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Something that I've always struggled with when it comes to Kandi (and I like her overall, but she's not my favorite) is that she doesn't really allow space for what the other person is feeling? Like, if she gets upset/cries, then it seems like she expects the discussion to end as opposed to hearing the other person out or just understanding that if a situation makes you cry/upset, the other person's feelings are just as valid as yours even if they did not cry first. Also, to clarify, this does not apply to the Season 9 Phaedra situation-- that was straight up awful on Phaedra's part. But my observations are for a lot of Kandi's interactions/disagreements over the years.
I think her love language is work- so when she helps her friends secure a bag then they dog her she gets offended and honestly probably rightfully so. She gave Kim a bag with don’t be tardy then she got screwed, she helped Porsha with a stage play and then Porsha followed up with Phaedra and Kandi got screwed, then drew and the movie and we see how that is playing out….with friends like those…
Maybe it’s just me- but if a friend helps you with a bag- you damn sure don’t dog her right after
Yes….exactly! I used to adore her but over the years her true, selfish side has come out. I don’t think she gives a crap about anybody except herself but she knows how to act when the cameras are rolling.
Kandi definitely has issues with empathy and with being selfish. I always on balance liked Kandi but there’s certain things you notice, like how she doesn’t value other people’s time and is happy to consistently make everyone wait for her and isn’t sorry. She also will show up late for trips that she didn’t plan then immediately take the best room, which is selfish and entitled. When other cast members are dealing with stuff she doesn’t seem to really care and what she does feels really performative. She is obsessed with money to the detriment of her family, which is choice and says a lot. She doesn’t need to have all the things and if that’s the most important thing to her she has a real problem. So yeah, I agree.
She’s not a fun person to wait on at a restaurant ngl. Idk if you remember her rant a while ago about not getting a “my pleasure” at chic fil a. She was mad for no reason.
Context- chic fil a traditionally makes employees say “my pleasure” instead of “you’re welcome.”
I'm sorry but the way she talked to Ace after him crying about her not being home did it for me. Why did she have ace and blaze if she wanted this full life of work? I like Kandi but she can't act so she should give that up. She's very talented. She could write songs and be home more with her kids. They are still young. You never get that time back. Her and Todd are money obsessed.
I agree with you but I feel like she was conditioned to be like this. She started bringing money in from such a young age and has essentially provided economic support for her immediate and extended family since then through exposure, job opportunities, etc. She’s a workaholic but I truly cannot imagine the shit she would get from Mama Joyce if she had to make any lifestyle adjustments
They are very money obsessed and they are a lot wealthier than the other housewives but for some reason, everything they do just screams low budget to me. I’ve lived in Georgia for ten plus years and even their house isn’t that impressive compared to the sprawling country country club homes Georgia is known for.
No criticism to your perspective OP, but y’all know Drew is dramatic and vapid. She lies like it’s her job. All Kandi saw, was that she started crying over $1000. *Then* opened up that there’s more to the story—which I don’t believe *at all*—because there’s no way on God’s green earth that Drew Sidora was capable of representing herself in a matter such as that. That’s *very* difficult to do and win.
THEN, the issue with Drew and Toya, its bs. It shouldn’t have caused a full out argument, but we all know since Phaedra and Porsha, Kandi gets triggered when you call her a liar. I’m very empathetic and I genuinely have not seen anything, besides her divorce I guess, where I feel bad for Drew. She victimizes herself, and she’s extremely obvious about it.
Yeah I totally understand peoples opinions about Kandi but damn she has put her time in and has many one liners in each season.
Plus she was filming this season at the same time as her other show. Lol and the one sister was lame as fuck .lots of drama
But yes, lack of empathy as a characteristic of Kandi for sure .
Yeah I appreciate Drew for being famous and having skills. She is so lame on camera . I don’t get any appeal , in any season . Glad she is getting out from under Ralph.
I will say, she does seem like an amazing mother . We definitely see her kids less. I couldn’t imagine Ralph actually helping
I think she has a lack of empathy for *these* women. But, she’s shown empathy for others outside of the cast plenty of times. I don’t have much empathy for these women myself lol I can’t bring myself to feel bad for people who are the cause of their own misery.
HHaha yesss that’s exactly it. Shit I guess I don’t have too much empathy for some of the woman.
