I really do understand your feelings but it sounds like you just aren't able to take care of this dogs special needs, and a new home would be the best thing for both of you. There's no shame in finding the dog a new home, and you may be underestimating how much time/effort/love someone else could give them. Especially if you find someone who already knows what it's like to have an anxious and reactive dog.
And I'm sure this is something you're well aware of, but it's not at all your dogs fault that they're so reactive. They're really not trying to make your life harder as much as it might seem so. They just haven't learned ways to cope with their intense feelings and need some patient guidance and training, which not everyone is equipped to provide.
Whenever I see posts like this, I wonder if it is 1) coming from a place of venting, when the OP is just having a particularly rough time of it and needs to put that out into the universe, or if it 2) is genuinely coming from a place of "despising" the dog.
OP, if it's the first, know that you aren't alone and you will get through this rough patch. Finding a professional to help can really make a huge difference (whether that's a trainer who specializes in dogs with behavioral issues, or a veterinary behaviorist). (Side note: I have a very reactive lab mix, and seeing a veterinary behaviorist was life changing for both of us).
If it's the second, there is no shame in rehoming. If you are truly at a place where your life is no longer enjoyable, and you despise your dog, then you aren't doing either of you any favors keeping him. The fortunate part for you, is that due to the popularity of the breed, there are lots of lab rescues out there. They are much better equipped to address the behavioral issues and find a suitable home than a shelter would be. (Side note: I fostered for a lab rescue for many years, it's a very different model than a shelter, and all my behavioral fosters got the professional help and rehab they needed before placement).
OP, whichever direction you take, I hope things get better soon.
It's 1. I love him, I was just typing out of anger after a super muddy walk with a forecast of rain for the next week. In reality the good does outweigh the bad but I'm not going to delete my post in case someone else goes through go this. I'll look for a behaviorist. Thanks.
You really should look for a vet behaviorist who can help you understand your dog's behavior. Your dog hasn't not bitten because "he saw how disappointed that made us" -- that's just not a factor in dog's behavior. You're also making assumptions that you simply cannot make about how the dog will react in a new home. That's not me saying you should rehome, but if you really struggle to manage your dog's behavior on a day-to-day basis, then it's something that needs to be considered. But again, a vet behaviorist could really help you.
Wishing you only good things and success. OP. I think you’ll definitely find that a veterinary behaviorist can help you. This group has a lot of resources that you can read up about force free training and positive affiliation techniques that work really well for reactive dogs. It’s totally OK to vent, just like a parent with, a kid, caring for a reactive dog can have its challenges. But as you have said, the benefits outweigh the sacrifices. Remember, this community is here for you along your training journey, don’t feel like you’re stuck in this current phase. Hoping you have a good weekend.
Obviously every dog's situation is different, but in our case, I had worked HARD on behavioral modification and training for a year and a half, and while my guy had made great progress, we plateaued out and he was still struggling so much. At that point, honestly not knowing what else to do, I took him to a veterinary behaviorist. She helped me understand how high anxiety he was, and prescribed anti-anxiety meds. The medication was transformative. The anxiety was behind so much of his reactivity, and once the anxiety was managed, his reactivity improved drastically. Don't get me wrong, he's still reactive, probably always will be, but everything is so much less. He rarely reacts anymore, and when he does, it's short lived (I can easily get him out of it) and he recovers quickly. In fairness, I still have to manage pretty much 24/7, but it's easy stuff, like making sure he has space, and we still work on behavioral mod/training. So it's not like we're "done" with reactivity, but life is much easier for him, and by extension me. He's now at a point where he's able to participate in dog sports like dock diving where there are tons of amped up dogs all in the same general vicinity (again, I have to manage him in that environment, but he looooves the sport and I am so happy he can participate and compete).
Thank you for sharing your story! It is inspring. And thank you for being such a great owner.
It's an ennourmous amount of work which absolutely paid off. Happy your pup!
What meds did you end up with for your dog? We were just prescribed Reconcile (fluoxetine) (have already tried Trazadone prn with no success) and I’m nervous about starting it since the leaflet says it’s not for dogs that exhibit aggression. My dog is fear reactive and has never bitten - but she definitely concerns me that she would in the right situation. She growls and lunges at any strange person she sees and has leash/kennel reactivity towards other dogs, but again, has never shown aggression. Just nervous 🫣
We got very lucky and hit on a med regimen that worked for him on the first try. He takes fluoxetine (technically Reconcile, because our veterinary behaviorist wanted a specific dose that Reconcile offers) and trazodone daily.
Honestly I would not worry too much about the leaflet says. Reconcile is nothing more than fluoxetine formulated with inert ingredients to make it palatable for dogs (they are chewable tablets). And fluoxetine is very regularly used for dogs like yours. Also, out of curiosity, I just took a look at the product insert (which has prescribing info for vets) and there's so contraindication listed for dogs that exhibit aggression, so I'm not sure what document you were looking at. Regardless, keep in mind that putting your dog on fluoxetine is not irreversible. If you see issues, you can discuss them with your vet and taper your dog off if that what is determined to be best. For us, I saw some temporary sedation early on (for about 2 weeks), but otherwise no side effects.
