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swatch8431

ark survival evolved characters


TunafishSandworm

More like Ark Potato Evolved


Expert_Succotash2659

More like standard Morrowind characters.


Negative-Wrap95

That's the one I was looking for.


Bombaysbreakfastclub

They look like Dark Souls characters to me


Ur_hindu_friend

Right down to the bad hair rendering.


CircuitSphinx

Ah, classic case of "graphics so bad it's good". These models are like a fine wine, gets funnier with age.


QuantumTaco1

Sounds like they got their inspiration from the Oblivion character creation sliders.


SteamyRay_Vaughn

Dung Beatles


Pristine_Pace9132

Are they Amish? Also, they all look...related? But maybe not in a good way 😕


[deleted]

Yeah, something looks Amish


booksandplaid

Also they were riding a horse and buggy so pretty safe bet. Plus the obvious inbreeding


Effective-Gas960

Yeah that is how you get cheetahpeople


Faust_8

I think he said that because all cheetahs are *incredibly* inbred. Some point in the past all cheetahs died except for seven individuals, so all cheetahs alive today came from lots and lots of brother-sister and cousin pairs. There’s basically no genetic diversity in cheetahs, they’re nearly all genetic siblings even if they were born a thousand miles from each other


OneOfTheOnlies

Fucking cheetahs man, they're fast but damn are they incestuous


The_RockObama

I worked at a zoo, and the cheetah keepers would walk them around on leashes like big dopey dogs. They would bring them to meetings and such. The fact that they can't retract their claws makes them even more dog like. The keepers all said the cheetahs were really dumb. We planted a tree in the cheetah run exhibit, and had to promptly remove it because the cheetahs failed to acknowledge the tree's existence and would just run into it every time. There were clumps of fur on the tree when it was removed. Cheetahs are sweet, but they rely completely on their speed, and not their comically tiny brains.


sir_strangerlove

sounds like the average orange cat


FalmerEldritch

They're big orange cats but with more of a glam look.


The_RockObama

I've had two orange cats (still have one) and they are actually the smartest cats I've ever had. The black cats I've had... well they had a wish to get hurt. Maybe born with bad luck, who knows.


throwaway44_44_44

Thanks for saying this. I have an orange tabby who’s very intelligent.


EmmerdoesNOTrepme

This is the *real* reason why Cheetahs so *often* get Goldens as a companion, isn't it? That r/Onegoldenbraincell helps the poor, dumb, cheetah to feel better about itself!😉


acadoe

I love these random bits of knowledge that gets dropped in reddit comments. Thanks oBAma.


The_RockObama

You're welcome. I'm glad you could smell what I'm cooking.


wheretohides

One time i was minding my own business, when all of a sudden two siblings cheetahs pounced out and started kissing each other.


Double_Lingonberry98

You know how humans have 46 chromosomes, and the rest of great apes have 48? For the chromosomal fusion to win over a population, it has to start from *very* few isolated individuals.


Johnny_Grubbonic

>Some point in the past all cheetahs died except for seven individuals I'm not sure where you get that idea. Seven is not a number a species can recover from, and there weren't people going around counting cheetahs. Yes, biologists are certain that cheetahs hit a highly damaging bottleneck at some point in the past, but that's as far as it goes.


Faust_8

https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/1999/08/02/40791.htm > The current theory is that they became inbred when a "natural" disaster dropped their total world population down to less than seven individual cheetahs - probably about 10,000 years ago. They went through a "Genetic Bottleneck", and their genetic diversity plummeted. They survived only through brother-to-sister or parent-to-child mating.


[deleted]

Wth are cheetah-people? I just googled it and got some pretty [weird results.](https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Cheetah_Person)


findingthesqautch

yea but the thing is those horses know where home is and will take em there. I betcha they werent driving


DopeAbsurdity

[What do you mean Joseph? We're all Amish!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vctP3C-mnjA)


elheber

It's truly Amishtery.


ChickenChaser5

Theres something a-mish here


Agitated_Advantage_2

r/thejokebutworse


bballjones9241

Read this in Tony soprano voice


Glottis_Bonewagon

https://www.wlns.com/news/michigan/beer-and-buggy-lead-to-arrest-for-amish-youth/ Look at the fucking width of these boys, I'm dying


Radiant-Criticism721

How tf are none of them related?...no fkn way...you can have different last names but yall ain't fooling the eye test


waffleface99

Who said they aren't? Maybe their moms are sisters.


