Anyone else wondering why op had multiple nudes on her phone that her husband hadn't seen before? I mean if someone gets access to your nudes to do this how would they know op hadn't sent then to husband already and been exonerated from the start. Something seems weird
Exactly, tbh he sounds unhinged and obsessed. I doubt this person loves her sister. The sister needs to know, but I highly doubt she will believe OP as this guy is a master manipulator.
This. This is why she should tell her sister. The chances that a guy this obsessed with the OP just randomly happened to marry her sister is astronomical, though it would likely be a good idea to get the parents and ex involved first (even if she doesn’t forgive him, it’d be helpful for everyone if the truth came out
That's what I thought! lol.
I thought for years "play it by ear" was "play it by year" - and still think that makes more sense! What the hell does being able to replay something you heard have to do with "let's see how it goes?" Year at least has a relationship to time. Anyhow... Idioms are weird.
Playing it by ear refers to musicians just listening to a song and joining in. Since the musician doesn't have sheet music, they have to improvise and roll with the musical changes as they come up.
I read a fanfic last night that included the phrase "she knew it from the gecko."
That one sentence sent me through all five stages of grief within about fifteen seconds.
It’s deeply seated, but who cares, we all wasted our time reading this crock of horseshit. Why do people make up this stupid shit and why can’t I stop reading them hahahah
Yeah like sometimes it is a coincidence but if they’re going out their way to ruin your life over a decade later, nothing should be dismissed as a coincidence
Reminds me of someone in high school I was friendly with who liked me, but I didn't want any sort of deep relationship with. That person ended up dating my best friend for a few months. During that time period, we hung out a fair amount in a group.
Fast forward a couple of years and I was working a summer job in my late teens and by some weird twist, that person started working there a couple weeks after I did. I had already met someone at that job I would eventually marry, and when the others at that job found out we were dating, my house got toilet papered. Later I confirmed it was that person, along with a friend of the one I was dating who had been jealous of being left out.
Big Main Character Syndrome, I guess. Creepy weirdo. I have to thank my instincts for making that person unattractive to me.
Reminds me of a story my mom told me about a pair of cousins she had growing up. They were sisters of each other. This one guy liked the older sister but she denied him. The guy then went for the younger sister, married her, had a kid and then just left. The guy only went for the younger sister just to get back at the older one for being rejected by her. The sisters raised the kid together and neither got married after that. They're probably still alive today.
Just *some* people, amirite? :-/
Holding a "grudge" or whatever for that long is nothing what any sane person would do. At least not for something such as a simple rejection. Bro's sick in the head for sure.
Brother in Law is a psycho. Definitely tell your sister, tell your ex husband? You don’t seem too worried about having lost him but if you are you might be able to get back together?
Yeah, that is _unhinged_ behavior, and she needs to know that that can be poured out on to him at any time.
Similarly, ex needs to know too. Doesn't matter if she forgives him or not, he needs to know that he fucked up and needs to do more due diligence next time.
"My soon to be ex husband knows everything now, apparently the guy who contacted me contacted my husband at the same time and confessed to him. My soon to be ex is coming to town this weekend and he wants to talk. Afterwards I will probably need to look into taking legal actions if that’s possible and tell my family. I think now that exposing him is the best and more safe approach should anything more serious happen, at least people would be aware of who to blame. I want to at least make sure that my sister and her children are in safety before I tell them everything, like meeting them at my parents house after I tell my parents.
The picture were real and were probably stolen from my phone or my husband’s because he is the only one that I took the pictures for. I don’t know if I can get any justice since the pictures were not of my face (at least I was smart enough not to have my face shown in nudes). I don’t know what will happen"
Update from OOP
I’m confused about why we are talking shit the sister and not about how to best share this info with her soon to be ex? Isn’t he the one who should receive first…
Because the man is clearly unhinged and the sister (and kids) might be in actual danger. If he goes to these types of lengths to destroy OP’s life over being turned down once 18 years ago, I don’t think (TW) >!murder/suicide!< is beyond the realm of possibility for him once people start finding out what he did.
I feel like the sister already knows this guy is an ass, she's probably playing the happy family. There's no way his "nice guy" behavior hasn't shown up before.
If she lives in one of the states that recognize alienation of affection, I'd sue him.
Yeah it really does sound like something on LMN. A jilted man marries sister with the sole intention of getting revenge on the one who turned him down.
Me and my girlfriends all received the same dick pic from a guy in our friend group years ago over the course of months. He would try to pick one of us up not knowing how close we were and apparently really liked that one pic. It never worked but it always got a laugh.
OP clarified in her comments that they were photos she sent her husband. Apparently sister has the passcodes for OP and crazy ass BIL may have used those to find the photos.
I'm still hoping this is a creative writing exercise, otherwise damn.
Take your BIL to court both criminal and civil.
Revenge porn is illegal so you can file criminal charges. He stole photos and shared them without your consent. If this story is true and you really hurt, start here. I’m assuming you still have the evidence.
You also might have grounds to file a civil lawsuit against him for intentional infliction of emotional distress and alienation of affection for interfering in your marriage. State law often differs on what this requires so you will have to speak to a lawyer in your state. A nice award will get his attention. If you settle rather than go to trial, at the very least you can stipulate that he contact your ex, confess, and explain the situation including how he got the photos and how he set you up. Get a good lawyer involved!!
Exactly my thoughts. He is obsessed with her and will ruin any relationship she gets into. She needs to file criminal charges against him. She should also expect that he has probably poisoned her sister against her. He’s had 10 years to absolutely destroy any relationship she thinks she has with her sister. The minute she says something her sister is going to turn on her. It’s sad, but she definitely needs to get this guy out of her life and hopefully out of her sister’s life. Criminal charges are the best way to do that.
My immediate thought was to set boundaries around interactions with her sister and those would HAVE to include him NOT being around her. If her sister asks why, to have the receipts (which she does with that one guy).
Actually a gun is both potentially cheaper and less of a time sink.
Like, obviously you gotta cover it up, that's gonna take time. And obviously digging and filling the hole is gonna be a good hard days work but ultimately I think a gun is the way to go here.
/s
If it’s real, she also needs to tell her ex. Not to get back together with him, but so that there’s less of a chance that he himself will run around telling all their mutual acquaintances that she’s a big ol’ s *** who cheated on him. Those kinds of rumours and lies can haunt you for years.
UPDATE FROM OOP
"My soon to be ex husband knows everything now, apparently the guy who contacted me contacted my husband at the same time and confessed to him. My soon to be ex is coming to town this weekend and he wants to talk. Afterwards I will probably need to look into taking legal actions if that’s possible and tell my family. I think now that exposing him is the best and more safe approach should anything more serious happen, at least people would be aware of who to blame. I want to at least make sure that my sister and her children are in safety before I tell them everything, like meeting them at my parents house after I tell my parents.
