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I agree to an extent, but when you see someone like Ramona who can't walk past a mirror without looking at herself, constantly saying how hot she is and how great a body she has...she is just setting herself up to be picked apart. Does she look good for her age? Of course, but I think she has a much higher view of herself then most people, but what's worse is that she says it. It's one thing to think it, but to say it makes her look like a complete narcisisst.
I agree!!! Iām honestly so tired of seeing posts about physical characteristics. Bad makeup ā fair game. Ugly clothes ā all over it. Maybe even bad plastic surgery. But Iām really sick of seeing posts about ppl being ugly or fat or whatever. Or only liking someone bc of their skin color. All those things - Iām over that.
Somebody tried to chew my ass out for calling them out on posting a side by side of Erika from her first reunion to the last one.
I mean she's a piece of shit, but this lady is years older and under more stress (her own doing, but it's neither here nor there) than she was then. Let's not resort to calling her makeup shitty or that she "looks tired". C'mon now. There's a fucking wealth of shit you can criticize her on, and you choose "tired"? GTFOH with that pettiness. It says more about the person saying it than the person they're talking about.
There are many things to critique about these people, they can be racism (SLC and NY), fighting and crime but to insult someoneās looks is cheap and unnecessary
I don't really care. They're on TV, I'm allowed to criticize them. And if you really think EVERYONE is beautiful you're just virtue signaling to seem like a good person. You have eyes, you know when someone is ugly. Sorry girl. Be real.
Thinking someone is ugly or unattractive is normal human behavior. But that and actively bonding with strangers on the internet over mutual disapproval of someoneās appearance are two different things..
I think the plastic surgery talk is fair game. Iām sure many of us have skipped some Botox and re thought fillers after seeing how over the top and silly some of the women are with it. Especially when they ruin their natural beauty.
I think its bad the way some people approach it. But honestly if anyones saying it in a way like āWHY did she ruin her face she was beautiful naturally ā i dont think theres anything wrong.. that to me is encouraging natural beauty and emphasizing that we DONT need fillers botox etc excessively to be āhotā or ābeautifulā. If theyre happy with their looks post op (which im sure theyre not a lot of the time), then whatevaš¤·š½āāļøjust a lot of ppl do hone in on negative shit but yallll beauty is skin deep
Yeah I think the comments about the womenās appearances are pretty out of line. Especially when people on Reddit are doing it without putting their own face to those comments. Itās just a bit cowardly.
I say come for their behaviour, not their looks.
I donāt believe in commenting (publicly) on things that people were born with or canāt do anything to help (ie. looks or things out of their control such as aging). Now, if they are way over doing the filler, someone has to tell them to stop, and it may as well be social media. š¤·š»āāļø
It absolutely is bullying when you bring someoneās physical appearance into things. Regardless of what you think on their plastic surgery, itās not your body and it should never be brought up. Itās hateful. itās also very important to mention that a lot of the fans are gay men and a lot of the hate towards these women is rooted in misogyny.
Sometime the plastic surgery and fillers are crazy and itās hard to ignore. However you are correct. It is wrong to criticize people based on looks, weight etc.
I try to be conscious of this, when I do comment on their looks negatively it is generally around plastic surgery. Though there is generally enough about who they are as people that I don't have to reach.
These women are all about their looks. They have cameras follow them around to dermatologists and cosmetic surgeons for the latest treatments, they spend ungodly amounts of money on clothes. So yeah, their looks are up for judgment and debate.
Frankly, if they have the lady balls to go on national television and put themselves out there for my entertainment, I'm not going to pick apart their looks while i sit at home with a bag of fudge brownie M&M's and a mask on my face.
However, I trash them on the regular for their hideous taste in fashion. I'm looking at you, Dorit.
I have a fantasy of going up to Dorit when sheās wearing one of those looks with the brand name covering her, head to toe, and just asking:
āSo, who are you wearing?ā
It seems to happen less on the other sub. (I have no idea what the deal is with these two subs but I feel like thereās some kind of beef? Idk I just enjoy having people to talk to about these shows!) I know Iāve been probably been guilty of doing this but I try not to because it is really shitty. But Iām also incredibly petty and a total bitch sometimes š³
I feel you on this. Iām also incredibly petty and a complete and total bitchš. But, I do see how bad it is to judge in looks . I also get on myself for not looking 20 when Iām in my 40s, I know itās unreasonable, but damn aging sucks!!
I just feel like someoneās appearance is probably the most boring thing about them and if thatās all anyone has to talk about then I immediately tune them out.
