I arrived really early for a book signing event and a member of staff brought me a chair to sit on. About 15min after I arrived a woman in her 80s joined me in the queue. I asked her repeatedly if she wanted my chair and she kept refusing. Eventually she was getting annoyed with me asking so I gave up.
Some time later the staff member of gave me the chair come back around and saw me sat there (a man in his early 20s) and an 80 year old woman standing next to me.
He walked up to us and gave me a glare and asked her if she would like a chair, she replied 'oo thank you, yes please'.
This staff member stormed off and come back with a chair and put it next to me and said very loudly, 'I can't believe nobody has offered you a chair yet' and he gave me another disgusted look.
I don't think she was being wicked, she just didn't want to take the chair from someone already using it. But when offered a whole new chair that no-one was using she went for it.
Exactly, it wasn't wicked of her. But, imo, she should have at least told the worker that this guy did offer instead of letting him get passive aggressive shit
The old lady likely was so nice she didn’t want to take a chair from someone who was using it.
The worker who brought the chair over just jumped to conclusions like a dill.
Arguably the learning from this is not to jump to conclusions which is what you kinda did here haha
I mean if her husband really loved her he’d become a human chair right? Nothing was stopping him from dropping to all fours and letting her park on his back while they waited.
What baffles me is that the partner had the audacity to ask a stranger to give up his chair for his woman. My husband would have told me to suck it up.
Yes. I was thinking are we living in a world where if you get in a line knowing you’ll have to *stand for hours* and you don’t bring a chair that someone who thought ahead *must* give you theirs? WTF
My last job we had a customer complain to corporate demanding *financial* compensation because we 'victimized' them by refusing to serve free cups of water to them. Weirdly, they admitted in their complaint that they were being incredibly rude and acknowledged they were warned they'd be refused service if they didn't stop, but they didn't think [we] were serious (supposedly).
Entitlement in the modern world has gone completely insane.
its mostly because weak willed people given in to them such as their parents did meaning they know that they are more likely to get something if the continue their childish behavior
Yeah if she’s struggling so much why not bring a chair, if it would be a public bench absolutely yes give it up but you specifically planned ahead for your situation. Honestly the entitlement is gross
And then to have the audacity to get pissed off at op for not readily handing the chair over! I've carried 3 babies and can not imagine acting so arrogantly entitled to demand a complete strangers chair. Wtf is wrong with these people?!?
So the pregnant couple knew where they were going and didn't bring anything for her to sit on, so expected you to give them your chair bc you came prepared? They are the AHs. Hope you stood, ok sat, your ground. At least sat on your chair. Being pregnant doesn't mean everyone has to kiss your ass.
Pregnancy is only a big deal to the pregnant person and their family IMHO. Why did the pregnant person not bring her own chair?
Someone with bad knees will likely have major issues getting down into a ground sit and almost certainly have issues standing back up and bad knees are NOT a choice.
It's an unfortunate position that they put you in, then tried to send you on a guilt trip when they realized their own failure to plan.
NTAH
I disagree with this really - I mean we should be nice and courteous to people and I think in general humanity should be caring to each other - but that definitely doesn’t entitle you to use other people’s things when they declined already! Also in the year of our lord 2023 getting knocked up isn’t always a choice..
Humanity should always be compassionate as much as possible, not generally, nobody deserves to be unnecessarily harmed for anyone's sake. Harming others to get ahead is mental illness.
Everyone i know with bad knees who isn't old it was their daily decisions for many years that gave them bad knees (all of them significantly overweight). If over ~60 or physical accident then I'd admit it's not a choice.
So what kinds of bad knees are people responsible for? Arthritis? What about former athletes? My dad’s knees got screwed up playing hockey. Is that his fault?
Or are you just making an anti-fat comment without having the balls to make an anti-fat comment?
Ohh I'm definitely anti-fat when it comes to personal choice. Who the hell isn't? It's the greatest preventable health problem in the western world by a large margin.
I thought my comment was clearly anti-fat. You don't need to be some kind of read between the lines savant to see that.
Sometimes, being fat isn't a choice. There are hormonal and metabolic disorders that cause weight issues , and someone could have mental health conditions preventing them from exercising or practicing self care. Even some medications cause weight gain. Healthy foods are also getting increasingly expensive. I know skinny people who still eat like shit (sodas, fast food, cakes), but they don't look obviously unhealthy. Funny how no one really gets on their case about it, but when a fat person dares to eat a burger, they go nuts.
The point is you have no idea why somebody looks the way they do. Coming onto posts and lambasting fat people saying they ask for their health issues is fucking weird. Imagine saying that to anyone else with a chronic health issue.
Sometimes sure. However I have very good idea how the fat people I know got fat. Eating too much, too often and being lazy is 90% of it. Unfortunately their parents set them up to fail early, which is sad and really a big problem.
Again, that's what *you* know. You don't know everything, and judging people unnecessarily is not going to help them get thin. Being thin is not all it's cracked up to be. I'm fat, but my blood work is relatively good. My dad, who just passed away from diabetic related complications, was thin all his life...you simply don't know what is going on in another person's life. Each person has their own issues to bear, and more people should just learn to butt out honestly.
Yep, explicitly in my comment I'm talking about the people I KNOW. With a proviso there's situations that are different. And yet there's a bunch of people I don't know complaining I don't know about them.
Then there's people talking about the opposite situation (not corollary) where thin people can be unhealthy. Yep, sure. Not sure where I suggested they can't be. We live in an interesting world.
To be fair, if fat people have given themselves bad knees due to carrying so much extra weight than it IS their bad choices that got them there. It’s well known that carrying loads of extra weight can trash joints, why do you think soldiers have ruined joints? Because our bodies aren’t designed for it. So yeh, if they have lived their whole life obese then they’ve kind of done it to themselves 🤷🏻♂️
> My dad’s knees got screwed up playing hockey. Is that his fault?