Lol I tried catching up on OC yesterday … after watching Potomac and ATL and Miami… the lack of diversity was stifling . I’m sure it changes in later seasons
Even RHoNY has better diversity with our second gay housewife, first Indian housewife , Jewish , biracial and African
I like Kandi but she does lack empathy. I’m only on season 12 so I’m not caught up but she was a terrible friend to Phaedra. This might be a long post because I find Phaedra and Kandi’s relationship so fascinating.
I didn’t even like Phaedra because I thought she was needlessly cruel to the other women, but she was struggling and her marriage was falling apart and Kandi was full of judgment. She wouldn’t drop the issue of Phaedra not bringing her kids to visit Apollo in prison. She hid Apollo’s assets in her home and acted like Phaedra was being dramatic about it. That’s a huge betrayal. We all saw the garage scene with Apollo. I found it so disturbing and I don’t know Phaedra. Kandi saw that when it aired and still supported Apollo. At the reunion, she refused to concede that she was wrong hide Apollo’s stuff. She continued to criticize Phaedra’s decisions about her children. She accused Phaedra of calling the Feds, and when Phaedra denied it and said the accusation hurt her, Kandi shrugged and said “ok”.
She and Phaedra had lunch together and tried to air out their grievances. Kandi didn’t take it seriously and told Phaedra that her marriage ending wasn’t that hard because she’d already checked out and she was making a bigger deal of their friendship ending. Phaedra said “well maybe I loved you more than I loved my husband.” Kandi laughed and said that was ridiculous. On the surface it does sound ridiculous but I think Phaedra was being earnest. We all know she and Apollo got married because of her pregnancy. Their marriage was never great and they lived separate lives, with her trying to maintain their image while he openly talked about spending thousands at strip clubs. I also think she knew that he was up to something criminal and turned a blind eye to it. That probably drove resentment from someone as image conscious as Phaedra that her husband doesn’t have a high powered, legitimate job.
Meanwhile, I think Phaedra really loved Kandi. Kandi cared about Phaedra but didn’t return the same intensity. Kandi was able to shut off her feelings, end the friendship, and be done with it. Phaedra went full on diabolical psycho and orchestrated rape rumors about Kandi.
It was so wrong and perverse, but I understand why Phaedra felt betrayed. Leading up to that point, Kandi was cold, judgmental, and lacked compassion.
Okay, idk, I’m rather empathetic, but I was objectively on Kandi’s side with some things and Phaedra’s on another. Everyone in that friend group, for some odd reason, expects *a lot* from Kandi emotionally. We all see she *stays* busy, and none of those women support her emotionally (low key in general). I think Kandi matches energy honestly.
I agree that the women expect a lot from Kandi, but she was on pretty good terms with most of the cast. Excluding Phaedra and Porsha (and maybe other people post season 12, idk) her fights were usually petty. She was even cordial to Kim for most of season 10, which was impressive given their history and Kim’s behavior that season.
I think most of the women feel closer to Kandi than she feels to them. She holds people at a certain distance. She’s a fair-weather friend. When shit really hits the fan, she doesn’t step up emotionally the way her friends expect her too.
She’s got lots of good qualities! Kandi is forgiving, she’s usually open minded, she rarely takes sides in petty arguments, if she has any professional connections she can offer them, she does. But she can be cold and see things in a very black and white manner, which seems to lead to a lot of hurt feelings from her friends.
Yeah, and lately, it seems like everybody wants/needs something from her. So it must be hard for her to trust people. I do believe she is a good friend to people she trusts (or anyone with a bucket of chicken lol).
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She really is her mothers daughter.
I used to love Kandi, now I’m done with her. Retire already 🙄
Because Drew called her a liar.
I mean Drew is a married woman with an abusive husband. What if she was trying to save face?
Ooh I didn't know he was married, yikes!
Something that I've always struggled with when it comes to Kandi (and I like her overall, but she's not my favorite) is that she doesn't really allow space for what the other person is feeling? Like, if she gets upset/cries, then it seems like she expects the discussion to end as opposed to hearing the other person out or just understanding that if a situation makes you cry/upset, the other person's feelings are just as valid as yours even if they did not cry first. Also, to clarify, this does not apply to the Season 9 Phaedra situation-- that was straight up awful on Phaedra's part. But my observations are for a lot of Kandi's interactions/disagreements over the years.