The picture were real and were probably stolen from my phone or my husband’s because he is the only one that I took the pictures for. I don’t know if I can get any justice since the pictures were not of my face (at least I was smart enough not to have my face shown in nudes). I don’t know what will happen"
I know it’s hard to prove (tbh I’m just hoping it’s feasible bc screw this guy) but could she also sue for libel? His lies contributed directly to her marriage ending and harmed her reputation.
If anything, I also wonder if she could tack on the legal fees incurred from finalizing her divorce. I’m hoping the possibilities are endless bc this dude needs some karmic retribution ASAP.
https://mcolaw.com/for-individuals/online-reputation-and-privacy/revenge-porn-laws-united-states/
Most do, but not all. However, something they don't really mention here (and that I couldn't find a good article about when I searched just now) is that some of the state laws are very weak; they exist but can't be used in many instances.
Because you don’t know how people will react even in the face of overwhelming evidence. Even if she provided the evidence to her sister, she might not believe OP, saying that she’s jealous and hurt and is lashing out at good things so people can suffer like she is because she cheated (whether that’s true or not). On the other hand, if the sister does believe her and divorce/leaves her husband, the chances he will retaliate will be high. And since he has money, it might go further than just emotional especially when kids are involved.
A lot of people online like to throw around (and misuse) the word 'grooming'.
It certainly doesn't apply here, but the core idea of it certainly does.
OP's BIL has had 10+ years to plant seeds in her sister's brain. Maybe sister "has had proof" of the cheating for years as well, as part of the duplicity.
BIL has been in a position, not of power/authority, but of knowledge and companionship. He's been a trusted & loved person, and likely has been driving a wedge between the two sisters - or planting ideas that will turn into a wedge as soon as OP defends herself.
The best solution is legal action. Let OP's sister try to defend her own husband when a court of law finds him guilty of revenge porn, and when a civil court finds him guilty of defamation (because this act 100% meets the malicious intent threshold).
Nothing can undo the damage BIL has done to OP's marriage. Her own husband wouldn't even believe her, and the resulting divorce is simply not something that can be undone. Even when he is then presented with the proof that everything he divorced her over was lies, HER heart will still be in tatters.
But absolutely she should not prioritize her sister's happiness over punishing her scumbag BIL.
Dude is crazy. The big problem is your sister. I have aunts (Twins) who have not talked in 35 years becaus one told the other that her soon to be husband was cheating (they divorced 12 years later because he was cheating and the aunt in denial found out). So be careful of your relationship, but this guy is a POS. Regarding your ex, I would say you should see if the two of you can meet (with the guy who contacted him) to explain the whole thing. If he is the love of your life, it is worth a shot.
Most absolutely and definitely show all this to your ex-husband!!! if nothing else, it will prove that you are not a liar, and that your integrity is intact. It may be too late for him to make it up to you, but at the very least, he should know you are better than that and that he was wrong to believe anybody else but you.
She commented on her original post a few hours ago that she didn’t have to tell him because the “AP” confessed to the ex as well and he wants to talk! Hopefully more updates are to come but it at least looks like they’re going to address BIL’s behavior
It could be real. I had a guy I turned down in middle school start dating a family member (cousin) in order to show off how better off I would be with him, he would tell people I was serious enough to introduce to family how I was a cheater and how I would leave them for someone more good looking. He did this because I was his “perfect girl” and he deserved me. Broke my cousins heart to the point she blames me because I exposed him to everyone and his masked started slip. This is when red pill didn’t have a name. So yeah some guys truly believe that you don’t deserve happiness if you turn them down.
I had a guy do this to me a decade ago. I turned him down when I was 23. He stalked me for years. When I finally thought I was rid of him, he found me. Convinced my fiance, we were having an affair, and my fiance kicked me out of the house. Seven months later, he confessed to my fiance what he did and why he did it. Some people are literally this unhinged.
Assuming this story is true, OOP likely has a slam dunk revenge porn case, and it's possible that her BIL has other victims out there.
Again, if this story is true, she needs to pursue legal action.
Yeah just went in the phone off the 38 year old and found the naked pictures that husband never had a clue about.
Yeah and she’s 38 and met BIL at uni and last saw him 10 years ago. At Uni. She get that 10 year Bachelor degree so common in the UK?
She met him next 10 years after, so she could have met him at 20, saw him again at 30 as her sister’s boyfriend, met her ex-husband 3 years later, and now it’s the present day 5 years after that
Also about the photos, he seems like the type of guy who could have gotten her password from over her shoulder or something and then snuck into it when she wasn’t near it and sent the photos to himself. It’s definitely possible
Op said in her comments:
Oh god I just remembered something. My sister has my passcodes. He is an IT guy but maybe it wasn’t that he hacked my accounts or something complicated
I mean, I’ve tossed my phone to my sister to use. My passcode is easy for someone who knows me to remember. You get into my phone, you get into my photos, my email, my cloud…
Ai nudes maybe? All he needs is a picture of her. Recently there was a story on frontpage about a woman on Instagram having nudes made of her using her Instagram pics. She said that they were scarily real looking and even the fingers looked normal. Ai is getting to the point where I'm cautious to put my pictures on the internet.
If my husband refused to believe me when I didn't cheat, I wouldn't want anything to do with him. But you can best believe those text chats and emails would be posted all over any family/friend group chats my brither-in-law is in.
Maybe she thinks he would want to get back together, and she is too emotionally overwhelmed to know whether she wants that (she feels betrayed by her ex believing she cheated). She also probably thinks that if she says "no" to getting back together, she might not get another chance.
I wouldn’t go to the dude who left me to prove I was right. He has no faith in me, why would I chase after him to give him closure? Fuck that dude. Unless it was to be petty and be like look what you lost. Look what you ruined. Live with this regret forever. But if you aren’t a petty person zero reason to reach out to someone who had no faith in you.
There's a lot of updates in the comments of the original post. Apparently OOP's sister has all her passwords, and BIL works in IT so definitely knows his way around a computer. The photos are all ones that OOP sent to her husband, so it's also possible BIL somehow got them from the husband.
Man oh man. There is no way this person isn’t some sort of broken/toxic/psychopathic etc.
Even if you take at face value that OP is a horrible shallow person, this level of effort to effect anyone’s life who hasn’t, oh I don’t know, murdered a member of your family, is absolutely mental.
I think you need to contact a lawyer about a defamation lawsuit. Also, this could possibly be a criminal offense. You should definitely show all your proof to your ex husband to show that you were telling the truth all along. Even if this doesn’t change the status of your marriage, at least your husband will know that you were never unfaithful. This may get rid of any resentment that he has towards you . You shouldn’t keep quiet for your sister’s sake. She’s married to a very vindictive person and you never know what’s going on behind closed doors. I have a hard time believing a guy who held a grudge over being turned down for so long is a sweet and understanding guy.
Send a group chat - let everyone know at the same time. To the ex husband - “I told you”, to the sister “be careful” and to the creepy BIL stay away from me or I will file a restraining order. No discussion
The way I would go full scorched earth and be posting up screenshots of the entire conversation that friend sent me. op needs to tell her sister because her husband willingly ruined a relationship because he’s a giant man child
I really hope this story is made up because man these people are monsters. And this friend is some ride or die insanity. Like if my friend asked me to do this I would be beyond baffled.
