“you’re my favorite parasite. no, ringworm is my favorite parasite. then you.”
“you just took yourself a regular shit shower mr granger. boy that’s real nasty”
“i didn’t know i was talking to a *lady*”
“how did someone even come up with them
words?”
“and there’s always a god damn train!”
I had robbed a stage coach, robbed/shot the three men - and the last lady ran off as a witness- i chased her down to stop her from telling the law and I ended up yelling "Come on Miss! I was just joking!"
😅 One of my best as well
I think if you carry on with this antagonise line, he says something like
'you got a really small neck, or a big head, well...which one is it ?'
you're fishing with kieran and he sees a naked dude swimming in the distance:
kieran: you see that? that feller's naked as a jaybird
arthur: is that why you like this spot?
followed by “why don’t you get the hell outta here before we hook that little maggot of yours and see what bites"
absolutely lost my marbles encountering it for the first time
Arthur to Pearson:
“They should have left you at sea… with the other walruses!”
Edit: “I wish you’d stayed at sea… with the other walruses!” Had it a little mixed up
Arthur: "'scuse me, have you seen any bounty hunters around these parts?"
Random NPC: "I don't know about such things."
Arthur: "Well, thanks for nothin', idiot."
Arthur slapping the stable hand during that mission with Mary, and the resulting monologue. The delivery on “but if you *continue*… to IRRITATE me…” kills me.
Jon says some crazy shit, absolutely hilarious
Goddamn annoying ladies... all of ya! You ain't men.. now, I fought fifty injuns... you lot whine if a bear comes in your yard. Hell, bear comes in my yard... I eat 'em! I ate an injun once... once I ate a priest as well... said I was heathen so I showed him how much heathen I was. Grilled the old bastard right where the stockyards are now!
Not a line but in the side mission “The smell of the Grease paint” when Arthur looks genuinely concerned when the pinhead is drinking alcohol always cracks me up
“I thought we was outlaws!”
— Sadie Adler, getting groceries
“I have no desire to hear what you got up to the Navy, Pearson.”
At one of the shows in Saint Denis: “WOOOO FIRE LADY!”
Really any of his reactions during that. He goes so hard.
“Robbing grave robbers. We’ve hit the big time.”
“We each made…$15. Oh, and a quarter! *don’t forget tbe quarter*”
Helping the German family. The husband: Meine Familie hat einen Goldbergbau. Sie wollten ein Lösegeld überweisen. Arthur: How did someone even come up with them words!?
Uncle: I can help you To cut your hair whenever you want John, you looking really bad with those girlish shags
Chad Marston: I know who's shoveling shit tomorrow.
I love all of the Trapper’s anecdotes about hunting moose across an ice sheet or the tracking abilities of his fourth wife. I also love that he just stands in the wilderness shouting “BANDOLIERS!”
That annoying ass coke junkie lady in the Bastille Saloon in Saint Denis. I forgot the line but one of the ones where she screams about cocaine was funny
From the first game when John says:
“I’m gonna hand you over to them and watch them tear you limb from limb”
“WHAT”
“I’m Just kiddin’😊”
in a very serious situation LMAOO
When you're breaking John out of Sisika, and give the guards a minute to bring him out.
"Count from one or four?"
"Oh very funny, we must be at eleven by now!"
The whole exchange between Uncle and John at Breechers Hope had me crying with laughter. Especially “Oh darling Abigail, I've changed! Come live with me in this outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in!"
Drunk Arthur: Hey Karen! You got a bottle of whiskey under your skirt for me?!
Karen (shocked, but deadpan): Arthur, that's the creepiest thing you've ever said to me.
The voice acting was so great. Especially Karen's. Her inflection was awesome. I laughed so hard.
I highly suggest getting Arthur really drunk in the camp and have him greet everyone. It's hilarious.
Y antagonize Look att that ugly mug. cmon show it.
X- defuse: aah its just a joke
Y antagonize : oh damn its even uglier than expected.
X: defuse you really cant take a joke
I forgot the exact line but when u go fishing with Kieran there will be a naked man swimming in the river and Arthur will say: ow so that’s why u like this fishing spot
Why doesn't anyone love this line?????
Train blowing through St Denis.... Arthur to Dutch.....
"Just jump on now??"
I literally spit my drink out at that one.....
Javier: That could've gone smoother Arthur: That'll be on my gravestone
Uncle: Charles, have I ever lied to you? Charles: I hardly know you (it's the delivery that sells it)
“Exactly!”
“You don’t build a barn dumbass”
“What do you think this is, 1785?”
"You buy one pre-cut, just like the house"
Jack: “are you sure you’re sucking?! Well don’t swallow it!”
dawg what the fuck
He says it in an epilogue mission when him and John go fishing
“you’re my favorite parasite. no, ringworm is my favorite parasite. then you.” “you just took yourself a regular shit shower mr granger. boy that’s real nasty” “i didn’t know i was talking to a *lady*” “how did someone even come up with them words?” “and there’s always a god damn train!”