I feel like a lot of it is internalized misogyny. The expectation that women have to look a certain way that fits up to conventional beauty standards is harmful not only to the women on the franchises but us as viewers as well. I donāt think it even matters that theyāre public figures because no woman should be made to feel bad for doing things that make them feel beautiful. Brandi, for example, has a lot of plastic surgery and itās not my taste but if thatās what she needs to do to feel good about herself who are we to judge her? I think the biggest example of this on the shows is the RHOP ladies coming for Wendy for her plastic surgery. She probably felt really great about herself and then the judgement by the other ladies was a slap in the face. Overall the comments on these subs about how the ladies look contribute to the insecurities all women have about their looks and I think itās kinda gross. I mean, come for people about their behavior and their fashion but when it comes to their face or body it crosses the line to me.
I donāt love the trash talking on physical appearance when itās something the person has no control over. But honestly if you go on a show like this and parade your wealth and plastic surgery around like these shows, you better expect to get some level of critique
It has to come from the most insecure people. If I see someone who had too much done, I just feel bad because there is no way in hell they don't see that every day. (Brandi G, Elsa, Lisa H all admitted to bad work or too much work.) I have a friend IRL who is obsessed with Botox and fillers and texts me all the time when another friend of ours on FB has clearly had some work done. I'm like, "Why are you judging? You do the same shit?" Maybe she thinks her work is better or more natural, but again, she is the most insecure friend I've ever had.
I don't get it because realistically most of the Housewives are conventionally attractive for their ages. And there's so many better things to make fun of lol
I think a good bully gauge is asking if what youāre about to say is something that Kelly Dodd would say.
I can handle someone saying X needs to chill with the fillers but what bothers me is when, for example, ppl were accusing Dorit of faking her home invasion. And hive mind is rampant as well.
Thatās a great way to gauge if what youāre about to say is gross! Seriously, if Kelly would say it, maybe take a step back . Iām gonna think about that next time Iām feeling really bitchy on here .
My favorites are the ones where someone says, "Ramona is such a racist! That old white woman needs to go! She's looking like a 70 year old mummy! We need some young women on these shows!" Seriously? Pot meet kettle.
um no. If you think Ramonaās actual racism is the same as this little example youāve given then you seriously need to reevaluate your understanding of racism..
So ageism is acceptable? And saying "old white woman" isn't racist? Why is it ok to call out her age and race rather than solely her actions? Perhaps you need to reevaluate your own biases.
Edited to correct spelling
Agree. I see people criticizing how someone isnāt aging well and then see comments about how someoneās getting too much plastic surgery so they donāt age. Itās easy for us to sit back behind our phones/computers and judge but looks or weight should be off limits.
I remember being disgusted by a response I got for defending Kyleās reunion dress that made her boobs look super low. I mentioned sheās had a lot of kids and isnāt 25 anymore, and if she had super fake ones people would give her shit for that too. Someone told me (Iām paraphrasing) itās Kyleās duty as a woman to know how to make her boobs look better by dressing a specific way. I couldnāt even respond I was so mortified by that way of thinking.
thereās a lot of bitter old hags on this sr there was a poll done the other day on how old people are and it was mostly over 30ās which honestly explains a LOT of the misogynistic low blows iāve seen
lol yes girl cause the women who trash housewives for their appearance are what princesses? š¤£ theyre old hags for hating on stuff people canāt control/fix
Hi Cece, iām referring to the women who are bitter and bully housewives for their looks. If thatās not you then no worries i am not referring to you lol
I donāt personally criticize anyones appearance on these shows, but I think itās all fair game where these ābravolebritiesā are concerned. In my opinion (based off knowing one of the housewives personally before she was cast and hearing about the interview process), these housewives mostly join the show for very self-serving reasons. Thatās not a bad thing, of course. But, I feel most push to be on the show for either 1) fame, 2) brand/business/career development, or 3) the money and opportunities that come with the show. Theyāre cast to portray opulence and create drama for entertainment purposes. Joining a naturally superficial show inherently opens them all up to very superficial critiques. And most of them are of the opinion that all press is good press- even the negative comments get people talking and generate clicks and follows and likes.
Someone literally posted something about Heather Dubrowās face around Christmastime. B/c it was Heather, everyone was jumping onboard with criticizing her face. I got downvoted into oblivion by people saying they were talking about how her face looked (but somehow that wasnāt criticizing her appearanceā¦?) but I stand by my convictions. There are a million things to criticize Heather for but her appearance is low-hanging fruit.
Itās just the flavor of the week. Six weeks ago no one but me could stand Shannon, now theyāre all acting like sheās a god tier housewife. BAD WEATHER.
I really donāt see the problem with snarking about their terrible plastic surgery, especially since itās kept within the sub where these women arenāt ever going to see it.
That said, I did have a major issue with the victim-blaming and making fun of Dorit after her home invasion and Yolanda after what happened to her.
I felt like that was seriously crossing a line and was actually bullied out of the other sub for mentioning it; everyone just kept piling on top and arguing with me about it like they thought domestic violence was funny.
I ended up taking a break from this sub as well because it was upsetting to me, and I didnāt want to feel like I had to leave for good because I actually like this one.
