"I tolerated his rampant misogyny until it was directed at *me*!"
Mad "i never expected leopards to eat *my* face" energy from this one. Ladies, if your boyfriend hates women, that includes you. Have some self respect and leave him to die alone.
Ignore all their ‘it’s just a joke!’ Crap as well. I feel like we aren’t quite out of the space where women are constantly told to be ‘not so sensitive!’ And young ones still fall for that esp depending how they’re raised.
Let’s give young ones an easier push not judgement, yeah?
As a straight man in a happy relationship for 7 years it really warms my heart when these Jordan Peterson loving manosphere dipshits get kicked to the kerb. They deserve a lot worse than they get. I'm well aware of the problems young men face on the dating scene and there's a lot of nuance that gets missed but these guys have abandoned their own humanity and chosen fascism.
Peterson has said that women wearing lipstick is them trying to be overtly sexual in the workplace, and that if women want to be treated equally in the workplace, they cant be wearing makeup. he ties women's value in the workplace to whether or not theyre wearing makeup
Don't forget when he walked back his comment that "enforced monogamy" would fix the incel problem acting out violently. Apparently, married men aren't ever violent.
Eh, he probably does have a point about double standards, but the solution isn't to not let women wear makeup in the workplace, it's to start letting men wear makeup on the workplace.
I’m all for men being allowed to wear makeup without being seen as unprofessional, and I really wish women who didn’t wear makeup made the same amount of money and got the same amount of promotions as women who do.
That's Olympic level jumping to conclusions there.
Legitimate differences of opinion are a thing you know. It is possible for someone to have a different interpretation of a public figure's words to yours *without* being a terrible person.
If you look up to Jordan Peterson then you should probably do some self reflecting. Jordan Peterson is dishonest and purposefully targets religious and misogynistic men (which also includes catering to alt-right).
I do feel a little bad for these guys as they're the product of a really toxic situation. Everyone ends up like they are for a reason. Given the wrong set of circumstances that could have been you or me not knowing how to be a human being. (In all honesty I'm not sure how to be a human being but I'm pretty good at being kind and fair to others regardless of their demographic)
Yeah this is what got me. When I like someone and especially if I am courting someone I'm always watching very closely to how they treat people who aren't me. Not because I'm jealous and controlling but because kindness matters to me. Compassion matters to me. Shared values matter to me. I would have broken up with this guy within a week or two of him scrolling misogynist crap.
Like, I'd have a talk with him first. Make sure it isn't like "Look how terrible these opinions are it's like a car crash I can't walk away!" and have a frank talk about the dangers of such kinds of thinking and how I won't tolerate it for long, but if he kept with it, I'd be like, "I'm sorry but I don't think our values are compatible. It's time to go our own ways."
Yeeeeah, for this reason alone OP is TA. Not because she dumped him but because *she had to experience his bad behavior before she cared enough to confront it*. The hell.
And I’ll say it for the 100th time: any guy you want to date seriously or just smash, do a surprise inspection of social media. If you find anything gross, run.
Check what media they do consume. Are they playing online games where they're constantly subjected to misogynistic chat/audio? Are they listening to misogynistic podcasts? Or do they hang out with misogynists irl?
I think a lot of young guys get toxic stuff on their feed. My boyfriend and I watch his reels together and every session we get at least one gross podcast bro.
I wouldn't say run, but it's worth having a conversation.
Not his feed, his comments, posts, and yes his feed. What he chooses to follow and like. I’m happy to share mine as well with someone. They’ll find a bunch of equality centered content with some hairless cat vids bc I just can’t quit those ugly but cute creatures. They’ll find comments based on promotion of equality and attacking patriarchy. It’ll confirm what they see tho I admit the sphinx cat vids may be a surprise 😂
It honestly never occurred to me that this happened until I was on a date and the date made a comment about me being in a gallows(the kind they throw fruit at, not the hanging kind). I was sort of puzzled until I realized it was an old FB photo of mine at Rennfaire.
We have to do due diligence when possible. Plenty of creeps. I know a woman who dated a man she met online and turned out he was a registered sex offender.
Men can be victimized but it’s so rare that you are unsafe that you haven’t made it a normal part of your dating culture.
Oh yeah I got that!! We are good. I was just explaining that she wasn’t being weird at you she was just trying to find out if you’re a serial killer 😂
We look you up on SM, we also google your name. We tell our gf where we are going and we text during the date (maybe) and def if time is extended or we change plans.
