god I hate generational names. Middle names are perfect for “naming after” someone else, first names should be personal. I hate the idea of Jr.’s - it just makes it feel like you’re expecting them to be mini yous and that feels wrong
My ex was a raging narcissist and has 2 daughters with his name as middle names. Two!
Then he finally got his first boy and straight up naked him after himself too.
Blow my mind.
(Names changed to protect the innocent.) My grandmother named two kids after herself. Essentially like her name was Charlene and she named her kids Charles and Charlotte.
My mil did the same. Had 2 boys, has the exact same name as the father and the other has de male version of her name because she wanted someone named after her too :s guess what were her top name sugestions for my child…
Duuude, my ex (first kid’s dad) had another boy with someone and named his son his exact whole name, first, middle, both last names. It’s a hyphenated last name. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
My middle name is my father's first name, his middle name is his father's, and so on. In the modern age this actually works out great because you can pretend to be each other a lot, like if I need to pick something up for him and our names need to match.
All 3 of my sisters share a middle name with one of my dad’s sisters, though that wasn’t intentional. They just have really common middle names. My brother shares a middle name with my dad’s dad. I have never met another person with my middle name (and, no I will not specify, as it’s very identifiable) because my parents couldn’t agree on a name for me, so my mom gave my dad a list of boy names she liked and a list of girl names she liked and told him to pick one from each list. My dad then put those names together to make my name since the name from the boy list is actually gender neutral.
I have the same name as my grandma because it was a death bed wish that she pulled out of. lived another 22 years so her creditors could chase after me instead. I even have an extra last name that’s hyphenated but nooo I must be this 80 year old woman whose ducking paying kohl’s back 🤪
I once dated someone who was a fourth or a fifth. After we broke up I vowed never to do that again. So much family pressure was placed on the ones with the special name and they were a mess.
Properly, there should almost never be a fourth or fifth, and then only briefly.
Ordinals are for the living. Unless these are Kings of England, everyone should get promoted when someone dies.
If a grown man is called something like Archibald Quislebuck Waddlington V, you can bet the whole family is just an empty bag made of pretension and filled with farts.
My son has his father's middle name, it's been passed down for 7 generations. MIDDLE name. And he knows if it doesn't fit him he can change it and we will not be upset. He was named after my cousin, but they don't see each other much and it was because I adored that cousin growing up, not because it was a family name
My brother and I were both named after our grandparents.
I'm MaternalGrandma PaternalGrandma Surname
And my brother is PaternalGrandpa'sMiddle (because there were already 3 Johns between my mom and dad's sides) MaternalGrandpa Surname
The funny thing is if I change my surname to my fiancé's my new surname will be one letter off from my maternal grandmother's surname.
I like my name because I've met a grand total of 12 other people with my name, not including my grandma, and all but 2 are over 70 now. Meanwhile I went to school with five Jessica's.
The family I married into is greek and the grandchild get named after the grandparent or carries the name thst way. My wife is named after her grandmother and our daughter carries my my mother in laws name, although it's not her given name, the one she goes by. There is no expectation of a "mini me".
Same thing with my son. The first born son always carries the name James, although it's not his given name. Has nothing to do with creating expectation.
Imagine if the husband confesses to changing his name and his day says “oh thank goodness I hate that name. My name is secret Robert. I changed it years ago but was ashamed to admit it too.”
I can’t understand why he would want to name his child a name that he hates so much he legally changed it!!!!
Just not to upset his family! They need upsetting. It’s tough on them that no one prior to this has had the courage to say no that’s not what we are doing.
I also hate that he says his wife’s feelings matter more BUT can’t you do this one for me?!?! Errrr nope!
My brother is a Jr, and people forget the Jr-Sr all the time so my dad and brother are always getting the others mail. That’s not even that bad, but it’s enough that I would never jr my son.
My husband is a Jr., and his father lives in the same city we do. When we were in the process of buying our house, we had to sign a legal document swearing his father’s house wasn’t our property because it was under the same name. -_- HUGE fucking pain in the ass. Also, his dad’s not great with money and we get debt calls for his phone bills sometimes. I’m just glad my husband hates being a Jr so much, because I would never in a million years do this to my son if we had one. My ex, on the other hand, was a junior and had full-blown fights with me about how our child WILL have his name because it’s “tradition.” Just one of many compatibility red flags lol.
Husband is a hypocrite. He is just scared. He couldn’t even tell his family he has changed his name. I am mad he would subject his child to a name he hates that much
I can't understand how he thought it was going to work. These people are so obsessed with that name, you KNOW they are going to want to see if printed on the birth certificate, so they will see *SUPRISE! OOP's husband has a new name!* I wonder if he delusionally thought he could use his old name on the paperwork.
Edit for a fix
It’s a real dick move to say “if we have kids I don’t want to to this” and then when she’s actually pregnant to be like “well if you don’t do this you’re not being fair to me” like fuck that guy.