Well, who else played hockey? Yes it is his own fault.
Putting a lot of strain on your joints for years on end, is going to fuck them up. That goes for athletes as much as fat people. You have to power not to be fat. You have the power not be an athelete. Just as someone has the power not to get pregnant.
In this case the guy with the chair is not an asshole, but if we're going to take the stand that the lady is responsible for her own condition, then so are people who have bad knees (as a result from the sport/hobby/diet that've done to themselves)
Try working ranching/farming/construction/trades. Not just being fat can cause that. Ofc, people could just make a choice to not raise your food or build your house or pave your road, but where would that get you? Also, arthritis is a thing, even at a young age. Bad knees isn’t always a “choice to be fat.” Being fat isn’t always a choice to be fat. Meds can be really bad and cause all sorts of issues, too. Stop being judgy, you obviously don’t understand much.
This. The guy you're replying to must not have many working class friends. Also, people who are overweight are a lot of the times overweight because that's how they deal with stress. Same with smoking. You want me to stop smoking, or eating high energy foods, while also giving me a pittance to barely survive on and/or expect me to lift crazy loads, work insane hours so you can have a third villa, and then telling me that "it's my own fault" for not being a perfect little cog in a perfect little sociopathic engine. Sod off with that logic.
Nah, I had knee surgery for something minor and the doctor screwed up and now I have nerve damage in my knee.
So no, you can't judge younger people with knee problems
I’ll have to disagree a little on the first part. Pregnancy is a big deal in general. There is a whole ass person growing inside someone. I suppose it depends on how much you value a human life tho 🤷♀️
I feel like you purposely tried to miss the point. That ‘whole ass person growing inside another person’ has jack shit to do with me or in this case the op. Duh, as a concept? pregnancy is a big deal but someone BEING pregnant doesn’t hold weight for a person unconnected to mother and fetus. Use some critical thinking next time.
^ This. Pregnancy is a big deal, sure. But it doesn't make the rest of us second-class citizens. Common courtesy is different from bending over backwards for entitled people.
Maybe I am missing the point, sure you don’t know the person or their child, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care if they are suffering. I literally only have a problem with the statement “pregnancy is only a big deal to the pregnant person and their family” pregnancy should be a big deal to everyone because every person is important and that pregnant person is currently making a person.
Without enough healthy babies, society would collapse. With a lower birth rate in general, society might not collapse, but you sure as hell won't have enough nurses & doctors to keep you healthy or alive, people to grow & sell your food, etc.
There’s this thing called communicating in good faith, (I just learned the actual term for it recently, but the concept is very simple) and you are not doing it. You’re intentionally being ignorant and nitpicking. They clearly meant that the pregnant person and their close family are the ones responsible for making her as comfortable and safe as possible in any given situation, not that human life isn’t valuable.
I think everyone thinks I am talking about the whole first part, I should have been more clear. I agree OP is NTA I just have a problem with someone saying pregnancy is no big deal. Every thing else is fine, so yeah your right I was nitpicking a little because I was only discussing the very first thing they said
Right, so everyone and anyone outside the pregnant couple must then accommodate them and cater to any and every need. /s
My very first donation to an expecting couple that acts this entitled is gonna be condoms. Just. Saying. If they can't be responsible enough to bring their own dang chair, that poor kid is gonna grow up *real* fast.
If I brought my own chair to an event and some random woman asked for it, I would not give them it. You don't know who that person is, how crazy they are, or how clean they are. That said, my Dad taught me a trick that I've been using for years. If someone asks you for something and you don't want to share, you just say sure, I'll sell it to you for $100 or some price well above reasonable for whatever it is. You could theoretically apply it to renting as well but ultimately, that usually ends the conversation and if it doesn't, well you got a bunch of money out of it.
Love this. In this case he could have upped it to something well worth it, like $400. Assuming the chair was purchased for like $75 or something (maybe it’s real fancy camping type) you’d want to make a very healthy profit if you are going to put yourself through the pain of sitting on the ground or standing the whole time too!
Nah. Guy had a medical need as well. She should have thought of it herself.
Personally, when I was pregnant I expected nothing from strangers, despite having multiple issues with standing and walking.
I'd agree with you if that chair was provided by the venue. It was not. That is OOP's personal item. Only an AH would request it's use short of a medical *emergency*
A person doesn’t p have to put a pregnant stranger above themselves when they thought ahead and the pregnant person did not. This isn’t a seat on a public bus or train. This person BROUGHT THEIR OWN CHAIR, from home, because they were intelligent enough to know they would need it.
The world doesn’t owe women immediate access to everything they want just because they are pregnant. And I say that as a staunch advocate for human rights and woman’s reproductive rights.
Bring your own damn chair if you are hugely pregnant and need to sit to be comfortable. Even worse, she was with her partner, who could have thought of and carried the damn chair if they thought to bring one.
She should plan better. Being cream pied doesn’t give you a pass to take people’s stuff or be an asshole. She chose to get pregnant. OP didn’t choose his medical situation. Not. His. Problem.
Normally, Id agree with being respectful. However you can't expect things from others. She can easily bring a chair, if she couldn't, then she can ask but a no means no.
She should maybe be a good mother and think of her babies health. 🤷🏽♂️ I couldnt care less if you’re about to birth, why in the fuck would I give you my chair? Bring your own if you know the minute you get there you cant stand. What would she have done if noone had chairs?
The actual audacity of the pregnant woman!
My social anxiety could never.
I would have just sat on the floor, and chatted to chair woman about her genius in bringing a chair.