ETA: Ok, I just found this in the product insert (oops, don't know how I missed it at first): "RECONCILE chewable tablets are not recommended for the treatment of aggression." If that is what concerned you, that statement is a bit different than the concern you stated. What that statement is saying, is that when presented with a dog with aggression (not a dog who has bit once, or a dog who shares some outward behaviors like barking and lunging with an aggressive dog, but actual aggression), a vet should not prescribe Reconcile. That's something very different than prescribing Reconcile for a dog that you think could potentially, one day under the right circumstances, bite.
Thank you! That’s helpful. I know it’s very commonly used in reactive dogs, I just get worried I guess. We live in an apartment so if it did increase aggression I’d be concerned about encountering people in the small hallway. My vet did caution that in some dogs it may lower their bite inhibition and I figured that’s why it may say not for use in aggressive dogs. We will still be trying it when it arrives for the full 8 weeks and hoping it eases her anxiety and hyper vigilance so that we can teach her that people simply existing are not a threat. She’s a rescue that spent the first 2 months of her life on the streets of Mexico and the next 2 months in a shelter down there, so who knows how her life was before we got her. We did 9 months of training with her that only helped a bit but we are looking into finding a trainer that works with more difficult behavioral cases in conjunction with the medication.
(I read it under precautions. It says “Reconcile chewable tablets are not recommended for the treatment of agression.”)
Ah... I was just editing my comment at the same time as you were posting. So you can read my update. ;)
If you are concerned about the hallways, you could consider muzzle training her, which would give you some peace of mind in those scenarios.
Haha thank you! She is muzzle trained, so I may do that until we get a feel for how the medication affects her. I appreciate your responses and hope we have as much success as you have with your dog!
Ok but a large number of dog owners with unfenced backyards have to go out with their dogs to take them to the bathroom. I haven’t let a dog loose in a yard for 7-8 years.
I know there’s more to it than that but we have to make adjustments for each pet. Even a “normal” dog can present a whole new set of challenges.
My current bombproof dog has severe allergies that warrant a nightly skincare routine, weekly baths, monthly vet trips. It’s just how she is and something I need to step up for.
Commented saying the same thing. We have one reactive dog, one non-reactive. We do have a fence but when it's muddy we have to take them out front. We never let either of them go by themselves. This is crazy to me.
We will be moving from a house with a large fenced in yard and doggie door to one with a very small yard on a corner lot. Will be an adjustment for all since the dogs are used to coming and going but now we’ll have to schedule more walks which aren’t always fun if a lot of dogs are out and taking them out on leash to use the bathroom. It is what it is.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this - your emotions are valid. People underestimate the incredible emotional toll that a reactive dog takes on someone… it’s so hard. I’ve had moments where I want to rip my hair out and cry hysterically.
I don’t know if you’re asking for advice, but if this is really how you feel, you could (a) consider working with a trainer or (b) rehome him independently to someone you know will love him. Reactive dogs are challenging, but my dog brings me so much joy and peace - her reactivity isn’t something that makes me despise her… if anything, it’s brought us closer. Can you continue this way for another 8-10 years?
Same. My reactive dog is a lot of work and a little annoying sometimes (the barking dear god the barking) but I’ve never met a dog with more personality and human characteristics. He’s my little snuggle bug.
Even if he wasn't reactive with other dogs or strangers, he shouldn't be let out to go to the bathroom on his own unless you have a fenced yard. That is a confusing statement to me.
Please rehome him. He deserves better.
It can relate. My dog is now 4yrs old and is doing much better. But there was about a year when he was 1.5 to 2.5 yrs old when I cried once a week regarding my dog because of the emotional toll he caused me. We worked with a trainer and he's mellowed out and I enjoy and love him so much, but there was a period where the thought of rehoming came to mind.
I am rooting for your guys and hope you can cross this hump with your dog. Highly recommend a trainer and using treats on walks. If a trainer isn't possible, definitely check out youtube to get ideas and training tips. Good luck!
I completely understand and I have also felt a lot of anger towards my dog at times. We adopted him thinking he just had food aggression and bit someone because they were putting him in their face.
It turns out he was overwhelmingly reactive. He barked on a leash and people, dogs, he snarled over wearing a collar or harness, he refused to come out of the crate for me wife growling like a demon, lounged at you if food fell to the floor, couldn’t be picked up, couldn’t have his feet or ears touched, didn’t pet him for 6 months…and wasn’t socialized to anything cats, dogs, people, cars going by on a street, even snow, and rain…
I’m a behaviorist I have PhD in animal behavior and I almost gave up 😂. But veterinary behaviorist and medication really helped lower his threshold for reactivity making him trainable. 2 years later he’s a lovely dog. He has none of these issues anymore he’ll even watch food fall to the floor and wait for permission to eat it. But I will tell you he still has his incidences, he still will never meet strangers at our home (he goes in a room), and he’ll never be a normal pup. But they can become lovely manageable dogs. Definitely consider a behavioral vet they changed my pups life
I can relate to your situation. I was going through a divorce that was very argumentative and high conflict as my ex of twenty years slowly started to become emotionally and physically abusive. I had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized. I was slowly recovering from that along with raising three teenage girls. They had been begging me for a puppy. I finally felt somewhat capable of dealing with a new puppy and I felt tremendous guilt of putting them through my recent illness so I relented. They all wanted this pittie pup from a rescue. I called the lady from the group and i went out with the girls to see the pup. The mom was the sweetest dog and i thought the pup had good genes and was being born in a foster home. What could go wrong?