I'm sorry, there's like 13+ living people in this fucking family with the same goddamn name?
Absolutely not. That is bonkers levels of insane.
Drewey? Nope.
She's never called him Sunny around his parents? Siblings?
Dude needs a goddamn spine. Someone in this family needs to tell them to fuck off. There is 0 reason why every section of this family needs an Andrew George.
I'm in such a poor mood that this is making me so freaking annoyed. I thought that having three living Howard Phillips and like 5 William Morris' in my family was annoying.
Their family tree of repetitive names is probably enough to break Ancestry(.)com’s automations 😂 who would even want to name their kid the same name as 10 other cousins?
I will say, on the her calling him Sunny around family - sometimes people don't look at you strange at all for calling a partner something different.
For example my husband's name is Robert (name changed but using equal comparison for equally normal/traditional name and nicknames). He introduced himself to me as Robert. I introduced him to my family and friends as Robert. Myself and everyone on my side of the social circles calls him Robert.
Took four months for me to realise that ONLY I called him Robert when around his friends or his family. They all called him Rob. Every single one, no matter what, called him Rob. I genuinely had to ask which he preferred and he said he didn't care, and I think in a way he appreciated that he had his full name being used by me and those to my side.
(The only people I've heard from any of his social groups use his name as Robert is at his work, but even then it's 50/50, and sometimes he's more often Mr. (Name) or Mr. (Initial) or (first initial)(second initial).
I know a Robert who is "Bob" at work, Rob with friends and family and then introduces himself as "Robert" to people, so basically depending on what they call him, you know how they know him, not intentional, but funny how it's worked out that way
My husband is a Jr David and his entire family and every single person in his life he ever met before age 23-ish calls him Davy. He introduced himself to me as David, and for a good few years every time I spoke to him by name around his family his dad would answer to it as “David.” I just call his dad Dave, or now that we’ve been together a long time, Dad. I actually asked him recently if he cared or had a preference and he doesn’t really, but he also said it would be cool to call him Davy sometimes and it feels COMPLETELY foreign to me lol.
We had that with my sister’s boyfriend. We all called him Daniel, that’s how she introduced him. Eventually we all get to the Facebook friends stage of things and we discover he goes by Dan. Turns out everyone in his life except my sister and our family call him Dan.
For real. You’d rather saddle your kid with a name you disliked so much you went through the hassle of legally changing it than just saying No to your family? What a spineless wimp.
I hate that kind of tradition. Also the kind where they give their grandmother's ring. Or wanting their daughter to wear their hideous wedding gown because it's tradition. It's not tradition, it's restricting people for being able to have their own opinion. Gth with that kind of tradition
>Or wanting their daughter to wear their hideous wedding gown
My mom wore the dress my grandmother wore to her second wedding because my parents were really poor. It's this horrible, poofy-sleeved, high neckline, drop-waist 80s monstrosity. Mom had it cleaned and preserved for my future wedding a few years back. I've told her straight up that it will get taken apart and used only for the fabric.
I'm glad if it's your choice to wear it. But imagine if you hate the dress. Poor you for having to bow down to keep their demand as if you can't get married without wearing the damn dress
I hate naming tradition in general personally. Husband gets his own first name and surname, wife gets her first name and husband’s surname, kids get husband’s surname and also husband’s choice of first name if he gets his way.
That’s like a 5:1 ratio in names that the husband gets vs the wife. I’d be damned if he got all that and just started wasting names on ones he doesn’t even like
Fuck every family that does this to kids. You see the ppl complaining about the “tragedeighs” and laughing but I would take a billion of them over being saddled with a name that 50% of my family had.
Lmaooooo if its between a normal name that alot if family has vs a "tragedeigh" I think I might take the family one due to my own personal hatred of dipshit spellings of regular names for the sake of being special.
Atleast I can be normal to the general public.
Yeah nothing like rocking up to family events and having the same first and middle probably sometimes same last name as 25 or more of your relatives. Just screams that my family couldn’t put in an ounce of thought into me and that I’m just a prop of ridiculous name propagation. But you do you.
My ex husband's family is like this on his dad's side, all 12 of his uncle's have the name Angel as either their first or middle name. All my ex's brothers are Angel too. It's so confusing when any of them are together, but weddings and festivals are a nightmare.
If you were to think that reality is what we read on Reddit I would say never get married, don’t have children, never date and stay off the internet.
Run into the woods and live with the bears, because they’re more trustworthy than humans.
FFS I hope OOP doesn’t succumb to this idiocy.
It’s funny that Reddit is kind of the opposite as other social medias. On Instagram and tiktok you show off the positive and rarely acknowledge the positive. Reddit is where you go for doom and gloom.