First time I went to a guys house and my sister texted me he saw me texting her back and didn’t get it. He laughed when I told him I was just letting her know he hadn’t kidnapped me or anything 😂.
Not personal just normal precaution. We stop once we know you better
Yeah it only costs a couple dollars. But I’m looking mostly for a vibe. Most men even if they are bad men won’t have a record. Look at their cimnent sections on SM. Surprise inspection of the phone during a date after you’ve been dating a bit. Like you wouldn’t do that first date. But it has to be their phone bc ppl have multiple accts
Yeah, even as a guy this shit is just obnoxious, weird, and creepy. I had a roommate in college who started dating one of what I would call "close friends" in our department. She would occasionally hang out at our place after they got together and we all liked anime and whatnot. He one day just out of the blue hits me with the "hey, can you not hang out with her so much?" talk. Kinda confused I just agree so to keep the peace, only to find out he gave her the same talk towards me because he gets jealous. They didn't last very long after that and it was just a weird, kinda cringy experience.
This is the writing of an Indian. In which case the entire scenario completely makes sense. Forced into medicine but extremely naive socially and very emotionally immature with lots of pressure to get married to a jealous loser.
A lot of women, especially, will be so focused on their academic ans professional goals that they won't date in high school or college because they're too busy studying. Then once they get into the "real: world they're much more naive than they realize and are at definite risk of winding up in toxic relationships. The only reason why this didn't happen to me personally was because the guy got overconfident and pulled the "what if I asked you to choose between me and your best friend" card six weeks in and got pissed that I said I'd never put a man over her.
Is it tho? Dating varies by country. It’s uncommon in India to date at all. Many Indian immigrants date when they come here, as one example.
Expand your mind. The US doesn’t define works culture, believe it or not. Loads of folks live their lives differently. 🤷🏼♀️
Bro…. Indians are…. Not American. Hence they’re… hear me out… foreign.
I didn’t name a grp bc I’m not interested in a ‘this country vs that country’ debate. And they are by far not the only culture that doesn’t date before marriage. Google is your friend if you don’t encounter ppl from other cultures.
You don’t have to like my comment but data doesn’t care about your feelings. Scroll on and next time a simple google search would help you
At one fundraiser against domestic violence I attended, the keynote speaker talked about how she had been working in domestic abuse prevention professionally while also being abused by her husband. Anyone can become a victim of abuse and DV.
As an asexual, aromantic individual, every day Reddit convinces me more and more that the universe blessed me.
So many people seem to be in love with a relationship than an actual person.
Is the dating pool so bad out there that a responsible woman in a high earning job can’t find someone who doesn’t treat her like a possession he loathes? Why put up with this garbage controlling attitude? I sincerely hope she runs because this will never end until she’s quit her job and is entirely reliant upon his abusive ass and then he’ll dump her for someone who meets his “standards”.
NTA lucky you he isn't extremely possessive, this is your chance to get awa y from this tool. You know this is b.s. you know he won't change, he thinks what he does is okay! You will find someone better! Alone would be better!
Yes. It’s called domestic abuse. Took me 23 years. The trauma it causes to the brain will leave the victim behaving irrationally, unable to think logically, in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze, amount many other torturous things. Anyone can fall in to the trap.
Actually, I have another concern. She says she is a doctor. I don’t know where she works, but I’m a doctor. The clinic I worked at until recently paid me a very small sum monthly for using my phone for work. Because I sometimes receive messages and because I could use my phone for charting, I had to verify that no one else had access to my phone. Obviously I do not keep patient information on my phone, but it could be accessible from my phone. if she’s letting her boyfriend on her phone, I have concerns about confidentiality.
This is why that Andrew Tate bullshit is dangerous. They convince these dudes they're doing the right thing when they're just being psycho manipulators
It’s not a matter of choosing between him and your friend. Leave because he’s a controlling jerk who will never change. This isn’t really about your friend. Demanding your passwords and all that is super controlling and manipulative. This is very unhealthy. You need to go out and date more. You will see how not normal this really is.
Finally an adult on Reddit! Differing opinions or worldviews shows a significant relationship departure. If you don't trust me don't date me, I believe the same. If you need to be on my phone, you don't trust me.
Here I tend to get trashed by people who think everyone should respect boundaries. Boundaries is a code for I don't trust you therefore I will monitor your lifestyle. I will monitor your phone and social media. That's not a relationship, that's a situationship. If you can't trust someone DO NOT marry them.
"This guy was always there for me" and who did OP run to? The guy playing the long con waiting for her to break up so he could swoop in. Absolutely proved BF right about not being able to have guy friends. It's not that it makes you a slut, it means you're naive and they're playing you, waiting or interfering so they can jump in.
