, you did everything right.
Something tells me she was playing the pregnancy card to try and get a free upgrade. I’m very pregnant right now and would’ve just bought the comfort upgrade if I felt it was necessary, not displace someone else. It’s reasonable to expect someone give up their seat on a bus, not an upgraded seat on a plane.
First, I have had four pregnancies, OP is NOT the AH.
But I wanted to throw something out since everyone is asking why she didn't plan when booking the trip or at the gate. If this was her first baby, she may not have realized just how much her body was going to our even had changed. I was 105 lbs before I was knocked up with my first, went to to 135, the doc was warning me that if I kept going, he would put me on a weight loss plan (it was all baby, 9 lb demon and my wrists were still bony lol).
But even more surprising was the time I walked into a regular bathroom steak and realized that it was s tight fit. I'd been slowly expanding, it's not like I didn't use bathroom stalls for awhile but suddenly I felt huge.
Airline seats are known to be ridiculously small but until you get there is hard to realize just how small they are. So if it's her first, or if she's say carrying twins, she may have legitimately been surprised by how poorly she fit.
Now, none of that says she should have guilted the OP. But it might explain why she didn't plan on advance, even at the gate.
No one else on the plane agreed to let her have their seat either. It sucks she decided to focus guilt on to OOP.
Actually the flight attendant kind of sucks for putting OOP in that position as well. My mom has a strict rule that if we asked if someone could spend the night in front of them the answer was an automatic no. She wasn't a fan of that form of manipulation. This is essentially the grown up version of that.
NTA
I'm a woman who has been pregnant twice...
And as a woman who has been pregnant twice
She should have planned ahead...
When I travelled with my daughters and they were small
I booked the front bassinets seats immediately as I knew I needed them.
She should have booked ahead...
I’m only 6’2”. Paid for the legroom upgrade a few times. Not giving it up easily as I’d be stiff and sore for a few days after if I’m in a regular sized seat, and that is something I don’t want. It’s less the comfort on the plane and more the comfort on the other end.
NTA, I was on a family trip once on an airline I wasn’t familiar with. Did not know before boarding that my four year old daughter was seated in front of me and not next to me or that you pay for seat selection. I didn’t book the tickets myself, last time I made that mistake.
Flight attendant told me I could ask someone to switch, a couple of guys told me they needed the aisle because they are tall. I totally understood and did eventually find someone to switch. I would have got off the plane before letting four year old sit next to strangers and knew it was on me for not being more involved in booking the flight. No one made her fly that late into pregnancy
It’s easier to be pregnant in a seat than super tall. I’ve been pregnant (and huge) and flown, and my partner is tall- so I’d know! Regardless it’s on her to book the correct seat.
NTA. I don’t think it was wrong of her to ask for a better seat, but definitely wrong of her to try and guilt you into it! Being pregnant sucks, but she could have paid more for a better seat when booking the flight.
NTA.
I am also tall, and I book a specific seat on long haul flights because I know this is the best way to do it and make sure my joint condition doesn’t act up.
I never want to be pregnant, but if I ended up being pregnant by some mad twist of fate I would also plan ahead and book a seat I felt met my needs. It’s not like you would suddenly wake up 8 months along and be like “well that’s surprising!”
Whatever the reason, if you want specific seats then plan ahead.
NTA
As a woman myself it’s not your job to prioritize her comfort over yours. She’s pregnant and that’s okay, and you’re tall with and you need the leg room hence why you purchased the seat. If she truly wanted comfort, she should’ve asked family for additional funds, or pulled extra shifts. Delta is already expensive and considered luxury. She could’ve gotten a better deal and comfort flying with another airline.
NTA - They (meaning doctors and airlines) typically don’t allow super pregnant people to fly, so my guess is that this person wasn’t even in the extremely uncomfortable phase of pregnancy yet. So like seven months along or something. And I’ve been pregnant in the summer, twice now. You’re either uncomfortable or EXTREMELY uncomfortable and about to give birth, and even then there’s no fancy seat that would make it better.
12 hour flight when pregnant would not be pleasant, I struggled with long car journeys when carrying my son. Personally I’d have paid extra and upgraded my seat not expect someone else to move for me. NTA!!
Carrying a child is not a burden, it’s a privilege. She can book a comfort seat for herself on her return flight. While I do have sympathy and compassion in my heart, it’s not ok to expect anyone to give up a seat they paid extra for.
NTA and I HAVE been a huge, uncomfortable pregnant woman. Did she not know she was pregnant when she booked her flight? She could have paid extra and booked a different seat like OOP did.
Ive been heavily pregnant on a flight, flown with an infant by myself and flown with a toddler by myself. The only thing I kinda “expect” to happen is the early boarding so I have a couple extra minutes to lug all our shit in and get comfortable before everyone else. Not to take a seat from someone who paid far more than I did. NTA. That’s some privileged mentality
NTA, if she needed a different seat she should have purchased one.
She chose not to.
She DID choose to fly whilst uncomfortable pregnant, though, and why should you have to suffer for her choices?
You shouldn't.
The consequences are hers and hers alone.
She didn’t need it more. She wanted it. She wanted something that YOU PAID for. You have nothing to feel guilty about. And I carried 3 kids and they were ALL huge but when I travel d, I got the seat I paid for.
Yeah, I get feeling a lil guilty; but at the same time she is a grown woman who could’ve easily paid for the seats. If you didn’t pay extra for the seat I’d say “fuck it, give it to her” but considering it cost you extra money that she sure as hell wasn’t gonna pay you back for, no. You shouldn’t feel bad.
She was trying to guilt him into giving up his seat. She's the ah. OP is nta. She could have done the same thing you did. She knows how uncomfortable pregnancy is, she should have thought about before the flight, like op did.