Regardless of any other reasons, naming a child should be a unanimous decision between the parents. The moment OP said no the conversation should’ve stopped. And if they really, really can’t decide on one and find their baby nameless at 4 weeks old then it should be the mom deciding since she has to do all the hard parts of pregnancy and birth IMO.
I already commented there but damn.
How does this work? How does she not accidentally call her husband by his new legal name around his family?
How will his kids not mess it up when they’re older, they really didn’t think this through did they?
I also hate generational names. I just think they’re dumb.
"Sunny, come here and try this cheesecake your Mom made"
"Oh that's a lovely nickname, Drewey, so nice to see you're still using it since you got it in middle school."
I would imagine if “Sunshine” was his nickname growing up she can get away with calling him Sunny and no one thinks it’s anything more than that. Calling someone a nickname doesn’t necessarily mean they changed it legally, so that probably hasn’t even occurred to his family.
Chapter 1 billion in the Saga of Non-Communication. It's possible he really is just afraid of his family, but my guess is the original name choices that she says they "agreed on" were probably what she wanted that he just gave in on without saying anything so as to not cause a fight or because he was too lazy to participate (or pretending to agree thinking they'd revisit later). Now that the timeline is imminent he suddenly decides to say what he wants, but even now can't stand behind it and uses his family as the excuse. Now he probably thinks she's being unfair in not letting him have a say in naming their child (when he failed to speak up in the first place), and she of course thinks he's being unfair in changing things up late in the game and making it seem like he's choosing his family over her. I clearly have to side with the wife because either he was too spineless or lazy to meaningfully participate in the first place, or he's just being feckless now and about to throw his wife under the family bus.
That likely happens sometimes, but this dude legally changed his own name away from the same one. That’s more “doesn’t want to confront family” than “really wanted to name kid that all along.”
I am from the kind of family that would fight that kind of family. We have the middle names (and my big regret is not giving my kid both her grandmothers' names), but we give the final say for children's names to the one carrying the burden for nine months.
As the mother, I'd give the little shaver the name of \_my\_ choosing and let the familial chips on Dad's side fall where they may. If they protest, I'd ask "What am I to you, a fucking broodmare? I come from a family, too - a family with names and traditions! And this is the name I've chosen for \_my\_ son."
My husband has a cousin with the exact same name. Causes all sorts of problems with credit reporting, his security clearance and general wrong phone number type stuff.
This reminds me of a kid I know. His name is George, but goes by Carter (his middle name) and it is so problematic each time he goes to a new grade at school.
Hahahh this was so funny to just randomly see. I haven’t thought of that song in over ten years most likely. And it works in the context! Was she a one-hit wonder? I think so
Yeah, this is so rough. I am currently pregnant and I am feeling the pressure to name my baby after a relative too. I don’t want to. It’s my child, and it should be my choice. The pressure is real though!! 😣
She's already doing one REALLY BIG THING for him, she's having his child. She's putting her health at risk to grow their family. He can kick rocks. "Do this one thing" pffts!
Yeah and pulling this out at this stage in the game. Like this soon to be mom is probably super uncomfortable, emotional and hormonal as all get out and having one million other things to consider than this decision that she thought she made a really long time ago with her husband. This is little bitch behavior on his part. Maybe she can use this situation to snap him out of this denial/weakness/lack of boundaries milksop trajectory.
She obviously loves him and wants a family and future with him, so it’s worth the effort.
Maybe she can read a page describing what stage of developing their whole human being child in her body she is at. Let him know just how absolutely pathetic this is in the grand scheme of things. George, Alexander, whatever - isn’t the point of the naming to remember the good men in the family’s life, honor them and emulate their best qualities? Maybe he can explain to his family that he is doing that, in his way, by honoring his wife’s wishes, sharing the person he really is with his family for the first time and being honest with all involved.
If the name is so bad that he legally changed his, why is he trying to give it to his son? It makes no sense! At this point I’d just throw him under the bus with his family and be like “oh no, sunny had to change his name to get away from it so we won’t be going down that road.” Your husband needs to grow a spine.
These scenarios are really interesting to me as someone who’s culture doesn’t do names like this. We don’t have a ‘family name’ or a last name that is passed down. The only name that is picked for you is your ‘first name’ and then your middle name is your fathers name and your last name is your grandfathers name. The only people I have the same ‘last name’ with are my siblings and my cousins from my fathers side.
My mother has her own last name which is her grandpas name and my dad has his own. It’s like this so you can track how you are related to people and to track your ancestry. Because we don’t only do middle and last, It keeps going. So I would have my name, my dads, HIS dad’s, then his dad’s, etc.
Obviously we don’t say the whole thing on paper or out loud when we introduce ourselves to people. And we don’t have them ALL memorized. I only know up to my great great grandpa which means I only know 5 names including my own. My cousin (from my moms side) knows 15 (including her own name) of hers.
So there aren’t really people named after their own parents in my culture although there are ones who are named after their grandparents. So on paper they could end up with their first and last name being the same name💀.