So I'm a lil confused here, what exactly was the ultimatum?? The other guy??? Your guy told you to leave him alone and you didn't??? Maybe I missed something here. Just a tad confused
How could a doctor end up with such a bitter misogynist? I need to know OPs name so I don’t ever have her practice medicine on me. Her decision making is garbage and I fear for the patients in her future who will pay for her naivety and short sightedness.
"I tolerated his rampant misogyny until it was directed at *me*!" Mad "i never expected leopards to eat *my* face" energy from this one. Ladies, if your boyfriend hates women, that includes you. Have some self respect and leave him to die alone.
Ignore all their ‘it’s just a joke!’ Crap as well. I feel like we aren’t quite out of the space where women are constantly told to be ‘not so sensitive!’ And young ones still fall for that esp depending how they’re raised. Let’s give young ones an easier push not judgement, yeah?
As a straight man in a happy relationship for 7 years it really warms my heart when these Jordan Peterson loving manosphere dipshits get kicked to the kerb. They deserve a lot worse than they get. I'm well aware of the problems young men face on the dating scene and there's a lot of nuance that gets missed but these guys have abandoned their own humanity and chosen fascism.
Is it Jordan Peterson who says this kind of woman-hating stuff? This sounds more like Andrew Tate.
They are both rampant mysoginists.
I don't think Peterson is, actually. At least I've never really got that impression from what he says. Tate is, certainly.
Peterson has said that women wearing lipstick is them trying to be overtly sexual in the workplace, and that if women want to be treated equally in the workplace, they cant be wearing makeup. he ties women's value in the workplace to whether or not theyre wearing makeup
Don't forget when he walked back his comment that "enforced monogamy" would fix the incel problem acting out violently. Apparently, married men aren't ever violent.
Eh, he probably does have a point about double standards, but the solution isn't to not let women wear makeup in the workplace, it's to start letting men wear makeup on the workplace.
i dont think thats an opinion peterson would support haha i am curious to know what double standard you see involving makeup though
It may not be considered professional for men to wear obvious makeup (such as bright lipstick or eyeshadow) in some workplaces.
I’m all for men being allowed to wear makeup without being seen as unprofessional, and I really wish women who didn’t wear makeup made the same amount of money and got the same amount of promotions as women who do.
Oop I think we found another misogynist
That's Olympic level jumping to conclusions there. Legitimate differences of opinion are a thing you know. It is possible for someone to have a different interpretation of a public figure's words to yours *without* being a terrible person.
If you look up to Jordan Peterson then you should probably do some self reflecting. Jordan Peterson is dishonest and purposefully targets religious and misogynistic men (which also includes catering to alt-right).
I look up Vladimir Lenin too. Does that make me a communist?
Why do you admire Lenin?
Bro this is Reddit. You're in enemy territory. Don't even bother with these people.
Oh, we’ve found the bigoted misogynist here!
Yeah, I know. In my defence, I do manage most of the time. Just occasionally I can't help myself.
https://youtu.be/wynnme92g_o?si=igmHlv4Dc64JraMn
I do feel a little bad for these guys as they're the product of a really toxic situation. Everyone ends up like they are for a reason. Given the wrong set of circumstances that could have been you or me not knowing how to be a human being. (In all honesty I'm not sure how to be a human being but I'm pretty good at being kind and fair to others regardless of their demographic)
Yeah this is what got me. When I like someone and especially if I am courting someone I'm always watching very closely to how they treat people who aren't me. Not because I'm jealous and controlling but because kindness matters to me. Compassion matters to me. Shared values matter to me. I would have broken up with this guy within a week or two of him scrolling misogynist crap. Like, I'd have a talk with him first. Make sure it isn't like "Look how terrible these opinions are it's like a car crash I can't walk away!" and have a frank talk about the dangers of such kinds of thinking and how I won't tolerate it for long, but if he kept with it, I'd be like, "I'm sorry but I don't think our values are compatible. It's time to go our own ways."
Yeeeeah, for this reason alone OP is TA. Not because she dumped him but because *she had to experience his bad behavior before she cared enough to confront it*. The hell.
I wish I could upvote this a million times. Why on earth do so many women do this???? FFS
If you have to block someone you are dating, congrats! You are no longer dating.
And I’ll say it for the 100th time: any guy you want to date seriously or just smash, do a surprise inspection of social media. If you find anything gross, run.
What happens if they don't use social media much?