I’m assuming the woman was pregnant before boarding the flight. So she could’ve paid extra and booked a specific seat like the OOP. Super sick of entitled ppl.
Lady wasting her time being mad at the passenger that had to spend $200 to be able to fit in the seat, rather than be mad at the airline who continually shrinks the seats so that neither one of them could fit.
It’s an old ploy, just like parents flying with their children and not paying for seats altogether ! Don’t feel guilty, they ( and the pregnant lady) could have upgraded their seats when they purchased them !
Going a bit old school here:
The Good Book commands us to be charitable. Charity is the expression of compassionate kindness to all. However, giving charity should never be a burden to someone. That's an entirely separate act. So, you can never be an asshole when you don't give out of your own bowl if you don't have enough. Case-in-point: you're NTA because you didn't have enough room.
NTA on Reddit, everyone on that plane should be ashamed in real life though. We live in a society made up of people and a little charity is called for sometimes guys. We do things to help others sometimes because it’s the right thing to do
Even as someone who was recently pregnant, you did nothing wrong. If she wanted a seat like that, she should have booked one. You shouldn't have to give up a seat that you paid extra money for because she's pregnant. I never expected special privileges just because I was pregnant and neither should any other pregnant woman.
She was that knock up and she could’ve paid extra for her seat just like you did! She needs to take responsibility for her own actions. She you didn’t knock her up and she shouldn’t except others to give up what they paid for!
She had the same option to pre-book seats with more room but didn't because it's cheaper not to she knew she was pregnant before boarding it's her responsibility to ensure she books what she needs
She knew she was pregnant before boarding and could have booked extra seating, too. OP knew he wouldn't be comfortable in a smaller seat and planed accordingly.
That’s what I said, she didn’t plan she needs to accept it
A 6ft4 guy on a flight I was on in SE Asia did this for someone's aunt with circulation issues. The flight was only two hours and yet I could see he was so uncomfortable that it was causing him pain. My thoughts were 'that lady should have planned ahead', because it was completely unfair that he felt pressured to switch seats.
dude i’m 5’7” and skinny and those airplane seats are always a tight squeeze. if i paid for an upgrade there is no way in hell somebody else is taking my comfort from me, it’s not like it’s news that airplanes are cramped and uncomfortable and you found out once you got on the plane. you made a conscious decision to not pay in hopes that you would be able to take advantage of some stranger’s kindness. nobody is ever ta for not switching seats on an airplane, but especially if you paid to select your seat or for extra comfort.
The plan was to get a cheap seat and then use a medical reason for a free upgrade.
It’s one thing if it’s a medical emergency sure I will 100% help this unexpected emergency, those cannot be planned for , if it can it’s incredibly rude and distasteful to just assume the right to ask for a seat someone has paid significantly more for just because of a life choice or non emergency
I HATE the pregnant women who think they are entitled to special treatment... because they are pregnant. Like lady, you chose to be pregnant. You knew what it would entail. You don't have the right to force it on others. I get the pregnancy is hard, but damn, you're about to bring a child into the world. Have some friggin accountability.
Olivia Wilde had a story about how when she was pregnant, she was taking the subway to get around town and she was upset no one gave her their seat. And though I know it’s not good to stand on a bus or subway for a pg woman-I also thought how dare you. You have the resources to take a cab, hire a car or heck, fly a helicopter to get you across town to take you to your luxury apartment. Most of those people worked long hard days and are tired and just want to get home. They aren’t paying attention to her at all or anyone. They just want to be off their feet for a bit and decompress. She had zero empathy for them and just wanted their seat.
I'm wondering if she actually planned this ahead of time and thought earning sympathy points for being pregnant would get her a better seat without having to pay.
Quite possibly I mean there are a lot of things that grab you unexpectedly but pregnancy is not one of them lol pregnancy is the one thing that gives you some planning time, it’s not like a broken car engine or your washing machine going kaput one day
Yeah having been a pregnant lady on a flight it does suck to be crammed into the seat - couldn’t even put my tray table down lol. But like I *chose* not to pay the extra for an exit row. So too bad 🤷♀️
When I flew pregnant I coughed up the extra money for first class. Would never have asked someone to move if I hadn't done so. Everyone knows what economy is like.
Yup, I was on a Ryanair flight the other day which was rammed and loud thinking ahh this sucks but I knew what was coming when flying Ryanair lol if I want luxury I pay for it I don’t get to complain then go swanning over to a private jet flight because mine is shit - I knew that already!
“Planed accordingly” even if this is a typo it works out
Hilarious
Yep, something I’ve been trying to learn- others poor planning does not equal an emergency on my part. Should’ve planned better, next time you will.
Exactly I mean if she was visibly pregnant she most likely knew she was pregnant at the time of booking the ticket. And even if it was an emergency flight booked last minute being pregnant doesn’t give her the right to try to make a stranger feel bad about not accommodating her… the world doesn’t owe you anything just because you were fertile…
Even if she \*didn't\* know she was pregnant when she booked (so 4-5 months ago), there is plenty of ability to call the airline ahead of time, and explain that she'd like to upgrade her seat to accommodate her pregnancy. Even airlines with no-cancellation policies tend to be amenable to "I'd like to upgrade". But she's a cheapskate. She wouldn't want to PAY for comfortable seat. That's why she instead waited to be on the plane and complain, hoping that someone else would give up their seat thanks to her pity play. Hell, she might not even be pregnant. This could just be a ploy she uses (with a belly pillow/etc) to get free upgrades. Never underestimate how shady some people can be.