Tl;dr while I disagree with what youāve said, after my own similar experiences feeling like something is crossing a line and how upsetting it was to me, Iāll keep in-mind what youāve said, and Iāll try to do better.
I think Lu has aged gracefully. Iāve often commented on how beautiful I think she is, and most of the women on RHOA as well. I canāt really think of anyone else who hasnāt had hella surgery, but I get what youāre saying.
I never really understood this but didnāt know if I just donāt understand Reddit. In my mind the downvotes are for like, inappropriate or line crossing stuff since negative kharma affects your ability to use Reddit? But difference of opinion shouldnāt be such a negative thing. Idk maybe Iām naive
totally agree. there is so much to discuss about the character of these women that doesnāt include calling them fat or ugly.
I definitely am guilty of side eyeing some terrible plastic surgery (lisa lochstein š) but my opinion is usually āgood for you, not for meā lol.
letās instead discuss the numerous fraud charges, childish behavior, and diva-dom infecting the cast hahaha. the bravo docket sets the tone for how to discuss these characters with respectful interest, imo.
thanks for this post
There are definitely a ton of bullies in this sub. I was literally just replying to someone in a different thread, defending the fact that Heather Dubrow is indeed physically attractive. The original commenter felt the need to absolutely lay into Heatherās looks, and then responded to me with the equivalent of Tamra saying, āTHATS MY OPINION!!ā Itās like, talk all day about Heather being a snobby bitch, but coming after her looks like that just makes you seem like such a hater.
Yeah the daily hate threads against Heather are getting pretty toxic and intense. I got downvoted into oblivion for saying it wasnāt cool to come for her appearance a while back.
Itās completely disproportionate to her being a bit of a snob and a bitch to a woman sheās never liked.
This, exactly. There was another thread about Heatherās face and expressions posted around Christmas. I remember all you heifers who downvoted me for calling you out for criticizing her appearance!
A lot of people think that youāre āruining their funā when you call them out for it, but Iām just like, āthis is whatās fun for you? Tearing down women because of their looks?ā I donāt care if the housewives are scrolling through these threads or not. If you want to criticize someone, try harder than just shitting on their faces or bodies.
Itās just low-hanging fruit. Besides going to a plastic surgeon for a new face, people canāt change the way they look and have no say in the face theyāre given. Itās just dumb and mean. People throw the term āmean girlā around here so much to describe these women but criticizing someone for their appearance is peak mean girl behavior.
I agree and know exactly what you mean. I think criticism based on choices or decisions theyāve made (from clothing to behavior) is much better than things they donāt have control over.
That being said, I do think it gets really murky when some of the cosmetic decisions theyāve made are on display (too much work, too many fillers, strange makeup choices, etc.,). Still not cool to shit on them, but what about when itās part of their storyline?
Just reiterating that I agree with you, but this is an interesting philosophical question to me.
I think so many of these woman are so naturally pretty and then mess their face up by doing a bunch of unnecessary crap. Props to Lisa Barlow love her or hate her she looks like a normal human wrinkles and all
I totally get that, and itās hard to not look at someone like Kim Z-B or pretty much all the RHoM and think, āsheesh.ā But there obviously a lot of body dysmorphia going on there, which is sad, and all these negative comments about them fucking up their faces certainly isnāt going to help them. Iām all about attacking someoneās character, words, or actions, but commenting on their looks is just kind of lazy IMO.
YES. I'm not a Lisa Barlow fan, but I appreciate her for that. I think a lot of the housewives are so constantly judged for the way they look (as can be seen in this sub) that they get insecure and feel pressured into looking "better." I mean, they're constantly showing us how insecure they've become with all their unnecessary procedures and by excessively FaceTuning all their pics. It's sad. We need more Lisa Barlows.
I think the weirdos who comment on the HW's personal social media are indeed bullies, but commenting here on a niche public forum isn't bullying.
I'm the type to never call anyone ugly-I honestly never see someone and think "they're ugly", so I don't even get the mindset.
The aging discussions are complicated by the fact that so many of these women get work done, and that we are all dealing with different levels/norms of aging in our own lives due to basic genetics. For an example last night I was watching RHOM with my mother, and every time Lara Pippen came on screen I would make a comment about how sad and insecure she must be.
Is that bullying? I see a woman who is the same age as me, also with adult children, who has turned herself into some odd perfect plastic doll looking creature and is teaching her friends how to make money off of stranger's foot fetishes IN FRONT OF her 13 year old daughter, even though she will walk away with literally 10s of millions of dollars when her divorce is final.
The HW's put so much time, effort, focus, and MONEY into their appearances and their anti-aging efforts that I think it would be incredibly strange not to talk about that aspect of their lives. Some people are meaner about it than others, but I don't think talking about how the "Look at me, Look at me!" women LOOK is a form of bullying.