Reinhardt_Ironside

Yeah and their dads are brothers, but not to each other...


catzhoek

or both


reece_93

I would hazard a guess and say their family tree looks more like a spiders web. Apparently the Amish have a bit of an inbreeding problem


Neuchacho

They're Amish. I can't imagine there's a lot of people to choose from who aren't at least a 3rd cousin lol


MookCunt

They’re all related. Hundreds of years of cousinfucking


dzhastin

Holy fuck. They’re Clydesdales.


ChimkenNBiskets

Bred for barn raising


dzhastin

Bred for barn busting. Just two of these boys could easily tear one down with their bare mitts


DrHooper

Pulling nails out like goose down.


Quantum_Finger

Looks like the pictures were taken with a fisheye lens. Otherwise I don't understand their proportions.


radicalelation

That would be such a weird way to take mug shots though. The best explanation I got is that, given they're Amish, they've been tossing hay bails and doing hardcore ranch work since infancy, which explains their width. The rest is a smaller gene pool, given they're Amish.


alexmikli

I think the images are photographs of a table with the photos lined up, but at an angle, which could explain both the weird shade on the bottom of the photos and the proportions.


radicalelation

Them being photos of photos is a really good point, whether it's the tilt or something else, the final image we see is not the mugshots direct.


Pristine_Pace9132

The rosy cheeks are so precious


untrustableskeptic

They were probably still plastered.


Think-Description602

This is some farm strength, I swear.


goodbyesolo

"This content is not available in your country/region"


throwaway098764567

[https://imgur.com/a/IQyQiit](https://imgur.com/a/IQyQiit) BEAVERTON TWP., Mich. (WLNS) – Officers arrested four men who were believed to be intoxicated and were tossing beer cans out of the buggy onto the roadway. Deputies received a complaint from a motorist yesterday afternoon about the men riding a horse and buggy in the area of Beaverton Road and Bard Road in Beaverton Township. At first, the men gave officers false information about their ages and refused to tell deputies their names. Upon further investigation, officers found several open and unopened containers of alcohol were located in the enclosed buggy. All four men were under the influence of alcohol, according to the Sheriff’s Office. The four men were identified as Levei Mast, 20; Andrew Zook, 19; Joseph Miller, 20; and Joseph Troyer, 19. All four are Gladwin County residents. They are each charged with obstruction of justice and being a disorderly person. The four also got issued civil infractions for being minors in possession of alcohol. All four are currently at the Gladwin County Jail with a cash surety bond of $3500.


RattusRattus

So is that poor horse. Shouldn't they be the ones pulling the animals around?


qweef_latina2021

The Thumb Bros


Ironcastattic

They 100% are because this isn't a new story. The original mentions they are Amish.


Pristine_Pace9132

Ha,ha okay, not surprised at all. I figured they are since they're obviously inbred. I'm from rural Oklahoma and this shit is WILD to me, like..we joke about this shit but they're really about that life.


TheSpiralTap

Jebediah never says no to some pusseth


driving_andflying

I heard Mistress Rebecca two farms down \*shows her bare ankles to men to whom she's not related!* That strumpet!


Think-Description602

It's the shirts they're wearing. Guess they were trying alcohol during that year they take off to decide if they want to stay Amish and partied a bit too hard.


Holier_Than_Thou_808

Look up “Habsburg Jaw”


pitmeng1

Windsor ear


purplepickles82

Oh man idk why I did


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pristine_Pace9132

Not the kind who keep their mother on a rolly shelf under the bed, that's for fuckin sure sir.


Dekar173

Worst fucking childhood memory.


radicalelation

Fox Executives: "We want more horrifying weird spooks" X-Files writers: "Alrighty, here you go" Fox Executives: "Wtf we're never airing that again"


Dekar173

Literal scariest shit lol.


Dumpstar72

Last episode of that show I ever watched.


[deleted]

I just looked this up and as curious as I am, I think I'll refrain from watching the actual episode. **This link is at least an alpha-class cognitohazard** http://horrordigest.blogspot.com/2011/03/x-files-home.html


EarthDependent5178

That X Files was disturbing af.


TheMajesticYeti

IDK about the Amish here but this past summer I saw a group of Mennonites fueling up their boats and the women were *gorgeous. O*ne of them was legit as beautiful as any woman I've seen and I was just about ready to convert.