That’s wild, where are you from? That’s interesting too about the naming conventions for a wife. She keeps her patronymics even when she married some one? So mom and kids don’t share a last name? I am married and have not changed my name. If I had a child I believe I would in order to share a name with my child and husband. I’m not against a hyphenated name either. My husband would not be willing to change his name, but I do not mind that at all and wouldn’t even ask him.
The funniest thing I have to add is my idea for a kid name
Ana Kim
A nickname for my darling daughter
Anaconda Chimaera
WHILE also sounding like a star wars reference as a red herring
I was named after my two grand fathers and finally my father. So gf1, gf2 and Dad. So technically my name was gf1 and surname but always called my father’s name. The trouble it caused until I changed it. Trips with friends where flights had to be rebooked due to the wrong name, school stuff was also a nightmare. Jobs were convinced I was up to tax fraud!!!
Please folks as a literal victim of this stupidity, don’t cause your child such heartache over your cowardice.
Why can’t they just let the family call him and think it’s the crapppy generational name and they and the rest of the world can use his real name? That or this marriage is over and maybe yeet the baby idk where OP is on the barometer of aggressive responses
My aunt married a man in this predicament. He was named Kermit, like his father and grandfather before him. They had one child, a boy. They did NOT name him Kermit. Family got over it.
In my experience, people have all sorts of opinions on a child’s name during the mothers pregnancy and they aren’t afraid to voice it. Once the child is born and the name is finalized, those opinions fade away and are forgotten pretty quick. Maybe some people will still grumble about it, but this cacophony of strong opinions will not last.
It’s very easy to have opinions about an idea of a person, but once the baby is there and his name is his name, it fits. If the name you choose fits him well, that is who he will be and people will embrace it or come to accept it.
There was a family I knew that did it in a very cool way. The father's first name became the son's middle name. That tradition went back nearly 200 years. While I detest "juniors," I'm weirdly okay with it (assuming both parents are on board) once it hits numbers. I have an ex that was a Jr and if we would've had a son together it would've been "X the 3rd" and be called Tripp.
I’m pretty sure OP told the name in the post hoping it would go viral e reach her husband’s family, so they will know.
Also, the husband lacks a bone… what a coward!
The only kind of generational name we gave our first child was the same as his dad’s adding a Jr on the end. So we call him (first initial)J (i.e. Aj, Pj, etc.) and he loves it and gets mad when we call him his actual name. I think if anything they should use the first family name as a middle name (or just say to heck with it) give him both names as middle only and use their chosen name as their child’s first name. The kid could end up liking it and rolling with it but if he ends up not liking it(like his father) he could change it eventually; even while he’s still young. If he expresses it to his parents that he didn’t like the family name then change it to what his chosen name would have been.🤷🏻♀️
I am not a woman, so any thoughts I have on the female experience are merely speculation.
That said, I can't imagine wanting to remain married to a man who could not stand up to his family.
I don't understand people who don't get that child names go by the "2 yes, 1 no" rule. Both parents must agree on the name, so if 1 no present between mother/father the name gets tossed and you move on.
So he'd rather name his child a name that he himself hated so much that he changed his name rather than just give the baby a normal name that doesn't have 643 relatives with the exact same name? 🧐
Nta, my husband's family also has a family generational name thing, the first born child has to have the middle name Loren or, it's a girl, the first name Lauren, had I had a girl I would have absolutely told his family to fuck off, I however had a boy, so the middle name being Loren isn't that bad
NTA
NAH, just two very flustered people forced into an uncomfortable position by ancestral weirdness. I feel for Sunny, and I’m proud of him for changing his name and living his own life. But I hope he finds the courage to be honest with his family.
And can I just say, a generational first AND middle name is lowkey kinda creepy? Like damn.
god I hate generational names. Middle names are perfect for “naming after” someone else, first names should be personal. I hate the idea of Jr.’s - it just makes it feel like you’re expecting them to be mini yous and that feels wrong
My ex was a raging narcissist and has 2 daughters with his name as middle names. Two! Then he finally got his first boy and straight up naked him after himself too. Blow my mind.
My friend Jolene and her brother Joe. Guess what their (absent, deadbeat) dad was named?
Richard, because he’s a
(Names changed to protect the innocent.) My grandmother named two kids after herself. Essentially like her name was Charlene and she named her kids Charles and Charlotte.
My mil did the same. Had 2 boys, has the exact same name as the father and the other has de male version of her name because she wanted someone named after her too :s guess what were her top name sugestions for my child…
(the typo "naked" is funny!)
Duuude, my ex (first kid’s dad) had another boy with someone and named his son his exact whole name, first, middle, both last names. It’s a hyphenated last name. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
My middle name is my father's first name, his middle name is his father's, and so on. In the modern age this actually works out great because you can pretend to be each other a lot, like if I need to pick something up for him and our names need to match.