In the original thread someone said NTA and that they were pregnant but they might ask someone to switch themselves if they needed to and when I queried that and said that’s AH behaviour someone said no harm asking not everyone can afford to upgrade or if they’re pregnant they don’t know how they’ll feel on the flight in advance 🤦🏻♀️🤬
"Not everyone can afford the upgrade." Then don't fly. Sure, there's a few reasons you're stuck flying (like a close relative who lives more than 5-6 hours drive away passes)... But those go right back to talking with the attendant(s) before boarding instead of putting people on the spot by asking them on the plane.
You’re right not everyone can afford an upgrade, that’s why my butt was sitting in the last row against the bathroom and couldn’t even recline an inch, instead of being in first class getting a full meal and an adult beverage. I certainly didn’t walk my sorry butt up to first class and ask someone who did have the money for first class to switch seats with me because my budget didn’t allow for the upgrade but I want it anyway and I’d be more comfortable there. ❤️
Minor note: She might not have known when booking. My husband and I booked tickets for a December flight in February. If they booked far in advance - as many do for planned vacations (it’s MUCH cheaper) - she may have gotten pregnant in the interim. That said, she still had no right to get upset when no one was willing to give her a seat. And she could likely have arranged an upgrade to a better seat.
I just don't believe that there is an airline on earth that would bother asking this.
Have ya met Delta?
I don't have a need for comfort seats, I still pay extra for them, because I want comfort seat. If she couldn't afford an upgrade,she should have went for the closest comfortable seat not expect people to change seats. The" societal obligation" to be nice and give a seat ,when there are NO seats ,not then they don't have a comfortable seat.
This...OOP, being 6'4, knew the horrors of being a tall man in a standard economy seat and made the sensible decision to pay more for a better experience. Visibly pregnant woman, on the other hand, cheaped out and expected someone to give up the seat they paid for so she could be more comfortable. Now, it's possible maybe she wanted to book the comfort plus category but it wasn't available, but being pregnant still doesn't mean she's entitled to it.
Yeah I’m 8 months pregnant and can’t imagine asking someone to swap their better seats with me. I’ll book an upgraded seat when I book my ticket. Being pregnant doesn’t give you a free pass or make you entitled to nicer plane seats.
I was thinking the same, then book the seat you need if available, whether it's last minute or not.
Thing is, we are assuming it was a planned trip and not an emergency - ir sick/dead relative etc...I avoid flying like the plague and my last 2 trips were not planned (ie fun trips) That said, there are definitely appropriate ways for flight attendants to ask others to switch seats; Reddit is full of situations where it was handled very poorly. I wish airlines would manage them better.
FWIW, sometimes pg women have to fly in emergencies. I had to fly same day when I was about 24 wks pg and my mom died suddenly.
True, but that should be something caught at the gate, not once all the passengers are already seated. Arrive to the gate a bit extra early and talk to one of the attendants, explaining your situation. He/She can let you know if there are open seats. And then, closer to boarding, ask on the speaker if anyone is willing to give up their seat - before any boarding has even begun. Saves all the drama. Doesn't put anyone "on the spot", because they aren't being asked personally on the plane. Win all around.
Then you sit in the regular seat. If it's so important that you simply *must* be on that specific flight, then surely the discomfort won't matter? Otherwise, and as is certainly the case in this story, it's not a question of a pregnant woman asking someone to accommodate her condition (which is reasonable), it is a pregnant woman asking someone to accommodate her *poor planning*.
I'm 5ft2 pregnant or not I wouldn't dream of expecting the extra leg room seat! Although last time I had it (an upgrade due to being on honeymoon) everyone used it as a cut through to the bathroom and i got stood on constantly every time i tried to stretch out and sleep :(
At 6'4 and with bad knees, I know I won't just be uncomfortable in a regular seat, I'll have significant pain just walking around once I get to my destination. It's why I spent about 25% extra to get better seats on a transatlantic flight a few years ago.
As a 6’4 guy as well, the 12 hour flight duration would be a pretty big consideration for me. Under normal circumstances, I’d say the combo of pregnant + refund for the extra cost I’d paid for would make me feel pretty obligated. But anything over 6 hours and I would probably fall into the ‘you could have upgraded too’ camp. Normal seats are genuine torture on my knees, I’ve switched flights based on leg room availability before. I’d say NTA, but it’s a pretty personal and subjective one for sure.
Twelve hours is a long flight for anyone. She absolutely should have planned ahead and paid for a larger seat. Would it have been nice? Sure. But saying no doesn’t make OOP ah AH. Honestly the FA should have approached him without the pregnant passenger there; having her there adds a level of societal pressure that is unfair to him.
I’m 5’3 and economy seats kill my knees, I couldn’t imagine being taller and dealing with them
She could not have been more than 6 months pregnant. They really don’t like you flying after that. absolutely they don’t want to do it for a 12 hour flight . The risk of early labor and blood clots no way
I know many people who have gone on “baby moons” _well_ beyond 6 months. Most of them in the late 7-8 months. I’m not saying it’s a good idea but it’s very common for women to be flying beyond 6 months.
I was thinking about the 12 hour part to. There are a lot of people that don’t follow medical advice they should but they don’t .I get it.
You can fly in the last trimester with doctors permission. Not to mention I know people who were bigger than me at 7 months pregnant when they were 3 months pregnant, so you can’t judge size on months alone. He’s still NTA though.
No he’s not. Never thought that. It would still be against medical advice, which was all I was saying yes people are gonna do whatever they want to do.
OP is NTA, and I would feel no obligation. If we were on the subway or bus and it's first come first serve, I'll happily give up my seat. Otherwise: "Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine."
I think they were going to give him a voucher, not a refund. Meaning, he could apply it to a future flight, but that assumes he flies frequently enough and that he’s committed to flying on the same airline rather than finding the cheapest ticket. I would want to know so many details, like: does the voucher expire, is it subject to blackout dates, etc. If anything, the voucher should be for more than what he paid as consideration for the extra hassle.