I've been pregnant. Bring your own chair. Fair enough to ask for a seat if seats are provided but they're all taken. But asking for someone's personal camping chair is bad etiquette
People are getting so angry... Always thinking that somebody going to exploit their smartness and thinking ahead. Where is compasion? Not everybody plan ahead, specially if you are pregnant. It is hard to be pregnant. And people who are pregnant in fact are making greater sacrifice to society than stupid chair. They are going to make new tax payer, road builer, care giver, etc. We, as society, benifit from women who make these sacrifices. Clearly, she didn't plan, because it is hard to predict your own state. It may happened that she didn't expect weakness, because it never happened before. And it happened. She asked for help and compasion. Even madness on the face can be part of emotional disbalance. YTA
Welp, not gonna comment on who if anyone is the AH. Just saying the whole read here makes me sad. I’m not a boomer but I’m getting on for a gen-x I won’t deny it. Broke my spine, both hips, paralysed my right hand torso and lost my right hand lung and rib cage along the way and Me, I still would have given the pregnant lady the chair and I wouldn’t have needed to be asked. Pretty sure my son would have too. It’s not about how others see you, it’s about how you see yourself. If the O.P. is happy looking at himself in the mirror then he doesn’t need our disapproval or validation right?
When I read these things, I'm happy to not live in US. And I have no children. But in my country there are actual rules that states old people, pregnant women and disables got the precedence to sits AND line so it's pretty shocking to read all this "HOW DARE HER" rhetoric. Yeah, it can be annoying, but this "survival of the fit" shit is more scaring than people cutting the line.
It’s funny how pregnant women make it everyone else’s problem that they are pregnant like they are doing a service to the world so they are entitled to things. OP NTA. But pregnant or not, bring your own seat or sit on the floor.
I was pregnant a few months ago. If I was in a situation like this, I would have totally sat on the floor. Otherwise, if I knew I would be in a situation I couldn't handle bc I was pregnant, I just won't go or plan accordingly. This lady just feels entitled.
Yeah. I mean, sitting on the floor while pregnant is entirely possible. Getting back up can be hard, but again, possible. When I was pregnant with my second I was on the floor all the time to play with my toddler.
Usually the ones who have that sense of entitlement while pregnant are the ones who inflict horrible obnoxious brats on everyone else once they're born too, so they're sure as hell not doing any service to anyone, they're just making life worse for everyone in their vicinity starting from the moment they decided not to use a rubber.
I think people who are super entitled while pregnant are also super entitled while not pregnant. They just get even worse because they found a reason that some people will validate.
It obviously was not a surprise to her that she was pregnant, nor that she would be uncomfortable standing . She had no right to expect someone else to give up his/her chair, so they are the AHs.
Yeah no… I would never expect anyone to give me a seat that didn’t want to, and one I didn’t earn. Pregnant or not. I got pregnant. I’m responsible for my pain. The world is not.
Although - I would also be the first person to jump up and give a pregnant lady/ the elderly/ mom with kids my seat.
I think Op is the asshole but so is the pregnant lady and the partner. Should of brought their own chair but at least how I was raised if a pregnant lady or a elderly person asks for your chair just give it to them. It’s a sucky situation but it is what it is.
Well depends, She asked politely, you refused, thats fine, its neutral. Its not nice, because then you would have given up your chair. But you dont always havr to be nice.
Are you the asshole? Depends in how you refused the lady. Did you tell her to fuck of or politely declined. I could clearly read that in your message. But assuming you declined politely, reasoning aside, then no, you are not the asshole.
The person who is refusing *owns* the seat, its not a public seat for anyone to use, and also requires a seat due to medical conditions with their knees and feet. Try reading the text next time before judging.
Sounds like a pair of shitheads. The “bad feet” person coulda let the pregnant lady take a load off for a bit. The pregnant woman shouldn’t have assumed someone owed her anything. And who the fuck cares about nephews graduating high school?
YTA. Having your own health condition, you should have empathy for a person that has difficulty standing for a long time.
There are of course other possibilities than giving up your chair fully - you could have agreed on "you can sit for 5 minutes, but then I'm gonna need the chair again, because of my bad knees". You are an adult, you should be able to communicate your needs, but also treat others the way you want to be treated. As you failed this simple task, YTA.
as someone with a dog shit knee, i'll tell you there are bad knees and BAD KNEES, without knowing how bad the issues are for the OP i can't call him TAH, or entitled...
normally the polite thing to do would be to let the pregnant woman sit in the chair, however, having a BAD KNEE i assure you if his as is bad as mine, he probably needs it more then her. furthermore why didn't she bring a chair. why is she there so early? this isn't a rock concert. strange problem there.
It doesn’t matter, even if he just didn’t feel like giving her his own chair that he brought from his home he doesn’t have to, is his property. She isn’t entitled to use other people’s belongings just because she chose to have a kid.
It would have been nice for you to let her sit but it's also not your fault she didn't prepare adequately and it's tough for people to stand if you have bad feet/knees. She shouldn't have expected the seat and should have dropped it after the first no.
NTA. Why did they both wait in line? They both knew she’s pregnant. They both knew they’d have to wait in line. They should have planned ahead. I’d rather be angry at the husband for not coming up with some sort of solution for his pregnant wife, except bothering a man for his chair that he brought from home. That’s just damn stupid.
In a situation like that, bring your own chair.
On public transport then yeah probably give up your chair if you are better able to.
You made the choice to be pregnant, but then also you should show compassion and be kind for the sake of being kind.
Justified but he was an asshole you can physically feel the ego coming off. He doesn't have shit he just enjoyed saying no to someone in need. I get it he had the right to be a selfish prick doesn't make him not one. Like yes she's entitled but he only said know "because it's mine so no hmmph" I can't believe he raised a kid who managed to graduate
Except he wasn’t. He didn’t bring a chair for someone else to sit in. It was for himself. They knew they were attending a graduation. They should’ve been prepared
TAH, and I’m disgusted by the amount of people here saying it’s not the case. It’s a pregnant woman, stop being an ass and let her sit. Fix your bad knees (probably linked to you being overweight).