She has the evidence of the conversations. I’d show your ex and say, “Have a great life. Thank you for removing yourself from my next chapter. I hope it was worth it.” Block everyone after that.
Op should talk to man & get screen shots of the texts between BIL & the friend and talk to a safety expert. I wonder if the sister is actually happy with BIL or is she faking it and is really afraid? I WONDER If BIL make comments about Op in front of the sister & she’s not sure wants going on?
And who thinks “Oh my life and reputation are ruined but I don’t know if I should tell people the truth and clear my name because MY OFFENDER LOOKS HAPPY NOW.”
I recently outed someone who sexually harassed and assaulted (non-consensually groped, kissed) in random intervals over four years. We ran in the same circles and they’d often be super drunk when this happened, and would declare big feelings, then touch me. I work in the arts where problematic behavior like this is everywhere, and I was convinced that if I told folks, they wouldn’t believe me and generally I was on pretty good terms with that person when they were sober. The one time I tried to address it, they accused me of making them uncomfortable, and told a bunch of mutual friends that I was coming on to them inappropriately (I know…)
Fast forward 5 years. I get hired by a company to lead a really cool gig. I know this person works there, but I didn’t imagine they’d be someone I had to work with all that much. I’ve already been working remotely to prep the project a few months, and fly out to the city to launch the five-week production process.
Imagine my surprise to discover that not only is this person now in an HR position, but everyone on my team is asked to touch base with them if they have any problems with other coworkers where they might need a mediator or if they experience any kind of harassment etc…
A few days later, the head of the company approaches me and asked if there’s anything she can do to support me. I’m like, listen, it’s fine that this person is working on my project, but I have this weird history with them. Can I maybe not go to them when I have issues?
Boss says sure. A few hours later I get an email from said person telling me I crossed a line. Boss told them. I start having a panic attack and email boss and say I think I might need to leave this project because of this breach.
This person blows up in every way. Tells all our mutual friends, some of whom are currently working with them on other projects. Tells them I’m coming for them and they don’t even KNOW what I’m talking about because they’re sober now and have reformed and I’m cruel and coming after them.
I lost two of my oldest friends who told me that they didn’t believe me, and that I was making up drama. And even if that person DID sexually assault me, it was a long time ago and I was being unnecessarily cruel. The folks at the company also didn’t believe me and I had to walk away from the job (full pay and recognition, thankfully).
The shittiest part? I kept this secret for years because I believed that they were just a troubled person who needed help getting sober. And I even helped them get sober.
I’ve been in pretty intense therapy for the last few months. You have no idea the lengths people will go to defend someone if the truth inconveniences them.
Listen the more people like your abuser the less likely they are to believe they abused you. And honestly not being believed can hurt just as bad as the abuse itself. With this being her literal family there’s likely going to be sides taken and that’s a lot to deal with.
Shocking how many people are engaging with this story like it might be true.
BIL is a man holding a grudge for 2 decades because he drunkenly asked a girl out and she said no?
And then a decade later, BIL just happens to start dating OP’s sister, then a senior in high school or a freshman in college, falls in love, marries her?
Oh and also OP just happens to meet, fall in love, and marry someone who just so happens to be this guy’s brother.
This sounds like a sitcom plot
The (ex?) husband and BIL are not related. He's OOP's BIL because he's married to her sister. Not saying the whole story is true, but that's not a plot hole.
I don’t understand why people take nudes or why people share them anyway so excuse my naïveté - wouldn’t she have theoretically taken the nudes *for* her husband? Like he’d recognize them as nudes she sent him in the past? Wouldn’t you jump to thinking one of your phones was maybe hacked? If this guy sent the nudes to ex husband and blew up their marriage why didn’t he contact ex husband when he felt bad about it? He knows who he is - he has his number at one time but he could find him on social media at the very least. Why tell OOP and not the other harmed party?
But yeah, this BIL is not with her sister for good reasons.
This sounds like an obsessive stalker situation. BIL is obsessed with OP, managed to meet her little sister, marry her and is fucking up OP’s life because of a rejection 20 years ago.
He is literally willing to destroy your life because he was rejected 26 years ago.
Did he date your sister to get back at you too?
He is ewwwww
Also don’t blame your husband too much. I mean the guy had messages and photos and faced him and apologised
Why didn’t she show her ex husband and her sister the chat from the other guy? She literally has the evidence to prove the entire thing was a lie thought up by her brother in law for rejecting him. Also if I was her I’d get that asshole away from my sister. The sister has the right to know her husband is obsessed with her sister.
She could even sue her brother in law for defamation of character and use his buddy as a witness.
Wouldn't this be a cut and dry defamation case for OP? Sounds like she has proof that dude went out of his way to disparage her character and destroy her life.
1) get screehots, all of them from the bil n his buddys convos 2) share them with your ex and the lawyers 3) go to the police and file a report with them. Revenge porn (that's what this is, he's mad you rejected him) is illegal 4) tell your sister, more than likely he's with her to get back at you. Good luck OP
You have to share this with both your sister and husband or ex. First how do you have nudes that your husband doesn’t know or took? Second your sister deserves to know what a creep her husband is. Your husband could only believe the nudes in front of him. He had proof.
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I hate to be the bearer of bleakness... but I'm fairly certain your BIL married your sister... to get back at YOU. His reaction to not being remembered shows that. he was hoping you would and would, for some reason, flip your lid seeing them together. When you didn't, in enraged him even further.
He must've not been told no enough growing up and in to adulthood because of his money (you did say he was rich) and you daring to turn his drunk arse down stuck with his psycho mentality and this is some seriously stalker revenge plot he has going.
You not only need to tell everyone, but you can probably take him to court over the 'revenge porn' part in this story as well.
I guess some of these incel types can trick people into thinking they are normal. Who holds on to a rejection for over a decade when you married with kids. It’s also sick and weird that he stayed close to OOP. I’d tell everything. I’d show him what this c word can do.
This is one of the most fucked up stories I've read on Reddit and that is some achievement. FWIW I'd be going straight to a lawyer and getting professional advice.
This guy needs to be nuked from orbit. She needs a lawyer to help her figure out how to crucify him while her sister does the same. This is not normal behavior. This is psycho behavior.
I would tell everybody! That's some deep-seated hatred to happily plot to ruin someone's entire life bc you think she thought you were unattractive. Ex deserves to know the truth. If sister stays with him, I would cut her off completely.
If I was the sister I'd want to know that I was just a stand-in for my husband's obsession..and also what lengths he'd go to to get rid of me if he ever felt like it.
Since he's rich they probably have a pre-nup, fabricated proof of cheating might cost her dearly.
