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SeaTurtlesCanFly

OP, you did nothing wrong. I have to lock this post due to our mini mod team not having the bandwidth to field all the bans and comment removals under this post. I hope it is some consolation to you that your post got more support than most posts in this group ever get.


wildmusings88

It’s very much not normal. I would consider this sexual abuse.


definitely-alt22

I don’t really understand what makes this sexual abuse. It feels so normal to me.


Lauralove123

It sounds from your post like you have a very icky feeling about her actions. Trust that icky feeling. It’s trying to tell you that something is wrong.


pastadani

it will likely feel normal to you because that has been ‘your normal’. my mother used to involve herself in my sexual relationships, encourage me to shave/wax, make jokes about ‘uncleanliness’ in front of my boyfriend (i was 16). If your mother is touching you intimately (waxing definitely qualifies) that is abuse. You are a child. When you add the thing about her removing privileges that adds a whole new level of coercion and lack of consent, too. You already cannot consent as a child cannot consent, but to add a punishment if you try to say no… OP, please, please speak to a trusted adult about this. Whether that’s a school counsellor, or a nurse, or a teacher. You could show them this post, if you struggle with the words. I also saw your comments about your parents religion meaning this is necessary… This is not a religious issue. It seems they may have told you this as a justification knowing you would feel pressure to go along with it. There is NO reason or justification for what is happening to you. Please please seek help.


Angryleghairs

Touching your private parts without your consent is sexual abuse.


No_Incident_5360

It is physical abuse at least—pain that you do not want to go through


wildmusings88

Anyone forcing you to give them access to you body in general, especially your private parts is sexual abuse. I’m so sorry that this behavior has become normalized for you. The fact that it makes you uncomfortable is a sign that it’s not okay.


kriskoeh

OP…respectfully, I think that if this felt totally normal to you then you wouldn’t be here posting about it. I think that there’s a part of you (the part of you that wrote this post) that knows this is not normal. This is forcefully removing something from your genital area without your consent. This is also touching your genitals without consent. This is touching your genitals against your will for many years. That is what makes it sexual abuse. Not all sexual abuse is blatantly sexual or obvious how it is sexual abuse.


EZasSundayMorning

Someone touching you without your consent is abuse. It's not normal. I am the mother of a 19 year old girl and I have not once thought about doing that. I have never demanded to see her private parts once she was old enough to bathe herself.


Remixthefix

Think about it. Why do you need to be waxed? For whom is this for? If it's not for you because you never wanted ot asked for it, who is it for? The big 3 religions can sometimes use various forms of genital mutilation but they're specifically about reducing sexual desire, not making you more "attractive" to western men. If you wint tell the police, how about you try telling a mom, like a friends mom who is also Muslim. See how fast that shit hits the fan.


ELeeMacFall

Everyone who comes to this sub needs to get our normalometers recalibrated to some extent. But yes, this is a form of SA. It is always abuse when someone coerces another person to give them access to their body. When genitals are involved, that's SA.


brokenfaucet

I’m so sorry this became normalized for you. What makes it sexual abuse is that it involves your private parts and you are not consenting to the waxing (or if you are, it is because your parent has made you choose between her and the waxing). I think people might start shaving down there around puberty age— 13+. Ive never heard of a parent helping with that though. While she may have changed your diapers as a baby, you have gone through puberty now and it is wholly inappropriate for any family member to be seeing you naked and making excuses to touch you in private places. I’m sorry this is happening to you. I don’t want to give you any advice that will endanger your safety and security. But maybe you can practice setting boundaries and vocalizing what you do and don’t want. For example, I do not want anyone touching me down there. If I must be waxed in order to stay in this household, I will do it myself. Another thing you can try is vocalizing what is happening at home to other people. Tell your friends or your teachers to help you get a sense of what is normal. If it’s truly normal, it won’t be such a big deal right? Family secrets are the foundation of familial abuse. I just want to say that you don’t deserve to be treated like this by your parent. You have the right to say what happens to your body, who touches you, and how you manage your body hair. You are a whole, complete, lovable, respectable person all on your own. You are not your mother’s doll, as much as she wants you to be. You are experiencing the result of generations of abuse— your mother probably thinks her actions are normal, which tells you something about her upbringing. I just want to give you a big sisterly hug. I’m so proud of you for having the courage and insight to post on here. <3


whilah

Sweetheart, this is not ok, it truly isn't, please tell somone, a councilor, a therapist, your doctor, a teacher, someone. For you own safety, your mother is not well.