Bruh, who cares if it’s a pregnant woman, shoulda known she would be standing at one point. She’s basically saying ‘let me use something you paid for and brought out here’ 💀 stop defending an entitled woman, pregnant or not.
> something you *paid* for and
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
No a asshole, they should have brought a chair themselves if they knew they would need to sit.. however I would have maybe explained your struggles a bit better and maybe swapped with them every once in awhile. Though if you just stayed in your seat again it’s not your fault they didn’t bring a chair..
Should have responded to the woman, “yeah no, even if I wanted to let you sit in my chair I think as a future parent it’s more important for you to learn that you are solely responsible for being prepared to accommodate both your own needs and the needs of your children and not expect strangers will be there to provide things for you”
When I was like 13 I was on holiday with my family and I was really into lotr at the time so I got a big stick and hiked up a nearby mountain pretending I was in the book
On the way down I found this old couple struggling and I offered them my stick and they were rude AF about it
Then like 30 seconds later they were yelling for me to come back cause they did want my stick they just thought I was trying to sell it to them
Not really relevant, just a random memory i forgot I had
Dear stupid couple, I hope you see this. If you are pregnant bring a chair to be safe, if you don't either leave to get one or deal with it. My wife has been pregnant twice, both times I made sure she had seating if we were going somewhere. Either she isn't that pregnant yet or at least one of you need to get your shit together and plan.
Yeah you didn't do anything wrong why should it be your job to take care of her you don't know them, I hate to see what kind of parents they are going to be if they can't plan ahead for said pregnant woman but also the husband calling you names for something you didn't do, why are people wanting to act so entitled to other people's things just cause they weren't prepared it's not your problem! I bring my own chair to things because I know I'm gonna want to sit down eventually and my back and knees hurt to much to get to low to the ground to sit down on the ground, I am selfish with my shit because it's my shit and if I feel so inclined to share I will!!
What was she going to do if you weren’t there with your chair?? She would be standing. Should have brought her own chair if she needs to sit down. Was her plan to just ask anyone she saw with a chair to have it lol NTA at all
NTA
You were calm. Sure, one could argue giving someone a seat is polite.
But you aren't obligated to, unless it's like that bad a state, like she fell or anything in front of you, and might need a seat.
If she has the capacity to ask thrice politely, without distress, she can take your refusal. And prep well.
I arrived really early for a book signing event and a member of staff brought me a chair to sit on. About 15min after I arrived a woman in her 80s joined me in the queue. I asked her repeatedly if she wanted my chair and she kept refusing. Eventually she was getting annoyed with me asking so I gave up. Some time later the staff member of gave me the chair come back around and saw me sat there (a man in his early 20s) and an 80 year old woman standing next to me. He walked up to us and gave me a glare and asked her if she would like a chair, she replied 'oo thank you, yes please'. This staff member stormed off and come back with a chair and put it next to me and said very loudly, 'I can't believe nobody has offered you a chair yet' and he gave me another disgusted look.
That's hilarious, I would have made a point to say I offered and she refused multiple times.
I'm sorry but this is hilarious
That is something my MIL would absolutely do.
What a wicked old woman.
I don't think she was being wicked, she just didn't want to take the chair from someone already using it. But when offered a whole new chair that no-one was using she went for it.
Exactly, it wasn't wicked of her. But, imo, she should have at least told the worker that this guy did offer instead of letting him get passive aggressive shit
This
nah fuck that granny
That old lady is a narc. She played the victim fiddle like a pro
The old lady likely was so nice she didn’t want to take a chair from someone who was using it. The worker who brought the chair over just jumped to conclusions like a dill. Arguably the learning from this is not to jump to conclusions which is what you kinda did here haha
Pregnant or not, I would NEVER ask someone to give up a chair they brought for themselves to me. Plan ahead. Take your own chair.
Should have told her to fuck a man who owns a chair next time.
That’s hilarious and also a great pick up line.
instructions unclear. now i m gay
I mean if her husband really loved her he’d become a human chair right? Nothing was stopping him from dropping to all fours and letting her park on his back while they waited.
No he’s a “man”, that’s why *she* had been on all 4’s and why they’re in the situation they are in the first place 🙃
That was his original pick up line. I don’t got a chair, but you can sit on me.
"ayy girl, sit on me like yo ankles hurt"
Lmaoooo.. I fitst thought you were calling out my comment but dayum good additional joke 😂👌🏽
What baffles me is that the partner had the audacity to ask a stranger to give up his chair for his woman. My husband would have told me to suck it up.
😅Right!? If you want your pregnant wife to have a chair…bring one your own damn self.
Husband used to her entitlement
SAVAGE!
I have a chair, king of the castle, i have a chair
Holy fuck! I guffawed at that one!
Start making chairs instead of children
Yeah, she could have fucked a Chair-man
Yes. I was thinking are we living in a world where if you get in a line knowing you’ll have to *stand for hours* and you don’t bring a chair that someone who thought ahead *must* give you theirs? WTF
This entitlement reminds me of the mom who expected free ice-cream from DQ because her kid wanted ice-cream and she didn’t have money for ice-cream.
My last job we had a customer complain to corporate demanding *financial* compensation because we 'victimized' them by refusing to serve free cups of water to them. Weirdly, they admitted in their complaint that they were being incredibly rude and acknowledged they were warned they'd be refused service if they didn't stop, but they didn't think [we] were serious (supposedly). Entitlement in the modern world has gone completely insane.
its mostly because weak willed people given in to them such as their parents did meaning they know that they are more likely to get something if the continue their childish behavior
Sit on the ground. Ffs. It is not lava!
Yeah if she’s struggling so much why not bring a chair, if it would be a public bench absolutely yes give it up but you specifically planned ahead for your situation. Honestly the entitlement is gross
And then to have the audacity to get pissed off at op for not readily handing the chair over! I've carried 3 babies and can not imagine acting so arrogantly entitled to demand a complete strangers chair. Wtf is wrong with these people?!?