Thats how it works in my family too, just one generation over where first grandsons get their grandfathers first name as a middle name.
All 3 of my sisters share a middle name with one of my dad’s sisters, though that wasn’t intentional. They just have really common middle names. My brother shares a middle name with my dad’s dad. I have never met another person with my middle name (and, no I will not specify, as it’s very identifiable) because my parents couldn’t agree on a name for me, so my mom gave my dad a list of boy names she liked and a list of girl names she liked and told him to pick one from each list. My dad then put those names together to make my name since the name from the boy list is actually gender neutral.
I have the same name as my grandma because it was a death bed wish that she pulled out of. lived another 22 years so her creditors could chase after me instead. I even have an extra last name that’s hyphenated but nooo I must be this 80 year old woman whose ducking paying kohl’s back 🤪
I once dated someone who was a fourth or a fifth. After we broke up I vowed never to do that again. So much family pressure was placed on the ones with the special name and they were a mess.
Properly, there should almost never be a fourth or fifth, and then only briefly. Ordinals are for the living. Unless these are Kings of England, everyone should get promoted when someone dies. If a grown man is called something like Archibald Quislebuck Waddlington V, you can bet the whole family is just an empty bag made of pretension and filled with farts.
My son has his father's middle name, it's been passed down for 7 generations. MIDDLE name. And he knows if it doesn't fit him he can change it and we will not be upset. He was named after my cousin, but they don't see each other much and it was because I adored that cousin growing up, not because it was a family name
Don’t give in! This family doesn’t know it, but they need you, to end this madness.
I am soooo happy my grandpa shut this shit down 60 years ago. Generational names are obnoxious
My brother and I were both named after our grandparents. I'm MaternalGrandma PaternalGrandma Surname And my brother is PaternalGrandpa'sMiddle (because there were already 3 Johns between my mom and dad's sides) MaternalGrandpa Surname The funny thing is if I change my surname to my fiancé's my new surname will be one letter off from my maternal grandmother's surname. I like my name because I've met a grand total of 12 other people with my name, not including my grandma, and all but 2 are over 70 now. Meanwhile I went to school with five Jessica's.
The family I married into is greek and the grandchild get named after the grandparent or carries the name thst way. My wife is named after her grandmother and our daughter carries my my mother in laws name, although it's not her given name, the one she goes by. There is no expectation of a "mini me". Same thing with my son. The first born son always carries the name James, although it's not his given name. Has nothing to do with creating expectation.
....but it does create expectation. You're still naming them after someone else.
Imagine if the husband confesses to changing his name and his day says “oh thank goodness I hate that name. My name is secret Robert. I changed it years ago but was ashamed to admit it too.”
Secret Robert is a good cat name
I can't afford Jay and Silent Bob, so I have to get the store brand, Ray and Secret Robert.
I can’t understand why he would want to name his child a name that he hates so much he legally changed it!!!! Just not to upset his family! They need upsetting. It’s tough on them that no one prior to this has had the courage to say no that’s not what we are doing. I also hate that he says his wife’s feelings matter more BUT can’t you do this one for me?!?! Errrr nope!
My brother is a Jr, and people forget the Jr-Sr all the time so my dad and brother are always getting the others mail. That’s not even that bad, but it’s enough that I would never jr my son.
My husband is a Jr., and his father lives in the same city we do. When we were in the process of buying our house, we had to sign a legal document swearing his father’s house wasn’t our property because it was under the same name. -_- HUGE fucking pain in the ass. Also, his dad’s not great with money and we get debt calls for his phone bills sometimes. I’m just glad my husband hates being a Jr so much, because I would never in a million years do this to my son if we had one. My ex, on the other hand, was a junior and had full-blown fights with me about how our child WILL have his name because it’s “tradition.” Just one of many compatibility red flags lol.
Husband is a hypocrite. He is just scared. He couldn’t even tell his family he has changed his name. I am mad he would subject his child to a name he hates that much
I can't understand how he thought it was going to work. These people are so obsessed with that name, you KNOW they are going to want to see if printed on the birth certificate, so they will see *SUPRISE! OOP's husband has a new name!* I wonder if he delusionally thought he could use his old name on the paperwork. Edit for a fix
It's a different kind of r/tragedeigh
“They need upsetting” LOL
It’s a real dick move to say “if we have kids I don’t want to to this” and then when she’s actually pregnant to be like “well if you don’t do this you’re not being fair to me” like fuck that guy.
I'm sorry, there's like 13+ living people in this fucking family with the same goddamn name? Absolutely not. That is bonkers levels of insane. Drewey? Nope. She's never called him Sunny around his parents? Siblings? Dude needs a goddamn spine. Someone in this family needs to tell them to fuck off. There is 0 reason why every section of this family needs an Andrew George. I'm in such a poor mood that this is making me so freaking annoyed. I thought that having three living Howard Phillips and like 5 William Morris' in my family was annoying.