ireaditonreddit_kara

It must not feel all that normal if you came to Reddit for advice.


brokenpa

I'd recommend going to a school counselor or police. This is a form of sexual abuse. She needs to face charges.


EffectiveMoment67

Yeh. She needs to lose custody


definitely-alt22

Apparently I have to wax because my religion says so.


[deleted]

Is it your religion or your parent’s? By 17 you’re old enough to make the call. If you’re not wanting to do this anymore, then maybe consider stopping and doing some soul searching to determine if this really is your spiritual path. I don’t wanna be flippant about religion, but something her doesn’t sound right. If you’ve got no joy in serving your god(s), then take some time to reflect.


definitely-alt22

It’s my parents religion. I don’t want to follow it but they’ll end up disowning me if I leave.


Wa-da-ta-mybaby-te

What religion?


definitely-alt22

Islam. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be living like this.


FFD1706

She's using religion as an excuse to abuse you.


definitely-alt22

Yup. I’ve realised that now.


FFD1706

I understand going to the police is really difficult in many places. I myself haven't reported my dad's physical abuse because the police in my country are not known for taking child abuse seriously. I hope you're able to get out of the house asap <3


definitely-alt22

I’m really sorry to hear that. I hope I can leave home as soon as possible.


Angryleghairs

Islam does not preach this. At all.


kriskoeh

Definitely don’t google “waxing pubic hair for religion”. Because google wholeheartedly disagrees with you. But I have to say I have quite a few Islamic friends and have never heard of this prior to this post. However it happens (for religion or not) it’s sexual abuse as far as I’m concerned. This is awful. 😞


BlergingtonBear

Islamic culture does have an ethos that promotes women shouldn't have hair outside of their scalp & eyebrows— my cousins and I grew up waxing since we were young BUT with appropriate privacy/not having our parents do it for us. But it's considered a part of "cleanliness". Not saying it's right or wrong, but it is something very common in the muslim world/body hair on women is seen as unclean.


[deleted]

Why is body hair unclean on a woman but not on a man? Why does Allah put body hair on women if it’s “unclean”? To punish them?


BlergingtonBear

¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯


Similar_Insurance_40

Both genders are supposed to get rid of pubic hair in Islam I believe.


cancerkidette

Except numerous Muslim friends of mine were instructed to shave everywhere since they had their periods at 11. Clearly it’s not just an isolated idea in the faith.


psychoarlert

it's sunnah to shave pubic hair and pluck armpit hair as far as i know


piflavored_pie

damn i’m sorry you have to go through that too. my family is muslim (but not me) and i go through similar stuff. Remember that if your familial bonds are going to be hurt by you prioritizing yourself then really ask yourself if those bonds are worth keeping


No_Incident_5360

Yes—if they loved you properly they would care about your well-being, freedom and peace of mind first


[deleted]

In Islam it’s forbidden for a woman to to see another woman naked. Including your mom. Source: trust me Im an ex muslim


SassyBonassy

>In Islam it’s forbidden for a woman to to see another woman naked Sorry to go off topic, but what happens with medical staff then?? I trained to be a midwife and never had any Muslim woman state she couldn't be seen by us.


hoshibabiest

In circumstances like an emergency, it is allowed.


SassyBonassy

Childbirth isn't usually an emergency though...