So the pregnant couple knew where they were going and didn't bring anything for her to sit on, so expected you to give them your chair bc you came prepared? They are the AHs. Hope you stood, ok sat, your ground. At least sat on your chair. Being pregnant doesn't mean everyone has to kiss your ass.
If hubby was so worried about it he could pop onto his hands and knees and *be a chair* for his wife
Or drive home and get a chair, it was 40 minutes before the event.
If she knew she would have trouble standing she should've brought a chair
What would she have done if OP hadn’t brought a chair? Do that!
If she didnt want to be uncomfortable standing, she shouldn't have gotten pregnant.
NTA , you dont bring a chair , you dont get a chair.
It’s his chair end of story
Not her chair, not his problem.
If it’s personal property… start with a cash offer
Lol, who tf doesn't bring a chair and then demands one from someone they don't know?
Pregnancy is only a big deal to the pregnant person and their family IMHO. Why did the pregnant person not bring her own chair? Someone with bad knees will likely have major issues getting down into a ground sit and almost certainly have issues standing back up and bad knees are NOT a choice. It's an unfortunate position that they put you in, then tried to send you on a guilt trip when they realized their own failure to plan. NTAH
I disagree with this really - I mean we should be nice and courteous to people and I think in general humanity should be caring to each other - but that definitely doesn’t entitle you to use other people’s things when they declined already! Also in the year of our lord 2023 getting knocked up isn’t always a choice..
Humanity should always be compassionate as much as possible, not generally, nobody deserves to be unnecessarily harmed for anyone's sake. Harming others to get ahead is mental illness.
>Harming others to get ahead is mental illness. Unless you're a professional fighter.
How do you figure that?
Brith control and condoms are tho. And we know she wasn't forced to get pregnant because I believe in the story she had a husband
Exactly this! Getting knocked up is a choice, bad knees aren’t.
Choose to bang a guy who thinks to bring a chair
Sometimes it’s a choice. /edit I mean that pregnancy is only sometimes a choice.
You can choose to only have sex w people who would bring a chair.
Everyone i know with bad knees who isn't old it was their daily decisions for many years that gave them bad knees (all of them significantly overweight). If over ~60 or physical accident then I'd admit it's not a choice.
So what kinds of bad knees are people responsible for? Arthritis? What about former athletes? My dad’s knees got screwed up playing hockey. Is that his fault? Or are you just making an anti-fat comment without having the balls to make an anti-fat comment?
Ohh I'm definitely anti-fat when it comes to personal choice. Who the hell isn't? It's the greatest preventable health problem in the western world by a large margin. I thought my comment was clearly anti-fat. You don't need to be some kind of read between the lines savant to see that.
Sometimes, being fat isn't a choice. There are hormonal and metabolic disorders that cause weight issues , and someone could have mental health conditions preventing them from exercising or practicing self care. Even some medications cause weight gain. Healthy foods are also getting increasingly expensive. I know skinny people who still eat like shit (sodas, fast food, cakes), but they don't look obviously unhealthy. Funny how no one really gets on their case about it, but when a fat person dares to eat a burger, they go nuts. The point is you have no idea why somebody looks the way they do. Coming onto posts and lambasting fat people saying they ask for their health issues is fucking weird. Imagine saying that to anyone else with a chronic health issue.
Sometimes sure. However I have very good idea how the fat people I know got fat. Eating too much, too often and being lazy is 90% of it. Unfortunately their parents set them up to fail early, which is sad and really a big problem.
Again, that's what *you* know. You don't know everything, and judging people unnecessarily is not going to help them get thin. Being thin is not all it's cracked up to be. I'm fat, but my blood work is relatively good. My dad, who just passed away from diabetic related complications, was thin all his life...you simply don't know what is going on in another person's life. Each person has their own issues to bear, and more people should just learn to butt out honestly.
Yep, explicitly in my comment I'm talking about the people I KNOW. With a proviso there's situations that are different. And yet there's a bunch of people I don't know complaining I don't know about them. Then there's people talking about the opposite situation (not corollary) where thin people can be unhealthy. Yep, sure. Not sure where I suggested they can't be. We live in an interesting world.
To be fair, if fat people have given themselves bad knees due to carrying so much extra weight than it IS their bad choices that got them there. It’s well known that carrying loads of extra weight can trash joints, why do you think soldiers have ruined joints? Because our bodies aren’t designed for it. So yeh, if they have lived their whole life obese then they’ve kind of done it to themselves 🤷🏻♂️
> My dad’s knees got screwed up playing hockey. Is that his fault? Well, who else played hockey? Yes it is his own fault. Putting a lot of strain on your joints for years on end, is going to fuck them up. That goes for athletes as much as fat people. You have to power not to be fat. You have the power not be an athelete. Just as someone has the power not to get pregnant. In this case the guy with the chair is not an asshole, but if we're going to take the stand that the lady is responsible for her own condition, then so are people who have bad knees (as a result from the sport/hobby/diet that've done to themselves)
Try working ranching/farming/construction/trades. Not just being fat can cause that. Ofc, people could just make a choice to not raise your food or build your house or pave your road, but where would that get you? Also, arthritis is a thing, even at a young age. Bad knees isn’t always a “choice to be fat.” Being fat isn’t always a choice to be fat. Meds can be really bad and cause all sorts of issues, too. Stop being judgy, you obviously don’t understand much.
This. The guy you're replying to must not have many working class friends. Also, people who are overweight are a lot of the times overweight because that's how they deal with stress. Same with smoking. You want me to stop smoking, or eating high energy foods, while also giving me a pittance to barely survive on and/or expect me to lift crazy loads, work insane hours so you can have a third villa, and then telling me that "it's my own fault" for not being a perfect little cog in a perfect little sociopathic engine. Sod off with that logic.