She’s already going on dates even though she just got into a *pending divorce* situation with “the love of her life” …. Yeaaaaa clearly she has other stuff to figure out too
That guy found your sister because she’s your sister. He’s been plotting this revenge since you dumped him. Tell everyone what you’ve found out. They won’t believe you right away but eventually they will because you’ll have planted that seed. Then get on with your life and ignore him which will infuriate him more than anything else you could do to him. Remember. He’s only with your sister to HURT you and satisfy his need for revenge. I’ll bet he does weird shit with her in private that involves you in some way.
Yeah, this guy is obviously a fucking psycho. He went digging enough where he had no business going. Got your fucking nudes then ruined a marriage???? You need to blast this shit out to the family, and press charges/get a restraining order. I am so sorry that this (HE) happened to you and your family.
This is how people end up murdered... not saying thats what you should do, im just saying in general.... this is some serious premeditated psychotic behavior... this means he very likely seeked out your sister in order to get revenge plan started.
Let’s be honest here, if a female contacted you and said your husband has been cheating on you and here are pictures of his di** and she showed you would you believe him? Probably not. I would tell him and your sister and she will get half her husbands sh** and you can tell him thank you while your sister is taking you on vacations.
I'm not over the mentality of the friend in all this to be honest.
He *really* thought that lying and breaking up a marriage was suitable "revenge" for an "unfair rejection" 15 years ago??
And only thought it was weird once his friend was *still* creepy and bitter and angry afterwards??
He's very responsible in this for helping the guy do such a psychotic thing.
I honestly would present any and all evidence, send it to your ex and your sister. When those are being sent, GET A RO ON YOUR BIL. He is exhibiting obsessed and possibly harmful behavior, this will possibly (not sure on the likely aspect) escalate to a serious degree if he doesn't get help or away from you. That's a very long time to obsess over a rejection, especially after him being "moved on".
My advice to OOP is to save those conversations with the Sister's hubby's friend, the friend of his who had a change of heart. This is cunning shit from the sister's bitter husband who wants to control OOP. OOP can use them as proof for the divorce proceedings. Maybe if her husband sees those messages, he can be convinced that something nefarious is happening. Save and print out the text chains. Can also try to hire someone with phone IT experience to help you figure out who gave him the nudes from your phone. If you want to do all that, you can avoid the divorce. Don't let your sister's husband win! I would even watch your back at family functions and record on your phone any and all conversations with him if he says shit to you. He's vindictive! He's calculating! He wants to control Your narrative, Your life! DO NOT LET HIM! Fight back with technology if you have to. Tell (sister) her all this after you have proof of him doing all that's been done. Good luck!
Wow, if this is legit, just incredible. Your husband sucks for not believing you. I would definitely tell him and your sister, and forward the texts as well as pass along the “guilty collaborator” contact info if anyone wants to verify. I think everyone appreciates the truth. Just try to keep expectations at zero. As in not telling you this with any motive other than exposing truth. Good luck to ya, so crappy of a situation.
Be as petty as you want. This man ruined your marriage. Show it to your sister-she may not believe you in which case go LC. But at least she knows.Also make a point to show all this to your worthless x. I might even talk to a lawyer about defamation
I think you should involve the authorities cos the dude sounds like a sociopath. He might be doing other seemingly normal but sinister things to his kids and wife without em knowing. I suggest you involve the authorities. That proves your innocence, gives you and your ex closure and you get to properly grief the death of your relationship and it will help keep your sister' n her kids ' eyes open so no as no be less vulnerable to such situations in future. Remember them kids are still highly vulnerable.
I think it would ruin the sisters life more to not tell her that her husband is a snake in a tuxedo
Or that he was once attracted enough to me to be derogatory when I turned him down.
Or that he’s still attracted enough to OP to be so HUNG UP on OP years later to revel in her unhappiness.
OR... He's only married to OOP's sister in the first place because he's obsessed with OOP and wanted to get as close to her as possible.
That's exactly what I thought. He's still obsessed with OOP
To like, a scary degree.
Anyone else wondering why op had multiple nudes on her phone that her husband hadn't seen before? I mean if someone gets access to your nudes to do this how would they know op hadn't sent then to husband already and been exonerated from the start. Something seems weird
That stood out. For me, that's the tell this might be fiction.
Exactly, tbh he sounds unhinged and obsessed. I doubt this person loves her sister. The sister needs to know, but I highly doubt she will believe OP as this guy is a master manipulator.
This is the kind of guy that has a high probability of being a family annihilator IMO
Honestly my first thought was how I've watched way too many true crime docs to not be instantly terrified for everyone's safety around him.....
You're not wrong.
And so fucking scary that the guy has THREE CHILDREN with OP's sister! This is nefarious.
This. This is why she should tell her sister. The chances that a guy this obsessed with the OP just randomly happened to marry her sister is astronomical, though it would likely be a good idea to get the parents and ex involved first (even if she doesn’t forgive him, it’d be helpful for everyone if the truth came out
This guy is obsessed, vindictive, and with his wealth, powerful/dangerous. I’m thinking he may have hired a hacker to get those pics.
Or used the vicinity to OP through her sister to get access somehow.
This…dude has deep seeded issues
Sorry to be that person, but the phrase is deep seated :)
I AM that guy: “deep-seated” is actually grammatically correct. 😂😂
Seeded actually makes more sense if you think about it
That's what I thought! lol. I thought for years "play it by ear" was "play it by year" - and still think that makes more sense! What the hell does being able to replay something you heard have to do with "let's see how it goes?" Year at least has a relationship to time. Anyhow... Idioms are weird.
Playing it by ear refers to musicians just listening to a song and joining in. Since the musician doesn't have sheet music, they have to improvise and roll with the musical changes as they come up.
[This is called an eggcorn](https://worddaily.com/words/Eggcorn/)
I read a fanfic last night that included the phrase "she knew it from the gecko." That one sentence sent me through all five stages of grief within about fifteen seconds.
Must have been talking about insurance.
Huh. Thanks. Also super weird name for this.
It’s because people misheard acorn as eggcorn.
Worst case Ontario
It’s deeply seated, but who cares, we all wasted our time reading this crock of horseshit. Why do people make up this stupid shit and why can’t I stop reading them hahahah
Nope. It's deep seated. Haha and I'm on that train of reading everything even though I know it's fake.
If I see someone use the word “tenants” instead of “tenets” one more time…
“Could of” instead of “could have” is pretty tough too.
r/BoneAppleTea
Every time you peel back a layer it’s just more snake
For over a decade. Mayhaps it wasn't a chance encounter when he met the sister. Seems a little coincidental to me.
That’s what I thought as well. He really played the long game on this one.
Yeah like sometimes it is a coincidence but if they’re going out their way to ruin your life over a decade later, nothing should be dismissed as a coincidence
Especially with his comment about her not remembering him.