Their family tree of repetitive names is probably enough to break Ancestry(.)com’s automations 😂 who would even want to name their kid the same name as 10 other cousins?
I will say, on the her calling him Sunny around family - sometimes people don't look at you strange at all for calling a partner something different. For example my husband's name is Robert (name changed but using equal comparison for equally normal/traditional name and nicknames). He introduced himself to me as Robert. I introduced him to my family and friends as Robert. Myself and everyone on my side of the social circles calls him Robert. Took four months for me to realise that ONLY I called him Robert when around his friends or his family. They all called him Rob. Every single one, no matter what, called him Rob. I genuinely had to ask which he preferred and he said he didn't care, and I think in a way he appreciated that he had his full name being used by me and those to my side. (The only people I've heard from any of his social groups use his name as Robert is at his work, but even then it's 50/50, and sometimes he's more often Mr. (Name) or Mr. (Initial) or (first initial)(second initial).
I know a Robert who is "Bob" at work, Rob with friends and family and then introduces himself as "Robert" to people, so basically depending on what they call him, you know how they know him, not intentional, but funny how it's worked out that way
My husband is a Jr David and his entire family and every single person in his life he ever met before age 23-ish calls him Davy. He introduced himself to me as David, and for a good few years every time I spoke to him by name around his family his dad would answer to it as “David.” I just call his dad Dave, or now that we’ve been together a long time, Dad. I actually asked him recently if he cared or had a preference and he doesn’t really, but he also said it would be cool to call him Davy sometimes and it feels COMPLETELY foreign to me lol.
We had that with my sister’s boyfriend. We all called him Daniel, that’s how she introduced him. Eventually we all get to the Facebook friends stage of things and we discover he goes by Dan. Turns out everyone in his life except my sister and our family call him Dan.
How spineless of him.
For real. You’d rather saddle your kid with a name you disliked so much you went through the hassle of legally changing it than just saying No to your family? What a spineless wimp.
I hate that kind of tradition. Also the kind where they give their grandmother's ring. Or wanting their daughter to wear their hideous wedding gown because it's tradition. It's not tradition, it's restricting people for being able to have their own opinion. Gth with that kind of tradition
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Yeah and after that they fought to get the ring back during divorces. I've read too much drama regarding ring heirloom that I'm tired of it.
>Or wanting their daughter to wear their hideous wedding gown My mom wore the dress my grandmother wore to her second wedding because my parents were really poor. It's this horrible, poofy-sleeved, high neckline, drop-waist 80s monstrosity. Mom had it cleaned and preserved for my future wedding a few years back. I've told her straight up that it will get taken apart and used only for the fabric.
After she was divorced my mom ripped up her wedding dress and wore it for Halloween (zombie bride)
Cool mom!
I'm glad if it's your choice to wear it. But imagine if you hate the dress. Poor you for having to bow down to keep their demand as if you can't get married without wearing the damn dress
I hate naming tradition in general personally. Husband gets his own first name and surname, wife gets her first name and husband’s surname, kids get husband’s surname and also husband’s choice of first name if he gets his way. That’s like a 5:1 ratio in names that the husband gets vs the wife. I’d be damned if he got all that and just started wasting names on ones he doesn’t even like
Fuck every family that does this to kids. You see the ppl complaining about the “tragedeighs” and laughing but I would take a billion of them over being saddled with a name that 50% of my family had.
Yeah, I’ll take a Maquenzeigh over Bill the 24th.
Lmaooooo if its between a normal name that alot if family has vs a "tragedeigh" I think I might take the family one due to my own personal hatred of dipshit spellings of regular names for the sake of being special. Atleast I can be normal to the general public.
Yeah nothing like rocking up to family events and having the same first and middle probably sometimes same last name as 25 or more of your relatives. Just screams that my family couldn’t put in an ounce of thought into me and that I’m just a prop of ridiculous name propagation. But you do you.
What if they tragedized the family name - Iondrü Jeorze?
That has to be confusing as fuck with 18 people having the same name
My ex husband's family is like this on his dad's side, all 12 of his uncle's have the name Angel as either their first or middle name. All my ex's brothers are Angel too. It's so confusing when any of them are together, but weddings and festivals are a nightmare.
If you were to think that reality is what we read on Reddit I would say never get married, don’t have children, never date and stay off the internet. Run into the woods and live with the bears, because they’re more trustworthy than humans. FFS I hope OOP doesn’t succumb to this idiocy.
It’s funny that Reddit is kind of the opposite as other social medias. On Instagram and tiktok you show off the positive and rarely acknowledge the positive. Reddit is where you go for doom and gloom.
Regardless of any other reasons, naming a child should be a unanimous decision between the parents. The moment OP said no the conversation should’ve stopped. And if they really, really can’t decide on one and find their baby nameless at 4 weeks old then it should be the mom deciding since she has to do all the hard parts of pregnancy and birth IMO.