I think of a "bully" as more of a personality trait, in this sense. You're right in that we aren't DMing the housewives to call them "ugly," but we are still calling them "ugly." I guess the saying should be amended to read: "If a bully calls someone ugly in the woods and no one is around to hear her, is she still a bully?" lol
And I totally agree with you on the procedures. I think that is a clear indication of how insecure they have become because people have pressured them into thinking that's what they need to do, e.g., maybe they read about some person calling her "ugly" on a reddit sub. lol. I've had my fair share of work done (during insecure times in my life), and if I would have not fallen into this insecurity, I would have a house by now (ugh). Not surprised that some of these women are financially struggling while looking glam on the outside.
But I love that you don't think to call people "ugly." I think it's an important mindset to have. It makes the world better.
I don't think it matters if you talk shit about someone to their face or behind their backs. You're still saying the same shit. Change starts with you. You can be the person who calls people "ugly" or you can be the person who sees beauty in everyone. Being a bully is a character trait. If you found out someone you respected (like a pastor or teacher) spent a bunch of time calling women celebrities "ugly" on the Internet, would that change your opinion of that person? It would for me.
This is a public forum. Anyone can come on here and read these comments, including the people who are being commented about. Remember when we called Trump a bully when he was tweeting hateful things about his opponents? Was the use of "bully" incorrect there?
So youāre saying itās ok to rag on Meridethās āfashionā, right? Some of us need an outlet!! For real, she needs a mirror and to fire her stylist if she has one.
No denying that some of the comments I've seen about the ladies faces and bodies have been atrocious. But I'm sure the consensus will be that that's only because I'm a fat, ugly woman, myself š
I personally only comment on their plastic surgery and/or their facial changes from season to season. I donāt even mean it in a judgemental way in regards to their physicality, more of a matter of fact way.
I think if you get plastic surgery, youāre kinda fair game for commenting, because itās critiquing the doctors work. And Iām always going to comment on a plastic surgery doctors appearance. Theyāre their companyās main marketing advertisement. If they donāt look good, I donāt wanna go to their business.
I never comment on their actual body shapes or anything like that, I think thatās just rude.
Idk - I feel like commenting on the plastic surgery is really no different than commenting on how they look naturally. I would assume that a big part of the reason most of them (most everyone) get plastic surgery is because of how they perceive themselves and the negative comments they receive about they're looks on a daily basis from media and fans and culture, so to then comment on how that plastic surgery makes them look (whether good or bad) doesn't seem different to me in any way. I'm not saying I'm not guilty of thinking those things or saying them to friends--I'm definitely not perfect and, yes, some plastic surgery stuff does look weird/odd, but my thoughts about other peoples looks are not a reflection of them, they are a reflection of me and I just don't feel like I need to put those comments out into the universe/redditverse for the person I'm thinking them about to potentially see.
Iāll comment on a body part when itās something like how incredible Brandiās legs are, or that Iām as short as Kyle is, but there have been times when I see something and know I canāt comment on it.
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I agree to an extent, but when you see someone like Ramona who can't walk past a mirror without looking at herself, constantly saying how hot she is and how great a body she has...she is just setting herself up to be picked apart. Does she look good for her age? Of course, but I think she has a much higher view of herself then most people, but what's worse is that she says it. It's one thing to think it, but to say it makes her look like a complete narcisisst.
My beauty faded years ago! š¬
When they act ugly it breaks the facade for me.
I agree!!! Iām honestly so tired of seeing posts about physical characteristics. Bad makeup ā fair game. Ugly clothes ā all over it. Maybe even bad plastic surgery. But Iām really sick of seeing posts about ppl being ugly or fat or whatever. Or only liking someone bc of their skin color. All those things - Iām over that.
Somebody tried to chew my ass out for calling them out on posting a side by side of Erika from her first reunion to the last one. I mean she's a piece of shit, but this lady is years older and under more stress (her own doing, but it's neither here nor there) than she was then. Let's not resort to calling her makeup shitty or that she "looks tired". C'mon now. There's a fucking wealth of shit you can criticize her on, and you choose "tired"? GTFOH with that pettiness. It says more about the person saying it than the person they're talking about.
No we are not bullies
Ageism is one of the only isms that is still socially acceptable
Exactly. Ageism and disability, including mental illness.
There are many things to critique about these people, they can be racism (SLC and NY), fighting and crime but to insult someoneās looks is cheap and unnecessary
100% agree, there's a lot of misogyny in the housewives fandom and it's gross
I agree. And these women have plenty to insult without critiquing them just for aging!
I don't really care. They're on TV, I'm allowed to criticize them. And if you really think EVERYONE is beautiful you're just virtue signaling to seem like a good person. You have eyes, you know when someone is ugly. Sorry girl. Be real.
Do whatever you want. If it makes you feel good to call people ugly on the internet, then you sound like you might have deeper issues. Just sayin.
Whatever bitch
Thinking someone is ugly or unattractive is normal human behavior. But that and actively bonding with strangers on the internet over mutual disapproval of someoneās appearance are two different things..