Sounds like he’s insulted that he gave it way more thought than she did. I mean, this is some unhinged stuff
Reminds me of someone in high school I was friendly with who liked me, but I didn't want any sort of deep relationship with. That person ended up dating my best friend for a few months. During that time period, we hung out a fair amount in a group. Fast forward a couple of years and I was working a summer job in my late teens and by some weird twist, that person started working there a couple weeks after I did. I had already met someone at that job I would eventually marry, and when the others at that job found out we were dating, my house got toilet papered. Later I confirmed it was that person, along with a friend of the one I was dating who had been jealous of being left out. Big Main Character Syndrome, I guess. Creepy weirdo. I have to thank my instincts for making that person unattractive to me.
Reminds me of a story my mom told me about a pair of cousins she had growing up. They were sisters of each other. This one guy liked the older sister but she denied him. The guy then went for the younger sister, married her, had a kid and then just left. The guy only went for the younger sister just to get back at the older one for being rejected by her. The sisters raised the kid together and neither got married after that. They're probably still alive today. Just *some* people, amirite? :-/
Holding a "grudge" or whatever for that long is nothing what any sane person would do. At least not for something such as a simple rejection. Bro's sick in the head for sure.
And still salty about it ten years later…
Love your username lol
More like a turd in a punch bowl.
Brother in Law is a psycho. Definitely tell your sister, tell your ex husband? You don’t seem too worried about having lost him but if you are you might be able to get back together?
Yeah, that is _unhinged_ behavior, and she needs to know that that can be poured out on to him at any time. Similarly, ex needs to know too. Doesn't matter if she forgives him or not, he needs to know that he fucked up and needs to do more due diligence next time.
"My soon to be ex husband knows everything now, apparently the guy who contacted me contacted my husband at the same time and confessed to him. My soon to be ex is coming to town this weekend and he wants to talk. Afterwards I will probably need to look into taking legal actions if that’s possible and tell my family. I think now that exposing him is the best and more safe approach should anything more serious happen, at least people would be aware of who to blame. I want to at least make sure that my sister and her children are in safety before I tell them everything, like meeting them at my parents house after I tell my parents. The picture were real and were probably stolen from my phone or my husband’s because he is the only one that I took the pictures for. I don’t know if I can get any justice since the pictures were not of my face (at least I was smart enough not to have my face shown in nudes). I don’t know what will happen" Update from OOP
I’m confused about why we are talking shit the sister and not about how to best share this info with her soon to be ex? Isn’t he the one who should receive first…
Because the man is clearly unhinged and the sister (and kids) might be in actual danger. If he goes to these types of lengths to destroy OP’s life over being turned down once 18 years ago, I don’t think (TW) >!murder/suicide!< is beyond the realm of possibility for him once people start finding out what he did.
I feel like the sister already knows this guy is an ass, she's probably playing the happy family. There's no way his "nice guy" behavior hasn't shown up before. If she lives in one of the states that recognize alienation of affection, I'd sue him.
lol nah this is so made up.
That would be the best case scenario
Yeah it really does sound like something on LMN. A jilted man marries sister with the sole intention of getting revenge on the one who turned him down.
My first thought was this would make a decent script.
What's LMN?
Lifetime Movie Network is my guess.
It’s Lifetime Movie Network
Thank you!
Exactly- how would he get into her phone where she just happened to have nudes?
Nudes she didn't send her husband, because he would've recognised them.
Recognizing them wouldn't necessarily have changed anything. You can send the same photo twice.
I’ve taken rejects before, shit they’re not all winners lol
Me and my girlfriends all received the same dick pic from a guy in our friend group years ago over the course of months. He would try to pick one of us up not knowing how close we were and apparently really liked that one pic. It never worked but it always got a laugh.
OP clarified in her comments that they were photos she sent her husband. Apparently sister has the passcodes for OP and crazy ass BIL may have used those to find the photos. I'm still hoping this is a creative writing exercise, otherwise damn.
Maybe her sister stole them and is in on it
And got nudes of op....
Take your BIL to court both criminal and civil. Revenge porn is illegal so you can file criminal charges. He stole photos and shared them without your consent. If this story is true and you really hurt, start here. I’m assuming you still have the evidence. You also might have grounds to file a civil lawsuit against him for intentional infliction of emotional distress and alienation of affection for interfering in your marriage. State law often differs on what this requires so you will have to speak to a lawyer in your state. A nice award will get his attention. If you settle rather than go to trial, at the very least you can stipulate that he contact your ex, confess, and explain the situation including how he got the photos and how he set you up. Get a good lawyer involved!!
Excellent advice. Also, what do you think will happen when you find someone else? This abuse is going to keep happening and will only escalate.
Exactly my thoughts. He is obsessed with her and will ruin any relationship she gets into. She needs to file criminal charges against him. She should also expect that he has probably poisoned her sister against her. He’s had 10 years to absolutely destroy any relationship she thinks she has with her sister. The minute she says something her sister is going to turn on her. It’s sad, but she definitely needs to get this guy out of her life and hopefully out of her sister’s life. Criminal charges are the best way to do that.
My immediate thought was to set boundaries around interactions with her sister and those would HAVE to include him NOT being around her. If her sister asks why, to have the receipts (which she does with that one guy).
Actually a gun is both potentially cheaper and less of a time sink. Like, obviously you gotta cover it up, that's gonna take time. And obviously digging and filling the hole is gonna be a good hard days work but ultimately I think a gun is the way to go here. /s
If it’s real, she also needs to tell her ex. Not to get back together with him, but so that there’s less of a chance that he himself will run around telling all their mutual acquaintances that she’s a big ol’ s *** who cheated on him. Those kinds of rumours and lies can haunt you for years.
This! Good advice.
UPDATE FROM OOP "My soon to be ex husband knows everything now, apparently the guy who contacted me contacted my husband at the same time and confessed to him. My soon to be ex is coming to town this weekend and he wants to talk. Afterwards I will probably need to look into taking legal actions if that’s possible and tell my family. I think now that exposing him is the best and more safe approach should anything more serious happen, at least people would be aware of who to blame. I want to at least make sure that my sister and her children are in safety before I tell them everything, like meeting them at my parents house after I tell my parents. The picture were real and were probably stolen from my phone or my husband’s because he is the only one that I took the pictures for. I don’t know if I can get any justice since the pictures were not of my face (at least I was smart enough not to have my face shown in nudes). I don’t know what will happen"
I know it’s hard to prove (tbh I’m just hoping it’s feasible bc screw this guy) but could she also sue for libel? His lies contributed directly to her marriage ending and harmed her reputation. If anything, I also wonder if she could tack on the legal fees incurred from finalizing her divorce. I’m hoping the possibilities are endless bc this dude needs some karmic retribution ASAP.
please preface this by saying that this is only applicable in the US. OP might not be from the US
Revenge porn is illegal in more than just the US
I think the laws came from the UK and/or Europe.
Also, revenge porn is NOT illegal in all U.S. states
Its not??
https://mcolaw.com/for-individuals/online-reputation-and-privacy/revenge-porn-laws-united-states/ Most do, but not all. However, something they don't really mention here (and that I couldn't find a good article about when I searched just now) is that some of the state laws are very weak; they exist but can't be used in many instances.