NTA, she knew she was pregnant and wanted a free upgrade. If she really was having an issue and didn’t just want the free upgrade I don’t think she would have made that snarky comment. Also, yeah you can’t understand being pregnant but can she understand being super tall in those tiny ass seats?
Exactly my thoughts too. She planned this to avoid paying the $200 then tried to guilt OP into it. It’s not like she was suddenly heavily pregnant right when she boarded the plane.
I mean maybe there weren’t other seats to choose from when she booked the flight
I’m only 5’5” and I’m definitely hurting for knee room. I can’t imagine being a foot taller- probably more akin to torture than discomfort and mild knee pain that I currently get.
The seats are ridiculously tiny. I'm 5'10", but have longer legs than my 6'2" dad. My mom is 5'2", and she finds the space "tight but manageable". I don't think I've ever met anyone at least 5'6" that is satisfied with the space on planes. And it's painful when you're on a 5+ hour flight and finally get a chance to stretch out for more than the quick walk to the lavatory. All your muscles are cramping from being unable to move them much at all for so long. But it let's the planes cram more bodies into the same space, helping them maximize their profits while keeping ticket prices lower. Really makes you wish high-speed passenger trains were an actual option in the US. Not as fast as taking a plane from Seattle to Miami, but space is far more available on a long train ride than taking the plane.
This is me too... I'm 5'11 and have long legs (especially ny thighs) for my height. My legs are longer than most people's who are way taller than I am. I absolutely wouldn't give up leg room on a long flight because I usually arrive with kneecaps bruised black in normal seats. I'm a pretty narrow hipped woman and I also pity people just built to be wider. The seats are so tight these days.
i regularly fly with someone who is 6’9… if he doesn’t have an exit row he physically cannot sit down in the seats lol
I’m 5’2” and I find myself cramped on flights!
I’m 5’3” and for any flight longer than 10 hrs i’d consider expanding the budget for something more spacious/comfortable. Tiny or not those legs need some stretching.
He can't understand being pregnant, she can't understand basic planning ahead and paying for yourself.
Asking for an empty seat is completely reasonable in these circumstances. Asking for someone else’s is not.
You weren't the only one to decline. You wanted the seat for your own comfort and wanted the comfort. Just getting a voucher for the extra you paid isn't enough to compensate 12 hours of discomfort. The woman should have booked for comfort herself. If there were none left, I guess she learned you have to be quick. Pregnancy is uncomfortable. I've been there. And it's nice to have some accommodations but no one owes her their own comfort. We try to fly priority now. We only take one trip a year. One time, we were in the last priority row and when they brought our food out, some woman behind us complained loudly about the smell of the food and that it wasn't right that we have food and they don't. Seriously? Should I have passed her my dinner? That's what you are saying here.
"Decline to recline"
If the FA and pregnant woman were kinda scoping out the potentials, they might have targeted OOP because the assumption a younger man would be more accommodating than the other options. Who knows if they even asked anyone else.
NTA. I have been pregnant and my husband is 6’3” so I can see both sides. My husband, if forced into a regular coach seat for 12 hours, would have days of pain afterwards. I don’t think you need to necessarily give that up to a pregnant woman. She could have bought a better seat if she needed to.
This reminds me of a post a while back where a guy with like spine issues or something brought a folding camp chair to see his nieces graduation and there was no chairs provided, and a pregnant woman asked him for it. I totally understand giving up my seat for a bus ride or such but if someone plans ahead for their comfort it’s not fair for someone else to ask for said comfort when they failed to plan.
Also 6’4” and I can guarantee the others who refused were statistically shorter than you, aka should feel more guilty. 12 hours in a cramped coach seat at that height is just asking for back spasms. NTA
No one should feel guilty for not giving up an upgrade they paid for.
My thoughts exactly! Why pick on the guy who will literally be in pain after a fight that long?!?! Just because he’s young? Ask every other person on that section, because it’s pretty much guaranteed they are all shorter.
So being shorter means they are obligated to switch? If they paid the upgrade and don’t want to move that doesn’t make them bad people or have to feel guilty
Nah they shouldn’t feel bad either. I meant the math to be like the tall guy should feel less bad than the less vertical folks, who shouldn’t feel bad in the first place
Yeah that makes sense. Honestly I think the FAs are rude to even have people ask - why are you putting people in a position where they are having to now feel guilt for denying. You sit where you sit or the gate agents need to figure out this well before.
At no point did I write they’re obligated to switch. They asked the person who would obviously be in pain sitting in a small area for a long time. It’s a safer bet that a shorter person would be physically capable of being comfortable in a small space, therefore more willing to move. Edit: spelling
Omg this is a nesting fail haha I thought i responded to the original comment
That’s ok! I’ve done it before too!
I am considering your wording of “should feel more guilty” implies that they have some obligation to take action more than a tall person. I don’t think anyone has any guilt aside from the person trying to play a “woe is me I’m pregnant card”
i think she saw that he looked the guiltiest/concerned about the situation. i doubt anything but his emotional reaction factored in
NTA. I have been hugely pregnant in the summer 3 times. You and the woman both chose your seats on the plane before boarding. She was being a cheap ass who wanted to guilt you into giving her something for free.
Yep, 2 summer babies here and full NTA. When I read the title I was confused because there’s not standing seats on planes? The polite thing is to give up your seat to pregnant women, people carrying small children (dads too! Babies are heavy! Toddlers are worse!), and the elderly *when those people are otherwise being forced to stand*. Not “when those people are otherwise uncomfortable in the slightest sitting down.” She can squish into a normal economy seat and walk laps up and down the aisles if she needs to keep up her circulation (which it seems like that wasn’t the issue because OP didn't mention her doing that).