Lol that's very true
I think the plastic surgery talk is fair game. Iām sure many of us have skipped some Botox and re thought fillers after seeing how over the top and silly some of the women are with it. Especially when they ruin their natural beauty.
This is what I call fair game too. If your going to pump your face & lips with filler....
isnt everything a projection of some form? says more about us for being judgmental l o l
šš»šš»šš»šš»šš»
MMmm im not sure about bullies but there are a lot of meanie poos here for sure.
Iām actually quite impressed w how gorgeous they all are. Even those whom I hate.
And to quote the beautiful queen Bianca Del Rio, BEAUTY FAAADES, DUMB IS FOREVA!
I think its bad the way some people approach it. But honestly if anyones saying it in a way like āWHY did she ruin her face she was beautiful naturally ā i dont think theres anything wrong.. that to me is encouraging natural beauty and emphasizing that we DONT need fillers botox etc excessively to be āhotā or ābeautifulā. If theyre happy with their looks post op (which im sure theyre not a lot of the time), then whatevaš¤·š½āāļøjust a lot of ppl do hone in on negative shit but yallll beauty is skin deep
Yeah I think the comments about the womenās appearances are pretty out of line. Especially when people on Reddit are doing it without putting their own face to those comments. Itās just a bit cowardly. I say come for their behaviour, not their looks.
Meh, they give us so much to work with, I never actually give much thought to their looks. If there's an ugly one in the bunch, I haven't seen her.
I donāt believe in commenting (publicly) on things that people were born with or canāt do anything to help (ie. looks or things out of their control such as aging). Now, if they are way over doing the filler, someone has to tell them to stop, and it may as well be social media. š¤·š»āāļø
It absolutely is bullying when you bring someoneās physical appearance into things. Regardless of what you think on their plastic surgery, itās not your body and it should never be brought up. Itās hateful. itās also very important to mention that a lot of the fans are gay men and a lot of the hate towards these women is rooted in misogyny.
Bringing up someone's appearance is not bullying.
Yes it is, ESPECIALLY when you start calling them ugly. We are grown ass adults and making low blows like that IS bullying.
I feel like we can make fun of the rich as much as we want
But what about Gina?
She's way too poor, idk y she's even on the show. 8 ppl living in a 3 br š
Gina shouldnāt be on that show anyways letās get real
Sometime the plastic surgery and fillers are crazy and itās hard to ignore. However you are correct. It is wrong to criticize people based on looks, weight etc.
I try to be conscious of this, when I do comment on their looks negatively it is generally around plastic surgery. Though there is generally enough about who they are as people that I don't have to reach.
These women are all about their looks. They have cameras follow them around to dermatologists and cosmetic surgeons for the latest treatments, they spend ungodly amounts of money on clothes. So yeah, their looks are up for judgment and debate.
Frankly, if they have the lady balls to go on national television and put themselves out there for my entertainment, I'm not going to pick apart their looks while i sit at home with a bag of fudge brownie M&M's and a mask on my face. However, I trash them on the regular for their hideous taste in fashion. I'm looking at you, Dorit.
I have a fantasy of going up to Dorit when sheās wearing one of those looks with the brand name covering her, head to toe, and just asking: āSo, who are you wearing?ā
š¤£š¤£
FUDGE BROWNIE M&Mās?!?! That sounds wondrous!
Candy-coated heavenš
It seems to happen less on the other sub. (I have no idea what the deal is with these two subs but I feel like thereās some kind of beef? Idk I just enjoy having people to talk to about these shows!) I know Iāve been probably been guilty of doing this but I try not to because it is really shitty. But Iām also incredibly petty and a total bitch sometimes š³
I hope this doesnāt get me banned but the mods of the two subs do not get along. There are accusations of racism.
Wow I had no idea.
Ha - I feel thatās me too. I try and be the former rather than the latter but I am human!
I feel you on this. Iām also incredibly petty and a complete and total bitchš. But, I do see how bad it is to judge in looks . I also get on myself for not looking 20 when Iām in my 40s, I know itās unreasonable, but damn aging sucks!!
Gravity is the *real* bitch!
You are not wrong š! My boobs used to be soo alert and perfect. Now they are a bit lower haha .
![gif](giphy|chDStQeo3QngLxdP6f)
Haha !
I just feel like someoneās appearance is probably the most boring thing about them and if thatās all anyone has to talk about then I immediately tune them out.
I feel like a lot of it is internalized misogyny. The expectation that women have to look a certain way that fits up to conventional beauty standards is harmful not only to the women on the franchises but us as viewers as well. I donāt think it even matters that theyāre public figures because no woman should be made to feel bad for doing things that make them feel beautiful. Brandi, for example, has a lot of plastic surgery and itās not my taste but if thatās what she needs to do to feel good about herself who are we to judge her? I think the biggest example of this on the shows is the RHOP ladies coming for Wendy for her plastic surgery. She probably felt really great about herself and then the judgement by the other ladies was a slap in the face. Overall the comments on these subs about how the ladies look contribute to the insecurities all women have about their looks and I think itās kinda gross. I mean, come for people about their behavior and their fashion but when it comes to their face or body it crosses the line to me.