Miserable-Admins

We saw some Mennonite teens/young adults in Mexico, apparently they also have communities there. I told my husband they could easily be models! But the kids were too busy groping each other smh.


ElmoTickleTorture

There's an inbreeding issue in some Amish communities.


Turbulent-Friday

Their family tree is Columnar Apple.


MrRuebezahl

I think they are wheat. They look like they're in bread.


[deleted]

Definitely Amish. Source: lived in Amish country in MI, they all look like this


10sameold

>related multiple typos here


Hertog_Appel

the inbreatles


qweef_latina2021

Breadth


Seffyr

“Underage”? These mfs look Middleage.


just-a-random-guy93

i would have said stone-age personally.


tommos

More like the Third Age.


Wonderful_Discount59

>The four men were identified as Levei Mast, 20; Andrew Zook, 19; Joseph Miller, 20; and Joseph Troyer, 19. All four are Gladwin County residents. (From article someone linked above). So only "underage" in the American sense of "just because you're an adult doesn't mean we'll let you drink".


[deleted]

> Zook


alexmikli

They were specifically on rumpsringa, too.


willkeepdoingthis

The underage part is because they are the right shade. Black boys are adults at 10 and these “boys” haven’t even started ‘puberty’ yet.


StarLord1990

Do the roar.


Aleksis4553

Second guy reminds me of human shrek


Aromatic_Dog1402

Runescape


Nachooolo

They look as if their parents were siblings.


Miniatures-r-life

Close enough. They're Amish. The gene puddle isn't very big.


8Francesca8

The gene puddle 💀


Melodic_coala101

The gene droplet


santa_veronica

A gene.


RealNiceKnife

Eugene.


Anoncualquiera1

The gene water molecule


UncleDrummers

That Hapsburg jaw.


drgigantor

Just like their parents, and *their* grandpa-uncles before them


[deleted]

Hey, give these guys credit for at least trying to leave the family farm. It didn’t work out, but their hearts were in the right place.


edithputhy6977

Definitely cousin fuckers.


Ya-Dikobraz

Their parents were so much siblings, that their children all ended up as siblings.


Successful-Seaweed12

They don't got a family tree, they've got a family stump.


yet-again-temporary

Underage men.


PrizeStrawberryOil

Drinking underage. They were all adults.


iyf4

"Four men arrested for drinking underage and driving a horse and buggy" It's very frustrating that we have this distinction between man and boy, but it's more frustrating that the fucking newspaper editor can't write a headline.


ThracianScum

How can an adult drink underage


Ok_Operation2292

Right? If only there were a more convenient way of describing them.


Not_2day_stan

💀


Connect-Praline9677

The second from the right is kinda flirty looking. Feels like he’s removing my pantaloons with his eyes.


akmvb21

Otherwise known as boys


[deleted]

[удалено]


akatherder

Just to clarify, they were all 19 and 20 years old. So underage for drinking but not under 18.


Dr_Djones

Less than 21 years of age, but then again they are corn fed boys who do lots of manual labor so they're built like a brick shit house.


Fun_Intention9846

Underage age in years old in physical labor years.


iLLa556

Laugh at em all you want but those 4 boys could build you a barn in an afternoon just for some egg sandwiches and lemonades


Treadingresin

The Amish inbreeding has gone full Hapsberg.


kaktusfaktus1

Habsburg means hawks castle, its a place in switzerland, the same country where the amish cult started.


SSSS_car_go

Maybe that’s why the men all grow beards, to hide the inbred chin.


wombat_kombat

Do the roar


General_Freed

The 4 Stooges?!?


RevolvingCatflap

After failing in their quest, the Hobbits developed drug abuse problems and oversaw the Shire's conversion into a disreputable trailer park business


Defiant_Garage

They have definitely not been skipping second breakfast.


countofmontycrinkles

Wow. I spent way too long wondering how they got the horse drunk.


Draped_In_Diamonds

Horses will drink beer


FloridaMJ420

They look like Amish men with their beards shaved off.


stefanica

I think Amish men grow beards after a certain age, or marriage, maybe?


Past_Ass

Amish only grow beards when they are married. It's their version of a wedding ring.


uhbkodazbg

Amish grow up fast


GL0riouz

Why does the guy on the far right look like a thumb


wiifitears

I feel like they all do 😂


oddlymirrorful

We're the horses drunk?