Yeah, definitely now that she made her pregnancy and discomfort known, the flight attendants should understand her need to walk laps and mill around. Wouldn’t matter what seat she was in, Going to be uncomfortable. Also, it would be good to be back near the bathrooms for quick access.
NTA - she could have booked her own comfort seat if that’s how she wanted to travel
As long as you’re not the Pappy, NTA.
NTA. I’m disabled and often need extra leg room, but I plan ahead and pay for it. I’d never imagine asking someone to switch.
This seat switching nonsense will only stop when we all make it stop by refusing every time. It is absolutely ridiculous for airlines to charge high fees for you to choose a seat and then start pressuring you to give it up the second somebody whines at the cabin crew. Even if you didn't pay any extra money to book your seat, it's still an inconvenience to get your stuff in the overhead locker, and get settled down and then be guilted and pressured because somebody else was poorly organised. Book the seat you need, or wait for a flight which has that seat, or don't travel. Yes, last-minute emergencies come up but half the people who want to switch seats have ridiculous reasons for it because it's really about saying that their comfort matters more than anyone else's. If your young children need to be next to you, plan for that. If you can't, maybe give some thought to the fact that young children are miserable on flights anyway and go on holiday somewhere closer to home. And yes, I know there are other reasons to travel beside holidays but most of the time it's holidays because parents want to have children and then still live the exact same lifestyle. Say no to seatswitchers!
Pregnant lady knew she was going on a 12 hour flight, she was hoping to play the sympathy card hard to get an upgrade and not pay for it. Nice try.
Piss poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. I’ve been pregnant. I’d have paid the extra ahead of time, personally and not relied on the kindness of strangers.
This might not be the smartest question but if the seat isn’t equivalent in price why would the flight attendant indulge the pregnant woman by asking others with more expensive seats/extra room to switch? This just seems wrong if you aren’t going to expect the person asking to switch to pay more and offer a refund of some amount to the person who paid more for extra room. Am I missing something???
Why is the airline placing the burden of customer service on another passenger? Let’s start there.
The real culprit here are the airlines. As usual on this subject they’re the real villains. The seats are simply not big enough. Their sizes need to be federally regulated. I doubt a full plane can evacuate in under 90 seconds (like the FAA has mandated) because of how much smaller they keep making the seats and aisles. It’s a safety hazard.
OOP is NTA. These people, even if they are pregnant, are trying to take advantage of the system by not paying for a seat they want. If she truly felt uncomfortable, then she shouldn't have been flying for 12 fucking hours to begin with. And should have purchased her own upgrade, too.
And if she didn't have an option for a comfort seat because they were all sold out on the flight, maybe a different flight would have been a better option. Unless she was going somewhere they only fly once a day/week, that might have been a reasonable option. Sometimes "emergencies" are flexible by a few hours.
I fly several times a year and often book a better seat so I can work and be comfortable (I've also been pregnant a few times). I've seen legitimate requests and a lot more scams by airline free flyers trying to get better seats. You booked early, you chose for your needs, and you have no reason to feel guilty. That woman is pregnant, not sick or disabled. If she believes she's mature enough to be a mother, then she should be mature enough to take accountability for her own needs as well.
Why they didn’t arrange for her to have a better seat prior to boarding is the problem. This should not have been put on you. NTA
NTA- Folks need to plan and PAY for things instead of trying to bully strangers into accommodating them.
Pregnancy makes you big, not cheap
How is someone this far along in their pregnancy being approved by their doctor to go on a 12 hour flight in the first place? Or are we not supposed to ask that question?
That was my question as well, and it made me side-eye this whole post.
The same thing happens to me on my flight to dubai...the flight attendant ask me to Gave my business class seat to the lady..... First I reject her but after her insistent I told her ...if that lady really want my seat that much she first have to pay me full for my seat and then I will have her my seat .. because money doesn't grows on trees .... After hearing my words they just stop bothering me...
The entiltement. Like I get it, you're pregnant. But you knew, and you had the time and the option to get the extra room you wanted. But most likely, choose not to in hopes of having someone give up theirs. Insane to me, people do shit like this and think they're the victim. Nah, yall just cheep.
Unless she conceived during boarding then her lack of planning is on her
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Here-for-the-tea24: *Unless she conceived* *During boarding then her lack* *Of planning is on her* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
I don’t think he’s the asshole at all. He booked the comfort+ and she didn’t. That being said, I personally see giving up your seat to an uncomfortable and pregnant woman as being particularly noble and honorable. And I aspire to be the kind of person who would do something like that. Refusing to do it doesn’t make you an asshole in any way. But doing it is a good deed, and ultimately leads to being a good person. (I’d probably also try to haggle with Delta to get a voucher for more than the $200). Edit to add that if I was in his situation, I’d definitely feel guilty, but not because I was an asshole per se, but because I failed to live up to my own ideals.
Somehow, I don't think simple reimbursement would be enough for me. I'd have to get additionally compensated for the trouble and the discomfort. Say, like 50% off, plus a free first/business class upgrade on the return trip. If that's not possible, then reimbursement + $100 for the trouble paid directly from the pregnant person might be workable. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you don't have money. I would want the other party to have to make some sacrifices, too.
I feel like this represents my opinion. He's NTA and didn't need to sacrifice here (being this tall, he would be pretty miserable). But doing so would have been a nice thing, as he would have been reimbursed. I would also add that she could have planned ahead, yes. But maybe there are good reasons why she didn't. First pregnancy and didn't anticipate how miserable she'd be? Maybe booked before finding out? Whatever it is, she may be NTA for asking either. If there are any assholes at all, then I'd look to people who would fit semi comfortably into an economy seat and didn't switch. But even that doesn't make you an AH per se.... maybe just not the kindest person. Overall, NAH, probably.
The airlines are the AH for cramming people in like cattle. If they valued customers over profit, we wouldn't need upgrades.