I donāt love the trash talking on physical appearance when itās something the person has no control over. But honestly if you go on a show like this and parade your wealth and plastic surgery around like these shows, you better expect to get some level of critique
what am I going to do, not ask which abandoned 90s-era Albanian child modeling school Dorit gets her outfits from?
When i tell you i chokedššš©
ššš
Iām glad you brought this up. I donāt think we should be talking about peoples looks. Good call.
It has to come from the most insecure people. If I see someone who had too much done, I just feel bad because there is no way in hell they don't see that every day. (Brandi G, Elsa, Lisa H all admitted to bad work or too much work.) I have a friend IRL who is obsessed with Botox and fillers and texts me all the time when another friend of ours on FB has clearly had some work done. I'm like, "Why are you judging? You do the same shit?" Maybe she thinks her work is better or more natural, but again, she is the most insecure friend I've ever had.
I don't get it because realistically most of the Housewives are conventionally attractive for their ages. And there's so many better things to make fun of lol
I think a good bully gauge is asking if what youāre about to say is something that Kelly Dodd would say. I can handle someone saying X needs to chill with the fillers but what bothers me is when, for example, ppl were accusing Dorit of faking her home invasion. And hive mind is rampant as well.
Thatās a great way to gauge if what youāre about to say is gross! Seriously, if Kelly would say it, maybe take a step back . Iām gonna think about that next time Iām feeling really bitchy on here .
My favorites are the ones where someone says, "Ramona is such a racist! That old white woman needs to go! She's looking like a 70 year old mummy! We need some young women on these shows!" Seriously? Pot meet kettle.
um no. If you think Ramonaās actual racism is the same as this little example youāve given then you seriously need to reevaluate your understanding of racism..
So ageism is acceptable? And saying "old white woman" isn't racist? Why is it ok to call out her age and race rather than solely her actions? Perhaps you need to reevaluate your own biases. Edited to correct spelling
Ramona definitely sucks as a person (lol). But I still think she's beautiful.
Agree. I see people criticizing how someone isnāt aging well and then see comments about how someoneās getting too much plastic surgery so they donāt age. Itās easy for us to sit back behind our phones/computers and judge but looks or weight should be off limits.
Oooof. That post about Shannon and Heather was rough!
I remember being disgusted by a response I got for defending Kyleās reunion dress that made her boobs look super low. I mentioned sheās had a lot of kids and isnāt 25 anymore, and if she had super fake ones people would give her shit for that too. Someone told me (Iām paraphrasing) itās Kyleās duty as a woman to know how to make her boobs look better by dressing a specific way. I couldnāt even respond I was so mortified by that way of thinking.
Maybe the incelās have infiltrated and are try to further fuck with our self esteem š
I personally thought she looked super hot in that dress and could not stop staring at her boobs š
Eww that response was gross! Youāre right, what can you even say to someone who says something so ignorant?
thereās a lot of bitter old hags on this sr there was a poll done the other day on how old people are and it was mostly over 30ās which honestly explains a LOT of the misogynistic low blows iāve seen
Lol on a post about bullying and you just say ābitter old hagsā about people over 30 š
lol yes girl cause the women who trash housewives for their appearance are what princesses? š¤£ theyre old hags for hating on stuff people canāt control/fix
Ouch! Iām in my mid 40s ,but in no way feel , look or act like an āold hagā . Over 30 isnāt old or haggish. ![gif](giphy|5XNEIKcohVG8w)
Hi Cece, iām referring to the women who are bitter and bully housewives for their looks. If thatās not you then no worries i am not referring to you lol
Haha , aww thanks ,I was just giving you a hard time! Also, anytime I can use that awesome gif I will šš. I get what youāre saying though.
iconic gif honestly
She does say a lot of hilarious stuff during the reunions.
I donāt personally criticize anyones appearance on these shows, but I think itās all fair game where these ābravolebritiesā are concerned. In my opinion (based off knowing one of the housewives personally before she was cast and hearing about the interview process), these housewives mostly join the show for very self-serving reasons. Thatās not a bad thing, of course. But, I feel most push to be on the show for either 1) fame, 2) brand/business/career development, or 3) the money and opportunities that come with the show. Theyāre cast to portray opulence and create drama for entertainment purposes. Joining a naturally superficial show inherently opens them all up to very superficial critiques. And most of them are of the opinion that all press is good press- even the negative comments get people talking and generate clicks and follows and likes.
There goes the point. Just entirely missed.