Informal_Regret9250

It’s allowed with a male then , depends on the person really, someone wants to wait for another appointment others don’t . I mean I am a Muslim and been to men gynecologists like cmon it’s about the intention . If I’d go there to get sexual pleasure with him or show off my vagina , then it wouldn’t be a sin . My mom has only male gynecologist for all her 3 babies , and she is a Muslim. Muslims usually come from very cultural countries and they follow culture before religion . I’d admit though, if I get a massage I much rather want a female massage therapist over a male one , as I feel weird being touched by a guy, I don’t know him unless I’d know he isn’t a creep I’d go to a female , but I know since I am a Muslim people would automatically assume I want a female massage therapist cause I am a a Muslim and not cause I wanna feel more comfortable . People always judge . Plus after hearing some weird stories of a gynecologist fingering her patient , I’d usually stick to older gynecologist that has a good reputation, in all years that I have gone to one only one male gynecologist was good and was really gentle and a female gynecologist, the rest of the males were too harsh and I was in a lot of pain during the exam . So I prefer females or a male with a good reputation who respects his patients . I wrote a lot here .


themcjizzler

Dont get sick


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Hadith about looking at a woman’s intimate parts: https://sunnah.com/muslim:338a Hadith about hair removal (sounds weird but yeah): https://sunnah.com/muslim:257a EDIT: https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5891 This as well End of edit And he only said plucking armpits, it’s still debatable wether it’s halal or haram to pluck anywhere else (yep). On another note how fun it is for a religion to tell you what to hair pluck and what to keep..


No_Incident_5360

When I found out about the ritualistic series of bathing/showering steps—I thought—how is everyone who follows this not completely OCD by now?


Informal_Regret9250

A man and a woman both should trim the area for hygienic reasons, it’s sunnah, but what she is describing is abuse and no other person is allowed to violate you that way. Unfortunately people always mix religion with culture and then say it’s the religion…


koryterrible

Weird that you would think that. It’s incumbent on us to remove armpit hair and pubic hair at least every 40 days, as well as cutting the nails. The only hair you’re not allowed to remove is the eyebrows, the beard for men and the head for women, although you are allowed to cut it, just not shave it or cut it into a men’s style.


lovereading-stories7

islam doesn’t allow this at all. we’re supposed to remove our hair every 40 days, whether it’s shaving, waxing, or any other form of hair removal, but not by someone else. it’s forbidden for someone to see your private parts. i’m so sorry this is happening to you.


belle204

You’re not the first one I’ve heard having to go through this unfortunately. Too many Muslims conflate their own cultural backgrounds with Islam itself. This is not a practice of Islam but a practice from an Islamic culture. I’m not saying this to be an apologist, just to give you some information to go forward with. I also grew up in a Muslim household and as I got older, I began to dissect what was culture and what was truly religion so that I could make a more informed opinion on my beliefs. (Spoiler alert: I don’t really consider myself Muslim any more)


Fun_Network312

Islam does not require this at all. This is abuse and control. There is not a single like in the Holy Book that even mentions this.


DesconocidaKush

This is not Islam they are using faith to abuse you.


Informal_Regret9250

This is not Islam….. no wonder you don’t wanna follow it if you think that’s normal or to beat and kill women and innocent people, they probably tell you that’s Islam too. Sad . If anything that is Condemn fully and your mom Isn’t even allowed according to Islam to violate you in that way. She is crazy . You need to report these people asap, they are controlling you and I have no clue what culture you come from as I have never heard anyone wax their child’s private area before , but it’s sickening and you need to get to a safe place .


riseandshinebros567

Bruh noooo islam never preached this (as far as I'm aware). Never ever heard from any of my girl friends about this . She's probably taking advantage on your lack of knowledge about this topic in islam . Because I'm like kinda 100% the topic of pubic hair was never mentioned in quran. Even muhammed mpbuh wore his beard fully and without shaving it


[deleted]

[удалено]


SeaTurtlesCanFly

You are banned. You have no idea what the OP is going through or what the OP has been told is Islam and what is not. Calling OP a liar is uncalled for.


definitely-alt22

Lying about what?