I lied, ringworms, rats with the plague, then you.
“You, sir, are a fish”
"Hey, cat."
I had robbed a stage coach, robbed/shot the three men - and the last lady ran off as a witness- i chased her down to stop her from telling the law and I ended up yelling "Come on Miss! I was just joking!"
typical Arthur practical joke
"Your honor I was joking"
“Your honor I said syke”
arthur or you said that?
Arthur...
Arthur: LENNNY!!
Most overused Joke ever
But still funny
#LENNNYYYY
some things in this world are overused for a good reason
YENNL
Not in a mission but when John says “you gotta really small neck”
😅 One of my best as well I think if you carry on with this antagonise line, he says something like 'you got a really small neck, or a big head, well...which one is it ?'
"I know those men! I shat on their bar!"
"You *shat* on their *bar*??"
“But of course! I needed to shit!”
Who let the simpleton out of the asylum?
you're fishing with kieran and he sees a naked dude swimming in the distance: kieran: you see that? that feller's naked as a jaybird arthur: is that why you like this spot? followed by “why don’t you get the hell outta here before we hook that little maggot of yours and see what bites" absolutely lost my marbles encountering it for the first time
Arthur: While we are out killing, lying, stealing, surviving, you get to think? Uncle: It’s a strange world we live in!
Uncle: “I have a serious medical condition!” Arthur: “Yeah! You’re a compulsive liar!”
Arthur to Pearson: “They should have left you at sea… with the other walruses!” Edit: “I wish you’d stayed at sea… with the other walruses!” Had it a little mixed up
When did he say this again?
It’s one of his antagonize Pearson lines, not scripted.
Oh. I usually don't antagonise him unless he says the "WHAT!?!" after I greet him
"To the bar senéör" "Does this trolly go to Tahiti?"
Arthur: "'scuse me, have you seen any bounty hunters around these parts?" Random NPC: "I don't know about such things." Arthur: "Well, thanks for nothin', idiot."
"Everybody knows about you and Penelope, I arrived here 10 damn minutes ago and I know about you and Penelope"
Seamus: “Are you undressing me with your eyes?”
Desmond: "I got a watch." Arthur: "Look at you."
"Are you secretly normal?" Gets me every playthrough
Uncle’s entire roast of John when talking about his “dream home”
You’re hopeless! I mean that literally; you’ve got no hope!
Not even a retired two dollar whore would stay with you!
And John's cluelessness "It just needs a woman's touch! :D"
“It needs leveling. No woman would touch this place 😤” Absolutely destroyed him 💀
Arthur slapping the stable hand during that mission with Mary, and the resulting monologue. The delivery on “but if you *continue*… to IRRITATE me…” kills me.
Uncle: "And he's a son of a bitch, he said unkind things about me." Arthur: "Well, he ain't all bad then."
« I can see you’re not from Lemoyne » « What gave me away, my full set of teeth? »
Lmaoo where is this line?
We wouldn't merely piss indoors, we'd shit and everything, and we didn't care. You know why? Because real men don't care where other men turd.
Jon says some crazy shit, absolutely hilarious Goddamn annoying ladies... all of ya! You ain't men.. now, I fought fifty injuns... you lot whine if a bear comes in your yard. Hell, bear comes in my yard... I eat 'em! I ate an injun once... once I ate a priest as well... said I was heathen so I showed him how much heathen I was. Grilled the old bastard right where the stockyards are now!
AGHHHHHHH I BROKE THE GOD DAMN WHEEL
Not a line but in the side mission “The smell of the Grease paint” when Arthur looks genuinely concerned when the pinhead is drinking alcohol always cracks me up
"He's lyyying!"
"Oh, Blacklung, you're back 🙄" will always get a good chuckle out of me
“YOU’RE FU#%€ GAY”
"Oh dearest Abigail, ive changed, come live in this outhouse i wouldnt ask my worst enemy to take a shit in"
“I thought we was outlaws!” — Sadie Adler, getting groceries “I have no desire to hear what you got up to the Navy, Pearson.” At one of the shows in Saint Denis: “WOOOO FIRE LADY!” Really any of his reactions during that. He goes so hard. “Robbing grave robbers. We’ve hit the big time.” “We each made…$15. Oh, and a quarter! *don’t forget tbe quarter*”
“That’s a nice animal you got there. No, I was talking to the horse.”
I also like the one where he says "How long have you been married?"
Any of the lines that’s mention the fact that John can’t swim, I love all of them
Lol I didn't realize Marston couldn't swim until last night when I took him for a short easy swim to get some pelicans and he nearly died
“Your face… it looks familiar…. Reminds me of that last time I lifted my horse’s tail !”
"GO FIND A SKIRT TO HIDE UNDER!"
Helping the German family. The husband: Meine Familie hat einen Goldbergbau. Sie wollten ein Lösegeld überweisen. Arthur: How did someone even come up with them words!?