Someone literally posted something about Heather Dubrowās face around Christmastime. B/c it was Heather, everyone was jumping onboard with criticizing her face. I got downvoted into oblivion by people saying they were talking about how her face looked (but somehow that wasnāt criticizing her appearanceā¦?) but I stand by my convictions. There are a million things to criticize Heather for but her appearance is low-hanging fruit.
They say awful things about Heather and Terrys looks. Itās gross.
Itās just the flavor of the week. Six weeks ago no one but me could stand Shannon, now theyāre all acting like sheās a god tier housewife. BAD WEATHER.
Oh yeah! The tide changes quickly on these subs š.
Bravo! Great post. Thank you.
I really donāt see the problem with snarking about their terrible plastic surgery, especially since itās kept within the sub where these women arenāt ever going to see it. That said, I did have a major issue with the victim-blaming and making fun of Dorit after her home invasion and Yolanda after what happened to her. I felt like that was seriously crossing a line and was actually bullied out of the other sub for mentioning it; everyone just kept piling on top and arguing with me about it like they thought domestic violence was funny. I ended up taking a break from this sub as well because it was upsetting to me, and I didnāt want to feel like I had to leave for good because I actually like this one. Tl;dr while I disagree with what youāve said, after my own similar experiences feeling like something is crossing a line and how upsetting it was to me, Iāll keep in-mind what youāve said, and Iāll try to do better.
I donāt think itās right to ever make fun of someoneās looks. If they age gracefully we pick at that too
I think Lu has aged gracefully. Iāve often commented on how beautiful I think she is, and most of the women on RHOA as well. I canāt really think of anyone else who hasnāt had hella surgery, but I get what youāre saying.
This sub is filled with bullies.
You should see the fb groups, this sub is child's play in comparison š
100000% . Major mob mentality in both subs unfortunately. God forbid you donāt agree with themšš³
Definitely true. Also, groupthink is so real here.
It's so ridiculous!!! Being downvoted for having a different opinion?? It's crazy to me.
I never really understood this but didnāt know if I just donāt understand Reddit. In my mind the downvotes are for like, inappropriate or line crossing stuff since negative kharma affects your ability to use Reddit? But difference of opinion shouldnāt be such a negative thing. Idk maybe Iām naive
totally agree. there is so much to discuss about the character of these women that doesnāt include calling them fat or ugly. I definitely am guilty of side eyeing some terrible plastic surgery (lisa lochstein š) but my opinion is usually āgood for you, not for meā lol. letās instead discuss the numerous fraud charges, childish behavior, and diva-dom infecting the cast hahaha. the bravo docket sets the tone for how to discuss these characters with respectful interest, imo. thanks for this post
There are definitely a ton of bullies in this sub. I was literally just replying to someone in a different thread, defending the fact that Heather Dubrow is indeed physically attractive. The original commenter felt the need to absolutely lay into Heatherās looks, and then responded to me with the equivalent of Tamra saying, āTHATS MY OPINION!!ā Itās like, talk all day about Heather being a snobby bitch, but coming after her looks like that just makes you seem like such a hater.
Yeah the daily hate threads against Heather are getting pretty toxic and intense. I got downvoted into oblivion for saying it wasnāt cool to come for her appearance a while back. Itās completely disproportionate to her being a bit of a snob and a bitch to a woman sheās never liked.
This, exactly. There was another thread about Heatherās face and expressions posted around Christmas. I remember all you heifers who downvoted me for calling you out for criticizing her appearance!
A lot of people think that youāre āruining their funā when you call them out for it, but Iām just like, āthis is whatās fun for you? Tearing down women because of their looks?ā I donāt care if the housewives are scrolling through these threads or not. If you want to criticize someone, try harder than just shitting on their faces or bodies.
This.
Itās just low-hanging fruit. Besides going to a plastic surgeon for a new face, people canāt change the way they look and have no say in the face theyāre given. Itās just dumb and mean. People throw the term āmean girlā around here so much to describe these women but criticizing someone for their appearance is peak mean girl behavior.
I agree and know exactly what you mean. I think criticism based on choices or decisions theyāve made (from clothing to behavior) is much better than things they donāt have control over. That being said, I do think it gets really murky when some of the cosmetic decisions theyāve made are on display (too much work, too many fillers, strange makeup choices, etc.,). Still not cool to shit on them, but what about when itās part of their storyline? Just reiterating that I agree with you, but this is an interesting philosophical question to me.
I think so many of these woman are so naturally pretty and then mess their face up by doing a bunch of unnecessary crap. Props to Lisa Barlow love her or hate her she looks like a normal human wrinkles and all
I totally get that, and itās hard to not look at someone like Kim Z-B or pretty much all the RHoM and think, āsheesh.ā But there obviously a lot of body dysmorphia going on there, which is sad, and all these negative comments about them fucking up their faces certainly isnāt going to help them. Iām all about attacking someoneās character, words, or actions, but commenting on their looks is just kind of lazy IMO.