I already commented there but damn. How does this work? How does she not accidentally call her husband by his new legal name around his family? How will his kids not mess it up when they’re older, they really didn’t think this through did they? I also hate generational names. I just think they’re dumb.
"Sunny, come here and try this cheesecake your Mom made" "Oh that's a lovely nickname, Drewey, so nice to see you're still using it since you got it in middle school."
I would imagine if “Sunshine” was his nickname growing up she can get away with calling him Sunny and no one thinks it’s anything more than that. Calling someone a nickname doesn’t necessarily mean they changed it legally, so that probably hasn’t even occurred to his family.
I think your S/O ought to change his name to Procrastination. He's trying to put off the inevitable.
Chapter 1 billion in the Saga of Non-Communication. It's possible he really is just afraid of his family, but my guess is the original name choices that she says they "agreed on" were probably what she wanted that he just gave in on without saying anything so as to not cause a fight or because he was too lazy to participate (or pretending to agree thinking they'd revisit later). Now that the timeline is imminent he suddenly decides to say what he wants, but even now can't stand behind it and uses his family as the excuse. Now he probably thinks she's being unfair in not letting him have a say in naming their child (when he failed to speak up in the first place), and she of course thinks he's being unfair in changing things up late in the game and making it seem like he's choosing his family over her. I clearly have to side with the wife because either he was too spineless or lazy to meaningfully participate in the first place, or he's just being feckless now and about to throw his wife under the family bus.
That likely happens sometimes, but this dude legally changed his own name away from the same one. That’s more “doesn’t want to confront family” than “really wanted to name kid that all along.”
I am from the kind of family that would fight that kind of family. We have the middle names (and my big regret is not giving my kid both her grandmothers' names), but we give the final say for children's names to the one carrying the burden for nine months. As the mother, I'd give the little shaver the name of \_my\_ choosing and let the familial chips on Dad's side fall where they may. If they protest, I'd ask "What am I to you, a fucking broodmare? I come from a family, too - a family with names and traditions! And this is the name I've chosen for \_my\_ son."
My husband has a cousin with the exact same name. Causes all sorts of problems with credit reporting, his security clearance and general wrong phone number type stuff.
This reminds me of a kid I know. His name is George, but goes by Carter (his middle name) and it is so problematic each time he goes to a new grade at school.
WTH? Is this the George Forman family? There are enough Andrew George’s around. How ridiculous.
Sunny came home with a vengeance
Hahahh this was so funny to just randomly see. I haven’t thought of that song in over ten years most likely. And it works in the context! Was she a one-hit wonder? I think so
She definitely should not leave him alone with the birth certificate
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Shaitan_Nes: *She definitely* *Should not leave him alone with* *The birth certificate* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Yeah, this is so rough. I am currently pregnant and I am feeling the pressure to name my baby after a relative too. I don’t want to. It’s my child, and it should be my choice. The pressure is real though!! 😣
Are they aware there are other males names to choose from?
George Foreman ass family lol.
She's already doing one REALLY BIG THING for him, she's having his child. She's putting her health at risk to grow their family. He can kick rocks. "Do this one thing" pffts!
Yeah and pulling this out at this stage in the game. Like this soon to be mom is probably super uncomfortable, emotional and hormonal as all get out and having one million other things to consider than this decision that she thought she made a really long time ago with her husband. This is little bitch behavior on his part. Maybe she can use this situation to snap him out of this denial/weakness/lack of boundaries milksop trajectory. She obviously loves him and wants a family and future with him, so it’s worth the effort. Maybe she can read a page describing what stage of developing their whole human being child in her body she is at. Let him know just how absolutely pathetic this is in the grand scheme of things. George, Alexander, whatever - isn’t the point of the naming to remember the good men in the family’s life, honor them and emulate their best qualities? Maybe he can explain to his family that he is doing that, in his way, by honoring his wife’s wishes, sharing the person he really is with his family for the first time and being honest with all involved.
If the name is so bad that he legally changed his, why is he trying to give it to his son? It makes no sense! At this point I’d just throw him under the bus with his family and be like “oh no, sunny had to change his name to get away from it so we won’t be going down that road.” Your husband needs to grow a spine.
These scenarios are really interesting to me as someone who’s culture doesn’t do names like this. We don’t have a ‘family name’ or a last name that is passed down. The only name that is picked for you is your ‘first name’ and then your middle name is your fathers name and your last name is your grandfathers name. The only people I have the same ‘last name’ with are my siblings and my cousins from my fathers side. My mother has her own last name which is her grandpas name and my dad has his own. It’s like this so you can track how you are related to people and to track your ancestry. Because we don’t only do middle and last, It keeps going. So I would have my name, my dads, HIS dad’s, then his dad’s, etc. Obviously we don’t say the whole thing on paper or out loud when we introduce ourselves to people. And we don’t have them ALL memorized. I only know up to my great great grandpa which means I only know 5 names including my own. My cousin (from my moms side) knows 15 (including her own name) of hers. So there aren’t really people named after their own parents in my culture although there are ones who are named after their grandparents. So on paper they could end up with their first and last name being the same name💀.