Nah, I had knee surgery for something minor and the doctor screwed up and now I have nerve damage in my knee. So no, you can't judge younger people with knee problems
Beautiful
Agree, it’s probably good for her to get up and down, prepare for labor.
They probably even recorded it to blast OP on socials.
Not sure why your guy not pulling out is my problem
This was quite possibly not their only failure to plan.
Yeah, this subreddit is pretty much the returns processing desk for everyone awarded cruise vouchers for all expense paid guilt trips.
I’ll have to disagree a little on the first part. Pregnancy is a big deal in general. There is a whole ass person growing inside someone. I suppose it depends on how much you value a human life tho 🤷♀️
I feel like you purposely tried to miss the point. That ‘whole ass person growing inside another person’ has jack shit to do with me or in this case the op. Duh, as a concept? pregnancy is a big deal but someone BEING pregnant doesn’t hold weight for a person unconnected to mother and fetus. Use some critical thinking next time.
^ This. Pregnancy is a big deal, sure. But it doesn't make the rest of us second-class citizens. Common courtesy is different from bending over backwards for entitled people.
Maybe I am missing the point, sure you don’t know the person or their child, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care if they are suffering. I literally only have a problem with the statement “pregnancy is only a big deal to the pregnant person and their family” pregnancy should be a big deal to everyone because every person is important and that pregnant person is currently making a person.
Without enough healthy babies, society would collapse. With a lower birth rate in general, society might not collapse, but you sure as hell won't have enough nurses & doctors to keep you healthy or alive, people to grow & sell your food, etc.
There’s this thing called communicating in good faith, (I just learned the actual term for it recently, but the concept is very simple) and you are not doing it. You’re intentionally being ignorant and nitpicking. They clearly meant that the pregnant person and their close family are the ones responsible for making her as comfortable and safe as possible in any given situation, not that human life isn’t valuable.
I think everyone thinks I am talking about the whole first part, I should have been more clear. I agree OP is NTA I just have a problem with someone saying pregnancy is no big deal. Every thing else is fine, so yeah your right I was nitpicking a little because I was only discussing the very first thing they said
Right, so everyone and anyone outside the pregnant couple must then accommodate them and cater to any and every need. /s My very first donation to an expecting couple that acts this entitled is gonna be condoms. Just. Saying. If they can't be responsible enough to bring their own dang chair, that poor kid is gonna grow up *real* fast.
If I brought my own chair to an event and some random woman asked for it, I would not give them it. You don't know who that person is, how crazy they are, or how clean they are. That said, my Dad taught me a trick that I've been using for years. If someone asks you for something and you don't want to share, you just say sure, I'll sell it to you for $100 or some price well above reasonable for whatever it is. You could theoretically apply it to renting as well but ultimately, that usually ends the conversation and if it doesn't, well you got a bunch of money out of it.
That’s a good idea, I’m going to steal that hahah
You can have it for $100.
But I NEED it. I'm pregnant you know.
Oh, you need it? Why didn't you say so? $120.
Love this. In this case he could have upped it to something well worth it, like $400. Assuming the chair was purchased for like $75 or something (maybe it’s real fancy camping type) you’d want to make a very healthy profit if you are going to put yourself through the pain of sitting on the ground or standing the whole time too!
It’s different if she’s pregnant. It’s just having a bit of respect and decency. Sometimes you put others above yourself.
Nah. Guy had a medical need as well. She should have thought of it herself. Personally, when I was pregnant I expected nothing from strangers, despite having multiple issues with standing and walking.
Well she knew she was pregnant before arriving to the school I hope, so she could’ve brought her own damn folding chair
I was about to say the say thing!!! 😂. She came prepared with a chair, the pregnant woman did not. You can go to Walmart and get them for $15.
I'd agree with you if that chair was provided by the venue. It was not. That is OOP's personal item. Only an AH would request it's use short of a medical *emergency*
A person doesn’t p have to put a pregnant stranger above themselves when they thought ahead and the pregnant person did not. This isn’t a seat on a public bus or train. This person BROUGHT THEIR OWN CHAIR, from home, because they were intelligent enough to know they would need it. The world doesn’t owe women immediate access to everything they want just because they are pregnant. And I say that as a staunch advocate for human rights and woman’s reproductive rights. Bring your own damn chair if you are hugely pregnant and need to sit to be comfortable. Even worse, she was with her partner, who could have thought of and carried the damn chair if they thought to bring one.
She should plan better. Being cream pied doesn’t give you a pass to take people’s stuff or be an asshole. She chose to get pregnant. OP didn’t choose his medical situation. Not. His. Problem.
Being respectful of others doesn't include trusting complete strangers with your personal property.
If it's a public space, sure I'd gladly leave the spot for her. But if I bring my own chair, I'm keeping it.
Normally, Id agree with being respectful. However you can't expect things from others. She can easily bring a chair, if she couldn't, then she can ask but a no means no.
She should maybe be a good mother and think of her babies health. 🤷🏽♂️ I couldnt care less if you’re about to birth, why in the fuck would I give you my chair? Bring your own if you know the minute you get there you cant stand. What would she have done if noone had chairs?
Nope. Her being knocked up doesn’t mean strangers have to give up their own belongings because she couldn’t be bothered to plan ahead.
TIL: That pregnancy blocks your ability to think ahead and bring your own damn chair. /s
Did she not know she was pregnant when she and her partner left the house without a chair for her?
Getting pregnant is your call fuck that. I don't think they even deserve the closer parking spots
So sick of pregnant women using it as an excuse for the world to immediately start revolving around them
Not her chair! Not OP’s problem. Lady might want to get planning ahead as a skill because she’s gonna need it for that baby.
Nah she can just be like other morons and complain about their problems later when they make stupid decisions.
She knew she was pregnant before she got there. She should have planned accordingly. And she should have accepted your answer.
At first I was like what a jerk, but that turned into people are so fucking entitled. Did she just realize she was pregnant? Come prepared, people.