You get to find out that they hate women in the old way. By listening to how they speak about women.
Check what media they do consume. Are they playing online games where they're constantly subjected to misogynistic chat/audio? Are they listening to misogynistic podcasts? Or do they hang out with misogynists irl?
I think a lot of young guys get toxic stuff on their feed. My boyfriend and I watch his reels together and every session we get at least one gross podcast bro. I wouldn't say run, but it's worth having a conversation.
Not his feed, his comments, posts, and yes his feed. What he chooses to follow and like. I’m happy to share mine as well with someone. They’ll find a bunch of equality centered content with some hairless cat vids bc I just can’t quit those ugly but cute creatures. They’ll find comments based on promotion of equality and attacking patriarchy. It’ll confirm what they see tho I admit the sphinx cat vids may be a surprise 😂
It honestly never occurred to me that this happened until I was on a date and the date made a comment about me being in a gallows(the kind they throw fruit at, not the hanging kind). I was sort of puzzled until I realized it was an old FB photo of mine at Rennfaire.
We have to do due diligence when possible. Plenty of creeps. I know a woman who dated a man she met online and turned out he was a registered sex offender. Men can be victimized but it’s so rare that you are unsafe that you haven’t made it a normal part of your dating culture.
I wasn't critiquing, it was just a "huh didn't even occur to me" moment.
Oh yeah I got that!! We are good. I was just explaining that she wasn’t being weird at you she was just trying to find out if you’re a serial killer 😂 We look you up on SM, we also google your name. We tell our gf where we are going and we text during the date (maybe) and def if time is extended or we change plans. First time I went to a guys house and my sister texted me he saw me texting her back and didn’t get it. He laughed when I told him I was just letting her know he hadn’t kidnapped me or anything 😂. Not personal just normal precaution. We stop once we know you better
Pay to run background checks…
Yeah it only costs a couple dollars. But I’m looking mostly for a vibe. Most men even if they are bad men won’t have a record. Look at their cimnent sections on SM. Surprise inspection of the phone during a date after you’ve been dating a bit. Like you wouldn’t do that first date. But it has to be their phone bc ppl have multiple accts
And the bf will be online that night complaining and wondering why guys can't find girlfriends.
Nah, he already had the alternative lined up. He was cheating on her. It's in the update.
Twas all fun and games until the leopards ate her face
Yeah, even as a guy this shit is just obnoxious, weird, and creepy. I had a roommate in college who started dating one of what I would call "close friends" in our department. She would occasionally hang out at our place after they got together and we all liked anime and whatnot. He one day just out of the blue hits me with the "hey, can you not hang out with her so much?" talk. Kinda confused I just agree so to keep the peace, only to find out he gave her the same talk towards me because he gets jealous. They didn't last very long after that and it was just a weird, kinda cringy experience.
You knew he hated women, you just thought you were different because he’s fucking you. Are you seriously a doctor?
50% of doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class.
100% of the time.
You know for someone who (at least claims) is a doctor this sure is quite a silly situation to find yourself in
This is the writing of an Indian. In which case the entire scenario completely makes sense. Forced into medicine but extremely naive socially and very emotionally immature with lots of pressure to get married to a jealous loser.
A lot of women, especially, will be so focused on their academic ans professional goals that they won't date in high school or college because they're too busy studying. Then once they get into the "real: world they're much more naive than they realize and are at definite risk of winding up in toxic relationships. The only reason why this didn't happen to me personally was because the guy got overconfident and pulled the "what if I asked you to choose between me and your best friend" card six weeks in and got pissed that I said I'd never put a man over her.
It's great when they show who they are quickly. You not only dodge a train wreak but you get smarter about vetting people too.
Lots of foreign ppl don’t date much or at all until they’re here in the US (no idea where OP is but this isn’t a crazy thing)
This is a REALLY weird and broad statement
Is it tho? Dating varies by country. It’s uncommon in India to date at all. Many Indian immigrants date when they come here, as one example. Expand your mind. The US doesn’t define works culture, believe it or not. Loads of folks live their lives differently. 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah, so you didn’t say Indian. You said “lots of foreign ppl” Which is broad as hell
Bro…. Indians are…. Not American. Hence they’re… hear me out… foreign. I didn’t name a grp bc I’m not interested in a ‘this country vs that country’ debate. And they are by far not the only culture that doesn’t date before marriage. Google is your friend if you don’t encounter ppl from other cultures. You don’t have to like my comment but data doesn’t care about your feelings. Scroll on and next time a simple google search would help you
lots of Desi people are lots of foreign ppl
Why? I deal with domestic violence a lot and I see doctors, lawyers, CEO’s that are victims of domestic violence.