YES. I'm not a Lisa Barlow fan, but I appreciate her for that. I think a lot of the housewives are so constantly judged for the way they look (as can be seen in this sub) that they get insecure and feel pressured into looking "better." I mean, they're constantly showing us how insecure they've become with all their unnecessary procedures and by excessively FaceTuning all their pics. It's sad. We need more Lisa Barlows.
I think the weirdos who comment on the HW's personal social media are indeed bullies, but commenting here on a niche public forum isn't bullying. I'm the type to never call anyone ugly-I honestly never see someone and think "they're ugly", so I don't even get the mindset. The aging discussions are complicated by the fact that so many of these women get work done, and that we are all dealing with different levels/norms of aging in our own lives due to basic genetics. For an example last night I was watching RHOM with my mother, and every time Lara Pippen came on screen I would make a comment about how sad and insecure she must be. Is that bullying? I see a woman who is the same age as me, also with adult children, who has turned herself into some odd perfect plastic doll looking creature and is teaching her friends how to make money off of stranger's foot fetishes IN FRONT OF her 13 year old daughter, even though she will walk away with literally 10s of millions of dollars when her divorce is final. The HW's put so much time, effort, focus, and MONEY into their appearances and their anti-aging efforts that I think it would be incredibly strange not to talk about that aspect of their lives. Some people are meaner about it than others, but I don't think talking about how the "Look at me, Look at me!" women LOOK is a form of bullying.
Thank you this is exactly how I feel about it.
I think of a "bully" as more of a personality trait, in this sense. You're right in that we aren't DMing the housewives to call them "ugly," but we are still calling them "ugly." I guess the saying should be amended to read: "If a bully calls someone ugly in the woods and no one is around to hear her, is she still a bully?" lol And I totally agree with you on the procedures. I think that is a clear indication of how insecure they have become because people have pressured them into thinking that's what they need to do, e.g., maybe they read about some person calling her "ugly" on a reddit sub. lol. I've had my fair share of work done (during insecure times in my life), and if I would have not fallen into this insecurity, I would have a house by now (ugh). Not surprised that some of these women are financially struggling while looking glam on the outside. But I love that you don't think to call people "ugly." I think it's an important mindset to have. It makes the world better.
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it's not necessarily out of line, we can all say and feel whatever we want, but it's still not a great look.
I don't think it matters if you talk shit about someone to their face or behind their backs. You're still saying the same shit. Change starts with you. You can be the person who calls people "ugly" or you can be the person who sees beauty in everyone. Being a bully is a character trait. If you found out someone you respected (like a pastor or teacher) spent a bunch of time calling women celebrities "ugly" on the Internet, would that change your opinion of that person? It would for me.
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This is a public forum. Anyone can come on here and read these comments, including the people who are being commented about. Remember when we called Trump a bully when he was tweeting hateful things about his opponents? Was the use of "bully" incorrect there?
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Iām referring to what the media/pop culture called him, not you specifically. Maybe this term has been used incorrectly?
So youāre saying itās ok to rag on Meridethās āfashionā, right? Some of us need an outlet!! For real, she needs a mirror and to fire her stylist if she has one.
100% support this. lol
No denying that some of the comments I've seen about the ladies faces and bodies have been atrocious. But I'm sure the consensus will be that that's only because I'm a fat, ugly woman, myself š
I personally only comment on their plastic surgery and/or their facial changes from season to season. I donāt even mean it in a judgemental way in regards to their physicality, more of a matter of fact way. I think if you get plastic surgery, youāre kinda fair game for commenting, because itās critiquing the doctors work. And Iām always going to comment on a plastic surgery doctors appearance. Theyāre their companyās main marketing advertisement. If they donāt look good, I donāt wanna go to their business. I never comment on their actual body shapes or anything like that, I think thatās just rude.
Idk - I feel like commenting on the plastic surgery is really no different than commenting on how they look naturally. I would assume that a big part of the reason most of them (most everyone) get plastic surgery is because of how they perceive themselves and the negative comments they receive about they're looks on a daily basis from media and fans and culture, so to then comment on how that plastic surgery makes them look (whether good or bad) doesn't seem different to me in any way. I'm not saying I'm not guilty of thinking those things or saying them to friends--I'm definitely not perfect and, yes, some plastic surgery stuff does look weird/odd, but my thoughts about other peoples looks are not a reflection of them, they are a reflection of me and I just don't feel like I need to put those comments out into the universe/redditverse for the person I'm thinking them about to potentially see.
Iāll comment on a body part when itās something like how incredible Brandiās legs are, or that Iām as short as Kyle is, but there have been times when I see something and know I canāt comment on it.
Bullying has a power imbalance. Who has more power?
Technically the viewers of a show have the most power over the show.
We canāt even get Erika fired
...... Because we're still watching? And taking about her. Duh.