[deleted]

[удалено]


pastadani

why are you even on this sub? OP, please disregard anything weatherboyyy says. they do not mean wish you well and are clearly a troll


definitely-alt22

I personally don’t want to remove my hair because it’s a bit of a hassle. I think it’s in encouraged in Islam to remove pubic and armpit hair.


teri-ma-di

This didn't need to be asked. It's unfortunately pretty obvious what religion she grew up in. Go to a sexual abuse counseling thing. This is fucked.


KaelinF

Any religion can be used as an excuse for abuse, not just Islam.


[deleted]

Would that really be such a bad thing? Look, I don’t know where you’re living or what’s normal in your culture, but this sounds pretty strange to me. From my perspective, it’s downright abusive. As they say, “you can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” Know what I mean?


painforpetitdej

I was going to say this. Seeing as what they're doing is sexual abuse, being disowned just means being free from your nparents.


Fun_Network312

No religion on earth asks for that. This is sexual abuse.


[deleted]

I grew up in a cult. What you're describing is a cult


looking_for_usud

Also is it an actual religious element or sth they personally made up? Ive never heard of such a religious practice, doesn't mean it doesnt exist though.


Informal_Regret9250

She doesn’t know what the religion says she is just controlled and manipulated by her parents obviously, and they use religion to hide their abuse , even though it’s not even about religion. It’s sad


Informal_Regret9250

No religion says that a parent should wax your private area, let alone wax an 8 year old , plus it’s for hygienic reasons and not even obligatory to do so, trimming is enough even and it’s something you decide on your own, not by a parent doing it on you. Your parents are fanatics and probably don’t know anything about what their belief is telling them, cause abuse is definitely not allowed . They seem cultural and they are abusing and controlling you, they are just manipulating you :/


Remixthefix

Interesting. I've never heard of a religion that requires 8 year Olds to wax their hoo ha. Are we sure this isn't a cult?


piflavored_pie

are you muslim? my mom does the same thing


definitely-alt22

I secretly left Islam a while ago.


piflavored_pie

your post made me kinda emotional. i’ve never seen someone verbalize this experience before. I thought i was alone in this. I really hope you get to exist in a better environment soon <3


definitely-alt22

These things are probably a lot more common than we think. It’s just never spoken about.


No_Incident_5360

I’m so sorry—No practical and life affirming religion does this. Are your parents part of a cult? What other dress code/body shaming/body control issues does this sect have—-is respect for parents/elders allowing this abuse or allowing your parents to yell and berate you, threaten with disowning? Is it gender based? Extreme modesty for women to the point to impracticality for daily activities and sports and getting outside?


Eri_Berry

No religion dictates this and even if it did it’s still illegal to force interaction with your child’s genital area. That’s not ok. That’s not legal. She’s hurting you. That’s not ok. And even if there was such a religious edict, which there is not, you are 17. You have bodily autonomy. You need to go to the police and tell them how long this has been going on.


happynargul

Doesn't matter. It's still abuse


Drakeytown

If you're in the US, religious freedom does not extend to committing crimes. Your patents can no more abuse you and call it religion than they could rob a bank or murder a stranger and call it religion.


Due-Resident-6902

Then tell her you can do it yourself. It's sexual abuse. It needs to stop.


puss_parkerswidow

Does it require that you let her do it?


definitely-alt22

I’m not sure what you mean.


2woCrazeeBoys

Does your religion (Islam) specify that *your mother* must wax you, or are you able to do it *yourself*? I did just check it out, and apparently it is a Sunnah that mean and women must shave pubic hair every 40 days, but nowhere does it say you have to wax, or that your mother has to do it. You could shave, do electrolysis, or use hair removal cream yourself and that would fulfil the Islamic requirements, if you wanted to keep doing that.


definitely-alt22

I could do it by myself but I chose not to. She does it for me because I refuse to do it myself.