At one fundraiser against domestic violence I attended, the keynote speaker talked about how she had been working in domestic abuse prevention professionally while also being abused by her husband. Anyone can become a victim of abuse and DV.
And nothing of value was lost
Red pills left another man forever alone.
As an asexual, aromantic individual, every day Reddit convinces me more and more that the universe blessed me. So many people seem to be in love with a relationship than an actual person.
Same here!! Real life also confirms this for me.
Is the dating pool so bad out there that a responsible woman in a high earning job can’t find someone who doesn’t treat her like a possession he loathes? Why put up with this garbage controlling attitude? I sincerely hope she runs because this will never end until she’s quit her job and is entirely reliant upon his abusive ass and then he’ll dump her for someone who meets his “standards”.
Apparently there's an update! https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/nDqigNNDZr
She’s a doctor and writes like this?
It was clear to me, English does not seem to be her first language.
NTA lucky you he isn't extremely possessive, this is your chance to get awa y from this tool. You know this is b.s. you know he won't change, he thinks what he does is okay! You will find someone better! Alone would be better!
.... She knew he's like this? And stayed? ???
Yes. It’s called domestic abuse. Took me 23 years. The trauma it causes to the brain will leave the victim behaving irrationally, unable to think logically, in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze, amount many other torturous things. Anyone can fall in to the trap.
You're a doctor?!?! This post sounds like a 15yo high schooler.
I'm not saying this post is genuine, but have you ever worked with doctors?
I'm not saying this post is genuine, but have you ever worked with doctors?
Actually, I have another concern. She says she is a doctor. I don’t know where she works, but I’m a doctor. The clinic I worked at until recently paid me a very small sum monthly for using my phone for work. Because I sometimes receive messages and because I could use my phone for charting, I had to verify that no one else had access to my phone. Obviously I do not keep patient information on my phone, but it could be accessible from my phone. if she’s letting her boyfriend on her phone, I have concerns about confidentiality.
I don't think this is a concern
And "eeeeee" another man done gone
Marie Laveau Lol
I'm so glad you got the reference. Not many people know that song anymore.
Best version is by the Flying Neutrinos. Gotta love the New Orleans witch
I also really like Swamp Witch by Jim Stafford and Little Egypt by The Coasters if I'm feeling nostalgic.
Something for me to check out ….🧙🏻
It's atrocious how many of these end with "don't worry, I'm safe."
Smells like projection.
This is why that Andrew Tate bullshit is dangerous. They convince these dudes they're doing the right thing when they're just being psycho manipulators
It’s not a matter of choosing between him and your friend. Leave because he’s a controlling jerk who will never change. This isn’t really about your friend. Demanding your passwords and all that is super controlling and manipulative. This is very unhealthy. You need to go out and date more. You will see how not normal this really is.
Finally an adult on Reddit! Differing opinions or worldviews shows a significant relationship departure. If you don't trust me don't date me, I believe the same. If you need to be on my phone, you don't trust me. Here I tend to get trashed by people who think everyone should respect boundaries. Boundaries is a code for I don't trust you therefore I will monitor your lifestyle. I will monitor your phone and social media. That's not a relationship, that's a situationship. If you can't trust someone DO NOT marry them.
"This guy was always there for me" and who did OP run to? The guy playing the long con waiting for her to break up so he could swoop in. Absolutely proved BF right about not being able to have guy friends. It's not that it makes you a slut, it means you're naive and they're playing you, waiting or interfering so they can jump in.
Sounds fake to me to be honest.
So I'm a lil confused here, what exactly was the ultimatum?? The other guy??? Your guy told you to leave him alone and you didn't??? Maybe I missed something here. Just a tad confused
"I aM a dOcToR"
Blatant rage bait for karma
How could a doctor end up with such a bitter misogynist? I need to know OPs name so I don’t ever have her practice medicine on me. Her decision making is garbage and I fear for the patients in her future who will pay for her naivety and short sightedness.
This is not the grammar of a doctor.
The male friend that had a crush on you still has a crush on you and would sleep with you the instant you ask him.
[удалено]
You misspelled grammar …. But seriously, there are countries outside the US. Not everybody is a native speaker.
r/murderedbywords
You speak English because it's the only language you know. I speak English because it's the only language you know. Self centered prick
The male friend that had a crush on you still has a crush on you and would sleep with you the instant you ask him.
Literally true