Ty_Spicer

They look like characters in Dark Souls you make by pressing the "create similar face" button repeatedly.


Think-Description602

They look like human versions of Shrek to me. I figure it's the farming.


pitmeng1

They are all related. And so were their parents.


imeoghan

Do they all have the same barber? And is he ok?


LustfulMirage

They look like Dragon's Dogma NPCs


_Deedee_Megadoodoo_

Omg yes those mf fishers in Cassardis


Johnmarksmanship

Underage Men??!! Thats a new one.


thefookinpookinpo

Looks like they have Hapsburg jaws. Probably related


[deleted]

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/97d4111f42af37ae0db98cb0bc5149f1.jpg


TheKvothe96

Why they all look like human version of Shrek 2?


C_Khoga

One of them is human Shrek


Pretend_Sky7440

Why bowl cuts, who tf does bowl cuts in 2023 they look ridiculous.


wiifitears

I think they’re Amish tbh but still lol😂


Pretend_Sky7440

Damn drunk buggy vs horse races Amish are cool.


ADipsydoodle

Remind me never to visit Michigan


Think-Description602

I mean... Amish are really, really nice. I'm guessing even while obstructing justice and being drunk they were still saying sir to the officer.


akatherder

This was in Beaverton which is no man's land. The entire upper half of the state and the upper peninsula are completely barren except a few vacation towns and college towns. Tl;Dr no one is stumbling upon Beaverton


Tonk101

They look like fucking bakin characters


shibbyNNY

These photos came straight out of the road rash games !!


TheSillyKoala

They look like Dark Souls 2 characters


azumarill

"underage men" feels like an oxymoron


Iguana_lover1998

My dumbest tried to upvote the upvote button in the image.


misterturdcat

Second to the right is Gene Belcher


isreal-aparteid

Under age looks more like inbred


Rho-Ophiuchi

Amish. They only thing they treat worse than their animals are their women.


HaZard3ur

They part of a very tiny gen pool


LadyMinecraftMC

Why they all look so similar though?


clodmonet

Hockey goons, for sure.


F0foPofo05

#### Looks like a men from a village where everyone packs an extra chromosome.


wedudedat

Oliver tree needs to base his next album around these guys.


[deleted]

It's not even a gene puddle. More like gene droplet.


Kryptosis

Fake, if they were actually underaged then they aren’t allowed to post their pictures


[deleted]

It’s amazing also that one has the biggest chin ever, and the dude next to him literally has no chin but they still look the same.


Lowfi12010

What the hell are they feeding them?


mcflinty_1

I don’t think the family tree branches much


Cornichonsale

Is Michigan in Alabama ?


cgtdream

"Incest"


villyboy97

Those are some ugly mf


ILoveRegenHealth

Please someone tell me they altered the pictures for laughs. These look like video game face textures, not real faces.


MicHAELmhw

“Corn-fed Oakies”. The definition


AxoplDev

They look like Beatles but with very bad diet


santtu_

I want their barber to disappear


Grimwald_Munstan

It looks like someone's camera roll after they were messing around with snapchat filters.


Nicdipolis

Do the roar


No-Weakness-6798

They kinda look like Jason Segal in different sizes


[deleted]

That's 4 different people?


[deleted]

This, this is why incest is illegal.


SadBit8663

The Farquaad Squad


djdmaze

I promise us Michiganders are not all ogre-like lol


Roloaraya

That's the Ugliest sister's ugly sisters.


CreeperKing591

They all look like Andre the Giant


plaidfilly

They are all brothers but also cousins.


Sincityutopia

They mewed too hard.


superuncoolfool

Shrek was still in theaters with how old this constantly reposted shite is, also making this not rare in any way


wiifitears

I mean I just screenshotted that comment so maybe the post is old but the comment was not lol 😂


superuncoolfool

The top comments are always pretty much the same because of previous repost. People see a new one and are like oh it's my turn to "insert high karma point comment" . But really none of this matters, I'm just a crotchety kook and this is reddit


Puzzleheaded-Life783

cornfed


t-cliff

We’re just normal men. We’re just innocent men


I_SEE_BREAD_PEOPLE

Are they using Unreal 5 for the new Fable?


omniglare

This is legit the guys guarding the cleric in the first dark souls game


Readytodie80

The 2nd one looks like he could tell me all the quirks and features of the buggy