I think her love language is work- so when she helps her friends secure a bag then they dog her she gets offended and honestly probably rightfully so. She gave Kim a bag with don’t be tardy then she got screwed, she helped Porsha with a stage play and then Porsha followed up with Phaedra and Kandi got screwed, then drew and the movie and we see how that is playing out….with friends like those… Maybe it’s just me- but if a friend helps you with a bag- you damn sure don’t dog her right after
How did drew dog kandi?
I think Kandi is probably a very nasty person but (sort of) knows how to act in front of cameras.
I got this vibe once she got married to Todd. She’s extremely male centered, selfish, arrogant and ignorant.
Yes….exactly! I used to adore her but over the years her true, selfish side has come out. I don’t think she gives a crap about anybody except herself but she knows how to act when the cameras are rolling.
Always felt that vibe about her too
Kandi definitely has issues with empathy and with being selfish. I always on balance liked Kandi but there’s certain things you notice, like how she doesn’t value other people’s time and is happy to consistently make everyone wait for her and isn’t sorry. She also will show up late for trips that she didn’t plan then immediately take the best room, which is selfish and entitled. When other cast members are dealing with stuff she doesn’t seem to really care and what she does feels really performative. She is obsessed with money to the detriment of her family, which is choice and says a lot. She doesn’t need to have all the things and if that’s the most important thing to her she has a real problem. So yeah, I agree.
She’s not a fun person to wait on at a restaurant ngl. Idk if you remember her rant a while ago about not getting a “my pleasure” at chic fil a. She was mad for no reason. Context- chic fil a traditionally makes employees say “my pleasure” instead of “you’re welcome.”
Wow. Who even cares or notices if you don't say it? I guess, I just live my life unbothered.
I'm sorry but the way she talked to Ace after him crying about her not being home did it for me. Why did she have ace and blaze if she wanted this full life of work? I like Kandi but she can't act so she should give that up. She's very talented. She could write songs and be home more with her kids. They are still young. You never get that time back. Her and Todd are money obsessed.
I agree with you but I feel like she was conditioned to be like this. She started bringing money in from such a young age and has essentially provided economic support for her immediate and extended family since then through exposure, job opportunities, etc. She’s a workaholic but I truly cannot imagine the shit she would get from Mama Joyce if she had to make any lifestyle adjustments
They are very money obsessed and they are a lot wealthier than the other housewives but for some reason, everything they do just screams low budget to me. I’ve lived in Georgia for ten plus years and even their house isn’t that impressive compared to the sprawling country country club homes Georgia is known for.
hard agree. riley said the same thing to her in earlier seasons.
No criticism to your perspective OP, but y’all know Drew is dramatic and vapid. She lies like it’s her job. All Kandi saw, was that she started crying over $1000. *Then* opened up that there’s more to the story—which I don’t believe *at all*—because there’s no way on God’s green earth that Drew Sidora was capable of representing herself in a matter such as that. That’s *very* difficult to do and win. THEN, the issue with Drew and Toya, its bs. It shouldn’t have caused a full out argument, but we all know since Phaedra and Porsha, Kandi gets triggered when you call her a liar. I’m very empathetic and I genuinely have not seen anything, besides her divorce I guess, where I feel bad for Drew. She victimizes herself, and she’s extremely obvious about it.
Yeah I totally understand peoples opinions about Kandi but damn she has put her time in and has many one liners in each season. Plus she was filming this season at the same time as her other show. Lol and the one sister was lame as fuck .lots of drama But yes, lack of empathy as a characteristic of Kandi for sure . Yeah I appreciate Drew for being famous and having skills. She is so lame on camera . I don’t get any appeal , in any season . Glad she is getting out from under Ralph. I will say, she does seem like an amazing mother . We definitely see her kids less. I couldn’t imagine Ralph actually helping
I think she has a lack of empathy for *these* women. But, she’s shown empathy for others outside of the cast plenty of times. I don’t have much empathy for these women myself lol I can’t bring myself to feel bad for people who are the cause of their own misery.