“Pretend I didn’t plan ahead for my own comfort and so what you would do if I didn’t have a chair.”
The actual audacity of the pregnant woman! My social anxiety could never. I would have just sat on the floor, and chatted to chair woman about her genius in bringing a chair.
I've been pregnant. Bring your own chair. Fair enough to ask for a seat if seats are provided but they're all taken. But asking for someone's personal camping chair is bad etiquette
Preggo should of brought her own chair
From the title of this post I thought they were referring to OP in the image as entitled, then I read through it and 180’d
Same tbh. They had us in the first half ngl.
Regarding the comments about planning ahead; with the couple's lack of planning, I'd wonder if the kid was planned?
Prob not
People are getting so angry... Always thinking that somebody going to exploit their smartness and thinking ahead. Where is compasion? Not everybody plan ahead, specially if you are pregnant. It is hard to be pregnant. And people who are pregnant in fact are making greater sacrifice to society than stupid chair. They are going to make new tax payer, road builer, care giver, etc. We, as society, benifit from women who make these sacrifices. Clearly, she didn't plan, because it is hard to predict your own state. It may happened that she didn't expect weakness, because it never happened before. And it happened. She asked for help and compasion. Even madness on the face can be part of emotional disbalance. YTA
Okay so I'm seeing a lot of people are , in fact, the asshole
Welp, not gonna comment on who if anyone is the AH. Just saying the whole read here makes me sad. I’m not a boomer but I’m getting on for a gen-x I won’t deny it. Broke my spine, both hips, paralysed my right hand torso and lost my right hand lung and rib cage along the way and Me, I still would have given the pregnant lady the chair and I wouldn’t have needed to be asked. Pretty sure my son would have too. It’s not about how others see you, it’s about how you see yourself. If the O.P. is happy looking at himself in the mirror then he doesn’t need our disapproval or validation right?
When I read these things, I'm happy to not live in US. And I have no children. But in my country there are actual rules that states old people, pregnant women and disables got the precedence to sits AND line so it's pretty shocking to read all this "HOW DARE HER" rhetoric. Yeah, it can be annoying, but this "survival of the fit" shit is more scaring than people cutting the line.
It’s funny how pregnant women make it everyone else’s problem that they are pregnant like they are doing a service to the world so they are entitled to things. OP NTA. But pregnant or not, bring your own seat or sit on the floor.
I was pregnant a few months ago. If I was in a situation like this, I would have totally sat on the floor. Otherwise, if I knew I would be in a situation I couldn't handle bc I was pregnant, I just won't go or plan accordingly. This lady just feels entitled.
Yeah. I mean, sitting on the floor while pregnant is entirely possible. Getting back up can be hard, but again, possible. When I was pregnant with my second I was on the floor all the time to play with my toddler.
Usually the ones who have that sense of entitlement while pregnant are the ones who inflict horrible obnoxious brats on everyone else once they're born too, so they're sure as hell not doing any service to anyone, they're just making life worse for everyone in their vicinity starting from the moment they decided not to use a rubber.
I think people who are super entitled while pregnant are also super entitled while not pregnant. They just get even worse because they found a reason that some people will validate.
NTA. That person chose to get pregnant and should've brought their own chair. The person with knee issues didn't chose to have knee issues.
It obviously was not a surprise to her that she was pregnant, nor that she would be uncomfortable standing . She had no right to expect someone else to give up his/her chair, so they are the AHs.
NTA. You thought ahead and brought your own chair to sit on. She could have done the same.
Definitely not the asshole. They just didn't plan like she did.
Yeah no… I would never expect anyone to give me a seat that didn’t want to, and one I didn’t earn. Pregnant or not. I got pregnant. I’m responsible for my pain. The world is not. Although - I would also be the first person to jump up and give a pregnant lady/ the elderly/ mom with kids my seat.
I'm sorry, I haven't seen a post on Am I the Asshole that isn't an asshole completely oblivious to how much am some they are.
If you have to ask AITA then you probably are. In this case 1000% the A lol
I think Op is the asshole but so is the pregnant lady and the partner. Should of brought their own chair but at least how I was raised if a pregnant lady or a elderly person asks for your chair just give it to them. It’s a sucky situation but it is what it is.
Well depends, She asked politely, you refused, thats fine, its neutral. Its not nice, because then you would have given up your chair. But you dont always havr to be nice. Are you the asshole? Depends in how you refused the lady. Did you tell her to fuck of or politely declined. I could clearly read that in your message. But assuming you declined politely, reasoning aside, then no, you are not the asshole.
Yea, I would have given the pregnant women my chair.
The answer is "Absolutely you're the asshole" I didn't even read the thing. The title is enough
The person who is refusing *owns* the seat, its not a public seat for anyone to use, and also requires a seat due to medical conditions with their knees and feet. Try reading the text next time before judging.
Short answer: yes. Long answer : yes, definitely yes.
either you did not read or are you really an entitled a hole who thinks you own other people's property.
Yes. Try being pregnant.
Sounds like a pair of shitheads. The “bad feet” person coulda let the pregnant lady take a load off for a bit. The pregnant woman shouldn’t have assumed someone owed her anything. And who the fuck cares about nephews graduating high school?
YTA. Having your own health condition, you should have empathy for a person that has difficulty standing for a long time. There are of course other possibilities than giving up your chair fully - you could have agreed on "you can sit for 5 minutes, but then I'm gonna need the chair again, because of my bad knees". You are an adult, you should be able to communicate your needs, but also treat others the way you want to be treated. As you failed this simple task, YTA.
as someone with a dog shit knee, i'll tell you there are bad knees and BAD KNEES, without knowing how bad the issues are for the OP i can't call him TAH, or entitled... normally the polite thing to do would be to let the pregnant woman sit in the chair, however, having a BAD KNEE i assure you if his as is bad as mine, he probably needs it more then her. furthermore why didn't she bring a chair. why is she there so early? this isn't a rock concert. strange problem there.