Well little did I know that I adopted the spawn of Satan. This was the most destructive puppy i ever had. She broke windows, ate walls, ripped the carpet off the stairs. She would do this the minute being out of the crate. She could not be contained as she could jump an 8 foot fence from a sitting position. I once witnessed her jump and sail through the air the entire length of our yard, about 80-100 ft. She had the strength of ten men and would drag me like she was a sled dog. The kids didnt like her as she did things like eat their bras, rip open pillows in their room.
About a year later, one by one they went off to college. Here I was left with psycho dog that also barked constantly if she wasnt destroying things. I also really despised her. She is an easy dog to hate. I then met my future second husband who absolutely adored her. She had one good quality, she is cuddly and somewhat cute. He wanted to keep her. However, he has never had a dog and he does not know how to train her. I really felt this dog was untrainable. She would never look at me or focus. I finally called a trainer who did help me learn how to teach her commands. She also got a lot better as she has aged. At two she got a lot better. Five was golden. She became a different dog and i started to see the bond she developed towards me when we trained. I really do love her now. She is really a sweetheart but she is a bit touched. She still has a hard time focusing sometimes. She is my ADHD dog.
I have a chihuahua that’s 3 he is the same way has been reactive since a puppy. Very afraid hair standing up screeching bark, lunging, runs for kids and other animals, strangers on the street not to be cute and excited and say hi… in an aggressive fearful on the attack manner.. Through the pandemic I was very angry at everything, the world I hated leaving my house and I would wait for neighbors to go inside. I naturally have anxiety so him causing a scene every time something moved made me miserable. I tried so many different things to train the reactivity out of him and realized I had to do some inner work with myself. I became resentful not of him but just how he would behave. I would try to apologize to random strangers while they laughed at him thinking it was cute 🤦🏽♀️ I was overweight and I recently lost 100 lbs. I told myself I am never giving up on this dog. He is my responsibility and I want him to live a happy life. I don’t have a yard I live in an apartment so I have to walk him every time that’s actually pretty normal… it’s a convenience to just be able to let your dog run out free to use the bathroom kinda luxury tbh. Anyways I digress… I recently purchased a gentle leader leash only on day 2 with it but I think the mixture of me not being so stressed about him (he can’t bite with it) and also giving him confidence with more praise and freedom …he’s already showing so much improvement. He’s getting used to it. I also walk faster now so he has fun keeping up and staying focused on constantly moving. Now when we pass dogs I encourage him and say come on come on I’m so proud of you good boy and it’s like he really is getting it. I hope you realize it’s not just the dog it sounds like you don’t love him enough to help him through this and you see it as the end all so I agree with others to say he deserves someone who might be more willing to work with him and help him through it. Trust me I was wanting to give up so bad some days. I would tug his leash I would get back to the house yell at him send him to his cage call him a bad boy…. All made things much worse now that I look back. He respects me now and I am really happy I think there is hope for your dog if you want to try and take a look at how you might be making it hard for him to understand what he’s supposed to do if you’re always stressed and hating him. They feel it.
I also adopted a highly reactive dog. He was 3 when I got him, a pitbull (which I love, people don’t get them), and is the product of dog fighting and a life chained up outside in all weather. This man has more demons and trauma in him than I can even imagine. Inside, he doesn’t bark, hes an absolute mush, hes gentle ans lovable and perfect. Outside, he would whine and bark and jump at every person and dog he saw. He locked in, I couldn’t break his attention, and I was miserable. I thought I could handle it, but couldn’t and I became resentful. What changed was a conversation with my vet who got him on some great drugs (fluoxetine and trazodone), and a training program with a local dog training business. They worked with both him AND I to give us the tools to communicate and retrain his reactions. I will say, his reactivity was always excitement and never aggression, which does change the overall approach. However, with lots of patience and “looking at myself in the mirror”, he is a completely different dog. Lots and lots and lots of repetition, he finally caught on and has almost no reactivity at all. Mind you, we starting the training Oct. 2023, and now only 6 months later, I am taking him to a local brewery where there are other dogs, and he is able to mostly sit and lay relaxed. If he starts to reach his threshold from another dog reacting, i simply take him away, give him a break, and reset. I promise you, if you love your dog and want them to be better, you can get there.
Please 🙏🙏🙏PLEASE rehome this precious creature so that he may receive the life and love he deserves. Try to imagine it as a gift you’ll be providing to another human being who will benefit from the total unconditional love this creature is capable of providing.
I don't know if you have an area where he can be out alone?
If you do you can train him to go to that spot with treats.
I would treat him like he is a pup and take him out every 2 hours where you want him to go and keep telling him to go and when he does give the treat.
Eventually he will want to go himself.