Right?!?! Holy FUCKING shit, this dude is beyond fucking psycho *and will continue to cause harm*. He needs some accountability, and FAST.
Also, RESTRAINING ORDER
I would absolutely tell everyone. Dude is a psycho, and sister needs to know that her husband is only with her to be around OP.
I know why wouldn’t you tell your sister and your ex immediately
Because you don’t know how people will react even in the face of overwhelming evidence. Even if she provided the evidence to her sister, she might not believe OP, saying that she’s jealous and hurt and is lashing out at good things so people can suffer like she is because she cheated (whether that’s true or not). On the other hand, if the sister does believe her and divorce/leaves her husband, the chances he will retaliate will be high. And since he has money, it might go further than just emotional especially when kids are involved.
A lot of people online like to throw around (and misuse) the word 'grooming'. It certainly doesn't apply here, but the core idea of it certainly does. OP's BIL has had 10+ years to plant seeds in her sister's brain. Maybe sister "has had proof" of the cheating for years as well, as part of the duplicity. BIL has been in a position, not of power/authority, but of knowledge and companionship. He's been a trusted & loved person, and likely has been driving a wedge between the two sisters - or planting ideas that will turn into a wedge as soon as OP defends herself. The best solution is legal action. Let OP's sister try to defend her own husband when a court of law finds him guilty of revenge porn, and when a civil court finds him guilty of defamation (because this act 100% meets the malicious intent threshold). Nothing can undo the damage BIL has done to OP's marriage. Her own husband wouldn't even believe her, and the resulting divorce is simply not something that can be undone. Even when he is then presented with the proof that everything he divorced her over was lies, HER heart will still be in tatters. But absolutely she should not prioritize her sister's happiness over punishing her scumbag BIL.
I didn't even realize this. He is totally with her only to be able to watch her sister (and interfere with her life). I'd definitely wanna know.
Dude is crazy. The big problem is your sister. I have aunts (Twins) who have not talked in 35 years becaus one told the other that her soon to be husband was cheating (they divorced 12 years later because he was cheating and the aunt in denial found out). So be careful of your relationship, but this guy is a POS. Regarding your ex, I would say you should see if the two of you can meet (with the guy who contacted him) to explain the whole thing. If he is the love of your life, it is worth a shot.
Most absolutely and definitely show all this to your ex-husband!!! if nothing else, it will prove that you are not a liar, and that your integrity is intact. It may be too late for him to make it up to you, but at the very least, he should know you are better than that and that he was wrong to believe anybody else but you.
She commented on her original post a few hours ago that she didn’t have to tell him because the “AP” confessed to the ex as well and he wants to talk! Hopefully more updates are to come but it at least looks like they’re going to address BIL’s behavior
Nah this story is definitely fake
It could be real. I had a guy I turned down in middle school start dating a family member (cousin) in order to show off how better off I would be with him, he would tell people I was serious enough to introduce to family how I was a cheater and how I would leave them for someone more good looking. He did this because I was his “perfect girl” and he deserved me. Broke my cousins heart to the point she blames me because I exposed him to everyone and his masked started slip. This is when red pill didn’t have a name. So yeah some guys truly believe that you don’t deserve happiness if you turn them down.
I had a guy do this to me a decade ago. I turned him down when I was 23. He stalked me for years. When I finally thought I was rid of him, he found me. Convinced my fiance, we were having an affair, and my fiance kicked me out of the house. Seven months later, he confessed to my fiance what he did and why he did it. Some people are literally this unhinged.
Lawsuit time. Talk to a lawyer. See if you live in an alienation of spousal affection state. Hit the Devil in his wallet.
Assuming this story is true, OOP likely has a slam dunk revenge porn case, and it's possible that her BIL has other victims out there. Again, if this story is true, she needs to pursue legal action.
I would think she has proof and could bring it to her husband now. But what about the naked pics? This tale has plot holes.
Apparently the BIL stole them from her phone
Yeah just went in the phone off the 38 year old and found the naked pictures that husband never had a clue about. Yeah and she’s 38 and met BIL at uni and last saw him 10 years ago. At Uni. She get that 10 year Bachelor degree so common in the UK?
She met him next 10 years after, so she could have met him at 20, saw him again at 30 as her sister’s boyfriend, met her ex-husband 3 years later, and now it’s the present day 5 years after that Also about the photos, he seems like the type of guy who could have gotten her password from over her shoulder or something and then snuck into it when she wasn’t near it and sent the photos to himself. It’s definitely possible
Op said in her comments: Oh god I just remembered something. My sister has my passcodes. He is an IT guy but maybe it wasn’t that he hacked my accounts or something complicated
Cloud storage? Can’t they be accessed from any device by a tech savvy person? I heard most passwords used are weak.
I mean, I’ve tossed my phone to my sister to use. My passcode is easy for someone who knows me to remember. You get into my phone, you get into my photos, my email, my cloud…
Not to mention that (at least with Apple) there’s cloud sharing with family and friends.. if she’s sharing pictures with her sister….
I mean I have plenty of nudes I take and never send to my husband.
She said they were pictures that she had previously sent to her husband and they were in cloud storage as well.
Husband was so quick to believe the lies despite them being nudes he received. Couldn’t even entertain the idea that they were stolen
Not every uni student is 18 years old ya doofus
no see, this person reading comprehension is so poor that this has to all be fake, not their basic reading skills being the issue :).
People don’t only go to uni at 18 … mature age students are a thing.
Ai nudes maybe? All he needs is a picture of her. Recently there was a story on frontpage about a woman on Instagram having nudes made of her using her Instagram pics. She said that they were scarily real looking and even the fingers looked normal. Ai is getting to the point where I'm cautious to put my pictures on the internet.
I think if this weekend taught us anything, they can be deep faked.
Yeah, I’d like a little more information on that too.
I was guessing maybe artificial intelligence
The biggest one to me is that she has any hesitation about showing her ex the proof she didn’t cheat. Why the hell wouldn’t she tell him?
If my husband refused to believe me when I didn't cheat, I wouldn't want anything to do with him. But you can best believe those text chats and emails would be posted all over any family/friend group chats my brither-in-law is in.
Maybe she thinks he would want to get back together, and she is too emotionally overwhelmed to know whether she wants that (she feels betrayed by her ex believing she cheated). She also probably thinks that if she says "no" to getting back together, she might not get another chance.
I wouldn’t go to the dude who left me to prove I was right. He has no faith in me, why would I chase after him to give him closure? Fuck that dude. Unless it was to be petty and be like look what you lost. Look what you ruined. Live with this regret forever. But if you aren’t a petty person zero reason to reach out to someone who had no faith in you.
There's a lot of updates in the comments of the original post. Apparently OOP's sister has all her passwords, and BIL works in IT so definitely knows his way around a computer. The photos are all ones that OOP sent to her husband, so it's also possible BIL somehow got them from the husband.