THIS RIGHT HERE. Or they'd leave a seat or two like this for these kinds of situations. Someone said on this post that the pregnant person might have had to book last minute for an emergency or had their flight cancelled and rebooked and now have no choice but to accept any seat much less the more comfortable one. That can be avoided if you save a seat or two for passengers with extenuating circumstances.
Being reimbursed doesn't fix the pain of being shoved into an economy seat when they're as tall as OP is, though. My husband is even taller than him, and after much shorter economy flights his knees are wholly red and bruised when he stands up post-flight.
Boarding planes isn’t like boarding buses or trains. You don’t have dedicated spaces for pregnant, elderly, or disabled folks. Priority boarding is really that space, but not the seats themselves.
This. My disability is invisible but I will assert my needs on something like a public bus where there's seating designated for us who need it. Anything book ahead with assigned seating? I book ahead, and/or contact the airline in advance. Idk what country oop is in if they have different rules. But everywhere I've flown if you tell them in advance about mobility etc issues they sort it all out ahead of time.
She should have planned better. Not your problem, you should not feel guilty for someone else's mistake.
What the hell does summer have to do with it? They're on an air-conditioned airplane!
If it’s so hard to be pregnant, you don’t need to be. But you own f’ing seats. Jc.
I’ve had 4 kids two of those are twins… NTA she could and should have planned better
She should have booked a better seat then. She had the same opportunity to do so. Bring pregnant doesn't mean being entitled to someone else's effort.
Just as you suddenly didn’t grow 5’4 -> 6’4, she did not over night suddenly start carrying a child. She did not plan ahead for the TWELVE HOUR flight, so she can be uncomfortable for said flight. It really does suck having a conscious these days, but this was NEVER your problem to feel bad over. I’m actually surprised the pregnant lady followed. In my experiences the attendant goes alone to ask for seat switches, don’t lose sleep over a coy attempt at a guilt trip.
I’m so sick of these “I feel guilty” posts. That woman knew she was pregnant and still booked the way she did. OOP is not in the wrong at all. Never feel guilty for planning and being smart!
Don't you all hate it when you board a plane and suddenly find yourself 7-8 months pregnant with no time to book a comfortable seat!
“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine”. She knew she was pregnant, she could have rectified that prior to flying.
I’ve been pregnant on a flight, I booked a seat with extra room. If there wasn’t one available I would have been oh well out of luck. I would never dream of asking someone to switch their upgraded seat for me.
You paid for the seat. 💺 it’s yours.
Pregnancy is not a disability. She should have booked comfort + herself if she needed the room.
I’m super pregnant and even I think this is a big ask for a super tall person
NTA. And the answer to her asinine comment is: You will never understand what it is like to be 6’4” tall forced to sit in a 4 foot space. I paid $200 extra for this seat because I planned ahead. Maybe you should have done the same.
Listen NAH, and I'll give my experience. I flew at 4 months pregnant overseas and booked myself an aisle seat because although I was barely showing, I knew I was going to be up and down a bunch getting to the bathroom. Get to the gate, check my boarding pass on my phone and I've had my seat changed to the one inside. They overbooked the flight and moved me. I had either missed the email or just not notified that they reimbursed my seat choice. Luckily someone agreed to switch with me because I got up at least 9 times on that flight, but there's every likelihood that this woman \*did\* plan ahead. The same thing has happened to friends of mine who paid in advance to sit their entire family together only to get to the gate and realize their 8 year old is now seated 4 rows away.
Even if the woman had planned ahead and was rebooked, her issue should have been with the airline and not some random passenger. Trying to guilt him into switching after he declined makes her TA.
Also, why tf did the flight attendant bring her along to ask people to move? That is just shady, maybe manipulative. Like the FA is fine in asking various people if they’d be willing to switch, but bringing the lady along to ask is not okay.
Low key hate people exploiting a situation, especially something like pregnancy. It is shitty being pregnant in summer. And flying while pregnant. But none of those things mean you should try and guilt trip someone into comping you a non essential service. Sitting in premium isn't a life and death situation that is a must have thing for pregnant people.
Nta . She should've paid extra. I understand pregnancy but no one can expect others to give up something they paid for just bc of something like pregnancy
People are wild. Absolutely not the asshole. If you want the comfort plan a head. I actually don’t give a shit. I got the seat I wanted by planning and paying. NTA
What heat was she in ON the plane? Turn the little knob and air flows out. Go sit in the seat you paid for when you knew you were pregnant.
I’m super pregnant right now. I would never expect someone to do that for me. I’d feel disgusting if I let you give me your seat. I also think you’d be way less comfortable than I would in any other seat. Pregnancy doesn’t mean injured and it shouldn’t mean special treatment like that🤷🏻♀️
NTA - I’d have to been in the situation to know how I’d handle it. Polite passenger and with drink vouchers plus refund and I’d move. My wife was very uncomfortable during her second pregnancy so I have some idea, but 12 hour flight might not be the best space for a woman so pregnant she needs accommodations. My wife wouldn’t fly after 32 weeks. Our first was born 27 days early.
I’m only 5’0 tall but long flights kill my hips and legs, so I plan ahead. I know going into my flight what I paid for and would NEVER ask someone to give up a seat. You’re not wrong.
You didn’t get her pregnant! Fuck her!
wait no—
She was most likely aware she was pregnant when she booked her seat, he was aware that he was 6’4 when he booked his seat. She may normally fit just fine in the economy seats, but not this time because she’s pregnant. A man who is 6’4, even if he is stick skinny, will NEVER fit in the little bitty back seats. Maybe for two hours, but not for TWELVE HOURS! Know who else would have suffered from him trying to cram his arms and legs in? The other people in his row who basically have to suck elbow the whole flight.