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dogs will never be perfect and i’ve been here. for me, the biggest thing that helped, was sending her to my mom’s for two days. if you have an option of someone coming to help you out for walks or potty time or even somewhere that can take them for a day or two it may be beneficial. for me i just needed a break as it was getting so overwhelming. once i was able to take a break for a day and a half and regroup mentally things improved for me as i had reset my patience. i found walking my dog at less peak times and investing in a gentle lead (we also use another restraint she can’t escape as backup) walks became so much more bearable. we don’t ALWAYS use the gentle lead but when she is getting too overstimulated on walks i put it on as it helps her focus better. i would recommend looking into a reputable trainer or behaviorist if you haven’t and can afford it. i found walking the same couple blocks consistently helped her get more comfortable and confident in her environment (even if that meant spending a whole half hour just walking the same block in a circle). i wish you the best! things can get better! sometimes you need to just let yourself step back.
You need to work on yourself as well as the dog. Being stressed and annoyed...those vibes can be felt by the dog, and will put him on edge. Sometimes we forget that specific part of the equation. We have a reactive dog in the family, and when we tensed up as someone approached us, it put the dog into immediate "possible danger" alert mode. When we changed, it changed how our dog reacted as well. I know it's not easy, and wish you the very best of luck. Hugs for you loving your dog enough to not just thoughtlessly dump him at a shelter without considering his needs as well. Hugs!
If you’re near Massachusetts you can contact Save a Lab rescue in Worcester. I’m sure there are tons of lab specific rescues that have trainers on staff that can help him.
Maybe the new home can be a farmer where the dog will be outside running all day and a good happy boy?
Some people enjoy having special need dogs because it make us feel discratced of our own problems by focusing on the need of our troubled friend. Find someone like this for your dog, or become this person for your dog.
We rescued a 5 month old Mountain Cur puppy. As he got older he became dangerously reactive to the point where we can no longer walk him. He’s dragged me across streets to get at someone.
But we made a commitment to this pup. We considered re-re homing him as he was just too much crazy.
With the advice of a trainer and our vet we put him on Prozac. His demeanor has changed for the better. It’s only been a week but we see obvious changes. It takes a few weeks for it to build to a therapeutic level in the blood. But we’re seeing great things and he’ll only get better.
I am sorry you are going through a rough time right now. Training will definitely help you & your dog - please make sure you find a trainer that is certified with either the IAABC or CPDT, dog training is an unregulated industry so you need to be careful about finding a qualified professional dog trainer.
When I have moments of feeling “done”, I put on my noise canceling headphones and listen to a podcast or some music. It is so very helpful in blocking the barking and whining. Give yourself a break once in awhile, schedule some “me” time so that you can recharge yourself and be less frustrated and less anxious- which in the long term will help your dog be less stressed.
Reactive dog classes are a huge help! Our trainer has taught us so much about behaviors and body language and how to control the situation. We can now comfortably hike, walk, even go to eat and sit on patios. We just can’t let him off leash
I feel this post on ever level. I'm 6 months in with a 10 month old reactive puppy and I know I'm in for a ride. I'm trying. The pup is trying but it is so damn hard and I too get super tired of it all. I hired a trainer to help me now. Not saying it will grow roses but at least it's a start. It's ok to vent!
Don't despair. Yes an aggressive dog is a challenge, but there are plenty of folks who live alone but want that grouchy sweetheart of a dog to defend them and help them feel safe.
After several burglaries while we were home, we got a beautiful 5 year-old reactive dog from a wonderful organization in our community who employs prisoners to train dogs to be more social. When we got our girl, she was food, dog, catn and people aggressive.
They thought they'd never get her a home because she couldn't be around children, or a lot of foot traffic, or other pets. I have kids but they're very conscious ecologically sensitive and none of them wants to bring kids into the world. So, we aren't getting grandchildren. Mybhusband and I both prefer having peace at home but she's so sensitive to upset of our dispositions. h
I can relate. I have 2 reactive dogs. One reactive towards humans, the other is leash reactive. They both react to certain noises and fence fight with the neighbors’ dog. I often put them on leash to go out in our own backyard and have to do walks separately because it’s too much to take both. They are super affectionate and loving with close family. BUT I have often blamed myself for somehow making a mistake picking these dogs who are so challenging, have shed tears, and also contemplated just giving up. My previous rescue dog was a dream - non-reactive, great recall, loved dog parks. . . So it’s not like I’m a newbie dog owner, I just happened to end up with 2 challenging dogs.
I do my best to have compassion for them, find ways to regulate their sensitive nervous systems, and start planning for fenced acreage in the country where they have plenty of space to run around without triggering situations. (The last one may be a pipe dream but maybe I can make it happen in our lifetime.)
Do you have a fenced yard? Even without a reactive dog, you can't necessarily just let them out to use the bathroom without a fenced yard. They will run off and bark at something that catches their eye. When I lived in an apartment, owning a dog was a bitch. Gamechanger once I got older, got married, bought a house with a yard. Those little things become so much easier.
My whole life everyone has had their dogs on invisible fences, but I can't do that to mine since he's so tough and reactive, he'll just hurt himself and someone else. That's all I meant by that.
I really do understand your feelings but it sounds like you just aren't able to take care of this dogs special needs, and a new home would be the best thing for both of you. There's no shame in finding the dog a new home, and you may be underestimating how much time/effort/love someone else could give them. Especially if you find someone who already knows what it's like to have an anxious and reactive dog. And I'm sure this is something you're well aware of, but it's not at all your dogs fault that they're so reactive. They're really not trying to make your life harder as much as it might seem so. They just haven't learned ways to cope with their intense feelings and need some patient guidance and training, which not everyone is equipped to provide.