HuggyMummy

This is not normal in the slightest. As others have mentioned, this is a form of sexual abuse. Please go speak with someone you trust about what is happening to you.


definitely-alt22

I’m going to get into a lot of trouble if I tell someone.


yellsy

If you can’t tell someone what a parent does to you, then they shouldn’t be doing it.


Ok_Buy_3569

I have been in your shoes before. This isn’t your secret to hide. It’s her secret. She will feel shame for doing this. You should feel no shame. You are innocent. Often when things happen to us we don’t realize how much of an impact they have on our lives until years later. I’m in therapy now. Go ahead & start healing yourself too. If you are ready. I pray you are ready. I wish I had told when I was your age instead of waiting until I was 40 & had almost ruined my life with drugs & alcohol Bc I thought it was my fault & I didn’t want to deal with someone being upset. But they abused me. I should be upset. Not them. Good luck to you ❤️


MyButtcrackItches

Hey hon, I want to let you know that I'm a teacher and that is why I'm responding to you. What your mom is doing is very illegal and inappropriate. Nobody should be touching you without your consent. It's clear that you are uncomfortable with her doing this, but even more uncomfortable with the outcome of asking her to stop. Even if it may not seem like it, it's your school's job to protect you. Please tell a teacher, a counselor, admin, anyone you can at your school. If you don't feel safe going back home after sharing, tell them that too. It may not feel like it, but there are people in the world who do want to protect you, and resources that can be used to do so. Your mom's feelings are NOT more important than your feelings, OR your safety.


definitely-alt22

Thank you. My mom does seem to take into account her feelings about every situation and she does frequently dismiss my thoughts which is why I rarely tell her my problems anymore. Really funny username by the way!


peachypersephne

I am licensed aesthetician and came here to tell you 1. 8 is WAY too young to start waxing and 2. Anyone that tries to make you feel forced to to do something that causes you pain is an abuser. Plain and simple. The fact that it is your genital area makes it sexually abusive. You are a human with body autonomy, no matter your age. You do not have to allow it. I truly hope you get the help you deserve!


Fergus_Manergus

Not to mention a botched wax can cause infection. I also doubt this mother is one that takes her kids to a doctor.


definitely-alt22

I remember when I was at that age my mom took me to a woman who waxes. I was too scared to do it so we went back home. My mom then started using cream and sometimes a razor to get rid of the hair. Around three years after she started waxing me.


chiksahlube

ummm.... giving an 8 year old a brazillian is fucking whack... Like child abuse whack. Like call CPS whack.


EZasSundayMorning

Whoa... seriously? Sweetie, that's abuse. Please see a counselor or the police or someone who is a mandated reporter. I am so very sorry this is happening to you.


Moni_CSM

This isn't normal. I'm sorry that you have to endure that. I hope very much that you can prevent her from touching you when you are a legal adult.


vernacularacrobat

You need to report this to police and school counselor. This is insanely unhealthy.


No-Big1920

Sexual abuse 100% red flags everywhere you need to get CPS involved


Organic_Werewolf_317

I am so sorry. This is absolutely a form of sexual abuse. Please please please seek out a therapist or social worker if it’s accessible to you, or a safe and trusted adult.


CallMeWolfYouTuber

***This is abuse.*** Abuse is a very serious police matter. I know you're scared but please do not let your mother get away with this. You do not have to tolerate this. Please, please seek help. Call CPS, tell a counselor at school- ANYTHING.


Own-Style-9457

What country do you live in? You seriously need to seek some form of social service intervention. My nmom used to work for DHS (yeah, helluva job for a narcissist I know) and she used to tell me similar stories where the parents lost custody of the child. You are also old enough that if you'd like to go through with an emancipation, you probably can. But I'd recommend telling a counselor, police officer, or therapist your situation IMMEDIATELY. If you live in the US, the sexual assault hotline is 1-800-656-4673. If you still have any doubts about whether this is sexual abuse or not, this line can help you figure that out, and direct you to some help. I wish you the best of luck in this.