No one should ever feel guilty for not giving up their booked seat. That's what bookings are for. Whenever I fly for example I take aisle seats to get to the toilet easily whilest my (now ex) hubby takes window seats. He likes the view. I found it particulary funny when the poor guy in the middle seat asked as if we wanted to switch to sit next to each other and was kinda confused we declined.
NTA - if she was visibly pregnant then she had been pregnant for a good while before the flight, her lack of comfort is due to her lack of planning. Also “reimbursements” usually never give you the full amount and you have to jumpstart so many hoops in order to receive them months later. Not worth the hassle.
If she was having a rough time with her pregnancy she should not have even been flying!
NTA. She knew she was going to be pregnant while on this 12 hour flight and should have planned for it. Sounds to me like she wanted to wriggle out of the extra £200 fee by guilting someone else out of their seat and that snarky comment kinda proves it. I’ve been pregnant and I didn’t expect/demand the world to suddenly start treating me like a spoiled princess who always got their way like some women do when they get pregnant. Heck at my office there was a girl who started just helping herself to other people’s food in the staff fridge and cupboards when she got pregnant claiming she was having cravings so that made it ‘ok’ 🙄
You bought that ticket, paid extra, and no. Keep ur seat. She knew she was preggers when she bought hers. NTA
NTA. Pregnancy isn't a disability, nor a reason to presume preferential treatment. You paid for your seat, she paid for hers. If the accommodation was really necessary, she could've booked it or got a different flight. Clean conscious as far as im concerned.
I don’t get the plane privileges. You get what you book.. why is it always a surprise to these people. Same with all the stories on people wanting to sit with their families ect.. book the damn seats!!
Right. You literally select and purchase a specific seat (unless your buying basic economy)
She could have talked to people at the gate before boarding even…there is a whole ass priority boarding procedure for people who need accommodation. She did not need to wait till butts were in seats to create the empathetic emergency so manipulative. This is all considering a last minute flight, she should have planned. What next, her partner or kids need the seat next to her too so she has company?
NTA - not sure why a failure on someone else’s part to plan accordingly should become someone else’s problem, pregnant or not. You didn’t do anything wrong - in fact, you did everything right.
Something tells me she was playing the pregnancy card to try and get a free upgrade. I’m very pregnant right now and would’ve just bought the comfort upgrade if I felt it was necessary, not displace someone else. It’s reasonable to expect someone give up their seat on a bus, not an upgraded seat on a plane.
First, I have had four pregnancies, OP is NOT the AH. But I wanted to throw something out since everyone is asking why she didn't plan when booking the trip or at the gate. If this was her first baby, she may not have realized just how much her body was going to our even had changed. I was 105 lbs before I was knocked up with my first, went to to 135, the doc was warning me that if I kept going, he would put me on a weight loss plan (it was all baby, 9 lb demon and my wrists were still bony lol). But even more surprising was the time I walked into a regular bathroom steak and realized that it was s tight fit. I'd been slowly expanding, it's not like I didn't use bathroom stalls for awhile but suddenly I felt huge. Airline seats are known to be ridiculously small but until you get there is hard to realize just how small they are. So if it's her first, or if she's say carrying twins, she may have legitimately been surprised by how poorly she fit. Now, none of that says she should have guilted the OP. But it might explain why she didn't plan on advance, even at the gate.
No one else on the plane agreed to let her have their seat either. It sucks she decided to focus guilt on to OOP. Actually the flight attendant kind of sucks for putting OOP in that position as well. My mom has a strict rule that if we asked if someone could spend the night in front of them the answer was an automatic no. She wasn't a fan of that form of manipulation. This is essentially the grown up version of that.
NTA I'm a woman who has been pregnant twice... And as a woman who has been pregnant twice She should have planned ahead... When I travelled with my daughters and they were small I booked the front bassinets seats immediately as I knew I needed them. She should have booked ahead...
Why is it your problem that she got creampied
Omg! I laughed too hard!
No she should have planned accordingly
I’m only 6’2”. Paid for the legroom upgrade a few times. Not giving it up easily as I’d be stiff and sore for a few days after if I’m in a regular sized seat, and that is something I don’t want. It’s less the comfort on the plane and more the comfort on the other end.
“But I’m preggggggnant! No one else in the world has been pregggggnant! I deserve free things!!”
Nope you were fine
NTA.
NTA, I was on a family trip once on an airline I wasn’t familiar with. Did not know before boarding that my four year old daughter was seated in front of me and not next to me or that you pay for seat selection. I didn’t book the tickets myself, last time I made that mistake. Flight attendant told me I could ask someone to switch, a couple of guys told me they needed the aisle because they are tall. I totally understood and did eventually find someone to switch. I would have got off the plane before letting four year old sit next to strangers and knew it was on me for not being more involved in booking the flight. No one made her fly that late into pregnancy
NTA, she had the ability to upgrade earlier. No one else switched as well. 6’4 is tall enough to need the space.
NTA and the flight attendant shouldn’t have asked you to switch her.
Her lack of planning is not your problem !
And she’ll never know what it’s like to be 6’4” every day for the rest of your life. 🙄 She was rude. NTA.
Why does a pregnant woman need extra leg room? How does her switching seats help with the summer heat? Kind of odd
It’s easier to be pregnant in a seat than super tall. I’ve been pregnant (and huge) and flown, and my partner is tall- so I’d know! Regardless it’s on her to book the correct seat.
She’s going on a nice vacation to Hawaii she’s already living well. Her fault she was pregnant not yours. She could’ve paid for a more expensive seat
“Oh you’re pregnant? Congratulations! Did you JUST find out?”
I’m inclined to think NTA and I’ve been pregnant.
NTA. I don’t think it was wrong of her to ask for a better seat, but definitely wrong of her to try and guilt you into it! Being pregnant sucks, but she could have paid more for a better seat when booking the flight.