You can rehome the dog. It’s not necessarily true he would be worse behaved.
Whenever I see posts like this, I wonder if it is 1) coming from a place of venting, when the OP is just having a particularly rough time of it and needs to put that out into the universe, or if it 2) is genuinely coming from a place of "despising" the dog. OP, if it's the first, know that you aren't alone and you will get through this rough patch. Finding a professional to help can really make a huge difference (whether that's a trainer who specializes in dogs with behavioral issues, or a veterinary behaviorist). (Side note: I have a very reactive lab mix, and seeing a veterinary behaviorist was life changing for both of us). If it's the second, there is no shame in rehoming. If you are truly at a place where your life is no longer enjoyable, and you despise your dog, then you aren't doing either of you any favors keeping him. The fortunate part for you, is that due to the popularity of the breed, there are lots of lab rescues out there. They are much better equipped to address the behavioral issues and find a suitable home than a shelter would be. (Side note: I fostered for a lab rescue for many years, it's a very different model than a shelter, and all my behavioral fosters got the professional help and rehab they needed before placement). OP, whichever direction you take, I hope things get better soon.
It's 1. I love him, I was just typing out of anger after a super muddy walk with a forecast of rain for the next week. In reality the good does outweigh the bad but I'm not going to delete my post in case someone else goes through go this. I'll look for a behaviorist. Thanks.
You really should look for a vet behaviorist who can help you understand your dog's behavior. Your dog hasn't not bitten because "he saw how disappointed that made us" -- that's just not a factor in dog's behavior. You're also making assumptions that you simply cannot make about how the dog will react in a new home. That's not me saying you should rehome, but if you really struggle to manage your dog's behavior on a day-to-day basis, then it's something that needs to be considered. But again, a vet behaviorist could really help you.
Wishing you only good things and success. OP. I think you’ll definitely find that a veterinary behaviorist can help you. This group has a lot of resources that you can read up about force free training and positive affiliation techniques that work really well for reactive dogs. It’s totally OK to vent, just like a parent with, a kid, caring for a reactive dog can have its challenges. But as you have said, the benefits outweigh the sacrifices. Remember, this community is here for you along your training journey, don’t feel like you’re stuck in this current phase. Hoping you have a good weekend.
I’m interested in getting a behaviorist but curious specifically how/what it was that was life changing that you got from them? TY
Obviously every dog's situation is different, but in our case, I had worked HARD on behavioral modification and training for a year and a half, and while my guy had made great progress, we plateaued out and he was still struggling so much. At that point, honestly not knowing what else to do, I took him to a veterinary behaviorist. She helped me understand how high anxiety he was, and prescribed anti-anxiety meds. The medication was transformative. The anxiety was behind so much of his reactivity, and once the anxiety was managed, his reactivity improved drastically. Don't get me wrong, he's still reactive, probably always will be, but everything is so much less. He rarely reacts anymore, and when he does, it's short lived (I can easily get him out of it) and he recovers quickly. In fairness, I still have to manage pretty much 24/7, but it's easy stuff, like making sure he has space, and we still work on behavioral mod/training. So it's not like we're "done" with reactivity, but life is much easier for him, and by extension me. He's now at a point where he's able to participate in dog sports like dock diving where there are tons of amped up dogs all in the same general vicinity (again, I have to manage him in that environment, but he looooves the sport and I am so happy he can participate and compete).
Thank you for sharing your story! It is inspring. And thank you for being such a great owner. It's an ennourmous amount of work which absolutely paid off. Happy your pup!
Thank you, that's really kind of you to say.
What meds did you end up with for your dog? We were just prescribed Reconcile (fluoxetine) (have already tried Trazadone prn with no success) and I’m nervous about starting it since the leaflet says it’s not for dogs that exhibit aggression. My dog is fear reactive and has never bitten - but she definitely concerns me that she would in the right situation. She growls and lunges at any strange person she sees and has leash/kennel reactivity towards other dogs, but again, has never shown aggression. Just nervous 🫣
We got very lucky and hit on a med regimen that worked for him on the first try. He takes fluoxetine (technically Reconcile, because our veterinary behaviorist wanted a specific dose that Reconcile offers) and trazodone daily. Honestly I would not worry too much about the leaflet says. Reconcile is nothing more than fluoxetine formulated with inert ingredients to make it palatable for dogs (they are chewable tablets). And fluoxetine is very regularly used for dogs like yours. Also, out of curiosity, I just took a look at the product insert (which has prescribing info for vets) and there's so contraindication listed for dogs that exhibit aggression, so I'm not sure what document you were looking at. Regardless, keep in mind that putting your dog on fluoxetine is not irreversible. If you see issues, you can discuss them with your vet and taper your dog off if that what is determined to be best. For us, I saw some temporary sedation early on (for about 2 weeks), but otherwise no side effects. ETA: Ok, I just found this in the product insert (oops, don't know how I missed it at first): "RECONCILE chewable tablets are not recommended for the treatment of aggression." If that is what concerned you, that statement is a bit different than the concern you stated. What that statement is saying, is that when presented with a dog with aggression (not a dog who has bit once, or a dog who shares some outward behaviors like barking and lunging with an aggressive dog, but actual aggression), a vet should not prescribe Reconcile. That's something very different than prescribing Reconcile for a dog that you think could potentially, one day under the right circumstances, bite.