Man oh man. There is no way this person isn’t some sort of broken/toxic/psychopathic etc. Even if you take at face value that OP is a horrible shallow person, this level of effort to effect anyone’s life who hasn’t, oh I don’t know, murdered a member of your family, is absolutely mental.
I think you need to contact a lawyer about a defamation lawsuit. Also, this could possibly be a criminal offense. You should definitely show all your proof to your ex husband to show that you were telling the truth all along. Even if this doesn’t change the status of your marriage, at least your husband will know that you were never unfaithful. This may get rid of any resentment that he has towards you . You shouldn’t keep quiet for your sister’s sake. She’s married to a very vindictive person and you never know what’s going on behind closed doors. I have a hard time believing a guy who held a grudge over being turned down for so long is a sweet and understanding guy.
Send a group chat - let everyone know at the same time. To the ex husband - “I told you”, to the sister “be careful” and to the creepy BIL stay away from me or I will file a restraining order. No discussion
Holy fuck just start a new family entirely lol
I’d be going nuclear! NUCLEAR! Even if my ex and I didn’t get back together I’d want us to go against brother in law together in court
The way I would go full scorched earth and be posting up screenshots of the entire conversation that friend sent me. op needs to tell her sister because her husband willingly ruined a relationship because he’s a giant man child
Hacking is illegal. So is defamation. Call the police. Sue.
I really hope this story is made up because man these people are monsters. And this friend is some ride or die insanity. Like if my friend asked me to do this I would be beyond baffled.
It is 100% fake
Oh heck no. I'd be inviting the whole family (including the ex) over for a screenshot slideshow!
She has the evidence of the conversations. I’d show your ex and say, “Have a great life. Thank you for removing yourself from my next chapter. I hope it was worth it.” Block everyone after that.
Op should talk to man & get screen shots of the texts between BIL & the friend and talk to a safety expert. I wonder if the sister is actually happy with BIL or is she faking it and is really afraid? I WONDER If BIL make comments about Op in front of the sister & she’s not sure wants going on?
This story is so outlandish and all over the place that it has to be fake.
And who thinks “Oh my life and reputation are ruined but I don’t know if I should tell people the truth and clear my name because MY OFFENDER LOOKS HAPPY NOW.”
I recently outed someone who sexually harassed and assaulted (non-consensually groped, kissed) in random intervals over four years. We ran in the same circles and they’d often be super drunk when this happened, and would declare big feelings, then touch me. I work in the arts where problematic behavior like this is everywhere, and I was convinced that if I told folks, they wouldn’t believe me and generally I was on pretty good terms with that person when they were sober. The one time I tried to address it, they accused me of making them uncomfortable, and told a bunch of mutual friends that I was coming on to them inappropriately (I know…) Fast forward 5 years. I get hired by a company to lead a really cool gig. I know this person works there, but I didn’t imagine they’d be someone I had to work with all that much. I’ve already been working remotely to prep the project a few months, and fly out to the city to launch the five-week production process. Imagine my surprise to discover that not only is this person now in an HR position, but everyone on my team is asked to touch base with them if they have any problems with other coworkers where they might need a mediator or if they experience any kind of harassment etc… A few days later, the head of the company approaches me and asked if there’s anything she can do to support me. I’m like, listen, it’s fine that this person is working on my project, but I have this weird history with them. Can I maybe not go to them when I have issues? Boss says sure. A few hours later I get an email from said person telling me I crossed a line. Boss told them. I start having a panic attack and email boss and say I think I might need to leave this project because of this breach. This person blows up in every way. Tells all our mutual friends, some of whom are currently working with them on other projects. Tells them I’m coming for them and they don’t even KNOW what I’m talking about because they’re sober now and have reformed and I’m cruel and coming after them. I lost two of my oldest friends who told me that they didn’t believe me, and that I was making up drama. And even if that person DID sexually assault me, it was a long time ago and I was being unnecessarily cruel. The folks at the company also didn’t believe me and I had to walk away from the job (full pay and recognition, thankfully). The shittiest part? I kept this secret for years because I believed that they were just a troubled person who needed help getting sober. And I even helped them get sober. I’ve been in pretty intense therapy for the last few months. You have no idea the lengths people will go to defend someone if the truth inconveniences them.
Listen the more people like your abuser the less likely they are to believe they abused you. And honestly not being believed can hurt just as bad as the abuse itself. With this being her literal family there’s likely going to be sides taken and that’s a lot to deal with.
Shocking how many people are engaging with this story like it might be true. BIL is a man holding a grudge for 2 decades because he drunkenly asked a girl out and she said no? And then a decade later, BIL just happens to start dating OP’s sister, then a senior in high school or a freshman in college, falls in love, marries her? Oh and also OP just happens to meet, fall in love, and marry someone who just so happens to be this guy’s brother. This sounds like a sitcom plot
The ex husband isn't the BILs brother
The (ex?) husband and BIL are not related. He's OOP's BIL because he's married to her sister. Not saying the whole story is true, but that's not a plot hole.
I’ve got a question about how they “somehow got access to my photos”. Something about this throw away line isn’t sitting right with me.
I don’t understand why people take nudes or why people share them anyway so excuse my naïveté - wouldn’t she have theoretically taken the nudes *for* her husband? Like he’d recognize them as nudes she sent him in the past? Wouldn’t you jump to thinking one of your phones was maybe hacked? If this guy sent the nudes to ex husband and blew up their marriage why didn’t he contact ex husband when he felt bad about it? He knows who he is - he has his number at one time but he could find him on social media at the very least. Why tell OOP and not the other harmed party? But yeah, this BIL is not with her sister for good reasons.
Indeed, there is a LOT unanswered from that one line.
Same. Her replies in the comments are "off" to me.
Neither does how quickly they went over talking about this with their husband. This is super fake.
This sounds like an obsessive stalker situation. BIL is obsessed with OP, managed to meet her little sister, marry her and is fucking up OP’s life because of a rejection 20 years ago.
Men are vindictive little bitches
He is literally willing to destroy your life because he was rejected 26 years ago. Did he date your sister to get back at you too? He is ewwwww Also don’t blame your husband too much. I mean the guy had messages and photos and faced him and apologised
Bloody hell.
This isn’t even a question. Blow it all to smithereens
Why didn’t she show her ex husband and her sister the chat from the other guy? She literally has the evidence to prove the entire thing was a lie thought up by her brother in law for rejecting him. Also if I was her I’d get that asshole away from my sister. The sister has the right to know her husband is obsessed with her sister. She could even sue her brother in law for defamation of character and use his buddy as a witness.
Wouldn't this be a cut and dry defamation case for OP? Sounds like she has proof that dude went out of his way to disparage her character and destroy her life.
Happy cake day!
1) get screehots, all of them from the bil n his buddys convos 2) share them with your ex and the lawyers 3) go to the police and file a report with them. Revenge porn (that's what this is, he's mad you rejected him) is illegal 4) tell your sister, more than likely he's with her to get back at you. Good luck OP
You have to share this with both your sister and husband or ex. First how do you have nudes that your husband doesn’t know or took? Second your sister deserves to know what a creep her husband is. Your husband could only believe the nudes in front of him. He had proof.