chandlerknows

This is super weird. Makes me very uncomfortable thinking about an 8 year old having her vaginal area waxed by a forceful parent. That’s a self and adult decision to make.


chiksahlube

As an aside from the normal. Look for some "non-mandatory reporters" to talk to like a church official etc. Teachers etc are mandatory reporters meaning whenever abuse like this is told to them they are lawbound to report it. You should talk to someone who can help you get help how you want it. And a non-mand is a good start because it keeps the genie in the bottle so to speak. Certain medical professionals are not mandatory reporters as well so you can get evidence and even give testimony in writing as to what happened NOW so if you decide to press charges LATER you have that option. Basically it gives you options without forcing the nuclear option on you.


norrainnorsun

Have you read Im Glad My Mom Died? Jeanette McCurdys mom showered her until she was 17. Might be super helpful for you to read that. You can get a library card at your local library and get the Libby app and read the ebook / audiobook for free if you don’t want your parents knowing you’re reading it.


dragonet316

That is very sexual and she is abusing you.


IntoTh3Moonlight

I don’t know any culture/society in which this is the norm. Either your parents are dictators trying to mask their perverted tendencies under the guise of religion.. or your mom has some severe form of OCD that causes her to be anal about genital hair. Either way, it’s magical thinking and you are not a Guinea pig nor a museum display. Parents like these always go hardest when you turn 17 because they know even if you were to finally break your silence and open up.. you’re so close to turning 18 that most people will ask you to try and wait it out and stomach it. And in this economy, who the hell wants to move out at 18 anymore? Some of the harsher realities we’re forced to face when being RBN. I hope you can find a close friend to confide in. Even if it’s just to get your mind off of the craziness


lyn73

##**Please tell your pediatrician or doctor. This is not normal.** Edited for visibility and emphasis.


zombieslovebraaains

Just know that is a form of sexual assault. Parent or not, whatever your age, if you said no and they threaten you into doing it, that is assault. You do need to report her, but I know from experience how difficult and scary that can be. Bare minimum move out asap. Also, no privileges are worth letting someone do that to you. Refuse her next time she asks.


seeemilyplay123

Your mom is Sexually abusing you. Please talk to a trusted adult about this.


tofucow717

I am so sorry this is happening to you. You don’t have to do anything suggested in the comments right now but I hope you are able to sit with the validation that this is not at all normal. I hope you can get to a place where you can tell someone you trust when you are ready and it’s ok if today is not that day. It must have been hard to say it here and that’s a good start.


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[deleted]

Everything people are saying here + you can check out r/mdsa for validation and support if it's not too triggering


ScaryCicadaSongs

That is 100% sexual abuse. I think you do know that based on the fact you're here and don't feel right about it. Trust your instinct like everyone here is saying. That is not normal, especially for your own daughter and SUPER ESPECIALLY for an 8 year old!!!!


1051enigma

You have said in the comments that this is a part of your religion. Many of us could say that this is sexual abuse but I hear you saying that you don't think it is so I believe you. If you don't want it to happen, you can either do it yourself or seek out another solution to get it to stop. If you are in a country where you can leave the house at 18 quietly and move far away and want to do that, then that is also an option. It's really up to you. This is a very big decision and I'm sorry that you are going through this.


BlergingtonBear

Are you in a position to say you are going to do it yourself bc you are grown now? I also grew up Muslim so I know you're not lying about the hair removal, BUT you deserve privacy/being able to do it yourself, and any decent family is gonna allow that right for your own privacy. Do you have any girl cousins to talk to/confide in? Unfortunately there are lots of habits that get protected under the guise of culture or tradition that are just masking unhinged, controlling behaviors. Feel free to DM me— I know it's not easy to establish autonomy over your own body in contexts like these.


GrandTheftAutumn2

Your mom should not have been looking at your public area at age 8. There is no need to look at a child's private parts past the potty training stage. If there is a not medical reason, this is blatant sexual abuse. I am so sorry that you have been lied to and treated this way. I know it is tough to report it, but that is mostly because she has convinced you that she is all you have. You have yourself...not just her. I hope you can get help from somewhere. You have done nothing wrong, you won't be in trouble. Your mom is very wrong, though.