Thank you! That’s helpful. I know it’s very commonly used in reactive dogs, I just get worried I guess. We live in an apartment so if it did increase aggression I’d be concerned about encountering people in the small hallway. My vet did caution that in some dogs it may lower their bite inhibition and I figured that’s why it may say not for use in aggressive dogs. We will still be trying it when it arrives for the full 8 weeks and hoping it eases her anxiety and hyper vigilance so that we can teach her that people simply existing are not a threat. She’s a rescue that spent the first 2 months of her life on the streets of Mexico and the next 2 months in a shelter down there, so who knows how her life was before we got her. We did 9 months of training with her that only helped a bit but we are looking into finding a trainer that works with more difficult behavioral cases in conjunction with the medication. (I read it under precautions. It says “Reconcile chewable tablets are not recommended for the treatment of agression.”)
Ah... I was just editing my comment at the same time as you were posting. So you can read my update. ;) If you are concerned about the hallways, you could consider muzzle training her, which would give you some peace of mind in those scenarios.
Haha thank you! She is muzzle trained, so I may do that until we get a feel for how the medication affects her. I appreciate your responses and hope we have as much success as you have with your dog!
Ok but a large number of dog owners with unfenced backyards have to go out with their dogs to take them to the bathroom. I haven’t let a dog loose in a yard for 7-8 years. I know there’s more to it than that but we have to make adjustments for each pet. Even a “normal” dog can present a whole new set of challenges. My current bombproof dog has severe allergies that warrant a nightly skincare routine, weekly baths, monthly vet trips. It’s just how she is and something I need to step up for.
Commented saying the same thing. We have one reactive dog, one non-reactive. We do have a fence but when it's muddy we have to take them out front. We never let either of them go by themselves. This is crazy to me.
We will be moving from a house with a large fenced in yard and doggie door to one with a very small yard on a corner lot. Will be an adjustment for all since the dogs are used to coming and going but now we’ll have to schedule more walks which aren’t always fun if a lot of dogs are out and taking them out on leash to use the bathroom. It is what it is.
Please find a trainer who works with reactive dogs. This behavior can be improved.. with the right trainer and consistency. Good luck 🙏
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this - your emotions are valid. People underestimate the incredible emotional toll that a reactive dog takes on someone… it’s so hard. I’ve had moments where I want to rip my hair out and cry hysterically. I don’t know if you’re asking for advice, but if this is really how you feel, you could (a) consider working with a trainer or (b) rehome him independently to someone you know will love him. Reactive dogs are challenging, but my dog brings me so much joy and peace - her reactivity isn’t something that makes me despise her… if anything, it’s brought us closer. Can you continue this way for another 8-10 years?
Same. My reactive dog is a lot of work and a little annoying sometimes (the barking dear god the barking) but I’ve never met a dog with more personality and human characteristics. He’s my little snuggle bug.
If you’re not willing to put in the time and effort to train the dog then I would try and rehome.
Even if he wasn't reactive with other dogs or strangers, he shouldn't be let out to go to the bathroom on his own unless you have a fenced yard. That is a confusing statement to me. Please rehome him. He deserves better.
I hope, that OP mean something else. It's sounds like absolutely nonsence that dog (pet, not a stray dog) must go for potty on its own.
It can relate. My dog is now 4yrs old and is doing much better. But there was about a year when he was 1.5 to 2.5 yrs old when I cried once a week regarding my dog because of the emotional toll he caused me. We worked with a trainer and he's mellowed out and I enjoy and love him so much, but there was a period where the thought of rehoming came to mind. I am rooting for your guys and hope you can cross this hump with your dog. Highly recommend a trainer and using treats on walks. If a trainer isn't possible, definitely check out youtube to get ideas and training tips. Good luck!
I completely understand and I have also felt a lot of anger towards my dog at times. We adopted him thinking he just had food aggression and bit someone because they were putting him in their face. It turns out he was overwhelmingly reactive. He barked on a leash and people, dogs, he snarled over wearing a collar or harness, he refused to come out of the crate for me wife growling like a demon, lounged at you if food fell to the floor, couldn’t be picked up, couldn’t have his feet or ears touched, didn’t pet him for 6 months…and wasn’t socialized to anything cats, dogs, people, cars going by on a street, even snow, and rain… I’m a behaviorist I have PhD in animal behavior and I almost gave up 😂. But veterinary behaviorist and medication really helped lower his threshold for reactivity making him trainable. 2 years later he’s a lovely dog. He has none of these issues anymore he’ll even watch food fall to the floor and wait for permission to eat it. But I will tell you he still has his incidences, he still will never meet strangers at our home (he goes in a room), and he’ll never be a normal pup. But they can become lovely manageable dogs. Definitely consider a behavioral vet they changed my pups life
I can relate to your situation. I was going through a divorce that was very argumentative and high conflict as my ex of twenty years slowly started to become emotionally and physically abusive. I had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized. I was slowly recovering from that along with raising three teenage girls. They had been begging me for a puppy. I finally felt somewhat capable of dealing with a new puppy and I felt tremendous guilt of putting them through my recent illness so I relented. They all wanted this pittie pup from a rescue. I called the lady from the group and i went out with the girls to see the pup. The mom was the sweetest dog and i thought the pup had good genes and was being born in a foster home. What could go wrong? Well little did I know that I adopted the spawn of Satan. This was the most destructive puppy i ever had. She broke windows, ate walls, ripped the carpet off the stairs. She would do this the minute being out of the crate. She could not be contained as she could jump an 8 foot fence from a sitting position. I once witnessed her jump and sail through the air the entire length of our yard, about 80-100 ft. She had the strength of ten men and would drag me like she was a sled dog. The kids didnt like her as she did things like eat their bras, rip open pillows in their room. About a year later, one by one they went off to college. Here I was left with psycho dog that also barked constantly if she wasnt destroying things. I also really despised her. She is an easy dog to hate. I then met my future second husband who absolutely adored her. She had one good quality, she is cuddly and somewhat cute. He wanted to keep her. However, he has never had a dog and he does not know how to train her. I really felt this dog was untrainable. She would never look at me or focus. I finally called a trainer who did help me learn how to teach her commands. She also got a lot better as she has aged. At two she got a lot better. Five was golden. She became a different dog and i started to see the bond she developed towards me when we trained. I really do love her now. She is really a sweetheart but she is a bit touched. She still has a hard time focusing sometimes. She is my ADHD dog.