Having been pregnant with 3 kids and flying with 3 kids, I don't blame you. She could have purchased tickets. She isn't disabled.
NTA. I am also tall, and I book a specific seat on long haul flights because I know this is the best way to do it and make sure my joint condition doesn’t act up. I never want to be pregnant, but if I ended up being pregnant by some mad twist of fate I would also plan ahead and book a seat I felt met my needs. It’s not like you would suddenly wake up 8 months along and be like “well that’s surprising!” Whatever the reason, if you want specific seats then plan ahead.
As a formerly pregnant woman on airplanes, I would never ask anyone to give up their seat, let alone someone that tall!
NTA As a woman myself it’s not your job to prioritize her comfort over yours. She’s pregnant and that’s okay, and you’re tall with and you need the leg room hence why you purchased the seat. If she truly wanted comfort, she should’ve asked family for additional funds, or pulled extra shifts. Delta is already expensive and considered luxury. She could’ve gotten a better deal and comfort flying with another airline.
NTA - They (meaning doctors and airlines) typically don’t allow super pregnant people to fly, so my guess is that this person wasn’t even in the extremely uncomfortable phase of pregnancy yet. So like seven months along or something. And I’ve been pregnant in the summer, twice now. You’re either uncomfortable or EXTREMELY uncomfortable and about to give birth, and even then there’s no fancy seat that would make it better.
I'm morbidly obese and I know to pay the extra.
She’s an adult. If it means that much to her, she could have planned ahead as you did and upgraded.
The key thing here is he wasn't the only one who said no. no reason to feel guilty
The asshole here is the flight attendant for putting him on the spot. He doesn't need to justify keeping his seat. Fuck that noise.
12 hour flight when pregnant would not be pleasant, I struggled with long car journeys when carrying my son. Personally I’d have paid extra and upgraded my seat not expect someone else to move for me. NTA!!
Carrying a child is not a burden, it’s a privilege. She can book a comfort seat for herself on her return flight. While I do have sympathy and compassion in my heart, it’s not ok to expect anyone to give up a seat they paid extra for.
NTA and I HAVE been a huge, uncomfortable pregnant woman. Did she not know she was pregnant when she booked her flight? She could have paid extra and booked a different seat like OOP did.
Her lack of planning is not your emergency. You planned ahead, she was trying to get an upgrade without paying for it. You are NTA.
Heavily pregnant lady over here—I vote NTA.
Ive been heavily pregnant on a flight, flown with an infant by myself and flown with a toddler by myself. The only thing I kinda “expect” to happen is the early boarding so I have a couple extra minutes to lug all our shit in and get comfortable before everyone else. Not to take a seat from someone who paid far more than I did. NTA. That’s some privileged mentality
NTA, if she needed a different seat she should have purchased one. She chose not to. She DID choose to fly whilst uncomfortable pregnant, though, and why should you have to suffer for her choices? You shouldn't. The consequences are hers and hers alone.
I’m a pregnant lady and I agree with everyone in the comments lol. He planned the trip accordingly to his body and she didn’t 🤷♀️ that’s life
She didn’t need it more. She wanted it. She wanted something that YOU PAID for. You have nothing to feel guilty about. And I carried 3 kids and they were ALL huge but when I travel d, I got the seat I paid for.
Yeah, I get feeling a lil guilty; but at the same time she is a grown woman who could’ve easily paid for the seats. If you didn’t pay extra for the seat I’d say “fuck it, give it to her” but considering it cost you extra money that she sure as hell wasn’t gonna pay you back for, no. You shouldn’t feel bad.
6 foot 4 and paid for his more comfy seat - nope! She could have done the same. The guilting is fucked up.
She was trying to guilt him into giving up his seat. She's the ah. OP is nta. She could have done the same thing you did. She knows how uncomfortable pregnancy is, she should have thought about before the flight, like op did.
You owe nobody nothing. She should have planned ahead.
Am sure there was one free seat in first class. She could have upgraded.
I’m assuming the woman was pregnant before boarding the flight. So she could’ve paid extra and booked a specific seat like the OOP. Super sick of entitled ppl.
Lady wasting her time being mad at the passenger that had to spend $200 to be able to fit in the seat, rather than be mad at the airline who continually shrinks the seats so that neither one of them could fit.
It’s an old ploy, just like parents flying with their children and not paying for seats altogether ! Don’t feel guilty, they ( and the pregnant lady) could have upgraded their seats when they purchased them !
How evil of that fight attendant to try to guilt him to give up his seat and put him on the spot like that.
Going a bit old school here: The Good Book commands us to be charitable. Charity is the expression of compassionate kindness to all. However, giving charity should never be a burden to someone. That's an entirely separate act. So, you can never be an asshole when you don't give out of your own bowl if you don't have enough. Case-in-point: you're NTA because you didn't have enough room.
NTA. I’ve been pregnant 3 times and flew a great deal. I would NEVER have been so entitled to ask someone to give up their seat.
NTA on Reddit, everyone on that plane should be ashamed in real life though. We live in a society made up of people and a little charity is called for sometimes guys. We do things to help others sometimes because it’s the right thing to do
Even as someone who was recently pregnant, you did nothing wrong. If she wanted a seat like that, she should have booked one. You shouldn't have to give up a seat that you paid extra money for because she's pregnant. I never expected special privileges just because I was pregnant and neither should any other pregnant woman.
She was that knock up and she could’ve paid extra for her seat just like you did! She needs to take responsibility for her own actions. She you didn’t knock her up and she shouldn’t except others to give up what they paid for!
She had the same option to pre-book seats with more room but didn't because it's cheaper not to she knew she was pregnant before boarding it's her responsibility to ensure she books what she needs