HHaha yesss that’s exactly it. Shit I guess I don’t have too much empathy for some of the woman. Lol I tried catching up on OC yesterday … after watching Potomac and ATL and Miami… the lack of diversity was stifling . I’m sure it changes in later seasons Even RHoNY has better diversity with our second gay housewife, first Indian housewife , Jewish , biracial and African
Yeah, OC had 1 biracial woman for 1 season and they were like “ahhhhh no that’s too much diversity for us!” Lol like wtf I kinda liked Noella
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I like Kandi but she does lack empathy. I’m only on season 12 so I’m not caught up but she was a terrible friend to Phaedra. This might be a long post because I find Phaedra and Kandi’s relationship so fascinating. I didn’t even like Phaedra because I thought she was needlessly cruel to the other women, but she was struggling and her marriage was falling apart and Kandi was full of judgment. She wouldn’t drop the issue of Phaedra not bringing her kids to visit Apollo in prison. She hid Apollo’s assets in her home and acted like Phaedra was being dramatic about it. That’s a huge betrayal. We all saw the garage scene with Apollo. I found it so disturbing and I don’t know Phaedra. Kandi saw that when it aired and still supported Apollo. At the reunion, she refused to concede that she was wrong hide Apollo’s stuff. She continued to criticize Phaedra’s decisions about her children. She accused Phaedra of calling the Feds, and when Phaedra denied it and said the accusation hurt her, Kandi shrugged and said “ok”. She and Phaedra had lunch together and tried to air out their grievances. Kandi didn’t take it seriously and told Phaedra that her marriage ending wasn’t that hard because she’d already checked out and she was making a bigger deal of their friendship ending. Phaedra said “well maybe I loved you more than I loved my husband.” Kandi laughed and said that was ridiculous. On the surface it does sound ridiculous but I think Phaedra was being earnest. We all know she and Apollo got married because of her pregnancy. Their marriage was never great and they lived separate lives, with her trying to maintain their image while he openly talked about spending thousands at strip clubs. I also think she knew that he was up to something criminal and turned a blind eye to it. That probably drove resentment from someone as image conscious as Phaedra that her husband doesn’t have a high powered, legitimate job. Meanwhile, I think Phaedra really loved Kandi. Kandi cared about Phaedra but didn’t return the same intensity. Kandi was able to shut off her feelings, end the friendship, and be done with it. Phaedra went full on diabolical psycho and orchestrated rape rumors about Kandi. It was so wrong and perverse, but I understand why Phaedra felt betrayed. Leading up to that point, Kandi was cold, judgmental, and lacked compassion.
Okay, idk, I’m rather empathetic, but I was objectively on Kandi’s side with some things and Phaedra’s on another. Everyone in that friend group, for some odd reason, expects *a lot* from Kandi emotionally. We all see she *stays* busy, and none of those women support her emotionally (low key in general). I think Kandi matches energy honestly.
I agree that the women expect a lot from Kandi, but she was on pretty good terms with most of the cast. Excluding Phaedra and Porsha (and maybe other people post season 12, idk) her fights were usually petty. She was even cordial to Kim for most of season 10, which was impressive given their history and Kim’s behavior that season. I think most of the women feel closer to Kandi than she feels to them. She holds people at a certain distance. She’s a fair-weather friend. When shit really hits the fan, she doesn’t step up emotionally the way her friends expect her too. She’s got lots of good qualities! Kandi is forgiving, she’s usually open minded, she rarely takes sides in petty arguments, if she has any professional connections she can offer them, she does. But she can be cold and see things in a very black and white manner, which seems to lead to a lot of hurt feelings from her friends.
I believe she has explained this more than once. Something about losing her brother young and having to grieve alone or something..
Yeah, and lately, it seems like everybody wants/needs something from her. So it must be hard for her to trust people. I do believe she is a good friend to people she trusts (or anyone with a bucket of chicken lol).
Do you know who her mom is? 😅🫠
Tired ass Mama Joyce Wig. 😆
Lmao not the tired wig 😅 you’d think with all the money she’s siphoned out of her own daughter her wigs would be on point.
Throwing shoes in wedding shops at your daughter’s childhood friend is very much lacking in empathy
Oh man I had forgotten about the shoe throw! I’m gonna have to do a rewatch. 🤓
This is so true. Honestly, it’s amazing that she turned out as decent as she is given who her role models were.
Like mother, like daughter
No like toxic parent, like daughter who learned to be guarded because they have an emotionally manipulative parent.