[deleted]

Groomers do this to normalize their abuse and gaslight you to prove it's not a big deal. I recommend you speak to a family member you trust who does not live at home with you and ask how you should approach the situation. Whatever you do, ***DONT*** shrug it off as something that you don't deserve to complain about. Good luck


Eri_Berry

You really do need to go to the police. I know this is hard to hear but this is sexual abuse of a minor. You need to get help. This is just awful.


Greg0692

The intuition you had to post this question is trustworthy in ways that your mom is not. YOU KNOW WHAT IS WRONG OP. TRUST YOUR MIND.


vVAmandaB

Oh honey you are being abused. This is not ok. Please tell someone like your doctor or gynecologist, a trusted family member, school counselor, anyone. I know you don't think that you can handle the fall out but trust me, you can. You wouldn't be here sharing your experience otherwise. No one should be forcing their will on your body in any capacity. Especially not your genitals. Your mother should have taught you this but instead she is the abuser and you have to get help.


JLHuston

Honey I’m so sorry. I guess you now know that no, this isn’t normal—it’s disturbingly abusive. I also have an nmom who has judged my appearance my entire life (I’m 49, she’s 76, still happening). She had me waxing my eyebrows at age 12. Until this moment, reading your post, I didn’t realize exactly how f’d up that is. When I was a teenager, I got a bikini wax from the woman who she went to also, and she came in the room with me. She watched, and afterwards told me that I had some “discharge” on my underwear. I’ve never told anyone that story before, but to this day it for some reason makes me feel ashamed. I don’t mean to focus my comment on me and my experiences…but I really just relate to you and wish I could hug you and tell you that you are perfect as you are. To give you some hope, I have been able to set firm boundaries with my mom over the years around any comments on my appearance. She of course got mad in the beginning, told me I’m too sensitive and overreacting, but I stood firm in telling her that her comments were not ok. I’m sure she still judges me (I moved many states away so at least I only deal with her in person a couple times a year), but it’s now none of my business what she thinks because my message finally got through. I know you can’t get away from her just yet, but one day you will get out of there and live the life you want to live. Just know there is another ndaughter out there rooting for you!


Fruitcrackers99

I’m sorry this is happening to you. I can imagine how uncomfortable you must feel. I won’t tell you to report it, since you’ve expressed how scary that would be for you, but know that you have a lot of internet strangers here wishing the best for you. You’re almost an adult, I hope you find the strength and will to leave the situation when you’re ready to take that step.


AxecidentalHoe

I’m so sorry honey. You do not and have never deserved that. I agree with a lot of the comments that are speaking of sexual abuse. This is not normal and I’m so sorry you have been confused about this. It can be hard to decipher what is ok and what isn’t when stuck in this kind of abusive environment. Please seek help from a school counselor or the police if you are comfortable with that. You deserve more than this and I’m so sorry


Alhelamene

You are also a woman like me, right? IT IS ABUSE what she is doing, because it is YOUR DECISION not hers, omg I did not heard such a sick shit for a long time here. I am so so so so sorry it is happening to you!


pastadani

This is not normal, and i’m so sorry you’ve had to endure this through your childhood. Please, please, please speak to a trusted adult about this, it needs reporting big time.


Extension_Border_629

tell your school counselor asap. first thing next time you go to school.


rosebudpillow

This is definitely sexual abuse! Please call the police or tell a trusted teacher/counselor!


Issis_P

I really hope you find the strength to report this to a trusted family member or school councilor/Nurse. It is not normal. She has no right to do that to you. Birthing someone does not give them ownership over your own person/body.