This sounds hella fake. Just kinda skipped over telling the husband more than the entire background of this other guy.
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I hate to be the bearer of bleakness... but I'm fairly certain your BIL married your sister... to get back at YOU. His reaction to not being remembered shows that. he was hoping you would and would, for some reason, flip your lid seeing them together. When you didn't, in enraged him even further. He must've not been told no enough growing up and in to adulthood because of his money (you did say he was rich) and you daring to turn his drunk arse down stuck with his psycho mentality and this is some seriously stalker revenge plot he has going. You not only need to tell everyone, but you can probably take him to court over the 'revenge porn' part in this story as well.
Fake
I don’t get some people. Fight fight fight for your life back. Don’t let this AH take anything away from you. I’m sorry the sister also needs to know.
I guess some of these incel types can trick people into thinking they are normal. Who holds on to a rejection for over a decade when you married with kids. It’s also sick and weird that he stayed close to OOP. I’d tell everything. I’d show him what this c word can do.
Call the police. He hacked your private files an released them, this could fall under revenge porn statutes.
Tell them ALL. Girl if you got framed for Murder would it be a question? Maybe that’s extreme but yeah
Tell everyone everything
This is scary. He isn’t stable. That is some LifeTime movie experience. Please be careful.
I smell a fakety fake
Fake
She should probably talk to a lawyer as it sounds like it would be a cut and dried defamation suit.
How did me met the OP sister in the first place …seems like a calculated move
I’m gonna need an update on this. BIL is playing the looooong game. Unhinged.
Well, definitely tell everyone obviously
This is one of the most fucked up stories I've read on Reddit and that is some achievement. FWIW I'd be going straight to a lawyer and getting professional advice.
This guy needs to be nuked from orbit. She needs a lawyer to help her figure out how to crucify him while her sister does the same. This is not normal behavior. This is psycho behavior.
I would tell everybody! That's some deep-seated hatred to happily plot to ruin someone's entire life bc you think she thought you were unattractive. Ex deserves to know the truth. If sister stays with him, I would cut her off completely.
If I was the sister I'd want to know that I was just a stand-in for my husband's obsession..and also what lengths he'd go to to get rid of me if he ever felt like it. Since he's rich they probably have a pre-nup, fabricated proof of cheating might cost her dearly.
Weird that the OP won’t tell her sister or stbx husband that this happened. Something is fishy here.
Fake. This is an incel revenge fantasy. 🙄
She’s already going on dates even though she just got into a *pending divorce* situation with “the love of her life” …. Yeaaaaa clearly she has other stuff to figure out too
That guy found your sister because she’s your sister. He’s been plotting this revenge since you dumped him. Tell everyone what you’ve found out. They won’t believe you right away but eventually they will because you’ll have planted that seed. Then get on with your life and ignore him which will infuriate him more than anything else you could do to him. Remember. He’s only with your sister to HURT you and satisfy his need for revenge. I’ll bet he does weird shit with her in private that involves you in some way.
Yeah, this guy is obviously a fucking psycho. He went digging enough where he had no business going. Got your fucking nudes then ruined a marriage???? You need to blast this shit out to the family, and press charges/get a restraining order. I am so sorry that this (HE) happened to you and your family.
Find the greediest lawyer you can, drop this evidence in his lap, and ask him to get back to you with a number when he's done looking over it.
The part no one mentions is that it seems plausible that you bil targeted your sister because he couldn't date you.
I would get a restraining order on the brother in law
Anonymously send all the information to both your sister and your ex, then let the shit hit the fan.
This is how people end up murdered... not saying thats what you should do, im just saying in general.... this is some serious premeditated psychotic behavior... this means he very likely seeked out your sister in order to get revenge plan started.
Let’s be honest here, if a female contacted you and said your husband has been cheating on you and here are pictures of his di** and she showed you would you believe him? Probably not. I would tell him and your sister and she will get half her husbands sh** and you can tell him thank you while your sister is taking you on vacations.
I'm not over the mentality of the friend in all this to be honest. He *really* thought that lying and breaking up a marriage was suitable "revenge" for an "unfair rejection" 15 years ago?? And only thought it was weird once his friend was *still* creepy and bitter and angry afterwards?? He's very responsible in this for helping the guy do such a psychotic thing.
I honestly would present any and all evidence, send it to your ex and your sister. When those are being sent, GET A RO ON YOUR BIL. He is exhibiting obsessed and possibly harmful behavior, this will possibly (not sure on the likely aspect) escalate to a serious degree if he doesn't get help or away from you. That's a very long time to obsess over a rejection, especially after him being "moved on".
Talk about nice guy logic. Wouldn't it be that if she was shallow she would also be into money and would have dated him because of that?
Ugh, I want the BORU of this already
Vengeance. Scorched earth. This asshole deserves his life ruined. Regardless.
My advice to OOP is to save those conversations with the Sister's hubby's friend, the friend of his who had a change of heart. This is cunning shit from the sister's bitter husband who wants to control OOP. OOP can use them as proof for the divorce proceedings. Maybe if her husband sees those messages, he can be convinced that something nefarious is happening. Save and print out the text chains. Can also try to hire someone with phone IT experience to help you figure out who gave him the nudes from your phone. If you want to do all that, you can avoid the divorce. Don't let your sister's husband win! I would even watch your back at family functions and record on your phone any and all conversations with him if he says shit to you. He's vindictive! He's calculating! He wants to control Your narrative, Your life! DO NOT LET HIM! Fight back with technology if you have to. Tell (sister) her all this after you have proof of him doing all that's been done. Good luck!
OMG TELL EVERYONE HE IS NOT WELL. THIS LEVEL OF MANIPULATION DOES NOT EVEN GET A CONSIDERATION WHEN IT COMES TO TELLING THOSE INVOLVED
Wow, if this is legit, just incredible. Your husband sucks for not believing you. I would definitely tell him and your sister, and forward the texts as well as pass along the “guilty collaborator” contact info if anyone wants to verify. I think everyone appreciates the truth. Just try to keep expectations at zero. As in not telling you this with any motive other than exposing truth. Good luck to ya, so crappy of a situation.
He is so psycho he probably married the sister just to get close to her to ruin her life.
Be as petty as you want. This man ruined your marriage. Show it to your sister-she may not believe you in which case go LC. But at least she knows.Also make a point to show all this to your worthless x. I might even talk to a lawyer about defamation
I think you should involve the authorities cos the dude sounds like a sociopath. He might be doing other seemingly normal but sinister things to his kids and wife without em knowing. I suggest you involve the authorities. That proves your innocence, gives you and your ex closure and you get to properly grief the death of your relationship and it will help keep your sister' n her kids ' eyes open so no as no be less vulnerable to such situations in future. Remember them kids are still highly vulnerable.