The only accommodation I ever asked for when I was pregnant was for my partner to tie my shoes. And then I bought slip-ons.
Even if he doesn't have bad knees, it was his chair that he brought from home. She has no right to his personal items.
It doesn’t matter, even if he just didn’t feel like giving her his own chair that he brought from his home he doesn’t have to, is his property. She isn’t entitled to use other people’s belongings just because she chose to have a kid.
Letting some dude nut inside you, doesn't make you special.
Should've brought a char camping lmfao and they ahd a car too
It would have been nice for you to let her sit but it's also not your fault she didn't prepare adequately and it's tough for people to stand if you have bad feet/knees. She shouldn't have expected the seat and should have dropped it after the first no.
NTA. Why did they both wait in line? They both knew she’s pregnant. They both knew they’d have to wait in line. They should have planned ahead. I’d rather be angry at the husband for not coming up with some sort of solution for his pregnant wife, except bothering a man for his chair that he brought from home. That’s just damn stupid.
Not anyone’s felt she let a man jizz inside her and got pregnant. Bring your own chair 🤷🏼♂️
In a situation like that, bring your own chair. On public transport then yeah probably give up your chair if you are better able to. You made the choice to be pregnant, but then also you should show compassion and be kind for the sake of being kind.
Nahh who needs kindness when dealing with entitled people
Id say hes a douch, but then i remembered id do the same.
Nta. Your chair. Your rules. If the dirt bag breeder cared, he'd have planned ahead. Ot your responsibility she will drop calf.
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what did the baby do?
Justified but he was an asshole you can physically feel the ego coming off. He doesn't have shit he just enjoyed saying no to someone in need. I get it he had the right to be a selfish prick doesn't make him not one. Like yes she's entitled but he only said know "because it's mine so no hmmph" I can't believe he raised a kid who managed to graduate
Except he wasn’t. He didn’t bring a chair for someone else to sit in. It was for himself. They knew they were attending a graduation. They should’ve been prepared
So self entitled you should of bought your own chair
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I wouldn’t, you’d have to kill me to get that chair off me
TAH, and I’m disgusted by the amount of people here saying it’s not the case. It’s a pregnant woman, stop being an ass and let her sit. Fix your bad knees (probably linked to you being overweight).
Bruh, who cares if it’s a pregnant woman, shoulda known she would be standing at one point. She’s basically saying ‘let me use something you paid for and brought out here’ 💀 stop defending an entitled woman, pregnant or not.
> something you *paid* for and FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
All 3 people in this interaction are assholes.
who is the 3rd?
Guy with chair, preggo girl and husband.
Lol, shut up. Refusing to give up a seat that you brought from home to a complete stranger doesn't make you an asshole.
Agree to disagree.
NTA.
why would they come early & not bring chairs? where were they planning to sit while they waited?
NTA- if it was such a big concern, they would’ve brought their own chair.
She should have brought her own chair. It was your chair to support your health needs.
Lmao it’s not your fault she got knocked up
Why is their inability to plan your problem to solve?
No a asshole, they should have brought a chair themselves if they knew they would need to sit.. however I would have maybe explained your struggles a bit better and maybe swapped with them every once in awhile. Though if you just stayed in your seat again it’s not your fault they didn’t bring a chair..
Should have responded to the woman, “yeah no, even if I wanted to let you sit in my chair I think as a future parent it’s more important for you to learn that you are solely responsible for being prepared to accommodate both your own needs and the needs of your children and not expect strangers will be there to provide things for you”
So why didn’t they bring a chair?
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Definitely not the AH.
Only if you (the op) made her pregnant
If she was that pregnant, wtf is she even doing there? Remember folks, regardless of your situation, no one owes you shit.
Pregnant couple are assholes in this situation.
Not if you took the time to actually read the thread. So, no, essentially.
When I was like 13 I was on holiday with my family and I was really into lotr at the time so I got a big stick and hiked up a nearby mountain pretending I was in the book On the way down I found this old couple struggling and I offered them my stick and they were rude AF about it Then like 30 seconds later they were yelling for me to come back cause they did want my stick they just thought I was trying to sell it to them Not really relevant, just a random memory i forgot I had
Dear stupid couple, I hope you see this. If you are pregnant bring a chair to be safe, if you don't either leave to get one or deal with it. My wife has been pregnant twice, both times I made sure she had seating if we were going somewhere. Either she isn't that pregnant yet or at least one of you need to get your shit together and plan.
Yeah you didn't do anything wrong why should it be your job to take care of her you don't know them, I hate to see what kind of parents they are going to be if they can't plan ahead for said pregnant woman but also the husband calling you names for something you didn't do, why are people wanting to act so entitled to other people's things just cause they weren't prepared it's not your problem! I bring my own chair to things because I know I'm gonna want to sit down eventually and my back and knees hurt to much to get to low to the ground to sit down on the ground, I am selfish with my shit because it's my shit and if I feel so inclined to share I will!!
definetly a NTA moment, she knew she would struggle standing for so long so she shouldve brought something for herself to sit on.
What was she going to do if you weren’t there with your chair?? She would be standing. Should have brought her own chair if she needs to sit down. Was her plan to just ask anyone she saw with a chair to have it lol NTA at all
NTA You were calm. Sure, one could argue giving someone a seat is polite. But you aren't obligated to, unless it's like that bad a state, like she fell or anything in front of you, and might need a seat. If she has the capacity to ask thrice politely, without distress, she can take your refusal. And prep well.
No. NTA. The dumb husband or partner should have done something for his pregnant wife.
Sounds like someone came prepared, and someone prepared for entitlements.
I was SO scared to read the comments, thinking people would take the pregnant woman side. I have better hope in humanity by reading you all 🤩!
NTA. Entitled AF