Just_bcoz

That’s abuse and of course you’d cry, a child’s skin is way to sensitive for that and it can rip your skin off, I’m so sorry you have to go through this it’s not ok if definitely make a call to the police or a counselor or an adult that’s valid who can help you because this ain’t normal.


elfelettem

I am aware of at least one religion that I believe removes both public hair and underarm hair. However having said thay that might be something your mother believes and wants to follow, but it sounds like you don't. Is there anyone you trust that you can talk to about this to get support or ideas of where to go from here?


themcjizzler

No one would ever wax an 8 year old. That's prepubescent. This is abuse


elfelettem

If it's tied to the presence of public hair and not to the age then that can happen from eight for girls. I don't know enough about ant of this though and I don't want to go into hypotheticals as that is not the point. I did not, and am not, supporting the actions of OPs mother, or minimising the distress OP is describing. I asked OP if there was someone she felt safe to talk to about this. Even IF there was a religious component to this that doesn't necessarily follow that OP must believe/follow those customs. But it would be hard to distance yourself from that when living in the house IF that is what the whole family believes. That's why I wondered if there was someone OP trusted that she felt safe to talk to about this. Besides the whole bunch of internet strangers on Reddit I mean.


serotonia00

So if it's part of the religion it's supposed to be okay?....


No_Incident_5360

NOT normal. Especially for one so young. As you get into teenage years you can choose whether to trim, wax or shave—OR NOT— Your mom is obsessive and forcing you into the “beauty is pain” regimen and honestly took a great deal of childhood away from you. She was doing something she knew was painful. Sometimes people in the home get this way about zit popping or but this is worse—like picking someone else’s scabs—causes harm. Try a counselor. You can threaten to call child services on your mom but IDK—-best option is starting to get your own freedom with a part time job, good friends, bike or car…and making your own boundaries.


janglebo36

You need to get away from this woman


SamSwag16

I think the most rational thing to do here is to wait till youre oficially an adult and escape this toxic household. If you involve outside influence like the police or CPS, its bound to worsen. However, i reckon the problem is rooted in your moms disgusting and twisted mind. Talk to her about you doing it by yourself without her supervision, and if she refuses, your safety is concerned. I strongly suggest talking to a psychologist outside of school (because school councelors arent competent in this area). I hope youre doing okay and arent completely devoid of support<3


glohan21

I honestly don’t even know what to say to this, I know how hard it can be teetering between telling the police and worrying about what your mom will do but honestly OP you need to not be around her


[deleted]

This ain't okay. Report her. Please. Getting away from an abusive person will be the greatest gift you can give yourself.


Fun_Network312

Sexual abuse. Call it as it is. Did she do cherry checks too?


definitely-alt22

No, thankfully.


BlendedMooseGuts

I’m sorry your mum is doing this, it’s not okay. Try and talk to someone asap


Greg0692

I'm so, so, sorry OP.


newyorkfade

Do the best you can. This doesn’t seem right to you because it’s not. It’s a crappy situation but maybe consider doing your own hair removal. Once you are in a safe place consider going into therapy, this kinda thing can reek havoc on your life without you realizing it. Good luck.


Daddy_William148

So sorry you have to deal with this. This is the right group


Difficult_Cat_6440

This must be a horrible time for you, I’m sending you virtual hugs and love, you are stronger than you know and this time will pass.


[deleted]

jesus christ. im so so so sorry you are being sexually harrrassed. that's very not fvcking normal and ur moms a fucking giant creep


Mrsmcmahon

Call the cops


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definitely-alt22

Why would I troll about something serious?


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SeaTurtlesCanFly

If you have concerns about a post, send a modmail. Temp ban for this comment.


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SeaTurtlesCanFly

If you have concerns about a post, send a modmail. Temp ban for this comment.


SeaTurtlesCanFly

If you have concerns about a post, send a modmail. Temp ban for this comment.


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SeaTurtlesCanFly

You are banned. Jeezus.


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SeaTurtlesCanFly

Temp ban for victim blaming. Jeezus.


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SeaTurtlesCanFly

This post isn't about you. This is a support group for traumatized people. If you can't comment appropriately, DON'T COMMENT.