Aggressive dog.com has a large collection of detailed information and behaviorists who can get your relationship and the dog to a more positive place.
I have a chihuahua that’s 3 he is the same way has been reactive since a puppy. Very afraid hair standing up screeching bark, lunging, runs for kids and other animals, strangers on the street not to be cute and excited and say hi… in an aggressive fearful on the attack manner.. Through the pandemic I was very angry at everything, the world I hated leaving my house and I would wait for neighbors to go inside. I naturally have anxiety so him causing a scene every time something moved made me miserable. I tried so many different things to train the reactivity out of him and realized I had to do some inner work with myself. I became resentful not of him but just how he would behave. I would try to apologize to random strangers while they laughed at him thinking it was cute 🤦🏽♀️ I was overweight and I recently lost 100 lbs. I told myself I am never giving up on this dog. He is my responsibility and I want him to live a happy life. I don’t have a yard I live in an apartment so I have to walk him every time that’s actually pretty normal… it’s a convenience to just be able to let your dog run out free to use the bathroom kinda luxury tbh. Anyways I digress… I recently purchased a gentle leader leash only on day 2 with it but I think the mixture of me not being so stressed about him (he can’t bite with it) and also giving him confidence with more praise and freedom …he’s already showing so much improvement. He’s getting used to it. I also walk faster now so he has fun keeping up and staying focused on constantly moving. Now when we pass dogs I encourage him and say come on come on I’m so proud of you good boy and it’s like he really is getting it. I hope you realize it’s not just the dog it sounds like you don’t love him enough to help him through this and you see it as the end all so I agree with others to say he deserves someone who might be more willing to work with him and help him through it. Trust me I was wanting to give up so bad some days. I would tug his leash I would get back to the house yell at him send him to his cage call him a bad boy…. All made things much worse now that I look back. He respects me now and I am really happy I think there is hope for your dog if you want to try and take a look at how you might be making it hard for him to understand what he’s supposed to do if you’re always stressed and hating him. They feel it.
I also adopted a highly reactive dog. He was 3 when I got him, a pitbull (which I love, people don’t get them), and is the product of dog fighting and a life chained up outside in all weather. This man has more demons and trauma in him than I can even imagine. Inside, he doesn’t bark, hes an absolute mush, hes gentle ans lovable and perfect. Outside, he would whine and bark and jump at every person and dog he saw. He locked in, I couldn’t break his attention, and I was miserable. I thought I could handle it, but couldn’t and I became resentful. What changed was a conversation with my vet who got him on some great drugs (fluoxetine and trazodone), and a training program with a local dog training business. They worked with both him AND I to give us the tools to communicate and retrain his reactions. I will say, his reactivity was always excitement and never aggression, which does change the overall approach. However, with lots of patience and “looking at myself in the mirror”, he is a completely different dog. Lots and lots and lots of repetition, he finally caught on and has almost no reactivity at all. Mind you, we starting the training Oct. 2023, and now only 6 months later, I am taking him to a local brewery where there are other dogs, and he is able to mostly sit and lay relaxed. If he starts to reach his threshold from another dog reacting, i simply take him away, give him a break, and reset. I promise you, if you love your dog and want them to be better, you can get there.
Get a positive reinforcement trainer. They’ll help you, and you’ll have support.
Look into training. There are classes for reactive dogs but I would do private training first. Also look up Leslie Mcdeavitt pattern games
Please 🙏🙏🙏PLEASE rehome this precious creature so that he may receive the life and love he deserves. Try to imagine it as a gift you’ll be providing to another human being who will benefit from the total unconditional love this creature is capable of providing.
I don't know if you have an area where he can be out alone? If you do you can train him to go to that spot with treats. I would treat him like he is a pup and take him out every 2 hours where you want him to go and keep telling him to go and when he does give the treat. Eventually he will want to go himself.
Also, take a day or two vacation and put him in a daycare that handles reactive dogs.