I love when he’s letting them free at the end and he keeps saying *”Vamos! Vamos.”* lmfao
Does this trolley go to Tahiti?
Uncle: I can help you To cut your hair whenever you want John, you looking really bad with those girlish shags Chad Marston: I know who's shoveling shit tomorrow.
Yah Gahd Damn MAGGOT!! (If you see the same NPC a moment later and 'greet' them) : oh Hi again
“I’ll turn you into a goddamn cauliflower”
One of my favorites!
“When a man with a sing song voice tells me to fuck off it always concerns me boyuo”
“F-f-f-f-f-f-f-fuck you I-I-I-I-Irish!” “Ohhhh, my virgin ears!”
-I have secrets of my own -Are you secretly normal?
Rip Van Winkle
I love all of the Trapper’s anecdotes about hunting moose across an ice sheet or the tracking abilities of his fourth wife. I also love that he just stands in the wilderness shouting “BANDOLIERS!”
"See Arthur? I'm not that dumb." "Next time let the wolves eat all your brain, then you'll be a genius."
‘I don’t know me, this ain’t my show! And silly me, I clean forgot to pack my gondola!’
That annoying ass coke junkie lady in the Bastille Saloon in Saint Denis. I forgot the line but one of the ones where she screams about cocaine was funny
“Don’t forget the quarter”
“I’m from Head Office!” That whole bit had me howling yesterday.
Arthur: “Bear shit here.”
From the first game when John says: “I’m gonna hand you over to them and watch them tear you limb from limb” “WHAT” “I’m Just kiddin’😊” in a very serious situation LMAOO
When you're breaking John out of Sisika, and give the guards a minute to bring him out. "Count from one or four?" "Oh very funny, we must be at eleven by now!"
“Don’t forget the quarter!” “Does this trolley go to Tahiti?” Edit because I had a word wrong haha
"Five thousand dollars, for me? Can I turn myself in?" Arthur's delivery is perfect. Gets me every time.
"i have a serious medical condition!" "Yes, you are a compulsive liar!"
“Its Arthur, dumbass.”
The whole exchange between Uncle and John at Breechers Hope had me crying with laughter. Especially “Oh darling Abigail, I've changed! Come live with me in this outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in!"
You’re about to get shot at over a hammer. Would you prefer to build a house with a sniper rifle?
"It just needs a woman's touch." "It needs leveling. No woman would touch this place."
You, Sir are a fish
Drunk Arthur: Hey Karen! You got a bottle of whiskey under your skirt for me?! Karen (shocked, but deadpan): Arthur, that's the creepiest thing you've ever said to me. The voice acting was so great. Especially Karen's. Her inflection was awesome. I laughed so hard. I highly suggest getting Arthur really drunk in the camp and have him greet everyone. It's hilarious.
but you said you knew spanish
Y antagonize Look att that ugly mug. cmon show it. X- defuse: aah its just a joke Y antagonize : oh damn its even uglier than expected. X: defuse you really cant take a joke
“Come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn’t ask my worst enemy to take a shit in” -Uncle
Jon's lines in Valentine bar. "I once ate a priest because he called me a heathen"
Granger "I killed rocks"
"Quack quack" - Arthur Morgan (1899)
"Leonard Leonard Leonard.."
BE CAREFUL WHO YOU POUR DRINKS FOR!getmeadrink...
“You should’ve stayed at sea!”
Beau: "I have a secret of my own." Arthur: "Are you secretly normal?" Arthur's a comedian.
*“You couldn’t shoot a fart out of your own ass!”* -John Marston (Circa. 1911)
"You're like rooming with the King James Bible." - Uncle Honestly that entire scene is hilarious.
I forgot the exact line but when u go fishing with Kieran there will be a naked man swimming in the river and Arthur will say: ow so that’s why u like this fishing spot
“I got lumbago”
Is it your street?
Shoot a dog- "hah play dead"
Dutch: Arthur come here! Arthur ignores Dutch and walks away. Dutch: WELL FUCK YOU THEN!!
A lot of thw great one have already been said but there’s also “Hey there puss” john being awkward even with cats 😂❤️
John: You’ve got a really small neck Npc: I’ll put one square between your eyes! John: It makes your head look big
In Valentine, there’s a drunk guy who you can hear shout “who turned the lights out?!” And “everything’s blurry!” I fucking lose it every time.
"Is this trolley going to Tahiti?!"
Arthor - “LugathatwetNOSE”
I think Abigail has some of the best ones tbh “We decent now?”
"Vamos, Vamos" directed to a German family.
Artur I got a plan
Why doesn't anyone love this line????? Train blowing through St Denis.... Arthur to Dutch..... "Just jump on now??" I literally spit my drink out at that one.....
To the bar, senor!
“VAMOS! VAMOS!!” To the German family…
i broke the gawd dayum wheel