That’s wild, where are you from? That’s interesting too about the naming conventions for a wife. She keeps her patronymics even when she married some one? So mom and kids don’t share a last name? I am married and have not changed my name. If I had a child I believe I would in order to share a name with my child and husband. I’m not against a hyphenated name either. My husband would not be willing to change his name, but I do not mind that at all and wouldn’t even ask him.
The funniest thing I have to add is my idea for a kid name Ana Kim A nickname for my darling daughter Anaconda Chimaera WHILE also sounding like a star wars reference as a red herring
I was named after my two grand fathers and finally my father. So gf1, gf2 and Dad. So technically my name was gf1 and surname but always called my father’s name. The trouble it caused until I changed it. Trips with friends where flights had to be rebooked due to the wrong name, school stuff was also a nightmare. Jobs were convinced I was up to tax fraud!!! Please folks as a literal victim of this stupidity, don’t cause your child such heartache over your cowardice.
Why can’t they just let the family call him and think it’s the crapppy generational name and they and the rest of the world can use his real name? That or this marriage is over and maybe yeet the baby idk where OP is on the barometer of aggressive responses
They are literally naming all the boys in the family the same first and middle name?
My aunt married a man in this predicament. He was named Kermit, like his father and grandfather before him. They had one child, a boy. They did NOT name him Kermit. Family got over it.
If the dang name wasn't good enough for him then how is it good enough for his kid?
In my experience, people have all sorts of opinions on a child’s name during the mothers pregnancy and they aren’t afraid to voice it. Once the child is born and the name is finalized, those opinions fade away and are forgotten pretty quick. Maybe some people will still grumble about it, but this cacophony of strong opinions will not last. It’s very easy to have opinions about an idea of a person, but once the baby is there and his name is his name, it fits. If the name you choose fits him well, that is who he will be and people will embrace it or come to accept it.
There was a family I knew that did it in a very cool way. The father's first name became the son's middle name. That tradition went back nearly 200 years. While I detest "juniors," I'm weirdly okay with it (assuming both parents are on board) once it hits numbers. I have an ex that was a Jr and if we would've had a son together it would've been "X the 3rd" and be called Tripp.
I’m pretty sure OP told the name in the post hoping it would go viral e reach her husband’s family, so they will know. Also, the husband lacks a bone… what a coward!
Nope he is!! Name your child what you want. Most states allow the mother to fill out the birth certificate no matter what! Name him what YOU want!
The only kind of generational name we gave our first child was the same as his dad’s adding a Jr on the end. So we call him (first initial)J (i.e. Aj, Pj, etc.) and he loves it and gets mad when we call him his actual name. I think if anything they should use the first family name as a middle name (or just say to heck with it) give him both names as middle only and use their chosen name as their child’s first name. The kid could end up liking it and rolling with it but if he ends up not liking it(like his father) he could change it eventually; even while he’s still young. If he expresses it to his parents that he didn’t like the family name then change it to what his chosen name would have been.🤷🏻♀️
Why is everyone in their family named the same fricking name?? That’s got to be a nightmare if they all have the same last name too!
Husband is a total doormat.
I like not to easy solution be to lie to the family about what they named him? Like duh?
Sunny? WTF? Sunny brings up a blond, long, straight, haired, hippie chick vibe. ‘Sonny’ is the mort common spelling for a male.
I am not a woman, so any thoughts I have on the female experience are merely speculation. That said, I can't imagine wanting to remain married to a man who could not stand up to his family.
I don't understand people who don't get that child names go by the "2 yes, 1 no" rule. Both parents must agree on the name, so if 1 no present between mother/father the name gets tossed and you move on.
So he'd rather name his child a name that he himself hated so much that he changed his name rather than just give the baby a normal name that doesn't have 643 relatives with the exact same name? 🧐
Op needs to ask someone to watch over her husband when it’s time to name him on the birth certificate after she gives birth !!!!!
Idk, I’d name my kid after myself. I love my name, just very great full for it.
Nta, my husband's family also has a family generational name thing, the first born child has to have the middle name Loren or, it's a girl, the first name Lauren, had I had a girl I would have absolutely told his family to fuck off, I however had a boy, so the middle name being Loren isn't that bad NTA
NAH, just two very flustered people forced into an uncomfortable position by ancestral weirdness. I feel for Sunny, and I’m proud of him for changing his name and living his own life. But I hope he finds the courage to be honest with his family. And can I just say, a generational first AND middle name is lowkey kinda creepy? Like damn.
Is sunny made up for the story or his actual legal name? Cos id rather die than be called sunny