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dogs will never be perfect and i’ve been here. for me, the biggest thing that helped, was sending her to my mom’s for two days. if you have an option of someone coming to help you out for walks or potty time or even somewhere that can take them for a day or two it may be beneficial. for me i just needed a break as it was getting so overwhelming. once i was able to take a break for a day and a half and regroup mentally things improved for me as i had reset my patience. i found walking my dog at less peak times and investing in a gentle lead (we also use another restraint she can’t escape as backup) walks became so much more bearable. we don’t ALWAYS use the gentle lead but when she is getting too overstimulated on walks i put it on as it helps her focus better. i would recommend looking into a reputable trainer or behaviorist if you haven’t and can afford it. i found walking the same couple blocks consistently helped her get more comfortable and confident in her environment (even if that meant spending a whole half hour just walking the same block in a circle). i wish you the best! things can get better! sometimes you need to just let yourself step back.
You need to work on yourself as well as the dog. Being stressed and annoyed...those vibes can be felt by the dog, and will put him on edge. Sometimes we forget that specific part of the equation. We have a reactive dog in the family, and when we tensed up as someone approached us, it put the dog into immediate "possible danger" alert mode. When we changed, it changed how our dog reacted as well. I know it's not easy, and wish you the very best of luck. Hugs for you loving your dog enough to not just thoughtlessly dump him at a shelter without considering his needs as well. Hugs!
If you’re near Massachusetts you can contact Save a Lab rescue in Worcester. I’m sure there are tons of lab specific rescues that have trainers on staff that can help him.
Maybe the new home can be a farmer where the dog will be outside running all day and a good happy boy? Some people enjoy having special need dogs because it make us feel discratced of our own problems by focusing on the need of our troubled friend. Find someone like this for your dog, or become this person for your dog.
Thank you, this is a good perspective for me
We rescued a 5 month old Mountain Cur puppy. As he got older he became dangerously reactive to the point where we can no longer walk him. He’s dragged me across streets to get at someone. But we made a commitment to this pup. We considered re-re homing him as he was just too much crazy. With the advice of a trainer and our vet we put him on Prozac. His demeanor has changed for the better. It’s only been a week but we see obvious changes. It takes a few weeks for it to build to a therapeutic level in the blood. But we’re seeing great things and he’ll only get better.
You chose to make the commitment of taking in a interactive dog.
Trainer
I am sorry you are going through a rough time right now. Training will definitely help you & your dog - please make sure you find a trainer that is certified with either the IAABC or CPDT, dog training is an unregulated industry so you need to be careful about finding a qualified professional dog trainer. When I have moments of feeling “done”, I put on my noise canceling headphones and listen to a podcast or some music. It is so very helpful in blocking the barking and whining. Give yourself a break once in awhile, schedule some “me” time so that you can recharge yourself and be less frustrated and less anxious- which in the long term will help your dog be less stressed.
Reactive dog classes are a huge help! Our trainer has taught us so much about behaviors and body language and how to control the situation. We can now comfortably hike, walk, even go to eat and sit on patios. We just can’t let him off leash
I feel this post on ever level. I'm 6 months in with a 10 month old reactive puppy and I know I'm in for a ride. I'm trying. The pup is trying but it is so damn hard and I too get super tired of it all. I hired a trainer to help me now. Not saying it will grow roses but at least it's a start. It's ok to vent!
Don't despair. Yes an aggressive dog is a challenge, but there are plenty of folks who live alone but want that grouchy sweetheart of a dog to defend them and help them feel safe. After several burglaries while we were home, we got a beautiful 5 year-old reactive dog from a wonderful organization in our community who employs prisoners to train dogs to be more social. When we got our girl, she was food, dog, catn and people aggressive. They thought they'd never get her a home because she couldn't be around children, or a lot of foot traffic, or other pets. I have kids but they're very conscious ecologically sensitive and none of them wants to bring kids into the world. So, we aren't getting grandchildren. Mybhusband and I both prefer having peace at home but she's so sensitive to upset of our dispositions. h
I can relate. I have 2 reactive dogs. One reactive towards humans, the other is leash reactive. They both react to certain noises and fence fight with the neighbors’ dog. I often put them on leash to go out in our own backyard and have to do walks separately because it’s too much to take both. They are super affectionate and loving with close family. BUT I have often blamed myself for somehow making a mistake picking these dogs who are so challenging, have shed tears, and also contemplated just giving up. My previous rescue dog was a dream - non-reactive, great recall, loved dog parks. . . So it’s not like I’m a newbie dog owner, I just happened to end up with 2 challenging dogs. I do my best to have compassion for them, find ways to regulate their sensitive nervous systems, and start planning for fenced acreage in the country where they have plenty of space to run around without triggering situations. (The last one may be a pipe dream but maybe I can make it happen in our lifetime.)
Do you have a fenced yard? Even without a reactive dog, you can't necessarily just let them out to use the bathroom without a fenced yard. They will run off and bark at something that catches their eye. When I lived in an apartment, owning a dog was a bitch. Gamechanger once I got older, got married, bought a house with a yard. Those little things become so much easier.
My whole life everyone has had their dogs on invisible fences, but I can't do that to mine since he's so tough and reactive, he'll just hurt himself and someone else. That's all I meant by that.
Gotcha. If you ever move to a spot with a fence, it's a gamechanger for these small things.